Devil or Angel

Not mine….can't begin to tell what I'd do with them if they were!!                               Beth Jones

DEVIL or ANGEL                                                                                                                                                      

Devil or angel, I can't make up my mind
Which one you are I'd like to wake up and find
Devil or angel dear, whichever you are
I miss you, I miss you, I-I mi-i-iss you

Devil or angel please say you'll be mi-i-ine
Love me or leave me, I'll go out of my mind
Devil or angel dear, whichever you are
I need you, I need you, I need you

You look like an angel
Your smile is divine
But you keep me guessin'
Will you ever be mine?

Devil or angel please say you'll be mi-i-ine
Love me or leave, I've made up my mind
Devil or angel dear, whichever you are
I love you, I love you, I-I lo-o-ove you

Devil or angel please say you'll be mi-i-ine
Love me or leave, I've made up my mind
Devil or angel dear, whichever you are
I love you, I love you, I love you

                                                            DeViL or AnGeL

            Woody….

                               She feels so right in my arms. I have to admit I think she feels right in my arms as well. She tries so hard to hide it but I know she wants this. At least the part of her that has fallen for me wants it. Definitely the part of her that doesn't mind her dad knowing what's up wants this. It's just a matter of getting through to the part of her that is ten years old and afraid that everyone she loves, has or is going to let her down that is the tricky part. And as I have learned since I met Jordan Cavanaugh, you cannot get to that part like a construction worker, bashing through it with a wrecking ball, you have to be more like an ice sculptor; chipping patiently away at the ice until you get the swan. I know it may sound like an easy enough plan of action, but tell that to the ice sculptor. I'm open to suggestions.

                            I couldn't do much else but smile like an idiot when she and Max had their own little psychic conversation. I barely caught it when Jordan swung her eyes my way as she told Max she would close up for him. But I did catch Max subtly dart his eyes my way in approval before he turned quickly to leave.

 "Be careful gettin' home." Was all he said as he headed for his coat and scarf.

Then, as he wrapped the scarf around his neck he turned back to look once more at Jordan and I as we stood the appropriate distance- in- front- of –the- dad- away from each other.

"You too Hoyt." Was all he said and gave me a look that said equal parts 'good luck' and 'don't hurt her'. I helped by responding to both earnestly and simultaneously.

"Yes sir." I said and Jordan and I shared a smile.

Assured by my answer, Max turned back towards the door and headed out into the snow without looking back. When Jordan turned to me I watched her face carefully, deciding what angle I could best start for the swan. She walked slowly towards me and I stood from the stool. I knew that look. Time to bring out the chisel and get to work.

"So I uh, guess we better just call it a night huh?" she says with a nervous laugh.

Okay, so I have to think fast. Okay, she's testing me. She doesn't REALLY want to call it a night, she's asking me for my opinion at least. Okay, so she's open to alternatives and she is asking my opinion. But I can play this game just as well as she can. So I answer her with what she just said. Can't get in any trouble there.

"Yeah, uh…I guess so." Okay, that seemed to have worked. I got a quick peek at 'Deer in headlights' Jordan as she fumbles for where to go next. I felt kind of bad. She was totally lost in how to deal with her emotions for me. I could actually see the internal struggle as her head nodded yes, and her eyes said 'no!'.

So of course because it is just about the most cliché thing we could do right at that moment, we both started to fumble out a lot of stupid from our mouths which caused nervous laughter on the part of both parties. I just smiled nervously and this unfortunately gave ten-year-old Jordan the chance to take the wheel and she said she'd go first. I realized that if I didn't cause a distraction soon, I might not get to hold her tonight. So I had to put my foot down and put the chisel to the ice.

"Forget it. You know what? Just. Wait." I said as I slowly backed up towards the jukebox. I don't know where she thought I was headed but she closed her eyes and said my name in that warning type way. As planned, I ignored her. After all, I told her to forget it. To forget all of her logic for just a minute and let me take over. And I did just that.

"Just don't say a word. And please dance with me?" I asked putting my hand out, confident that hers would soon join with it.

