Who thought I would never update this? I am so SO sorry for the late upload. I had a crazy busy year, and I ignored this fic for other pics and I am so sorry. Anyway, fic uploads from me will be few the coming year because I have exams and stuff coming up. BUT please enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: same as always

27th of December

The entire city was decorated like a winter wonderland, and the skating rink was no exception. The entire rink was decorated with lights, red, green and white, which was accompanied with holly and jingle bells, grazing the rink in random sequence. There was a large Christmas tree towards the end, also decorated with lights and ornaments and the entire place looked like it had come out of one of those by-annual Christmas movies with a by-the-numbers plot. Christmas was the only time he'd allow himself one of those corny chick flicks. Considering how late it was, it didn't surprise him that the person he was looking for was the lone occupant of the rink, skating slowly, almost swaying to the melodies of Christmas music that was blaring from the speakers attached to the street lights near the open air rink. He pulled his jacket closer to him as a cold chill ran through his body and marveled at how she could be here, this late at night. He experimentally put one foot forward on to the ice and almost fell back, as he felt the foot slide forward without his will. Having realized that the sport was not at all as easy as it looked, he opted to hold on to the rails, fingers enclosing against the icy steel, and slowly and unsurely, guide himself towards the middle of the rink.

He noted that his companion was so lost in thought that she surprisingly failed to notice someone else making their way towards her with the greatest difficulty. It was a surprise because on many occasions he had made soft yelps having almost fallen in the ice head first. After managing to make the next few strides with success, a false sense of confidence took him. He felt sure of the 5 minutes of skills that he has gained, skating on the edge of the rink, his hands holding on to the pole for dear life. He confidently let go of the pole, and made it a few small strides towards the other skater, before fumbling with the next step, and falling on his bum with a rather loud thud.

He heard a gasp but was too busy to notice the flock of red hair whip towards his direction as the pain overtook him. Falling on dry ice was no easy feat.

"Jackson? Oh my god, are you okay?" April asked, quickly skating up to him and kneeling besides him. He opens his eyes slowly as the pain changes from a sting to a constant throb.

He wanted to tell her he was just fine, that he was in this position by choice, choosing to admire the beauty of the rink from his place on the ice, but the pain was quite so much that he couldn't even formulate a proper sentence. This wasn't exactly the way he had pictured this going.

"Oh god, I think you've hurt your spine. Let me just ..." He watched her sink down to her knees next to him, slowly lifting his coat and sweater he wore underneath, placing her hand on his lower back, and rubbing the area in an effort to relieve the pain. It begins to work, but mostly because instead of pain he feels the skin where her touch lingers burn, and he feels himself flush from the contact. The way a simple touch could make him react this way was one of the reasons he had come here, among many others.

He softly whimpers when she takes her hand away, sad at the loss of contact.

"Can you get up?" April asks, smiling down at him.

"Maybe in a little while." He replies, because honesty is the only thing that will help him now. He is in too much pain to pretend even for her.

"Okay, then. Let me know when it eases. I'll take you home and rub some pain relief on it." She says, gently sitting down on the icy rink, and stretching her legs in front of her. "What are you doing here anyway? I didn't know you skated."

"I clearly don't." He replies, pointing to his back, eliciting a soft laugh in agreement from her. He smiles in return because her cheeks are flushed from the cold and the exercise, her red hair making an appearance within the hood of her red parka.

They hadn't spoken since two nights ago. He had tried to give her some space, which hadn't been altogether too difficult considering how she ran away from him whenever he turned a corner. Clearly, she wasn't ready to talk. So, he was hoping at least she'd listen, and then maybe talk after that. This whole thing would be really awkward if she didn't.

"So is sneaking around at 12 am to learn ice skating by yourself a common occurrence or ?" She asks, mockery evident in her face. He laughs along because he realises how funny this must look like to her. She's the only one he'd let get away with constant jabs towards him.

"Very funny, Kepner. I was looking for you, actually. You haven't been easy to find." He says.

