梅がえにきゐるうぐひすはるかけてなけどもいまだ雪はふりつつ

To the plum tree's branches

The warbler has come.

That spring is here

He sings, although

Still the snow is falling.

Ironically, for me, the beginning of the new year is more… of… not an end, per say… that's bad luck… but… let's just say a lot of things changed right after.

For one, my parents are coming home! We had left in… the middle of jūgatsu, October, about. The trip was supposed to take anywhere from a bit over five weeks to maybe seven. They were supposed to arrive late November, stay about four to six weeks, then leave and arrive late February.

So just two months, and then I'm going to see Okaa-san and Otou-san!

For another… I finally found out who my kyōfu is.

And I'm going to stay with him for the two months or so.

…

I guess it's good that we had the months to acclimate, and that I figured out how to substitute pillows and a blanket cocoon for Itachi.

…

Moving on.

Yes, he's a he. And he's also a shinobi. A pretty good one, actually. And… here's when it gets embarrassing, because… it turns out I actually know him. Better than I thought, actually.

It's the friend of Okaa-san, the one with the long, silky hair and smell like bitter, flowery not-tea and nice voice, the one who I thought could be a girl or a boy. The one who gifted me the colorful pillow with the bean bags inside (that I sometimes used to practice my aim), the set of wooden kunai and shuriken that my parents had mostly confiscated (which I liked to use to practice handling the actual kunai I'd gotten, due to the decreased risk of injury and the lighter weight), and the nice doll that was actually probably getting dusty in the cabinet in my room.

...it's also the very nice person who gave me multiple books, already took care of me once before, and has a snake Summon named Kiyohime.

Yeah.

I guess that right after a kidnapping involving a dead person, and then a truly catastrophic funeral, was maybe not the best time to initiate conversation, and I'm mostly annoyed at myself for not figuring it out.

It was… rather awkward waiting in the Sandaime's office, dozing off, waking up just enough for my mind to partially-recognize the feel and smell of that mass of dark hair, but and then starting a conversation while half-asleep… and then waking up fully half-way through, and then having to explain my surprise.

...yeah. It was really awkward.

I hadn't really prepared for… the change-of-caretaker thing. And… I'm honestly not sure how to go about negotiating things like curfew, bedtime, supervision, etc. What do people normally do? (What a toddler would normally do is, at this point, irrelevant, as I've long since given up on trying to keep that standard. Thankfully, the detached nature of my parents' choice of guardian allows me the freedom to indulge some of my more… peculiar tendencies.)

Though, to be honest, I'm actually grateful that I got Orochimaru-san as my kyōfu. He actually realizes that I have a brain.

So, in short order, we've negotiated a set of… guidelines. And they're quite interesting, not necessarily in the content, but… in showing more of who Orochimaru-san is.

I will be staying with Orochimaru-san at his family home. (Because his apartment is more for storage, work, and convenience and not particularly suited for multiple people to live in at one time.)

I will keep Kiyohime-san with me at all times while outside the house, and preferably within the house, but that's not required. There is no set curfew or bedtime, necessarily, but breakfast will be a half a koku after sunrise, lunch will be at midday, and dinner will be half a koku after sunset. If I miss any meals, there will be leftovers in the fridge and various snacks in the pantry. If I choose to eat outside, Orochimaru-san keeps some spare ryō in a jar on the shoe cabinet. If that is not enough, I am also allowed to ask for extra money, provided it is within a reasonable range and is for a sensible purpose.

I am allowed to call him Orochimaru-ojisan, but I am under no obligation to.

There are no limits on what I may say or ask, provided that I am polite.

Any… well, if I do anything meriting… punishment… that will be discussed at a later date. (Neither of us really wanted to think too deeply on this one.)

I am responsible for keeping my room tidy. I will put my dirty laundry in a hamper by the entrance of my room. Laundry will be washed at least once a week, and… while I'm not technically required to help out with that (or any other extra chores), help would be appreciated. (Plus, it's rude not to, so I definitely will, but I appreciate him not making it a requirement.)

Orochimaru-san has stuff to do during the daytime, but he will make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and eat those meals in the house. If I need him while he is working, I am to ask Kiyohime-san. His genin team has passed the exams to become chūnin a few months ago, so he has some free time, but he still has responsibilities, such as for the Research Division.

If I need help locating anything, I am to ask Kiyohime-san.

I am strongly recommended to listen to Kiyohime-san, but that's not really a rule. (Apparently, Kiyohime-san likes asking for food a lot, and I am strongly recommended not to listen to her at those times.)

…

Is that all?

Oh, and… after I mentioned some cases in which I probably can't keep Kiyohime-san too close by, such as while training with Shisui or Itachi or Kagami-jiisan… Orochimaru-san's going to teach me! I mean, he looked a bit annoyed and muttered a lot about the dangers of slapdash or incomplete education and reckless prodigy-jōnin who really shouldn't be allowed to influence youth, and then decided that he would take over most of my education in those matters.

