A/N: This is it... the end of the road. thank you so much for every comment and kudos, thank you for reading this.
I'll be resuming my other multichapter, Time Upon Once, in a couple of weeks :)
Week #7 London
The trip to London was a quiet one. Killian had chosen to ride with Tink and Liam separately, sending his apologies beforehand to the rest of the team. There were gloomy faces among most of the crew, the weeks on the road taking a toll on everyone and adding to the dreaded sense of finality. Despite the early hours and crazy days, there had been such camaraderie between the teams that it seemed it was hard for everyone to see the season come to an end. Adding to that was the fact they weren't sure if this would be a one-time thing. They all had hopes the audience would react positively to the new spin on the collaborative show. Tink and Emma thought they had a great show and that their audiences would love it. They all hoped the network would choose to continue with the format in upcoming years, but even if the show was a success, there still could be a million reasons why this might not happen again.
For starters, Emma wasn't sure Killian Jones would ever want to be near her again. And she wasn't sure she could actually go through another eight weeks in close quarters with the man without losing her mind - her sanity, her heart - and making a fool out of herself. She wasn't even sure how she was going to stomach watching the show once it aired, or during editing. The idea of hours spent cooped up in an editing room watching Killian on screen - so close and yet so far away - was ripping her apart. But she was a professional, and she could wait until she reached the confines of her apartment before falling apart in a binge of imported beer and artisan ice cream. Yes, not even in a broken state could she forget what Granny had taught her.
All her gloomy thoughts were pushed aside, though, the moment they made it to the outskirts of London. Aurora started gasping in delight before the bus had even stopped. She hopped off as soon as it had parked and threw herself in the arms of the man who was waiting for her.
"What is Phillip doing here?" Emma asked confused, only to be surprised by Robin hopping off the other bus and embracing a striking, dark-haired woman with a little kid. And the final squeal was from Ashley and Sean, when they spotted Alexandra accompanied by her grandparents and rushed to lift her in their arms.
Emma turned around and was met with Granny's serene smile as she watched everyone. She didn't seem confused or surprised, and suddenly Emma remembered the conversation she had with Killian a few weeks ago.
"This is what Killian and you were planning," she said in awe. Granny tilted her head, smiling with a soft nod of her head.
"Liam was just the first to arrive, but that didn't mean we hadn't planned surprises for all." She smiled as she pulled Emma to her side and they hopped off the bus. "We couldn't have a farewell party without all of them. We knew how much of a sacrifice it was for some of them to be away from their families, and we just..." she trailed off and Emma squeezed her hand.
"You're a good woman, Hannah Lucas," she offered as she rested her head on Granny's shoulder.
"I only wish there were someone waiting for you here, my dear."
"I have you guys. I don't need anyone else." Emma tried to say it with conviction, but the words felt like a lie that not even she believed.
/-/
With everyone's loved ones in town, no collective plans were made for the evening and each group took off on their own. Emma and Granny went shopping for ingredients, and while she always enjoyed spending time with Granny and learning from her, there was still a slight pang of regret. She couldn't keep her mind from drifting to the previous weeks and the afternoons spent with Killian, learning about places and sights and food - and a lot about each other in between. She knew he reached to scratch his ear whenever he was nervous and that his eyebrows had a life of their own. There was a lot he could said with just a slight tilt of his head or a look in his eyes. The man was impossible when it came to coffee. He had wrinkled his nose at every coffee cart they'd passed and only chose to purchase freshly roasted coffee from specific stores. He was methodical in his ingredient purchases, studying each element with scrutiny before pondering his options and choosing one, then moving to the next item on the list and starting the process all over again. He spoke with passion about everything that involved food, able to find richness and greatness even in the most simple things, if they were well done.
Emma was brought back from her thoughts by Granny's voice and when she lifted her head, the other woman's understanding stare made Emma blush. She averted her eyes and made an excuse about the trip taking a toll on her, but Granny's soft voice made Emma fully aware that she hadn't bought it.
Their party of two decided that cooking was simply not an option and after storing the ingredients on the fridge - Granny claiming she'd prep early the next morning - they set out to find a place with some good fish and chips to get into the local spirit. If Emma decided to splurge on one or two beers over her usual self-imposed limit, it had nothing to do with the neatly stacked items she'd spotted in the fridge that had tipped her off to the fact Killian had already prepped everything he needed for the next day.
