Chapter 1-Recruiting Time

"Goddamn...flippin'..morons…"

The man grumbled in anger, walking through the white hallways, passing by co-workers working at their desks. His face was contorted with rage as his employees moved out of his way, not in the mood to deal with his angers. The man struggled to keep his glasses on his face as he walked quickly towards a door. He burst through it in an over-the-top manner, fury ripping through his heart. He entered the dark room and walked towards his boss, who was sitting behind a black chair

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!", he screamed with a thick accent, "THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN!"

"What are you talking about?", the man behind the chair asked.

"Oh, don't play that with me!", the scientist shrieked, "I have looked over your "recruits" for this team and I am completely appalled!"

"What's wrong with them? They all fit the credentials we were looking for, right?"

"Yes, but...look at them!", the scientist pulled out a folder filled with papers regarding his..project. "Most of these recruits are just children! Mere, foolish children!"

"Look who's talking."

"I mean, have you seen the ones that I have recommended?! I have spent months planning on our recruits! MONTHS! I mean, come on! And yet, none of the ones that I have chosen have been considered!"

"We're looking for people, great men and women who have saved their worlds time and time again on a universal level. We're also looking for those that we can trust, whose motivations are purely focused on the missions assigned to them, not letting their personal lives block their concentration."

"...You realize we're talking about children here, right? The...embodiment of lack of concentration!", the scientist opened up his folder, "Look at the people that I have chosen! Warriors! Scientists! Living powerhouses! What could possibly be wrong with these choices!"

"Your choices, while they are definitely powerful allies, are far too preoccupied with their own situations to handle the constant missions that would be assigned to them. I also noticed how a few of your choices are very...distant emotionally, with very little regard for the people they protect."

"You want them to focus on the mission?", the scientist yelled, "Then you need some to be hardwired to not let their emotions get in the way! I mean, the mission is-"

*BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!*

Red lights flashed inside the room, the scientist and his boss shocked. A loud siren blared across the building, the sound of security guards and other workers running around to see what was the emergency.

"The security alarm!", the scientist yelled. He pulled out a walkie-talkie from his lab coat and contacted the head of security, "WHAT IS IT NOW?!"

"SIR, WE HAVE A BREACH ON FLOOR ZERO! I REPEAT, WE HAVE AN INTRUDER ON FLOOR ZERO!"

The young man's eyes widened, "The collection." He dropped the folder full of recruits and dashed into the halls of the building, pulling a revolver from his belt. He pushed through the workers running around in crazed fear. "MOVE! MOVE!" The man ran to the stairways, a large labyrinth of floors.

The scientist burst through the doors and ran down the stairs as fast as possible, screaming bravely. He then stumbled on his shoelaces and tripped down god knows how many stairs.

"Ow!" *BUMP* "Ow!" *BUMP* "OW!"

He eventually crashed onto the final floor, floor zero as the organization called it. He staggered as he pushed his glasses up and quickly regained his composure, running to the door and quickly putting in the security code.

He entered into a room flashing red. Around him were boxes and crates of all different sizes, clear containers with inventions and devices of all types. Security guards in black uniforms dodged the items scattered around the floor, weapons ready for battle. The scientist quickly ran in front of them, leading them to where the breach occurred. His brilliant mind was able to find where the intruder would be.

"COME ON! THIS WAY! GO!"

The security team made turn after turn after turn, running as fast as possible until…

*BOOM!*

A large explosion erupted, clouds of rock and dust engulfing the area. The team was blown back by the eruption, ash covering their bodies. The men slowly pushed themselves up, bracing themselves for an attack. The scientist groaned as he got up when he heard something run across the room. When he was finally able to put his glasses back on, he saw nothing but gray dust.

"GET UP NOW!", the scientist screamed, "NOW!"

The scientist pushed the soldiers away and rushed into the dust cloud, firing randomly into the dark. As the dust cleared he saw a massive hole in the middle of the wall, leading out into the green forest outside. He scanned the area, seeing much of the area on fire from the explosion. Glass was scattered everywhere, container tubes piled up and blocking the hall. A large, broken container sparked, electricity flying around the room and glass covering the floor around it. Whatever was in that container was now gone, the stand that the object was on now empty. As the other troops caught up with the scientist, the young man pulled out his walkie-talkie and contacted the boss.

"Sir, we have a problem. The intruder got away…Item #001, sir...Okay...I'll be right on it", the scientist hung up and turned to his co-workers, "Search the area! See if there's any way that he's still here!" He pointed to a few other soldiers, "You, prepare the chopper! Get the portals ready!"

