The Seeker

Jackie replaced the handset on its cradle. She wrung her fingers together, staring down at the pink plastic as if it held the answers to all of her problems. Her current problems, that is. They seemed to be piling up higher and higher, burying her under their bulk.

Standing, Jackie began to pace the carpet before her bed. She chewed her tongue, scowling around at her possessions. Flower pillows, white furniture with gold trim… Little girl. She had little girl furniture. Not that of a woman. Well, an almost woman. Pink pillar candles. Nancy Drew books. Magazine clippings of pop singers pasted to the wall.

Steven wouldn't think it was cool, to decorate an apartment with furniture that was so against his image. That was, if Steven even agreed to come with her.

"Oh, God." Jackie fell onto the little pouf before her vanity. She propped her elbows on the white surface, her forehead resting in her palms.

Would Steven come with her? It wasn't like it was all that far to Chicago… He could commute. Or maybe WB would have another store he could manage. If WB had managed to find a place for that whore Angie at corporate, Jackie was sure WB could find a place for Steven. There was a Groove's in Chicago right?

Jackie shoved back from the vanity, racing across the carpet to stare out her bedroom window. The El Camino had yet to make an appearance. Ever since Jackie and Steven had messed with Donna Steven had been sleeping at Jackie's home.

Eric was irate. Donna was holed up in her room. Michael was not only upset that Donna hadn't chosen him to kiss, but more so that Brooke had lost seemingly all hope in him. Fez was moping in his and Kelso's new apartment, saddened that Michael might soon be leaving him. The two had become more and more reliant upon one another, leaving Jackie curious as to the current nature of their friendship.

Everyone had their own problems. And Jackie had no one to talk to.

Pushing aside the white lace curtains over her window, Jackie's eyes swept the street. She angled her head, her forehead and cheek pressed against the cool glass, willing for Steven to appear.

They had so much to talk about.

Life was spiraling out of control.

Dropping the curtain, Jackie began to pace once more, her thumbnail rising to sweep her lower lip. She glanced at the pink rotary phone, and away, her stomach churning. She had to think of a good way to tell Steven. A way that wouldn't piss him off or close him down.

"Dammit." Jackie whispered. She paused at the window, pushing aside the curtain. Her heart leapt in her chest; the El Camino was pulling to the curb. She pivoted on her toes, racing across the carpet and wrenching open her bedroom door. She pounded down the stairs, and across the foyer, opening the front door just as Steven crossed the gate into the drive.

Steven's head was down, one of his hands in his jeans pocket. His boots crunched over the gravel, and he gave Jackie a half smile when he noticed her, his pace quickening.

"Hey, Pumpkin." Steven said as he neared, jogging up the three stairs leading up the porch. His smile faltered slightly, but he didn't comment on what he saw on her face, instead kissing her cheek. "Pam here?"

"No, her and Bernard are at the Wisconsin Dells." Jackie said, leading him into the foyer. "We're alone."

"Cool." Steven paused in the foyer. Jackie locked the front door, skirting around Steven and leading the way to the kitchen.

"Martina is back," Jackie said. She held the door open for Steven. "She said she would leave food in the fridge. Are you hungry?"

"Starving." Steven pulled out a barstool in front of the island, taking a seat. "Mrs. Forman thinks I've been missing dinner cause of work. I'm not gonna to tell her otherwise."

"Eric still giving you the cold shoulder?" Jackie asked, pulling a casserole dish from the fridge. She set it on the counter, turning to pull two plates from the cabinet.

"Cold shoulder would be better than what Eric's doing." Steven rubbed his hands down his face. "I haven't seen him longer than a couple minutes and even then he gives me the feeling he's plotting my death. Did I tell you that he has systematically hiding my possessions? I can't find any of my Zeppelin and I think he may have gone through the notes you wrote me. They're folded all wrong now." Steven sighed, crossing his arms on the islands surface. "It's weird. What is he going to discover from a bunch of gossip notes about cheerleading and who's dating who."

"I don't get it." Jackie said, spooning two helpings of casserole onto their plates. "Donna's the one who did all this. Not us."

"Yeah, well, Forman was blaming me, but now he's blaming you for making Donna go M.I.A." Steven tongued his cheek, watching Jackie place a plate in the microwave on the counter.

