He groaned in pain as he gazed up at the ceiling of his bedroom for what felt like the thousandth time in forever. Splinter had given him his special tea that would help soften the pain as his dislocated joints began their healing process. Unfortunately, the effects of the tea were slow acting so every muscle and joint in his body ached whenever he moved. Though it was nothing like the pain he felt when he had been he had been about to be disintegrated like Donnie had.

Grimacing in pain, he rolled his head over to the wall that separated him from his immediate younger brother. His hard emerald eyes softened as he remembered what felt were likely Donnie's final moments. His body beginning to glow as every fiber of his being was being ripped apart at the seams. The pain was almost indescribable; it felt like every injury he had experienced in his lifetime (including the limbs that Za-napril had dislocated) at the exact same time after they had been cranked up to eleven. He didn't envy Donnie for this if anything he was more distressed that this was the last thing Donnie had ever felt before… he didn't even want to think it.

He could still hear the conversation they had when everyone was filling Splinter as well as Donatello in on what had taken place.

"Did it hurt…when it happened?" Mikey had asked cautiously after they were done explaining.

"I…suppose so...I honestly don't remember…" Donnie had answered.

"It hurt like shell and I know from experience," Raph grumbled from where he sat on one of the pit benches next to Casey.

"You sure that wasn't just because your arms and legs were dislocated?" Leo had asked his immediate younger brother.

"No…" Donnie answered as an uneasy look crossed his face. "There was pain when it was taking place and then there was just nothing. It felt every cell in my body was being reduced to atoms."

"That really happened, dude!" Mikey said a clear pang of distress in his voice. "You were totally there one moment, and then 'Poof' you were gone! I thought we'd never see you again, 'D'!"

"We all did…" Leo agreed. "It's thanks to April that you are even here with us. And it's thanks to Raph that April was able to break free from Za-naron's control"

Raph paused in his recollections as he heard the bedroom door across from his slam open and footsteps rushed towards the main room of the lair. Leo obviously had his own distresses about the past events and Raph didn't blame him for it. If anything the leader-in-blue would have been one of the people bothered the most by the evening's events.

Leo prided himself on being the big brother of the group, the one who was there to protect and listen to his brothers when they needed him. The one who felt it was his duty to shoulder the pain and distress his brothers would suffer in their battles and the one who would martyr himself to prevent them from harm. However, martyrdom must be genetic in their family, because Donnie wasn't given the secret nickname of Leo jr, for nothing.

Even when they had been children the four of them had their core pair ups, such as how both Don and Mikey bonded with each other in being the youngest members of the team which is why they were known as the B team or rather the 'A –' team. But there were also bonds in their very personalities, as well. He himself had bonded with Mikey and treated him like his little buddy in their day to day life. Leo, on the other hand, had bonded with Donnie in this same manner.

This dynamic wasn't as openly expressed as Raph's companionship with Mikey, mostly because Leo steadfastly tried to remain impartial to each of his brothers. As the oldest of the four of them and resident leader, Leonardo couldn't be the brother each of them wanted him to be as paying too much attention to one brother could be seen as favoritism, but not paying enough attention was neglect.

This was often a very fine line as each brother needed attention in different ways. As the youngest Mikey was rambunctious and needed to have attention from one or all of his brothers consistently, Raph being the second oldest needed to have attention in different ways as he was both a rival and foil for his older brother. Because of this, he did have a constant battle for dominance against Leonardo but also fought to keep the leader-in-blue grounded and on his toes.

Donnie was the only one of the three of them that required the least attention or appeared to require the least attention. Still, the bond between them did show itself in other ways such as Donnie being able to understand and read Leo in ways the others couldn't or how Leo often relied on Donnie's council in serious situations. And occasionally when one of the two of them was absent or incapacitated, the other suffered for it.

One could jokingly say the purple-masked turtle was Leonardo's shadow and it would feel like absolute fact. Donatello was loyal to a fault, outside of his experimentations and love for science there were two things that mattered to the brainy turtle more than anything. April, and those he deemed as his family (which also included April.) and friends, and he would willingly give his life for both.

