Night

Chapter 9: Home

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A Story by Umi Sonoda

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I looked over her shoulder closest to me and saw she had her eyes closed, like her precious gemstones were closed for exhibition. So close against her back I was sure I was breathing on her neck. So far, a few times I had called out the golden-haired angel she stood tall on her fake sleep. I knew because she then removed my hand from between her thighs. She pulled on it too that made me fall on top of her after she opened up.

The bed was messy. Sheet was wrinkled, and blanket was pulled across. The pillows had been flipped and turned and flipped again. The bed was very messy. I already finished my warm milk by my end table while she still had half of her water bottle. It was 2 A.M. and I was wide awake.

'Come on, Umi. Haven't you had enough? I already gave my best today.'

Her eyes were still shut, just like how I remembered them as she tried her best to hold back an hour prior. I continued on playing with her locket until I even noticed the very detail that I hadn't noticed before – the slightly twisted and bent part of the chain that held the lace and the heart together. It was because I couldn't do much with one hand while the other still cuffed by her. 5 past and I was still not tired.

'Aren't you tired, Umi?' she asked after she finally opened her eyes. She rubbed her finger on my lip too while she slowly opened hers, which I only knew it meant one thing. I moved up to meet the same level as her and I kissed her, then as well her jaw and her neck. 'You're not supposed to have a late-night snack… Sometimes… Russian dishes, even chocolates have alcohol in them. And you don't want that… do you?' She then distanced me with my plate of fresh and ripe fruit. 'How are you so energetic tonight, Umi?'

'I took a few sip of your coffee. And now I can hear my blood pumping.'

She looked over to her end table while she was still holding my face. So I looked up and down at her body whilst she was distracted. 'That was 4 hours ago, Umi. You shouldn't have… Umi!' She nudged me that made me look at her eyes again to notice she was already looking at me back. 'You shouldn't have taken a sip. That was a strong one I made to accompany me through my assignment.'

'How's that going for you?'

'You should know better for being an expert on keeping me distracted,' she replied while I removed her hands and pinned them above her head. 'I barely got through it and the coffee didn't help.' She paused. For a while too. I was to blame, actually because I kept her mouth busy until I continued to move down on her like how I did earlier. I pinned her hands with only my left hand and it was enough to immobilise her. 'Things like what you're doing right now, is where my coffee went. By the looks… of it you're not going to sleep soon, so can you let go of my hands… so we can do this properly?'

Without a slight hesitation I released her but it was one of those mistakes that would haunt me forever, because she covered herself with a blanket instead. I was tricked. I no longer could see her elegant build.

'Just to let you know, there are other things couples do when they can't sleep.' This time she had definitely opened her eyes, because I saw the reflection of the light from the moon on her eyes and she looked beautiful. 'It's called bed talk. And the first thing in my mind is how beautiful you look.' She pulled me down so I could rest on her arm while we kept a distance so I could still see her without getting a headache for staring so close. 'And the second thing is: I notice you behave very differently in bed than anywhere else, Umi. Somehow you don't blush, you don't hesitate, you're even… in charge. It's also a surprise that you would ask me to wear my old uniform, which by the way, where are they now?'

'O-on the floor.' I pulled on the blanket too to cover myself. Quietly I said as she embraced me, 'well, this is part of being in a relationship isn't it? And anyway, I'm not ashamed anymore as long as it's the two of us.' But it was hard to say, to confess, something like that to my own lover. Just with her smile she took every breath of my words out of me. 'I'm sorry if I'm too overwhelming you. I want to enjoy every second of this relationship and I thought… it made you happy.'

'Well you do, Umi. And it really does! I would gladly do anything you asked for to make you happy too. We're still at the early part of the relationship, after all, where it's all lovey-dovey. Remember when I pinned you down on the sofa? Look where we are now.' Her laugh was warm that I felt like there was no point of using a blanket. 'But we'll mature out from here on, I guess. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the Umi who is the conductor…maybe you can tone it down a little.'

I hated to admit but that she was right, because every time I lied down on that bed, all I could think was how close she was going to be with me and how she would spoon me. So privately just the two of us, under a sheet we were so secluded. She would be there before I close my eyes and she would be there while they were – because I couldn't guarantee that she would stay until I woke up, though she sometimes did.

