Chapter 17 - Daddy Issues

Staying behind, albeit reluctantly, from a mission in the Falling Forest to watch her eggs was something that Black Ice took very seriously. Given every horrible outcome that's happened recently, she knew she couldn't let her guard down.

"Now listen, your daddy is out fighting one of the most well-known and crafty villains out there: Chompy Mage. And as much as I hate to admit it, you all may have to fight evil like him one day, too," Black Ice firmly explained to the four eggs, as they sat silent and motionless on the living room couch. It wasn't until another moment or so passed by that Black Ice remembered that they might not even be able to hear her yet, so she chuckled sheepishly and rolled her eyes.

She then picked up the largest egg, the flawless white one with flame markings and roughly the size of a grape fruit, bringing it up to her face and gently kissing it, "As precious and beautiful as you all are now, you're a bit of a snore—and I can't wait to finally see you all, and neither can your-."

The dragoness was suddenly cut off when the front door opened, and the rest of the team strode in with prideful smiles.

"Did you catch him?" Black Ice questioned and put the egg back down.

"You bet we did, and you can thank JV for it!" Spyro happily replied, but his smile faltered when Jet-Vac was nowhere in sight, "Where'd he go?"

A faint wood creaking sound from upstairs gave everyone a pretty good idea.

"It's not like Jet-Vac to miss the celebration of a victory that happened on his account," Stealth Elf pointed out with concern.

"Unless something triggered the need to be alone. What happened out there?" Black Ice inquired.

"Well…he kinda laid an egg, like he does every time he gets scared," Eruptor explained in embarrassment.

"That's probably it."

"Yeah, I'd be pretty ashamed if I accidentally spawned something," Spyro simply added, but Eruptor and Black Ice gave him a deadpanned look.

"That being said—sounds like the old man needs a pep talk," Black Ice confirmed and headed upstairs, Spyro quickly following to apologize for his rude comment.

"Jet-Vac?" Black Ice softly called when they reached the attic.

"Yo, JV!" Spyro reassuringly greeted when he saw the said senior Skylander standing in the middle of the room with his head sulking over another fear-egg, "Hey, you seemed a little embarrassed after ploppin' your egg during the fight, so we just wanted to make sure you were ok-what is that?!"

Both Spyro and Black Ice gasped in awe at the sight of a wall decorated with beautifully colored eggs, but Jet-Vac only looked upon them with shame.

"What is up with all the eggs?" Black Ice asked.

"They're reminders of each time I've been afraid, week, and pitiful," Jet-Vac began sorrowfully, as the two dragons began scanning the various designs on the eggs, "This one's from the first time I faced Kaos…uh, that one's from when I was outsmarted by a band of Chomupies…and that one, well, I just found on an Easter egg hunt. Not sure how that got there."

"Ok," Spyro slowly stated.

Jet-Vac sighed as he placed the plain blue egg on the shelf, "Another notch in my wall of cowardice."

"Easy, big guy. So you were afraid today, big whoop," Black Ice tried to reassure.

"The biggest of whoops," Jet-Vac protested while staring at an old portrait of his father, "It's like my father always said: Son, if you're ever afraid, just remember—move out and change your name because you're not my son!"

The two dragons gasped when Jet-Vac got up in their faces just to prove his point, and they exchanged worried glances when the said senior Skylander let out another sigh of sorrow.

"I think you're being a little hard on yourself—and I definitely think your dad was a little hard on you," Spyro pointed out, muttering the last part under his breath.

"No, he was right. he was a military man like me, and he always said a good leader never shows fear—which means I'm not a good leader," Jet-Vac protested sadly, taking a seat on his bed.

"Even though your dad was tough on you, at least you know who he is," Spyro stated, placing a comforting paw on Jet-Vac's shoulder, "I'd give anything to know who my parents were, or anyone I was related to."

"Be careful what you wish for, Spyro. Maybe being raised by Eon was the best thing that could've happened to you, to the both of you." Spyro and Black Ice couldn't help but agree with the old bird.

"Well, who cares what your dad said? If he was a real father, he would've told you that fear is just an illusion," Black Ice reassured with a smile, gently taking one of Jet-Vac's hands into hers, "We think you're a great leader, Jet-Vac, and the Skylanders are lucky to have you as their leader."

"That's kind of you two to say," Jet-Vac informed as a small smile formed on his face—a very small one.

Since their first pep talk with Jet-Vac didn't work, Spyro and Black Ice gathered the rest of the team in the kitchen to form a plan on how to cheer up the old bird.

