Hey everybody.
I am Uncle WAAAGH!
So this is my new fanfic, Mean and Green.
This is a tie in to one of my previous stories (Kriegcraft), and serves as a prequel
But dont worry. You dont have to read it in order to enjoy Meaner and Greener :)
Anyways, I hope you can enjoy!
(I do not own neither the DC comic universe, or Warhammer 40k. All characters belong to their respective owners)
Koronus Expanse
994.M41
The planet of Heremus. Found and Colonized by the Imperium of Man early in the 39th millennium, it was since abandoned. When a massive ork WAAAGH swept the planet, forces of the Imperial Guard and the Adeptus Astartes, the legendary Space Marines, were sent in to defend the planet from falling into xenos grasp. However, after millions upon millions of casualties, the Imperium decided that if they could not hold the planet, and thus the system at large, then neither could the greenskins. They commenced exterminatus. A fury of weapons so destructive that all life was wiped on Heremus and its moons. No one has visited the system in a millennia, for rumors had spread like wildfire of the ghosts of all of those who had died still linger, waiting for an unfortunate victim to free them of their suffering.
However, very recently, a rather peculiar character moved onto the planet, and called it his home. Hiding from a force that was nearly as destructive as himself. This is his story.
/
A pair of green, sweaty, and notably greasy, hands swept through the rubble, grabbing as many shiny pieces of metal that they could find. Rusty pieces of iron, dirty pieces of gold, small bits of Adamantium, anything was prey to the creatures greedy paws. Satisfied with his catch, he threw the bits of metal into a wagon. They collided with each other, making a horrendous noise. Smiling, the ork grabbed the wagon by its handle, and started to drag it along the cracked rockrete road. Its rusty wheels popped, cracked, and screeched, as the ork dragged the wagon around.
Unkle was having a rather good time. This city was full of shiny parts. Shiny parts that he needed. His blood red eyes scanned the rubble of the city, looking for anything worth nicking. As he kept walking, he heard a small squeak underneath his squig hide boots.
"Wot da?" He mumbled to himself, glancing down at his feet. He lifted one of his boots, to find a small toy. He reached down, and grabbed the toy, looking at it intently. Its cloth skin was hideously disfigured and ripped in several places, and one of its button eyes was ripped right out. The other black button was sewed into the doll's head, though it seemed to have come loose. Small pieces of stuffing were shoved out of the dolls body. Unkle looked at for a few moments, before he put it in his pocket.
"Nibbla is going to luv dis." He said aloud, though he well knew that no one could hear him. This planet was nearly uninhabitable, and was incredibly isolated. Perfect living conditions for an ork like himself. Nibbla was his pet, one that he had for nearly ten years. Nibbla waited for him within the city plaza, where he had landed with his rather damaged spacecraft. He would have to fix that too. He started to whistle a little tune, as he continued to drag his wagon down the road. He found another pile of scrap, and began to fish through it, tossing aside rocks and bones and skulls, eagerly snatching up any pieces of metal or other shiny objects that caught his eye. Finally finished with his work, he took a few steps back, admiring the massive pile of junk that was in the wagon. He grabbed the handle, and began to walk back. On the way, he found a mirror, that was relatively intact. He stopped dragging the wagon, and took the mirror in his hand, and took a good look at himself. He stood nearly six feet tall, even though his current posture was hunched. He wore a patchy, and old camouflaged coat, referring to his previous clan that he grew up with, the Blood Axes. A similarly patchy, raggedy, and old hat sat on his noggin, a hat that he had stolen from a humie commissar before he slit his throat. He also wore dirty, and muddy brown pants, that were also covered with soot. His trusty shoota was wrapped around in chains on his chest, and he always had several clips of home made ammunition with him. After all, he always needed it.
"Quite da handsum bugga aint ya?" Unkle asked himself, flexing one of his arms to show off to himself. He threw the mirror away as far as he could. He stood there, waiting for the glass to break. After a few moments, he heard the distant sound of it breaking, and he smiled slightly, as he began to pull the wagon.
"Littul pleashures." He mumbled to himself, as he turned the corner, heading to the center of the town. After half an hour of walking, he reached the capital building of the city, where his spaceship was lounging about in the plaza. He passed the looted and modified interceptor, as he dragged the wagon up the stairs to the front door.
Unkle opened the door to the dormant capital building, letting sunlight flood the empty interior. The grand hall was dusty and dormant. And abandoned. Unkle noticed the hundreds of skeletons that he hadn't taken the time to see. Many of them were humie skeletons, though some of them were orks. Unkle furrowed his eyebrows at that fact, as he continued to pull the wagon through the lobby. He stopped, taking a quick look around. He cleared the back of his throat, and spat in his hands, covering it with mucus and saliva. He rubbed them together for a while, then cupped it around his mouth, careful not to touch his fangs. They felt sore, after all.
"NIBBLA! I'M HOME!" He shouted aloud. His voice echoed throughout the building, but no one seemed to respond. Unkle took a moment to remember that Nibbla couldn't speak. Sure, he could roar, but he couldn't speak. It was at moments like this, where Unkle simply remembered one thing that he hated about being on the run. He was well, alone.
He turned around, going to the back of the wagon, as he approcoached the five foot pile of twisted and jagged metal scraps. He pushed the back of the wagon upwards, making the contents of the wagon spill all over the pile. Like blood out of a wound, shiny pieces of metal spilled out of the wagon, smashing into the pile. After a couple of seconds, and a stubbed toe, the wagon was empty. He put the wagon down, looking at the pile of metal and scraps. Yep, that was enough for him, he thought. Though he noticed that he didn't really have that much adamantium. Then he heard something. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. Impossibly heavy footsteps could be heard from behind him, as Unkle slowly turned around.