All I know is that I'm super excited to learn from him.

But first, there are other things to do. Like, for example, Sarutobi-ojiisama has a grandson! Orochimaru-san took me to visit, at the invitation of Sarutobi-sama, and… his eldest son is named Kazuma, as in in, meaning "true harmony." And Asuma's name means "true tomorrow" (明日真). I know. I asked. And now Konohamaru, literally being named after Konohagakure? Someone needs to get this guy a retirement, because I think he's become a bit to focused on… making sure everything goes well and stuff.

Konohamaru was born the day right before my birthday, on the thirtieth. And he's tiny and pink and squishy, but also cute. In a way. And he actually makes me miss my littlest brother Before. He was also born December 30th.

And that makes me realize… he's going to be an absolute brat. I can just see it. But it's not without reason. Maybe I can change that a little? Because I know for a fact that I'm not going to be sucking up to a baby. Also, despite the fact that I really don't like spending extended periods of time with children… maybe I can visit sometimes? Sandaime-ojiisama seems to like the idea, so…

...I honestly don't know. All I know is that this insufferable infant's already made a mess (of my life, emotions, and plans), within the first minutes of me meeting him.

…

And now he's started crying, which means it's time for me to beg a hasty retreat.

After that it's Shino's birthday, which means procuring a gift and bringing that (along with the jar of baby kikaichū which I'm still not sure about), to the restaurant with the private room and the scenic view where we'll be eating lunch.

All of the foods are pretty mild, which is what Shino likes, but I've found that a lot of Aburame are like that. There's lots of Shino's favorites, like wild grass salad and winter melon soup, and Torune-san's also there. I hadn't known that he was a bit like… Shino's adoptive brother, since Shibi-sama took him in when his father, Shikuro Aburame, died while he was still young.

It's really cool how poisonous his insects are, though, and I'm practically itching to know why.

I also took the opportunity to thank Shino and Aburame-sama for the books they gave me as a birthday present, and expressed my awe over the spider-silk ribbon.

Apparently, Aburame-sama actually didn't know, and he also praised Shino over his improving chakra control. It turns out that Torune-san was the one who helped Shino figure out how to, essentially, weave cloth.

Later, after eating, when Torune-san and Shino and I went out to play, I took out the jar of kikaichū, and I asked Shino about it.

Apparently, newly-hatched kikaichū have only two links— they instinctively know their parents and the hive from which they were born, and they recognize the person who first fed them chakra. They can also learn to recognize other people through chakra.

Torune-san was quite surprised about what Shino did… and so was I, when I understood the ramifications. Apparently, it was as if he adopted me into the clan.

…

Yeah. It turns out that there's maybe a precedent for Aburame doing that for their genin teammates or eventual partners, but… it's rare for it to happen this young.

Torune-san helped Shino and I figure out a way for me to… work with the kikaichū, since I wasn't quite up to the Aburame tradition of letting the kikaichū live inside my body, but neither did I feel quite up to returning the kikaichū, either, since I thought it would be… rude or a bit mean or maybe insensitive or maybe like I'm saying that Shino doesn't mean as much to me as I apparently do to him.

I don't know. Sometime along those lines.

But we quickly found maybe-possible substitutes, under the condition that Shino would actually tell Aburame-sama about the entire thing later.

We managed to figure out that the kikaichū would be happy with slightly damp pockets of soil and leaves in this… well, essentially, this bamboo cup, with a cloth lid (and a strap that can go over my shoulder)… that I can carry around without attracting too much attention, and Torune-san helped us… renovate… the little glass container with the air holes in the lid to make it more friendly for kikaichū, and gave me care instructions on how to feed them (such as making sure that my chakra is calm and neutral before pushing it out a little and letting the kikaichū eat it, preferably in my hand). He also lectured Shino on talking to him before doing possibly-reckless things in the future, and told him to make sure to communicate with the kikaichū at least once a week.

But that shouldn't be too hard, since I can just carry them in that pocket and walk over to the compound once or twice a week.

So, now that that's done and over with… time to see what Orochimaru-san's got planned in terms of teaching me! I mean, based on what he commented, he probably has some ideas, and he's a super-smart and rather capable jōnin (and that's probably an understatement) with students that he has taught previously, so… I'm excited.

I mean, it's not like he can be worse than Shisui, right?

Sweet kami, he's worse than Shisui.

But it's not in things like… trying to get me to make fireballs and ninjutsu before teaching me the hand-seals. No. It's a lot worse.