He turned around and walked away, "Let's go to war."

….

Gravity Falls, Oregon. June 22, 2013.

Summer has once again began. The bright sun shone in the sky, slowly rising above the lush forests of the small town. Birds flew above the mysterious woodlands as a small bus drove down the empty road. The bus itself was empty, the only ones inside being the bus driver and the two passengers behind him.

The boy stared out the window, watching as the trees flew past him. His dark brown lumberjack hat laid on his lap with a large backpack on top of it, his hand gripping it tightly. He opened the bag a little and peeked inside, hoping his gift was safe. He pushed his brown, curly hair away from his face, the odd birthmark on his face being visible for a quick second. His nose sniffled, his allergies acting up again. A look of concern and anxiousness covered the young boy's face, his eyes wide with anticipation. It's been a year since he left this town, a year since the….

No, that was in the past. It was time to think positively. Time for excitement. Time for mystery. Time for-

"WADDLES!"

The boy jumped into the air once a large, pink pig jumped onto his lap, licking him playfully. The boy cringed, "AH! PIG GERMS! PIG GERMS!"

A young girl quickly grabbed the pig, its short hooved legs struggling to escape the child's grip. "No, Waddles! Piggy love is for me!", the young girl shrieked. Her brown curly hair swung around as the pig tried to escape. The hog eventually calmed and began rubbing her pink cheeks. The girl smiled, silver braces showing as the pig cuddled up with her. Her pink sweater was a little messy from the struggle, the shooting rainbow star stitched on it now covered with dust. She didn't mind however and simply played with the short animal.

The boy got up, brushing off the dirt on him, "Mabel, how many times have I told you to put a leash on that pig!"

"Oh come on, Dipper!", Mabel laughed, "When you have pure goodness like this, you need to let it be free."

The pig oinked in agreement, snuggling up next to the girl. Mabel chuckled, eyes wide with cuteness. Dipper snickered a little before looking outside and gasping.

"OH MY GOD!", Dipper yelled, "WE'RE HERE!"

The bus screeched to a halt as the two children ran out of the bus, suitcases in hand. They ran past a few trees and aimed straight for the porch of the small wooden tourist trap.

Sitting in the middle of the woods next to the road was the Mystery Shack. The small wooden shack resided quietly in the small field. They passed by a large red letter "S" sticking out of the ground, causing the sign on top of the small building to read "Mystery Hack".

The kids quickly barged through the door, ignoring the sign stating that it was closed. The two slowed down as they looked around the room in awe, remembering the beautiful house that they spent their summer in.

Mabel shrieked in happiness, "HELLO,MYSTERY SHACK! HELLO, DUSTY WINDOWS! HELLO, INDISCERNIBLE STAIN!"

Dipper looked around, nostalgia filling his heart. "Hello?! Anybody here?!"

A loud explosion rang out from behind them, red and purple smoke filling the room. A dark figure stepped up behind them.

"Welcome, seekers of wonder! Prepare yourself for endless...for endless...Heh heh, uh, line?"

The smoke cleared to reveal a tall, fat man in a black tuxedo,a small red hat, and an eyepatch over his left eye. He had large buckteeth and short brown hair, an overall goofy-looking face with a childish look in his eyes. The two kids dropped their bags and jumped onto the large man, hugging him.

"SOOS!", they both yelled out. The man in front of them was an old friend of theirs, Jesus "Soos" Ramirez. He started off as a handyman working for their great uncle, Stan Pines, the original owner of the Shack. After a series of adventures, most of them involving near death, he was appointed as the new boss of the shack, bringing along a new generation of scamming for the town.

"Dipper! Mabel!", Soos chuckled, rubbing the twins' heads, "What's up, lil' dudes? It's been ages!" He gasped when he saw Dipper, "Oh my gawsh, dude. Is that…?"

"Yep! Stubble!", Dipper cheered, "Your good friend, Dipper, is now a bonafide man!"

"HA! Says the guy still listening to BABBA!", Mabel laughed.

Dipper blushed and pushed Mabel jokingly, "Pff! Whatever. So, you're getting used to running the shack now?"

"Yep! The place is doin' better than ever! Plus, I've had some help!", Soos explained. From behind him, a pudgy girl with blondish-brown hair stumbled over to the group, a box full of firecrackers and tricks.

"Melody!", Mabel cheered. The young girl, Melody, met the group last year when an evil AI program attacked them. She quickly fell in love with Soos and found a way to leave her home in Portland to live at the shack as Soos's assistant.

"Hey, guys!", Melody waved, "How've you been?"