Standing behind him was a monstrous behemoth, nearly twenty feet tall. A glistening bone white carapace, dotted with specks of a purple exoskeleton and five foot claws glistened with mucus and moisture. Needle like teeth greeted him, along with two yellowish green eyes. A massive, five foot hron jutted out of its skull, purple chitin stained with red. It let out a massive roar, a roar so loud that Unkle grabbed his ragged ears, as the scream shattered windows and caused cracks in his goggles. Finally, it was done, as it stood over him, looking at him hungrily. Unkle smiled, looking up at the behemoth.
"Nibbla! Yer hungry aint ya?" He said, making two little finger guns, pointing at the behemoths chest. To respond, it stabbed one of its claws into the stone floor. The granite and stone cracked and broke apart at the pressure, as it ripped its claw out of the ground, revealing the large crater that it had created. Unkle looked at the crater, feeling saliva drip down his neck, and also felt it burn slightly. He rubbed the saliva off of his neck with a rag, and looked back up at Nibbla, and smiled.
"Roight roight. I got sum squig jerky yoo can have, but only, and ONLY, if yer a good Tyranid." Unkle said sternly. Nibbla inclined its head, as if it understood, and walked away. It then curled up onto the ground, several feet away from a dormant fireplace. Nibbla was Unkles pet (and bodyguard, companion, and assistant chef) Hive Tyrant, linch pins of the Tyranids, a universal threat that if not stopped, would consume the galaxy. However, that wasn't Unkles problem. Not anymore, at least. He had found Nibbla when scrounging around in Sub Sector Aurelia, gravely wounded, and near death. After some surgery, force feeding (and nearly losing one of his legs) Nibbla had become his new companion. Perhaps, his only companion. Unkle sighed, turning around, as he looked at the massive pile of junk. He stood there for a few minutes, as with one hand, he idly threw pieces of Squig Jerky to where Nibbla was, who
"Do I want ta make annuva un?" He asked himself quietly. He looked at the pile of junk up and down, really thinking if it was worth putting himself in even more trouble. He shrugged.
"Eh. Fings cant get any wurse, can dey?" He asked himself, as he walked over to the far side of the lobby. He went up to an old desk, grabbing his tool kit, as he walked back to the pile of junk. He took out a green piece of paper, and uncurled it, laying it on the wall. After putting a couple of nails in it, he clapped his hands, and put himself to work.
/
As sunset came, Unkle collapsed to the ground, tired and exhausted. He felt something underneath his butt. Reaching under it with his hand, he pulled out a rusty nail, that's tip was now red.
"Dat explains it." He mumbled, tossing it as far as he could. He slowly pulled himself up, using a pillar as support, as he looked at his master piece. The Master Tellyporta.
The Master Tellyporta was something that even the most established ork 'scientists' and 'engineers' could not dream of. Standing ten feet tall, the generator of the Master Tellyporta required so much power, that it could only be used once before it exploded with the power of several nuclear warheads. However, this flaw Unkle had worked out, so that instead of INSTANTLY exploding, now it took several seconds before such a thing happened. The pad itself, nearly twenty feet wide by ten feet long, was the staging center of where the teleportation actually happened. Nibbla took several steps over to stand by him, leaving a puddle of greenish water and goo. In reality, it was a slightly acidic liquid, but Unkle had learned to not even try and touch that stuff. Burned. He looked over the tellyporta and sighed.
"Yoo kant keep runnin from yer problems. Un day, yer gonna have to face em, and yer gonna have to shank dem…" Unkle mumbled to himself, remembering his mentor's advice. He asked himself a question he really, did not know how to answer. Do you want to keep doing this?
Unkle glanced at the Master Tellyportas remote, a small box with a big, red, shiny, and rather pushable, button. If he pushed it, and he and Nibbla weren't on that pad, they were going to be vaporized, and so were a whole lot of buildings. Though he really didn't care for gothic architecture, he did care about one thing. The past, and that one day, he would have to face what he had done.
However, as a door was slammed open, and bolters were fired, Unkle realised that this day was not today. He ducked into cover, fist sized explosions digging into the floor. Unkle peaked around the pillar he had hid behind, getting a view of the intruders. And his jaw dropped.
The Deathwatch were here. And to an extent, that meant the Inquisition. He would have prefered anything, anything then them. Dark Eldar raiders and pirates. Ork Freebooters. Hell, Necrons, but not the Inquisition. And certainly not the Deathwatch.
The Deathwatch were the humies answer of giving the middle finger to all other non humies. Glistening, armored, and armed black giants seven to eight feet tall, they were the established 'xeno hunters', and dedicated their entire lives to killing non humans. However, as far as he knew, the Deathwatch belonged to the Inquisition, the Ordos Xenos if he was correct. It took them twenty years, but they had caught up to him. And if he was going to die, then he was going to go down in a scrap.
"Nibbla! Kill!" He commanded, as he shoved in a clip of armor piercing boolets. Nibbla screamed, charging through several pillars, making a section of the roof collapse. Stone and granite rained down on the Tyranids exoskeleton. The mumbled high gothic of the space marines were barely heard, as they pointed their rifles at the source of the explosion. But they were too late, as the monstrous Tyranid was amongst them. Nibbla impaled one of the Deathwatch Marines with his massive horn, shaking the power armoured giant around, before he threw the marine across the room, making him slam through a window.