Jackie scoffed. She turned her back to Steven, grateful for the excuse of watching the food reheat to keep her emotions from showing. All she had done was put hair dye in Donna's shampoo. If Donna could forgive Eric for killing her cat, Jackie was pretty positive Donna would forgive her for temporarily changing her hair color. "I'm sure the green has faded by now."

"Maybe," Steven said. "Then again, the only one of us who's seen Donna is Fez and he was too upset over Kelso maybe leaving to remember what color Donna's hair is."

The microwave beeped. Jackie exchanged plates, setting the warmed one in front of Steven. She felt her eyebrows draw together, considering the question that had formulated in her mind. "Michael still doesn't know if he got the job in Chicago?"

"Guess not." Steven said, taking the fork Jackie offered him and digging into the casserole. He took a large bite, chewing thoughtfully.

Jackie's right eye twitched. She turned away, staring blankly at the microwave. It would be so easy to tell Steven… She had the perfect set up to it.

Say, Steven, speaking of jobs in Chicago, you'll never guess what news I got today.

"Would you ever want to live in Chicago?" Jackie asked, stopping the microwave before it beeped. She avoided meeting Steven's eye, taking a seat beside him at the island.

Steven shrugged, swallowing. "I don't know. Maybe. There's tons of stuff to do. The music scene is definitely better."

Jackie pushed food around her plate. "Doesn't Groove's have a store in Chicago?"

"Nah, I don't think so." Steven's fork scraped against his plate.

"Oh." Jackie took a bite. She chewed for longer than necessary, working the casserole between her molars.

"Why do you ask?" Steven questioned.

It was Jackie's turn to shrug. "I was just curious. You said the music scene was better, it would make sense to have a store located there."

Steven licked his fork clean, considering this. "Yeah, true."

"Plus, I'm sure it'd be easier to get musicians to show up to a store in Chicago than it would be to get them here to Point Place." Jackie continued. She peered at Steven from the corner of her eye. "Do you think WB would be open to opening a new location?"

"Perhaps," Steven said, standing. He rinsed his plate in the sink and put the casserole back in the fridge. Jackie heard the unmistakable hiss of a beer being opened and silently rejoiced. Steven was more open when he had a couple beers in him.

Jackie forced herself to finish her plate. Her stomach continued it's gymnastics routine and Jackie ignored the feeling of nausea it produced.

"What did you want to do?" Steven asked, setting the bottle of beer onto the island.

"Watch TV?" Jackie suggested.

"Cool, whatever." Steven shrugged.

Steven followed Jackie out into the living room, settling onto the couch beside her. He curled an arm around her shoulders, his fingertips smoothing circles over her deltoid. Jackie flipped through the channels, settling on a movie that looked like it had only just started.

They watched in silence, curled together on the sofa.

Jackie couldn't focus on the movie. She was tormented. When to talk to Steven? What to even say? Every way she thought about it, she knew would only serve to upset him. If she told him that she had already accepted the job he would think that she was abandoning him. If she told him that she needed to know what was going to happen to them before she gave an answer, Steven would feel trapped.

She had torn her thumbnail to shreds.

First Donna. Jackie missed her friend. She felt lost without the Amazon's advice and betrayed by Donna's use of Steven. Now that she had extended some form of payback Jackie wasn't sure of the next step. Did she apologize to Donna? Did Donna come and apologize to her? Would they spend the rest of their lives never speaking again? For all the things that Donna had done to Jackie, talking behind her back and laughing at Jackie's expense to the boys, she was at a loss. Donna had always been there for Jackie, and Jackie had tried her best to be there for her.

Jackie could really use Donna's advice on this latest development. Pam wouldn't be any help. She had been traveling with Bernard, only stopping at home for a day or two at a time. Besides, Pam would only encourage Jackie to marry for money, not for love, and to make choices that led to a mans support. Pam wouldn't support Jackie's dream, not truly.

And then Steven… Jackie was afraid of losing him. She felt trapped herself. Between wanting the life she had always dreamed of and the love she felt from Steven, Jackie didn't know which to choose. Either way she felt like she was standing at the edge of a great chasm and whichever choice would send her plunging into its depths.

The movie had ended before Jackie had decided. She fended off Steven's attempt to draw her into a kiss, too distracted by her own thoughts. Steven didn't question her, but she felt him watching her closely.

