Loud Like Love!

[PROTIP: The real action starts in chapter five. This is a retrospective edit for those of you who don't want the full story, but just the gritty parts. Also this biyatch has a forum now. And are you buying gold yet?]

[Author's Note: This will be my first ever fanfic written for fanfiction dot net, however certainly not my first rodeo. In this story, I will attempt to portray the characters of the Loud family as exact as I can get them to their individual personalities, a true challenge given a huge cast of characters like this, and I want to leave no stone unturned, meaning touch upon all of the characters, but we'll have to see how it goes... I'm exceptionally lazy. This will be an interesting delve into the ideas of Lincoln's relationships with his female siblings, and why they share special ties. Some of the stories will be more in depth, while other characters might get a simple narration. Without further adieu, I give you Loud Like Love!]

Prologue: Old Friends

With the tip of a mug, Lincoln poured the hot liquid down his throat, placing the mug on the end-table beside the large armchair that he rested upon, leaning back into it's soft, musty exterior. For him it held a sense of nostalgia, it had been a decade plus, or so, since he remembered smelling this particular scent, and the man whom sat across from him looked to be far older than the chair's odor indicated. The owner of the home in which he sat was none other than Mister Grouse, their old neighbor from times long gone, only now, he seemed sickly, alone, almost forgotten by his massive family which lived so very far away. Lincoln had been in town for a convention; now, after all these years, he had aspired as a young artist, drawing a webcomic series through highschool which netted him a nice commissioned author's position for a relatively family-friendly comic in a national newspaper which largely featured antics and characters based on the plethora of characters he knew and loved as his very own family.

"Do you like the tea?" came Mister Grouse's shaky voice, and he lifted an equally swaying hand as he pointed - sort of - at the cup sitting beside Lincoln.

"Oh, of course I do," came the reply from the practically-albino young man. "So, Mister Grouse, how long has it been?" he asked, the old man had been quite surprised to see he had just up and shown up on his doorstep not thirty minutes ago or so. To Lincoln, Mister Grouse was definitely on his last legs. The loud, rude, grouchy demeanor was replaced by one of cool, calm acceptance for his surroundings. Needless to say, the Loud House was completely empty of any and all Louds, now; his parents had sold it just last year, now that all of their children had moved out, save Lily. Oddly enough, the last one before the baby of the children to leave had been Lana, following a fit of depression and unenthusiastic tries at her chosen professions, she was probably the one Loud who hadn't had much going for her in the real world.

"Oh, gosh, I-dunno..." he creaked, rubbing the back of his head with a wobbling hand, "maybe... nine years?" he answered, slowly wetting his dry lips, the winter's cold hadn't offered him much in the way of health. But, from what Lincoln could tell, he managed, as he always did.

"Gosh, I didn't think it'd been that long... I moved out only about... six and a half, almost seven years ago? Must've been pretty quiet around here without me, huh?" he joked, obviously, he was probably the quietest of the bunch of eleven. There was Lori's loud phone-gossip, Leni's self-indulgent speculation, Luna's ear-obliterating riffs, Luan's ludicrous laughter, Lynn's "go long!"s, Lucy's ritualistic chants, Lola's constant self-flattery, Lana's use of power tools, Lisa's explosive experiments, and of course, Lily's piercing shrieks. The most Lincoln contributed to the noise was the occasional shout to get everyone to shut up!

"Sorry I didn't manage to see you on holidays," Lincoln regretted, and Mister Grouse smiled, his sagging face holding eyes too gentle for the man he used to be.

"Nonsense. Let me tell you, son, about that Christmas ticket your family got me, so very long ago..." Mister Grouse went on to tell a story of tears and love, his family hadn't seen him in years, and he had managed to simply surprise them, even after telling them he wouldn't be able to make it. According to him, the bus ride had taken thirteen hours, he'd done it on no sleep, and he'd only barely made it in time to watch his family open presents. In fact, he had been the first one, as they opened the door! Lincoln was smiling throughout the story, so very happy that he'd managed to turn an old man's lonely life into something meaningful even if it had only been for one winter.

But Mister Grouse had told him even more.

"It was when I met him, my grand-daughter's fiancé," he said, "a big-wig at one of them new-fangled electrofied corporations online, there..." Lincoln's smile finally brightened to the point his buck teeth were showing.

"He hadn't even known about my trouble, though they talked about me plenty... He offered to do it again, and again... Every year, he started to fly me out there, to see them. All because of you and the Louds."

Lincoln's heart was as warm as the fireplace that crackled ever so gently, the tea in his belly, English black.