The kill team of Space Marines focused on Nibbla, their bolter rounds pinging and digging into his exoskeleton. Nibbla screeched in anger, as it stomped forward, forcing a space marine back, right into Unkle's view. Unkle peered out of cover, and fired with his shoota. Putting it on full auto, he let out a battle cry of 'Dakka Dakka Dakka!' as he filled one of the Deathwatch space marines with bullets. While normal bullets wouldn't have even scratched the paint off the space marines, his modified Kraken Bolts did the job well, and the bullets punctured the Space Marines chest plate, filling him with more bullet holes than squig cheese. Blood flooded out of the holes, as the body still stood, wobbling slightly. One shot to the head sent it careening to the ground. The body collapsed to the ground, as Nibbla swung his tail like a whip again. He battered several space marines with the swing of his tail, sending them flying. Unkle fired again, forcing one of the space marines to throw down their missile launcher, but one lucky shot slammed into the missile launcher's trigger function. The missile launcher fired, letting out a plume of smoke, as the rokkit slammed into another pillar, making another section of the buildings roof collapse. More killteams could be seen in the distance, rapidly closing. Their must have been three, or four of them. Unkle realised that he couldn't fight here. Because if he did, his arch nemesis would finally have what he came for. And Unkle would do everything in his power to deny him that victory. He made a break for the Tellyporta, and shoved two of his fingers into his mouth, and whistled. The high frequency whistle could barely be heard over the clatter of gunfire, but it was still heard. Nibbla heard the whistle, and whipped its head up, and let out a roar of anger, as it barreled through rubble and space marines alike to reach its master. Unkle fired off a quick burst of his shoota, striking one of the space marines that came through in the lense of their helmet, turning their night black helmet red.
"Welp. Guess were doin dis again." Unkle shouted, as he pressed the buttons remote. A little message came up on the button. 'Have a zoggin good trip!'
The generator of the Master Tellyporta struck the pad with purple and black lightning, silently creating a large rift. Nibbla ran through the rift, and Unkle jumped through as well. It closed behind them, and as they drifted through the world of unconsciousness, Unkle smiled to himself, as he distantly heard the explosion. They couldn't catch him. For now.
/
New Jersey
Present Day
/
Somewhere in the New Jersey countryside, a large, purple and black portal opened. Within the portal, insidious voices could be heard, silently whispering and screaming. The sky had turned a dark and sickly black, along with a blood red tint. Finally, two figures were pushed through. The sky turned back to night, instead of its hellish hue, and the crickets started chirping again, now that they had completely forgotten about what had happened. One of the figures slowly got up, before it threw up all over the ground, covering it with brown and green puke.
Unkle moaned in pain, clutching his stomach. He had nearly forgotten how painful using the Master Tellyporta was. And better yet, it was his prototype version. The first time he had used it, he had his arm stuck in the ground, and thanks to Nibbla's excavation skills (which took a while, because believe it or not, five foot scything talons aren't that good at digging up dirt) he still had his arm attached to his body. He rose himself up, wiping the vomit off of his coat with disdain. He turned around to Nibbla's body, which was curled up on the grass.
"Nibbla! Wake up!" Unkle said, giving Nibbla a good kick. Nibbla's tail whipped around, smacking him. Unkle let out a breath of exasperation, as he was sent flying backwards. He slammed into the ground, the air out of his chest, nearly ten feet away from where he previously stood. Nibbla slowly stood up, letting out a growl. It shook its horn, which was still stained of blood, as if to try and get the blood off.
"Oh dun worry bout that Nibbla. We can get da cleaned up lata." Unkle mumbled, as he looked around. They were on an open grassy field, with a small lamp post far away in sight. He spotted the lamp post and grinned.
"Let's go ova dere." He said, pointing at the lamp post far away. Nibbla glanced at Unkle, and started to slowly prance over in the direction Unkle had pointed out. Its massive hooves left large prints in the ground as it walked, small claws along its ankle digging into the ground to give it support. The two walked slowly to the lamp post, until they finally reached it. Nibbla poked at the lamp post with his scything talon, and the lamp post collapsed, landing on the street. Unkle looked up at Nibbla with scorn on his face.
"Nibbla! Woi da hell did ya do dat?" He demanded. Before he got a response (if any) a light shined on both of them, along with the sound of screeching rubber. They both turned to face the sound, as a vehicle drove past them, slamming into the ruined lamp post. The vehicle bucked with the hit, along with the sound of shattering glass and screams.
"Damn, dat git just got wrecked!" Unkle said, hooting in laughter. Nibbla slowly walked over to the vehicle, poking at it with his talon. Unkle stopped his laughter, coming over to Nibbla's side. Their was a person in the vehicle. A humie. Well, not really. Kind of.
The collision killed the humie. That much was clear. Their head had cracked against the glass pane in front of the car, leaving a splatter of blood and brains on the cracked glass. Nibbla stabbed the body with his scything talon, and dragged it out, where he began to feast.
"NIBBLA!:" Unkle shouted in anger, turning around on his heel.
"How many toimes do I have ta say ta not eat humies! Dere too bony, and barely got any meat on dem!" Unkle pointed out. This did not stop Nibbla, as he continued to chow down on the corpse. Unkle sighed, rubbing his face.
"Foine. Dun take me advoice." He growled, as he turned back to the vehicles wreckage. He kneeled down, and reached inside, and began to paw around for anything really. He grabbed a piece of parchment, and took it out. His arm retracted from the car, and he looked over the paper for a few moments, before he grinned.
"Nibbla! Guess wot? Guess wot I found?" Unkle said in excitement. Nibbla of course did not answer, as it continued to rip the corpse apart. Nearly half of it was gone at this point, only leaving the legs. Nibbla was rather messy too, leaving a bright red patch of blood, along with the occasional splatter of acidic bile
"I got meself a map! So ya know wot dat means? Guess! Come on, I know ya can do it!"
As a response, a great gout of blood spurted out of the corpse, splattering Unkle's face. He groaned in disappointment, wiping the gore off with one hand.
