Lightening rocked the inn at the Thunder Plains, and upstairs, in his bed,
Auron jolted awake.
His sleep had been light, troubled. For obvious reasons, he had not crossed into the Farplane with the rest of the group at Guadosalam. But it never failed to escape him how much people seemed changed when they returned. It was perfectly understandable, of course. Seeing the dead. See someone who seems so very alive and just outside your reach. Knowing that if you were seeing them, then they were dead.
Auron had seen it in Yuna's face. Sorrow mixed with a kind of quiet strength. Seen it in Wakka's face, as he talked with his dead brother. Auron severely doubted that if the trip to Guadosalam had not been made at this particular point in time, Wakka would have made the journey on his own. Chappu was as integral a part of Wakka's psyche as blitzball was. Of course, there had been Tidus as well, Auron reflected.
As the lightening struck yet again, he lifted himself from the bed. His one good eye looked around the room for a second, and took in the scene. A single candle illuminated the small room. His sunglasses rested on the small writing table against the wall. His coat was thrown over a random chair. His sword, ever-present, leaned up against the headboard of the bed. Auron ran a hand through his hair, and brushed it over his face. The black sleeveless shirt he wore seemed all at once stifling, and he took it off. With a sigh, he crossed to the window, and opened it. As he gazed out, and felt the wind blow in, Auron thought.
Tidus had seemed the most changed for about an hour. But then, the youth was most of the time clueless, and as soon as something else caught his attention, like the false hope that Yuna would not choose to marry Maester Seymour, he was fine once more.
Auron stood at the window, and remembered.
Rikku had lingered outside of the Farplane as well. Being Al Bhed, she, of course, shunned the pyreflies, and the supposed souls of the dead that would confront her there.
'I keep my memories inside.' She'd told Tidus.
And Auron could not fault her for it. He suspected it had less to do with her Al Bhed heritage, and more to do with personal decision.
'Whadda ya suppose it's like in there?' She'd asked Auron as they waited for the others.
'I cannot say.' He replied. 'Why not ask Yuna when she returns?'
'Yunie's got too much on her mind.'
'Then ask Lulu.'
Auron's tone had made it clear to the young Al Bhed that he did not wish to talk, and the pair had sat in silence until everyone else had returned.
Then ask Lulu.
"Ask Lulu." Auron murmured to himself.
His hand reached out, and he found his jug of sake easily. As he pondered, he sipped.
"Ask Lulu." He murmured, once more.
Most of the group had seemed appropriately somber on returning from the Farplane, all things considered. But the face of the black mage had troubled him. Lulu was dark. She was solemn. She was frequently quiet and despondant. It all lent to that air of melancholy beauty that she had around her, and it was understandable. The death of a lover could do that to a person.
But something had changed on the Farplane for Lulu. Something small, but very significant. Lulu's depression seemed to have deepened a bit, and Auron was worried about her.
Who seemed to be the backbone of the group? Lulu, who was so knowledgeable, who had reluctantly taken Tidus under her wing to educate in the ways of Spira. Lulu, who was the only other one in the group, besides Auron himself, who'd been on a pilgrimage before. Lulu, who was the only other one in the group willing to deal out the harsh truths and brutal honesties that needed dealing out.
Another sip of sake, and Auron found himself absorbed.
She was far too delicate to excelt at the stance of a warrior, and yet made up for that shortcoming admirably. Her magic was rivaled only by the grand maesters of Yevon, by the high summoners. Only a trifle more experience, and the right kind of accoutrements, and Auron reckoned she'd be able to best even them.
And yet, he knew that she would never do such a thing. Under all that power, Lulu was still loyal. She was gentle, and noble.
Another flash of lightening, and Auron turned from the open window. His footfalls were muffled by the roll of thunder, and he found his shirt where he'd left it. The air had cooled his bare skin, and he yanked the shirt over his head once more.
Yes, Lulu's face came again and again to Auron's mind, and no matter how he stalked his room, and how much sake he drank, he could not be free of her. Only one thing to do, as far as he could see.
Auron slipped his sunglasses onto his face. He'd never gotten used to the great scar which ran down his face. He did not think about it; it did not weigh on his mind so much. But when he came around people, he liked to hide as much of it as possible. Beneath the black lens, it was quite gruesome.