Jackie moved in a fog. She didn't respond to his touches in the shower, and jumped in surprise when he kissed her neck, his body warm against her back. She jerked away as if scalded, turning off the stream of water.

"Ok, what's up with you?" Steven asked. He took a towel from the towel bar, handing it to her.

Jackie wrapped the fluffy towel about her middle, securing the end in the edge of the towel. She gathered her hair in her hands, squeezing out the excess water. "I don't know what you mean."

"You're actin' funny," Steven said. He stepped out onto the bathmat. "You do something? You didn't donate my clothes to the Goodwill again, did you?"

"No." Jackie stepped out of the shower. She began to finger comb her hair.

"Then what?" Steven asked. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing, I just have a lot on my mind." Jackie blurted.

Steven's bare hips leaned back against the counter. He rubbed his towel over his hair, the curls frizzing under his ministrations. Warily, he looked at her, the towel wrapped across his shoulders. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No, I'm fine." Jackie said, flashing him with a terse smile.

"Liar." Steven accused. He pushed off the counter, draping his damp towel over the towel bar. "Whatever," he mumbled as he exited the bathroom.

Jackie's eyes met her reflection. She sighed, exhaustion rolling over her body. Whatever's right. Jackie pulled her toothpaste out of the drawer, squeezing a dollop onto her toothbrush. She scrubbed at her teeth, scowling at her reflection.

Whatever.

-x-

Steven left early the next morning for the record store. He enjoyed work much more now that his sister had been transferred to Milwaukee. No one was there to complain that it smelt like marijuana. Kelso wasn't banging his sister in the office within hearing distance. The music was never changed to girly crap and customers were actually given decent advice on artists.

The El Camino rumbled as he started the engine. He pulled away from the curb, sparing one last glance for the Burkhart's house.

Jackie was acting weird. More than weird, Jackie was acting straight up mental. She had spent the night with her back turned to him, her body stiff. Steven knew she hadn't slept; her soft snores had never graced his ears. This morning as he got dressed he had caught her staring. She gave him a closed mouthed kiss, but didn't draw him in closer.

It was enough to freak him out worse than when he had first seen The Omen. He wished he knew what to say or do.

"Whatever." Steven mumbled for what felt like the hundredth time. He parked behind Groove's, fumbling with his keys.

Steven quickly became too busy to worry about Jackie. He opened the store, and spent the next several hours managing the new merchandise and inventory. He caught a punk-ass, pimply-faced dweeb trying to steal Tommy, and almost let him go. At least the kid was lifting something decent. But Steven had gotten much more satisfaction out of frog marching the kid out of the store, shoving him down the sidewalk with the threat of what would happen if he caught him in his store again.

A break in customers happened around noon, and Steven spent the respite on a stool behind the counter pricing new vinyl. He set Tommy on the store's turntable, humming along to the music.

I've looked under chairs

I've looked under tables

I've tried to find the key

To fifty million fables

Steven greeted a pair of new customers with a nod of his chin, pointing them in the direction of Aerosmith. He changed the price on his pricing gun and continued sorting through the stack of vinyl before him, consulting the pricing sheet corporate had sent with the new batch.

The front bell rung again, but Steven didn't look up this time. He called out a greeting, spinning on his stool to set a stack of priced vinyl behind him.

The call me The Seeker

I've been searching low and high

I won't get to get what I'm after

Till the day I die

"Hey, man, do you have anything new from The Ramones?"

Steven spun back on his stool. He began to respond and was struck into silence by the girl settling into the listening pit.

Clearing his throat, Steven stood from his stool. "Yeah, over here."

He showed the customer the new Ramones album, all the while distracted. Steven wandered around the back of the listening pit. He paused before a row of vinyl, pawing through them without seeing; his eyes were glued to the back of the girl's head.

She looked so familiar. She was familiar. But from where? She wasn't dressed any different than Donna would dress… blue jeans with a peasant top and boots. Hell, she was even tall like Donna. But no one had seen Donna for days, and this was the last place Steven imagined Donna to make her grand appearance. Least of all with hair dyed a jet black.

People tend to hate me

'Cause I never smile

As I ransack their homes

They want to shake my hand

Wait… Steven's eyes narrowed. Had he slept with this chick before? He had slept with a lot of chicks. It was possible that one would wander into his store. Hell, just last week he had had run ins with five different girls he had slept with in the past. After each awkward encounter Steven had been left feeling grateful that period of his life was over, at least for the time being.