"Dat means we can foind were da zog we are, and den dat means we can get da zog outta dis place." Unkle replied, as he shook his hand of blood. Nibbla seemed to be finished with the corpse, as it hungrily licked its teeth clean of blood and flesh. Unkle came behind Nibbla, and started to climb on its back. Careful not to sit on any of the spikes on its carapace, he sat right on the top of Nibbla's body, a foot above Nibbla's actual head. He grabbed onto Nibbla's spore chimneys, and began to pull in the direction he wanted to go. Nibbla complied, as the hive tyrant began to stomp north. Looking at the map, this would take them to a place called 'Gotham City'
"See Nibbla? Dis is gunna be fun, I'm tellin ya!" Unkle shouted in excitement, as the unlikely partnership walked their path.
/
Outskirts of Gotham City
Morning
The sunsets rays beat hard down Unkles skin, and as he opened his eyes, he was blinded by the light. Losing grip, he let out a shout, as he fell off of Nibbla, and onto the ground.
"Oof!" He mumbled, as he fell to the ground, feeling one of his shoulders pop. He hissed in pain, as he realized he dislocated his arm. He grabbed it, and pushed it back into position, growling in pain.
"Zog dat hurts." he mumbled, as he pulled himself up. Nibbla was watching intently, its greenish yellow eyes scanning him up and down.
"Zog off. Already fed ya." He grumbled, as they continued to walk down the road. After ten minutes of walking, Unkle yawned.
"Nibbla, I'm hungry." He stated, as he rubbed his stomach. He scanned the environment, until he saw something. He grinned in anticipation, as he saw a building called a 'restaurant'. Betty's Breakfast Diner, to be exact, but the word 'Restaurant' was underneath it, so it counted. Restaurants had food, and if not that, humies. Though Unkle personally did not like humie meat, it was better than nothing, as he had already ran out of squig jerky.
"Roight. Ova dere, and SLOWLY dis time. I dun wanna get run ova." Unkle commanded. Nibla obliged, as it pranced forward, leaving its trail of slightly acidic residue.
"Wait, ya know wot? Just run ova dere. I'll katch up!" Unkle shouted. Nibbla then proceeded to charge through the meadows, and soon disappeared from view, as it ran into the forest. Unkle sighed, as he took in the environment around him. The calm green meadows. The soft wind that tickled his ears. The screams of human suffering. The sun that beat on his skin. The chirping of birds in the trees. The sound of glass shattering and people running for their life.
Unkle sighed, and took a deep breath. He smelled flowers, petrol, and blood. He opened his eyes, as he saw a trukk being flipped over, and their occupants being dragged out by a scything then proceeded to butcher the occupants who had tried to hide inside of the trukk.
"NIBBLA!" Unkle screeched, several octaves higher than a normal orks voice, as he ran over, infuriated and enraged.
"I SAID, YA DONT EAT HUMIES! DEYS BAD FOR YOO!" Unkle shouted. Nibbla spared him a glance, but then looked away, as he continued to eat the humie. Unkle sighed, walking past his pet, as he walked through the gaping hole in the building. He looked around. A lot of still corpses, and blood. Everywhere. Unkle sighed. Nibbla was quite the messy eater, and he did have a rather large appetite, possibly to match his size. He then glanced at the tables. Most of them were empty, but as he scanned the tables, he noticed one in particular was covered in full.
"Score." He said, grinning. He ran over to the table, and slid into the bench. He looked at the plates full of food, and smacked his lips. This is when he noticed the humie that was hiding underneath the desk. It was a woman, it seemed. Young, it seemed, though not childish young. Her face was covered in tears, her blonde hair sparkled with ichor. She looked at him in horror, and he sighed.
"Dis yer meal?" He asked. She didn't answer, as she was too busy blubbering about sparing her life and mercy, and all of that boring crap. Unkle sighed.
"Is it Nibbla? Is it da big bad Hoive Tyrant?" He asked, pointing his thumb out the shattered window, where Nibbla was busy stalking around the parking lot, busy looking for any survivors. She still could not answer him. Unkle was starting to get mad.
"Roight lissen, yoo betta start answerin me humie, less I get Nibbla ova ere for a littul snakk, and I dont fink you wuld like dat." Unkle said, threatening her. That seemed to get her attention, and she fearfully nodded her head.
"Gud. Now, is dis yer meal?" He asked. She nodded her head.
"Y-y-y-es, b-b-but you can- can- have it." She mumbled, her speal interrupted with heaving. Unkle raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, i'm hungry, but I aint dat full. If ya want sum, den you can have it. Deres uh… deres a spot for ya to sit." Unkle suggested. The building vibrated, and the girl started crying once again, as Nibbla stomped closer. His heavy breath could be heard from several feet away, and Nibbla lowered his body, in order for his head to see through the window, if not barely.
"Nibbla! Yoove eaten enuff humies! Go in da korner." Unkle commanded sternly, pointing to a small enclave of trees. Nibbla hissed quietly. Unkle squinted harder, till the point where his beady red eyes only became slits. Nibbla finally obeyed, as it stomped away, like a moody grot.
"AND GO WASH YERSELF! YER DIRTY AS HELL!" He shouted, as Nibbla continued to stomp away. Unkle sighed, as the woman slowly crawled out underneath the table, and put herself firmly onto the bench on the opposite side.
"Nids amirite?" He said, chuckling slightly. His chuckle died on dry air, as the girl was in complete shock, and he could tell. The wide eyes, the fact how she hadn't even tried to run yet. Perhaps he needed to calm her down.
"So uh, wots dis?" He asked, pointing at the plate full of food in front of him.
"P-p-pancakes." She stuttered.
"Pankakes?" He asked in confusion, glancing down at the stack of pancakes in front of him. Didn't look like meat at all.
"And wots dat?" he asked, pointing to a glass filled with an orange liquid.
"O-o-range Juice." She mumbled. Eh. He was close enough. He grabbed the cup, and drank it one go. He was disgusted, and threw it out the window, making her twitch.
