Disclaimer: Many names of people, places and events in this story is fictional and has no relation to real people, places and events. This was written purely for entertainment purposes and shall not be used anything other than its intended purpose.

Any resemblance to real people are to be treated as a mere coincidence. No specific names are mentioned for this purpose.

This is not propaganda. This is merely an idea, a thought experiment, taken to an extreme.

Oregairu belongs to Wataru Watari

Chapter 1: Homecoming

It all started when an orange monkey was elected to become the president of the United States.

To be honest though, everyone should have seen the signs years ago. The state of the world can only get worse, not better.

However, the orange monkey was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

In short order, the monkey managed to cause the third world war.

History had shown us just how much damage an idiot can do once handed a position of power. The orange monkey, however, took it to a whole new level.

Within the first few months of his presidency, he had declared that since the other countries of NATO do not pay their dues, the US had no reason to defend them.

Russia's leader immediately ordered the invasion of many of its neighboring countries shorty after this announcement.

Faced with overwhelming force and the threat of nuclear annihilation, Russia's neighbors quickly fell one after another. Other European nations cried in outrage and quickly attempted to mobilize their armed forces.

While all this happened, North Korea launched its first successful nuclear bomb. The city of Seoul in South Korea disappeared from the map.

The first year of the war was total hell.

South Korea was annexed quickly. There was no more North or South, the whole country was just called Korea but they waved the flag of the North. After this, they declared who their next target was.

Japan.

There was country-wide panic. People lived in constant worry while the leaders tried to assure them that they would not get nuked. Some believed Japan's ally, the US would save them, others believed that history would repeat itself and started to build nuclear shelters.

Korea sent punitive forces to test Japan's defenses that quickly retreated at the first sign of retaliation. However, everyone knew that the war was just beginning.

By then, Russia had already annexed Poland, Ukraine, and Romania.

And still, the US did nothing.

Without nuclear weapons of our own, Japan was facing imminent defeat.

After a week into the war had already shown us that we needed an extra edge if we wanted to survive. The only consolation was Korea had not resorted to nuking us yet. With the power of what used to be two countries, they probably believed they could easily win.

The war had escalated so fast that I was drafted straight to the JSDF right after I graduated from Sobu High.

I've never been one to spend much effort into anything. My motto has always been "to work is to lose". In the military however, to not work is to die.

I've always believed in my high specs. My natural qualities had carried me this far into life after all. In the face of war however, they were almost meaningless. If you're weak, you die. If you're slow, you die. If you're stupid, you die. If you don't improve yourself, you die. There was no room for mistakes.

The worse part was, your mistakes will not only get you killed, but also your unit.

You don't want to be the one to let everyone down.

That was the moment that marked the death of my dream of becoming a house-husband.

Seriously, talk about shitty timing.

I had always taken pride in being a loner. Without need for anyone, without loving anyone more than myself (and my little sister, of course), I looked down on the people around me, who needed the shallow relationships they form with each other just to have a sense of identity.

The JSDF was nothing like the world I left behind.

Your comrades, the people who trained with you, the people who depended on you, the people who will be there with you, the people who forced their way into your life and never let go.

It was almost like having a second family.

Sorry, Komachi, please forgive your onii-chan for this infidelity. But know, that you will be the only imouto for me.

Ah, that was definitely worth a lot of points!

It's been four years since I left home. A lot has definitely changed since then. I have grown taller. I've definitely put on some muscle. You kinda had to, in order to survive. My face had become older. I felt older too.

My eyes still retained their fabulous rotten sheen though. Heh, at least Komachi would still be able recognize her onii-chan even after so long.

The most obvious change however, and one I still have not gotten used to, was my missing left arm.

Amputated at the shoulder, it still aches when the painkillers wore off. There was the phantom feeling that it should be there, a reliable limb that have never failed me before. It was hard, I still try to reach for things with my left, only to remember that my trusted left hand have left me. Forever.