He knew she'd be awake in her room now. She always was. She never slept. Around the campfire, she'd lain in her bedroll, studying her magic by the light of the fire. Often, Auron would be woken by Kimahri for the second watch, and he'd see her, still flipping pages. Sometimes, but not often, she would be passed out from exhaustion, her spellbook laying where it had fallen on her chest, arms splayed where they'd finally came to rest. It was her own way of dealing with her dreams of Chappu, Auron suspected.
His hand slipped around the neck of his sake jug, and silently, he cracked open the door to his room. No one stirred in the hallway. Just as well. Auron did not particularly feel like explaining himself to anyone. Not that he would anyway.
His naked feet made soft slapping noises on the cold stone as he stole down the hallway to where Lulu's room was. Just to the left of Yuna's room, and with Wakka's room straight across, he found her door. Auron smiled to himself. Lulu placed herself where she could guard Yuna. She'd do well; she thought ahead. Wakka placed himself where he could guard both women. He'd do well because he followed his love for Lulu.
From Wakka's room, Auron heard Tidus's incessant chatter, and Wakka's replies. The two were loud enough that he could hear they were discussing old blitz matches. The noise they made drowned out the sound Auron's knuckles made as he knocked on Lulu's door. The was silence a moment, from within Lulu's room, and then the sound of a chair scraping on the floor as it's occupant pushed it out from beneath a table, or desk.
From across the hall, the enthusiastic conversation had tuned down just a notch. Auron looked to the door, expecting it to open. He knew Wakka had heard the knock. Wakka's vigilence could not be faulted. His only failing was that he did not guard Yuna as well as he guarded Lulu.
The gilded doorhandle to Lulu's room turned, and Auron's head whipped back around. Pale light slid out the doorway, and there Lulu peeked out at him through the opening.
Auron knew he remained outwardly inscrutable, yet inwardly, he was astonished.
It was true, after all, what his father had said about a woman's beauty shining through at the most simple of moments.
Tonight, she'd taken down the endless rows of braids, and brushed the raven hair until it shone. It flowed over her shoulders all the way to her knees. The usual black dress was discarded for a simple gray robe, neckline rich with heavy embroidery. Auron could see that she wore little under it.
Wakka and Chappu. Impeccable taste in women, he thought.
"Sir Auron? May I help you?" Her voice came. Claret eyes regarded him with surprise. An eyebrow arched up in curiousity.
"I cannot sleep. I find the need for intelligent conversation." Auron knew his tone sounded gruff. He was mildly glad that he was known for little else.
From across the hall, the noise had ceased. He knew that their voices had been heard.
"Of course." Lulu replied.
Her eyes went behind him, across the hall, to Wakka's door.
Most likely, she did not even realize she'd done it, but Auron could not but liken that glance to the way a little girl would look to see if her father was watching her steal cookies.
"Come in, and sit." She offered.
She backed away, and allowed him to enter. Auron stepped into her room, the sake jug still in his hand.
As he turned around, he heard the click of a door latch, and he had just enough time to see Wakka's surprised face, staring at Lulu's back, just as she shut the door.
***
Lulu herself had not seen the expresson on Wakka's face as he'd caught the sight of Auron going into her room. Her back had been to the door as she'd shut it. She was surprised that Sir Auron had sought out her company.
It was true that insomnia ran rampant in the Thunder Plains, but the man had never directly interacted with her before. It made her nervous, and she had an inkling that perhaps it had something to do with Wakka.
Now standing bathed in the wan light of her own candlabra, Lulu felt a familar stirring in her blood. She felt vulnerable in her robe, and discreetly, she tightened the ties on her garment. As for that small spark of attraction, she killed it as soon as she recognized it.
What would Chappu think?
"You cannot sleep? That's normal enough here." She spoke, when he did not.
"Neither could you." Auron's eyes went to her spellbook, which lay open on her desk. She smiled, faintly.
"Couldn't isn't really the right wood. More like, I don't want to." She explained, as she moved to close the book.
"You jeopardize us all, fighting with deadened reflexes." Auron said.