"Guys, JV's been pretty down on himself about the eggs-equal-fear-thing. He thinks he isn't a good leader," Spyro began.

"But if we show him how much we admire him and his leadership, he'll get over the whole ordeal and he can get back to being the uptight, bossy Jet-Vac we love," Black Ice explain, holding the smooth black egg while rubbing little circles on it; Eruptor gently cradled the one with the snowflake, which was the smallest of the brood; and the other two were safely nestled in a padded saddlebag on Black Ice's back.

"I never realized his egg plops represented fear. I thought he did it during battle to break the tension so we'd relax and fight better," Pop Fizz admitted in surprise.

"Uh, do you fight better when JV drops an egg?" Stealth Elf asked sarcastically.

Pop Fizz shook his head, "No, I do not."

Just then, the kitchen door swung open and none other than Jet-Vac walked in with guilt and distraught on his face.

"Oh, hey, Jet-Vac! There you are!" Spyro greeted dramatically, "Ya know, I was just telling the team how awesome it was that time you…"

Spyro tried to come up with an example but was stumped, so he looked to others for an answer; Stealth Elf randomly grabbed a can of beans and chucked it at Spyro, hoping for the best.

"Uh…taught me how to open a can," Spyro lied.

"What?" Jet-Vac questioned in disbelief.

"Yup. Uh, by doing do, you led me to a victory over my hunger. What a guy! Thanks again, JV. So inspiring." Unexpectedly, Spyro smiled and tossed the can out of the window.

"Right. So, I'll go get my lunch you hurled through the window," Jet-Vac stated dryly before heading outside.

The team then launched another plan by trying different ways to make Jet-Vac feel needed and admired; Pop Fizz tried to get dating advice, Stealth Elf had a short and awkward talk about financial decisions, and finally, Eruptor tried to have a cliché game of catch with him.

But for Jet-Vac, that was the last straw.

"Ok, stop! Just stop it! I know what you're all doing. You're trying to show you value me, and think of me as a good leader."

"Oh, ho! Busted!" Eruptor laughed heartily, as the rest of the team came out of their hiding spots in Jet-Vac's room.

"Yep," Spyro quickly replied.

"Oh, we were supposed ta hide it?" Pop Fizz questioned.

"It was Spyro's bad idea!" Stealth Elf accused, pointing a finger at the said purple dragon.

"So much for the element of surprise," Black Ice sighed in defeat.

"Well, don't do it anymore. As I've said before, I let my fear get the best of me way too often. And this wall is proof," Jet-Vac argued, referring to his wall of beautiful shame-eggs, "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to be left alone with my painful yet beautiful reminders, that I'm barely fit to lead this team. The last thing I need is someone else looking to me to show them how to do anything."

All of the sudden, a faint cracking echoed throughout the room, and everyone's eyes were instantly fixated on the new egg, as its blue shell wobbled and twitched before—SNAP!

The shell broke in two, and a tiny creature with blue skin and big yellow eyes peered out, "Mama?"

Jet-Vac could only gasp in horror.

"Dada," the little creature meekly called out again.

"What?!" the entire team exclaimed in utter shock.

After realizing that this thing was indeed a baby, they took it downstairs to set it comfortably in some blankets, as everyone ogled over it.

"Aww!" Stealth Elf cooed while tickling the baby, only for it to sneeze all over her hand and she recoiled in disgust.

"How can this be?! How can I be a father?! Especially when there's so much evil on the prowl, and Skylands needs us more than ever!" Jet-Vac ranted on while pacing.

"Welcome ta the club, old man," Eruptor chuckled boastfully.

Jet-Vac only ignored the lava monster, "Plus, there's so much to figure out with a child. A proper name, how to change diapers, staging adorable photo shoots celebrating every month I keep this thing alive…"

"Look, JV, we're actually kinda shocked that you're handling this rather well," Black Ice admitted.

"Well, becoming a father is scary. But it's like my father always said: Don't run from fear. Collect it and put it on display to remind you that you will never live up to the expectations I saddled you with your entire life," Jet-Vac explained hysterically.

"Man, you've got daddy issues bad," Black Ice hissed through clenched teeth.

"And what does all that have ta do with becoming a dad?" Pop Fizz asked.

"Don't you see? This baby is the living embodiment of my fears. If I can take care of a child, perhaps I'll have conquered all of my fears once and for all."