While this was an admirable trait, this still not a behavior that was to be encouraged for good reason. For example, when Leo finally woke up from his coma, they filled him in on much of what had happened when he had been unconscious. But they didn't tell him everything... to this day there were still moments they hoped their elder brother would never have to learn about. One such thing was Donnie's behavior following the invasion.

After they had arrived and settled at the farmhouse, there were a number of nights where April, Mikey, and even Raph himself had watched as Donnie emotionally tore himself apart out of guilt and grief. Donnie practically chained himself to Leo's bedside citing that the first days were the most critical for life-threatening injuries. The purple-masked turtle didn't sleep a wink during any of those nights. This in itself wasn't unusual as there had been numerous nights where Donnie would go without sleep. Particularly when the situation depended on whatever Donnie could come up with for a resolution to whatever problem had arisen. Occasionally they would find him asleep in his lab reciting chemical names or the periodic table to himself between snores. And then when he did wake up he would berate himself for falling asleep and hurriedly get back to task to make up the time he had lost. During these times Leo, or Mikey, or April...somebody would bring him some food like a few slices of pizza, pasta sandwich, a piece of fruit, anything to make sure he didn't starve himself in addition.

But in those first weeks at the farmhouse, Donnie wouldn't sleep, he didn't eat, and barely spoke to anyone. He would be completely focused on Leo's care, excluding almost every basic need. Whenever April or Mikey suggested he take a moment to get some rest or have something to eat, Donnie would insist he was alright or that he wasn't hungry. This only made everyone more worried as it was obvious that everything was far from alright.

After the critical stage passed the point where they feared Leo would die from his injuries. Raph had insisted that he take over in watching their brother from that point forward.

"You are too wound up, Don," Raph, pointed out after they had placed Leo in the tub to keep him hydrated. "It's been days since you've actually slept."

"I'm fine, Raph, I need to be with, Leo," Donatello protested.

"No, you need to be in bed," Raph snarled. "At this moment you are our leader, how can we trust you with our lives if you make yourself sick too?!"

"I never asked to be leader…" Donnie started to say, but trailed off as he seemed to zone out for a few seconds before he shook his head as though trying to clear it.

"You're right, you didn't ask to be leader," Raph growled. "But we needed your level headedness to get us out of the city. Now we need you to come up with a plan for how we are going to fix all this."

"We will wait for Leo to wake up!" Donnie growled back.

"And if he doesn't, what then?" Raph demanded "How do you think we are going to save the city from the Kraang?!"

"We…" Don trailed off again a distressed look crossing his face momentarily. His eyes suddenly hardened as they turned back to his hot headed brother.

"If you feel you can do better than you be leader!" Donnie snapped, but then his eyes turned sorrowful as a pained expression crossed his face. " I...I don't deserve the position anyway, I'm the reason Leo got hurt in the first place if I...if only I hadn't...if only I hadn't argued with him then…" Raph suddenly lunged forward and wrapped his arms around his immediate younger brother's shoulders. The purple-masked turtle stiffened at the sudden unexpected action from his brasher older brother.

"Don't blame yourself for what happened, Don," Raph comforted as he hugged his distressed sibling. "We've already lost Splinter, we haven't lost Leo, yet, but we can't lose you to. Not like this...not today, not ever. I know I've given you a hard time growin' up and all this is probably rich comin' from me, but we need you, Donnie. And if Leo woke up right now, he would tell ya the same thing himself." In response Donnie lowered his head to Raph's shoulder, Raph continued to hold his younger brother comfortingly as he felt the wetness of Donnie's tears hitting his skin.

"I'm just so scared, Raph," The younger turtle mumbled into his brother's shoulder, "what if we...?"

"Don't think like that, Donnie," Raph sighed as he lowered Donatello and himself to the cold tile of the bathroom floor, though the same fears had also crossed his mind more than once since the invasion. He cupped one hand against his immediate younger brothers head and the other he ran in comforting circles along Donnie's shell. "Everything will be okay, I don't know how, but everything will be okay..."

Heck they had all had moments where Donnie had been hurt by them. There was the time Donnie went stupid thanks to Mikey, there was the time Donnie had been stung by one of those roided out alien bees on Dregg's planet of Sectoid 1. Both those times Donnie had thankfully recovered and was able to come to their aid when they needed it most.

