Hi everyone! Here again with a new fic, and I have been super excited to get this out. While I do have other fics in the working (like a Ladynoir fic, and a reveal situation where Adrien finds out first), I wanted to start this one first. I went through eight drafts trying to get this right...and eventually just used a majority of the first one.

The support and love my first fanfic, Truthful Scars, was outstanding and it made me so happy, so I'm really looking forward to sharing this all with you. I'm here to give you a new fanfic, though—something different!

What starts as angst will eventually develop into fluff. I hope you like Marichat and friendship to lovers tropes!

Thanks to my friend Mimi for agreeing to be my beta!

I'll be tracking the tags #broken hearts club and #bhc on Tumblr!

You can also follow me on my Tumblr, frostedpuffs, for previews and art.

Messaging - Adrien

4:02 A.M.: i have to tell you something

It had started out as a joke—a silly idea thrown into the air during the late hours of the night when they really should have been sleeping.

Sleepovers were all fun and games, Marinette thought. Hardly any of the little promises she and Alya made when they stayed up past midnight were recalled in the morning, and most of the time she was thankful for that.

But this one stuck—stirred around in her head like a mantra, insistent and particularly annoying.

Marinette and Alya had both been so exhausted, running on their last supply of energy as the clock struck four. It was just a simple sleepover, and Marinette could pretend she'd forgotten her determined pledge once morning rolled around. She could laugh it off, make it seem as if she had merely been joking, but…

But, in all honesty, was the idea really that bad?

Would telling Adrien exactly how she felt really be that awful?

Marinette had long since come to terms with the fact that Adrien would most likely never be privy to her crush. It wasn't that she didn't want him to know—god, did she want to tell him—but somewhere deep inside of her very being, she was certain that it would do more harm than good.

Two years they had known each other and over the span of those two years, she and Adrien had become close friends.

There was no more stuttering, no awkward flailing about or strangled sentences. It had taken so much growth between the two of them for Marinette to simply get over the fact that she was talking to him, let alone the idea that someday, just maybe, he would return her feelings just as strongly as she felt for him.

But that was silly, wasn't it?

She couldn't jeopardize their friendship—one she had come to appreciate just as much as Alya's—by waltzing up to him after class and declaring her love for all the world to know.

Adrien was sweet; a dear friend so oblivious to her crush that it was almost sad how badly she desired to cup his cheeks into her hands and pull him in for a kiss, just to plant the idea into his head that maybe, possibly, her feelings for him weren't as strictly platonic as he'd thought.

Marinette often wondered how soft his lips would feel against her own, or what it would be like to be swept off of her feet and held within his embrace. She wanted to know how his skin would feel beneath her fingertips as she brushed his bangs out of those summer greens; if golden strands would tickle her knuckles, or if his hair would fall right back over his eyes like a curtain once she'd removed her hand from his person. She wanted to know how his smile would taste against her own; how his laugh would feel against her neck as he buried his face within her shoulder, shy from one of the innocent compliments she kept stored within her head just in case he ever felt in need of a pick-me-up.

There were so many things Marinette already knew about Adrien, but there were thousands more little details she so desperately wished to discover.

But in the back of her mind a whisper taunted her, reminded her that she had no need to muse over Adrien's wonderful mysteries. It was a quiet insistence—the voice of reason, she presumed—and it told her, made sure she knew for certain that Adrien held nothing but platonic love for her within his heart.

It was a thought that kept her awake on lonely nights when she wanted nothing more than someone to lie next to her. Often she would think until she felt sick, or until she gave up attempting to sleep and instead toughed through an uncomfortable all-nighter. Some nights she would scream into her pillow with frustration, wondering why on Earth she was brave enough to fight akuma yet found it impossible to tell one of her best friends how she truly felt.

There were even times she would try to forget about her crush entirely… only to have it return in the morning with a vengeance of gentle eyes and a kind, kind soul.

Marinette had thought for certain that she would never be able to confess.

Four A.M. Marinette had other feelings towards the suggestion, however.

Four A.M. Marinette encouraged by her best friend Alya had a completely different mindset entirely.

