A/N: My heart. dying. Episode 12 killed me so many times. Maybe...4 times? God, Reina. Why. Whyyyyyyyyy. MY ship.

Okay. enough of that.

Here is this thing I wrote. EPISODE 12 SPOILERS

Main themes: Unrequited love


Kumiko never understood it.

She knew Reina better than anyone, probably better than herself, but the euphonium player could never ever understand it.

She could never understand why Reina continued to struggle. It was futile, childish, delusional…

Crazy.

Kumiko berated herself mentally, knowing that she was just projecting. She was the one who felt crazy. Reina was the one driving her to the brink of insanity.

Thinking again, Kumiko sighed. She slumped onto the park bench, glancing around briefly. There was no one around now, the skies dark, the park deserted. The flickering streetlights were her only company. It must have been crazy of her to be wandering around at this time of night, but they weren't due back for another few hours and there was no way the bus was going to leave without her.

If anything, she wanted to be alone for the rest of the night. It was emotionally draining to keep her mask up for so many hours now.

She was tired of it.

She was tired of pretending to be okay with not winning gold.

She was tired of pretending to be fine with Reina liking Taki-sensei.

Today was the last straw. Reina's confession broke her heart, but the façade she had to keep up afterwards was even more painful. In hindsight, Kumiko thought she must have been damaged. It was too easy to play pretend and too easy to shut off her emotions and act like everything was okay.

Sighing again, Kumiko buried her face in her hands, propping her elbows up on her knees. She really was the worst.

"Onee-chan…what should I do…?"

Kumiko found herself calling for her older sister, unsatisfied with the distant farewell they had on the bridge. She knew she couldn't depend on her sister anymore. She also knew she couldn't depend on Reina anymore.

Gritting her teeth, the troubled euphonium player thought back to Reina's honest expression, her heartfelt words that told her that the girl was serious about Taki-sensei. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she felt a sob tickling her throat.

She didn't care anymore.

Reina, Taki-sensei…she didn't care about them anymore.

"Kumiko?"

Kumiko stiffened, wiping away her tears with the sleeves of her uniform. She looked up, trying to blink away the remnants of her own self-pity.

"Are you alright?"

A lanky boy appeared in front of Kumiko, a concerned expression on his face as he emerged from the bushes. He ruffled his blonde hair awkwardly.

"I-I'm fine." Kumiko turned her face away, hoping it was dark enough to hide her tear-streaked face.

"You…don't sound fine." Shuuichi sighed as he took a seat beside Kumiko, leaning forward as he rested his arms on his thighs. He stared straight ahead, sparing Kumiko any embarrassment. He knew she had been crying. He had been watching her for a few minutes before he mustered up the courage to call out to her.

"I said I'm fine!" Kumiko raised her voice, angrier with herself for not being able to stem the flow of tears. Shuuichi's kindness was stifling. It was something that she wanted, but not from him. After a few long minutes, Kumiko felt guilty for lashing out at her friend, wanting to make up for her outburst.

"How did you find me anyway…?"

Shuuichi scratched his chin, blinking as he looked around. "Uh…well, I guess I just had a hunch? I can't really explain it. It's not like there are that many places around here for you to run off to."

"Oh." Kumiko fell silent after this, not knowing what else to say. She knew they were all in a volatile state. Nationals was a big deal for all of them. She was sure that she wasn't the only one wallowing in angsty teenage despair.

"How's Mamiko-san?"

Kumiko let a smile tug at her lips, but it was a bittersweet one. Her voice had a wistful quality to it, bringing the girl into a brief reminiscence. "She came to see me."

Shuuichi smiled, happy that Kumiko was able to see her sister. "That's good. I'm glad she came."

There was silence now, the two teens sitting and ruminating about the day's events, about life, and about their emotions.

Kumiko didn't know what came over her, but she straightened up slightly, shifting over as she leaned on Shuuichi. It was a small amount of physical contact, just their arms touching, but Kumiko felt at ease. It was comforting having another human being with her, especially someone who didn't give her any grief.

Shuuichi tensed up, whipping his head around to stare at the brunette. His eyes widened at the sullen expression on her face and he turned his attention back in front of him. He had no words for his childhood friend. If this were any other situation, the trombonist would have taken the chance to use this atmosphere to tell Kumiko how he felt about her.

However, he knew it was inappropriate. He knew Kumiko was hurting.

There was silence again.

Kumiko seemed small next to the tall boy and her slender frame looked even more fragile as she doubled over. Her shoulders shook with choked sobs and she hugged herself tightly, trying hard to keep from crying out.

Beside her, Shuuichi was at a loss. He was taken aback, wondering what he should do. He wanted to gather the girl up in his arms and hold her close, to tell her that everything was going to be alright.

But he couldn't.

All he could do was awkwardly pat the girl's back, sitting silently as she cried.

Minutes passed until suddenly, the rustling of leaves interrupted the semi-silence.

Shuuichi looked up, squinting as he peered into the shrubbery. "I-Is someone there?"