Because he's actually thought about this before, and he's got a ridiculous number of scrolls and notebooks filled to the absolute brim with plans and theories… and he seems even more motivated than Shisui was to teach me. According to him... the Academy has become pretty sucky. Plus, Shisui's got missions and stuff, you know?

…

Orochimaru-san has a lot of time.

…

It was at that moment that I realized I may have bitten off more than I can chew; apparently I'm now a Sannin's guinea pig.

You see, Orochimaru-san's goal was to create… in essence, the shinobi equivalent of a noble, or… or a Renaissance man, I suppose.

He wanted to discover how best to create the basis for a well-rounded shinobi, as efficiently as possible without interfering with things like physical growth.

And this means that he decides to micromanage absolutely everything. It's not in a bad way! He's smart enough to realize that cultivating genuine interest and passion and intrinsic motivation is the most successful in the long run, as well as that children occasionally do need breaks.

But… for example, he's seen the book Shisui gave me on nutrition, turned his nose up at it (apparently, it's not quite detailed enough or age-appropriate for four-year-olds), and presented me with a meal plan for the next week, from how much water I should try to drink to what snacks I am to be allowed, as well as how much to eat and when. It's not that restrictive or anything, more of a "don't eat too much before doing heavy exercise" and "make sure you don't skip any meals, either. Food will fuel your training."

He also gave me a crash-course on nutrition, and… it was very thorough. Sufficed to say, I now know the vocabulary for things Iike… protein, lipids, carbohydrates, minerals, vitamins, etc.

Orochimaru-san also checked about what I'm interested in… and he practically beamed when I couldn't pick anything and told him, "...everything, I guess."

And so… I now have a rather comprehensive, relatively straight-forward plan. Everything's in small blocks, as measured by an hourglass Orochimaru-san pulled of out seemingly nowhere, which seems to measure a bit under half an hour, about a quarter-koku.

Mind you, the time measurements are basically approximate only, and are prone to change, depending on… circumstances.

But basically, the expected schedule is as follows:

Wake up half a koku before sunrise.

Get dressed/ready in the span of about one block of time

The next three blocks are for exercise and/or taijutsu.

Breakfast is the block that starts a half-koku after sunrise

The next four blocks are for weapons practice.

Snack block is the block that ends two koku after sunrise

The four blocks after that are then for studying and doing, essentially, book work.

Lunch (and a break) takes up two blocks starting at noon.

The four blocks after that may be used for napping or studying.

The next two blocks will for studying or weapons practice.

The three following blocks will be for taijutsu.

Dinner is the block starting around sunset

The next two blocks are for studying.

Go to sleep by about a koku after sunset.

…

Pretty straightforward, right? Simple, easy, familiar, perfect for a training montage or something…

Except training montages never actually manage to happen for me.

Don't get me wrong— the first day was great. I have very good beginners' luck. We covered everything, I got everything…

And it's on the second day that things really started to slowly collapse, and by a week… and then, several weeks… well… I'm rather less enthusiastic.

Because math. By now, I have nightmares of counting rods and abacuses and grids on cloth on tables. And inference and reading-between-the-lines are seriously annoying. I mean, I used to like history. I still sometimes do. But when Orochimaru-san wants me to pick out inaccuracies and bias and carefully-avoided topics… deciphering propaganda and understanding lies by not looking for outright lies, but who or what is carefully not mentioned is probably useful, but not easy. Memorizing parts of the body and the terms for it was hard enough Before, but with kanji? It's an absolute nightmare. Even taijutsu… it's not hard, per se, but my muscles hurt and I'm even more sore (and in places I didn't realize I could be sore), which slows me down, and I usually end up practically falling asleep in the bathtub.

And weapons training, especially throwing weapons, is possibly the most frustrating things on the planet. It's basically hours of doing the same thing over and over and over again, except the results end up all over the place. It's absolutely infuriating, and more than once, I've simply dropped… sorry, meticulously retrieved, cleaned, and put away my weapons, and then moved onto stretching in an effort to not throw a tantrum. I am four. It is well within my rights to throw a tantrum… but… that sets bad precedents and so I can't. No matter how much I want to.

I hug Kiyohime-neechan and take a few deep breaths and let the pain of stretching and the steady pulse of glowing chakra ground me… and then go back.

But sometimes, even stretching hurts. Yeah, there's not the sharp pain of tearing muscles that haven't warmed up properly… but sometimes it's hard to breathe and it hurts because of how long you have to hold it and you want to cry, but it's necessary and important and so you grit your teeth and try to breathe and then get up and do it all over again. That's when it's useful to have someone like Orochimaru-san or even Kiyohime-san, because they'll help make sure that, like, your legs are straight and you're stretching for long enough. But then, the next day? When your muscles are sore and it aches to move? You have to make yourself warm up again, even if you need Kiyohime-san to chase you or practically pull you along, and then you repeat until, one day, it doesn't hurt as much, and then you need to make the stretches more difficult.