"Dats da worst beer I eva had!" He barked, before he calmed himself, and sighed. There was a whole lot of better ways to handle this.
"So tell me, wots yer name?" he asked, as he began to poke at the pancakes cautiously with his filthy fingernails.
"D-daisy." She replied. Unkle raised an eyebrow. Certainly not a humie name. Not like any he had ever heard of.
"So uh, Daisy, can ya tell me wot planet weze on?" He asked calmly. He could hear some squealing noise rather far away, but he chose to ignore it. Perhaps it was Nibbla going for a quick snack.
"E-earth." she said. Unkle scratched his chin.
"Earth. Earth. Dat sounds familiar." He mumbled. However, he was interrupted, as red and blue light shone in his eyes. He looked out the window in surprise.
Outside, there were seven to eight trukks, all lined up around the front of the restaurant. Roughly a dozen or more humies were hiding behind the cars, shootas and guns pulled out, and ready to fire.
"FREEZE! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" One of them shouted, their voice amplified by some sort of cone. He glanced back at Daisy, who was completely frozen.
"Say, Daisy, wot would an ork loike me do in a situation loike dis?" He asked, as he slowly reached for his shoota. He undid one of the chain links, and the shoota fell to the bench.
"S-s-s-surrender?" She asked fearfully. Unkle snorted.
"Yeah, but weres da fun in dat?" He asked, as he put the shoota on the window sill. He pulled the trigger, and began to fire. Instantly, one of the humies fell down, a large gaping hole in their forehead. However, the rest of the humies began to open fire. Unkle ducked, feeling a bullet dig in his shoulder. Daisy screamed, falling to the floor, covering her head and crawled into a ball. He put two greasy fingers in his mouth and whistled. The sound was like a banshee's screeching, and in his opinion, was rather obnoxious. But that was the only call Nibbla ever paid attention to. He then rose up, and let out a full burst of fire, using his standard bullets, instead of the armor piercing bullets. The simple barrage of gunfire caused most of the boyz in blue to hide behind the cars.
"DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA!" He shouted, laughing in between, as he continued to pull down the trigger. A carpet of bullet shells gathered at his feet, as most of his shots completely missed, though some did ping and crack at the trukks. Then, the gun clicked. Empty. He glanced down at the gun, and sighed.
"Ya know? At toimes loike dis, I wunda, wut a zoggin wunderful ooniverse dis wuld be if only I had more bullets on me." He said to himself, as he grinned at the boyz in blue, as he dropped the shoota. It clattered to the ground, sending bullet shells rolling away.
"Say lads? Ya know, when I shot yer lad? Dat was just a trick. It was a… a prank!" He shouted, and then laughed, slapping his knee.
"Ya know, a prank! Just an elaborate, silly, littul joke!" He said, as the boyz in blue cautiously came forward, their guns still raised. Then, the ground became to shake. It was only slight, barely noticeable, but a small grin crossed his face.
"But ya know wot dey say bout jokes, roight?" He asked, as the ground continued to shake, and the boyz in blue stopped, looking around in confusion.
"It's always gotta have a 'killa' end." He said, grinning, as Nibbla stormed through the woods, screaming in rage. The boyz in blue shouted in surprise and fear, as they were quickly butchered and ripped apart. And for some reason, far in the distance, he heard a drum. It was barely audible, but he heard it. It sounded like, Badum, Tst.
"Say, Daisy?" He asked, turning around, to see that Daisy was still on the floor, her face streaked with tears.
"Do ya know how to droive a trukk?"
/
By the time they had gotten in the 'car', as it was called, Daisy had calmed down. Somewhat. Though her eyes were slightly red, and she still had a trail of dried tears from each eye, but she was calm. Unkle closed the door, taking off his hat to scratch his head.
"Roight, so uh, yer 'kops' are kumin to find out wot da hell happened, roight?" He asked, glancing back at Daisy. She nodded.
"Kay den." He sighed. He thought about what he was going to say. As far as he knew, he was on a humie planet called earth, and they seemed to severely lack imperial technology. He had heard of feral human planets, those who had not been introduced to the Imperium, but he had never actually been to one. And right now, yet again, he was on the run. First from the Inquisition, then the Deathwatch, then BOTH, and now, he was in trouble with the local law.
That was a trait he seemed to have. To get into a lot of trouble. But now, his escape options were limited. He needed to get off of this planet, before the Inquisition tried to find him again.
"So uh, were we goin?" He asked, glancing back at Daisy. She sighed.
"I'm going home." She stated, as she took out a pair of keys, and shoved into a hole that Unkle could barely see. The car hummed, as it was turned on. The engine let out a roar, before it slowly went down in volume.
"And uh, weres dat?" He asked, glancing out of the car. Nibbla was currently trying to wash himself in the pond by the diner. This didn't really work, as the twenty foot tall hive tyrant tried rolling around in the two or three feet deep pool of water. He smirked slightly.
"Gotham." She replied.
"Ah, dats gud. Dats were I wuz goin." He stated. She sighed, before she turned around to face him. Her soft, amber eyes looked at him with an intensity he had never seen before.
"Listen. Let's have a deal. You and your… PET." She snarled, pointing outside to where Nibbla was now struggling to get back up from the water, though he slipped and tripped, causing a large splash of water to soak the road. She glanced back at him, and gave him a poke on the chest.
"Neither of you kill me, and I won't rat you out to the police. Capiche?" She stated. Unkle thought about this for a few moments. If their was one thing he learned, while working with the Blood Axes, was that you could always make a profit working with a humie. Why stop now?
"Foine. Its a deal." He said, offering his hand. She shook it, before she glanced at her hand, and shook it slightly, sending a few beads of sweat on the seats.
"So what about your… pet?" She asked, just as Nibbla emerged from the woods, slowly prancing to the car. She started to get twitchy.
