AN: Soooo...I saw this concept from the latest episode of RWBY. Volume 4 Episode 6. And...I felt like writing it as a oneshot.

That's it.

Please Enjoy. I do not own RWBY.

In the ruins of Oniyuri, the ruthless Tyrian attacked Ruby and her friends, Jaune, Nora, and Ren. With his deadly arm blades and oddly scorpion-shaped ponytail he engaged Team RNJR, his unpredictable flurry of attacks keeping the young huntsmen and huntresses off balance.

After leaping off of Nora's Magnhild, the erratic Tyrian somersaulted into a building with the force of a cannonball, only to stop his momentum instantaneously by performing a perfect split to suspend himself between the building's undamaged walls.

With their enemy a good distance away, Team RNJR was given a reprieve to quickly regroup.

Jaune looked up towards the half-destroyed building where the enemy was still suspended. "We're not looking for a fight!"

"Who are you!?" Ren called out, his dual pistols, StormFlower, at the ready.

Tyrian, through the dust cloud of the destroyed building, laughed down at our heroes before leaping down to perform a perfect landing.

"Who I am matters not to you." Tyrian spoke as he pointed to the dark-haired Ren. "Or you." He continued as he pointed to Nora. "Or…" He paused on Jaune, his eyes slowly widening. "Oh. My. Salem."

Jaune raised his shield, expecting the pony-tailed man to strike at any second.

Tyrian crouched low with an excited expression on his face as he pointed to Jaune, or more specifically, what he was wearing. "Is that a Pumpkin Pete's Exclusive Hoodie!?"

"Huh?" Jaune lowered his shield for a second, completely forgetting how Tyrian had just tried to kill them not thirty seconds ago. "Uh…yeah. It is."

Tyrian actually squeaked in delight, clapping his hands together. "Amazing! You know they only made ten of those for the cereal contest! And I am a huge Pumpkin Pete's fan! Can't get enough of that cute little rabbit and his wacky antics."

The rest of Team RNJR shared an awkward look as they watched the once intimidating man gush about a cartoon character aimed for ten-year-olds.

Tyrian actually retracted his arm blades and clasped his hands together as he continued his Pumpkin Pete fueled spiel. "As soon as I heard about the cereal contest and the prized hoodies I knew I had to switch cereals. Fifty box tops don't just mail themselves, am I right?"

He let out a chuckle before adopting an irritated frown. "Of course, mistress wouldn't let me buy the cereal. Said it was asinine and bad for my health. I mean Watts got a new scroll and Hazel got that tanning bed, but the moment I ask for fifty boxes of cereal, I'm suddenly too needy! Ugh! So unfair!"

Jaune actually turned to look at Ren, just to verify that the conversation they were all hearing was actually happening. The green-garbed man simply shrugged in response.

"Um…well it's…nice?" Jaune offered before picking up momentum. "Yeah. It's nice to meet a fellow fan of Pumpkin Pete. I'm happy someone actually appreciates the value of this hoodie."

Ruby shuffled and looked to the side, sure that Jaune's latest jab was meant for her. It wasn't her fault it was a ridiculous hoodie. It had a bunny rabbit for Oum's sake!

"Ooh, nice indeed." Tyrian took a step closer as he eyed the hoodie. "I'll always regret never having the chance to mail in those boxtops—actually, you know what?" Tyrian's eyes lighted up as if he had just conceived a lovely idea. "Do you mind if I have it?"

"What!?" Jaune stepped back as if he had been struck. "Give up my prized hoodie?"

"Yeah, it might be a bit small on me, but I'm sure Cinder could work her sewing magic on it. (She could probably install a tail-hole for me too.) So whaddaya say? Yes? You'll say yes, right?"

"No, I'll say no!" Jaune called back without hesitation.

"Oh, come on!" Tyrian whined, his posture slumping as if he were a puppet with its strings cut. "It's all I've ever wanted."

"No!" Jaune stood his ground. "I put in the effort for those box tops and poured my blood, sweat…and 300 lien into it."

"Pleeease." Tyrian pleaded. "Here. I'll even trade you my badass coat." The ponytailed man quickly shed his coat, holding it out to the blond swordsman.

Jaune crossed his arms defiantly. "Does your badass coat have a bunny rabbit on it?"

"Well…no, but—"

"Then what good is it?" Jaune stuck his nose up in the air and turned away from the badass coat, as if it were an insult to compare it to the hoodie.

Tyrian, realizing his mistake, quickly tossed the badass coat aside. "Come on, what will it take to get that hoodie? I might stop being evil if you give it to me."

