This is a short one shot about Christian going Christmas shopping. My kids and I were watching Jingle all the Way the other day and this idea popped in my head.

Enjoy!

It's Christmas in two days and Ana is wrapping gifts for our family on the floor of our bedroom surrounded by a pile of wrapping paper and ribbon.

She waited until the kids went to sleep which took forever tonight. They are getting so excited, Teddy is 6 and Phoebe is 4 so they can't wait for Santa to come this year. I love the excitement and magic the kids bring to the holidays. They walk around the house singing carols and make everyone feel so joyful. I've even caught Sawyer and Taylor whistling Jingle Bells.

I come out of the bathroom after my shower with a towel wrapped around my waist, another towel in my hands drying my hair and watch Ana for a few minutes. She is still the most beautiful woman in the world. I'm one lucky son of a bitch. She has made this house a happy home and given me two wonderful children. I'm trying to convince her for a third. So far no luck.

"Hey, can you give me Teddy's gift that I asked you to pick up for me so I can wrap it."

I stare at her stunned. What gift? What is she talking about? She never told me to get his gift. Did she?

"Ummm.."

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

"I hope you're kidding. Christian Grey, if you have forgotten to pick it up I swear I will kill you. I asked you two weeks ago to pick up a Robosapien for Teddy. He has been asking for one for months now."

Oh, right. That damn annoying robot which talks and dances and follows you around the house. That's all he can talk about and every time he sees a Santa he makes sure to remind him to bring him one.

I do the only thing I can to save myself and lie.

"Of course I did but I've left it at my office at GEH. I'll go pick it up in the morning."

I'm not sure if she believes me but she doesn't say any more.

Once Ana has ridden my dick sore and fallen asleep I sneak out of our room and call Taylor.

"I'm in deep shit. I forgot to get Teddy's Christmas gift. Cancel everything for tomorrow morning, we're going shopping."

"But it's Christmas Eve," he tells me.

"I know."

"Okay but just be aware all the crazies will be out in force tomorrow."

I get up extra early in the morning, check on the kids and leave the house before anyone is awake.

Taylor drives us to the nearest toy store and we wait outside in the cold like morons for them to open up. What the hell is wrong with all these people, don't they have anything better to do?

Like I can talk.

When Taylor said crazies he wasn't wrong. As soon as the doors open I'm being pushed and shoved by the crowd. People start running through the store grabbing anything and everything. Holy shit, this is insane.

Looking around I see signs advertising the robot and walk in that direction dodging people. Luckily there's a few left, I grab one and make to leave when Taylor stops me.

"That's the wrong one, Sir."

"How do you know?"

"It's smaller than the one Teddy wants and this one doesn't have the wheels to follow him around."

When did he become a fucking toy expert? Looking at it closer I admit he's right and put it back on the shelf however I don't see any other different robots.

I grab a pimply teenage boy who works there as he passes by. His name tag says Felix. Who the fuck names their kid Felix?

"Do you have any of the larger Robosapien robots that follow you around in stock?"

He actually starts laughing at me. Keep laughing Felix I dare you.

"I'm sorry, we sold out of those ones two weeks ago. Try the toy store at the mall."

Fuck!

We make the ten minute trip over to the mall. Some fucker is in such a hurry he honks his horn and I almost get run over in the car park. I give him the finger and scream out Merry Christmas to you too fuck head.

That earns me dirty looks from the ladies with children around me. Please, as if your children have not heard anyone swear before. YouTube is filled with those videos.

I enter the massive Toys 'R' Us and search for the display. After exploring the store for what feels like an hour I spot it, they have one left. Hallelujah. I rush towards it and grab the box at the same time a little old lady does.

"Oh." She sweetly says. "I'm sorry young man but I was about to purchase this for my grandson."

I pull the box towards me.

"I need it for my son. I'm sure there's something else your grandson would like."

She turns from a sweet old lady into a demon woman with the strength to match.

"Let go," she snarls at me.

"No."

So there I stand pulling this box back and forth between us. I give a hard tug forcing it out of her hands. The momentum of the movement has the box smacking me on the mouth and cutting my lip. Leaning backwards I lose my balance and end up on my ass in the middle of the aisle.

Son of a bitch!

I don't believe it. That damn lady just snatched the toy right out of my hands and made a run for it.

"Chase her, Taylor, why are you just standing there?"

He's unsure whether I'm serious or not. I'm deadly serious. I need that robot.

I quickly stand up wiping at my lip, looking around the store but I've lost her. She's probably already gone.

Fucking hell! I was so close.

Two more stores later and still nothing. Seriously how many people are buying this damn toy?

The last store we were in I was minding my own business when I was crash tackled by a little girl carrying an ice-cream cone. Now I have a wonderful chocolate stain on my pants.

Next time I'm making sure these damn gifts are bought in August.

I'm sitting in the car hungry and starting to develop a headache.

Taylor is waiting on me to tell him where to go next. I pull out my phone and search for all the toy stores in the area.

There are four more.