Kumiko sniffled, wiping her tears again as she looked up to see what Shuuichi noticed. As she sat up, his hand slid down to the small of her back, staying there as it hovered protectively around her.

Footsteps sounded and a figure emerged from the shadows. Illuminated by the moonlight and the distant streetlights, Reina's haggard face came into view.

"Oh, Kousaka." Shuuichi let out a sigh, but his hand lingered.

Kumiko's breath hitched in her throat and she looked down immediately to avoid Reina's eyes. She didn't want to think about the trumpeter, but here she was. Even after a stressful and tiring day, Reina was as beautiful as always, making it damn difficult for Kumiko to stay angry at her.

"What happened? Are you okay, Kumiko?"

Reina took a few steps forward, her brows furrowed in concern.

"D-Don't!"

Kumiko clenched her hands, holding fistfuls of her skirt as she raised her voice. She squeezed her eyes shut. She'd had enough. She couldn't do this anymore. Being in love with Kousaka Reina wasn't something she wanted.

Both Reina and Shuuichi turned to look at Kumiko, shocked at the sudden outburst, at the unbridled hostility the euphonium player showed.

Reina flinched, withdrawing as she eyed the pair, scrutinizing the proximity between them.

"Kumiko, what's wrong?" Reina's voice was small now, timid, and scared to find out what she had done to deserve this treatment.

"Everything." Kumiko replied reflexively without looking up, her jaw tight as she continued to clench her fists to try and control her emotions.

Reina inhaled sharply, approaching Kumiko again, desperate to know if she could do anything for her. "I just want to help…I'm worried about you."

Kumiko scoffed, standing suddenly as she looked up with tears in her eyes. She met Reina's gaze, unwavering as her bottom lip quivered. "You can't help me. It's impossible as long as you're in love with Taki-sensei." Her voice trembled, but her conviction held strong.

Reina was speechless at this, her lips parted to say something, but she couldn't. She knew it would just make things worse. Without another word, in two fluid steps, she closed the distance between her and Kumiko, wrapping the girl in a tight embrace. The trumpeter didn't know what else she could do.

Still sitting on the bench, Shuuichi fidgeted, feeling out of place.

"R-Reina, stop." Kumiko struggled, but the petite girl was stronger than she looked. "Stop it, I don't want this…I-" The brunette stopped midsentence, feeling a suffocating lump of emotion arise in her throat.

"I won't let go, Kumiko. You're too important to me." Reina's words were whispered, grazing the nape of Kumiko's neck. Her voice cracked and she tightened her hold on the taller girl.

Kumiko went limp at the girl's words, relaxing into Reina's embrace reluctantly. Her arms were frozen at her side. She felt numb, unable to process how conflicted she felt.

"It's not fair, Reina." Kumiko's words were muffled into Reina's hair and she held back the sobs that threatened to rip from her throat. She could smell the calming scent of Reina's shampoo, the calming mint and citrus that Kumiko had gotten so accustomed to. She could feel Reina's heart, racing in her chest, wishing that it meant more than it did. "It's not fair…" Kumiko repeated as she reached up, snaking her arms around Reina as she clutched the girl to her desperately. She wished they could stay this way forever, that she could freeze this moment in time and forget about everything else.

"I know, Kumiko. I'm sorry."

Kumiko detached herself from Reina, her amber eyes shining with tears as she looked at the trumpeter, a questioning look in her eyes.

"If I'm so important to you…then why?" Kumiko held tight to Reina's sleeves, desperate to understand the craziness, to understand Reina.

"I care about you deeply, but it's probably not in the way you'd like me to." Reina was apologetic, a knowing look in her eyes.

She knew.

"Reina…" Kumiko bit her lip. "I just want to know how you feel…about me. Just tell me how much I mean to you. I don't care if it's not what I want to hear. I just want to know."

Reina swallowed her anxiety, with an audible gulp.

"Italian Whites."

Kumiko blinked, confused.

Reina stood a bit closer to Kumiko, intertwining their hands together. She tried again.

"Italian Whites. In flower language, they mean, 'I'll always be thinking of you'."

The tears came without any warning, streaming thickly down Kumiko's face. She peered into Reina's eyes, skeptical of the sheer audacity that stared back at her.

"It's true. You're the most important person to me. Even more than Taki-sensei..." Reina's lower lip started to tremble, tears steadily rolling down her cheeks.

"Reina…Reina…Reina…" Kumiko repeated the trumpeter's name like a mantra as she leaned forward, resting her forehead against Reina's as she continued to sob.

They were only inches apart and Reina could feel Kumiko's breath hot on her face. She could see the girl's clenched jaw, and feel the tears mix with hers.

Suddenly, Reina's eyes widened as she felt Kumiko's lips press against hers, desperately and frantically. After a moment of shock, the trumpeter kissed her back.

She knew it wasn't going to fix anything, but Reina loved Kumiko in her own way.

Reina could taste Kumiko's salty tears as they continued to kiss and the trumpeter thought to herself that she would go to the ends of the world to understand the girl's love for her.