I had to disappear. I apologize gravely. Hope you enjoy, hope you will smile, and hope that none of us cry and that all of you know you're loved by mua~!

(I do apologize for reverting back to my old style of writing. I am just writing, I'll try to get back to using less 'and's and 'moment's and yeahhh)

Also note that this will be edited a few times in the next few days

~||_X_||~

Shizuo woke up nearly the same time as Izaya.

His arms wrapped tightly around the flea, his heart beating against the soft flesh of the raven's chest.

Tender breaths, long, even a comfort after the scare last night. A reminder that his love was right there. There in his very arms, held tight.

He dared not move, not wanting to wake Izaya at all. He wanted him to rest.

However, Izaya was a light sleeper and knew Shizuo was awake by the sound of his breath changing.

He opened his eyes, frowning as his head was stuck in Shizuo's armpit, and shifted his leg off of Shizuo's waist.

"Goodmorning…"

It was morning, though not particularly a good one, thought Izaya, pushing away from the warmth. He sniffled, smelling the after morning sex scent.

It wasn't a good smell. And it wasn't really a welcomed one. They blushed inside to realize they had given in. Izaya, his face flushed, from being so ravenous in craving for Shizuo. Shizuo, his heart pounding for he did not realize his own weakness.

"I'm going to shower…"

Much to Shizuo's annoyance, he had been about to open his mouth to speak about the night, Izaya acted like it never happened.

Izaya inside the bathroom turned on the shower. He leaned into the sink and sobbed, his skin hot, his heart breaking again.

'Things were going so well...' He thought, rubbing his eyes to stem more tears, he stuck a fist into his mouth to stop the louder wails. 'He's going to leave me again... after all of that he's still going to leave...'

An hour later he came out fully dressed. Reached into his coat pocket for his rings but his blood ran cold. He almost didn't mention them, to his shock Shizuo did first.

"Hotel." He said before Izaya could move again," You left everything there?"

"Obviously. I didn't leave your side after you were hurt an-" He cursed, suddenly understanding the urge Shizuo sometimes had to punch a wall. "The box is still there."

"You fucking idiot!"

"You were hurt!"

Shizuo stood, he was still naked, and smelled of must. The scratches from Izaya were across his chest, and a dark hickey marred over his heart.

"Do not leave without me." He said, pulling his boxes and pants on. He left them unbuckled, Izaya's eyes could hardly look away from the V and faint glory trail, his dick was still very hard.

"Dont," Shizuo, though annoyed, smirked," Get any ideas." He walked into the bathrom leaving the raven to blush and eye roll.

Izaya sat on the bed, thinking deeply. His mind wandered to years ago, to the first time he and Shizuo fucked. It was inside of a small yellow shower, Shizuo was drunk, they were both 17. It had been after a death.

He felt a familiar regret, one that said it was his fault. He knew it already. Knew their friend was dead because of him, yet in his old mindset, to the informant he was, friendship wasn't an intimate thing. It was something he once could toss away without a second thought. Dwelling now, he realized again how demented he had been.

Heartless, cold, he only came to comfort Shizuo because that was what had been expected of him as his boyfriend. He didn't want to. It killed him to see his love so upset. To see him broken and crying. He realized then that he wasn't going to cry for anyone but Shizuo. He recalled the funeral, Shinra crying, the family being distraught.

It helped him be a better informant to be convinced that friends were something disposable. He made the mistake of once thinking his heart was too.

"You really were a messed up child..." He said to the empty room. The sound of the shower shutting off caused him to stand and walk to the bedroom door. He didn't think seeing the naked beast would not do him much good at the moment. It make him think too much of how badly his ass hurt. How his hips ached, and how empty he now felt inside.

He cursed in his head, devilish images and wants. He craved for Shizuo's hands on him, and as gay as it was, he needed the cock in his ass again.

~|_X_|~

"Remember that time at the mall?" Asked Shizuo, sitting next to his raven on a mostly full train, he wished to have a cigarette between his teeth. "Dotachin had gotten on Akihiko's back and-"

"And that lady said 'now that's some brotherly love right there'." Suppressing giggles, Izaya responded to the question," And he just slowed, and said to her, 'Nahh...we're just faaags.'"

They laughed softly, trying not to draw too much attention.