And so, some days, when things get especially frustrating and I'm staring at information I should know, or when the words just blur out and I end up staring at the same page for most of a block, or when I don't see any improvement and I'm ready to scream… I ditch. I go find Kagami-jiisan, and sometimes Shisui and Itachi, and just lie in the sun and focus on my breathing and my heart-rate and the sounds around me of birds or wind or leaves and turn that focus inward, to the glowing rivers of chakra that pulse and spin and flow, and turn that outward.

Shisui explains the basics of chakra natures, and lets me start on those exercises when I bug him.

The Five Basic Natures (五大基本性質, Godai Kihon Seishitsu) are the five elemental chakra natures, which are the foundation of all elemental ninjutsu.

Fire (火, Hi) is strong against Wind but weak against Water.

Wind (風, Kaze) is strong against Lightning but weak against Fire.

Lightning (雷, Kaminari) is strong against Earth but weak against Wind.

Earth (土, Tsuchi) is strong against Water but weak against Lightning.

Water (水, Mizu) is strong against Fire but weak against Earth.

Me? I'm… well, it's never too accurate for young children, but I have an affinity for fire… and water, which according to Shisui, is rather interesting. I'm not too surprised, though. Before, my mother had said… well, I'm not really sure, but in Chinese belief, every child is born with various affinities that define their… personality or something. I don't know. But most people get around three, or maybe four. It's rare for someone to get more or less than that. According to my mother… I was fire and water, which promised rather… temperamental results.

I know I shouldn't be disappointed, but… is it wrong to say I kinda am?

The Uchiha know fire, so I start with that— I start with meditating in the sun and trying to burn dry leaves or as is a bit more practical, thin pieces of paper. I think it's like… pushing out a cloud of chakra, which serves a bit like the fuel, then giving it this sharp jerk, as if… striking a match or something. But then it's hard to control, and… I don't think it's the best way. When Shisui does it… it's as if he just… heats up his chakra or something, and it burns the moment he pushes it out. I'm trying to figure out how to do that.

Water… Shisui doesn't know much about that, but he finds a book in the library, and apparently I'm supposed to meditate under a waterfall, and then practice pulling water out of stuff. Like… a pond, or a lake, or a stream, or a river, or a waterfall, or the air. And eventually, I should be able to get water out of chakra.

…

I don't like meditating under a waterfall. I can't control fire. And moving water is like trying to scoop up a goldfish with a rice-paper paddle… with already-existing holes. No jerks, no sudden movement, be slow, but not too slow… it gets frustrating at times. And I need to literally put my hands in the water to get a chance at moving it.

But seriously, at this rate… I'm going to need any opponent to sit down and wait for me to get any jutsu ready.

The taijutsu is, ironically, one of the easier parts. Orochimaru-san thinks that the Academy's style is too easy, and teaches me the style that he's learned in the main Fire Temple (which seems really similar to what I knew about… that one thing for Chinese monks or something. Shaolin? Kung fu?).

I start off learning the basic skills, which include stamina, flexibility, and balance, which improve the body abilities in doing martial maneuvers and set a good base for further improvement. Flexibility and balance skills are known as "childish skills," and they've been classified into 18 postures that I'm currently learning.

Then, I'll graduate into the power skills, which include two types of meditation, internal (stationary) and external (dynamic), the latter of which includes stuff like… the four-part exercise, something called a eight-section brocade, and something with the really weird name of "muscle-changing scripture." The power skills also include the seventy-two arts, which are composed of thirty-six soft and thirty-six hard exercises, as well as combat skills, which refers to stuff like various barehanded, weapon, and barehanded versus weapon routines (also known as styles) and their combat methods.

Seriously. Orochimaru-san isn't just obsessed with ninjutsu, even if that's most of his focus. He practically hoards knowledge of literally every kind.

But I also start learning to actually fight. Shisui had focused on just conditioning, for the most part. Orochimaru-san… well, I get another few belated "birthday presents"— two pairs of gloves with a bit of extra padding over the knuckles, as well ointment meant for cuts, scratches, bruises, etc., just in case. The gloves work to basically prevent me from breaking skin… and that's it. Calluses help protect the knuckles when punching, and it's bad to rely on any tools… but I'm a kid (and a rather important kid at that, given Okaa-san's family), so I get a bit of leeway in that matter.

This, ironically, is one of the activities I find more soothing. No, it's not easy, and punching or kicking at rope wrapped around wood really hurts, but… I can take it a bit slower. For the most part. Because after I get better at basic punches and kicks, Orochimaru-san starts introducing sparring, just to get me used to trying to hit a moving target, as well as for conditioning— and yeah, I can't spar for more than about a minute without practically passing out, so that needs serious improvement still.

He also teaches me… well, how to fight with a kunai.