Steven squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. What did it matter who she was? He had better shit to worry about.

Like Jackie.

Steven returned to his work, pricing merchandise. He Windexed the front of the glass counter and dusted the shelving of cassette tapes behind the counter. The Who spun to an end. An hour passed, two. Steven eyed the girl, prone in the listening pit. She had brought a book, but he couldn't tell if she actually read it, or had brought it for something to hold.

Her presence was beginning to unnerve him. At hour three of her company Steven disappeared into the office for a quick pull on a joint, anything to settle his nerves. But if anything the THC only served to rattle him more. He settled into his office chair, his back to the door. His heart was pounding in his chest. Was she from corporate? Had Angie spilled the beans on just what Steven did in his spare time? Or was she from the government, biding her time before she slammed him with some petty bullshit charge? Steven's heart stuttered a beat- like the joint currently clutched in his fingers.

Gray smoke curled in the air. Steven took several deep, steadying breaths.

"None to share?"

Steven yelped in surprise. He spun around, dropping the lit joint into an ashtray on the desk.

"Whoa, sorry." Donna held up her hands. She stepped back from the open office door, blue eyes wide. "I'm sorry, Steven."

"Goddammit." Steven cursed, his head dropping forward. "Shit you scared me."

"Well, why are you smoking pot when you have a customer in the store?" Donna retorted. She leaned against the doorjamb, clasping her hands in front of her lap. "I've been sitting out there for a couple hours now… Were you not going to say hello?"

Steven looked up, mouth slightly agape. Donna squirmed under his scrutiny, a hand coming up to push a lock of black hair behind her ear. Her skin was pasty white, and her eyes sapphires.

"You dyed your hair." Steven stated stupidly. No wonder. She was familiar; she was freakin' Donna.

Donna massaged her lips together, her arms crossing over her chest. "Is it too dark?"

"Its…" Steven's brow furrowed. It reminded him of the color Jackie pointed out on other girls stating that that's the color girls try to get to get my color. "It's just different is all."

"Yeah." Donna nodded. "It took me a while to get used to it too."

"Green started to fade?" Steven heard himself ask.

Terse silence filled the office. Donna stared up at Steven from through her lashes.

"Sorry." Steven muttered, unsure why he was apologizing. He pushed out of his seat. "Look, I gotta get back out there."

"Yeah, alright, I understand." Donna didn't budge.

"Mind if I pass?" Steven pointed out to the store.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, Steven." Donna began.

"You're sorry?" Steven repeated.

"Yeah." Donna nodded. She let her arms uncross. "Steven, look, I did a crappy thing. To you, and to Jackie. And I'm sorry."

"Yeah, alright." Steven said, feeling awkward. He scratched the side of his nose, shuffling his feet.

"Jackie must hate me." Donna continued. "I don't blame her for what she did. I probably would have done the same if she'd used Eric like I did-" She cut herself off. Quirking a brow she continued. "Well, like I used you."

"Alright." Steven said.

"Nothing more to say?" Donna asked, smirking.

Steven blinked, his lids feeling like they weighed a hundred pounds. "Whatever."

"Alright, you stoner, whatever." Donna turned away, back into the store. She grabbed her book off of the couch, meeting Steven at the counter. Donna leaned her elbows on the counter, exposing a line of cleavage. "Do you think that if I were to talk to Jackie she'd listen?"

Steven pushed his butt up onto the stool, noting the intense effort it seemed to exact from him. Donna talk to Jackie? It had the potential of bringing Jackie out of her funk. It also had the potential of detonating like a nuclear bomb and destroying the whole of Point Place. Steven rubbed at his face, cupping his cheek. "Uhm. Yeah, I don't know, maybe?"

Donna nodded. She drummed the fingers of her free hand on the counter. "Alright then. Well, I'll see you later."

Steven watched her leave. He propped his hands on the counter, his toes flexing in his boots. Confusion ran rampant through his drug-induced haze.

What the actual fuck?

-x-

Jackie didn't know how to react. Anger? Confusion? Repulsion?

"Hey, Jackie." Donna said, this time softer. She shifted her weight from foot to foot.