A cup sat on Lulu's bedside table, and he moved to retrieve it. He poured a measure of the sake into it, and handed the cup to her.
"You need to sleep."
"I sleep enough. You know I would never jeopardize Yuna."
Auron turned away, and went to stand at the window. The sake jug went to his lips. Lulu stood where she was, at the table, with glass of sake in hand. She felt very confused.
Was this an interrogation? Had she done something wrong?
"Do you have nightmares, Lulu?"
"What would I have nightmares about?"
"Do I really need to answer that question?" Auron glanced over his shoulder at her.
Lulu's face darkened. Of course, he meant Chappu.
"How do you know about my nightmares? They're nothing. I endure them."
She frowned once more. She sounded guilty, as if she were defending herself from something, the way her words tumbled out.
"Wakka told me." Auron turned from the window. He gestured to the sake. "Drink that. It will put you to sleep. He told me. He worries about you. Do you know that he's in love with you?"
Obliging, Lulu drank some of the sake, but then set the cup down. She folded her arms, and looked away from Auron's face, which seemed to be able to see right through her.
"He's never said anything. He's never done anything. What would I do if it was brought up? Chappu hasn't been dead that long."
Ruby eyes looked once more at Auron. They seemed to glitter with a dangerous anger.
"It will never happen anyway. Nothing has changed since Chappu was here."
"Nothing has changed?" Auron sat the jug of sake on the table. "He coveted you right in front of his brother's face?"
"Wakka doesn't covet me." She shook her head.
"The blessing of being outside of a situation, is being able to see it with eyes unclouded."
Auron's hand came up to brush a tendril of hair from Lulu's face.
"He places his rooms near yours in the inn's. He comes to you to be told what to do. It is as if you are the summoner on this pilgrimage, and not Yuna, for the way he guards you. Tell me he doesn't love you."
Lulu cast her eyes downward. What Auron said made sense. She could not deny the things he pointed out. She could have ignored Wakka's behaviours forever, but not when it was pointed out to her. Auron's hand came to her face once more. He slid a finger under her chin, and tilted her face upwards towards his.
"Don't look down as if you've done something wrong."
Auron's voice was still gruff, but it was gentle. Lulu's eyes went to him in surprise. Auron was not a man of wasteful actions.
"You were very pale today, after the Farplane." Auron said.
"I want the simpler times." Lulu murmured. "I want Chappu back. But it will never be. I'm alive. He is dead."
Abruptly, Auron backed away, and retreated once more to the window. There was silence in the room for a moment.
"Drink that sake." He ordered.
"It's all gone." Lulu replied. "Why did you come here?"
Once more, it struck her as odd that Auron had shown up at her door. She moved to stand beside him at the window.
"I could not sleep."
"And yet you come to me. Why?"
A flash of lightening illuminated the room. It cast light on Sir Auron's face as he looked over at her.
"Why, Sir Auron?"
There was a sigh from him, when it was dark once more.
"We are alike, you and I." He said, softly. "Hardened by sadness. Willing to die for an end to the sorrow."
"It will end."
"And you know it will end with Yuna's life."
"I was not the one to make that choice. It was hers all along." Lulu said.
Auron turned to look at her once more. Almost as if he could not control it, again, his hand went to her face. He cupped her chin between his thumb and index finger.
'She's so little.' He thought to himself. 'Why did I never notice how little she was before?'
Lulu was once more surprised by his caress. The moment was tender. They both stood watching each other, listening to the thunder, the never-ending storm. Auron touching Lulu, and her meekly accepting his carres without a hint of expression.
"You should sleep." He whispered. "We need you at full-strength. Always."
"As well as you." Lulu's voice came out in a husky whisper as well.
For a second, her own hand came up,and rested on his wrist. She was swept away in the moment. For a time, she could not deny the sudden unbearable attraction to this man. For a time, she could not quash it.
When the gesture was broken, Auron was the one to do it.
His hand dropped, and he turned from her. Without another word, he left her room. Lulu was left in bemused, and baffled silence.
For a moment, she thought about Wakka across the hall, and then stared off into space where Auron had been standing a moment before.
And then she closed the door behind her. Alone again, she moved in a sort of daze to the candlestick, and blowing them out, threw the room into darkness.