(He is also very, very happy that I've trained myself into being more-or-less ambidextrous. I apparently spared him a lot of the trouble.)

But yeah, that's surprisingly necessary. It's hard to overcome the instinct that says not to inflict pain, but if you actually want to cut someone… you can't hesitate or flinch, and you need to know exactly how much strength to put into it.

I learn by sparring Orochimaru-san's clones (usually Earth/Doton, because they can take more damage than most other clones), who take it easy on me. As in, they don't kick or punch me. But then… they don't need to. Do you know how hard it is to land a hit on that guy? Just chasing that clone around, trying to land a hit, is absolutely EXHAUSTING. Especially when you're already exhausted from an entire day of exercise!

But then I go lie down, cool down, sip at some water (don't gulp, too much water in your stomach hurts when you jump around), and get up again despite trembling limbs.

...but seriously, I go through a lot of water. As in, about five bottles a day.

And at the end of the day, make sure you eat a solid meal with a lot of protein… and with the vitamins that Orochimaru-san somehow found the time to specially formulate for you, because otherwise, you'll hurt more the next day.

And apparently, I should just be glad that he doesn't think it's a good time to try fighting through pain. Serious injury, that is. As in, nothing broken. Bruised ribs, bruised legs, bruised anything… minor cuts… those are all fair game. Orochimaru-san is really good with medical ninjutsu, so I can't say I mind. Yeah, it's torturous… but it's not like it's more tortuous than his other ideas.

Like taking a page out of Shisui's book. That's how I found that Kiyohime-san can be summoned in different sizes.

Do you know how terrifying it is to have a two-meter-long or three-meter-long or five-meter-long snake chasing after you?

…

Mind you, it's pretty fun at the end of the day, when Kiyohime-san carries me as a two/three/five-meter-long snake. It's like a rollercoaster, but cooler. And considering it's easiest for her to carry me in her mouth… well, it's awesome to be up that high, and giant-Kiyohime-san gets less terrifying as things go on, especially since she usually doesn't want to hurt me.

During the weeks I spend with Orochimaru-san, I don't just learn about shinobi. I also learn quite a bit about him. For example… he kinda misses Tsunade and Jiraiya. She's… off doing stuff, and Jiraiya's also off doing stuff, and… he's the last of the Sannin in Konoha, and he's really… not sad or upset, per say, but… he's hurt and bitter and a bit angry and that also applies to how Konoha sees him. And to how his sensei sees him. They see him… as this really scary, creepy person, but even that description probably doesn't do anything justice. He likes being scary and creepy and intimidating and having people be scared of him… but I think he also sometimes wishes that people weren't always scared of him and that people didn't automatically flinch away.

He won't change, he won't pretend to be someone he's not… but he's also lonely. I think. Because I was like that, too, Before. I was smart and too focused, and… especially in group projects, I kept trying to make everything perfect, to get everyone to focus and just work, and…

...and people didn't like that. They were intimidated by me. No one ever really invited me after school, or to a party, or anything. And I thought that was normal. But then when I looked around and listened… no. It wasn't. But by that point everyone thought they knew me, and I couldn't change, and… and I wouldn't change that much, because that was me, even if it really hurt to know that people didn't like me.

It's just like that for Orochimaru-san. He really loves Konohagakure, and from what I know, Namikaze Minato made a wonderful Yondaime, but… was it really fair to Orochimaru-san? No. But life isn't fair, and being Hokage is like… a bit like being the class president or homecoming king/queen (I'm guessing, since I've only heard about that in media) or something. It's popularity.

And it's hard to change when people already think they know what to expect from you, and eventually… maybe it's easier to let yourself sink back into that mold and tell yourself that it's fine and at least it's better than the alternative and it's not completely false and ignore that little ball of resentment and anger and sadness and force it down because that would just make this worse and try to get away and try and make a new start in… for example, college. I just needed to ignore everything and work hard for four years and then I could leave and try to fix myself in a place where people didn't have anything to expect from me like in high school (because so many of them knew me in middle school and I didn't realize I had to change then and they already thought they knew who I was). Except…

Orochimaru-san can't do that. He's a shinobi. He's one of the Sannin. He can't leave Konoha. So maybe it's not the exact same, but I can't know because most of it's inference and conjecture, because he won't tell me, but… I can't help but feel a little bitter, too.

So days like that, when we've gone into the busy part of the village and he's gone all quiet, I shove a book at him and flop on him with Kiyohime-neesan and make him explain stuff to me. Because he's almost like… like Kiyohime-neechan, with humor that's a bit dark and morbid and constant threats and all teeth and not-human movement and eyes that aren't sparkly or soft, but… but he's also like Kiyohime-neechan in that he'll grill squid for me on some of the days when he sees the scars everywhere on the training post except the target and I'm quiet and my eyes are a bit too red, and he'll bring wagashi and higashi from that shop Okaa-san normally buys from sometimes, and half of what he makes in that room I'm not allowed in, with the glass beakers and stuff that I'm a bit scared to touch, is products for his hair.