Then that time when they had been at the Auman Chemical Plant looking for Leonardo, Donnie had seen something that cued him that they were in serious danger. He thought nothing about himself, his first thought was to get them out of there. The same sort of action Leo would have done if he had been with them.

"If we hadn't gone looking for you, Donnie wouldn't have been blown up!" Raph remembered snarling at Leo when their older brother had appeared demanding to know what had happened. He couldn't forgive Leo for it either, he was so angry he wouldn't even look at their older brother. They were a team and a family, they were supposed to be together. And Donnie had gotten hurt because Leo had wanted to act on his own...again!

And more recently Donnie had gone after him with that dorky mutant gecko that Mikey had befriended so they could convince him to come back home. And when they were being attacked by Don Vizioso's goons, Donnie still refused to leave Raph behind even just to get help. Something Leo also would have done for any of his brothers.

Raph winced as his joints surged with pain for a moment, the pain was duller then it had been the last time he felt it though meaning the tea was beginning to work. That in itself was good...though the pain of this evening would never truly go away.

He remembered clambering over the side of the Channel 6 building with his brothers and Casey. Just in time to see Donnie psychically lifted into the air before April flew off into the sky dragging Donnie with her.

"DONNIE!" Leo screamed out his brother's name before he raced to climb the television aerial in a vain attempt to come to the purple-masked turtles rescue. But even when they reached the top of the aerial, Donnie was still too far beyond their reach.

"What do we do Leo?" Mikey asked their brother urgently.

"There…There is nothing we can do…" Leo answered in a tone that screamed that he didn't want to come to this conclusion.

"Come on, Leo!" Raph snarled in helpless frustration."That is your little brother up there, you're honestly going to stand here and let gods know what happen?!" Leo closed his eyes and grit his teeth as though he wanted to shoot something back, something cutting. But instead he kept his counsel, opening his eyes again, he returned his focus to the brother that was suspended feet above them. His eyes calculating every possible move they could make and immediately rejecting it when he assessed the likelihood of failure.

Raph sighed through his nose as his eyes also traveled upward. If Leo couldn't figure out what should be done, then things were really really bad. His fingers clutched the aerial tower so hard that they started to match the color.

"Donnie…" Mikey whimpered softly. Raph wanted to reassure his little brother that everything would be alright, but he didn't want to say something he couldn't guarantee.

When Donnie's death happened it was over in a single painful incident. Donnie's body remained suspended in the air before it shattered into thousands of pieces like glass hitting the pavement.

"DONNIE!" Leo screamed out his younger brothers name. Raph also heard himself echo his older brothers anguished cry.

"NOOOO!" Mikey screamed out. April roared out in triumph as a bolt of lightning struck the aerial tower sending them falling to the roof. Raph recovered quickly and looked up at the sky, his eyes narrowing with anger and sadness as he noticed that April was nowhere in sight.

"She's gone!" He growled, but his tone softened as he turned to the remaining members of his family. Everything felt so confusing. It felt unreal that Donnie was gone...just 17 years and their brainiac brother was gone. "What do we do, Leo? What happened? Is...Donnie gone?" Leo didn't answer in words. The leader-in-blue couldn't even look at the rest of his family. He just remained kneeling on the rooftop holding Donnie's mask in his hands. The blue-masked turtle glared at the sky with rage, which quickly dwindled to sorrow as Leo let out a sigh... just one exhalation of breath full of self-loathing and failure and continued to cradle Donnie's mask in his lap. It was the only proof, Raph needed as he felt his heart break.

"Poor...Donnie…" Casey softly said, his voice hollow with shock over that had taken place.

"Wait, dudes," Mikey said as he looked up, a gleam of desperate hope in his eyes "maybe 'D'...maybe he was teleported back to the lair."

"Mikey…" Leo started to say.

"No," Mikey insisted fervently, "Donnie can't be gone, he has to be here!"

"I'm sorry little brother," Raph said as he shook his head sadly.

"We all want to believe that Donnie is alive...but…" Leo started to say but found he couldn't bring himself to finish. A hitch in his voice indicating that he was trying to keep himself together emotionally.