"Calm down would ya? Nibbla's alroight when ya know him." Unkle said, glancing at Nibbla.
"Aint dat roight Nibbla?" He shouted. Nibbla then let out a low growl, acidic saliva dripping through his teeth, splattering the road.
"Anyways, how are you going to well, get him there? It's not exactly easy to get something like… that… in..." She pointed out. Unkle scratched his chin.
"We'll uh, we'll worry bout that lata." Unkle said, as he took something out his sack. He glanced down at the thing he had taken out. It was the doll that he had found in the ruins of the city. He opened the car door, and stepped out. He walked around the car, and glanced up at Nibbla, who had turned to face him.
"Nibbla, down." He ordered. Nibbla did not respond for a few moments, before he stabbed his massive pincers into the ground, and slowly lowered himself to the ground. Almost like he was bowing, though Nibbla still towered over Unkle. Unkle jumped up, grasping one of Nibbla's horns for leverage, and stabbed the doll through the large horn on Nibblas head.
"Dat shuld do it." He mumbled. He then walked around the car, and went back into his seat, and slammed the door.
"Roight, lets go." He exclaimed.
"Wait, what did you do?" She asked in confusion.
"Gave him a bit of me scent. Nibbla's got a good nose, he does." He replied. She did not reply, as she started to drive away. For the next ten minutes, they were both silent, as they drove down the highway, neither really having anything to say. By Gork, if Unkle had even tried to tell this story to any normal ork, he would have been laughed at, and then gutted.
"So… what are you?" Daisy asked, who had seemed to have been rather calm by now. That was good. However, Unkle was insulted that she had never heard of his kind.
"I'm an ork!" He proclaimed, surprise rather clear in his voice. She raised an eyebrow.
"An orc? What are you from, Lord of the Rings?" She asked, laughing at her own insult.
"Da hell is a 'Lord of da Rings?'... bah, neva moind. Ya really neva heard of an ork?" He asked. She shook her head.
"Nope." She admitted. Unkle sighed, rubbing his face. Orks were basically everywhere, and the fact that she had not even seen an ork, let alone even heard an ork, was rather disturbing.
"Weze orks, got it? And orks is good at two fings… maybe three." He said, as he stuck out his hand, and unrolled his fingers from the balled fist they were previously in.
"Weze good at foightin, winnin, and drinkin. But drinkin is a maybe, cuz da Space Wulves are pretty gud at dat too." Unkle stated, sticking up two and half fingers. She raised an eyebrow.
"So you're an alien?" She asked. Unkle moaned, rubbing his face.
"Course I am, ya git." He mumbled. "Wot did yoo fink I wuz?"
"Mutant? Victim of a horrible genetic disease? Just a freak dressed in green with a robot monster?" She suggested.
"Lemme guess. Dose kind of humies live ere?" He asked. She nodded her head. Unkle sighed.
"Wot did I get meself into…" He mumbled to himself, just barely audible. They were silent for a few moments again.
"So how did you get here? On Earth?" She asked. Unkle rubbed his eyes.
"Masta Tellyporta." he simply said.
"Masta Tellyporta?" She asked, confused.
"Masta Tellyporta. Eva been on a Tellyporta?"
"No."
"Dat explains it. Well, ya see, tellyporta is a really simpul fing really. If I had da parts, I could make un meself, lickity split. But da Masta Tellyporta… dats sumfin different." He replied. When he mentioned that he could build one if he had the parts, a spark erupted in her eyes, that was rather noticeable. Unkle smiled slightly. So she was interested in the Mekanic field too.
"Ya see, normal Tellyportas aint gonna get ya far. Personal Tellyportas are gonna get ya ten ta twenny meters, and Tellyporta pads can get ya from wurld ta wurld." He explained, before he chuckled slightly, his smirk turning into a savage grin.
"But da Masta Tellyporta was sumfin different, ya see. Da design was made boi me boss, Razgriz Wrenchbreaka. Razgriz wuz da oldest Mek I eva knew. He said dat he saw da emperah imself, and boi oh boi, wuz it a wunderful soight, he said. Da Masta Tellyporta could take ya from un side of da galaxee to da uvva." He said, stretching his arms to elaborate, that it was a pretty big distance. She smiled coyly.
"So what happened to him?" She asked. Unkle sighed, his cheerful mood disappearing at the drop of a hat.
"He's gone now." He only said, cutting the conversation. They were silent for a few moments again.
"So how did you well… find your pet?" she asked. Unkle glanced out the car window, checking to see if Nibbla had caught up. Sure, he wasn't exactly the fastest runner, but he did have endurance. However, he could not yet see him.
"Long, LONG storee." He admitted. They were quiet again.
"Never caught your name." She added on. Unkle smiled slightly.
"Name is Skaturd Marlax Ibak Gravecrusha, but ya can kall me Unkle." He replied.
/
Gotham City
Dusk
Unkle took the blanket, and threw it over Nibbla. They had to wait for roughly an hour before Nibbla decided to show up, and it seemed that Nibbla had gotten a bit hungry, due to his bloodspattered mouth and talons. Unkle hoped that he hadn't been eating humies again, but that seemed to be Nibbla's favorite treat.
"This is not going to work. At all." Daisy mumbled, rubbing her face. Unkle sighed.
"Course it will. Its foolproof, kunnin, and we have a backup plan." He stated, as he tightened the strings on the blanket, getting a low hiss from Nibbla, who shifted slightly.
"And that is?"
"If we get caught, we bail, kill anyfing that gets in da way, and liv da rest of our days as weirdboys." Unkle chuckled. She apparently, did not get the joke. He sighed.
"Roight, so where we goin?" He asked, as he finally pulled, completely covering Nibbla with the cover. They walked out of the alleyway, and started to cautiously walk down the city streets. Their weren't many people out, but those that were completely frozen. They looked at the massive, blanket covered tyranid, and thanks to the rather dark fabric, made Nibbla nearly invisible thanks to the rather dark environment.