Emma wasn't necessarily nursing the mother of all hangovers the next morning, but she certainly was a little more on edge than usual. Everyone was happy and cheery, and she didn't exactly hate it, but it was a stark reminder that her life outside the show was simply non-existent. And while it had never bothered her before, it certainly did now.
As her eyes flickered to Killian for the millionth time that morning, she thought perhaps not everyone was happy that day. He seemed content and at ease, but there was something missing in the way he maneuvered around the kitchen with Granny. There was nothing specific lacking, per se. There were the usual movements, and bantering, and teasing. But it seemed different, as if the words were an old coat he just couldn't fit in properly this time around. Nevertheless, the way his arms were kneading the dough, his rolled up sleeves giving view to the muscles in his arms, still made for great television.
She was entertaining those thoughts - and only those thoughts - when a familiar voice purred behind her.
"Oh my god, would you look at that."
Emma knew that voice, knew the overtones in it, along with everything else that usually followed after it. She turned to find none other than Ruby Lucas in all her black, leather leggings and baggy-shirted glory. Ruby's perfectly lined eyes were still fixated on Killian, an eyebrow cocked and biting her lower lip as she admired the man's form. Of course Ruby would make it to the final episode's filming, and of course she would arrive late, ready to steal everyone's thunder.
"Down girl." Emma reached to hug Ruby tightly. "I thought you were batting for the other team," she teased after letting Ruby go and watched her go back to ogling Killian.
"I bat for all teams, Emma, you know that." Ruby smirked, then chanced a last look at Killian and sighed. "But, I'm actually not available at the moment."
Emma chuckled, because of course Ruby wouldn't have broken up with Dorothy without having someone else waiting in the wings.
"Let me guess? New fling?" Emma asked, lifting an eyebrow of her own. The blush that tinted Ruby's cheeks seemed a little odd, but before she could delve into why Ruby was blushing like a teenager, another very familiar voice spoke up behind her and everything fell into place.
"More like an old fling." She knew that strong, smooth voice and lilting accent, the one that had always driven Ruby crazy when she visited the set, anywhere. Emma turned her head to greet the man who was coming their way.
"Graham!" Emma threw herself into the man's arms, squealing in delight. Graham had been the cameraman on Granny's show for years before he got a big chance to become a director for another branch of the network. He now traveled around the world filming wildlife documentaries. He and Emma had shared countless sleepless night back in the day, when she started as a producer, shaping the show into what it was now.
"Hello, darling." He beamed after he had deposited Emma back on the floor and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She flashed him a smile, happy to have her own loved ones here. Granted, they were technically Granny's, but Emma would claim them as her own for the time being. Her smile soon died on her lips, though, as she noticed Killian fixated on them, his jaw clenched and his hand fisted at his side. His eyes met Emma's and he quickly shook his head and turned away from her, shifting back to his cooking. Emma wanted to run to him, to explain that she and Graham went way back, much as he did with Belle or Tink, but she stayed rooted to her spot, unable to move.
"So, Emma is doing the pirate." Ruby clapped her hands in celebration and Graham squinted at her.
"Ruby!" Emma admonished, feeling a blush stain her cheeks. She looked away, searching for anything to focus on but them. Or Killian.
"Well, aren't you?" Ruby tilted her head towards where Killian and Granny were still filming the scene. "Or actually, if you haven't been - why not? Emma, have you seen the man? Not to mention, the things I heard he can do -"
It was too much, she couldn't handle this. Emma knew the things he could do and right then, she couldn't care less because it wasn't about the things he could do in the bedroom - and those had certainly been above her expectations. It had never been about that, and she was only starting to admit that to herself. It had been about all the other things no one knew he could do, the things he'd only done for her.
"I - " Emma started, the weight of the last week and a half threatening to bring her to her knees. "Excuse me," she pleaded as she fought the tears coming to her eyes and escaped to lock herself in a bathroom stall and cry herself out for the second time in less than a week.
But she hadn't gone far when Ruby reached for her with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry. I messed up," she said.
"I'm used to your comments by now." Emma waved her off, trying to downplay everything knowing full well she couldn't blame Ruby for opening up the Pandora's box that was currently her heart.
"I didn't mean that," Ruby said with a small voice that Emma barely recognized. "I mean… about Dorothy and Em… and how I ruined it all." There was such regret in her voice that Emma pushed her tears away from her face and she took Ruby's hands and made her face her.