"I...I've only given him a hard time," Raph said guiltily. "If I could do things over again, I'd be a better brother. I'd listen to him more, tease him less…"

"We will mourn for Donnie later," Leo said with conviction as he stood up, pocketing their fallen brothers mask in his shell. "We need to save April."

"Come on, Leo," Raph said angrily, "If Donnie's gone, there is no point in saving April. She's probably gone too."

"No!" Leo growled back in a tone that made it clear that he was anything but in the mood to argue. "Donnie was able to get through to her, it was only a few moments but maybe it's still enough to help her fight the Aeon. We need to help her break free of that crystal…It's what..." Leo closed his eyes sadly a moment but quickly opened them again with a look of determination. "It's what he would have wanted, I won't see two members of my team lost this night."

They fortunately didn't need to look very far as they found her trouncing some of the Purple Dragons.

"You can't do this April...or Za-noran, or whoever you are!" Leo shouted at the possessed girl. April simply regarded the three Turtles and human boy that surrounded her indifferently.

"Do not stand in my way," April warned as he spoke with the voice of the corrupt Aeon. "Or you will be cleansed just as Donatello was!" April suddenly gasped and struggled as though she was waging an internal battle with herself.

"We have to stop her!" Leo barked to his team.

"But what if April is still in there!" Casey said worriedly.

"What are you kidding me!" Raph snarled at his human friend, as much as he hated to admit it. He didn't see any way April could be redeemed from this. She was fighting the Aeon, but it was a losing battle. He didn't want to have to slay April and it wasn't a decision he came to lightly. But this Aeon, Za-noran or whatever it called itself was trying takeover April's mind and it would destroy everything she was in order to do so. It would be better if she was struck down while she had creature distracted then let her be completely enslaved by a demon. "I don't like it...but, April O'Neil is...gone! We've no choice, we take her down!"

Without a second thought, Raphael rushed forward and grabbed hold of April using all of his strength to restrain her. The girl struggled in his arms so fiercely it was difficult to hold on.

"Do it! Hurry!" He yelled to Mikey. He didn't want to give his youngest brother this horrible task, but he was the only one with a weapon that could land a hit that could take April down, it had to be this way. Mikey had to look past his soft heart and see this was the only way to save April. In response Mikey readied his Kusari Gama, but unfortunately he lowered his weapon as he looked away a second. When he looked up, his bright blue eyes were conflicted with determination to save a friend, but filled with grief at what they have already lost.

"I can't hurt her, dude," Mikey stated with remorse. Unfortunately for Raph, this hesitation was all Za-Noran needed to take control of April once more as she threw him off. Raph yelled as he felt himself thrown through the air until he felt like he was grabbed by an invisible hand. Another unseen force grabbed hold of his arm and legs. His limbs were painfully in unnatural directions as he felt his joints being pulled out of their sockets. April laughed with cruel pleasure at the pain she was causing him until Mikey's Kusari Gama chain was bound around her.

He felt himself fall at least ten feet to the ground and landing painfully the hood of a car before rolling the asphalt. Casey was at his side in an instant.

"Hang on, bud," The human boy whispered as calmly as he could manage "you'll be okay." He then looked up at the young woman that Leo and Mikey were desperately trying to restrain. "We know you're in there red!"

"We're your friends! Your family!" Mikey added to Casey's statement hoping that their voices and their conviction could somehow help give April the strength to break free from the Aeons control.

"Remember who you are! You are April O'Neil!" Leo yelled as he also tried to bring April back from whatever dark corner of her subconscious that she had been tossed into. "Remember everything we've been through together!"

"Yeah," Casey chimed in. "Remember when we fought a giant "Mutagen Man" and our dope Missions in space!"

"And Master Splinter, and pizza parties," Mikey added "and Ice Cream Kitty..."

"NOOO!" Za-Noran roared as she broke free from the chains binding her sending Leo and Mikey flying backward. Casey jumped up defensively before he was knocked aside as April rushed to finish what she had started.

Raph felt himself lifted three feet of the ground as an odd tingling like pins and needles passed through his body, but this sensation quickly surged to indescribable levels of pain. It felt like he was being ripped apart and crushed at the same time. He knew he was being cleansed, cleansed from the face of the Earth like Donnie had been.