His sleep had been light, troubled. For obvious reasons, he had not crossed into the Farplane with the rest of the group at Guadosalam. But it never failed to escape him how much people seemed changed when they returned. It was perfectly understandable, of course. Seeing the dead. See someone who seems so very alive and just outside your reach. Knowing that if you were seeing them, then they were dead.
Auron had seen it in Yuna's face. Sorrow mixed with a kind of quiet strength. Seen it in Wakka's face, as he talked with his dead brother. Auron severely doubted that if the trip to Guadosalam had not been made at this particular point in time, Wakka would have made the journey on his own. Chappu was as integral a part of Wakka's psyche as blitzball was. Of course, there had been Tidus as well, Auron reflected.
As the lightening struck yet again, he lifted himself from the bed. His one good eye looked around the room for a second, and took in the scene. A single candle illuminated the small room. His sunglasses rested on the small writing table against the wall. His coat was thrown over a random chair. His sword, ever-present, leaned up against the headboard of the bed. Auron ran a hand through his hair, and brushed it over his face. The black sleeveless shirt he wore seemed all at once stifling, and he took it off. With a sigh, he crossed to the window, and opened it. As he gazed out, and felt the wind blow in, Auron thought.
Tidus had seemed the most changed for about an hour. But then, the youth was most of the time clueless, and as soon as something else caught his attention, like the false hope that Yuna would not choose to marry Maester Seymour, he was fine once more.
Auron stood at the window, and remembered.
Rikku had lingered outside of the Farplane as well. Being Al Bhed, she, of course, shunned the pyreflies, and the supposed souls of the dead that would confront her there.
'I keep my memories inside.' She'd told Tidus.
And Auron could not fault her for it. He suspected it had less to do with her Al Bhed heritage, and more to do with personal decision.
'Whadda ya suppose it's like in there?' She'd asked Auron as they waited for the others.
'I cannot say.' He replied. 'Why not ask Yuna when she returns?'
'Yunie's got too much on her mind.'
'Then ask Lulu.'
Auron's tone had made it clear to the young Al Bhed that he did not wish to talk, and the pair had sat in silence until everyone else had returned.
Then ask Lulu.
"Ask Lulu." Auron murmured to himself.
His hand reached out, and he found his jug of sake easily. As he pondered, he sipped.
"Ask Lulu." He murmured, once more.
Most of the group had seemed appropriately somber on returning from the Farplane, all things considered. But the face of the black mage had troubled him. Lulu was dark. She was solemn. She was frequently quiet and despondant. It all lent to that air of melancholy beauty that she had around her, and it was understandable. The death of a lover could do that to a person.
But something had changed on the Farplane for Lulu. Something small, but very significant. Lulu's depression seemed to have deepened a bit, and Auron was worried about her.
Who seemed to be the backbone of the group? Lulu, who was so knowledgeable, who had reluctantly taken Tidus under her wing to educate in the ways of Spira. Lulu, who was the only other one in the group, besides Auron himself, who'd been on a pilgrimage before. Lulu, who was the only other one in the group willing to deal out the harsh truths and brutal honesties that needed dealing out.
Another sip of sake, and Auron found himself absorbed.
She was far too delicate to excelt at the stance of a warrior, and yet made up for that shortcoming admirably. Her magic was rivaled only by the grand maesters of Yevon, by the high summoners. Only a trifle more experience, and the right kind of accoutrements, and Auron reckoned she'd be able to best even them.
And yet, he knew that she would never do such a thing. Under all that power, Lulu was still loyal. She was gentle, and noble.
Another flash of lightening, and Auron turned from the open window. His footfalls were muffled by the roll of thunder, and he found his shirt where he'd left it. The air had cooled his bare skin, and he yanked the shirt over his head once more.
Yes, Lulu's face came again and again to Auron's mind, and no matter how he stalked his room, and how much sake he drank, he could not be free of her. Only one thing to do, as far as he could see.
Auron slipped his sunglasses onto his face. He'd never gotten used to the great scar which ran down his face. He did not think about it; it did not weigh on his mind so much. But when he came around people, he liked to hide as much of it as possible. Beneath the black lens, it was quite gruesome.
