As soon as he arrived at the estate Quinn used the servants' entrance to enter the house again – the guard droids apparently had already received instructions to let him pass. A droid let him into the kitchen where Quinn informed the service droids of Chester's needs. They filled a small bowl with vegetables and Chester devoured everything within minutes.

Then one of the droids led him to Vette's room, where he let Chester off the leash and closed the door behind him. Just when he turned to leave he heard a voice ringing out.

"Captain Quinn – back so soon?"

He turned and saw Acudae walking towards him. He bowed. "My lord, I merely brought Chester back. I will leave for the city again shortly."

"Why wasn't I informed that one of the guests has come back?" Acudae asked sharply, staring at the droid.

"Captain Quinn entered the estate through the servant entrance, Mistress. Therefore I assumed that his return didn't warrant your attention."

Acudae blinked in confusion. Quinn realised that he had made a mistake.

"My lord, I apologize if I have caused trouble. I thought it presumptuous to enter through the main gate. Shall I tell Vette and Pierce not to use it then?"

"Of course not! You are our guests!" Acudae turned to the droid. "Leave us, please."

It obeyed and Quinn fell into parade rest and grabbed his left hand.

"I think I understand now what kind of man you are, Captain Quinn. I see why you have my daughter's favour."

He shifted his weight from one leg to another. He didn't know what to say. Finally he managed to say "Thank you, my lord".

She smiled warmly at him. "I will show you to her room."

ooOOoo

When the doors slid shut behind him, Quinn exhaled and ran his hand through his hair. It had been a weird day so far and he felt exhausted. But then he remembered where he was and cautiously stepped into the middle of the room. Light wood dominated the furniture, a collection of lightsabers and vibro-swords were hanging on the walls. White curtains were hanging in front of the windows, on the desk in the northern part of the room stood an old holocomm device and a holocomm station. A few holopictures showed Pureblood Sith he didn't know. The whole room reminded him of Teava, but he couldn't say why… And he had the privilege to stay here …

Then he remembered that he hadn't told 2V that they would be staying at the estate. He pulled his data pad from his utility belt and sent him a message to collect a set of fresh clothes and sent it to the estate. Then he checked the time: 14:58.

It was time to leave for the café.

As he walked alone through Kaas City he realised that he was actually looking forward to chatting with his mother. Certainly she had only been busy with her important work at the Ministry of Information and would've eventually written back. Perhaps they could finally mend their relationship now that he was again moving up in the galaxy.

He arrived at exactly 15.58 at the café and sat down at a table. He ordered a turu tea and scrolled though a few reports and checked the time: It was already 16.08. It was rather unusual for his mother to be late.

After a few more minutes she finally arrived and sat down across from him, putting her rain shield droid into her purse. "I apologize, but I have a lot on my plate right now."

"It's alright, I had plenty to read," Quinn replied, then took a sip of his tea.

"Are you still reading that historical nonsense?" Natahle waved a waiter and rummaged again in her purse without looking at him.

"Actually I was reading a report on recent Imperial war efforts."

She pulled her holocomm device from her bag and checked it quickly. "Ah." The waiter arrived and she said: "A glass of iced tea please."

"How have you been?" he asked.

"Busy – beside my work for the ministry I'm organising events for promising young soldiers. Idleness rusts the mind, so I'm enjoying myself quite a bit actually."

Quinn waited politely a few moments for her to ask about him, but when she stayed silent he spoke up. "I'm fine, too. Lord Teava is a very capable Sith and the rest of the crew is competent. And Darth Baras had taken note of my work and has promoted me to captain."

"Yes, yes, and when will you become a major?"

Quinn was caught off guard by her question. "I- I don't know. I assume it will take some time before I'm promoted again."

"Excuse my lack of enthusiasm. But you were a major ten years ago –"

"Do we have to discuss this again?" he asked with a cutting tone in his voice.

The waiter brought her iced tea and left. Natahle didn't touch it, instead she stared sadly at her son. "You have no idea what I had to endure after your mistake. All the whispers behind my back, the shame whenever I met your old classmates from the academy – even the most dimwitted of them is now at least a commander."

"I did the right thing," Quinn said coldly. "It wasn't a mistake."

"But of course you were always a soft-hearted dreamer," Natahle continued as if he hadn't spoken, "who wasted his time with foolish things like dreaming of joining the Imperial Guard. We thought that your naiveté, your childish patriotism would disappear over the years."

Quinn frowned. "You think my patriotism is childish?"

"My poor boy, your community-oriented patriotism is of course childish. Despite your intelligence, you never understood that one has to look out for oneself – no one else will. But even after Balmorra, even after all these years you still believe that your loyalty, your sacrifice for the, uh, greater good will pay off."