"This hoodie is part of my look. I wear it into combat. I would die with this adorable bunny rabbit emblazoned on my chest! I don't care how evil you are, it's my hoodie!"

At this point, the rest of Team RNJR dropped their weapons to their sides. If this strange man-child was somehow lulling them into a false sense of security with his antics…they were ashamed to say it was working.

After Jaune's rejection of his latest offer, Tyrian groaned as if he were in pain. "Pretty pleeeease? I'll be your best bud."

"Ha!" Jaune scoffed. "For your information, Ruby is my best bud. So I don't need any friendship from you."

Tyrian cursed his luck until Ruby tentatively raised her hand. "Um…actually, Weiss is my best bud. Jaune, you and I are more like…regular buds?"

Jaune clutched his chest, looking betrayed. "What?...But…but…but what happened to being socially awkward buds together?"

"Look, I'm sorry Jaune, but you're kind of…boring."

"Oho!" Tyrian called out with an erratic chuckle. "The rose has thorns!"

"You stay out of this!" Jaune called back angrily before turning back to Ruby. "Boring am I? Boring? Ruby, you know how much of an emotional wreck I am after what happened with Pyrrha. How can you hurt me like this when I'm at my lowest?"

"Oh, here we go." Nora rolled her eyes at the mention of Pyrrha. "Pulling out the Pyrrha card again."

"I have every right to pull out the Pyrrha card! She loved me and she died and I couldn't do anything about—"

"Jaune that was several months ago. You gotta move on. I mean, Ren and I were orphans most of our lives. And you know how fun that is? Not. It's not fun in the slightest. But we don't show you our emotional scars so why should you get to?"

"She's right Jaune." Ren supplied sagely. "Nobody wants to hear about your dead girlfriend."

"Wait, wait, wait." Tyrian waved his hands to calm all the incessant squabbling. "Pyrrha…as in Pyrrha Nikos? Winner of the Mistral Regional Tournaments four years in a row…AND, more importantly, a mascot for Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes! And she was your girlfriend!?"

"Girlfriend is stretching it." Nora waved her hand dismissively. "She liked him but he was as dense as a brick wall. They kissed, but they never officially dated. What do you even call that?"

"Stop talking!"

"My goodness!" Tyrian exclaimed. "So not only did you win the hoodie, but you also sort-of dated one of Pumpkin Pete's registered mascots? I feel like that ups the value of the hoodie. Ooooh, I want it all the more now."

"I already told you, no!"

Tyrian let out a weary sigh. "Very well. Then you leave me no other choice." His arm blades extended and he licked his lips menacingly.

Ren and Nora lay defeated on the ground. Tyrian stood over the injured Ruby, his boot pressed firmly into the young huntresses side. His newly revealed scorpion tail poised to sink into the red-themed reaper.

And standing a few feet away, with his arms still crossed, was a stubborn Jaune Arc.

"Give me the hoodie."

"No! I worked hard for it!"

"If you don't give me that hoodie right now, I'll pump this girl up with enough poison to take out an elephant!"

"Jaune, for the love of Oum just give him the hoodie!" Ruby called out as she struggled to breathe under Tyrian's boot.

"Gee, Ruby. If it were to save a best bud, I guess I could give up my prized Pumpkin Pete hoodie." Jaune adopted a mock contemplative expression. "But for just a regular bud…mmm…I'm not too sure."

"I'm not messing around, blondie!" Tyrian flexed his tail, taking a jab an inch away from Ruby's face. "Just give me the hoodie and I'll be on my way."

"You'll just tear a hole in it with that scorpion tail of yours!" Jaune argued back.

"You're worried about the hoodie?" Ruby tried to claw the boot off her side. "He's gonna tear a hole into ME!"

"There won't be any tearing…into the hoodie, I mean." Tyrian clarified to the distraught Ruby, causing her to struggle even more. "I have a friend who can sew a hole into it for my tail. She's done it for me in the past. Your hoodie will be in safe hands."

"It'll be a cold day in hell before I give you this hoodie." Jaune narrowed his eyes challengingly. "So do your worst. Ruby isn't afraid of you."

"Uh, yeah, I sort of, kinda am!" Ruby protested.

"Fine, then!" Tyrian pulled back his tail, ready to inject his deadly poison into the reaper…

Only for his tail to be intercepted by a dark-haired man wielding a large sword.

Qrow Branwen offered a smirk to his beloved niece who was now looking up at her savior with renewed hope and gratitude.

"Hey."

AN: Why did I even write this?