I'm not kidding. He loves his hair, and according to Kiyohime, it's like his mother's. He actually also makes stuff for my hair, and it's got ingredients I'm honestly not sure I understand everything that goes into it, but my hair feels thicker and looks shinier and doesn't really tangle much, and after I start using the stuff in the vial that he gives me after I come back with some slightly charred ends, my hair's harder to char. After I mentioned my mild asthma issue… and how it usually started because of exercise… well, two days later, one package of pills to use if it ever flares up, a pack of quick-acting medication if I ever had to exercise without warming up, and a powder-type thing if the first two preventative measures don't work. Apparently, pressurized substances aren't really a thing, so… yeah, no inhalers.

He actually consumes bits of poison with his food, because that's what his mother taught him to do, to keep building up an immunity, because only incompetents carry antidotes on individual missions, and when I ask if I can do so as well, he hesitates a little but lets me help and teaches me and lets me hold leaves that leave my hands itchy and painful and slightly red, and teaches me what some poisons taste like (bitter, but not like tea leaves), and makes me a schedule and list so I can safely build up immunities later, after I advance enough. Poison… well, it poisons you. You want to take it easy until your body overcomes it.

I realize that that's what he smells like. The slightly bitter/flowery/sweet not-tea. Poison.

He spends a lot of time in the 44th Training Ground, the Training Ground of Death, and he takes me in that horrid orange-and-pink backpack-carrier-thing on the days when he goes in to get samples of plants or animals, and… it's amazing in there. It's like a… a Wonderland, with all of the mutated flora and fauna, and no one ever goes in there. Not like the other training grounds, where shinobi might look and gawk and whisper and shy away.

He really likes his summons, and lets them wind all over him while he works. And his hands are almost always stained with… poisons or ink or something, because he spends so much time on stuff like that, and when he's working with books and papers and scrolls, he puts his hair up in a loose low bun and sometimes wears glasses for small text.

He absolutely hates cold food.

We run through a carton of eggs (each with twelve eggs) every week.

He likes ranting about idiots during dinner. I learn a lot during this actually, since it's basically a what-not-to-do list, blooper edition. Some things are obvious, but a lot are not. Those are only obvious to someone like Orochimaru-san.

Every Obon, he makes lanterns for Nawaki and Dan, Tsunade's little brother and her… boyfriend. Nawaki was one of his first students, and he regrets his death. He also burns incense for his parents, and he keeps a small shrine for them in a corner of the house, where he has their picture (and yeah, he really does look a lot like his mother), even if he doesn't float the lanterns he makes down the river.

Having such a clear view of human mortality, with how he's lost his parents and students, and I think… he's scared about dying before he can achieve his goals, even if he won't put it that way or admit it.

And his goal… is to obtain all the techniques and gain a true understanding of everything in this world? I can understand that. Isn't that a bit like what I want to do? There's this amazing world with so many possibilities… and I want to learn everything I possible can. And I'm also scared of death. I remember what I told Itachi, and it's true. I don't want to leave. So I guess I understand him a little.

He's almost painfully pessimistic at times, too, and has a pretty harsh worldview. Like, I'm pretty sure he would love Nietzsche if he existed here. Like, "the person who has a why to live can bear almost any how", "that which does not kill you will makes you stronger," and "to live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."

I actually start calling him "Oro-sensei," sometimes, as a bit of a joke, after he tells me about his goals and ambitions, since korosenai means unkillable, and then that becomes "Koro-sensei," but since I don't want to rip off that one anime with the orange octopus-sensei, that then becomes "Oro-sensei." Yup. It's a bad pun. But I like it, and he actually smiles when I use it, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .

Orochimaru-san constantly dumps scrolls and books and other sources of information on me. He has a lot, and apparently he's taking this time as the opportunity to comb through the more basic ones and toss them at me, so as to free up space.

One of the things he tosses at me, in between scrolls on jutsu that he's long-since mastered and decides to give me "for later," are the scrolls on the Fire Temple monk's style of taijutsu. (He gives me a lot of stuff that will "be useful a little later.")

They're well-organized, with rough explanations of the type of style at the beginning.

Oro-sensei advised me to consider the animal-based styles that are the most popular: the Five Animal styles. They're usually either Tiger, Crane, Leopard, Snake, and Dragon… or crane, tiger, monkey, snake, and mantis, which seems really familar— wasn't that what they did in Kung Fu Panda?

Yeah… no. I'll stick to the first five.