"Oh, you know, the usual!", Dipper said.

"Fighting demons, monsters, and other abominations against nature?", Melody asked.

"Not that type of usual", Dipper denied, "..Unless you count my Trig teacher."

Suddenly, Dipper felt his lumberjack hat being taken off of his head, "HEY! WHAT THE-?!" He looked up and gasped.

Behind him was a teenage girl with red hair and freckles. On her head was a blue and white hat with a blue pine tree on it. In her right hand was the child's hat, which she jokingly dangled in the air.

" 'Sup, shortstack?", she laughed.

"WENDY!", the two kids shouted. They ran up and hugged the teenager, who chuckled in a low voice. The teenager worked at the cash register and was one of the twins' closest friends. She was a chill type of girl, going with the flow, but willing to fight and go on adventures when the time came.

"Geez, you guys have been growing up?", she laughed, "Looks like puberty hit you like a train!"

"Did you see the stubble?", Soos asked Wendy.

"Stubble?", Wendy tilted her head, "What stu-WHOAH! HE HAS FACIAL HAIR?! HE'S ACTUALLY A MAN?!"

Dipper laughed, "Shut up, bro." Wendy smiled and took off the hat on her head and placed the blue cap on Dipper's head, placing the lumberjack hat on her head.

"By the way, you may wanna get that lice problem fixed", Wendy said. Dipper shrieked and began to brush his hair worriedly.

…

Soos and Wendy led the two upstairs and to their room. It looked the same as when they left, blankets and poster hanging around the bedroom.

"Okay, so we tried to keep it exactly like how you left it last year!", Soos pointed out.

"Minus the diseased rats", Wendy added.

"Minus the diseased rats", Soos added.

Dipper smiled, "This is-"

"AMAZING!", Mabel interrupted. She quickly ran to her bed and jumped on top of it, Waddles hopping on top of her. Dipper threw his bag on the bed and laid down, wrapping himself in the blanket.

"Thank God, a bed!", Dipper exclaimed, "This is much better than sleeping on a bus seat! Though just as smelly."

"Feels like nothing's changed!", Mabel sighed.

"The stubble disagrees", Soos laughed, followed by a playful elbow to the gut by Wendy.

"So", Dipper sat up, "Where's Grunkle Stan and Ford? Are they here yet?"

Soos and Wendy shared a look of concern, a feeling of awkwardness passing between them.

"Um..well, he's...uhh", Soos stumbled for words.

"He's not here, is he?", Dipper realized. Mabel looked up, shock hitting her heart.

"Guys, you know how busy they are on their own adventures", Wendy explained, "They're coming, but…they may not come back for a month or two."

"WHAT?!", the twins screamed.

"WE DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE OUR GRUNKLES FOR MOST OF THE SUMMER?!", Dipper yelled.

"NOOOO!", Mabel screamed out, grabbing her bag, "IF THEY CAN'T COME TO ME, I'LL COME TO THEM! AAAARGGHH!" She ran at the glass window and hit the hall, falling on her back comedically.

Dipper walked over to her sister and picked her up, "Come on, Mabel. It's okay."

"You come on, Dipper!", Mabel replied, "We finally come back here after all this time and our own family isn't here!"

"Geez, what are we? Chopped liver?", Wendy joked.

"Oh, sorry, guys, but I really REALLY wanted to see them again!", Mabel said.

"They'll come!", Soos assured, "Just...not for a while."

Dipper and Mabel sighed, disappointed. Their great uncles Stan and Ford were basically their idols, the men that they wished to grow up to become...minus the robbing, lying, and thieving nature. They were waiting the entire summer to see those two again and go on more adventures, solving mysteries and having fun! Now, they had to wait months for them!

Wendy trotted over and put her hand on the young boy's head, "Look, I know that you miss those guys, but if it makes you feel any better, you still got us."

"Don't worry, lil' dudes! We're gonna do our best to make this summer the best summer ever!" He quickly pulled the two into a large group hug, the two coughing as the large man strangled him.

"Soos, I'd like to LIVE to see that best summer", Dipper coughed. The man put the two down as they laughed.

"Thanks, guys", Dipper chuckled, "That means a lot to us."

"Don't worry, we're gonna spend all our time focusing on making your summer perfect!", Wendy assured. She then looked down and noticed her watch, "OH MY GOSH, WE DON'T HAVE TIME! SOOS, THE SHACK'S ABOUT TO OPEN!"

"OH MY GOSH!", Soos screamed. He fumbled with his eyepatch and charged down the stairs, Wendy running behind him. The two stood in the middle of the room, getting their stuff out of their bags.