In her sleep-deprived state she had made a plan, and with a smile all too calm for what she intended to do had initiated phase one of that stupid plan-

-which was to text Adrien… something that was normal at this stage of their friendship. Friends texted each other all the time. Marinette texted Adrien all the time.

She'd been texting him for a little over a year now, having acquired his number once they'd began talking a little more frequently in school (after a time where she'd invited him to her birthday party and he—along with Alya and Nino—had ended up staying the night), and they'd both undoubtedly grown closer because of it.

Which was why Marinette knew for a fact he was awake at four A.M. on a Sunday morning. Adrien was usually up early for a photoshoot or in some cases, had stayed up all night engrossed by a video game or new anime and hadn't realized just how much time had passed.

So she felt nothing but a mixture of nerves and excitement when she decided to shoot him a text.

Messaging - Adrien

4:02 A.M.: i have to tell you something

Her heart pounded, her breath came short and god, her hands trembled as she held her phone within her grasp. She hadn't felt so on edge texting Adrien since they'd first messaged each other forever ago, yet the way her chest tightened and eyes shut with anticipation of his reply brought her back to her fourteen-year-old self, who had practically shot into the air every time he so much as bid her hello.

A minute passed, then two, then three, and Marinette was certain she had caught him on one of those rare nights he had gone to bed at a decent time. She was just about to bury her face within her pillow and give up when her phone vibrated—and a new message from Adrien popped up on the screen.

Her eyes narrowed as Alya let out a faint whoop.

"What does it say?" Alya asked, scooting as close as she possibly could to Marinette without completely lying on top of her. "Did you wake him up?"

With her best friend's cheek pressed against her own, Marinette mumbled, "I hope not."

Adrien

4:06 A.M.: Marinette! Why are you awake at 4 am?

Her heart jumped up to her throat as she hastily typed out a reply.

Messaging - Adrien

4:06A.M.: i could ask you the same thing

Was that rude?

Oh god, had she been rude?

Before he could respond, she panicked, smashing her thumbs against the keypad and rapidly sending the rest of her texts like there was no tomorrow.

Messaging - Adrien

4:06 A.M.: i have to tell you something

4:06 A.M.: in person

4:06 A.M.: on monday

4:06 A.M.: goodnight!

She stared at her phone for a moment, catching her breath and wondering if he was going to respond at all to her awkward hello-goodbye… and let out a yelp as her phone notified her that he had read her messages and began typing. Breathing heavily, she tossed her phone across her bed and burrowed under her covers, curled up into a tight ball as Alya retrieved her discarded cell from the edge of the mattress before it toppled over the edge of the loft.

"I think you just confused him," Alya chuckled, "do you want to know what he said?"

Marinette shook her head from underneath the duvet. "No! Uh, yes? W-wait, no! I don't! Don't tell me!"

"He asked if you're feeling okay," Alya answered anyways, plopping down next to Marinette with a yawn. It wouldn't be long before she drifted off, leaving Marinette awake and regretting ever picking up her phone in the first place, because when Monday rolled around…she would have no choice but to confess.

"No, I'm not," Marinette sighed, pressing her face into her pillow and successfully smothering herself. "I think I'm going to throw up."

Alya laughed beside her, voice raspy from lack of sleep. "We need to go to bed."

But Marinette could only whine, squeezing her arms around the pillow that covered her face. "I can't sleep now, not after that! What am I going to do on Monday, Alya? What if I puke on him o-or faint or get hit by a car? What if"-she sucked in a breath-"what if I die?"

"Okay," Alya said, patting her on the back (or at least where she assumed it was, having difficulty finding her friend underneath the mass of blanket.) She yawned once more, removing her glasses for a moment to rub the sleep away from her eyes. "You're gonna be fine, Mar. Adrien is like, the sweetest guy ever, and I'm sure even if you happen to throw up on him—which I seriously doubt you will—he'll forgive you. Don't worry over it so much. Who knows," she added, rolling onto her side, "maybe he likes you, too."

And so with that thought in mind, Marinette lay awake underneath the protection of her duvet, blinking as darkness swam into her vision. It was incredibly late, and Alya was right—they really did need to get to sleep—but Marinette knew for a fact that rest would be difficult to attain. Her heart raced in her chest and her head spun with the possibilities of Adrien's response to her confession, weighing the pros and cons of finally admitting her crush to the boy who had held her heart for two years and counting.