Shinra had scolded Shizuo for nearly wearing his bartending outfit, and he now donned a pink sweater, black scarf grey beanie, and pale jeans. Izaya wore all black, a red scarf around his neck matching his gloves, his favorite coat left in the fake doctor's apartment.

"What about when Kururi had that paper ninja star?" Shizuo recalled, "And he asked her if she made it, she shook her head and he said-"

"'Mmmhmmm...you're lying to mee.'" Izaya mimicked his monotonous voice. The scene played in his mind as if it happened yesterday, Shizuo recalled it like it was that very morning.

"She looked so shocked!"

"Ahh, I haven't thought about him in ages." Lied Izaya, he had thought on the other that morning despite himself, "He was 6'7", 190lbs."

"Yup, and you even admitted back then he was smarter."

Izaya rolled his eyes," Okay, maybe I did…."

They fell into silence broken only by other soft voices, and the wheels of the train cackling against joints. It past a large grouping of high rises, and dove underground again giving way to darkness.

Shizuo asked, "Where would he be now if here were alive?"

"Most likely still working for the train network. And he'd call us total idiots for this morning."

"Yeah…" He felt guilty again. It was a fluke, a mistake. Something that should never had happened,and this was the first time Izaya even mentioned it. Shizuo felt guilty. he was sure Izaya did not want to bring it up. He was more then sure that the raven wanted to pretend it neevr happend, yet it bothered Shizuo beyond words.

Izaya was aching. He realized, Izaya was hungry for his love.

It was requited.

Shizuo longed inside, as a sailor's wife longs for a calmer sea, yearning to take Izaya's hand, take his tears and his confinement. To lock it all away where no one else could touch, where only he could help him.

The night, the incubus did not let them confess.

He knew if Izaya had said I love you, his grip would have become iron.

The fear was still there. Shizuo sighed, he itched for a smoke. The pink sweater was annoying him, the scarf was starting to be restricting.

"Our stop…"

The world came back into view, he had been deep in thought, and Shizuo stood following Izaya out.

They kept their distance, pulling up scarves to protect from biting air.

The shooting scene was roped off, being swept for evidence that they knew would not be found.

Shizuo nudged Izaya gently, and pointed with his chin to the right.

Akabayashi's men were there.

Izaya took out his phone, didn't turn it on, just looked at the reflection to see who they were. After a swift moment he clicked the side button bringing up the clock and lock screen. 12:02pm. A photo of Shizuo sleeping his background.

"Really?"

"What? So I have a soft side for slumbering beasts."

The vein flashed in Shizuo's forehead, but he did not find anything to be mad about for once. Instead, he popped out his box of ciggs, and lit up uncovering his mouth allowing the winter to touch his stubble.

They reached the hotel unfollowed, scuffled off their shoes on the matt, and Shizuo entered the room first.

He scanned everything, walking slow. Hardly scraping his heels on the carpet, "Who's here?"

Izaya drew his knife, Shizuo's instincts were much sharper.

"I already had a bad fucking night, come out and maybe I-"

"Shi-!"

Two girls jumped on Izaya from behind. His footing faltered under the suddenness, and all three went down in the small entre.

Shizuo growled, "What are you two doing here?"

"Home unsafe." The green jacketed one spoke from the wrangled informant.

"We always know where Iza-Nii is." Mairu stood up fist, proud of her attack on her brother. She had on a red jacket with green gloves, mirroring her sister's red.

"How?" He did not care about their stalking, however if they could find Izaya, anyone could.

"Literally," Mairu held up her iphone, "the track contacts app."

"You had on." The quiet twin spoke, standing with a little help from Izaya.

Ruffled, unhappy about being taken while on guard by his sisters of all people, he popped his shoulder back into place (he had fallen very hard on it).

"I always have it off."

"Nah-uh~." Disagreed Mairu, she let herself past Shizuo, flopped on the bed knocking the briefcase off the other side with a thud. "It's on, and we followed it. Some creep followed us from karate home. Kururi saved me, got him with a single shot… Though he really did sort of just watched us from afar."

"We came after." Jibbed the other.

"Uh-uh," Nodding now Mairu looked worried, "We saw a dragon tattoo on his neck and figured he was from your end of the city. Sooo we decided to find you and ask you to keep your shit out of ours."