Jet-Vac smiled in excitement at that realization, and he carefully picked up the strange youngling, "Now then, I'm just gonna go change and/or…water you."

With that, Jet-Vac left with his baby to figure out how to take care of it, starting a whole twisted series of events of how the rest of the team reacted to the baby when he returned.

They heard that the baby had nearly strangled Eon to death with his own beard, he attacked Pop Fizz some time after that, and the others teammates were completely vulnerable when they went for a walk with Jet-Vac and his baby.

And when the evil-eyed little thing grabbed Jet-Vac's Vac Gun, it all went downhill from there.

"Incoming toaster!" Stealth Elf warned as she jumped out of the way of the line of fire, and the baby kept firing without Jet-Vac noticing at all.

"Skillet!" Spyro shouted, just barely dodging the said cast iron cooking utensil.

"Bag of cats!" Eruptor exclaimed when a bag of live cats came hurling towards Black Ice and the eggs, so he quickly jumped in the way to protect them.

"Are you ok?!" Black Ice gasped and helped her dazed lover back up, only for him to growl and ignite his hands immediately afterwards, threatening to destroy Jet-Vac's baby.

But unlike the previous three shots his baby took with his own gun, Jet-Vac finally noticed the commotion and turned around, glaring at Eruptor, "Eruptor! How many times do I have to tell you? No lava near the baby!"

As Jet-Vac turned and continued walking, his child grinned maniacally back at the others, and they glared daggers back at him now that they had a personal vendetta.

"Funny. I thought I would be the one to say that," Black ice joked sheepishly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Aside from that, we are hiding our kids from that beast that JV calls a 'little angel'," Eruptor firmly instructed with hateful air quotes.

Later that afternoon, Jet-Vac called for Sprocket's help in putting together a crib in the Grand Library, while the others watched his baby for him.

"Four easy steps with one tiny wrench, and fifty-six pieces of wood? Oh, come on, SkyKea!" Jet-Vac read the instructions aloud in frustration.

"Not gonna lie, JV, this usually takes me, like, four tries to get right, even with all my tech powers," Sprocket admitted in shame.

Meanwhile, Hugo was trying to chase and calm down Jet-Vac's baby, but it proved easier said than done when the little thing suddenly snarled and turned its head around like the demon in The Exorcist.

"The power of Eon compels you! The Power of Eon compels you…to do what, I have no idea," Hugo demanded while spraying the baby with Eon's beard spray.

But the baby dodged the scented spray and jumped around on everyone's heads, blowing a raspberry back at Hugo before landing in Eruptor's arms.

"What is the meaning of this?" Jet-Vac scolded when he saw Eruptor with his child, who immediately calmed down and smiled innocently.

"Nothing," Stealth Elf denied.

"He's just so cute," Spyro pointed out nervously.

"W-We're playing baby games," Eruptor replied with a fake smile.

"Yeah…games," Black Ice chuckled in fear. But then the baby leapt out of Eruptor's arms and grabbed some of the nuts and bolts that came with the crib, chucking them at Black Ice.

But before she could get hit, she cloaked herself in thick shadows, becoming completely intangible to the flying objects.

"Ha!" Black Ice mocked when the baby seemingly stopped, only for him to throw one last unexpected wrench at her, which successfully hit her in the head, "Ok…point taken…"

Eruptor luckily caught the dragoness before she fell over from the throbbing of her head, and he sent the coldest scowl of them all when the others looked at Jet-Vac and his baby accusingly.

"What? He's just a baby, he didn't know what he was doing," Jet-Vac chuckled in defense, holding his baby close and checking his wrist for a watch that wasn't even there, "Oh, it's time for his nap! See ya!"

"Is it just me, or does that gremlin know exactly what it's doing?" Spyro asked once Jet-Vac was gone.

"Totally!" Stealth Elf hissed.

"He's a terrorist!" Eruptor growled.

"He's small and horrific, like a bee!" Pop Fizz added in fear.

"I like it when you guys include me," Hugo admitted softly.

"Guys, we gotta do something, and fast," Spyro demanded.

"But before you do, could you guys unite to help me with this crib?" Sprocket called, mimicking Eon's voice at one point.

Eventually, Sprocket and the others gave up on the crib and decided to take a break, to which Master Eon called a team meeting at their house. But little did Jet-Vac know that there was more to this meeting than he would like.

"Oh, hey! I'm the last here for the emergency team meeting? Well, makes sense. New dad and all," Jet-Vac began in surprise while taking a seat and putting his baby down, "So, what's up, Eon?"