Speaking of lost limbs, half of my left foot had been amputated too. Compared to my lost arm, it wasn't that big of a deal. I could still walk perfectly. Except for the limp. Let's not talk about that. Somehow, it feels like I've become some cheap knockoff of that one grumpy doctor from that one American tv drama.

I glared at the walking stick in my right hand.

At least it wasn't my right hand that was lost, right? There was a reason why us males had stronger right arms after all.

Heh, I'm hilarious.

"Senpai, you're making that face again."

I turned to my kohai.

"What face? My face is always like this."

"No, no." He waved his hand, burn scars covering the appendage. "Your normal face is seriously creepy but that just now was like, how do I explain it... fifty times creepier than usual."

"Oi, is that something you should say to your senpai?"

"Eh?! No, sorry, senpai."

He quickly looked down at the ground, shamefaced.

I clapped him on the shoulder and started walking.

"Relax, I'm just messing with you."

Takagi Ryunosuke. Three years younger than me. Likes shounen manga, sweets, and computers. A hardcore fan of the idol group AKB48. His oshimen: Takahashi Minami.

This idiot was such a hardcore fan that upon returning to Japan, the first thing he did was drag me to an AKB48 concert.

The place was packed. What must have been thousands of people were crammed tightly within Yokohama Stadium.

I've never been good with people. That was a fact that hadn't changed even after all this time. Being surrounded by so many strangers gathered in once place after living only with people I could practically call family for years gave me a strange sense of paranoia.

I reached into my pocket and swallowed a pill.

I've never liked idols.

The idea that people were so weak-willed that they needed someone to fantasize about to escape their boring, mediocre lives, had never sat right with me. The smiles they showed their fans had always seemed fake and forced. The me back then, who had been seeking a true, genuine relationship, no matter how hard, no matter how painful, had detested the very existence of idols.

Those I saw on the stage were not particularly talented. The songs had a simple melody, and the dance was not particularly exciting. It made sense in a way. The more complicated something is, the more room there is for errors. Not everyone had the same vocal range and training either. A unit is only as strong as its weakest member. It seemed like the group was structured with that in mind.

Even Takagi's oshimen did not look very impressive on stage. She was short, and while not ugly, she wasn't the cutest one there either. It made me wonder why Takagi liked her as much as he did.

"I don't get it." I muttered under my breath.

"Senpai?" Takagi turned to me. I forgot his hearing was as sharper than my own. Then again, the slight tinnitus in my left ear gave me a disadvantage.

"Nothing." With that, we both watched the concert with a clear difference in enthusiasm.

I guess it doesn't matter. Just seeing how happy going to this concert made him was enough for me. He had been going on about this particular concert for months after he hacked into the internet while we were in a sabotage mission in Syria, lamenting about not being able to go.

After having gone through what we did though, he definitely deserved the break. We both did.

"I've been a fan since I was in middle school, you know."

I glanced at Takagi who was still staring transfixed at the show. Holy hell, were those tears?

"I grew up listening to their music, going to their concerts... I even took on some part-time jobs to buy their CDs. They weren't that great when they started out, and I'm sure senpai still doesn't think much of them even now."

Was I that transparent? Then again, this guys knew me almost too well. It shouldn't be surprising that he can guess my thoughts this accurately. It's creepy though. Very creepy.

"But you know, senpai, seeing them try their hardest, seeing them work so hard to reach their dreams, it inspired me... Supporting them gave the me from back then a goal to strive for... seeing the effort they put in to their work made me want to try my best too. When they finally reached their dreams, I was happy for them. I know it wouldn't make sense to senpai, but back then I felt like I achieved something too."

I grunted in response.

"But I'm sure even senpai can see the results of their efforts, right? This sense of unity in the group, the way they support each other, encourage each other to do their best... they're just like us, aren't they?"

And just like that, I began to see his point.

