As you like it. As you wish.

Chapter 1: Romeo & Buttercup

Jon

The first time I saw her, I knew she was a classic. The one men would write about with reverence, one, women read about to emulate.

I almost walked towards her right away but one – I don't normally do that. I was shit at talking to girls, especially one as beautiful as her. And two, the only line I could think about – if I could think at all at this point – was a stupid ass cheesy line from Star Wars.

Talk about pathetic.

"Are you an angel?" I almost blurted out. And in my mind she'd say with an adorable pucker between those elegant arches, her baby blues shining with confusion, "What?"

And I'd say that line about them being the most beautiful creatures in the universe from the planet of lego and she'd go "You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?" And then we'd live happily ever after… in a galaxy far far away.

Ugh.

What did I say? Pathetic. And case in point with my first reason for not just going up to her.

She was absently toying with the rim of her mug with a long, delicate, finger before fishing out the tag that read she was having Earl Gray, then bringing the mug up to her pink-red lips, her beautiful mouth puckering into an 'o' as she blew over the steaming tea before finally taking a sip, her eyes fluttering close as she hummed her approval, leaving me…

…a quivering mess, eyes wide, mouth hung, throat dry.

I burn! I pine! I perish!

I blinked.

Now where did that come from? That was definitely Shakespeare. From what play? I don't remember right now when I had before. And quivering? I shuddered.

Then I knew. Looking at her, all red and white and beautiful, she doesn't deserve pathetic.

She deserved, poetic.

Just look at her.

She had the sky in her eyes, the sun in her hair, and glowing stars on her skin.

She's a classic. I thought again.

The way she held herself, how she dressed, how she had her cello in an elegant black case to her left, while she scanned sheet music from sheet music to her right.

A Music Major. That much was obvious. And it filled me with hope.

Being in the theatre program, I would be sure to see her in the same building. And then what Jon? Just casually bump into her? Say hi? Fuck, forget about channeling Anakin Skywalker. I'd probably just sound like fucking Chewbacca if I stood in front of her.

I cursed inwardly. Theatre program and tongue tied. I was fearless on the stage but just plain sad in real life. Ugh.

A tongue-tied Acting Major and all around film nerd.

Double Ugh.But then it hit me.

"All the world's a stage."

Why the hell not? Man up and do something Snow! For once in your life be the damn hero in real life.

Then as if possessed, I tore a piece of paper from my notebook, scribbled something in my most legible writing, and asked the barista to give it to her along with a vanilla cupcake telling her to be discreet.

I waited and watched as she looked up at the brunette barista who gave her my note and the cake with the most adorable confused expression that looked even better than what I imagined earlier. I ducked my head because I knew she would be looking around to see who could've sent her those and counted to five before carefully lifting my gaze back to her and saw that she was now reading my note while holding my breath.

I smirked a little when I saw her cheeks turn as red as her hair.

Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!

For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night

But my smirk vanished quickly as I saw her expression change from awe to…disgust. She sighed, frowning all the way towards the counter to approach that same brunette barista when suddenly her eyes lit up and her mouth curved upward slightly. I watched as she talked to the brunette who suddenly smirked before handing her a to-go cup and a marker. I watched as she wrote something on the cup and gave it back to the barista, exchanging a few words with her then walking with a blank expression back to her seat and her sheet music, vanilla cupcake untouched at the side.

"Ahem."

I jumped at the voice and found the brunette – Margaery her name tag read, in front of me – holding a tray with three identical to-go cups.

She arched a brow at me before setting one down on my table without saying anything and proceeded to give out the other two to two more confused men.

Before I discreetly turned the cup to read, I saw that I had another message written on a napkin.

You owe me! – Barista M.

I looked at the cup and I knew this was the one she wrote on – the other two merely decoys.

So the decoys were care of Margaery to preserve my identity. Boy was she getting a huge tip from me.

I made a quick glance at the other two guys who were probably reading a random "Have a good day!" message on their free coffee before finally reading the message she wrote for me and I almost dropped the steaming cup as I read it.

Eyes wider, mouth hung lower, throat drier.

"I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand you warthog-faced bafoon."

…Shakespeare is good, but I absolutely hate vanilla cupcakes.

I quoted Shakespeare for this classic beauty. And this same classic beauty just insulted me with The Princess Bride.

In that moment, I knew I was half in love with her already.

I snuck a glance at her and saw that she was eyeing the two other guys who received the same coffee as me. I recognized who they were right away.

One was Doctor Tyrion Lannister from Philosophy who was busy grading papers. I watched as Sansa shook her head probably thinking that it couldn't possibly be Dr. Tyrion. For one, he was happily married. Another, well, his foreign wife was a former decorated soldier from the Lyseni army, honorably dismissed of course but everyone knew she still carried a gun.