"Ruby Lucas, you had nothing to do with it. You're entitled to leave a relationship that doesn't make you happy. Em and Zelena would have found another excuse. I know it." She tilted her head to the side, to where Granny and Killian were laughing and cooking with blinding smiles on their faces. "Besides, it wasn't that bad," she acknowledged, the corners of her lips curving into a wicked smile.
It wasn't bad at all.
Ruby's smile mirrored hers. "I heard."
Emma rolled her eyes and swatted Ruby's arm. "That is not what I was referring to." She linked Ruby's arm with hers and started walking towards the filming site, her sadness almost gone as she focused on all the good things that had happened in the last eight weeks. "They were a good crew and the show's been amazing. So, it was blessing in disguise."
Ruby nodded, her eyes scanning the site and focusing on Killian as he moved back and forth on his side of the kitchen with those swashbuckling movements that were going to make the audience swoon left and right. God, he was a natural.
"What about you?" Ruby asked, her head tilting slightly in Killian's direction and Emma's smile faltered.
What about her? What about the things Emma Swan had discovered about herself in the past eight weeks? What about the things she had never dared to want before and now was finding herself craving? What about the fears that had paralyzed her before and now seemed to be crumbling by the minute? What about - what if she took a leap of faith?
She shook her head, banishing the thoughts from her mind. "What about me? Nothing, Red, same as always." She shrugged. "The show finishes shooting this special season. We pack our things and head home. I fly back and my life goes back to normal. The winter special episode is right upon us. I have a show to run."
Emma pronounced the words with finality, but a sigh escaped her lips at the end and threaten to make her fall apart again. But she pulled through, her armor still intact, even though she knew the sight of Killian alone could put it at risk of shattering completely.
/-/
The day went by and filming progressed with Granny and Killian making an atrocious amount of food that they were planning to share with everyone at the wrap party. Behind the scenes, everyone was mingling and exchanging stories of their loved ones. Killian even cocked an eyebrow when a redhead showed up and greeted Eric with a soft peck to his lips. The tips of Eric's ears turned pink and Aurora clapped in delight.
"I suppose that is Ariel?" Emma asked, her eyes meeting Killian's for the first time in hours.
"Aye, the one and the same," Killian confirmed with a soft nod.
"Well, at least Aurora got to help someone successfully find love this time." Emma sighed, and ran a hand through her hair as she gave him a soft smile.
"I guess so," Killian offered, his hands fidgeting with the steaks he was marinating, his eyes avoiding hers. "Eric is a lucky lad."
Emma wanted to say something else, even if she wasn't exactly sure how to say it. There was something that had been lingering since their confrontation the day after her birthday.
"Killian," she called softly, her voice barely a whisper. She waited until he lifted his eyes to meet hers. "I - I don't regret it," she started hesitantly and his eyes narrowed in confusion for a brief moment before he realized what she was saying. "I know I handled it badly and it was really unprofessional, but I don't regret it. I - I'll never regret it." She quickly turned and started to walk away, terrified to see in his reaction something she wasn't ready to face.
/-/
You could count on Granny and Killian for many things, amongst them superb food. The moment Belle yelled the final cut, everyone erupted in cheers and laughs. Will carefully put his camera on the ground and lifted Belle into his arms for a searing kiss. Sean and Ashley were wrapped in bear hug with Alexandra tucked in the middle, and Liam and Tink hadn't actually been apart for the last four hours. Killian turned to Granny and lifted her hand to place a kiss on it.
"Thank you for a wonderful season, milady." He smiled. "I hope we can do it again."
"You did good, boy. In more ways than one."
Emma frowned in confusion. She wasn't sute what Granny meant, but before she could ask, she was caught in a tight embrace between Ashley and Aurora, with Belle and Tink piling on. Whatever it was Granny had meant, Emma was sure it could wait until she let out the breath part of her had been holding for the past eight weeks and joined in the celebration with her friends.
Their good mood lifted their spirits and their wrap up took almost no time, leaving them ready for the celebration. Liam and Eric had scouted a few of the local breweries earlier in the day, and brought back beer for all to share. So they all sat in between the boxes, listening to music, eating Granny's and Killian's food, and enjoying one another's company. The air of camaraderie and unity that had been present throughout the trip seemed only to grow as they shared one last meal together. Emma was hanging out with Aurora, Belle, and Ruby, taking small bites of the food in between fits of laughter at the anecdotes they were sharing.