"TakaMina-san was one of the first members of the group. Back then, she could barely dance. Her movements looked sloppy and compared to everyone else, she didn't stand out much. But she kept at it and she got better. When new members arrived, she was the reliable senpai who always encouraged them, who gave them advice. She was the leader who cared for them, who always worried for them.

And now, she's leaving them behind."

On the stage, one by one, members of the idol group thanked Takahashi and wished her the best. Much tears were shed over painful good byes.

It was clear that she was the nice girl that everyone loved.

My interest peaked at as I noticed a familiar face on stage.

I squinted to get a better view of the stage. Isn't that...

She hadn't changed much from the last time I saw her. She had the same coral-colored hair tied in a bun on the side of her head. Even from this distance, I can feel an aura of air-headedness coming from her.

So this is what she had been up to for the last four years huh.

Now that I think about it, Yuigahama Yui did seem like she would make a good idol. She was likeable and outgoing, always with a smile. She must have been quite good too, seeing how she was able to perform on the same stage with the more senior members of the group already.

A sniffle drew my attention to Takagi.

"It's crazy how time passes, right, senpai? Sometimes it feels like I'm dreaming. As if it was only yesterday that I went to my first concert, and now Takamina-san is graduating from the group. It's nostalgic. It feels like a part of me had also graduated... it's kinda painful and bittersweet."

To Takagi, who had been a hardcore fan, it surely must have been like the world was ending.

I couldn't even begrudge him this. It was what kept him sane and grounded in the war after all.

Being in an unfamiliar land, doing unfamiliar things... it was very stressful. Our unit alone had slaughtered hundreds of strangers. Our missions ranged from sabotage, to support, to reconnaissance, to downright assassination. We were the best of the best but in some ways, more fragile than anyone else.

Everyone had their own ways of coping and we tried not to get in each others' way of that. So what if the Captain had a drinking problem? So what if the explosives expert has a porn addiction? Compared to those guys, the intelligence specialist's obsession with idols was almost normal.

We've been through hell and back, seen the worst things people could do to one another and kept ourselves mostly sane. We did pretty well considering all that.

There were times however, when we questioned ourselves. What are we doing here? What are we even fighting for?

These thoughts had swam through my head during every deployment, during every landing to different countries, through every kill.

I had never felt so disgusted with myself.

It was only the thought that what I've been doing kept the war from reaching the shores of Japan, from reaching my sister, that kept me going.

Without these kinds of convictions, we surely would not have survived as long.

We needed something to believe in.

For Takagi, who always boasted that he had every single CD ever released by AKB48 to anyone who would listen, it was his fantasy of getting a date with his oshimen that kept him going. Even though he knew that the chances of it happening was close to zero, he still believed.

With his parents dead and being an only child, there was no one for him to come back to, no one who would wait for his return. He had no close friends. If he were to die in some mission to a foreign country, no one would miss him.

But even then he turned out to be a good kid, so eager to please. He did not deserve to be in this war. None of us did.

"Thank you for coming with me, senpai." Takagi choked out as the concert drew to a close. "It really means a lot to me."

He was looking at me with a smile even as tears ran down his face.

Like so many times before, this kid's sincerity made me feel uncomfortable without even trying.

"It was nothing."

I took my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through the numbers. I wonder if she's changed her number...

"Hey Takagi."

"Yes?"

"You have anywhere to stay tonight?"

Takagi looked aside awkwardly. "I... don't think so. I mean, I haven't been home in so long. My landlord's probably rented out my old place by now."

"I see. You can stay the night in my house then."

"Eh? I don't want to impose. I—I mean, you've already done so much for me..."

I waved him off. "It's not a big deal, you're practically family already. And it's only fair. You've shown me your anchor so I think it's only fair I show you mine."

Takagi's face lit up in awe.