And the other guy was Loras-fucking-Tyrell. The Paris to my Romeo, the Lancelot to my King Arthur, and recently, the Fernand Mondego to my Edmond Dantes. Since freshman year we've been building a rivalry for parts, grades, sports, and… goddamit why was she looking at him like that?

My eyes twitched in annoyance as I eyed my princess, looking at the blonde Lothario with interest, maybe even approval.

I looked away and took a hasty sip of my coffee, savoring the bitterness. Of course she'd find him attractive.

Then I had a horrifying thought. What if she approached him? Oh God, he'd probably claim he did it. That's just Loras for you. He'd do it. Anything to add to his conquests – no woman or man was safe when he's determined to conquer. He wasn't beneath getting his hands dirty. But then I realized I had to abandon that though as she was now craning her head to look over my direction.

Then suddenly I felt like being watched.

And true enough when I raised my eyes I found myself staring into blue ones.

I tried to make it seem I was looking through her – staring at nothing in particular. Feigning absent-minded wandering. Mustering all the acting skills I had while trying not to be pulled by the magnet of her gaze, I decided to just simply take another sip of coffee and grabbed my phone.

From the corner of my eye I knew she was still staring and I was torn into giving myself away or keeping the charade. It would only take one tiny smile back at her or a show of my torn notebook.

Sansa

Day or Night.

It could only be one of them, the golden-haired one with the winning smile, or the black-haired and mysterious one with the brooding pout.

I blushed.

They were both very good-looking and one of them just sent me a note.

I blushed once more.

I've had drinks given to me, flowers and such before, some anonymously, but mostly straightforward. But a note…a hand written one at that, well, aside from the ones of numbers written on napkins or slipped in bills… I don't think I've ever really gotten them.

At least not one like this.

I recognized the quote and my heart fluttered a bit. It wasn't my favorite line. It wasn't even my favorite play. But it was undeniably, Shakespeare.

And it started tugging at the girlhood fantasies – all the silly love songs I so desperately tried to hide away but then I saw the vanilla cupcake.

At the sight of it my mood soured.

A well-chosen famous line from a famous play and the daintiest looking dessert in the café… it all made sense.

I was seen as that girl again. No, not girl. Lady.

It's not that I wasn't anyway. A lady, I mean. But my love for manners and courtesies didn't make up all of me.

I was more than just… someone you can bring home to your mom.

I was more than just a trophy… or a goddamn fucking challenge.

I almost rolled my eyes as a montage of horrible exes invaded my consciousness.

Vanilla.

My frown deepened.

I was always vanilla.

I looked at the cupcake with both distaste and sadness. It was actually a pretty one, the white frosting made to look like petals while shiny pearl and gold sugar candies decorated the center.

Pretty, elegant, a time tested classic flavor.

I felt like Kimberly being told by Jules that crème brulee can never be jello in My Best Friend's Wedding.

That's it.

It was time to be jello.

So I wracked my brain trying to find the wittiest, geekiest, line from one of the movies my older brother Robb forced me to watch every "RobSanSunday Movie slash Series Marathon Night" since I was eight and tasked Margaery to play messenger again. If he gets the reference he'd either be really turned off that I knew about it and shatter all images of the mom-approved lady, or at the very least, he'd definitely reevaluate his image of me. If he doesn't then maybe he'll just take it as it is, a diss.

But then of course, Margaery, the little sneak pulled that stunt with the three free coffee.

So far, neither Day or Night seemed to show any sign – no tiny clue to give either of them away.

The clink of a plate being set down on my table surprised me and I saw Margaery again, sliding a plate of cookies towards me while taking away the damn vanilla cupcake.

I raised my brows at her and she just shrugged and handed me another note.

"Just so you know… serving tables isn't really part of my job. I'm just doing this for the generous tip I'm getting. So if you're planning a reply, make it quick. Because someone is waiting to be served this gorgeous-yet-denied vanilla bean."

My eyes narrowed. "Sure, then you'll probably have time to get two more and give two lucky guys yet another freebie."

She just shrugged and grinned innocently.

I groaned while I unfolded the piece of paper then and started reading.

She speaks;

O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art

As glorious to this night, being o'er my head

As is a winged messenger of heaven

(I apologize for the vanilla. Maybe peanut's more your thing?)

Oh my God.

I looked at the plate of cookies. "Are these…?"

"Peanut butter oatmeal," she nodded.

I didn't know what to feel. He definitely got the reference… and judging from this note… he likes it.

It was disconcerting. I didn't expect this.

"What's wrong?"

I looked up at Margaery, my brows still scrunched together. "I don't… he liked my reply?"

Margaery's jaw dropped a little in disbelief before all out laughing while shaking her head.

I frowned.