For quite some time, I had noticed in our relationship, I had taken over my girlfriend's role, as the one who decided the pace. It began long before I graduated, when I was still wearing the green tie – one that I quickly removed as soon as I got home and saw my girlfriend on the sofa especially in her robes that she often hid minimal clothing inside. So desiring. I could not yet control it. Once exposed forever stained, ruined, by the indecency of our sexual intimacy. No longer was I head over heels about it and nothing that I would be ashamed of as long as it was shared with my better half. I began to be the girl who initiated these acts too; I was the one who climbed over, I was the one who locked her hands, I was the one who removed her clothes, and I was the one who pulled my girlfriend down in bathhouses. However, I also began to mature as I began to see how my girlfriend perceived our relationship, to keep the smile on our partner's face for it was better than any prize for our hard work. At the end, however, I was the conductor as long as we were at home, but never outside as I still had dependence and needed guidance.

With sudden realisation, the distance between us was too far so I climbed on top of her. 'But being with you means I'm also entitled to this, isn't it?' I reached her neck again.

'Don't say that, Umi!' She exclaimed with a violent push after her smile diluted by the estranged expression that I couldn't taste anymore. 'I'm sorry that I can't satisfy you enough tonight as a girlfriend, but don't you think you went too far?'

'W-wait. I didn't mean that.'

Her eyes began to become watery and swallowed by the shade. Her eyes sparkle in a different kind of way, that made me shiver. Before she could cry, from where it looked like, she pulled her pillow that she rested on and covered her face without a care anymore regarding the blanket that covered her as she carelessly exposed her breasts because of it.

'Umi,' she called muffled by the pillow. Her voice was troubled as well. 'Please tell me there's… another reason for you to date me… besides for my body…Tell me truthfully, Umi!'

'Of course, Eli!' I tried my hardest to convince while I tried my hardest to pull the pillow to see my girlfriend again. 'That's true. I love you truly despite of how you look.'

My girlfriend, although she was mature she could cry her heart out. Despite being the strongest, in my opinion, among µ's her heart was the most fragile if tapped in the wrong way. It had been broken to pieces and was weakly glued back together – even a tape would be stronger if compared. She suffered before I even met her for I was her third and final, so I picked up from where Nozomi left off. It was because of her first relationship she had been sensitive and concerned about people liking her for her looks. But I was telling the truth, because the first time I saw her was when she wore a mask. Right then and there I fell for the girl. I was lucky and truly happy that she was my first and only partner that I could say I never been hurt.

'Don't think of me like that,' I said after I revealed her again. Her eyes truly screamed they were scared and I tried my best to fix her eyes, but especially her smile. 'Remember I loved you from the start. Back then I didn't know how you looked so it's pretty fair that I'm not like her.' I pulled myself up and her along so we could sit while I face her. My hands were also wrapped around her neck to her back. 'But I am truly happy a girl as beautiful as you granted my only wish. Sometimes I even felt it's not fair for other girls who likes you… I mean, they're prettier than me.'

Her body then jerked differently as she was not gasping for air for her cry anymore but it was for her laugh. There were still tears left on her cheek that I had to clean them up to make sure the next would be a happy tear instead. She hugged my tightly and finally I could hear her laugh until she looked up at me and smiled again. 'C'est la vie.' She pushed her chin up to kiss me, finally. 'I learned that from Maki.'

Shocked, I pulled away that dragged her lips a little too. 'You learned what!'

'The French, Umi.' She giggled too and moved in closer to reach me but I kept my distance by my stretched arms. 'The language, I mean. And just because I mentioned her name, don't start to think about Maki while we're doing this.' A split second I did, even Eli cringed a little, probably thinking the same thing. Then she moved closer again and I let her kiss me that time, as if I could resist another of her passionate acts for the second time.

'I love you. You're as beautiful as the sea.' I stroked and brusher her hair and grabbed her head so I could kiss her again. 'And as untameable.'

'I'm glad I can see you smile again. It seems like there's an open ocean in front of you. Will you sail her?'

'I'm free, Umi. I can do what I like and I will travel all over her.'

'Do you want me to call you Poseidon?'