She looks a little guilty at that. She opens her mouth as if to say something, and then closes it again. After a while, she looks up at him, the apology already evident in her face before she's even said it.

"I'm sorry. I just … had no idea what to say after … all that."

He nods his head, completely understanding where she's coming from. She wasn't mad at him, merely confused at the situation. A sentiment he could definitely relate to. Before he can reply, she interrupts him.

"Wait … how did you know I was here ? I didn't tell anyone." She looks at him, a little confused. He chuckles softly, because it's so easy sometimes for her to forget just how much they know each other. A year apart doesn't change the history they have behind them.

"Unless you've forgotten, you and I have known each other for a very long time now." He smirks at her, and watches her blush, "Remember when we had that stupid fight about how I don't wash the dishes in the sink?"

"You're so bad at that. Honestly, Jackson it takes all of what two sec-" She starts to complain, and he rolls his eyes at how she'd make it a point to yell at him for his somewhat messy habits during this. Although in all fairness, she had no idea what was coming.

"Anyway," He interrupts her this time, his tone clearly indicating to her that he wasn't getting into that argument at this moment, "You ran off to god knows where and I stayed up until 1 am worried to death something bad would happen. So when you came back, we agreed that-"

"No matter how mad we are we would tell each other where we're running off to." She finishes his sentence, suddenly recollecting the memory, "I remember!"

"You told me how this place helps you think and Steven the security guy opens it for you." He says. He's both proud and sad that she's so happy that he remembers minor details like this. It makes him sad because she's so used to getting drowned out with the noise, used to people ignoring her ramblings, dismissing them as "annoying". She's used to speaking words that fall short of reaching someone. He sees she's grateful, and he knows that he's the first person for her who has taken the time to listen. But what she may not know is that she is that for him too. Mara, or any of the girlfriends he had before April would listen to him, but they would never register things. They would nod, and give their opinion but he could feel their exhaustion with him after a while. April listened for hours on end, constantly taking notes of his conversation in her head, registering every little detail for later use. The gifts were proof of that.

"Alright so … did you come here because I ignored you these days? I mean, you could have just called me, you know. It would've saved you a trip." She smiles.

"Well that is one reason, but … well …" He wasn't exactly sure how he was going to go about this, but considering everything, he hadn't had time to prepare for this moment. A decision, he now realized, was less than wise. He thought it would just be wiser if he got straight to the point. He had wasted enough time, he didn't need to waste more.

"Here." He reached into his pocket, took out a few papers rolled into one, and handed it over to April.

She took it from him, seemingly a little unsure of what exactly she was expected to do with it.

"Oh, open it." He instructed.

He watched her open the papers, her fingers smoothing the creases, and eyes roaming over the print. He watched her flip through the papers, her forehead creased, deep in concentration. She finally looked up.

"You bought a house?" She asks, holding the paper with a printed picture of a beautiful kitchen pantry.

"I did." He replied, reaching to her pile and pulling up a paper with a picture of the front view of a large, and yet refined, suburbian home, "It's in Mercer Island. It's a neighbourhood kind of place. You know, those places where they have neighbourhood luncheons and kids play with their neighbours, but there's enough privacy because high fences make good neighours and all that. There's this really big, massive garden, and a huge pool. There's even a basketball court."

He hands her each print from the roll which matches the description of the house, watching her take in everything in a mix of awe and puzzlement.

"There are 5 bedrooms and 6 baths, and it's surprisingly really close to the hospital. Also-"

"Oh, wow. It looks like a … really big house. Kind of uneccessary for .. just you." She cuts him off midsentence and looks up at him. He can see her trying to figure why he would need a house with so much space, "I … um, I thought you broke up with Mara. Did you … get back together? Is that why?"

He laughs involuntarily because he can't believe she would actually think he'd do all of this for any other girl. He had meant it when he had said that if ever he wanted more, it would be with her and only her.

"No, of course not" He says, although he remain vague as to the rest if the details, "Anyway, I was going to tell you about how it's close to this really good private school, where they make kids equal parts smart and entitled, but don't worry too much. I went to one of those and I think I turned out pretty okay. Oh, and … it even has … a fireplace."

