Title: Traumatized

Fandom: Fire Emblem Fates

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Even though the war was over, Kamui still couldn't shake off all the painful deaths she had witnessed years ago… Birthright path. MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BIRTHRIGHT AHOY! Female!Corrin x Kaze. Rated for death.

Pairings: Female!Corrin x Kaze

A/N: Well then...I FINALLY completed Birthright (happy now, Zulera301?! XD) and… excuse me while I go cry in a corner. I mean, if I was in Kamui's shoes (or feet in this case…) I'd be so traumatized that I'd be having nightmares every day. So why not put her in that situation?

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in Fire Emblem Fates

ENJOY!

Traumatized

Scarred for life was what some people would say. But for Kamui, it was painful—traumatizing to be more exact. It had been years since the war ended, yet Kamui could not stop dreaming about all the deaths she had witnessed. She remembered it all too clearly.

Flora—the poor girl—killed herself right in front of Kamui. Kamui begged her to not do this—to not light herself on fire—but Flora had done it anyway. Seeing her body turn into nothing but ash had been embedded in Kamui's mind as she sobbed. Why would she do this?

Then, it was Lilith. When Hans was about to murder Kamui right then and there, the Astral Dragon shielded her… with her own body. Kamui had decimated the battlefield all by herself in a fit of uncontrollable rage, and when she checked on Lilith, the Dragon had died in her arms. Although she was grateful for her saving her life, she wished that she could have done something to prevent her death.

Elise—oh GODS Elise… the precious, cheerful little girl saved her life from her own brother's blade, killing herself in the process. Elise wanted all the fighting to stop, only for her to die right there, just for that wish. If only she had lived to see the peace now...

Xander… someone who Kamui usually called "Big Brother". She had no choice but to kill him. If she hadn't, there wouldn't be any peace for both Hoshido and Nohr. His last words to her… his last wish… was to stop Garon and bring peace. And so she did. For his sake.

And finally... Azura. Azura had sacrificed herself to stop Garon, only for her to disappear right in front of Kamui. Azura's last wish was to see that beautiful smile on Kamui. She had granted it, though it took her so much strength to smile for Azura's sake, even when she was disappearing. Kamui would never forget her kindness and willingness to protect her, yet to Kamui, she had failed to protect Azura as she turned into nothing but particles of water.

Peace had been restored to the land after Kamui had killed the final form of Garon. Yet these five deaths had burdened her years later. If she had chosen Nohr, would they have lived? If she had decided against siding either, would everyone had lived? That had bothered her for so long, to the point that she had terrible nightmares about what she could have done.

And that what was happening now. Kamui twisted and turned in her bed, mumbling something unintelligible. Her eyes were squeezed shut as tears welled up in her eyes, with some of it escaping as they dripped down her face.

Flora. Lilith. Elise. Xander. Azura. If only she had done something to let them live. If only she had chosen Nohr or sided with neither. If only… if only… if only—

"Kamui?"

Kamui jolted up from her bed, gasping. The rest of her tears finally dripped down her pale face, as she held her chest to still her fast-beating heart. She breathed fast, but heavy breaths as she blinked away the tears.

Once her vision finally cleared, she wiped away the tears, and she glanced around the area. Apparently, she was in her large room, in the Hoshido castle. She wasn't in the war, witnessing the deaths of her comrades. She was in her room, safe and not fighting in a war. Yet… the deaths were still real. Very, very real, as she squeezed her eyes shut again to stop the flow of her tears.

"...Kamui?" She felt a hand touching her shoulder, to which she jumped. Turning her head to face the owner of the hand, her ruby eyes met with purple.

Kaze. Her husband. The Master Ninja had a frown on his face as he studied Kamui's terrible condition.

"K-Kaze..." Kamui sniffled, wiping away the tears.

"Are you… all right?" Kaze asked, his frown intensified as he helped Kamui wipe away her tears.