Wait...Donnie… Leo had said Donnie had managed to get through to April for a moment. The memories that Casey and Mikey had suggested were too small, they were all memories that Donnie was present or had association with. Perhaps...perhaps...Raph didn't have time to second guess himself as the pain reached a crescendo he barked out the words "Remember...Donnie!"

"You were totally there one moment, and then 'Poof' you were gone! I thought we'd never see you again, 'D'!"

"We all did… It's thanks to April that you are even here with us. And it's thanks to Raph that April was able to break free from Za-naron's control"

~No, Leo…~ Raph thought to himself. ~It's thanks to Donnie that April was able to break free from that Aeon's control. I only told her to remember Donnie."

Raph did admit that he had been dubious about Donnie's feelings for April at first. Okay, it was funny to seeing the resident genius of the group become idiotic over the red head, particularly when it was a good opportunity to tease their brother about his infatuation.

Though it also got annoying at other times such as when he would make the mistake of calling her a pet name that would have been endearing…if they were more than just friends.

Fortunately Donnie didn't often repeat his mistakes with April and even the time she had been apart from them and the inclusion of Casey did help temper his brother's obsession with her.

And yet, no matter how many times Raph looked at it, the only result he could see would end with Donnie becoming heartbroken and he didn't want to see that…let alone be a part of it.

"Wait, you still think you have a chance with April?"

"Well I...um…"

"Man, that's adorable...and sad...it's sadorable. Next time you want to go and try to impress April, leave me out of it!"

"Say, does April ever talk about me?"

"It doesn't matter if she did…besides you know how Donnie feels about her?"

"Whatever man, I don't even like her anyway."

"Right…"

He had even gone so far as to take things up with April on one occasion.

"April…" Raph had said as he approached her during one time when she was returning to her apartment after spending an evening in the lair. "You're probably aware that, Donnie has…an attraction towards you. If it's bothering you at all, Leo and I would be willing to talk with him..."

"Thanks Raph," April said with a smile. "I appreciate your concern, but I am also capable of letting him know if he's bothering me. Majority of the time 'D' means well, and he is aware when he does cross the line."

"Well, just a word of warning," Raph cautioned "Donnie may have a strong shell, but he still breaks easily. Whatever you do, don't lead him to believe in something that he can never have… I don't want to see my brother get hurt."

And even later at the farmhouse.

"I don't know about Big Foot having a crush on Donnie," April sighed with concern as she hung out the bedsheets out to dry on the clothesline, Raph was beside her assisting her with this task. All the while the two of them watched the large female Sasquatch swinging in the chair swing with Donatello seated next to her. Her long legs pushing against the ground causing them to swing higher than the chair was meant to go, a large blissful smile spread across her ape like face. Donnie on the other hand was clinging for dear life to the swing looking painfully like he would need an air sick bag in the next five to ten minutes.

"Maybe it's a good thing," Raph shrugged as he also watched what was going on.

"How can you say that?!" April demanded,

"Look at it this way," Raph explained "Remember when Donnie first started crushing on you and how uncomfortable that made you feel? Now, he's getting a taste of his own medicine."

"I wasn't that uncomfortable with it." April commented as she watched Donnie less than willingly getting dragged off somewhere. "I mean, I am the first female he's ever met and consider a friend, and the same is true for her. When Donnie and I were tending to her injury she said something I didn't quite understand. From the sound of things she was saying there was a man who was trying to hurt her, so Donnie is the first man she's met that has actually been nice to her. I suppose it's only natural she would be attracted to him. But her heart would only be broken once she realizes Donnie doesn't like her in the same way."

"And what about you?" Raph asked. "When Casey and I arrived at your apartment, you ran up to Casey and said "I thought I lost you forever?" in front of Donnie. Both Mikey and I were there to see it."

"Oh that," April realized, her eyes looking away from the green eyed Turtle guiltily. "I was...I…"

"You were what...?" Raph demanded, a clear note of anger and disappointment in his voice. "I had told you not to lead him on."