Quinn felt caught and shifted in his seat.

"But it won't," Natahle said sharply. "You have to utilize those subordinated to you to advance, step on their backs to go forward if necessary. That is the Imperial way!"

"That isn't the Imperial way!" Quinn said hotly. "I'm of course aware that some might build their career on that, but Lord Teava for example -"

"Lord Teava is a Pureblood Sith. She can afford those values you cherish so much because she's a powerful Force-user from an ancient family. She doesn't have to fight for her place of power – the rest of us have to!"

"You mean you have to?" Quinn asked, annoyed.

"Come now, Malavai. Don't hide behind sophistry to cover up your weakness. Today I saw you in the park with this Twi'lek – you were on a walk with a slave and a gizka. This wasn't about community or for the betterment of the Empire. I bet you offered to take her there because you thought it was called for."

Again Quinn felt caught; was he really so easy to read?

"Your father and I paid a fortune to the best eugenics specialist to ensure that you had what it takes to bring pride to the Quinn family. We sent you to the best schools, engaged the best tutors. And despite your potential and our best efforts, you still failed." She sighed. "My mother was right after all – it was foolish to focus on one child instead of raising several."

Quinn clenched his hands to fists, wanted to disprove her, to tell her that he wasn't a failure. But he couldn't think of anything to say – his career was indeed in shambles and he was indeed but a captain at an age in which others were at least commanders. He stopped clenching his fists. He was indeed weak, all of it was true.

Natahle leaned forward. "You need to pull yourself together, Malavai. There is no room for mistakes – being in Lord Teava's service is probably your last chance to actually achieve something in your life. To prove that you're more than a failure."

Quinn just stared at her. They had had this conversation many times, but this was the first time she had actually told him that he had failed his parents. He was surprised to discover that it still hurt him even though she had implied it often enough.

"I- I won't fail," he only managed to say.

She smiled and patted his knee. "Of course you won't." Natahle checked her holocomm. "Unfortunately I have to leave now – there is still much to prepare for the party." She got up and put her coat on. "You're a busy man, I don't expect you to show up tonight. I'm certain that you still have a lot of work to do to keep your post."

Quinn glanced at her iced tea – she hadn't even touched it. He looked up and watched how she put her shawl around her neck. He felt cold and sick. "Yes, of course. Good-bye mother," he said in a toneless voice.

"Good-bye Malavai," she replied and left without looking back.

ooOOoo

Back at the estate, Quinn used the main gate, but he was told that the masters of the house were out. He was relieved and strode directly into Vette's room. Chester was playing with a pillow and cooed when he saw Quinn. He ran towards him and rubbed himself against his legs.

Quinn picked Chester up. The animal purred and snuggled himself into Quinn's arms. Feeling the warmth of the animal against his chest consoled and calmed Quinn.

"How are you?" he asked softly and petted him.

Chester crowed happily.

"I'm not doing so well." Quinn said quietly.

Another crow made Quinn almost smile.

"Really, do you think so?"

Quinn pressed Chester a little closer to his chest and sat down on the couch in the left corner of the room. He took his data pad in his right hand and stroked Chester, who sat on his lap, with his left. Soon the pet fell asleep.

ooOOoo

Several hours later his holocomm beeped and startled Chester; he ran off and hid under the bed before Quinn could catch him. A glance at the caller ID revealed that Teava was calling him.

Alarmed, he activated his comm and within moments Teava's small bluish figure appeared.

"My lord?"

"Where are you?" she asked, a smile audible in her voice. "I can't find you in this crowd. Your mother knows how to throw a party!"

Quinn relaxed a little, so she hadn't called him because it was an emergency. "I'm at the estate, I'm not attending the party."

"What? You can't tell me that you still have work to do!"

He shifted in his seat. "I didn't receive an invitation, but it's alright –"

"Malavai, are you seriously so stuck up? Your mother is the host! You don't need a formal invitation!" she sounded impatient.

"She asked me not to come," he reluctantly admitted.

"She did?" Teava asked, her voice flat.

"Yes."

"Why in the galaxy would she do that?"

"I would rather not discuss it," Quinn ran a hand through his hair.

"Do you really don't want to talk about it or are you just embarrassed?"

"It's awkward …"

"This won't do! I'm on my way!" Teava ended the call.

Quinn buried his face in his hands. He should've just lied to her – told her that he had work to do. He should have played the role of the stoic arrogant officer who's too busy to attend frivolous parties. Now he had to admit his weakness, his immature sense of duty to the woman whose strength he admired and loved.

He really wished Vette were here to give him advice on how to handle this. She usually had a good perspective on these matters. Quinn briefly toyed with the idea of calling her, but then he discarded it. He couldn't rely on Vette; he had to be strong on his own.