"Your hair." Jackie stated.

"Yeah." Donna fingered the ends, briefly looking down. "It's not green anymore."

Jackie's fingers tightened on the door. She exhaled slowly. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came by to tell you I'm sorry." Donna said. The words sounded rehearsed to Jackie's ears. Like they'd been practiced in front of the mirror. It was how Jackie always felt whenever Michael had cheated and come back on his knees.

"What?" Jackie scoffed.

"Can I come in?" Donna asked.

Thrown, Jackie took a step back. She stared, unblinking, at Donna, and then gestured her inside.

They sat across from one another in the living room. Jackie's hands gripped her knees. Donna chewed her lips, tapping her fingers on her thighs.

"I get what I did was wrong."

"Oh, really? Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I've had a lot of time to think."

"And you've been visited by your guardian angel?" Jackie laughed. "Did he also sing you a song and perform a dance routine?"

"I've had a lot of time to think about what all I did wrong, and everything that has happened lately." Donna leaned forward, her hands sweeping down her shins. "Look, I took the cowards way out. And I'm sorry. I should have been a better friend."

Jackie waited.

Donna cleared her throat, leaning back on the couch. "Jackie, I did the wrong thing. But I think you're being a bit dramatic about all of this. You and Steven weren't even together."

"Steven?" Jackie asked.

"Yeah, Steven." Donna's eyes rounded. "That is his name."

"Not that you've ever used it." Jackie spat back.

Taking a deep breath, Donna spoke again. "Do you forgive me?"

"Why should I?" Jackie asked. "Because you've been such a great friend lately?"

Donna's fingers toyed with a lock of hair. "Jackie… Look, I'm really sorry. Things haven't been all rainbows and sunshine in my life either. You're not the only one going through some shit."

"You could've reached out." Jackie said.

"Yeah, and would you have listened?" Donna asked, her tone hard. "You've been so busy obsessing over how terrible of a boyfriend you have that you haven't had a lot of time to be a good friend to me either."

"Oh, whatever, no I haven't!" Jackie argued, though as the words spilled from her lips, she knew what Donna said was partly true.

For months now she had obsessed over Steven. Would they make it? Would he commit? And then when it seemed like he wouldn't, she had broken up with him, and promptly fell into a spell of obsessing over whether or not they would make up. Jackie frowned, looking down at the white carpet.

Both girls avoided the others eye. Neither would concede defeat to the other. Donna's apology hung in the air between them, and Jackie's guilt coated it. How had they fallen so far apart?

"Want a drink?" Jackie asked, breaking the silence. She stood and crossed to the wet bar.

"A drink?" Donna asked, following Jackie's movement across the room. "You're not much of a drinker."

"Special occasion." Jackie muttered, crouching before the cabinet of liquor. "Ok, we've got tequila, we've got vodka and we've got wine."

"I don't care." Donna said, standing and coming to the bar. "Tequila Sunrises?"

"You got it." Jackie said, pulling the bottle of Jose Cuervo from the cabinet. She fixed them both tall glasses, sliding Donna's across the bar towards the former redhead. Jackie stared at Donna's hair, taking a long gulp. "I can't believe you chose to dye your hair black of all colors."

Donna winced as she swallowed, swilling her drink. "Yeah, well, someone else chose the previous color it was, so I was left with limited options."

Jackie cocked her head. "If you tanned a little bit I think it wouldn't look half bad. Make your eyes pop."

"Thanks," Donna muttered, taking another sip of her drink.

They drifted out the French doors onto the lanai. Jackie pulled the covers off of the patio chairs, and they sat, staring out over the green backyard.

Donna snickered. "Hey, remember that birthday party you had when you were like fourteen?"

"Oh, my God." Jackie rolled her eyes hard, the ice in her drink clinking. "How could I forget? Michael showed up with Pattie Miller and then denied that he did. I wouldn't be surprised if she was the first one Michael cheated with and not Pam Macy."

"God, he was a sleaze ball." Donna chuckled. She took a long sip of her drink. "You and Hyde are better together."

"Yes, we are." Jackie agreed.

Silence blossomed between them again. The sun was setting slowly over the trees, bathing them in its orange glow.

