Since episode 7 some events in this fic are not canon anymore because this chapter was written about a week ago. Please give it a chance anyway :-)

2 parts

Thanks to scorpion-life who edited this chapter

Toby was brooding. He was gloomily watching Happy and Walter as they were perfecting their matching Halloween costumes and he hated every second of it.

It had been three weeks since the beginning of the INS inspection and it had been three weeks of pure hell. Joyce, the INS lady was like a dog with a bone and she wasn't giving them any breathing space. She was there all the time, questioning, scrutinizing, demanding, watching and driving everybody crazy.

Toby understood the way Happy and Walter needed to act in order to get out of this mess but it didn't mean he had to be okay with it. And he was anything but okay with any of it.

He was not okay with the matching Halloween costumes. He was not okay with the endearments. He was not okay with the hand holding, or with the kisses and the cuddles.

He was especially not okay with Happy and Walter living together and sharing the same bed while all he was getting was sleepless nights alone in his bed.

He had to stop sleeping on the floor next to Happy and Walter as Joyce was getting suspicious at seeing him so early in the mornings and so late in the evenings at the garage. His excuses were starting to sound fake, even to him.

It was killing Toby to leave Happy and Walter alone every night and see them coming down the stairs together every morning holding hands for Joyce's benefit. He knew there wasn't anything romantic about it, but it was agonizing anyway.

Joyce's presence was so overbearing that Toby hadn't had a real chance to be alone with Happy since the beginning of the inspection and he was really starting to get angry about the whole situation. It was getting to the point where he didn't know how much longer he could hold it all in.

There was so much they needed to discuss! The baby, the wedding, their future together, everything that mattered so much to him had been pushed aside with this inspection.

Toby was feeling more and more sidelined with every passing day and Happy's attitude was not helping. She didn't seem to feel the need to talk things through with Toby and it was hurting him more than he could express. Every time he tried to reach out to Happy, to talk to her about their life together, she found a new way to deflect.

Toby was trying to understand why Happy was so reluctant to talk about them but he was failing. He knew better than anybody else that she wasn't an open book but there was a difference between her usual reserved self and the way she had been pushing him away lately.

Her only concern at the time seemed to be getting Walter his citizenship no matter what. She didn't seem to realize that it was distancing herself from Toby more and more every day and endangering their relationship. She was often cold and annoyed with him, oblivious to how much he needed to be comforted and reassured about her feelings.

Toby shifted on his chair, his eyes still fixed on Walter and Happy. There was an even worse thought nagging in his head and as much as he was trying to push it away it was coming back mercilessly.

Would Happy have agreed to marry him if it weren't for the baby?

He perfectly understood the need she had to give birth in a stable family. She wanted to give her baby everything she never had. However, he also knew that getting married for no other reason than being pregnant was bad. A baby wasn't enough to make a marriage successful. So much more was needed to be able to spend life together with someone. Did they have what it took? Toby had absolutely no doubts about what he felt and what he wanted, but he wasn't so sure any more about Happy. She did tell him she was in love with him but she had acted so cold and so distant lately that he was at loss to what to think.

Toby's painful thoughts were derailed by a noise and he saw Walter and Happy laughing with each other looking at their outfits. Happy playfully hit Walter's arms at a teasing comment he made on her dress and Toby cringed. It was more contact that she had granted him in the last three weeks. Three weeks without a hug, a kiss or even a squeeze of a hand. Three weeks that all those gestures were directed to Walter and to Walter only.

Happy laughed again at something Walter said and Toby was done. He was fed up with all of this. Fed up with being pushed aside by Happy. Fed up at hearing her laugh with Walter when she was barely talking to him. Fed up of watching her wrapped in Walter's arms when he hadn't touched her in three weeks. He was fed up with everything.

Toby grabbed his bag from his desk and stormed outside the garage without even bothering to say a word to anyone. He slammed the door with more force than necessary, hoping to release a little bit of frustration with a violent gesture. Tonight tequila would be a better friend than anybody else he decided while walking to his car. Truth to be told, tequila had been his friend several nights in a row lately. He was longing for the haze of the alcohol soothing his pain and sending away all his taunting thoughts.

Happy watched Toby leave with a painful feeling in her stomach. Contrary to what Toby was thinking she was perfectly aware that he was not okay. She had noticed the dark circles around his eyes, more and more pronounced since she was spending her nights alone with Walter. She had seen his haggard looks every time she was kissing Walter. She had observed his defeated stance whenever she was smiling at Walter. She had also devastatingly noticed the way he was slowly backing away from the pregnancy.

Toby was still asking her every day about her well-being and providing her with every craving she might have, but he was doing it more and more mechanically, more and more emotionlessly.

Happy had questioned him about it once during one of the only interactions she had granted him lately.

"How come you haven't been harassing me with steaks and eggs lately?" she had asked in a failed attempt at humor.

Toby's answered had been sharp and cutting.

"You should be happy about it, you are the one who asked me to back away."

He had turned on his heels even before his sentence was over, leaving Happy with a giant lump in her throat.

Because contrary to what she was pretending, Happy was not okay either. She was so far from being okay that it was astounding to her that Toby was missing it. But Toby had his judgment clouded by his feelings for her and by the pain she was inflicting on him, so it made sense.

The reason of her behavior was both simple and complicated. Happy had never been more terrified in her whole life. Terrified to become a mother, terrified to lose Toby because of her lies about Walter, terrified about the drastic changes that were happening so fast in her life. Lately she had felt like she had no control over anything anymore and it was paralyzing her. She was overwhelmed like she had never been before and everything was just so much that sometimes she couldn't even breathe when thinking about it. Admitting to Toby that she was such in a bad emotional shape would shatter the frail control over herself she was so desperately trying to keep.

And most of all Happy was terrified of what Toby was thinking. She knew how badly she hurt him when she rejected his proposal. What if he couldn't trust her anymore? What if he hadn't rescinded the proposal just because she was pregnant? She had so many doubts and she was so scared of what Toby might say that she was unable to find the courage to talk to him.

Happy was caught up in the most painful vicious circle of her life. The more she was distressed the more she was pushing Toby away and the more she was pushing Toby away the more she was distressed. It was a living hell that she had no idea how to stop.

On impulse Happy ran after Toby outside the garage.

"Toby, wait!" she called just when he was about to enter his car. Toby turned to look at her.

"Do you need something?" he asked. His tone was quite gentle but disillusioned and his eyes were so sad that it badly wounded her.

"Well, I wanted to know how you are," she offered tentatively.

Toby shrugged. "Joyce is gonna be here any minute, Happy. We don't have time to talk." He sighed, then added bitterly, "And since when do you want to talk about how I am anyway?"

Happy wanted to answer, she wanted to protest but the air had been pushed out of her lungs at Toby's coldness. She watched him enter his car and leave, unable to move, heartbroken and more terrified than ever.

For the very first time it dawn on her that she could lose Toby for real if she kept acting the way she did. Happy's heart constricted painfully and she had to breathe to fight dizziness.

She couldn't keep thinking that Toby would be there, no matter the way she was treating him. She had taken his love for granted for too long and it was time she stopped. She couldn't keep pushing him away and hoping he would be there anyway. It was time she fought her every instincts and that she let Toby know all of her doubts and fears. She loved this man more than anything. Losing him was not an option. There was nothing Happy wanted more that spend her life with him and it was time he knew it.

Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. If you did please let me know, it always makes my day :-)