Quinn stood up and wanted to start to look for Chester. But then he halted. What was he doing? The gizka wasn't his problem, wasn't it? Why should he care how he was doing? But then he remembered how happy Vette was when she was playing with Chester. And hadn't he himself started to like him? Taken comfort in his company?

He knelt down and saw Chester in the farthest corner under the bed.

"Come here, everything is alright," Quinn said and gestured Chester to come to him.

Chester ran to Quinn and prodded him with his nose. Quinn petted Chester. "Good boy."

After a few moments Chester ran to the pillow and started to play with it by tossing it up in the air.

Quinn thought about taking the pillow away so that Chester wouldn't damage it. But it seemed cruel to deny him his game … by the stars, his mother was indeed right – he was soft-hearted. Quinn sighed and left the room. Teava would certainly arrive soon – he should wait for her in her room.

ooOOoo

Quinn stood in front of the panorama window and stared into the distance when Teava arrived. The noise of the door sliding open made him flinch. He turned to greet her and he almost gasped when he saw her – Teava looked absolutely stunning. She wore a dark robe with rich embroidery; it was unostentatious but elegant. Her bright eyes almost glowed in the dim light of the room.

"My l-," Quinn began, but Teava stepped forward and embraced him. He returned the hug.

For a few moments they stood in silence.

"Now tell me," Teava quietly said. "Tell me what you really want to say."

Quinn looked her in the eye. Here it was again, the strange glint she sometimes had. Suddenly he felt liberated – this was it, the right time to tell her everything. "I love you, Teava. I love you so much that I even sometimes forget how much I hate myself."

"I don't understand – why would you hate yourself?"

"I was too weak to succeed in life and left to my own devices I would still be languishing on Balmorra. It's pathetic."

She let go of him and cupped his cheek with her hand. "You are not weak."

Quinn took her hand and kissed it. "You are mistaken. I dream of an Empire that doesn't exist, where hard work pays off and where we all strive together for a common goal. And I'm too cowardly to admit that perhaps all my sacrifices were for naught." He paused. "I'm soft and weak-willed and I'm afraid that you will send me away because of it."

"This is what happened, isn't it? You were left behind because you were supposedly too soft?"

Quinn just nodded.

"Do you know why I chose to share my bed you?" she smiled at him; it warmed his heart.

"You said that you were attracted to me."

"No, I mean now. Why did I choose to be with you?"

"I-I don't know. You said that you missed me."

Teava took his hand and kissed it. "Because you brave and strong, my love." She kissed his hand again. "You always stood by your beliefs, even when they set back your career. A lesser man would have become bitter and cold towards those who moved on, but not you. You didn't blame others for your misfortune ‑ quite the contrary. You helped whoever needed your help. Even if you didn't profit from it. This is not the easy way a coward would take. It's the long way only a brave man can endure."

"But-" Teava shook her head and he fell silent.

"At first I didn't realise it, but I have fallen in love with you, Malavai. I thought love only had to be fire and all-consuming lust, but it's more than that. Love is you kissing me every morning when you get up, love is me holding your hand and love is us lying in bed together, reading while enjoying our company."

Quinn started to beam, he licked his lips and asked quietly: "Y-you are in love with me?"

She gave him a lopsided smile. "That's the bottom line of my little speech, yes." Then she pulled him into a kiss.

She interrupted the kiss after a few moments and whispered: "There is something else I need to tell you."

"Really?"

"Your mother's party sucked."

Quinn laughed. "And why is that?"

"There was no music to dance to!"

"Aren't you supposed to say because I wasn't there?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, that too, but mostly the music!" Then she said in a soft voice. "I was really looking forward to dancing with you."

Quinn took the hint and went to the comm station. He thought about checking the time as he used the station, but then he decided against it. Quinn chose a playlist, seconds later slow music started to play. He returned to Teava and bowed.

"May I ask for this dance, my lord?"

"Of course, my captain."

They started to dance, but despite the elegant, fluent music, it was quite an awkward business. When Teava stepped on Quinn's feet for the third time, he burst out laughing. "You are a horrible dancer!"

"I am not! Not only am I a very smooth flirter, but I'm also a born dancer!"

"No – you are always off-beat. But that's what a love about you."

"You love about me that I'm breaking your toes?"

"At least you're not wearing your heavy-plated combat boots," quipped Quinn. "But what I really meant was that I love how you carry yourself. I think I was lost the moment you stepped into my office in Sobrik."

She didn't say anything, instead she just looked at him, there was again the gleam, the spark in her eyes he had seen before. And in this moment everything was alright, his nagging self-doubts were reduced to a whisper until he couldn't hear them anymore.