"Ehhhhh? Really? You'll introduce me to Komachi-sama?!" Takagi looked like someone had told him he won the lottery. Oi, stop it. I know my sister's the best thing since sliced bread but isn't that reaction too much? I mean, I am pretty sure her cuteness was on the level of gods and her smile can make anyone's day 9000 times better but don't you dare get any ideas there, kohai! No one on this planet is a match good enough for the condensed awesomeness that was Komachi.

"Calm down, or I'll toss you in a ditch."

Takagi wisely shut his mouth after that.

===Break===

There were many times in a person's life where a situation feels so surreal that he feels as if he's dreaming. Like meeting a famous person face to face, or suddenly getting the news of a close friend's death.

As I stood in front of the house I spent my childhood in, this feeling hit me unexpectedly, making me freeze with my hand held up at the doorbell. It was hard to believe it's only been four years. Then again, four years was a long time. What I've gone through in those four years would have been enough to break most men.

Worries for my family that I hard buried for those years began resurfacing in my mind. How was my family doing? Was Komachi eating properly? Was she getting enough sleep? Did my parents finally spare some time to keep her company while her onii-chan was away? Was she the top student when she graduated? Was she missing her onii-chan? Would she hate me for not contacting her through all this time?

Would she even be able to accept what I've become?

"Senpai?"

Takagi was looking at me with a curious expression.

"Ah, it's nothing."

I buried those thoughts with the ease of long practice. No one answered the door with the first ring of the doorbell. I expected this though. It was almost nearing midnight after all. Komachi should be in her first year of University by now had she gone to college. Knowing how much better she is than me at studying, I believed that she would have no problems getting into the best one around.

I ran the door bell five more times before I heard a frustrated yell from inside.

"I'm coming! Seriously, who in their right mind would be coming over at this hour?!"

Hearing her voice made a knot loosen in my chest. It felt as if something was lifted off my shoulders, a bundle of worries that seemed to evaporate just by hearing her voice, that she was safe and alive.

I heard my sister stop behind the door and look through the peek hole. There was a startled gasp before the door was thrown open and the wide, disbelieving eyes of my sister gazed into my own. I saw shock, relief, and many more in those soulful eyes.

Faced with such genuine emotions, I could only awkwardly wave my hand.

"Yo."

That seemed to snap her out of her shock and she launched herself at me. Her hug was almost unbearably painful but I didn't mind. Nothing could have felt much better at that moment than confirming that my sister was right here, well and alive.

A sniffle made me look down as she sobbed into my chest. I patted her head.

"Onii-chan, you idiot. Hic... four years and you haven't even called once. We didn't know if you were even still alive..."

"I'm sorry." were the only words I could offer.

"Hic...stupid onii-chan... that's not what you were supposed to say."

I ran through the appropriate responses in my head and immediately discarded the first few that came up. It took a full minute before I finally found it, buried under years of misuse.

"I'm home, Komachi."

"Welcome home, Onii-chan."

===Break===

I woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking. Needless to say, I didn't get a good night's sleep, haven't for a while. Adding to my eye's rotten look were heavy dark bags. Sleeping pills are fine and all but I really didn't want to be too dependent on them.

I headed to the kitchen after my morning rituals to find an unusual sight.

"Komachi-sama! Such marvelous cooking! These surely are the work of the gods!" Takagi eyes were leaking emotional tears as he shoveled my sister's cooking into his mouth.

"Ehe...um... but these are just normal omelets..." my sister looked to be at a loss.

Trust me, my sweet imouto, I know just how you feel.

"Ehhh?! You cook these kinds of heavenly food everyday?! Surely, your best recipes would blow my mind!"

Komachi decided to ignore him after that. A wise choice. Truly, our bond as siblings allowed us to be of the same mind.

"Ah! Onii-chan!"

With that, I found myself in another of her hugs. Now that the shock of seeing me had worn off, she was more gentle, a fact which my ribs definitely appreciate.

"Good morning, onii-chan." Komachi said almost giddily.

"Good morning."