'No, no. Poseidon has responsibilities. I'm just a simple sailor just wanting to rule the sea and sail whenever and wherever I want.'

I finally moved in closer and whispered on her ear, 'pirate.' I then pushed her down and removed the thin blanket that separated us. And we capped off the night by staying a little while longer until my coffee rush had worn out by her sensational effort.

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We both arrived at my house early in the morning where my mother had already prepared us breakfast. The rest of the group joined us soon after that made me help her cook more eggs for the table. It was until afternoon that we finally started, because throughout morning we talked and wondered around my house without doing anything productive, but it was well spent with my mother there too.

That day was the day I moved. µ's was there to help me pack my things and also voted whether or not they were necessary to bring to the apartment. My sister was supposed to help too but she would be coming in the evening as she already had plans to attend.

After an unreasonable amount of time for persuasion, including scolding my girlfriend for slacking with Kotori, we finally started. It was getting serious and I had tied my hair back. Honoka picked up the books and packed them while Maki repacked whether Honoka packed. Nico didn't pack anything but I was glad she was there with eagle eyes to boss everyone else around – she even noticed Nozomi's attempt when she tried to escape. After a reasonable amount of time for packing, we got through a lot and we made good time.

My girlfriend, the very person I was moving in with, was missing for a while. I asked around and none had seen her half-way through the packing. She was not the type of person who would run away or make excuses to get out of a task especially the ones I gave. So I checked around my house and wanted to check my mother if she had seen her.

'Mom, have you seen –'

'Ah, Umi,' my mother called. 'We're here. I'm sorry for keeping her here with me again and again. We were just…' She paused for a second. She was taking a breath. She was crying earlier.

'It's okay, Mrs. Sonoda.' The girl I was looking for was sitting right next to my mother, there was a huge book that she hugged too – it wasn't thick but wide. The book wasn't the only thing she hugged but also my Mother. 'Umi, I think your mom needs you right now. I'll take care the rest of the packing, so you just stay here, okay?'

So I substituted to sit next to my mother while the rest of the packing was taken care of. I was there to sooth my mother for the second time, just like when my sister moved out.

'I'm sorry, Umi. I know you're excited to be moving in with your girlfriend but instead I'm…'

'Mom, I'm sad too,' I said when I reached out for the box of tissues so my mother could pull on one. 'I'm sad to leave this house. But I'm not leaving forever, it's just college. We're going to visit often too.'

'Have I ever told you that you have grown to be very similar to your sister? You've grown more beautiful every day too. It seems only yesterday that you were asking for help on colouring your drawing books. And now I'm starting to regret letting my precious girl move.'

'Please don't share that with the rest, okay? I'm not actually moving out, think of it as a student apartment I'm renting – when there's no food I'll come back. And besides, you can trust me. I'm going to share the apartment with not just someone, but the second best person I know. She's second to you, of course. And you trust her too, don't you? You said yourself she's already like a family.'

'Yes, and I support the two of you with all my blessings. I also trust you to do well in your studies, Umi, and of course your career too.' She looked at me and hugged me. 'You've grown to be just like your sister, someone I'm proud of. And I take back what I said earlier, I don't regret on handing you over because from now you'll be under her care.'

'Mom,' I called when she tried to let go. 'Please forgive me for any of my offences, things that maybe I didn't realise that troubled you or make you sad or even angry. And thank you for taking care of me all these years. I love you.'

My mother stroked my head so familiarly, and so nostalgic. So loving and warm too. At the end I was the only one crying and my mother was there as she always had for me. We were alone in the living room and my father came to join too. A little did I know, that the rest had finished packing and had moved them to the van outside. They stayed back afterwards and were waiting in my room, giggling and gossiping it seemed. My sister also came not long after my parents and I talked – she was going to stay there for a week.

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After I had finally said my goodbyes and wished for their blessings, we left the house. With most my things – where of course I kept the rest still at the house – we went to the apartment straight after. We unloaded everything to the apartment as it took a few rounds to get the van emptied and the apartment filled. It wasn't as hard as packing because we hadn't opened the boxes since we were to celebrate first and I would like it to be the one who put everything in place as where I already planned it, might as well label things beforehand.

Tea was brewed, milk was skimmed. And alcohol was served, though only Nico and Nozomi touched them – Kotori became interested only to be stopped by Eli.

