Isabelle sat on the sofa alone, she looked about the room full of the people she knew. She could see their stares, there looks of disbelief and horror from what she told them, her eyes drifted to Steve who didn't look that way, he seemed to be proud of her. Only her and Steve knew however the story was so much worse. She could see his sympathetic look from across the way, knowing how hard this was for her. No one had said a thing since she had finished. Not that she really expected them to have comprehended what had really happened. The headache she felt from the tension within and the tightening feeling in her stomach was horrible. It had brought it all back. The pain, the suffering and distress she had been through. She had to tell them the misery she went though, not including the only happiness she felt there by not mentioning her soldier Bucky.

"Well that was." Stark began looking speechless for once.

"Isabelle." Nat stared at her wide eyed. It was the first time Isabelle had seen such a look on her face. It only made her feel worse.

Glancing at her brother who had not spoken, she noticed how pale he looked. She knew a few of the possible 101 thoughts running through his head. She looked to the floor not really wanting to go through many more questions. She had been through enough today, yesterday or the past few years come to think of it. She twisted her fingers within her hand not wanting to think about what had happened. Now after speaking about it, it made it feel so fresh, like her wounds had been torn open once again. She just wanted to leave this in the past where it actually belonged behind a closed door.

After a few minutes of silence, she took a deep breath in knowing the outcome she wanted from her opening up. She looked up gathering the courage to say what she wanted the most.

"So I can help now." Isabelle stared at them, only realizing how this may have helped her cause. Perhaps now she would be able to search for him, her soldier and be reunited. "Can I be part of the team and help."

"Supervised I guess." Clint nodded finally speaking but still not looking at her. "Unless the doctor has anything to add."

"From all the tests I have done, Isabelle would be best suited to be partnered with Steve if she is to be supervised. With their enhancements being similar in nature. They will be able to keep up with each other." Bruce explained calmly. "And they can obviously handle what each other have to throw."

"Captain." Clint looked to Steve. "Are you okay with this."

"I can't see it being a issue." Steve glanced to Isabelle as he agreed, she could see that he was completely fine with it.

"Well we are all agreed." Stark spoke up getting off the chair he was sitting in. "Welcome to the avengers Isabelle though we will have to work on a name for you. Isabelle is just so bland."

"No thanks." Isabelle stood up shaking her head, trying to avoid the stares. "If you will excuse me."

She knew she needed to get away from them all, she headed straight out of the communal area, passing the bar where she secretly picked up some bottles of spirits and headed back to her room. Collapsing in a corner of her room, feeling the tears start again, she grabbed one bottle of booze she had taken from Starks stock. She ran her hands against the cool glass of the bottle, thinking for a moment. She knew this would not solve her problems but she just needed to clear her head right now, forget just for a moment, she was tired feeling this way. Opening the top of it she placed the bottles rim to her lips and started to drink the clear alcohol. She knew this perhaps wasn't the best idea she had but she needed the pain she felt at the moment from talking about it to disappear. Alcohol seemed like the best choice to make that pain go away.

She lay in his arms, feeling his skin against her own. Her eyes were closed as she took in his scent, enjoyed the warmth of his hold. His warm hand gently ran up and down her arm, while his metal one was holding her tightly against him.

"Tell me about your life before here." He said quietly, his breath warm against her neck.

She could feel the frown form on her face, he had never ask such a question before. Neither of them speaking about there life's outside of this world. She thought for a moment what to say. It seemed so long ago that she was part of that life, it wasn't her any more though.

"I have a brother." She replied not really knowing what to say. She didn't want to give too much away getting Clint into any trouble. She didn't know if they knew about her brother being part of a secret organization. If they did perhaps they would target him, perhaps kill her, or use her against him.

"Tell me about him." He muttered.

"He's older." She thought for a moment, working out what could say. "We had a argument before I was taken. I said things that I didn't really mean. He was just trying to protect me like he always did." She felt a tear run down her face remembering what he had said, how he cared. "I know I am never going to see him again."

She felt his arms tighten around her as he forced her to turn and look at him. She felt so ashamed talking about petty feelings, as she closed her eyes not wanting to look at him. What she had been though, what had happened was so much more. Here she was crying about how she missed her brother, it was stupid. She felt him kiss the paths of the tears off her cheek.