He smirks at her, waving the gorgeous stone fireplace in front of her face. She hold her hand out and grabs it from him, taking a while to study the picture.

"I'm so confused. I … why did you buy … good private schools ? Jackson, um … fireplace." She mutters to herself mostly, occasionally shaking her head and pulling on the edges of her red curls that have peaked through her parka.

He remains quiet, basking in the cool air, listening to old carol's blast through the speaker, setting then perfect mood for a Christmas night. The only sound apart from the music is the occasional rustling of papers and the soft whispers of April's self debate. He wants this part sink in before he moves on to the next.

"Jackson ?" She finally says out loud, and he can hear the need for her for him to clarify things out.

Here we go, he thinks.

"No. See ... um ... Well ..." He's struggling to formulate the right words that will either break or make his life, so it's almost expected that he'd be nervous.

April raises an eyebrow, indicating her impatience with his stammering.

"See ... About a week ago, we started this Secret Santa thing. I don't know if you remember," He jokes, hoping it'll soften the impact of what he will reveal next. She laughs, nodding her head. "It was so much fun, right? And the best part was I was my best friend's Secret Santa. Minimum effort into knowing what to get her, so that was a plus."

April laughs out loud, shoving me with her arm. Although she and I both knew that that wasn't true. I hadn't put so much thought into gifts in a while.

"Anyway, well it turns out that ... She was my secret Santa too. The thing is ... It made me realise that ... She knows me better than any other person in the world. And ... She cares, a lot more than she probably should. I appreciate that too. And ... You see ... The whole point of this secret Santa thing was to ... was to appreciate the people in your life, right? And I do, I appreciate her so much. But ... that was the point. The point wasn't, however ... It wasn't ..." He found it that as sure as he felt when he walked in to the rink about what he was going to say to her, he could no longer muster up that same level of confidence. She looked at him expectantly, unsure of where he was going with this.

It's not that he didn't want to, it's that he was also just figuring it out. He was just coming to the realissation that maybe it wasn't about getting married, but who you got married to that made the difference. He was still terrified, but maybe everyone is a little bit, maybe all it takes is a little faith and he knew his girl had enough to make up for both of them.

"The point was not ... to realize that maybe you being best friends isn't enough. Maybe it will never be enough. Not when you know you're meant to be so much more and the only thing holding you back is this stupid thing called fear." He said simply, not yet making eye contact with her, although he could feel how he had rendered her speechless.

"Jackson …" She began, her voice almost a whisper.

"I got you that 4th gift since I think it's pretty established that you won fair and square." He says, the nervous knot in his stomach growing by the second.

He slides his hand into his jacket pocket, and pulls out a small velvet box. He slowly turned his face to look at her. She looked back at him, her hands covering her mouth, her eyes wide. If he wasn't so nervous he might have even found it funny, considering how cartoon-like she looked.

"I bought that house, because I want to spend every single day of the rest of my life with you. I want to raise kids in that house with you, and grow old in it with you. It's all I ever wanted, April. I was just stupid, and scared and I let that control me. I'm so sorry," He smiles at her genuinely, and isn't surprised to see her eyes well up with tears. She's always been a crier. "So, here I am, doing something, I probably should have done a long time ago."

He brings his fingers up to the box, opens the box, inside which was a gorgeous ring.

He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts as focused on her, staring in to her beautiful hazel eyes and the doubt went away, he felt focused, certain of what he was about to say next.

"April Kepner, will you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife?"

Eyes wide, she remained silent.

"Please say something." He said, quietly, getting more nervous the more time passed by.

April blinked, and his heart hammered in his chest, as she seems to gather her thoughts. She exhaled a shaky breath, and looked at him, her eyes practically brimming with glee.

"No."

Jackson almost didn't hear what she said, his heart beating so loud in his ears, but when he did register it, the shock came in slow, and then all at once.

"No?"

She was rejecting him. It didn't make sense. She told him she loved him, and the only thing missing was a ring. The ring he was giving her. It didn't make sense.