With that done, I sat myself at the breakfast table. The food definitely looked normal. Although it looked good, I don't see what Takagi could be crying about. With a quick "itadakimasu", I took my first bite of a home-cooked meal in what felt like forever.

Hmm... the taste was just as I remembered. Not bad but not something you could really sell in a restaurant. In short, it was just a normally cooked meal that you would feed your family.

Yet, somehow, it felt more than that.

"Eh? Onii-chan, do you not like it?" Komachi asked in a worried tone.

"Of course I like it. I could never dislike food cooked by my cute imouto. Ah, that was worth a lot of points."

Instead of retorting with her usual cheer, Komachi merely reached forward and gently cupped my cheek, using her thumb to wipe the liquid that poured from my eyes.

"Then why are you crying?"

I blinked and touched my cheek.

"Huh... so I am."

Komachi looked worried.

"Are you really okay, onii-chan?"

"Yes...yes. I'm just happy to be home."

After breakfast, Takagi took out his laptop and quickly went back to work. Poor guy. To work even during his vacation must have been hell but the war waits for no one. Although hostilities were winding down, nothing had been resolved as of yet. Takagi's hacking skills were now more valuable than ever.

Genius that he was, he had already created millions of bots to sweep through every electronic devices worldwide. Now he just had to sort through the information and pick out which ones needed to be acted upon.

Takagi had a short stint in the intelligence department as a newbie before he was transferred into our unit to work in the field. The captain had been begging for a long time for a hacker but the higher ups really didn't want to risk losing precious human resource to what amounted to suicide missions.

The captain had argued over and over that if we only had someone with hacking skills with us, that our missions would not seem as suicidal otherwise. In the end, they stuck us with the new guy. Fortunately for us, Takagi was a genius. He just hasn't been there long enough to showcase his skills. Either way, with him on the team, our missions went much smoother.

Turned out, the captain was right. Takagi's skills had definitely come in handy many times, from when we needed to destroy supply depots, to delay mobilization of enemy troops, to assassinating commanders, to destroying heavily fortified bases.

We were even able to dismantle a nuclear warhead and kill a swath through the enemy chain of command with his skills.

Not that the enemy knew about it. For all they knew, they had been done in by a series of unfortunate accidents. We were very careful, especially on sabotage missions. Plausible deniability and all that.

The motto had always been to prioritize our survival above everything else. Opportunity comes and goes. We were fighting a long war. If too many risks piled up, we abandon the plan and make another one. We were not heroes. Heroes died. We can't do anything if we're dead.

Still, it was this kind of mentality that had allowed us to be as effective as we were.

All in all, it had been a productive four years.

I swung my walking stick slowly, trying to get a feel for the form. Now that I'm one arm short, much of my fighting style had to be adapted. It was harder than it looks. I felt naked, as if my left side was always exposed, which it probably was.

Komachi had been following me around throughout the day. As it was, she watched closely as I tried to familiarize myself with my disability.

Still, don't you have other important things to do, Komachi? I know you love your onii-chan, but don't you have school?

Oh well, it's not like I minded.

"Neh, onii-chan," I turned toward Komachi, who looked hesitant as she talked. "How did you lose your arm?"

Ah. She must have been curious but was probably holding it in since she was a considerate person.

Truly, I have the best little sister in the world.

"Lost it to a grenade." I shrugged and went back to swinging my stick. It definitely felt weird. I was so used to having two sticks to swing around that my body sometimes reflexively try to swing with my left. Gonna need to break that habit soon.

Well, I probably have time to work on it. It's not like they will be sending me back out to the field anytime soon.

Besides, there were rarely even times when I actually got to fight. My role in the unit is definitely dangerous but unlike some of the others, combat was not my specialty.

Our unit's job was not to fight. It was to make sure that the enemy couldn't.

That said, the captain still made sure everyone was at least proficient in combat. Whenever there was a break in our activities, he would always drill us in combat situations and sparring.