"And I'd do it again in a heartbeat, Mister Grouse," he said confidently, flashing him that charming smile he could always manage in times like these.

"And what about you, son?" the geezer questioned, "What all happened to them rowdy bunches of girls you call a family? They disappeared, one by one... 'Til the girl, who used to be so lively and jumpin' in the mud, she was the only one, with that little one, the one so bright and ready for the world... Lily, wasn't it? Ohh, she was a Loud all right." Lincoln smiled at that, he had seen Lily grow up to be the typical youngest child, until he'd moved out, she was spoiled rotten by the parents, always getting away with everything, but at the same time, almost as the rebel of the group, she had her fingers in everything. Lily was beloved by all of the Louds, certainly.

"Tell me about Lana," Grouse pried, and Lincoln nodded. "Well, you see, she wasn't exactly like the rest of us..." As he trailed off, he noticed Mister Grouse become entranced with the tale already, leaning forward as he listened intently...

Chapter One: Lana Loud

For Lincoln, Lana's story all started when they were young, the twins were only six, he was eleven, things were typical around the Loud House, this was just prior to them settling in as a family completely with the new baby and all. Lana had always been peculiar for their parents to be dealing with, while they had expected yet another girl to look after, instead they'd gotten a daddy's girl, a tomboy, somebody even more masculine than Lincoln. She wasn't interested in clothes or makeup or hair, she was more interested in learning how things worked, taking her own path, and wearing whatever she felt like that day. Sometimes, she might wear a dress or something, even if she had jeans on underneath, but there were days she simply threw on some overalls and a shirt and called it fine. Barefoot a lot of the time, Lincoln had always seen her as the most nature-bound Loud. Prone, in her preteens, to taking off into the woods, she never got lost, always a capable survivalist, there were even times when she'd shown back up to the house covered in partially-treated Poison Ivy rashes, and done nothing more than ask Lisa for some ointment before the nonchalance settled in.

And of course, being the observant and inquisitive, overprotective one of the group, Lincoln had always wondered at why she was always one with a penchant for solitude. There were many clues, leading up to him finally understanding, but they weren't exactly obvious until the time came.

When Lana was eight, she'd had her first, best friend. Sure, Lana got along with groups of boys and fit in with them more so than other girls, typically preferring to pick on them, but this time, it had been a bit different. It started with a prank, she had been tasked to take care of the pet iguana for her class, finally, after months of proving she was ready to the teacher, when a new student, a student from out of state, all the way from California showed up, it was almost disastrous. The student, one Fae Garner, had grown up in the tougher suburbs of urban SoCal, and was a bonafide textbook rebel.

Well, Lana had never experienced the kind of humor that Fae could garner, no pun intended, as it was often times more delightfully morbid, akin to her sister Lucy's sense of satisfaction from the grandiose and dark.

The girl had, one day, come to class early. Her parents were busybodies, and rather than pay extra for early morning day-care, they preferred to simply drop her off on campus and leave her to her own devices. Half-way through Lana's care of the somewhat dangerous lizard, Fae had unbeknownst to the Loud girl stolen the creature from it's cage, and replaced it with a rather convincing replica of a singular dead iguana.

If Lana hadn't had Luan around to really drive home the idea of a falsified prank, she probably would've cried a little harder. But Lana was a strong, individual little girl, and she instead vowed to avenge the creature. She had spent the rest of the day, much to her own chagrin and the remorse of the unwitting teacher, in a panicked state of vindictive rage. Unsuspecting as always, she even saved the new kid for last; Lincoln liked to think he'd rubbed off on her for this little bout of innocence. When, finally, she picked to interrogate Fae, the girl had literally laughed so hard she fell from her seat, and upon opening her desk, which had been cleverly cracked with a rubber eraser and filled with habitat materials for the lizard, she spilled the beans on her ploy. The iguana, safe and sound, was curled up inside.

Now, Lincoln had only heard it second-hand from his sisters, but he was fairly certain the iguana was retrieved, stuffed under one red hat, and the desk absolutely flung across the floor and into several other desks, creating an impressive domino effect of papers and pencils.

It had earned them both the principal's walk.

According to Luan, whom heard it from Lynn, whom heard it from an annoyed Lola, the two had eventually got to truly joking with one another, exchanging quips and punches on the arm, until they both arrived at the office, took their individual verbal abuse, and compared results. The result was, of course, two week's detention for both of them. They'd had a merry laugh, and for a time, they became the closest of friends.