Beside her she could hear Alya lightly snoring, and no matter how tempting it was to let the sweet embrace of sleep engulf her, Marinette kept her eyes wide open. If she closed them, she would only be forced to submit to her mind's undying insistence that Adrien, as kind as he was, would laugh in her face when she finally worked up the guts to let her affections be known.

She knew it would never happen.

She knew Adrien was too kind to even consider laughing at her.

But her head still taunted her, and a low whine rose in her throat.

She was really, really going to do this.

Thrusting her head out from underneath her covers, Marinette pouted, stomach stirring with anxiety over the arrival of Monday. She truly did feel sick, but the headache that began to seep into her skull begged her to lay still and sleep. Marinette wanted to sleep. She wanted to curl up next to her best friend and rest her eyes, wanted to sleep for hours and hours and even past Monday.

Yet, as she felt her eyelids begin to droop from exhaustion, she couldn't help but allow a twinge of excitement—no matter how small it was—to spark within her chest.

Maybe this won't be so bad, she told herself, snuggling into her pillows and pressing her back against Alya's. Maybe it'll be a good thing. Maybe…maybe Adrien will scoop me up and kiss me.

Her lips curled upwards into a smile, mind thick with sleep.

Maybe…maybe Monday will be amazing.

"Nope," Marinette squeaked, backing away from the classroom door with eyes as wide as the moon. She bumped into Alya, who gave her a gentle push towards their homeroom. Marinette had to repress a screech of protest. "No! No, no! I changed my mind! I'm not doing this, Alya!"

But Alya wasn't having it. "Marinette, you've already avoided Adrien all morning and left him looking like an abandoned puppy at the front of the school when you ran in without him. He's your friend; you can talk to him!"

"I can't!" Marinette cried out, voice cracking. "Don't make me go in there, Alya, I-"

But she'd already been pushed into the classroom.

And-

And oh no, Adrien was right there.

Right there, watching her with wide eyes as Alya, her best friend whom she'd loved and trusted with all of her heart, forced her into the classroom and right in front of her crush himself.

Oh no, no, no, I'm going to trip!

Just as she'd expected, Marinette stumbled, losing her footing the moment her eyes connected with the warmth of green. She squawked, one foot kicking the other and sending her balance to be thrown off, causing her to trip and tumble forwards, most likely towards the floor where she'd receive a concussion and have to go home and cry in defeat-

-but she didn't hit the floor. She didn't fall to the ground, or break her nose.

No—she landed straight into Adrien's arms.

And when his hands wrapped around her waist and held her into place, Marinette knew she never, ever wanted him to let go.

"Woah," Adrien laughed, helping her stand up straight with his hands positioned on her shoulders. Such big hands. "You okay, Mari?"

Her heart skipped a beat at the way her name fell from his lips. She held in a sigh, managing a shaky smile at the nickname only he'd given her. His voice was so soft, and that name—her nickname—sounded so sweet on his tongue. She could only let out a meek "I-I'm fine," before the heat of a blush began to creep its way along her cheeks and she swore she was nothing but a puddle on the floor.

When Adrien returned her smile, he glanced to the person behind her, hands still placed gently upon her shoulders. "What'd Alya push you for? You could have gotten hurt."

Marinette turned her head for a moment to give a mock-glare to her best friend, who at least appeared to be apologetic. Alya mouthed a "sorry" and shrugged her shoulders. "She was just playing around," Marinette said, "I'm okay."

"Oh." Adrien blinked, grinning at Alya with a raised eyebrow. "Alya, be gentle with Marinette. She's smaller than the rest of us."

"Hey!" Placing her hands on her hips, Marinette's smile grew twice its size at her friend's gentle teasing. Of course the tallest out of their friend group would joke about her size; he was almost a foot taller than she was! "I'll have you know, Agreste, that while I may be the smallest, I can most definitely kick all your butts."

Adrien held his hands up in defense, smirking down at her with a look that made Marinette feel as if she should have been patrolling the streets of Paris instead of standing in a classroom. "I don't doubt it. I haven't forgotten about last week."