"You don't-you don't want to marry me anymore? April, I-I don't understand. Did I do something wro-"

He was a stammering mess, but it couldn't be helped. This was supposed to end with him getting the girl back.

"I do want to marry you Jackson. Of course I do. It's all I wanted from our relationship." April says, pulling on her coat sleeves.

"Then why are you-"

"I want to marry you, but you don't want to marry me." She shrugs.

"April, I bought you a house, I got you a ring. I am asking you to marry me. Which part of this makes you think I don't want to marry you?" Jackson said, sounding a tad bit hysterical.

"The part where I know you better than you know yourself." She says, sighing, "You don't want to marry me, Jackson. You're marrying me, because I want to marry you, and you… think you have no other option."

His mouth opens and closes without any sound coming out for some time. She wasn't wrong, so he couldn't deny it. He can't just get over every single issue he has had with marriage over night. But he was willing to try… for April.

He had lost her. The realisation was too much to bear.

"So you don't want to be with me?" He asked, sounding heartbroken.

"What? I never said that?" April almost laughed.

Jackson stayed quiet for some time before laughing in frustration, "I'm so confused."

"Of course, I want to be with you. I want to move in to this house with you, and get that dog you want, and even have kids who we will send to those stupid expensive private schools you love," She smiles brightly, and he can't help but reciprocate, "And then, if one day you wake up, and you realise you want to marry me, not for me, but for you, then you can ask me again, and I will say yes. Until then…"

She let her sentence trail off, and pulled her parka top down. He watched as she reached behind her neck and slowly take off the necklace he had gifted her. April took the ring from the box and slipped it into the chain, before refastening it on her neck.

"I will marry you, Jackson if… you're ever ready"

"Are you sure? This is what you wanted, April. You don't have to sacrifice your dreams for me."

She nods and takes his wrist, softly placing a kiss on the inside of his palm.

"Some sacrifices aren't even sacrifices, because they are so worth it."

He stares at the way the diamond shines in a kaleidoscope of colours in the brightly lit rink, and realises he has never felt as happy as he does now.

"When." He says, and she looks at him, confused, "Not if I'm ready. When I'm ready."

She nods, and everything is quiet for a second, and then she laughs, out of nowhere, a full belly laugh. He responds laughing just as hard, because the whole thing was absolutely hilarious. This was supposed to be a game, a stupid, childish game. It wasn't supposed to lead to them finding each other, all over again, realising that maybe they've been idiots to even imagine that they belonged with anyone other than each other.

"This is crazy." She says finally, tears still streaming down her face from all the laughing. He nods along, agreeing that this was in fact the craziest thing to ever happen to them.

He looked over at her and he couldn't resist it anymore. He had to, he had been waiting since yesterday to do what he was about to do. He leaned over, pulling her hood down, and tucking her unruly hair behind her ears. He softly caressed her cheek, brushing his fingers over the soft blush that had grazed her face. He then leaned over, closing the distance and slowly captured her lips in his. Kissing April was fireworks and more. It felt perfect, it felt right.

His hand snaked across her waist and he pulled her onto him, eliciting a loud shriek from her. He smiled into the kiss, never breaking contact and laid down on the icy floor, pulling April on top of his body. He realised that they'd probably have to leave soon to avoid catching hypothermia but right now, this moment, felt too good to break.

He whimpered at the loss of contact when April pulled away, looking questioning up at her. She propped herself by pressing her hands on his chest, looking down at face, lips swollen and cheeks flushed. Now from the kiss more so than the cold.

"I ... um ... I love you… God, I love you." She says, stammering softly, and biting her lower lip. He smirks back at her.

"I would certainly hope so." He quips, making her laugh and shake her head at his confidence. She leans back down to capture her lips, as the song changes to "All I Want For Christmas Is You" and he can't marvel at how appropriate it is.

He was never one for Christmas miracles.

Well, until now.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

I would ask for reviews, but my atrocious uploading schedule does not deem me worthy of them. (but let me know what you thought anyway hahahaha)