She stopped then and smirked at me. "Oh sweetheart, what do you think?"

"I just dissed him!"

She nodded. "You did… but in a very very clever way that he obviously appreciated. Now he thinks you're gorgeous, well-read, and…fun," she winked.

I just stared at her, trying to process it.

She sat down across me and beamed, her eyes overly curious. "Sorry, I'm a very nosy person and it's all terribly boring here. I know he sent you a Romeo quote. I'm still gushing over how utterly cute that was. But why did you send him that Wesley quote back?"

It was my turn to raise a brow at her. "You know the movie too?"

She snorted. "Please, I have two older brothers. I speak Monty Python fluently too. The two movies are utter nonsense but they are hilarious. But boys are so incredibly easy to please. They eat those shit up." Then she leaned closer and smirked. "And that's why you got another letter."

I was sure to be as red as my hair now, still I shook my head. "But…but he sent me vanilla."

Her face puckered for a bit before her eyes lit up in understanding. "Oh. I see."

I felt relieved. "Do you really?"

She giggled. "Well, you can't blame him. The vanilla bean cake is the most pristine dessert in our café. We call it The Classic. He probably just wants to impress you. And you do look like a vanilla person."

I cringed and almost let out a protest.

She laughed again. "Okay, maybe not. But he knows that now. You made it clear. In small words too. So…anybody want a peanut?"

I had to smile at that.

"There it is! Now how about that reply?"

I thought for a bit then sighed.

"Fine."

But I won't in any way make this easy on him. He may have swayed me a little I admit, but considering how exceedingly charming my exes were when they pursued me and how foolishly I fell for it each and every time only to regret it, I had to be guarded this time.

I took a blank sheet music and wrote my reply.

Jon

Margaery came back with the plate of the cursed vanilla after serving the other two the same complimentary dessert.

Compliments from me, as Margaery made it clear if I wish to preserve my anonymity. Why? I know she knows it's either Loras or me and I don't want to know if she would be disappointed if she finds out if it's me. At least, not yet.

Damn fucking Loras.

And damn Margaery for choosing him as the other pansy.

"Hey, I don't appreciate you glaring holes into my brother's head," she tsked.

I stared up at her with my mouth open. "What?"

She wrinkled her nose then lifted a corner of her mouth. "I thought you knew. He mentions you… a lot I might add. I'd have thought he would mention me." Then she looked me over and full out smirked after. "Now I know why," she purred.

I almost threw up.

She laughed. "Still, you better make good with your reply because Loras is starting to get suspicious and he did notice Red here. And I could tell he'll want to try. Now imagine if he knew you thought the same too."

My eyes widened in horror and I immediately started reading.

You seem a decent fellow… I hate to kill you.

(Good sir, first you dare insult me so with vanilla, now you attempt to poison me with peanut though I admit that was a better alternative in principle; if it was not your intention to kill me of course.)

If I was horrified before, now I was downright mortified.

"She's allergic to peanuts."

I glared at Margaery and felt my cheeks flare up. "I figured." I snapped at her. God, I can figure things out of my own, woman. Do I look like someone who knows nothing?

She didn't flinch, just merely cocked a brow at me. "Hurry up. I left poor Tommen manning the counter by himself. I'll just go talk to Loras for the equal amount of time then I'll come back to collect."

Sansa

I bit my lip. Margaery took her time to talk to both guys and I still can't figure out which one could've sent me the notes.

Both of them, Margaery commanded to write something down.

And finally, she came back now with a slice of s'mores pie and another note.

I ignored the pie and snatched the note at once.

Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide.

Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on

The dashing ricks thy seasick, weary bark.

Here's to my love!

(Apologies once more, I did not know, and I know so little of you as it is. Yet I'd sooner die by your hand or mine than have you dead before I even learn so much as your name on my lips.)

I swear my knees almost gave out if I hadn't been sitting all this time.

"I know right?"

My eyes shot up at Margaery who was fanning herself with her hand dramatically. "I'd swoon too, you lucky, lucky girl. Now give that guy a break and give him something."

Damn it.

I refuse to give in but oh my.

Oh. My. God.

Without further prompting, I grabbed my pen again but then my phone rang.

Robb.

"What's up Robb?"

Jon

At the sight of her blushing all the way down to her swan-like alabaster neck, I almost groaned if I wasn't already grinning madly from her reaction.

Fuck me.

She likes it.

But then I knew that it wouldn't be enough to even as much as budge her but it was a start. I even expected that spark of determination in her eyes as she was probably thinking of another brilliant come back.

Then I saw her talking to someone on the phone, wrote hastily on a piece of paper, handed it to Margaery before going back to her phone and walking outside with it.

"She's just making a call…"

I just frowned at Margaery then eyed the to-go bag she was giving.