"It's not what you think…" April tried to explain though there was a pained tone in her voice. "I know how Donnie feels about me, but it's not something I can deal with right now. He is someone who matters to me, but Casey matters to me too. Unfortunately choosing one means hurting the other and I don't want to do that."

"Chose...don't choose...it's up to you." Raph said as he picked up the empty laundry basket. "But both Donnie and Casey deserve an honest answer, not a run around."

And then after Bigfoot had left to return to her life in the woods, Raph had glanced out the window of his room when he was heading downstairs for breakfast and noticed Donnie outside talking to April. He couldn't hear what was being said, but he could tell by his brothers stance and expression that he had come to a painful conclusion about his relationship with April. The humanoid girl glanced away a moment, before she said something to him. Getting up on her toes she placed a light kiss on Donnie's mouth before turning and walking into the house, leaving a confused genius behind her.

Raph had felt his knuckles clench in anger, he had warned her about leading his brother on. And even now when Donnie himself had seemingly chosen to end things, she had the audacity to string him along like a "geek on a leash". He didn't address it because he didn't want to jump to conclusions about whatever was being discussed. But he couldn't forgive April for continuing to skirt the issue.

Even now, April had made no moves about acknowledging where their relationship truly was. Though it did seem that things had stabilized between Donnie and April. The two of them forming a platonic sibling like relationship and no matter who April had feelings for. It was her history with Donnie that had given April the strength to break free from the Aeon crystal. So perhaps...there was hope after all.

Raph could feel his eyes start to droop as the sedative portion of the tea began to work it's magic. He could vaguely hear Leo stop by Donnie's room, most likely to check on their brother before returning to bed. The red-masked turtle couldn't help but smile at this, as much as Leo could be a pain-in-the-shell, he still was their caring big brother.

There was a sound of Mikey's bedroom door being opened and Leo's feet shuffling into it with something heavy. An obvious sign the smaller turtle had felt the need to be with Donatello at some point. The smile on Raph's face faded to a ghost of itself. Mikey prided himself of being a comforter to all his brothers as needed. But the teddy bear act was just a front for Mikey to seek comfort in times of distress such as now. Donnie was someone Mikey looked up to not just as a brother, but as a best friend. If Donnie had been lost to them, Mikey would no longer be the plucky little brother they all knew. Something in all of them would have been destroyed, but for Mikey, that something would have a serious impact on his happy-go-lucky personality.

When Raph was injured, Mikey would be concerned but he would still make cracks at his brothers expense. When Leo was in his coma, Mikey could feel the absence left in the family but he still took things in stride, encouraging the hope for a better tomorrow. Even when Splinter supposedly died after falling down that hole in the under city with the Shredder, Mikey still refused to dwell on the negative even when it was glaring them in the face.

But when Donnie was hurt trying to get them out of the chemical plant after it blew...Mikey just went quiet. He didn't laugh, smile, or say anything to anyone. He just sat quietly with a lost look on his face as if he had been told that he would never have pizza ever again.

A frown replaced the smile as he heard Leo re-enter Donnie's room once more.

"I'm impressed Donnie, you're taking everything rather well,"

"Yeah, I'd totally be wigging out if it was me."

"I'm a little shaken, but otherwise I'm alright."

"I'm a little shaken, but otherwise I'm alright."

"I'm a little shaken, but...I'm alright."

Raph's eyes drifted to the ceiling of his room once more. Something about Donnie's statement bothered him. While Donnie hadn't been killed off...not literally like Splinter had been in a former point of existence. For the span of an hour, he was essentially dead. There was no sane person alive who would just get up and walk away from it like it didn't affect them.

Perhaps this was like his phobia about bugs months ago. After visiting Sectoid 1, Raph had felt he was over his fear of insects and it would never bother him again. However it manifested itself differently when he saw the bug mutants that Stockman had created. How had Splinter put it…?He wasn't over his phobia, he had been "Shell-shocked". Perhaps that was what Donnie was going through...perhaps he was only "slightly shaken" as he claimed and would become more affected by these events later.

As he drifted into the peaceful bliss of sleep, Raph's last thought was that in time Donnie would require someone to guide him back to himself. Otherwise the gentle hearted genius they knew would truly be gone.