It's been ages, I know. I apologise. I hope this makes up for it. I've been meandering my way through writing short bits of many stories because I haven't had the motivation to write for quite a while, but the last two nights I've picked this chapter up from around 1,000 words to 2,000 - and I know it's still not that many but it's a start. And a filler chapter. Because next chapter will have to include the journey and probably the sorting and everything, right?!

WARNING: mild self harm, panic attack

"Excuse me?" Newt's eyes were downcast as he spoke to the official that was helping people. The man turned towards him with a sympathetic smile. It was obvious that he was lost or had been left behind by a guardian, and for a child that looked to be around eight that was severely worrying. if this had been a less busy day he may have asked the child to wait with him until his parents appeared or to go up to the ticket desks. As it was, though he may be sympathetic he was also hassled and wanted to be rid of the child as soon as possible.

"Can I help you?" He asked.

"Yes; please." The boy's large hazel eyes flickered upwards for a second before swiftly downturning again. They looked to be watering. The official felt bad for what was going to be a quick dismissal before ridding his mind of the emotion. If he was generous in helping people with their problems he'd never get anything done. Anyway, it wasn't as if he were likely to be hurt in the crowds of a train station and with the beastly bird in the cage protecting him. The creature's own eyes had turned to meet the boy's through the bars of its cage.

Who sent a kid to a train station alone with a massive bird? He knew there was a school that included the creatures but those children always had at least one parent with them. They also gained a sibling or two that went to the same school before they graduated. He was shaken from his thoughts by the child's small voice, almost drowned out by the surging voices of the hubbub.

"Do you know where Platform 9 ¾ is please?"

The man was so absorbed in looking after the youngster and checking that nothing was happening around them that for a second he didn't register what had been said.

"Of course. It's right down- wait." He noticed. "What did you say?" Was a joke being played on him? Send a young, nervous child to ask him a ridiculous question that'd make him look stupid? Well, it wouldn't work. He was not going to be made into a joke. His friends and the other officials knew that this day was hard, and he would not be played a fool when he had so many other things on his mind.

"There is no Platform 9 ¾." the officer deadpanned. "Who put you up to this?" Maybe Archie or Harry, he thought. Both of the braggarts would find this funny even though it was insensitive. They also both had enough money to hire a street urchin, clothe him and buy him some empty cases and a bird. He wondered how they'd found the boy though, he was a remarkably good actor although that could just be because he was used to stealing after a pity show.

The tears filling the boy's eyes and making them a watery green seemed real, pulling furrows onto the lad's face. It was either a good act or- the official faked a snort. He couldn't seem weak, but if this kid had been tricked into believing that there actually was a Platform 9 ¾, he was being cruel.

"You're going to have to do better than that, boy." The official snarked. If Harry didn't laugh and tease him about this later he was going to feel awful. Tears were running out of the corners of the youngster's eyes now. He seemed to be curling in on himself, shoulders hunching and eyes removing themselves once more to the floor. He was shuffling away slowly but there was still no one there to collect him. His gaze flicked up occasionally to peer around and make sure he wasn't going to back into anyone else. The official noticed that the bird in the cage was getting restless as the boy seemed to become more distressed. It shrieked once, a shrill scream that paused the chatter around them for a moment before it started back up when everyone confirmed an official of the law was taking it in hand. The man decided to rid himself of the boy before he because more of a nuisance and troubled.

"Oh, hush. We both know that you're putting on an act, boy. Now, Platform 9 is just down that way if you want it, but just get out of my sight." His tone was harsh and unforgiving, a clear dismissal. The boy nodded hastily and manouvered the trolley around before walking away, his thin shoulders hunched and his strides long. It was the self-conscious walk of someone who wanted to disappear but was trying to look strong. The owl on the trolley had turned its head to peer back at him with a ferocious yellow gaze. It was unnerving.

The official turned to let him go then stopped. It might sound harsh but the child needed a warning at least.

"Oh, and boy!" He called. The youngster halted and looked back. The official smiled languidly at him. Harry wouldn't be able to laugh at him now. "If your owl causes problems the train line will have to take it away."

Newt choked in a gasp and started walking as swiftly as his legs could carry him. The official had been so kind at first, and then had reverted into… that. A cruel, smirking… Newt didn't know what but he had been so cruel. He felt tears selling up again and shook his head to try and dislodge them. Alden crooned at the boy as she felt the tremors wrecking down his arms and into the trolley. She had only been with him for a short time yet already had the knowledge all animals instinctively gain for the character of a human, and she knew that her human was good. He was good, but he was pain filled. She had to be kind to this one. She would be kind for she was only alive because he had rescued her. They were going to put her down, she knew. She wasn't good for a breeding bird and she had too much curiosity to be a good messenger bird. She kept flying off on a quest instead of going straight from place to place. The boy had stopped them, had explained that he needed an owl anyway and had swapped his own owl, a beautiful tawny, for her. Saul, that was the name of the other owl. They had called to each other in the Owlery. They have become as close to friends as the individual predators could. There were no hard feelings between them.

He brushed a fingertip through the bars of her cage and rubbed her beak gently, a show of affection he knew she liked. Alden rubbed herself against his gentle hands, showing her appreciation. Her smooth white feathers brushed against his hand with a downy softness that smoothed his racing pulse slightly.

Newt felt an uncertain smile tug at one corner of his mouth.

"Thank you." He whispered to her. He wasn't certain how much she understood but he knew that she was intelligent. It also never hurt to be polite.