Kamui, not wanting to worry her husband, nodded. Over the years, she had kept her traumatizing memories hidden from Kaze. Of course, he had witnessed all the deaths with her, but she decided not to say anything out of fear of worrying Kaze. It had been years, for crying out loud. She couldn't still be thinking about it. It was all in the past anyway.

Kaze, however, placed his other hand on Kamui's other shoulder, his eyes not leaving Kamui's. Kamui knew what that meant—he was not letting this go until she confessed.

"Kaze?" she questioned.

"Kamui," Kaze began. "Something's wrong. You've been acting… odd around everyone. Even Ryoma and your siblings are concerned."

Kamui's eyes widened. All this time, her Hoshido siblings had noticed her behavior. Why didn't they ask her themselves? Unless…

"Did… my siblings ask you to ask me?"

Kaze nodded, to which Kamui sighed. Apparently, she was not going to get off easily until she confessed. Before she opened her mouth, Kaze interrupted.

"It's about… what happened years ago, isn't it?"

Kamui's mouth was still opened, either in shock or wanting to say something. However, she spoke up, "H-how did you know?"

"I've seen how the war had changed everyone involved, even though it had been years. I could see it. Felicia, Jakob, Mozu, even my brother, Saizo, was affected by all of that. Kamui, please tell me. You cannot burden these scars forever. Let me help you."

Kamui frowned. He was right—all these years since the war had ended, she had been burdened by what had happened. She remembered going through sleepless nights sobbing her eyes out, and to her, it felt like she was alone. But she forgot Kaze—her husband, one that she would dedicate her life with. She now felt guilty for doing this alone. How did she forget him?

"...It's about all the deaths I've witnessed..." Kamui confessed.

Kaze nodded, not saying a word as Kamui continued.

"Flora… Lilith… Elise… Xander… and now Azura… I never forget how they had died, in such gruesome, cruel ways. If I had chosen Nohr, or decided to not side with either country—"

"Kamui," Kaze interrupted, squeezing her shoulders a bit tighter. "If you had made another decision, there would still be deaths. It didn't matter which side you had chosen. It would all still be heartbreak, deaths… you cannot change that. War would always be that way."

"Kaze..."

"Kamui," Kaze whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. "Even I was changed from the war. And it all stemmed when I was captured in Nohr."

Kamui raised a brow. During the whole ordeal where she was forced to execute Rinkah and Kaze, she saw that he was stoic—not holding back even. All this time, she thought that he wasn't affected by it. Was he…?

"I still remember it clearly—being bound in chains, whipped, tortured… I shudder to remember how painful it was to go through such an awful experience. I am sure Rinkah feels the same way."

"Kaze… Gods… I'm so sorry..."

"No, Kamui. I should be the one apologizing. I've kept it to myself for so long. I had said that you shouldn't burden the weight alone with your experiences, yet here I am, doing the same exact thing."

Although Kaze's experience wasn't exactly the same as Kamui's, Kamui could now see it—the two had been severely traumatized, and they were shouldering their pasts alone. But now they had each other—they, in fact, need each other. Even without Kamui's deceased friends and family, she had Kaze to be with, plus her Hoshido siblings and her remaining Nohr siblings. Although the trauma wouldn't go away, she at least had someone to be there for her.

"Kaze..." Tears sprang in her eyes, though not for the same reasons—she was happy, happy to have such a wonderful husband.

Kaze said nothing, except pull her into a hug. He kissed her on her forehead—she was quite short for her age—as he rocked her and himself back and forth. Kamui sobbed then, burying her face in his bare chest as she gripped his shirt tightly.

"You're not going to fight this alone, Kamui," Kaze whispered. "Together, we'll get through the trauma together."

Kamui didn't let go of Kaze that night, even though she fell asleep in his arms. Kaze held her close, making sure that she didn't have any nightmares that night. She didn't, as she slept soundly and without a single dream.

Constructive criticism is welcomed!