"Shhhh." He whispered against her ear. "It will be okay, I promise."

Finally she let out a sob as he held her crying against his shoulder. She let him hold her and comfort her in this moment of need.

"What has she done." She heard a angry voice interrupt her memory, it was Clint. She was suddenly moved onto her side. "She's drunk. You can't get drunk can you captain."

"No but we are not exactly the same. I have seen her get like this once before when SHIELD were helping her memories return." Steve voice joined Clint's, she could hear the concern and pity in Steve's voice. "She left the hospital before any one could stop her, I waited back at the flat and well she stumbled home with a bloke trying to take advantage."

"She did this before and you never said anything." She could hear the rage now from Clint.

"Today was hard on her Clint. This is just the result of what we have put her though. To talk about it doesn't come easily for her. I should have foreseen something like this happening." Steve calmly replied.

"How much did she have." Clint's voice paused. "What 4 bottles of spirits. She could have taken some else God knows what she has been hiding in here." She could hear the panic set in his voice.

"It doesn't look more than just drinking. She will need water and perhaps pain relief from the hang over. If I remember correctly she will be suffering when she wakes." Steve muttered, she could feel herself being moved but not able to really tell how.

"I will go and find Bruce." Clint replied. "Get her to check her over."

She heard a door open and close. Isabelle was barely conscious, she felt Steve haul her up onto her feet dragging her away from her resting spot. She was placed down on a cold floor before she heard water being released. She felt the cold shower water hit her clothed skin. She opened her eyes seeing Steve standing above her his arms crossed. Pushing herself to her unsteady feet she stared at him.

"Seriously Steve." Isabelle pushed her wet hair off her face stumbling slightly.

"Did you take anything else?" Steve asked grabbing her shoulders now getting wet from the shower spray aswell as he stared at her being deadly serious. "Did you take anything else apart from the alcohol."

"No, I just wanted this to go away." Isabelle shook her head running her hand through her wet hair. "I want it all to go away. I lost the baby Steve, I le."

"This, drinking is not going to help." Steve turned the water coming from the shower off. She stood in the cubicle dripping, her clothes were completely soaked. "How can I rely on you to help me with Bucky if your going to pass out drunk when things get hard."

She looked at him, she knew he was right. Tears formed on her wet face, Steve pulled out a towel wrapping her tightly in it as she sobbed. Steve held her against him as she cried, his own clothing getting wet in the process. The memory and talking about what happened it was too much.

"It hurts Steve."

"What does." Steve asked holding her his hand brushing her wet hair off her face gently while rubbing her back comforting her.

"The past." Isabelle muttered into his hold.

"It will get better, we all have things we have to live with but it get easier I promise." Steve sighed his hand cupping her cheek looking at her. "We have to stay strong for those we love ok."

Isabelle nodded knowing exactly what Steve meant by staying strong. The doors opened again, Clint walked in with Bruce who carried a bag. Steve guided her out of the bathroom to face them.

"Capt." Clint looked at her

"Just alcohol." Steve answered calmly still keeping hold of her. "We pushed her to tell us about what happened to us. For her to talk about painful memories. We should have expected consequences from these actions Clint. She doesn't need to talk about it any more, we just need to support her right now, not to give her a hard time."

Isabelle closed her eyes. She appreciated Steve stepping in and covering up for her. Steve slowly sat her down on the sofa in her room, he kept the towel tightly wrapped around her. Bruce did a full check over without asking her too many questions. She remained quiet, her head started to pound, this hadn't been a such good idea after all.

"She will be fine." Bruce said as he stood up. "She will probably have a handover but there is nothing to worry about. Her body is able to cope with the quantity of alcohol she consumed."

"Thanks Bruce." She heard Clint say, Isabelle wrapped the towel around herself not really understanding what all the fuss was over. "Seriously Iz. What is going on."

"You made me relive it." Isabelle mumbled. "You made me go through it all again."

"Iz." Clint looked at her.

"Leave me alone." She turned her back on him.

"Iz." Clint repeated.

"Please just go." She hissed.