The short, grateful, respite didn't last long. It was already 10.30 am and Newt hadn't seen anybody else. No other wizards at least. He supposed they had already arrived at the train, were late or he'd missed them all. But he had to find the way in swiftly, he just had to. He didn't know what his Mother would do if he didn't even get to Hogwarts. If he didn't even make it to the platform.

If only Theo were here to help him find his way. It was unfortunate that the first time Newt was ever going to Hogwarts was when Theo had gone to stay at a friend's house for first time in the last couple of weeks before school began, and it was even more unfortunate that the friend lived near Hogsmeade so neither were catching the train.

It also meant that Newt was all alone in the suffocating atmosphere of the busy train station. His throat was constricting from the fumes pumping out. The smell was making him gag and the noise was deafening and irritating and he was being so irrational, he knew that, but he couldn't help it. His senses were being overloaded and everything was too bright, too loud, too much all at once.

He was still standing up, located somewhere near the Platform 9 opening, but his vision was going. Black spots danced in the way of his sight and his breath was rasping heavily through his lungs. He was trembling but but had no desire to do anything but move. The official that had besmirched him earlier occasionally glimpsed the youngster through the hordes of people, but with the day beginning his attention was mostly focused on helping the knowledgeable lost. Newt could see that, see the occasional glances flicked his way as he paced. Alden called to him in a low croon but even the thought of her feathers now made him panic. Toomuchtoomuchtoomuch. He just needed somewhere quiet and he'd be fine. He raked his nails against his wrist. Pain helped focus him, and he needed to focus. Stop being so worthless. Discover the entrance. Stop being stupid.

Newt was lost and scared amongst the crowds of King's Cross Station with no idea where to go.

Newt was being stupid.

Newt was worthless.

It took almost ten minutes of gasping for the panic attack to end. By that time Newt was sweating and shaking in a small crevice located in one of the pillars he'd found. It had a big 9 on it. It felt rough, like the walls in the cellars at home. He wanted to go home. He was only eleven, he was not old enough to be out by himself, and though he may not be happy in the mansion he was, at least, safe (enough). Right now he had no clue where he was, where he was meant to go or how to get home. The official-looking man had laughed him away and everyone else was in such a hurry that he couldn't possibly ask them. No one had cared that he had not been able to see or breathe. Everyone was too busy with their own lives because no one person mattered in the grand scheme of things. At least not someone like him.

He wasn't going to get to go to Hogwarts.

He wanted to matter.

The epiphanies were a moment of clarity for Newt. The fact that he was prepared to go meant… something, he was sure, but his mother expected him to find his way by himself. If he couldn't do it he would be labelled as stupid, worthless, unworthy of the family name. He needed to find the platform. If he could do this, if he could prove himself, then he was not worthless. If he was not worthless he could build himself into being something.

And it was there, in the bright sunlight of a crisp September morning, that Newt Scamander started to grow a flexible but unrelenting mettle. His goals would be set and he would achieve them through whatever ways possible.

He thought about his problem. He was to go to Platform 9 ¾ and he would not have been sent to the wrong place, yet this was a Muggle habitat so therefore the entrance would be hidden. If he could just believe in himself he was sure to find the magic and be able to use it. If he could believe.

He fell backwards, pulling his trolley with him. The magic felt like warm maple syrup. It welcomed him and pulled him into a new world, a safe one. A magical one that welcomed oddities. He'd found the entrance.

The other station had a great black steam train on the tracks. It was majestic and clearly labelled as the Hogwarts Express. Witches and wizards of all ages bustled around the platform. Some were hurrying their children or making last minute checks of belongings. Some were students telling for their friends or hugging their families goodbye. Everyone has a place from variety of parents to the children of all ages clambering onto the train in a great cacophony of noise and joy. It was the sort of atmosphere that made you feel included even though you had not actually stepped inside its exuberant bubble yet. It was the sort of atmosphere that you would forever wish to be part of if you weren't. It was the sort of atmosphere that made Newt feel wholly uncomfortable because he had never been able to fit in with the people that made bubbles like this, that had empathy for everything and everyone or were merely caught up in their friendships. Newt was always the outsider, the only one excluded. He had learnt to stay with the beasts.

Here, though. Here. Here was a new place, one where Newt might just possibly fit in. He could carve a place for himself perhaps. Maybe beside that girl with the long blonde hair and glasses. Maybe beside that short boy with red hair, an extortionate amount of freckles and a confident sneer. Maybe not. Yet it was a whole world of possibilities that Newt had not explored a slightest part of. He was eager to start.

For all of my reviewers: thank you all so, so much. You guys are the reason I keep writing and every time I click on a review it is honestly heart stopping so when I realise that it's a compliment it's just the best thing ever.

For guest B3b3, if you still want to point out my typos and stuff I'd love that, thank you so much for telling me. (I would go and try to sort it out now but the file isn't saved on here anymore so I'll have to search for it.) I do tend to rush the ending of each chapter quite often so hopefully I've managed that better in this one.

Guest: :)))) thank you ahhh

Guest: Newt shall not brag but I promise that he will¿ Or at least someone will brag for him I guess (He's so nice and smol that I don't think he'd brag on purpose but newspaper articles and maybe Tina just going hey look how amazing your son is yeah? He is so much better than you!)

CC: Thank you so much, I really hope that I continue being able to do that :)

Guest: I will. And I will try to update more swiftly as well.

To everyone else that took the time to review I've tried to respond in PMs quite often but if I haven't just know that I am eternally grateful for your support and constructive criticism/commendations about what exactly I'm doing well are just amazing and thank you all so much!