He knew she'd be awake in her room now. She always was. She never slept. Around the campfire, she'd lain in her bedroll, studying her magic by the light of the fire. Often, Auron would be woken by Kimahri for the second watch, and he'd see her, still flipping pages. Sometimes, but not often, she would be passed out from exhaustion, her spellbook laying where it had fallen on her chest, arms splayed where they'd finally came to rest. It was her own way of dealing with her dreams of Chappu, Auron suspected.
His hand slipped around the neck of his sake jug, and silently, he cracked open the door to his room. No one stirred in the hallway. Just as well. Auron did not particularly feel like explaining himself to anyone. Not that he would anyway.
His naked feet made soft slapping noises on the cold stone as he stole down the hallway to where Lulu's room was. Just to the left of Yuna's room, and with Wakka's room straight across, he found her door. Auron smiled to himself. Lulu placed herself where she could guard Yuna. She'd do well; she thought ahead. Wakka placed himself where he could guard both women. He'd do well because he followed his love for Lulu.
From Wakka's room, Auron heard Tidus's incessant chatter, and Wakka's replies. The two were loud enough that he could hear they were discussing old blitz matches. The noise they made drowned out the sound Auron's knuckles made as he knocked on Lulu's door. The was silence a moment, from within Lulu's room, and then the sound of a chair scraping on the floor as it's occupant pushed it out from beneath a table, or desk.
From across the hall, the enthusiastic conversation had tuned down just a notch. Auron looked to the door, expecting it to open. He knew Wakka had heard the knock. Wakka's vigilence could not be faulted. His only failing was that he did not guard Yuna as well as he guarded Lulu.
The gilded doorhandle to Lulu's room turned, and Auron's head whipped back around. Pale light slid out the doorway, and there Lulu peeked out at him through the opening.
Auron knew he remained outwardly inscrutable, yet inwardly, he was astonished.
It was true, after all, what his father had said about a woman's beauty shining through at the most simple of moments.
Tonight, she'd taken down the endless rows of braids, and brushed the raven hair until it shone. It flowed over her shoulders all the way to her knees. The usual black dress was discarded for a simple gray robe, neckline rich with heavy embroidery. Auron could see that she wore little under it.
Wakka and Chappu. Impeccable taste in women, he thought.
"Sir Auron? May I help you?" Her voice came. Claret eyes regarded him with surprise. An eyebrow arched up in curiousity.
"I cannot sleep. I find the need for intelligent conversation." Auron knew his tone sounded gruff. He was mildly glad that he was known for little else.
From across the hall, the noise had ceased. He knew that their voices had been heard.
"Of course." Lulu replied.
Her eyes went behind him, across the hall, to Wakka's door.
Most likely, she did not even realize she'd done it, but Auron could not but liken that glance to the way a little girl would look to see if her father was watching her steal cookies.
"Come in, and sit." She offered.
She backed away, and allowed him to enter. Auron stepped into her room, the sake jug still in his hand.
As he turned around, he heard the click of a door latch, and he had just enough time to see Wakka's surprised face, staring at Lulu's back, just as she shut the door.
***
Lulu herself had not seen the expresson on Wakka's face as he'd caught the sight of Auron going into her room. Her back had been to the door as she'd shut it. She was surprised that Sir Auron had sought out her company.
It was true that insomnia ran rampant in the Thunder Plains, but the man had never directly interacted with her before. It made her nervous, and she had an inkling that perhaps it had something to do with Wakka.
Now standing bathed in the wan light of her own candlabra, Lulu felt a familar stirring in her blood. She felt vulnerable in her robe, and discreetly, she tightened the ties on her garment. As for that small spark of attraction, she killed it as soon as she recognized it.
What would Chappu think?
"You cannot sleep? That's normal enough here." She spoke, when he did not.
"Neither could you." Auron's eyes went to her spellbook, which lay open on her desk. She smiled, faintly.
"Couldn't isn't really the right wood. More like, I don't want to." She explained, as she moved to close the book.
"You jeopardize us all, fighting with deadened reflexes." Auron said.
A cup sat on Lulu's bedside table, and he moved to retrieve it. He poured a measure of the sake into it, and handed the cup to her.