From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Killian sitting with Tink and Liam, far away from the rest and deep in conversation. Tink seemed to be frazzled, the hair on her bun coming out from different places as she gestured with her hands, and Liam was fidgeting. Emma couldn't see Killian's expression clearly, but his shoulders were tense and his posture seemed defensive. It made her wonder what was happening. Things had been strained between Killian and Tink since she'd found out about Emma helping him prep. In light of Milah's story, Emma now understood why his crew had reacted like they did. However, she'd thought whatever discomfort had been brewing died the moment Emma made a mess of everything. Then the arrival of Liam seemed to put them back on track. But now something was happening, she could feel it, but couldn't really figure out what it was.
"Emma, are you ok?" Ruby asked.
Emma turned her attention away from the scene that was unfolding between the Joneses. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing," she assured Ruby, adding a soft smile for good measure. If Ruby had noticed anything, she chose not to comment. Emma sat there, contemplating the scene unfolding in front of her when she saw Granny motioning her over. "I think Granny needs me. I'll be right back."
Granny was waiting for her with a couple of drinks. She gave Emma one and they clinked glasses.
"To another great season," Emma toasted and took a gulp. The spiced rum was strong, taking her by surprise. "Wow, Killian has rubbed off on you," Emma teased and took a smaller sip.
Granny's cocked an eyebrow at her, making Emma blush, but otherwise didn't comment. Instead she gave a tilt of her head. "I want to thank you, Emma, for everything," Granny said as they put their glasses aside.
"It's my job." Emma shrugged away the compliment but Granny shook her head.
She looked at her with a beaming smile, her voice thick with emotion. "For years you've kept us afloat, both this show and the family we've built within it. You've been helping everyone reach their goals. I've seen you welcome crews, nurture them, and help them move onto bigger adventures, never giving a single thought about what you wanted to do with your own life and the adventures you wanted to have. Emma, my dear, I love you, you were - are - like a second granddaughter to me. I want you to be happy." She took a deep breath, her hands reaching to cup Emma's cheeks. "I love you, but you're fired."
Emma's breath caught in her throat and her eyebrows shot up in surprise as she tried to process the words she'd heard. Granny wouldn't just fire her, not without a reason, but the look in Granny's eyes told her of all the reasons why she was doing it. They were the same reasons Emma spent the last several weeks trying to deny herself. But no one could ever hide anything from Granny. Emma's eyes filled with tears as she rested her forehead on Granny's shoulder.
"Granny," she said, her voice thick with emotion and gratitude.
"Go, my dear. Stop just going through the motions each season. Take a chance and live your life."
/-/
Emma took her time. While Liam was now talking with Will and Belle, Killian and Tink were still buried deep in conversation. There was a soft smile and a tight hug between them before Tink walked away to join Liam. Killian downed his drink and then stood, walking away from the party and back to the shed they had converted into a kitchen for the final episode. He sat on one of the crates and stared off, his eyes lost in the late afternoon sun. Emma took a deep breath and went over to him. She needed to know what he was thinking, despite how scared it left her. She knew she needed to do this. Every single moment of the past eight weeks brought her here, and she found that - finally - there was nowhere else she'd rather be.
"Swan," he called when she was within earshot and she smiled.
She pointed to the crate next to his. "Is this seat taken?" Killian shook his head, motioning for her to join him. She perched herself on the crate, perhaps a little closer to him than needed, but Killian didn't move away. The silence stretched comfortably for a moment and she basked in it before she blurted out, "Granny fired me."
His shocked expression would have been comical if Emma wasn't banking her entire life and - most importantly - her heart on his reaction to the news.
"Surely there's been a mistake," he said after a few moments. "Granny wouldn't -"
She rested her hand on his arm and he quieted, focusing his attention on her hand. "It's ok," Emma whispered. He glanced back up at her and she knew he was trying to read her. She let him, despite how scary it was, and how much she wanted to hide behind her walls. She could feel her instinct pushing her to hide and she knew it would take time respond automatically to situations like this. Emma took a deep breath and made a conscious effort to keep herself open to him, choosing to show her vulnerability. "I mean, spending a decade on the same show, it's a long run for a producer. I suppose it's time for a change."
