ZAGR Misunderstandings.

Writer: Invader Johnny.

Summary: Zim and Gaz have been dating for a while, but all of the sudden Gaz starts to ignore him, the Irken, so he comes up with a rather stupid plan to get her attention… kidnapping her brother on family night… the scary human won't be very happy to say the least.

Author Notes: Just to let you all know that Gaz is 16, Dib is 17 and I have no clue how old Zim would be since I don't really care enough to do the math for the whole Irk/Earth years equation... but if I had to make an an educated guess, then I would think Zim would be at least 164 Earth years and 16 in Irken years.

I really missed writing Invader Zim stories, particulary involving some ZAGR, as a result? I came up with this, an ironic story seeing as this came while writing a Jori story for the Victorious fandom.

That's a wandering mind for you.

"I'm gonna murder him!"

Gaz Membrane, the most dangerous person one could possibly have the misfortune of meeting was currently on one of her rare moments of heroism, yup she was about to save her brother's life yet again from the deranged an idiotic alien known she has known since 4th grade.

"Zim, you stupid bastard!"

Ah, but unlike any normal sibling Gaz wasn't going to save her brother's horrible existence because she loved him, oh no quite the contrary, the scary teenager was saving Dib because family night starts in less than an hour and she wasn't about to let him ruin their once a year bonding with their father, Professor Membrane.

She was currently driving her motor-bike, her knuckles turning as white as they could due to the pressure she was putting in them, if Gaz wasn't wearing a helmet you could see the flames from hell in her amber eyes… oh she was going to kill someone tonight all right, and luckily for her brother her target of her aggression was not him.

"How dare he kidnap my idiot, big headed brother tonight OF ALL NIGHTS?!"

She had put with a lot since she met the Irken Invader, his ranting on how the humans were inferior to Irkens, his incompetence to destroy the planet and even having to go to a dance with him because they were forced to.

But when Zim got in the way of free pizza shorts, her patience flew out the window and all she cared about was to cause him as much physical pain as humanly possible.

"May your Tallest help you if I'm late for my pizza dinner Zim!"

The motor-bike went faster.

As soon as the green house was in sight Gaz slowed down and parked in front of it, it was amazing how no one noticed just how out of place the base was…

"It really is an eye sore."

But then again she didn't really care about Zim's lack of human understanding or subtlety, all she cared at the moment was knowing that her brother was not dead… at least not yet.

Gaz walked as if she owned the place, the lawn gnomes watched her. She watched them back, they did not try to restrain her, they didn't even have their weapons out or attempted to transform into spider-robot things, the scary human raised an eyebrow skeptically "Odd, usually Zim is too paranoid about his security system".

That alone told the scary girl that something was not right.

She gave the gnomes one last suspicious glance over her shoulder, then reluctantly knocked on the purple door three times. She grudgingly agreed to have a "secret knock" only because Zim wanted a way of knowing who was at his door until Gaz had to remind him that he had cameras all over the neighborhood and there was no need for stupid "precautions" like this.

Though she only did this to shut him up, not because she cared.

… She never cared.

"Hello?" She grunted. When no one answered the door she knocked again, more forcefully this time, she shrugged and tried the handle. It opened with ease.

"Oookay" Gaz slowly muttered as she pushed inside. Usually if she wanted to get inside Zim's base she had to pick the lock. Or short it, depending on what kind of lock the Irken used. "That was way too easy, Zim…what the hell are you up to?"

Gaz eyed the room almost expecting Zim or Gir to jump from the ceiling and tackle her to the ground in a pathetic attempt at being sneaky.

Silence was all that greeted her.

The female walked across the living room, she noticed the green monkey portrait was missing and replaced with a map of the world, there were tiny red dots indicating all the important places in the globe, she smirked.

Gaz remember giving this to him on their first date a few months ago, hoping that with this information Zim would actually destroy the human race, sadly that has not the case, much to her growing annoyance.

Once she entered the kitchen she noticed a small table on top of the regular size table, obviously Gir was having yet another tea party with the pig, but one thing was disturbing about this picture… there was a full plate of tacos, the little robot did not even grab them.

Gaz touched one "Still warm."

Ok she was officially freaked out.

"COMPUTER!"

"WHAT?!"

"At least your still here."

If the artificial being had a face he would show well…. confusion! "Where the hell would I go?"

Gaz opened an eye in irritation "Never mind" She grunted "Tell me something… where is Zim?"

The computer said something that sounded like an "I dunno."

"Why am I not surprised?" Gaz muttered.

"I heard that."

"Good, you were suppose to."

The computer groaned, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"What have I told you about calling me that?" Gaz snarled as she clenched her firsts.

"Ok… Gaz… whatever… just answer the question… Damn… I dunno who do I hate more you or Zim."

The teenager grinned "Now I remember why we get along."

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes "LOOK, your stupid master kidnapped my stupid brother and I want him back!"

"Err… why?"

Gaz raised an eyebrow.

"I mean from the way to talk shit about the Dib-thing you obviously hate him as much as everyone else here so I'm kinda lost on why you would bother to rescue him in the first place?"

She made a sound that came across suspiciously like a snort and responded with indifference "Family night."

"Ah" the computer immediately understood "Are you gonna hurt Zim when you find him?"

She shrugged "If I feel like it".

"Can I watch?" The computer asked hopefully.

"If I find him" She smirked evilly.