"You need to sleep."
"I sleep enough. You know I would never jeopardize Yuna."
Auron turned away, and went to stand at the window. The sake jug went to his lips. Lulu stood where she was, at the table, with glass of sake in hand. She felt very confused.
Was this an interrogation? Had she done something wrong?
"Do you have nightmares, Lulu?"
"What would I have nightmares about?"
"Do I really need to answer that question?" Auron glanced over his shoulder at her.
Lulu's face darkened. Of course, he meant Chappu.
"How do you know about my nightmares? They're nothing. I endure them."
She frowned once more. She sounded guilty, as if she were defending herself from something, the way her words tumbled out.
"Wakka told me." Auron turned from the window. He gestured to the sake. "Drink that. It will put you to sleep. He told me. He worries about you. Do you know that he's in love with you?"
Obliging, Lulu drank some of the sake, but then set the cup down. She folded her arms, and looked away from Auron's face, which seemed to be able to see right through her.
"He's never said anything. He's never done anything. What would I do if it was brought up? Chappu hasn't been dead that long."
Ruby eyes looked once more at Auron. They seemed to glitter with a dangerous anger.
"It will never happen anyway. Nothing has changed since Chappu was here."
"Nothing has changed?" Auron sat the jug of sake on the table. "He coveted you right in front of his brother's face?"
"Wakka doesn't covet me." She shook her head.
"The blessing of being outside of a situation, is being able to see it with eyes unclouded."
Auron's hand came up to brush a tendril of hair from Lulu's face.
"He places his rooms near yours in the inn's. He comes to you to be told what to do. It is as if you are the summoner on this pilgrimage, and not Yuna, for the way he guards you. Tell me he doesn't love you."
Lulu cast her eyes downward. What Auron said made sense. She could not deny the things he pointed out. She could have ignored Wakka's behaviours forever, but not when it was pointed out to her. Auron's hand came to her face once more. He slid a finger under her chin, and tilted her face upwards towards his.
"Don't look down as if you've done something wrong."
Auron's voice was still gruff, but it was gentle. Lulu's eyes went to him in surprise. Auron was not a man of wasteful actions.
"You were very pale today, after the Farplane." Auron said.
"I want the simpler times." Lulu murmured. "I want Chappu back. But it will never be. I'm alive. He is dead."
Abruptly, Auron backed away, and retreated once more to the window. There was silence in the room for a moment.
"Drink that sake." He ordered.
"It's all gone." Lulu replied. "Why did you come here?"
Once more, it struck her as odd that Auron had shown up at her door. She moved to stand beside him at the window.
"I could not sleep."
"And yet you come to me. Why?"
A flash of lightening illuminated the room. It cast light on Sir Auron's face as he looked over at her.
"Why, Sir Auron?"
There was a sigh from him, when it was dark once more.
"We are alike, you and I." He said, softly. "Hardened by sadness. Willing to die for an end to the sorrow."
"It will end."
"And you know it will end with Yuna's life."
"I was not the one to make that choice. It was hers all along." Lulu said.
Auron turned to look at her once more. Almost as if he could not control it, again, his hand went to her face. He cupped her chin between his thumb and index finger.
'She's so little.' He thought to himself. 'Why did I never notice how little she was before?'
Lulu was once more surprised by his caress. The moment was tender. They both stood watching each other, listening to the thunder, the never-ending storm. Auron touching Lulu, and her meekly accepting his carres without a hint of expression.
"You should sleep." He whispered. "We need you at full-strength. Always."
"As well as you." Lulu's voice came out in a husky whisper as well.
For a second, her own hand came up,and rested on his wrist. She was swept away in the moment. For a time, she could not deny the sudden unbearable attraction to this man. For a time, she could not quash it.
When the gesture was broken, Auron was the one to do it.
His hand dropped, and he turned from her. Without another word, he left her room. Lulu was left in bemused, and baffled silence.
For a moment, she thought about Wakka across the hall, and then stared off into space where Auron had been standing a moment before.
And then she closed the door behind her. Alone again, she moved in a sort of daze to the candlestick, and blowing them out, threw the room into darkness.