"Did they get into the house?"

Mairu shrugged, "Maybe, we didn't try to go inside."

Izaya sighed, he sat on the black chair next to the windows, the blinds still shut. Shizuo let Kururi join her twin, then settled for leaning against the wall. He was very bothered by the news.

"Okay…"

"Troubled Iza-nii?" Kururi's soft voice trembled, she was tense after the run in.

"Unfortunately." He said, "I will try to get things out of your way. Just don't use the house for now." Shizuo looked at him, asking with eyes what Izaya was planning to do with his sisters. "You two can't stay with us."

"Why not?"

"Because it is too dangerous to be around me right now. You guys took took big a gamble in coming here."

"Iza-nii," Kururi spoke up, "protected us."

Izaya felt a pang, he remembered being younger. Their parents out, him watching his little sisters play. How he'd toy with them by telling them they share a soul, or that they were the same person. He never did anything truly to put them in danger, even signing them up for karate to protect them from the work he did. It was something even in his prime that he did without thinking too much. Send people out of his sister's paths, check up on them by strutting around their district. Hell, he even got them into his old highschool to keep better tabs on them.

The best big brother he definitely wasn't, but a caring one he had always been.

"Just for today?" Asked Mairu.

He looked to Shizuo, "No... Not even for today. Mairu, Kururi... People are out to kill me."

"That's not unusual." She said rolling her eyes.

"Yeah," He couldn't help a small smirk, but seriousness told the twins this was different. "This time it's difficult. I have a lot of people who want to kill me. They will be coming after you two as well in order to get to me. I'm going to have to ask the both of you to hide, hide for as long as you can. Change your hair, names, and location as often as you can and keep out of Ikebukuro, Shinjuku and surrounding areas."

"Move across Tokyo?"

"Yes." He answered Kururi, and stood up, moving to go kneel in front of the twins. "Do not let anyone separate you two, and do not come looking for me again."

Shizuo watched the flea give Mairu a wad of cash, he watched as the sibblings hugged, and sighed sadly when Izaya showed them to the door.

He felt awful. His brother was someone very special, and if he had to send him away when he was begging for help, Shizuo knew he wasn't strong enough to.

"What now?"

"Get our stuff and go..." Izaya said softly, he was a little teary from seeing his sisters. They had a much better relationship these days.

He grabbed his rings out of the trash can and the box, Shizuo got the laptop and case.

An hour later they were at a new hotel, shedding off their winter layers, and flopping on a bed that was more comfortable.

"I saw the message from Mikado." Said Izaya, still shaken as he still was upset over his sisters. "Midoriyama Waka… He was referring to the Inagawa-Kai in Minato. A syndicate that controls many escort companies for tourists and locals."

"Alright…"

"We have to get there and find their main active location." Seeing Shizuo nod, Izaya continued hanging up their jackets, scarves and putting away their gloves with the boc hidden in them. "I will have to go through my contacts for information see if there's anything that will narrow the search."

"I'll check out Minato after you're done."

"Shizuo," Musical, rich with what was undoubted love," thank you."

Shizuo felt unexpected wetness in his eyes. He hid it by standing to go shower, "Gotta warm up more." He said, ignoring the look of confusion from Izaya. He entered the bathroom, threw on the shower and cried into his palms.

His name. Just hearing his name from Izaya, with such love and tenderness brought the monster agony. He made a mistake, he understood that now. He made a horrible mistake.

"Fuck... Izaya, I love you." He said into the mirror. "I love you... but cannot... can't..."

Outside the door the raven had heard, his heart was throbbing. Fear crept up his arms, neck, back and into his ribs. He felt cold on his back, his hands began to shake.

"I'm sorry..." He whimpered, covering his eyes in his hand, lips quivering. "I'm so sorry..."

This pain was beyond them both.

~|_X_|~

Red: I will post prolly in two weeks. I apologize again for an unplanned hiatus. To be honest I couldn't write anything for five weeks.

My boyfriends best friend, a friend of mine, died very suddenly.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed! I would love for everyone to comment~~~! (It makes me liiiivvveee) And I respond to each comment!

Please follow, like, sub, make brownies, and so on~!

Until next time~