I pulled her into my arms and rested my head beside hers. We danced slowly for a few seconds, then e playfully pulled back and I spun her. We ended up back in each other's arms, and like I said, she feels so right in my arms. I hold her to my chest closely, trying to squeeze the trust into her body. Did you ever do that with someone? Try so hard to convey an emotion to someone that you pictured yourself opening a little door in their chest and placing that emotion into their heart? I think that is what I am trying to do with Jordan right now. And I think that she knows it. She pulls away from me a little but I chance chiseling too deeply and pull her back.

"Where are you going?" I whisper trying to be playful.

Jordan pulls away again and walks to counter. "No where." She says, back to me, arranging things on the counter.

I sigh heavily as the song finishes and the room is suddenly and uncomfortably quiet. She's retreating from me….I think I may have accidentally chipped away at the wrong spot on the swan. I can't let her slip away now. I'm too close to finishing the swan. If I stop now, I might never get through to her.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere Jordan." I say and hope she understands. I move closer to her as I realize she has tensed.

She laughs nervously and moves to behind the counter. She's putting a barrier between us.

"Well, your gonna have to go somewhere soon Cowboy, I'm closin' up." She says trying to be nonchalant. 

"Yeah, you are." I say irritated and join her behind the counter. Her shoulders slump so I know that she has gotten my drift.

"Woody…..I still need time to think things out….I don't want to….." I cut her off.

"Jordan, you don't have to think anything more out. I'm. Not. Going. Anywhere." I say slowly.

Jordan seems bothered by this as if I am stating something she already knows.

"Yeah, I know Woody but…" I chance cutting her off again.

"Jordan, look at me." And she does. Right in the eye, our faces inches apart. I take her face in my hands.

"I'm not going anywhere sweetie." I say with all the sincerity in the world. Jordan casts her eyes away from mine and they well up with tears. But she keeps up the game.

"I know." She says looking back into my eyes. I still don't believe her. I don't feel like ten-year-old Jordan believes me yet.

"No, Jordan you don't. I'm not going anywhere." I say again and kiss her cheek as close to her mouth as I can get. When I pull back, I can see that the tears have finally begun to fall. She smiles through them though and takes my face in her hands as well.

"Yeah, I do know." She says and seizes my lips. She kisses me hungrily and I wrap my arms around her, reinforcing that I won't ever let her go. We stand there behind the bar and kiss tenderly.

When I finally pull back, it is only to look into her eyes and affirm that she really does know I'm sticking around.

" I swear Jordan. I'll never let you down. I haven't given you any reason not to trust me yet have I?" she just shook her head no.

"I mean, I've already bailed you outta jail, been interrogated by the LAPD, and shot and killed a man to save you….I think if I was gonna take off for the hills I would have done it somewhere between here and the 3000 miles away LA is." I say and nuzzle her hair with my nose.

Jordan chuckles and kisses my neck.

"Yeah I guess that shows for something huh?" She asks and releases me to walk over to the jukebox. I hang onto her hand, still a little afraid that if I let go, she'll take off running, and follow her to the bright, humming box.

Jordan checks her pockets for a quarter and when she can't find one, I see the gears turn in her head. She turns to me in a bubbly manner and mock seductively reaches her hand into my pants pocket and her fingers search for change. I just raise my eyebrows at her as she fishes around a little too long for a quarter.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask fighting the need to squirm under her touch.

"Nope, found what I was looking for." She says and produces a shiny quarter which she holds between our faces. I push her hand down and lean forward to kiss her.

"Good." I say as she puts the quarter into the machine and skims the familiar list for a song. She decides on one I surprisingly know and one, which not so surprisingly describes the dance we've been involved in for almost a year. I hold her as we move with the easy tempo of the song.

I really can´t stay, (Baby, it's cold outside)
I've got to go ´way, (Baby, it's cold outside)
The evening has been, so very nice
(I hold your hands, there just like ice)

My mother will start to worry
and father will be pacin' the floor
So really I´d better scurry
well maybe just a half a drink more

The neighbours might think, (Baby, it's bad out there)
Say, what's in this drink, (No caps to be had out there)
I wish I knew how, to break the spell

I ought to say, no, no, no sir
at least I'm gonna say that I tried
I really can´t stay, outthere it's cold outside

I simply must go, (Baby, it's cold outside)
The answer is no, (Uhh, Baby, it's cold outside)
The welcome has been, so nice and warm
(Look out the window at that storm)

My sister will be suspicious
My brother will be there at the door
My maiden aunt´s mind is vicious
well mabe just a half a drink more

I've got to get home, (Baby, you´ll freeze outthere)
Say lend me a comb, (It's up to your knees outthere)
You've really been grand, but don't you see
(How can you do this thing to me)

There's bound to be talk tomorrow
at least there will be plenty implied
I really can't stay, outthere it's cold outside

Baby, it's cold outside

I can't help but smile when the song is over. Jordan smiles at me and I finally get a look at what contented ten-year old Jordan looks like.