I raised my brows at her.

"Your lady love needs to be somewhere after that phone call so she's gonna have to take your reply to go as well," she explained.

"What? Wait!"

I snatched the note and felt the floor leave me.

I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.

(Before you die or anything, it's Sansa).

Sansa.

I knew she had a lovely name to go with that lovely face. I grinned.

She told me her name.

"Come on, write now. She'll be back soon and it'll be too late to prepare two more to-go s'mores," Margaery tapped her foot impatiently.

Sansa

When I went back to collect my things, Margaery was waiting for me.

She dangled a baggy at me with a note stapled on top.

O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

I rolled my eyes but I couldn't keep the heat from flaring up my cheeks.

"They're lemon macarons this time," Margaery she said in a sing-song voice as she dangled the bag in front of me.

I sucked in a breath.

Oh no.

Close. So close to nailing it.

I bit my lip then to keep from smiling like an idiot but bent down to write my final note. I suppose I should write my number now right?

Still…

He looks like a student here, an upperclassman most probably…

Well, although he's already done a good job into making me want to swoon like an inane girl, I still can't give in.

I eyed Day and Night again and I'd probably combust if either of them come up and whisper those lines in my ear right now. I mean, they were both ridiculously handsome!

But no, Sansa. You are stronger than this.

Joffrey was gorgeous. Harry too. Ramsay – mad as he was, had a jawline that could cut glass.

No.

I mean, I already gave my name! That was something already and he didn't even have the decency to give his name or come up here himself.

No. He wanted to continue this game.

Then damn it, I'll play.

I wrote on a napkin and grabbed the baggy from Margaery before making my grand exit.

Jon

She left.

My heart was racing and half of me wanted to just fuck it and catch her but the other half wanted to see how long we could keep whatever this was up.

Insane, I have to admit but damn it if it didn't spark something in me.

But of course it all depended on her reply if we are to continue this or not. So it depends on this little note if she ended it or not.

And suddenly I'm nervous.

"Come on, don't be a pussy," Margaery poked me.

I glared at her and read the note.

Moment of truth.

Did she or didn't she?

The battle of wits has begun. When you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right…and who is dead. But for now, goodnight. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning. (It's not my top choice, but it's your one right choice today. Thanks for dessert).

I couldn't keep from smiling then. She did allow this to continue! And I finally got her dessert right.

"She took the dessert, didn't she?" I asked eagerly.

Margaery giggled as she nodded. "That, she did. And from that smile, she did so much more."

She looked over my shoulder to read my note before shaking her head at me slowly. "Oh you are sooo in trouble. You have it baaaaad I can tell. And I bet she knows too."

I swallowed.

"Better brush up on you literature, Romeo," Margaery winked.

That I should.

Ah.

The course of true love never did run smooth.

AN: Just something I came up with in the middle of a long drive. I've been having a lot of trouble with ending my other story when this idea started writing itself. I just have a lot of quotes I've accumulated from my favorite books, TV shows, and movies that I'd love to share. And I can't look at anymore spoilers from the season 7. I just wanted to do something light for a change. But you guys judge. What do you guys think?

Disclaimer: I own the plot, that's it. The Cover Image is not mine. If you guys have any romantic or nerdy insults out there, hit me back. :D

So I won't get sued here are the quotes I've used:

Star Wars

Anakin: Are you an angel?

Queen Amidala: What?

Anakin: An angel. I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the moons of Iego, I think. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe.

Queen Amidala: You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?

- Anakin Skywalker and Queen Amidala, Episode I The Phantom Menace

William Shakespeare

Romeo & Juliet

Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!

For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night – Romeo Act I, Sc I

She speaks;

O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art

As glorious to this night, being o'er my head

As is a winged messenger of heaven – Romeo Act II, Sc II

O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied? – Romeo Act II, Sc II

Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide.

Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on

The dashing ricks thy seasick, weary bark.

Here's to my love! - Romeo Act V, Sc III

A Midsummer Night's Dream

The course of true love of true love never did run smooth. – Lysander Act I Sc I

As you like it

"All the world's a stage." – Jaques Act II Sc VII

The Taming of the Shrew

I burn! I pine! I perish! – Lucentio Act I Sc I

The Princess Bride

"I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand you warthog-faced bafoon." – Wesley to Prince Humperdink

…anybody want a peanut?" – Fezzik to everyone

You seem a decent fellow… I hate to kill you. – Iñigo Montoya to Main in Black

I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed. – Fezzik

The battle of wits has begun. When you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right…and who is dead. – The Man in Black to Vizzini

"goodnight. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." – Wesley quotes Dread Pirate Roberts to Buttercup

And a short inference from My Best Friend's Wedding. Yes, the one with creme brulee and jello.