It's not the end of the world yet. Ana may still not cut my balls off.

Looking at the time, three and a half hours have passed since I left the house.

It never takes me this long to drive to the office and back. Ana will definitely know something is up by now. I'm surprised she hasn't called me yet.

Think Grey. What can you do besides run around town like an idiot?

Of course, Mason Daniels, he owns one of the biggest toy stores in the state. We've met a few times at functions, hopefully he can hook me up.

I give him a call and understandably he's surprised to hear from me when he picks up.

"Hi Mason, busy day for you I take it."

"You can say that, what can I do for you?"

"Look, I'm going to be totally honest with you. My wife asked me to pick up our son's Christmas gift two weeks ago and I totally forgot about it. He wants a Robosapien robot. I've been to four stores already and they are all out. Is there any way you can tell me where I can find one or if you have any laying around somewhere. I'm desperate."

Fucker starts laughing.

"Oh man. I would hate to be you right now. Hang on for a few minutes, let me see what I can find in the system."

Please, God if you love me let him have one.

After what feels like an eternity he comes back on the phone.

"I have good and bad news. The good news is I do have some stock. The bad news is it's in L.A and there's no way I can get it here in time."

I really want to scream out of my frustration at this point but I take a deep breath and slowly let it out.

What if I send my jet for it? No, that's going to extremes and there's still no guarantee.

"Thanks anyway, Mason."

"No problem and Merry Christmas."

Yeah, yeah. If I live to see it.

"Merry Christmas."

I hang up and look at Taylor through the rear view mirror.

What now?

On to the fifth store I suppose.

This has to be the worst experience of my life. I love my children I do but do they really need to get what's on Santa's list. Why can't I just get Teddy a truck to play with? What the fuck was Ana doing anyway that was so important that she couldn't go out herself to get it.

I check my calendar for two weeks ago and look at our appointments. Well now I feel like shit. Ana had gone with Ray to a doctor's appointment and wasn't able to finish all her shopping. Ever heard of online shopping? Hey, that's a thought, we'll just tell Teddy Santa got delayed for 5 to 7 days.

As I'm trying to not get stampeded over by the crowd I witness two guys get into a punch up over some lego. I shake my head and move on.

There are people queuing up and waiting for the Barbie shelf to be re-stocked.

I've been run into by trolleys at least a dozen times. I'm certain my shins look like they've been through a war zone. Fuckers need a licence to manoeuvre those things.

Someone has ripped open a ball of those plastic coloured balls and they have rolled across the store tripping people over. Taylor being one of them who ended up on his back swearing like a sailor. If I wasn't feeling so stressed I would be laughing my ass off.

Five hours and eight stores later I'm on my way home to crush my son's dreams. He will hate me forever and Ana will probably cut me off for eternity.

"I'm sorry buddy." I say to my dick.

I give up, the toy is just not to be found. Ana has called me twice but I'm avoiding her calls.

We're stopped at the lights when I don't know what it is but something makes me look up.

It's there like a beacon of light in the darkness.

A tiny little corner toy store called Uncle Ted's Toys.

With that fucking robot smack bang in the centre of its display window.

"STOP THE CAR!" I scream at Taylor, scaring the shit out of him and almost causing an accident.

My heart is accelerating and I'm pointing like a little kid.

"Over there. Quick. Park over there."

Once the car has stopped I jump out and run over to the store. Its owner is standing at the door locking up for the day.

No, no, no, no, no!

You have got to be shitting me. Please, not again. Come on, let something go my way today.

"Hi, please, please, I'm begging you, can you please let me in. I need that Robosapien toy in your window for my son. I've been all around Seattle today since this morning, visited eight toy stores filled with crazy people and battled with little old ladies. I will pay you double, even triple the price if you just please for the love of God let me in to buy it. If I go home without it my wife will kill me I will ruin my son's belief in Santa and Christmas."

I beg him with my hands together in prayer. I feel like I'm going to start crying.

He must feel sorry for me.

"Oh alright, come on in. I remember when my kids were little and writing their letters to Santa asking for one thing over and over again. We can't have you being the bad guy at Christmas."

I could kiss him. I won't, but I could.

He unlocks the door and ushers me in.

I face Taylor who has followed me in.

"It's safe to go home, Taylor. I finally found one."

Fist pump moment.

"Thank god, otherwise you may have had to hide out at my place."

The gentleman was nice enough to gift wrap it for me and I paid him double the price even though he tried to not accept it but I insisted. He was my life saver today. I mean that literally.

Back in the car on the way home I finally relax and stare at the gift beside me on the seat. I am never going Christmas shopping again. I don't care what Ana says, never again. Even if she promises me a blow job every day for a year, not gonna happen.

I finally return home and the house is quiet. The kids must be down for their afternoon nap.

I climb the stairs and walk into our bedroom where I find Ana reading by the window.

I toss the box with the precious robot over to her and collapse on the bed face down, feeling battered with my cut lip and chocolate stained pants.

"You forgot didn't you?"

"Yep."

THE END