When Fae had been at the house, even Luan had to watch out. Recruiting Lana often into her schemes, the unimposing, lean, but short redhead had often times gotten the drop on her, though she always kept it tasteful for the Louds. One of her favorite pranks was a classic in Southern Californian culture; they called it 'antiquing', the act of colliding a massive amount of powdered baking flour into somebody's face. This had the effect of making them look ten or so years older than they truly were, and even Luan had to admit it was hilarious when done correctly. The first victim, of course, had been her. She still had the picture framed on her wall. Lisa was next, the circular glasses were too perfect to ignore.

All in all, not everyone was hit by stacks of baking products when Fae was around, in fact, there was much more to her relationship with Lana than met the eye. Only Lincoln was to find out about the details, one day, as he was on a trip through the woods with Clyde. He ran into them, but, being the sly young boys they were, they had hid, and observed instead.

The two girls were nine, and they'd already been given required reading materials. One of which was a guaranteed classic and on Lincoln and Clyde's personal lists of favorites: The Bridge to Terabithia. From what they could tell, it was this sort of an atmosphere they seemed to be generating. Playing pretend, traipsing the woods, not a wonder why Lana had shown up with plenty of scratches and grass stains. His parents were of course skilled in the treatment of such problems, having had to deal with Lynn's younger years, but to everyone else in the house, it had always been a mystery.

It was a couple years later that Lincoln found out why Lana had trouble enjoying the company of other girls.

Now, this sort of thing wasn't exactly uncommon in Lincoln's world. Luna, by this point, was nearly eighteen, and a fervent bisexual, having embraced in her words the truth of real love and satisfaction as preached by the Beatles ad nauseam, though she never seemed to take to one person for very long. With Lana, it was different. She was utterly attached to Fae, and Fae, to her, they had effectively become closer than just friends. Lucy would later confide in her some dark secrets of nights they had experimented together, she had been Lana's first kiss, it had been very confusing, they hadn't talked to each other for a week before finally their guilt washed over and they were inseparable once more. Lincoln had even been there to offer condolence on a couple occasions when things got a little rough.

It wasn't long after that, though, that Fae's father had been relocated, a high-priority military scientist, and her family, her and her brother, her mother, were forced to go with. Lana was only eleven, and this, he suspected, was similar to when Ronnie Anne had broken up with him after they'd drifted apart when Lincoln became more studious. Ultimately, though, it was different; Ronnie and he had done so mutually, while on the other hand, Lana and Fae had not. In fact, it was mutually opposed. They kept in contact as long as their lives allowed, but eventually, they drifted apart.

The effect had lasted long on his sister, and Lincoln had been there to notice it all. He finished his story by saying that when Lana had finally moved out of his parent's house, it was with a whole new group of highschool friends she'd met, and she had enrolled with them in a technical college. He was sure some day Lisa's coaching would pay off, Lisa had taught electronics to Lana a few years ago, so she would know how to repair the objects of the new age and not just stick to something like plumbing or automobiles her whole life. Ultimately, it seemed to be paying off. She'd met a boy who was in to the technical side of things, like her, they'd hit it off, and now they were dating. She had admitted to Lincoln however that males were not her preference, which was why she'd been so rough on many a girl when they were younger. While they were certainly less rough around the edges, that was exactly why she found this boy so appealing, apparently, his soft, nerdy demeanor was perfect for her dominant and defiant nature. According to her, she got to wear the pants, and he got someone who could protect him from idiot jocks with one hand tied behind her back, so it worked out. Nobody messed with a Lana scorned.

"And that's how she's doing right now," Lincoln finished, sipping his tea again as he watched Mister Grouse closely. The old man seemed to accept Lana's fate, though Lincoln had expected something negative to be said about Lana's apparently focused bisexuality. But nothing came of it. It would seem Mister Grouse wasn't one to cling to the older ideals in today's modern world. He admired that about the man.

"So Lana's moved on, now she's findin' herself, eh?" he quizzed, and Lincoln nodded fervently. It would be a time before the young lady could properly place herself in the world, but he was sure in awhile she'd be all up to par in fixing the most modern of machines. Besides, her boyfriend sounded nice from the emails he'd received.

"So you mentioned Luna's also a bit queer, mmm?" the old man mumbled, and Lincoln bristled slightly, waving a hand. "Let's, uhhm, not get into that one yet. Don't you want to hear about Lana's twin?" he deflected, and Grouse perked up slightly. Well, he figured he'd hear about all of them now, so he nodded.

"How's Lola been all these years...?"