The looks on everyone's faces were a delight, as if they were as happy as I was, as if they were all moving in. But it was no surprise as I had seen everyone more often in the apartment, where everyone stopped by before leaving to their own homes from a busy day and sometimes even before. Thus for this, stock for food was doubled. In the mornings they usually stop by to get some breakfast and other times they brought food to share.

In the evening everyone had left. Maki sent Nico and Nozomi home so they wouldn't have to walk. Kotori was reluctant to leave that she clung on Eli for a while, but it wasn't her turn to share the bed so eventually she left after a short nap, hoping to come back soon with Honoka. The rest left too but they didn't go straight away home but decided to visit a nearby shop on their way. So there we were alone in the apartment.

After we sent the group to the door, we had not talked. It was silent because we took our own position, my girlfriend was on the kitchen bar stool with her glass of soda while I was standing at the centre of the living room, next to the sofa. I looked around slowly whilst I examined each part of the apartment just like when we first inspected before it was furnished too – It was because of me that we ended up with that perfect home otherwise I would be moving into a simple flat so close to the university with her. The only thing went through my mind was all those that in the apartment were mine. The sofa I could sit on freely all day, or the food in the fridge I could eat all I wanted, then the space between the dining table and the small bookshelf I could freely roam in and dance and sing too. Then there was my girlfriend who was just admiring me with her head resting on her hand, whom I could love for the rest of my days.

'You look happy, Umi,' my lover pointed. 'You're in this apartment more than anyone else has and almost as long as I am. It's not something new is it?'

There were, actually, new furniture brought in as everyone pitched in. There was a new two-seated sofa we pushed to the wall, then another controller too for the console, decorations and framed photos were up, a new toaster and larger rice cooker, and some folded chairs for the dining table so we could fit the 9 of us. Some things we moved too, we swapped the large bookshelf from the living room with the study table from the bedroom. There was an extra study table too, one for me, and that the two were separated by the smaller bookshelf – it was still large enough to hold all the books while in the bedroom we kept the older and private ones.

'I'm so excited!' I had hopped closer to my girlfriend and swung her around. I bounced to the windows and returned. I even leapt the kitchen and back. 'I can't believe I'm going to live here from now. It feels really weird to actually move in here, since I already spent most of my times here with you. And let's not acknowledge what Maki said back then.' I grabbed the collars of her shirt, fixed them, and pulled on them again. This time I got serious. 'I may be like a child sometimes, and I'm still dependant on others… I'm going to apologise now before my troubles cost you your time or even too late as I am high maintenance, but please take care of me.'

'With all my energy I will do my best.' She pulled me and kissed my forehead so lovingly I felt I never left home at all. 'So I guess we really are living together, huh? Welcome, Umi. Your separate room's ready upstairs.'

'Very funny. But officially I am living here now. So from now we can do whatever we want together, you know.'

'We always do what you wanted, Umi, my knees are still a little weak. You know I just bought that bra and look what happened to it; you broke the underwire.'

'That's not what I'm talking about!' I smiled while she laughed. I stroked her head too to return her loving care for me and I ended with a caress on her cheeks. Suddenly she twitched in pain even pinched her eyes and her smile faded once again. She suddenly pulled my hand away from her cheek, that only made me wonder. 'W-what's wrong?'

'Umi,' my girlfriend began her nervous stare. 'A secret for successful relationship is honesty and openness. We got through the first half since the day we started… But I haven't been open to you… Do you love me, Umi?' she finally said after she rubbed my hand to the ring that was on.

'Of course, I do. What's the matter?'

She was silent and looking at the ring for a second before she met my eyes again. She switched from one eye to the other and back. 'I met her… a few days ago.'

'Eli…' I moved back slowly in shock, no longer within my reach until I could rest myself against the back of the sofa. I started to breathe heavily too. 'And what happened?' I gripped on the edge too for additional support.

She slowly sluiced her hair away from the side of her face to behind her left ear. 'Something you wished she hadn't done 3 years ago.'

It was like a déjà vu from the year before, when I learned about the same girl whom I came to hate the most. The only person to ever truly hurt my girlfriend, and I too. A recall from the past where I learned her true nature and I -

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[Torn Pages]