Mabel sighed, "You know, maybe it won't be so bad. I mean, we've got Wendy, we've got Soos, we've got Candy and Grend-CANDY AND GRENDA! OH MY GOD! WHERE'S THE PHONE! I GOTTA MAKE PLANS! TO THE PHONE, WADDLES!" She quickly jumped on top of the hog and rode outside of the room, leaving Dipper on his own.

Dipper chuckled. He was taking out his stuff when he found his gift lying inside the backpack. He frowned, picking up the wrapped present and feeling all the joy about this trip nearly fly away. At least I've got my friends here, he thought to himself, Hey, maybe I could go find Pacifica. We could hang out. Still, even if he did have fun, it wouldn't be the same without Stan and Ford.

…..

The forest was quiet, everything seeming peaceful and serene.

Suddenly, a loud flash lit up the sky. A bright, purple vortex suddenly appeared in the middle of the bright, blue sky. It looked as though the sky itself was being pulled into the portal, wind spinning around it.

From the portal, a large helicopter flew out of it. Inside the helicopter, the scientist and the other soldiers working for him were flying over the trees, surveying the area for their target.

"Set a course for the Mystery Shack", the scientist ordered the pilot, "If I'm correct, the targets are there."

"Yes, sir", the pilot responded. The helicopter sped up, preparing for what was to come.

….

"And here you can see the reverse-centaur! If you look closely, you can see the remains of the spells used by the wizard who cursed him!", Soos lied to the tourists. He was walking around the shack, giving a tour to the tourists who came to the shack looking for fun.

He presented to them artifacts and objects, each one made by him and Stan and each one of them containing some false backstory which they used to make money off the poor suckers.

Wendy sat behind her desk, reading a magazine and ignoring the people trying to purchase tacky gifts from the giftshop.

….

Mabel was busy calling her friends in Stan's old office, making plans to hang out, "What do you mean he broke up with you?!...Trust me, girl! You should go to him and give him the sucker punch of a lifetime!...I don't care if it will start a global feud! He ditched you, sistah!"

….

Dipper, however, didn't feel like helping out in the shack. He just felt tired. He was sitting outside, his backpack right next to him, as he simply lay on the grass, looking out into the forest. He could hear something move around in the bushes.

Dipper shrugged, "Hmm, probably just a goblin."

After destroying the most dangerous creature of the universe last year and facing threats that no normal man could comprehend, stuff like monsters and demons no longer really fazed the kid. In fact if anything, he was excited. Excited to find out what else was out there! To do something of worth! To solve the greatest mysteries out there!

But, here he was, simply sitting there, waiting. He sighed happily, dreams of heroism and bravery flowing through his head.

Out of nowhere, he heard something. A large shadow passed over him as the wind began to pick up. He looked up and gasped.

From above, a large black helicopter floated above him , slowly landing down in front of him. The kid backed up, wondering what the heck was going on. Out of the helicopter, a troop of soldiers popped out, guns in their hands as they ran around, making sure that the area was clear of anyone else. A few of them ran up to Dipper, guns pointed at them.

The teen screamed, "Holy Christ, don't kill me! Oh my God, my Trig teacher sent you, didn't she?!"

The soldiers whispered to one another, pulling out a photo of Dipper from their pocket. They nodded as one of them whistled towards the helicopter. Dipper sweated, panicking on the inside.

From the helicopter, the scientist walked out, a small pistol in his side. He had bright red hair and large glasses over his face, making him look intimidating as the sun reflected of his glasses. He wore a long white coat with black gloves, a folder full of papers in his hands. He slowly walked towards Dipper, a serious look on his face.

"Are you Mason Pines?", the scientist asked in a thick Eastern European accent.

Dipper gulped, afraid of what to say. For all he knew, they were here to assassinate him or something! Afraid of what to say, he quietly nodded, sweat dripping over his forehead.

The scientist grunted, "Don't worry. Everything is fine."

He signaled for the soldiers to put down their guns. He walked closer to Dipper, looking the boy directly in the eye. Dipper felt fear gripping his heart. He had history with the government and he was praying to God that this wasn't some elaborate revenge plot from Agent Powers and Triggers. The scientist pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and frowned.

"My name is Dexter", he said, "And I am an agent of C.L.U.B."

And so the story begins!

In case you're wondering, that is Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory. I wanted to make him a teenager in this version to show how old his cartoon is compared to Dipper's. And yes, there won't be that much of Stan and Ford in this story...I think the entire Gravity Falls fan base just sent a hit out on me for that.

Anyways, please review!