A/N: I know, I KNOW! I said no more new multi-chaps, much less in this month when I'm trying to focus all my efforts on Flashpoint. *sigh* But, I'm going to treat this story as I would any other inspiring ideas this month. At least until December, it'll only be updated when I'm inspired. That may happen more often than you might think, given this idea was based off a spoiler and reviews are likely from the other places I'm posting this. Enjoy!

*Many thanks to sendtherain for beta'ing this for me. You're one in a million. Always.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

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Chapter 1 -

"Is this really happening right now?" Her fingers clutched the fabric of the couch tightly.

Barry wasn't sitting beside her, wasn't standing near her, was on the other side of the room, his eyes dry and starting to burn. It was only a matter of time before the tears emerged. He couldn't make himself answer her, but he knew it was inevitable. This conversation had to be had, and as much as it broke his heart, he knew it wouldn't end well.

"I-"

"Barry," she spat, same time as he stuttered. She hadn't heard him. They heard so little of what either of them said lately. It was all a haze amidst the frustration.

Iris stared at the floor, unable to make herself look at him. The nails on her other hand dug into the skin on the palm of her hand.

"You can't let me-"

"I can't stop worrying about you, Iris," he finally said, exasperated. He ran a hand over his face and let his emotions spill over. "I'm the guy that is supposed to be running around saving people. What, am I supposed to make an exception with you just because you like the thrill of danger?"

She stood to her feet immediately, anger blazing out of her eyes as she finally pinned a glare on him.

"It is not the thrill of danger that drives me to chase after these stories." She scoffed. "I can't believe you would-" She shook her head. "You're supposed to understand, Barry. You – of all people-"

"I do, Iris, I do-"

"You don't!" she cried out.

He hated how her voice hitched. Iris could hold back tears when she was angry. The fact that they were threatening to fall meant he had really screwed up. He couldn't help how he felt, though. He couldn't just agree with her and let her be because it was what she wanted.

"This is my job."

"To get yourself killed?" He took a step towards her, more menacing than she'd ever seen him. "I won't let that happen," he said firmly. "Even if I have to speed you away every fucking time you decide to test whether or not you're faster than a bullet."

Iris's eyes widened. Barry never swore. Ever. He always found another way to say things, or he was in control enough to walk out and come back later when he'd calmed down a little. She was pushing him to his breaking point. Fair enough, because he'd pushed her to hers long ago.

"I can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't accept me as I am, who doesn't let me be who I need to be, who doesn't embrace my passion to help people and let me do everything in my power to put the bad guys away."

His sharp, quiet gasp was not lost on her, but these words needed to be said. He had to choose.

"I didn't think that was going to be a problem for you." She swallowed. "For us."

He wanted to console her. He wanted to apologize and tell her he'd change, that he wouldn't deter her from doing what she needed to do, and would only come to her rescue if there was absolutely no way to escape.

But what if one time he didn't find out she needed that rescue until it was too late? What if he was busy saving somebody else or stopping some other metahuman, and the next thing he knew Iris was in the hospital, or worse – dead, gone from his life forever? He wouldn't be able to bear it. He would lose all purpose. He would let the world go up in flames. He would fall into such a dark place that he'd never be able to climb out of it. He'd be afraid to time travel, because he was convinced now that made everything worse. But what could be worse than losing the woman he loved more than anything else before they had even made that 2024 newspaper a reality, before they could become husband and wife?

He couldn't cave. He couldn't. If she hated him forever, if she cut off all ties, it would break him. But if she was just gone from existence, if he could never even see her again, even at a distance… He would never recover.

"Barry?"

Her voice was not angry or demanding now. It was broken. It was vulnerable. It despaired. She knew the moment was upon them as much as he did and she didn't want to say the words. She didn't want what was going to happen to unfold itself right there in that moment. Because he was her everything, and even though she'd been careful, she'd come to really believe this would work itself out.

"This is really happening," he said, his voice shallow and shaky. He couldn't believe he hadn't cried a single tear yet. It would probably happen later, he guessed, when she was gone and he was alone.

She felt the moisture on her cheeks before she realized they were tears, until it dawned on her that her heart had cracked and nothing was being said or done to fix it.

She stood to her feet and stared at him until he looked her in the eye.

"You're willing to lose this – to lose all of it. You'd rather keep me locked up with some false sense of free will, make me angry all the time, make me wish you had never become the Flash, watch me move on with someone else…"

She knew those words burned. She saw him flinch, even if he didn't look away from her.

"I just want you to be happy-"

"Bullshit."

He shut his eyes and looked away, his heart aching for her, for him, for them, for all of this.

"I'm not happy now, and you're the reason why."

Silence hung in the air, twisting in the sharp tension between them.

"I guess this was a mistake then," he forced himself to say. He didn't let himself look at her, wouldn't let himself see the anguish on her face. It would only magnify his pain and he wouldn't be able to stand it.

"We're not meant to be, Iris." He looked at her, so she would be convinced. He tried to look past the tears that were flowing freely down her face. He tried to shut off his emotions so he could just finish this. "I'm just the guy that loves you, but I can't love you the way you want to be loved. If the only way to keep you safe is to end this, then…"

He held his breath, saw she was holding hers too, and desperately wished there was some way out of this other than lying to himself and to her, other than changing who he was or even thinking of changing her. He would never stop worrying about her. She was everything he had ever wanted and more. She was his whole world. He'd never expected them to get to this place, and he could have never foreseen himself being the one to make this life-altering decision, but here it was.

"Then what, Barry?" she whispered.

He closed his eyes and the first of his tears seeped out.

"Then it ends," he said, and opened his eyes. "It's over, Iris."

Her bottom lip trembled, but she wouldn't let herself dissolve any more in front of him. She turned and found her jacket, found her purse, slipped on her shoes and went out the door. She didn't slam it or shut it at all. It hung open and the cool air wafted in.

Barry felt the chill on the other side of the room.

A ping went off on his cell phone and he fished it out of his pocket.

Gift exchange with Iris!

He closed his eyes, pushed past his limit.

Tomorrow was Christmas. There would be no gift exchange now. There might not be one ever again.