Isabelle stumbled back into the bathroom, picking up her PJ's, she slowly and unsteadily started changing. Meanwhile Steve and Clint talking outside, she could hear the worry in Clint's voice.

"What now Cap." Clint asked

"Let her sober up first, its just the booze and pain talking." Steve answered. "I will stay with her tonight, make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. Its just a reaction to her memories, she has been through a lot but she is tougher than we give her credit for."

"You will call if she needs anything." Clint sighed.

"Of course." Steve agreed.

"Thanks Capt."

A door opened and closed, she guessed Clint had gotten the message. Slowly Isabelle unsteadily made her way back into the room, Steve was sitting on the corner of her bed waiting for her. She felt a sudden pang of guilt as she realised she had probably made things worse not better with her brother again. Steve just looked at her before shaking his head.

"Did this help Isabelle."

"I just needed to be free." Isabelle muttered.

"I thought you might have learnt your lesson after last time." Steve replied.

"Well I at least stayed in and got drunk than around strangers who want to take advantage." Isabelle smirked as she collapsed back on her bed to see that Steve was less than impressed with that comment. "I am sorry."

"Get some sleep and we'll talk about it tomorrow." Steve told her as he went to get up off the bed.

"Stay." She mumbled grabbing hold of his arm.

"Iz." Steve shook his head. "I don't think that is a good idea."

"Steve I don't, I am not going to jump you again." Isabelle looked up at him. "I don't see you like that. I just, I don't want to be alone, I don't want any more nightmares."

"Iz I can't stop them from coming back." He answered truthfully.

"I know that, but you can protect me from them." She said calmly. "Please."

She could see the conflict in his face, she pulled the blankets over her laying down, watching him. Slowly he kicked off his shoes laying down beside her but keeping his distance. She rested her head on her pillow closing her eyes relaxing.

"Thank you Steve." She mumbled sleepily.

He was there, standing there in front of her, no one else about, just them out in the open fresh air, he looked exactly the same as she remembered. His blue eyes were fixed on her, his face was stern as he didn't move. She moved forward slowly not wanting to scare him away, she got close enough to touch him when she paused, not wanting to do anything sudden he would react too. Staring at him hopefully, she hoped that he remembered her.

"Isabelle." His smooth voice said.

A huge smile appeared on her face, she flung her arms around his neck as holding onto him. He smelt the same, that musky smell that was only him, her body just moulded itself against him. Her heart swelling just by being back in his arms. She was about to pull back when she felt the pain in her abdomen, stumbling back she saw the dagger in her abdomen, blood saturating her top. She looked up at him horrified, as he stepped closer to her. She tried stepping back but stumbled falling onto her back, she clutched at her abdomen trying to stop the pain and bleeding.

"Please no." She begged looking at him. "I love you."

"Your my mission." He growled pulling out his hand pistol.

Her eyes widened as she looked down at its barrel, waiting for him to pull the trigger, tears flowing down her face as she realised her fate. Bang!

Isabelle went to sit up but found herself in some ones arms, she looked up seeing Steve holding her, he looked absolutely shattered. She pushed him away for a moment, her head pounding. She had no idea what that was, that was no memory she knew that much.

"Memory?" Steve frowned

"No a nightmare." She sighed shaking her head slowly. "I was with him, I had found him and he killed me."

She then remembered that she was in her own room, looking about quickly to see if there was any obvious monitoring devices close by before turning back to Steve panic stricken.

"All recording devices have been disabled, that is why no one was able to monitor you drinking yourself into that state." Steve reassured her.

"Oh." She sighed. "So yeah, it wasn't a memory but a actual nightmare."

She could see Steve close his eyes for a moment as he took a deep breath in. She scooted back in the bed sitting with her back to the wall. She had never had a actual dream like that before, where her mind twisted her own memories to make something worse.

"Isabelle this is a possibility I have been thinking about." Steve glanced to her.

"What?" Isabelle exclaimed then placing a hand on her pounding head.

"What if we can't help him, have you thought of that?" Steve said quietly passing her a bottle of water and some pain killers. "We have to consider that if he is dangerous to the people he knows, he could be a danger to others."

"What are you saying Steve?" She asked as she necked the tablets and water given to her.