Her fingers twitched when he rested his hand above hers. "So - what now?" he asked.
"I'm thinking a change of scenery might be good." She tilted her head so she could watch his expression at her next words. "Do you know of any shows here in England that might be in need of a producer?" she ventured. She knew full well it was a long shot, that he'd never leave his family behind, but she had to try.
A small smirk came to his lips and his eyes seemed sparkle with some private amusement. "Funny you should mention this whole thing about producers ending their long runs, Swan, as I seem to find myself in need of a new one."
That caught her attention and it must have been visible on her face because he chuckled. "Tink just quit. Something about having had enough of dealing with me and wanting to go sail the seas for a season with that husband of hers." He sighed deeply. "My own brother stole my producer away from me."
Despite his dramatic sigh, he didn't seem that affected and Emma would have mentioned that, but her eyes had drifted briefly from him to the main party. She could see Tink, Liam, and Granny with their heads together, whispering and stealing glances in their direction.
"Killian," she said slowly and the hand that was beneath his pointed in the direction of the conspiratorial group. His eyes followed her direction and he furrowed his eyebrows.
"Tink quit. And at the same time Granny fired me," Emma said, putting two and two together. "Quite convenient, don't you think?"
Killian's eyes were back on hers, a hint of amusement held in them. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say they are trying to push us together."
And there it was, the elephant in the room they were eager to bring up, but neither sure how. Well, showtime, she thought.
"Do you - do you want to be pushed?" She looked at him, hoping he could see how she felt about it.
"Darling, I'm walking willingly into this." His voice was soft and smooth, and his free hand reached to caress her cheek. His eyes bored into hers with a plea and an offer at the same time as he looked for final confirmation. She leaned further into him, hoping he could catch the hint. He did, his lips curving into a smile before they closed on hers, his kiss sweet and soft as their lips moved together. It ended too soon for Emma's liking, and she exhaled deeply as they slowly pulled apart. She bit her lower lip as she risked a glance at him. He was studying her carefully, as if waiting for her to regret her actions or change her mind. She lifted an eyebrow at him and that was all it took for him to kiss her again. He crashed his lips to hers a little more forcefully this time and tilted her head to deepen the kiss.
They might have stayed like that for minutes or hours, Emma happy to lose herself in his kiss. There was no other place she'd rather be. When they finally pulled apart, he rested his forehead against hers, taking a moment to catch his breath. "Very willingly," he added, nuzzling his nose along hers.
The emotion behind his words brought a lump to her throat. "I'm sorry, Killian. I got scared," she finally said, letting out the words she'd been holding in for more than a week.
His thumb traced her cheek and it grounded her back to the here and now. "I know," he whispered. "Just, don't run away from me - from this - again. We can sort it out, together." His voice was so full of hope that it tugged at her heart.
"You think we can?" she marvelled, wondering how it was he seemed to have more faith in her than she did in herself.
He pulled away to stare at her, his free hand grabbing hers. "Well, for starters, we have two weeks to plan an entire winter special episode."
"Tink didn't even leave plans?"
Killian laughed as the producer in her came out in full force.
"Oh, she did," he reassured her, his hand leaving her cheek to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "But, I thought perhaps it could be something we could do together? "
Well, that sounded wonderful, and she could see where he was going with this.
"We'll need a quiet place - no distractions, away from prying eyes," she stated and her heart did a little jump of joy in the way his eyes twinkled at her with mischief.
"I know just the place."
Emma knew the place too. And she was now free to imagine herself cozied up in that little cottage for a week or two, planning a show, walking by the beach in the chilly autumn air, enjoying small dinners for two as they snuggled into each other. It was everything she'd never dared to allow herself to dream of until this trip, and now she finally had a face - and a body, and a wonderful man - to go along with it. The wonderful man who was looking at her like she was everything Emma never thought she could be for someone.
"It better have good coffee. I do not function without proper coffee," she teased and his answering laugh was a sound she wanted to hear. Always.
"I think I told you before, Swan." He pulled her closer to him. She gave up all pretense of caring what the rest of the party thought and willingly climbed into his lap. "I'm more than willing to provide you with the best coffee you've ever tasted in the mornings." His arms closed on her and she basked in the feeling.
She hummed. "You promised a few more things besides coffee."
His breath tickled her earlobe as his husky whisper sent a shiver down her spine. "And I'm more than happy to deliver them, love."