"You have to promise me, please, Noll?"

The train rattled as it came to a stop. Oliver Davis stood up and collected his belongings. This consisted of a raincoat and a rucksack. He joined the queue of returning soldiers to disembark the train.

He knew who would be waiting for him and what he had to do now.

Oliver stepped down onto the platform and smiled as he spotted a small group of people. His mother, his father and his sister-in-law.

"There!" Mai exclaimed, pointing towards him. "But where's…"

Oliver stepped towards the trio. He caught Mai as she threw her arms around him and kissed her on the forehead. He accepted his mother's hugs and his father's handshake.

"Did you not get my letter?" he asked. "About Noll?"

They shook their heads slowly, uncertain.

"Where is he, Gene?" Mai asked. Her eyes scanned the platform as if expecting the other twin to appear with a characteristic lack of enthusiasm for public displays of affection.

"He was killed."

Luella's face paled. Her knees buckled and Martin had to catch her before she hit the floor.

"No… You're lying!" she gasped. "He can't be…"

Oliver shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Mum," he said, holding his arms out to comfort his mother. She fell onto his chest and soaked his shirt with her tears. "There was nothing I could do."

This latter part was true. There had been nothing he could have done to save his twin. Oliver had been kept behind to help with the communications, as he had some knowledge of electronics. Gene, on the other hand…

"How did it happen, son?" Martin asked.

"A tank." Oliver felt no need to elaborate on this statement. What good would it do to tell them that Gene had been deafened by explosions and ploughed into by the enemy?

The little family stood without speaking. The only sound they could hear was Luella's sobs. Oliver looked to Mai, who stood silently crying. Gene would have hated the sight. It had been everything he had wanted to stop.

Yet the fact that Mai cried for him gave Oliver some solace. He felt sick for even thinking it.

"Perhaps we should head home," Martin said after some time. "You can both stay with us tonight, how about that?"

This latter part had been for Luella's benefit more than anyone else's. But Oliver did not object and neither did Mai. They walked together to the Davis household without speaking. Martin supported his wife the entire way, while Oliver stayed by Mai's side.

No sooner had they stepped in the door than Mai had begun doing minor chores. She shut the curtains, straightened the cushions and picked up the odd dirty plate. Oliver watched as she navigated around the furniture with such ease that it led him to believe she had often been around at his parents while he and Gene had been at war.

"I'll start tea," Luella said in a shaking voice.

"I'll help you," Mai said, feigning a smile.

Oliver knew both women wanted to keep busy to avoid their grief.

"Take a seat son, you must be tired from the journey," Martin said, gesturing to one of the armchairs.

Oliver sat and glanced around. The room was just as he remembered it, bar a new plant on a side table. He recognised it as a herb, though he was not sure what kind. Coriander, perhaps?

"When did it happen?" Martin asked.

It took Oliver a moment to realise what his father had asked.

"A few months ago, maybe two," he replied. "I sent a letter at the time… But wartime communication is not always straightforward or reliable."

"And his body?"

"Lost. The battlefields…" Oliver trailed off as the image came to mind. "They were like swamps of mud. It'll take months, if not years for them to be cleared and restored to usable land. They might find his body then."

He looked away from his father, realising his clinical tone sounded too much like himself.

"There is always that hope," he added.

Mai walked in at that moment, holding a tray with shaking hands.

"Here you go Martin," she said as she handed over a cup of tea. "And for you," she turned to Oliver, "Milk and two sugars, just how you like it." She gave him a half smile as he took the cup.

Of course… Gene liked milk and sugar with his tea. Not that he had had it like that during the war. Sugar was rare and milk practically unheard of when it came to the low ranking soldiers.

Oliver stared at the milky tea. He preferred his tea black, but he had no choice now.

"Is it okay?" Mai asked, worry etched into her face.

"I have not had milk and sugar in my tea for a while, that's all."

He smiled and took a sip to ease her concerns. It was hot, but not undrinkable.

"Thank you."

Mai returned his smile and left a plate of homemade biscuits on the coffee table.

Would Gene have taken one? Oliver wondered. Probably. Gene liked sweet things. So Oliver reached forwards, took a biscuit and bit into it.

"Your mother made them this morning," Martin told him.

"They're good," Oliver said. "I haven't had anything like this in a while, it's nice."

An uncomfortable silence fell that Oliver thought Gene would have broken. But he did not know what to say.

"Where are you going?" Mai asked, frowning.

Oliver had walked straight past Gene's bedroom and towards his own. Realising his error, he turned to face Mai.

"I... I just wanted to look," he lied. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Mai joined him and took his hand, "I know this must be hard for you."

Mai had no idea how true that statement truly was.

She led him to his own room and opened the door.

"We haven't touched anything in here," she told him. "I went in your room a few times. But we left Oliver's room alone. Thought he would not want us to touch it. You know what he was like..."

Oliver smiled at the truth of the statement.

His room had a fine layer of dust covering it. The books on his shelves were as he remembered them, in alphabetical order. His bed remained unmade, from years prior. That surprised him, surely Luella would have washed the bedding?

Apparently not.

"Do you want a moment alone?"

Oliver nodded.

"I'll go and get ready for bed, unless… If you don't want to share a bed, I understand." Mai's voice was earnest, yet Oliver could hear the undertones of bracing herself for the worst.