"Jet-Vac, this isn't a team meeting—it's an intervention," Eon firmly informed.

"Great! Well, can we make it quick? I was just about to teach the baby how to shave."

"Actually, he is the reason we're here."

"Look, JV, about your kid…there's no easy way to say this, so we put it on a cake," Spyro explained as Pop Fizz presented a fancy cake to Jet-Vac.

"Mmm, cake! 'Your kid is so evil'," Jet-Vac read the decorative frosting aloud, but his smile faltered when he realized who it was referring to, "Your kid…m-meaning, my kid? How can you say such a thing?!"

"We can't. That's why we put it on a cake," Pop Fizz corrected.

"Jet-Vac, he tried to choke Eon with his own beard," Eruptor pointed out.

"He's excited because he just learned how to tie knots," Jet-Vac protested.

"He destroyed all my potions," Pop Fizz added.

"His hand-eye coordination isn't that good. But don't you do that same thing, like, all the time?"

"He's got me there…"

"He's also tried to steal our eggs, like, five times today. Five times!" Black Ice exclaimed in annoyance.

"Look, he's just a baby! A sweet, loving, misunderstood baby."

"Then how do you explain that?" Eon asked and pointed behind Jet-Vac, where the baby drew 'I love evil' on the wall with a crayon. He then growled and snatched the cake from Pop Fizz, chucking it at Eruptor, who was helpless to dodge it and was covered in splattered cake and frosting.

Jet-Vac then accepted the truth, sulking his head and sighing, "Right. my boy is evil."

The old bird then took his son upstairs to deal with him, and Black Ice tried to help Eruptor clean up, awkwardly pulling the platter away while the majority of the cake still stuck to his face.

"And here, I thought you couldn't get any sweeter," Black Ice giggled after dragging a claw over the frosting and bringing it to her mouth for a taste.

"Oh, really? Well, have some more!" Eruptor laughed before scraping off most of the cake, and flinging it at his lover; she was so surprised that she fell off the couch and laughed uncontrollably.

"If you guys are done horsing around, we should really plan on how to separate Jet-Vac from his baby," Stealth Elf cut in flatly.

"So, what do we do? Jet-Vac will never leave his kid alone," Eruptor questioned.

"We're going to have to distract JV, grab the baby, and take it back to where we found him," Spyro explained in confidence.

"How?" Black Ice asked, still trying to scrap off the thick cake and frosting.

"I can distract JV by watching Skylands Got Skillz with him," Pop Fizz suggested.

"Great idea, Pop! You guys watch TV, we'll nab the baby," Spyro confirmed.

"What if he cries? Jet-Vac will hear," Stealth Elf quickly pointed out.

"So we'll put him in a sack," Spyro added in annoyance.

"A really thick sack? Sacks aren't soundproof," Eruptor grimly pointed out.

"So I'll turn up the volume really loud on the TV," Pop Fizz argued.

"What if he bites through the sack?!" Eruptor scolded.

"We'll have more sacks!" Stealth Elf snapped.

"But what if he eats he way out of the second sack, escapes, and ties us all up with a rope he's made with the remaining sacks?"

Stealth Elf could only stare at Eruptor in great disappointment of his persistence.

"Can we please plan this without Eruptor?" Stealth Elf growled.

"I don't think so! Who would ask the hard-hitting questions?" Eruptor protested.

"You mean the over complicated ones," Black Ice stated matter-of-factly.

But before they could continue arguing, Jet-Vac came downstairs, carrying his son and a few bags of luggage as he approached the front door.

"Jet-Vac, where are you going?" Spyro asked out of concern.

"Anywhere but here. You're right, my son is far too dangerous here, especially with your own kids on the way," Jet-Vac replied while sharing a look of concern with Eruptor and Black Ice, "So, I'm taking my son with me to a safer place, where I can raise him without him causing any more trouble."

The others didn't know what to say. It was his child, so only he could decide what to do with it. They could only silently watch as their beloved team leader opened the door, preparing to head out into the unknown world with his evil spawn.

But as soon as Jet-Vac opened the door, he was instantly greeted by a Greeble couple with a similar blue egg.

"We want our son back!" the female Greeble demanded.

Confused and intrigued, Jet-Vac let the Greebles in and even offered them some tea, sitting down with them as they explained that Jet-Vac's baby was actually their baby Greeble.