Nino slid into his seat behind them, a laugh rising from his lips as he chimed in to the conversation. "Marinette straight-up tackled you, dude."

"I know." Adrien crossed his arms over his chest, cocking his head to the side as he looked her up and down. "She's stronger than she looks."

"I had to!" Marinette fought back, cheeks reddening with embarrassment. "Y-you stole my beanie! And then you ran with it!"

"To be fair, it had cat ears on it."

Marinette shook her head, laughter in her voice. "Your love for cats does not justify theft, Adrien."

"Hmm," Adrien hummed, placing his hand on his chin as if he appeared to be deep in thought. "No, I guess it doesn't. I'll ask next time before I try to wear your accessories, Mari."

"Steal them, you mean," she corrected as she slid into her seat next to Alya (who wore a grin all too wide), sticking her tongue out at the blond boy who could only chuckle at her expression before sitting at his own desk. God, if fourteen-year-old Marinette somehow looked into the future saw herself now, joking with Adrien and actually being able to hold a conversation, she would faint from the sheer shock of it!

At the idea, Marinette felt a pleasant heat begin to rise within her chest, warming her far better than her jacket could ever hope to. It filled her from the inside out, made her smile so wide that she had to hide her mouth behind the back of her gloved hand. Just the thought of being friends with Adrien, knowing him well enough to be considered one of his best friends, made her positively giddy even after almost two years of their companionship. Her and Adrien really had grown closer. Closer than she had ever expected them to be.

When she'd invited him to her fifteenth birthday party, Marinette had expected him to decline or at best stay only for an hour or two, but…

But Adrien had stayed for hours, remaining even after the majority of the guests had gone home. He'd been so happy, so full of energy and excited to simply be with friends that he did not want to leave. He was content to sit on her couch and lose at video games, even when her parents had gone to bed and the four of them—Marinette, Adrien, Nino and Alya—noticed that it had grown incredibly late.

It'd become somewhat of a sleepover, and after an unhealthy amount of snacks and games, they'd all fallen asleep in a heap on Marinette's bedroom floor. It was around three that Adrien had awoken with an urge to satisfy his sweet tooth, so he and Marinette had gone downstairs to the kitchen and eaten cupcakes in the dark.

The evidence had been on Adrien's face the following morning when they'd both been awoken after falling asleep together on the couch.

Although it was only a little over a year ago, a wonderful friendship between them had blossomed, and gradually Marinette's stutters had disappeared.

(For the most part, anyways.)

After that night, it hadn't take long for Marinette to realize that Adrien Agreste was much less of an intimidating heartthrob of a model and more of a dorky kid who really loves sweets and video games. He was still pretty dang cute, though.

Now they talked with ease, texted often, even playfully teased each other at times. It was a wonder to Marinette why she let herself be nervous around him for so long. She regretted not inviting him over for a sleepover sooner. Who would've known that the guy she'd hardly been able to form a coherent sentence around would turn out to be the same boy that cried last week when being shown videos of kittens because they were just too cute? Or that he had an affinity for puns and cheesy romance movies, and couldn't sleep in a room that was completely dark?

Marinette smiled, scribbling little hearts onto her sheet of paper. Learning those details about Adrien only had her falling about a thousand times harder.

She glanced up at him for a moment, watching as he jotted down notes from a lecture their teacher was giving. Marinette knew she really should have been paying attention, but…how could she, with the thought that sometime that day, she was going to confess her feelings to the very boy in front of her?

(The very, very cute boy who also happened to be one of her closest friends.)

While she seldom stuttered around her crush, Marinette still struggled every now and then with forming the right words or spitting out exactly what she wanted to say. Asking Adrien for a pencil or getting help with homework didn't phase her, but trying to tell him that she thought he looked cute on a particular day, or that she loved his outfit?

She couldn't. Her tongue would flop and her feet would shuffle, or her eyes wouldn't meet his as her cheeks flushed a rosy shade of pink.

Maybe telling him how she felt wasn't as easy as she had psyched it up to be…

No! Her subconscious fought back, don't worry over it too much. Maybe Adrien feels the same and is too shy to tell you! Maybe he's waiting on you to say something!

Marinette rolled her eyes. I doubt it.