"Just a few more blocks." Daisy whispered, as Unkle continued to parade Nibbla through.
"Da hell are we goin?" Unkle demanded.
"To my house. Small mansion, parents bought it for me. Now shut up, and walk." She hissed. He obeyed, as they continued to slowly walk forward. Unkle had to keep prodding Nibbla in the back of his monstrous leg to keep his tail curled up, as otherwise, it would have been spotted. For the next few minutes, they awkwardly, cautiously, and carefully shuffled forward. Daisy glanced at the residue that Nibbla had left behind in his wake, that left small scorch marks on the concrete.
"Dat stuff dont go through yer shoes, but dont let it get on yer skin." Unkle said quietly. After another few minutes, they seemed to be almost there. However, they were stopped by a police officer. He tipped his hat to daisy, and glanced at Unkle, frowning, his thick bushy mustache that nearly covered his entire mouth moving with the action.
"GCPD. What's this?" He asked, waving to Nibbla. Nibbla was deathly silent, not even moving. Daisy smiled, laughing awkwardly.
"Were… film students! I'm a makeup artist, and this is my friend… Peter." She said, laughing, throwing an arm over Unkle's shoulder, who let out an awkward chuckle.
"Da zog are you doin?" He whispered quietly.
"Shut up and play along." Daisy hissed back, as she took a few steps back. The Police Officer took a few steps forward, looking Unkle over.
"I must say young lady, that your work is phenomenal!" He said, laughing, as he squinted at Unkle. "Have you ever considered going professional?" To this, Daisy smiled.
"No, not really." She giggled. The Police Officer smirked, before he frowned again, looking back up at Nibbla.
"And what's that supposed to be?" He asked. Unkle gulped. However, Daisy blew some air out of her mouth, still rather calm. She seemed to know what she was doing.
"Well, Peter here comes from a wealthy engineer, and to help with the film, he made us an AWESOME animatronic!" Daisy grinned, before she looked at Unkle.
"Why don't you give him a quick sneak peek?" She asked, though her eyes gave him death glares. Unkle smiled slightly, though he was screaming like an ape on the inside.
"Nibbla, please, stay still." He whispered quietly, as he went to the front of the hive tyrant, and pulled the blanket up, just enough for the police officer to get a glance. The Police Officer crouched down, and took a glance at Nibbla underneath the blanket. He instantly pulled back, giving a whistle.
"Damn, that looks near life like! And that's one nasty looking bugger if I ever saw one." he said, chuckling quietly, before he took a vox from his belt.
"10-24, Assignment complete, just some film students going out to shoot a movie, over." He said aloud, before a grumbled response came in return. He then put the radio away.
"May I have your name?" Daisy asked, smiling. He tipped his peaked hat.
"Officer Johnson Burrow." He happily said, before he looked behind the two.
"What's that?" He asked, pointing to the residue behind the two. They glanced at it, and Daisy smiled.
"That's just the oil! They have to use a special combination to keep this baby running." Daisy said, as she slapped Nibbla's leg. Unkle winced, prepared to see the Hive Tyrant gore the poor humie for even trying to touch it. Instead, Nibbla let out a quiet, barely audible hiss.
"Well, I'll let you two loose this time, though please don't parade this thing out here again, it's causing a public disturbance." Johnson said, tipping his hat once more, as he walked away, whistling. He walked for several meters, before leaping into a police car, that cruised away. Unkle sighed, wiping his brow of sweat.
"Dat… dat wuz close." He said, taking a deep breath of air.
"And I don't want to stick around before more come, so let's go." Daisy mumbled.
After ten more minutes of cautious walking, finally, they had reached the house. Unkle prodded Nibbla once more with his shoe, and another hiss erupted from underneath the sack.
"Here it is." She said aloud, waving to the house in the distance. It technically wasn't in the city, as the house was right on the shore, but it was still close enough. It stood upon a large hill, on the edge of a cliff, looking over the waters below. Unkle took a breather, as he pulled the blanket off of Nibbla. It was starting to dissolve away in patches, the acidic residue beginning to burn away at it. Unkle clapped his hands several times. Nibbla's sinuous tail swung around for a bit, before it sloped itself onto the ground. Unkle ran up Nibblas tail and jumped, snatching one of his spore chimneys. He then pulled himself up, until he sat firmly on the top of its body.
"Tired of walkin." He explained to the stunned Daisy, who shook herself out of it.
"How long have you had it?" She asked warily, as she continued to walk up the path.
"Ten years." He responded. She huffed.
"Ten years huh?" She mumbled. She looked away, as they passed the wooded clearing, and into sight of the mansion.
"Welp. Welcome home." She sighed. Unkle took a long look at the house. Two stories, rather roomy, and rather dark. A medium sized red car sat still in the driveway.
"Dis yer hut?" He asked, as he slid down Nibbla's back, stumbling to the ground. She sighed.
"Yeah. Parents bought it for me." She said.
"Yoo said that already." Unkle pointed out. She sighed.
"Sorry. Never asked for it though. I mean, sure it's nice, and they also do pay the property taxes, but I never really see them anymore." She said, before glancing back at Unkle, who had a confused look on her face.
"They live on the other side of the country." She explained. Unkle nodded slightly.
"Well den. I fink its time dat I have sum fun…" He mumbled to himself, as he rubbed his hands, cackling slightly. Until he found a way off of this rok, he would have to soothe his thirst the only way he knew how…
/
S.T.A.R. Labs, Gotham City
Two weeks after
Midnight
S.T.A.R Labs is a prestigious chain of research facilities, laboratories, and buildings. With highly advanced technology being pumped out of each lab like factories, of course, they had top notch security. With dozens of armed guards, security guards, reinforced bulkheads, top notch surveillance systems and the like, it was nearly impossible for anyone to get close to the laboratory without being spotted, less so if they were trying to break in. However, one certain individual liked to defy the odds.