There are also a lot of other animal styles, like a different group of twelve slightly different styles consisting of dragon, tiger, monkey, horse, alligator, cockerel, hawk, swallow, snake, ostrich, eagle, and bear-and a lot of non-animal styles to boot.

Interesting fact: Oro-sensei actually based his style off the snake style, even if he's built it further from there.

He advises me to do the same later— to build a personal style for myself off a mix of existing styles, which makes it harder for people to kill me if they know some of the individual styles.

I'm immediately intrigued by Leopard style, though I'm also interested in some of the other ones… but from what I remember of Before, and my experience in taekwondo… I'm probably not very suited to some of the other styles. I'm also probably not the best suited to this one either, but… eh, I really shouldn't think too long on this. I like overthinking things, and I tend to be pretty indecisive, so…. learn this, and if I regret it later, I'll learn another style later.

Plus… for this one, I can get help from Shisui. He's good at speed, and if the leopard style relies on it… that can be useful. Other things about it are also appealing— it's supposed to be a "midway" point, it doesn't seem that overused… which probably shouldn't be a motivator in my decision, but it is. And some of the parts… "aggressive speed," "hit, damage, and run style designed to overcome superior forces with inferior resources," "techniques are geared towards single, two or three technique combinations that cause a lot of damage, disorientate or even blind the attacker," "especially effective against larger opponents," "the leopard claw can be used to rake, claw, and rip at the face and throat of an assailant"... they sound really cool, okay?

I think of of the cats I'd left in Kiri… and of my family's nickname for me Before. Xiao Mao-Mao, Little Cat.

Tigers look nicer, and snakes are really nice… cranes are pretty, and dragons seem awesome, and I know mantises can be super cool, but… it also seems like they're too flashy. Leopards… they feel like something I can actually be like without trying too hard or changing myself, if that makes sense?

The emphasis of Leopard style is in speed and angular attacks. The leopard does not overwhelm or rely on strength, as the tiger does, but instead relies on speed and outsmarting its opponent. The power of the style derives from its aggressive speed. The leopard practitioner will focus on elbows, knees, low kicks, and leopard punches. Leopard style is a hit, damage and run style designed to overcome superior forces with inferior resources. Counter attacks are sudden, indirect and short, with the aim of landing a debilitating technique.

The goals of leopard-style are to develop muscle speed for external strength, teach patience, and use the leopard punch for penetration and lower body springing power.

The leopard style was founded on the creators' observation of the movements of the leopard in the wild, and therefore practitioners of the style imitate these movements. Leopard style techniques are geared towards single, two or three technique combinations that cause a lot of damage, disorientate or even blind the attacker. Blocking is wasted in Leopard - the style can be summed up with "Why block when you can hit?" It does not rely on rooted stances, and would only assume a stance while in attack in order to launch at the opponent. This hit and run technique of the leopard, something especially effective against larger opponents, is unique to the animal.

The primary weapon is the leopard fist, which can be likened to a half-opened fist. The primary striking surface is the ridge formed by folding the fingers at the first phalangeal joint; the secondary striking surface is the palm hand. Strikes include the phoenix eye, which is a punch to pressure points including the eye and temple. It is formed by lifting only the index finger's knuckle while the rest are kept in a usual fist form. The leopard fist can also be modified by slightly lifting the fingers to form a claw. The leopard claw can be used to rake, claw, and rip at the face and throat of an assailant.

The leopard style is thought to be a midway point between the Tiger and Crane styles, the strength and height.

An interesting technique of the leopard is the ability to simultaneously block and strike the opponent. This is not commonly used in the harder martial arts (like the other styles, for example). The sheer speed of the leopard is a defining characteristic of the style.

Plus… I don't have that good endurance, but I do have a pretty fast recovery time. At least, that was the case Before. I'll probably do best with a hard-hitting style where I can get in and get out quickly.

Oro-sensei wants me to learn Dragon-style or Snake-style, which are interesting, but… they require quite a bit of endurance and muscle strength. He also wants me to learn the Tiger stances, too, mainly as training and to get stronger. There's two different schools of it, apparently. I don't like one, but I kinda like the other— the one with the open hand.

Still, most of what I'm currently doing and learning are being used primarily as training. I can't actually use a lot of skills in battle yet, mainly because I am tiny and would be crushed and cannot actually use my opponent's weight against them because they would simply pick me up and- Ahem. You get the point.

Plus… apparently, according to Oro-sensei, I am too laid-back for how smart I am and how much potential I have, and Shisui has been a bad influence, so he is going to 'fix' that -even if it kills him.

And so things go relatively smoothly. I start looking at the forms for the leopard style around mid-way through February, even while still working on the seventy-two arts and the combat skills. I don't really like the styles or the methods. There aren't really mirrors, not like in the dance studios, so it's hard to self-correct, and I have to rely on Oro-sensei and Kiyohime-neechan for help.