They would be expected to share a bed. They thought he was Gene. They thought he was her husband.

"It's fine. I'll be through in a minute," he said.

"Okay." She left.

Oliver sat on his bed and took everything in. His chest was heavy with the lies he had told. His head ached at the thought of the lies he had yet to tell.

Deciding that sitting around was not going to help, Oliver stood and headed to the bathroom. He changed into the pyjamas Mai had left there for him.

When he entered Gene's bedroom, Mai was already in bed, sat up and waiting for him. He glanced around.

"I cleaned a bit in here, I'm sorry," she said.

"It's fine. I appreciate it, really."

Mai patted the bed beside her. How could he have forgotten so quickly? Sharing a bed with his brother's wife… He had had idle fantasies of being close to Mai like this before ━ and during ━ the war, but now that it was coming true under such false pretences, Oliver was not sure he wanted it anymore.

Oliver sat down but did not slip his legs under the duvet as expected by Mai.

"Are you okay?"

"I get nightmares," he whispered.

Another truth. Every night, Gene's death haunted him.

"Okay. Do you… Do you want me to wake you if you get one?"

Oliver nodded. Waking would be better than sleeping through it, he supposed.

He flicked the lights off and lay down, allowing Mai to pull the duvet over him. Oliver had forgotten how touchy Mai could be, especially towards his brother. She crept closer, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Gene."

"What for?" Oliver asked.

"I have been scared since you left that only one of you would come back," Mai admitted, then her voice cracked, "I'm such a horrible person."

"Why?"

But Oliver thought he knew why.

"I prayed that if only one of your were to return, that it would be you."

Oliver felt wet tears soaking through his pyjamas and onto his skin. He could feel the guilt radiating from Mai as she cried, but he could not absolve her of it.

"I worried about leaving you alone," he told her.

Gene had worried about that. Leaving Mai alone in the world with no one to care for her. As if that would ever happen, everyone cared about Mai.

"I even asked Noll to promise to look after you if I didn't make it."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Then I'm glad it was you that came back," Mai said, "as Noll would have hated looking after me!"

Oliver's heart panged. What on earth did she think of him?

"Why do you say that?" he asked in a neutral voice.

"I should not speak ill of the dead..."

"He can't hear you and I won't tell," he coaxed, knowing Mai would not resist him for long.

"I don't think Oliver liked me very much," Mai said in a low voice. "I know he did not have many friends but… He was especially distant with me. I sometimes wondered if he thought I was stealing you from him. Which was never my intention, but… I could think of no other reason for his behaviour."

Oliver remained still, not reacting to Mai's words though he knew she expected something from him after a statement like that. How could he tell her that it was quite the opposite?

How could he tell her that he had stayed away because being in love with your brother's wife was not considered acceptable?

"Noll wouldn't be so petty," Oliver said finally. "He was just giving us space. Besides, he readily agreed to look after you."

"That was sweet of him, though I suppose he would have done anything for you."

"Yes, he would have," Oliver agreed. "Like I would have for him."

Mai hummed her agreement as her tears dried up.

Oliver knew he ought to stop there, but curiosity led him onwards.

"You know, we even discussed the possibility of replacing each other."

"What do you mean?" Mai asked.

"For example, if I died, that he would take my place and pretend to be me."

Mai giggled.

"I think we'd be able to tell you two apart," she mumbled through a stifled yawn, "Even if you were trying."

"Yeah," Oliver agreed, ignoring the empty feeling in his stomach, "I'm sure you would."

"We should get to sleep," Mai muttered as she shifted away from him. "I'm glad you're back Gene, I missed you."

"I missed you too," Oliver said, reaching over and kissing Mai on the forehead. "Goodnight."

As Mai drifted into the land of nod, Oliver lay, staring at the ceiling and thinking of that fated conversation all those months ago.

"Noll, are you busy?" Gene asked.

Oliver sat up on his bunk, deserting his book.

"What is it?"

"If… If I don't make it back from this war━"

"What are you talking about? Why would you not come back?" Oliver interrupted, hoping to put an end to the conversation before it began..

"Noll, don't. This is a war. We can't ignore the possibilities."

Noll waited for Gene to continue.

"If I don't make it back, will you look after Mai?"

"Of course I will."

"No," Gene said hastily, wanting to clarify his meaning. "Will you… Will you go back as me? Dying doesn't scare me, but the idea of Mai mourning my death… It breaks my heart to think of it."

"That would mean lying to Martin and Luella too," Oliver stated, a slight frown forming across his handsome features. "Lying to everyone."

"Yes, I realise this is a big ask. But... I don't want Mai to cry and I don't think you would either."

"Why is that?" Oliver asked, with an inkling of an idea what Gene was going to say.

"Because you love her too."

Oliver did not deny it. Of course his brother knew. They both knew and had never discussed it until now.

"Pretend to be me, you can love her then and she'll love you back. She won't cry that way…" Gene said. His face was uncharacteristically blank and Oliver suspected that every word caused him pain.

"Because she would not cry over my death," Oliver concluded.

Gene did not deny it.

"You have to promise me, please, Noll?" he begged. "Promise you'll look after Mai…"

The two twins stared at each other for a minute before Oliver replied.

"I promise."

Author's note: I'm not crying, you're crying.

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