The computer silently gave her a futuristic like camera with the Irken insignia on it, which Gaz took with a raised eyebrow.

"Press the red button and you can record the ass whopping you'll be sure to give him."

"I still need to know his whereabouts."

"Let me check something." The computer rumbled for a bit.

"What are you doing?" Gaz asked suspiciously.

"I'm looking for his PAK signal."

"… And?"

"Bad news...He's still on Earth."

"Why is that bad news?"

"I was hoping he would have imploded somewhere in outer space."

Gaz was getting impatient, which was never a good sign.

For anyone.

"WHERE IS HE?!"

"You're not gonna believe this."

"Try me."

"I can't believe this!"

Gaz was back at square one, she was in front of her house, in moments like these the scary human questioned Zim's intelligence, there was obviously something wrong with him.

"I know shouldn't be surprised" Gaz thought irritated "But damn, every time Zim's stupidity amazes me!"

The girl was back in her home.

"All this time Zim was most likely hiding in my garage." Gaz grumbled "He has a hell of better places where he can torture my brother and he doesn't even bother to think his final hideout?... I seriously need to re-think why I'm dating the moron."

Gaz stomped her way towards her house, more accurately her garage, her aura of hate and revenge was getting stronger by the second.

Her shadow overtook the garage, as if her foul mood would signify doom to whoever was inside.

Which pretty much was the case.

Gaz kicked the door and it opened as it made a noise which resembled a whimpering that a dog would made.

"ZIM!... YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON ON WHY..." She stopped mid sentence at what she was witnessing "The fuck?"

The alien was in front of Tak's ship, boredom apparently in his features as he repeatedly pressed a button over and over.

Why? Simply put Gaz could see her brother within the vessel, trapped by many metals which she assumed they serve the purpose of getting him electrocuted, his muffled screaming were an indication that the shock of electricity got stronger every time Zim pressed the button evidently giving him unimaginable agony.

"GAZ!" He muffled then scream in pain yet again.

Zim turned around, indeed his love-pig was there "Hello Little Gaz."

"What the hell are you doing to my brother, Zim?!"

"Making him suffer." He replied monotonously, he lifted the control in her direction "Wanna try?"

"Ummm." Gaz pondered this for a moment "Maybe later... For now I wanna know what day is it today."

Zim shrugs "I dunno... Tuesday?"

"Yes!" She growled "The same night I told you I had plans with my father!"

"Oh, that was today?"

"Yes! And what did I tell you it would happen to you if you managed to interfere with that tonight?"

"Pain... Lots and lots of pain."

Gaz pressed her knuckles "Oh yeah, and guess what? I'm a girl of my word so unless you have a very good reason as to why you kidnapped my annoying brother, I'm going to rearrange your organs, Zim!"

"Last I checked Gaz-Beast you never mentioned your brother unit in your plans." Zim said "And since you haven't exactly spend too much time with Zim, your amazing boyfriend, I just didn't feel like taking over the world tonight so I settled for torturing the Dib-Stink, which it isn't as fun as I remembered."

He pressed the button again and Dib let out an agonising scream.

"Oh, so you found a loophole."

"A what now?"

"Never mind." Gaz hissed exasperatedly"Wait... So you simply decided to kidnap my idiot brother because you were bored?"

Zim grunts in affirmative.

"Help me Gaz!"

Instead of helping her brother, who was in no doubt in agonizing pain. Gaz sat next to the alien "Zim, tell me the truth, did you kidnapped Dib just to get my attention just so I would spend sometime with you?"

"Erm... Would you still hit me if I say yes?"

"Very much so."

"Then... No?."

Gaz rolled her eyes, "He just had to make it sound like question." So she punched him where his nose would be.

"Ack! My face! My glorious face!"

The purple headed teen rolled her eyes "Whiner."

"What was that for?!" Zim snarled "I said no!"

"And did you really expect me to believe you?"

"Yes!" He snapped "Zim is an amazing liar!"

"Hardly." She sneered, while she grabbed him by his uniform "You and I have lots to talk about, but that will have to wait."

"Because tonight is your disgusting pizza night?"

"Yes and no..."

Zim raised an invisible eyebrow at that. "Eh?"

"I think it's time my dad knows I have a boyfriend, maybe that way he'll be a bit more fatherly and not so focused on his job, after all there nothing that drives a father crazy like finding out his little girl is dating."

"So you're gonna using my amazingness for you own selfish ways?" Zim asked, then grinned evilly "I underestimated you Gaz-Beast."

Gaz in turned grinned "Oh don't worry, I'll make it worth your while."

As both of them walked out of the garage, Dib tried to get their attention so they would let him out, which of course much to his disappointment the duo choose to ignore, then he heard a metallic noise.

"Yawn!" Gir said as he rubbed his face, slowly his cyan eyes saw the remote left behind by Zim.

"Ohh what does this button do?"

Dib's eyes widened, moving wildly to try to get the robot's attention, which of course didn't work since Gir began to press the button repeatedly.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!"

Dib's hair then was set on fire due to the electricity.

"Weeee this music is fun!"

You guys didn't think I was about to forget about good old Gir, right?

I'm such a jerk for causing Dib so much pain, But I gotta love that he indirectly causes some nice ZAGR moments, LOL.

Overall, what did you guys though of this random piece of work?

Invader Johnny Signing Off.