Hellish his training might be, but the captain ensured we didn't die preventable deaths in the field.

Yet despite all that, I was still too slow and lost my arm though.

If there was anything I took pride in during my younger years, it was my resilience. No matter how harsh of a blow I took, I was always able to bounce back to my cynical, normal self.

Losing my arm was traumatizing but there was nothing I could do about it now. I could only move forward.

I stopped swinging my walking stick the moment I felt Komachi's arms wrap around my waist.

"Onii-chan, I don't know what happened but if you ever need me, I'll be here, okay?"

I nodded.

The world might have turned into shit but as long as my family was safe, I could care less at that point

The door opened at that moment and Takagi came out, backpack slung on his shoulders and a determined expression on his face.

"Senpai! This one shall be heading out," he saluted.

"You're done already?" I asked. Takagi wasn't the type of guy to leave work unfinished. "Where are you going?"

"Akihabara."

I should have known.

"Well, it's been a while." Takagi rubbed his head. "Lot's of new manga, anime, and music came out that I need to catch up on."

"Eh? I wanna go to!"

"You've just met yesterday and you already trust him this much?" Seriously, Komachi, I thought you were more cautious than that.

"Ehhhhh. He can't be that bad. To be able to put up with onii-chan, this guy must be a saint."

Damn, I forgot how cute that fanged grin of hers was.

"Fine, but I'm coming too."

===Break===

Despite all the changes that four years have brought, Akihabara was still the otaku haven that I remembered. Some new shops have popped up here and there but the general atmosphere was still the same.

Seeing Takagi buy entire collections of merchandise had made Komachi gape.

"Neh, onii-chan, how much does the JSDF pay?" Komachi tugged my sleeve with a surprised expression.

"Not much."

"Then how can he buy so much?"

Her shock was understandable. The stuff that Takagi bought had easily cost hundreds of thousands of yen. He had bought so much that he ended up buying a cart to drag around with him too. Oi, stop it. People are staring, you know? Have you lost all sense of shame?

I looked back at Komachi, who was still staring at me.

"He's rich. Don't ask me how. I don't wanna know."

Anyway, it looks like Takagi's going to take a while and I don't really want to follow him around with half my foot missing.

With that in mind, we promised to meet up later at a cafe. It looked like Takagi barely heard us though.

===Break===

"Onii-chan."

"Hmm?" I glanced at Komachi as I slurped my ramen. She looked uncharacteristically serious.

"You haven't asked about mom and dad at all since you came back."

I shrugged.

"We were really worried, you know. The JSDF wouldn't tell us anything. We didn't even know if you were still alive. I've always believed though. Even when everyone else lost hope, I've always believed that you would come back to us."

"Well, you know me. How did Yukinoshita put it? Ah, didn't she say I was a cockroach? Even a nuclear bomb wouldn't kill me."

Instead of making her laugh like I intended, Komachi only gave me a sad smile.

"It was hard, onii-chan. Every time I turn on the tv, they always show how many people died in the war so far. I was always so scared thinking you could be someone within those numbers."

I've never been good at dealing with these kinds of situations, even when it concerned my own sister. Not knowing what else to do, I gently patted her head.

"Then, everyone else was coming home. Even Tobe-senpai came back. And even then, he was like a totally different person. I'm glad onii-chan came home but at the same time, I'm worried. Onii-chan definitely looks the same as before but I'm sure onii-chan changed too, right? I know onii-chan probably hides it to not make me worry but onii-chan should only worry about himself. That's what I'm here for, you know. No matter how much onii-chan change, he will always be my onii-chan."

I had stopped eating midway through my meal. Seriously, some ninjas must be chopping onions somewhere.

There was no way I'd have cried twice in one day otherwise.

===End Chapter 1===

A/N:

I don't know why my brain farted out this story.

Sorry if it was shit.

Thank you for reading.