I cannot wait until I have enough chakra to make shadow clones. Then, I will actually be able to see myself doing this.

But then, it also means that it's hard to see what he's sometimes talking about, because I can't see myself. Luckily, I have pretty good body-awareness, so I, like… know where my limbs are in relation to the rest of my body. For the most part. When I'm concentrating. The details are a bit harder, though, so I guess it's lucky that it doesn't usually matter.

Regardless, it's not the forms themselves that are hard. It's the transitions, the movements… they need to be sharper, stronger, etc. I've started wearing loose, long, slightly-heavy sleeves and pants so I can practice that snap of clothing that's supposed to happen with every strike.

Bleh. This is the exact same thing I struggled with Before, in taekwondo. And it's hard. It's not just strength. It's like… keeping your body loose and relaxed up to the point of the strike, which is when you tense up just long enough to deliver it, then immediately relax again.

Even apart from that… unlike taekwondo, a lot of these forms are… smooth, and flowing, and they require very firm muscle control. It hurts, holding a squat… or a moving squat, which is like when you shift your torso from side to side, without moving your feet or straightening up. But these? For the most part, they require flexibility and strength, and the forms are harder to do after exercising.

Luckily, Oro-sensei lets me practice a little of my forms right after warming up, but Oro-sensei says that continuing to try to work on them after exhausting exercise is good practice, because I have absolutely horrible stamina.

Gee, thanks. I know.

But it isn't unpleasant, now. I've improved a lot, and ok, while the continuing pain and frustration isn't the most pleasant… it's proof that I am continuing to improve. And besides, it's nice on the private training grounds around the house— there are lots of plum trees, since they were Oro-sensei's mother's favorite flower/tree, so currently, I train under blooming ume, plum blossoms. And they're absolutely beautiful.

But it's also kinda bittersweet, because… Okaa-san and Otou-san are returning home soon. Like, really soon.

Now, it's as if everything was this fantastic adventure or a dream that's… going to end.

Like, I'm not going to be able to spend that much time with Oro-sensei anymore.

And he gets really quiet when I ask him about it, so… I don't think he's looking forward to me leaving, either. Which is nice for me! When I had to deal with little kids, I practically counted down the minutes to when they would leave.

But… I feel kinda bad. I made sure to let him know that he should come over whenever, but… that seems so small when he gives me a bangle-bracelet with a small concealed blade and the specific contract for Kiyohime-san… and a vial of his blood, sealed inside.

I actually cried while hugging both him and Kiyohime.

Like, full-out bawling.

…

That was embarrassing. But seriously, it means so much to me. Because that means that Orochimaru-sensei likes me enough to let me be able to summon what is probably his closest link to his mother, and it means that Kiyohime likes me enough to let me summon her. And it means that they both trust me enough not to lose something so important, even if Orochimaru-sensei assured me that the seal for the vials are tied to my blood… and that his blood is necessary for anyone to summon Kiyohime. So, as long as I'm decently careful… only I can use it.

There are limits on how big I can summon her, however, and Oro-sensei has to help me practice it to the point where I no longer flinch at cutting a finger on a blade and smearing blood over the contract and pushing in chakra, then catching the vial, and then… well, I can now summon a very tiny, yarn-needle-sized Kiyohime. And at that size, she's actually the perfect size to wear a bit like an ear cuff, or to wind herself inside a small braid. I should know. We've experimented.

…

And so, when Oro-sensei drops me off at Kobayashi Tea and I hug him one last time and say "thank you… for everything", and wave as he walks off and then go inside to see my parents for the first time in months… it's bittersweet.

That sense of deep pensive-ness doesn't last for long, though. It can't. Not with Okaa-san and Otou-san bawling over me.

梅がえにきゐるうぐひすはるかけてなけどもいまだ雪はふりつつ

To the plum tree's branches

The warbler has come.

That spring is here

He sings, although

Still the snow is falling.

ume ga e ni ki wirū guhisu haru kakete nakedomo imada yukiwa furitsutsu

Author's Note: Yay! Training montage! And… I entirely blame blackkat (on ao3). I'm sorry. Orochimaru has been redeemed for me. Plus, I thought it would really work well into the story… as well as help flesh out Makoto's character. The interesting part comes a little bit later, though… in chapter 21. *wink* (^_–)

This chapter is actually complete… and understandable, again thanks to bg3929!

Okay. A little bit of analysis into the chapter that's probably a bit necessary to ward off some comments— Makoto's a rather unreliable narrator. And he's definitely special in this regard— Orochimaru's not a nice person. Just putting that out there. Makoto's currently… probably categorized as something between an interesting experiment, a rather irreplaceable possession, and a cute pet. Just putting that out there.

*sniffs happily*

Makoto's going to grow up into such a bad ss!