"How have you been, Donna?" Jackie heard herself asking. She wasn't sure why she asked. A large part of her didn't care. But these last couple of weeks without Donna's friendship had been far more difficult than Jackie could ever imagine. There were just some things she couldn't talk about with Steven.

"Oh, I've been better," Donna said. She took another sip from her Tequila Sunrise. "I'm better now that I don't have to worry about Eric. That's been a huge weight off of my shoulders."

"He thinks you two are going to end up together, y'know." Jackie divulged.

Donna scoffed. "Yeah, well…"

"So you're really over him?" Jackie stared hard at the side of Donna's face.

Pushing her dark locks back, Donna's cheeks rounded and she exhaled slowly. "Over him? No, I don't think I'll ever be over him. He's been such a huge part of my life. My first everything. But I think it's just that I've realized that we want different things right now. We can't be together."

"Mmm." Jackie hummed, looking away. She sipped her own cocktail, chewing on a piece of ice. What Donna had said made perfect sense to her. It was exactly what she feared was what was going to happen to her and Steven. Especially with her new news. "So if things were different, maybe if you both were older, than you would be able to be together?"

Donna's shoulders rose, hugging her cheeks, and then fell. "I don't know, Jackie… Maybe."

Jackie tipped back the last of her drink, setting the sweating glass on the dirty table. "I got a job offer in Chicago."

"What?" Donna exclaimed. She turned her bright eyes on Jackie. "That's great! What's it for?"

"A producer saw my access show, and he thinks I'd be a great addition to his news team." Jackie said, smiling for the first time since she had received the news. "He wants me to give him my answer as soon as possible."

"That's so great!" Donna said. "What does Steven have to say about it?"

Jackie watched a bead of sweat roll down the side of the glass. "I haven't told Steven yet."

"Oh." Donna said softly. She squinted into the setting sun, bringing her own glass to her lips.

"I don't know how to tell him." Jackie admitted.

"I think you should just tell him."

"Yeah, but Steven means more to me than anything." Jackie burst. "I would stay here for him, if that's what he wanted. I would give it all up. I just need to know that one day we'll get married."

"You'd give up on your dreams and stay here?" Donna asked. "What would you do?"

"There's a news station here." Jackie said. "I'll get my degree and then come back and Steven will ask me to marry him and we'll live happily ever after. Easy peasy."

"Wait, wait, wait." Donna set down her glass. "Degree? You want to go to college?"

Jackie felt butterflies erupt in her stomach. "I've actually already been accepted to college. To a couple of colleges."

"What?" Donna screeched. "Why haven't you said anything?"

"Because I didn't know how to tell Steven and with everything that's happened between us, I'm afraid of losing him." Jackie stood suddenly, grabbing hers and Donna's glasses. "I'll be right back."

Jackie hurried back into the living room. She poured them each another drink, her mind a cacophony of confliction. Why had she said anything at all? It was nice to have Donna here, to have a girlfriend to listen and give advice. But for long? Donna had apologized, and Jackie could be the bigger person. But Jackie was always the bigger person in their friendship.

She poured a shot of tequila, tipping it back. The liquor burned all the way down to her stomach.

Donna looked up at Jackie's reappearance, her dark hair still shocking against her pale skin. The sun had nearly set. Frogs began to croak in the distance and the steady hum of the bug zapper on the far edge of the porch seemed suddenly deafening to Jackie's ears.

"Y'know," Jackie began, handing Donna her glass. She sat on the patio chair, drawing her feet up under her. "I am curious about something."

"Shoot." Donna said, setting down her drink on the tabletop.

Jackie's forefinger traced the ring of sweat her glass had left on the table. "Why did you choose Steven? Michael would have jumped for joy at the thought of kissing you."

Donna's face closed off. She took up her drink, gulping a quarter of the mixture. "Kelso would have just told Eric. He can't keep a secret."

"True." Jackie conceded. "But there has to be a reason you chose Steven."

Silence met Jackie's statement. Donna refused to make eye contact. Jackie's feet had begun to fall asleep and she readjusted her position. "You like him. Don't you?"

"Who?" Donna asked.

"Steven." Jackie stated, a burst of laughter escaping her lips. "You like him. That's why all of this happened. That's why you've started calling him 'Steven'."

"No." Donna sneered. "No, I don't like Hyde. I just-" Donna cut herself off, scoffing again. "I needed someone to use, and he was there, and that's what I did. I used him. Look, I've already apologized to you for this, and him for that matter."