"Perhaps we have to be kind and save him in another way." Steve looked at her seriously. "I don't want this to happen, as much as you don't. But what do we do if he is still dangerous, we can't lock him up forever."

"I can't believe we are discussing this." Isabelle pushed herself out of bed getting to her feet. "Steve there is good in him, I know it."

"We have to be realistic Isabelle." Steve shook his head watching her.

"So you're giving up?" Isabelle turned to look at him her hands on her hips.

"No." Steve shook his head. "I just want you to be prepared of all the possibilities. I won't be making that decision easily Isabelle, he is my friend and I just want to do right by him."

"I can't do that Steve, not to him, he saved me from hell." Isabelle looked away from Steve. "He protected me to try and find peace within after all he had done. He didn't want me to suffer like he did with blood on my hands."

"I am not asking you to do anything, If I have to make that call, I will be the one doing anything. I just want you to be ready to have to face that." Steve explained slowly and calmly. "Its been something I have had longer to consider but I don't want to lie to you."

"Steve I couldn't." She sat down beside him on the bed. "However much I may know the reasons why I still couldn't."

Steve pulled her into the hug, she let out a sigh thinking about what Steve had just told her. She knew it wasn't easy for him to even consider it, her soldier had been his friend long before she was even born. He perhaps knew the person her soldier once was and perhaps knew better what that person would want. She only knew her soldier didn't really want to be a asset. Steve held onto her a couple minutes before letting go, she sat up looking at him.

"I better get washed and changed." She sighed. "I feel like crap."

Slowly sitting up she pushed herself out of bed padding her way to her kitchen, strangely she could smell coffee. When she looked up she saw Steve sitting on her sofa reading some folders. Stopping she stared at him not expecting him to still be here. Steve looked up from the folder smiling at her.

"Feeling any better." He asked raising an eyebrow at her.

"Like hell. Please don't say I told you so." Isabelle shook her head moving to the kitchen counter and pouring herself a coffee. "I don't need a lecture about drinking Steve."

"How about a trip first." Steve asked putting his folder down. "Instead."

Isabelle stopped herself taking a sip of the much needed caffeine she needed, she placed the mug down hoping she had heard right. Moving over to the sofa Steve was sitting on she stared at him.

"Trip?" She frowned.

"Well even after last night the team are happy to continue like planned. So I was thinking there is some one I would like you to meet and I may have some leads on Bucky." Steve leant back looking at her. "I will tell the team its a training exercise however instead we will make a start on these leads."

"What leads." Isabelle felt her heart race.

"Nothing directly to him but could be close. There are some ex HYDRA bases I want us to scope before the team goes in."

"Ok, how long."

"Few days. I need to know that your okay Isabelle. I don't need you having a melt down on me while we are on a mission." Steve watched her carefully. "Last night was a one off wasn't it."

"Steve." Isabelle shook her head.

"I need you to be honest Isabelle with me." He persisted

"It was just the, going through it all yesterday Steve. It won't happen again." Isabelle answered looking at him. "I promise."

"Good, you better pack. I want to be away from here by mid day." Steve stood up taking the folder with him.

Isabelle headed back to her room, throwing some clothing into a back pack. She showered and dressed in jeans and a long sleeve loose top. Heading into the main living area she could hear Clint kicking off.

"You can't be serious capt. After last night she needs everyone around her."

"Just a few nights away for basic training, it was agreed that she would join us on missions. I need to be sure she is mission ready and I need to get her away from here to do that."

"But why can't I or any of the others join you." Clint hissed through gritted teeth as Isabelle walked into the room.

"Cos I asked Steve if we could start with just the two of us. I need time away to clear my head and for you all to stop looking at me like I am about to break." Isabelle answered for Steve looking at her brother as she dumped her rucksack on the floor.

Clint looked at her before shaking his head and walking away. She knew he was concerned for her but she needed time away. A chance to clear her head and perhaps to find the person her heart yearned for.

She glanced at Steve who looked at her before picking up her bag and walked away. She followed neither of them saying anything. It wasn't till they were driving out of the building before Steve said.

"Sorry that you had to lie to your brother."

"Its not the first time or the last." Isabelle sighed leaning back in her seat. "He'll get over it. So going to tell me any more about where we are going."