"So Woodrow, you wanna go play in the snow?" She asks and I cringe at her use of my given name.

"Sure, only if you promise never to call me Woodrow again, K?"  I ask and wrap my arms around Jordan tightly again.

"Okay." She says simply and we almost knock each other over to get out the door and into the new-fallen snow.

I sacked Jordan into the nearest snow bank we hit after fighting each other to the top of the stairs from the Pogue. She squealed with delight and I complimented her girlish chuckles with my deep ones.

"Okay, okay…truce, truce….I'm calling a truce!!" I yell as she half pinches, half tickles my armpits through my dress shirt which is becoming increasingly wetter and wetter from the snow. Finally she stops and I lean slowly forward to kiss her. But at the last second I decide I'd rather put a handful of fresh powdery snow down the back of her shirt.

"WOODY!!!" Jordan screams heaping handfuls of snow at me as I dart back towards the stairs. I charge down them laughing and swing back into the Pogue closing the door behind me. Jordan follows a few seconds later, still shaking snow from the back of her shirt. She spots me standing at the door holding the handle and crosses her arms.

"You gonna let me in?" She asks and I smile shaking my head in the negative. Jordan looks up at the sky, still sprinkling snow down onto her and looks back at me. "Come on Woody, it's freezing out here and I don't have a coat!!" She is still laughing and I smile.

"It's gonna cost you." I say loud enough for her to hear me through the class of the door. She just gives me one of her patented Jordan looks and says, "Oh really? And what might that be?" She says placing her hands on her hips.

I know she must be scared because I am sure my face just got a lot more serious. She thinks I want to ask to go home with her. I think she's thinking right. I can tell that if I ask her though she is probably going to say yes and I'm not sure she's ready for that yet. And I hate to admit it but I am kind of enjoying the old fashioned courting system myself.

I try to smile now and seem a little more casual than I am sure I was about 2 minutes ago. I open the door and Jordan steps in slowly.

"So what do I have to do now that I'm back in?" She asks rubbing her arms from the cold. I step forward, wrap my arms around her body, and rest my chin on her head.

"Come have breakfast with me…I could use a nice big Belgian waffle." I say and kiss her forehead. I can feel the relief instantly course through her body. I was right, Jordan really doesn't want me to come home with her tonight…well…this morning…she needs to slow this down a little. I gave her something tonight that she really needed. I'm not going anywhere and I think she really gets it now. But now she needs time to think through that for a little and I feel like asking to go home with her would be too much for one night. We've had one breakthrough tonight and I am okay with waiting for her. I guess maybe the longer I'm still in the picture without sex being a part of our relationship, maybe that will do all the more to convince her I'm here for good.

She pulls back and looks into my face as I smile shyly.

"That sounds like a great idea. Thanks Woody." She stands on her tiptoes to kiss me and I nod when she pulls back.

I don't need to ask what she's thanking me for, I already know. I pull her to my chest one last time and she hugs me back reassuringly. When I release her she grabs her coat and mine and hands it to me. I help her on with her coat and I catch her smiling as I do so. I shrug into my coat as Jordan heads for the door and throws me the keys to the Pogue knowing I will be the last one out. As she turns off the lights by the door I ask her where she wants to go for breakfast.

"Oh, I don't care." She says innocently as she opens the door and a winter chill creeps in causing me to pull my coat more tightly around my body.

Jordan turns back to face me as she steps outside and smirks.

"I mean it's not like it matters to me," she says producing my wallet from behind her back. "Since you're buyin' farm boy." She says and laughs, taking off up the stairs. I can only shake my head and play along, chasing after her once I've closed and locked the door behind me.

                                                                                                                                    FINIS

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     ---------------à Well, I'm sure some people are feeling like they are left empty handed, but I assure you….they are getting there!

                                                                                                TO BE CONTINUED………………………………………….perhaps….hee hee!