In the cloak of darkness, right outside the gated entrance, two guards stood outside. They were lightly armed physically, but dozens of security cameras watched their backs. They stood next to each other, when one started to whistle. The guard was whistling to the tune of 'The Boys are back in Town', by Thin Lizzy.
"Could you stop?" The other guard snarled, promptly ending the whistle. He sighed, leaning against the gate, looking at his fingernails. He needed to cut them.
That was the last thought he had ever had, before his throat was slit. The guard gargled on his own blood, before he slumped to his knees, and toppled to the ground. The other guard was about to scream, but a quick shank to the chest stopped him from doing so. A shadowy figure, barely visible, snuck into the small building beside them, and began to poke at the computer. It was locked, and required an eight digit password. One green finger tapped the '1' button on the keyboard eight times, and then pressed enter. A red screen appeared. The figure snarled, and smacked the computer. The screen then turned green, giving a sliding message. 'Access granted.' A long menu then opened up, showing a variety of files and menus. One of them was labeled, 'Surveillance System.'
"Squingo." The figure whispered, as he dragged the mouse to the file, and opened it. A long menu appeared, and after several random clicks, the security cameras around the northern gate stopped functioning, and shut down. The figure grinned wildly, as he stepped outside the building. He stood nearby the bodies of the guards, and whistled loudly. A black shadow erupted from its hiding spot of a dumpster, slowly stomping forward. It then stood over the bodies.
"Get rid of em." The small one ordered. The creature obeyed, by opening its mouth, and puked out a translucent greenish blue fluid. The fluid was dumped all over their bodies, and quickly began dissolving them until their was nothing left but a puddle of green goo. It began to lap it up, as the other figure started working on opening the gate.
Unkle smiled, as he placed several home made explosives on the gate, and began to wire them together. He had found several broken toasters, a part of a gutted microwave, and several plastic forks and straws in the dump today, and he knew exactly what to do with them. It had been two weeks since he had first arrived on Earth, and he decided that the sooner he got off of it, the better. Where else better to go, then a place called S.T.A.R. labs? It had S.T.A.R. in it! It was the perfect choice of where to get some good loot!
However, the place seemed to be more locked down then a Bad Moons teef jar. With guards, cameras, gates, and perhaps turrets, it would have been nearly impossible to get in. Thankfully, he knew what to do after meeting a humie that called himself 'Black Mask'. He had met Black Mask while he was busy scraping through stuff, and it turned out that the stuff belonged to Black Mask. After he and Nibbla were done killing thirty of his boyz, and holding him at gunpoint/talon point, Black Mask had pleaded anything for his life. And all Unkle wanted to know was how to get in.
"Gonna have to call Black Mask, and fank him." He said, grinning, as he primed the explosives. He ran away from the gate, and stopped, standing several meters away from the gate. Nibbla finished lapping up the guards biomass, and followed him, as Unkle squeezed the detonator. The gate was blown open by the explosives, and a red light, followed by a blazing alarm was heard.
"Hm. Looks like dey want fings to go faster." Unkle mumbled, as he and Nibbla barged into the facility. Red makes things go faster, and he assumed that the red light coming from the alarms made him and Nibbla go fast. However, as they ran through the front entrance, bulkheads began to seal, thick metal doors that tried to block their progress.
However, a rather angry twenty foot behemoth that weighed over six tons did not necessarily care for such bulkheads, as it rammed through each and every single one of them. They stopped, as they had entered a long hallway, that was rather begin with. Unkle turned around, noticing the dozens of guards that were coming forward.
"Roight Nibbla, hold the fort. Won't be gone for long." Unkle shouted, as he grabbed his newly made shoota, and shoved in some ammunition, as he went through the hallway, closing the door behind him. He could hear the Hive Tyrants roar of anger and the screaming and gunfire of humies. He smiled.
"Oh Nibbla. Yer so luvable." He mumbled to himself, as he began to stalk through the hallways. He checked each room, beginning by smashing the doors window open, and then pulling it open. To be honest, none of them had anything. Interesting, at least. Each one was full of computers, beakers and other types and forms of scientific equipment, but none of them really interested him.
"Bah. Should just blow dis place ta hell." He growled, nearly half an hour later, as he came through another hallway. He began the now tedious process of checking each and every room again, before in anger, he slammed one of the doors so hard, it partially ripped its hinges. Unkle chuckled, before he shook his head.
"Nah. Nuffin good here." He grumbled, as he started to trace his steps back. Soon, he ended up in the large corridor where he had left Nibbla, but he couldn't find him.
"Where did dat nid go…" He mumbled to himself, as he heard someone groan. It was one of the guards, who was trying to crawl away. One of his legs had been ripped off, small tendrils of muscle and gristle still popping out. Unkle grinned savagely, as he pointed his shoota at the wounded man, and tried to pull the trigger. Tried.
A black metal object whistled past his face, smacking his shoota to the side. Unkle gasped, as the shoota was brutally ripped from his hands, and sent flying to the floor.
"Wot da?" He said in confusion, as he turned around to face the intruder. A black fist smacked right into his jaw, sending him skidding to the ground. Unkle snarled, as he pulled out his slugga and choppa, and fired off a quick potshot at the intruder. It missed. Badly. However, the intended effect had occurred causing the opponent to think twice. Unkle pulled himself up, looking at the humie that dared to whack him. He whistled, letting out an ear piercing pitch, before he looked at the figure.
"Who da hell are yoo?" He demanded. The figure swiped its cape, revealing a masked humie, though his mouth was still visible.
"I'm Batman."