"You spoke to Steven?" Jackie asked, whirling on Donna. "When?"

"Before I came here."

"Did he forgive you?"

"I don't know, he was stoned."

"Mmm." Jackie hummed. She turned away. Silence bloomed between them, filled with the animal racket of dusk. "I don't believe you, by the way."

"What?" Donna and Jackie met the others eye.

"I know you like him. I've suspected it for a while now." Jackie continued, smiling like a cat with cream. "You going to try to break us up too? Cozy up back on our good sides and then pull the rug from under us?"

"No!" Donna sputtered. "Jackie. I swear! I don't want your boyfriend. I wish I'd never done what I did. None of this would have happened."

"Oh, ok." Jackie said. "Look I don't know exactly what it is you expected when you came here. That I'd magically forgive you? Fall at your feet and pretend that nothing had happened?"

"Well, no-" Donna started.

"We may have both be selfish in our friendship, but I would never do what you did Donna. I don't know how to forgive you right now."

"Jackie, are you serious?" Donna had tears welling in her eyes. "I know that, I've said that like a million times now. I'm not trying to compare us. That's like comparing apples and oranges."

Jackie cupped her forehead. "Oh, my God, it is always about food with you."

Donna ignored her. "I know that what I did was wrong, and I don't even know why it was that I'd decided in my head at the time that it wouldn't affect anyone. I was only thinking about myself."

"Ya think?"

"And there were many better ways to do what I did."

"Like not doing it at all. Or choosing someone else's boyfriend."

"But all I can say now Jackie is that I'm sorry, and that it won't happen again." Donna beseeched her. "If you never want to speak to me again, I understand."

Jackie felt the hot prickle of tears at the backs of her eyes. She blamed it on the shot of tequila.

"I'll go home. And whenever you're ready to talk to me again…" Donna stood. "My door's always open to you, Jackie."

Nodding her head in understanding, Jackie listened to Donna step off the porch and into the house. With her absence, Jackie was suddenly left with nothing but her thoughts. She needed to talk to Steven. She was suddenly fearful that Donna would spill the beans before she had the chance to tell him herself. Is this how Steven felt when he had kissed Donna? That churn of guilt that gripped your belly and sent tingles up and down your limbs?

Jackie was still sitting on the porch when she heard the rumble of the Camino. She had finished her drink soon after Donna had left, but didn't pour herself another. Her body felt warm. Her head felt heavy. The croaking of the frogs and chirp of cicada's helped her fall into a stupor, waiting patiently on the porch for Steven to find her.

It didn't take him long. The heel of his boot stepped hard onto the concrete and he paused, taking her in.

Steven fell into Donna's vacated chair, eyeing the empty glasses on the table. "I'm guessin' Donna came by?"

"She stopped in." Jackie said.

"You two talk?"

"Yeah, a little bit." Jackie said. "She asked for my forgiveness."

"Did you? Forgive her, I mean."

Jackie sighed, her head leaning back against her seat. "I don't know."

"Yeah, she came to see me too." Steven said, settling into her chair.

"She said you were super stoned."

Steven chuckled. "Yeah, I was."

Jackie chewed on her lip, staring out across the lawn. It sloped up at the back, large Ash trees lining the fence and stretching their branches over the pool. Wind rippled the tall grass. As the sun finally fell behind the row of houses behind the Burkhart's, and the blue glow from the bug zapper lit their bodies, Jackie finally had worked the courage to speak. She felt like she would implode, a billion stars that would cover the patio and the lawn and even Steven himself. But she had to say it first. It had been eating at her since yesterday. She didn't do well with this kind of pressure; it was why she couldn't keep secrets. They bit at her heart and her stomach and she could feel a rash blossoming over her chest and shoulders.

"Steven." Jackie paused, sucking on her lips. He turned to her, face passive. "I've gotta tell you something."

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A/N: Don't worry, ducklings. There are still a couple chapters left, maybe two or possibly three. Oh, and did I mention that there will be a sequel? The Seeker was started with the intention of following Steven, but Jackie kind of took over, in a way she's want to do. Now this next story, which I've decided in my storyboarding will be called Twist of Fate, will equally follow the both of them. But never fear. We have to send all of our characters on their journeys.