"Seriously, we thought you'd realize you took the wrong egg by now," the female Greeble nagged.

"A baby Greeble looks nothing like a bird, Guy…or a bird-guy," the male Greeble added.

"Right. Well, then, yes…" Jet-Vac began, holding his own blue and lifeless egg in his claws, "Now that you've pointed it out, it does seem very obvious."

"Hey!" Stealth Elf shouted and suddenly teleported outside, snatching one of her blades from the baby Greeble before he could murder an innocent sheep, "No! Naughty!"

She then grabbed the baby and teleported him back inside, quickly putting him down before he could try to hurt her, too.

"Greeble family, I have a confession to make," Jet-Vac reluctantly began, "It seems I've raised your son to by infinitely evil. I don't know how it happened, but I am so sorry. I'll do whatever it takes to-."

"Are you kidding?!" the wife interrupted, a satisfied grin creeping onto her and her husband's face, "This kid is way more evil that we could've hoped for!"

Jet-Vac was perplexed, "Uh…come again?"

"Look, we Greebles are pretty evil to begin with, but it looks like under your care, Junior here has thrived," the husband explained with a chuckle, "I mean, he's already mastered theft, weaponry, and hostage taking. They usually don't do that until kindergarten!"

As if to prove his point, the baby Greeble suddenly captured Eruptor in a big sack, as the lava monster helplessly cried out for help and wriggled to escape, but to no avail.

"Get off the baby daddy!" Black Ice scolded and pushed the baby off of Eruptor, but she had to continue fending him off because he wouldn't give up.

"So, I didn't fail as a parent?" Jet-Vac asked with hope.

"JV, you did the opposite of failed," Spyro reassured with a smirk, "You succeeded in helping a young Greeble grow to be more evil than he's supposed to be."

"Spyro's right. You faced your parenting fears, and were willing to sacrifice everything to make a new life with your son," Pop Fizz went on dramatically.

"And as much as it goes against my own paternal instincts—I gotta admit you did a pretty good job raising this kid, too," Black Ice huffed, trying to catch her breath when the baby Greeble finally gave up on laying siege on poor Eruptor.

"You're right. I am a successful parent. In your face, Dad!" Jet-Vac shouted in pride, leaping onto the coffee table and pointing to the heavens.

But the Greeble couple was rather freaked out by the old bird's sudden burst of energy, and they exchanged confused glances.

"We're gonna take our son and go," the wife slowly stated, as her husband picked up their son, "Fight ya another day, Skylanders!"

With that, the Greeble family left, finally complete, but the baby started longingly back at Jet-Vac, wanting to stay with him. And Jet-Vac could only shed a single tear, as he watched his only child, albeit fake, disappear.

"Goodbye. You've changed me for the better, and I shall never forget you…um…" Jet-Vac sniffled before remembering an important factor.

"You didn't name him, did you?" Stealth Elf questioned flatly.

"I know I forgot something. Curses!"

"You still done good, JV," Spyro complimented, only for Jet-Vac to glare when he saw his teeth.

"Spyro, how many times do I have to tell you to floss daily? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, Mate. Also, the living room is not your bedroom. Clean this sty pronto, Skypiggies!" Jet-Vac sighed and rolled his eyes and great disappointment. "Honestly, where would you all be without me?"

"My guess is hopeless and lost," Black Ice figured with a grin after finally freeing Eruptor from the heavily impounded sack, "Which reminds me, we should really go get our own kids back."

"Where did you put them, anyway?" Pop Fizz inquired.

"We left 'em with Hugo," Eruptor simply replied.

Black Ice secretly tried to rush when trying to get Eruptor out of the house, as fear and guilt hung in her conscious.

"Eruptor, we need to talk," she finally stated.

"If it's about last night, I swear, I forgot ta pace myself," Eruptor apologized.

A deep blush spread across Black Ice's face, "Not that! It's the kids!"

The lava monster blinked, "What about 'em?"

Black Ice stopped in her tracks and sighed, "You saw how we dealt with that baby Greeble—what if we can't even handle our own kinds when they misbehave?"

"Hey, there's a difference between misbehavior and just plain evil." Eruptor gently cupped Black Ice's face, looking into her eyes contently. "Our family won't be like that because we'll be the best parents ever."

The dragoness giggled in defeat, "Promise?"

"Promise."

Seems that Eruptor is more enthralled about becoming a father than he let's on. But will he really be ready to face the challenge of parenthood?

Until the next chapter, I'm TRikiD, bye-bye!