Still, the idea of Adrien liking her lingered within her mind, poked at her in a way that begged her to acknowledge the possibility.

What if…

What if Adrien was waiting on her to say something first? What if—for some stupid, crazy reason—Adrien had been crushing on her this whole time and hadn't even bothered to mention it?

Could he be just as nervous about his feelings as she was?

No—that wasn't possible.

Was it?

"Marinette, could you repeat what I just said?"

Jolting slightly in her seat, Marinette snapped her gaze up to her teacher, who stood with his hands on his hips and seemed not at all pleased with her spacing out. Right—this particular teacher didn't take kindly to those who slacked off.

Instructors in lycée weren't as nearly forgiving as they had been in collége.

"Um," she squeaked out, "uh…"

Nope, sorry teach. I've got nothing.

As her teacher simply shook his head and went back to writing information on the board, Marinette sighed.

It was going to be a long, long day.

Classes dragged on. Marinette took notes when she could and tried her hardest to pay attention, she really did, but the unrelenting anxiety that tugged at the pit of her stomach made it difficult for her to do much of anything other than worry.

The day was drawing to a close, her final class having only ten minutes left before it was over. Which normally wouldn't pose as much of a problem, but today was different—today she'd vowed to confess to Adrien. She had beaten it into her own head that she was going to do it, that she wouldn't give up, that she wouldn't be too scared, but-

But the day was almost over, and she still hadn't said more to him than their conversation that morning.

It wasn't like she hadn't tried, of course. Just earlier on their lunch break, she'd approached him (after some encouragement from Alya) with the intent on asking him to talk and telling him right then. She had planned it from from every class, from the second they were let out to lunch and for nearly the entirety of the break—and even from the final moment before, she had been certain she was going to tell him them.

But her hands had grown sweaty, and her legs had trembled and her voice had caught in her throat and oh, it had been too much.

She'd simply regarded him with an awkward hello and went on her way.

It was embarrassing, to say to least: walking up to Adrien, calling his name, and then panicking before squeaking out a hello and running away like a mouse afraid of a cat was certainly a reaction she hadn't had around him since she was fourteen.

And here she was thinking had thought she'd gotten past that stage...

Weren't her and Adrien better friends, now? She didn't need to feel scared around him!

But she had. And she had chickened out and fled, completely forgoing her plans that she'd been psyching herself up all day for.

And she had failed.

She'd failed.

But it wasn't too late! She could still do this!

As the red hand of the clock ticked down second to second, Marinette's heart was racing, her breath coming in short, silent gasps. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and snuck a glance at the messages that appeared in her inbox.

Alya

4:27 P.M.: u can do it girl!

4:27 P.M.: I BELIEVE IN U MAR

4:27 P.M.: 😘😘😘

Marinette snorted, managing a smile at her friend's words. At least they filled her with a last spark of confidence.

As the final bell for the day rang, Marinette shoved her supplies into her schoolbag and heaved it over her shoulder, walking—or, stalking, rather—out of the classroom with the intent on finding the boy who'd stolen her heart.

She could do this.

She wouldn't shy away this time.

If she could protect Paris from villains on a weekly basis, then telling Adrien, her friend, her very, very close friend, that she had a crush on him should be no problem.

Marinette had made up her mind, searching desperately around the courtyard with eyes like a hawk. The slightest movement caught her attention, any step forward like prey to her vision.

And then she saw him, that familiar dazzling smile across his gorgeous face as he gave Nino a wave and made his way out to the front of the school. His driver had probably already arrived to pick him up, but- no!

He couldn't leave! She wanted to talk to him, needed to!

Shooting a quick text to Alya that informed her not to wait up, Marinette paused against a brick pillar of the school, taking a deep, deep breath and blowing it out slowly.

This was it.

In just a few minutes, she'd confess to Adrien and know exactly how he felt about her.

No turning back now.

"You can do it, Marinette," Tikki's tiny voice squeaked, her head peeking out from the pink flaps of her purse. "You're Ladybug, remember? You've got this."

Marinette smiled gratefully down at her kwami, giving her tiny head a scratch. "Thanks, Tikki. You're the best."

Tikki winked at her Chosen before retreating back inside her hiding spot, tucked away where prying eyes couldn't see.

Tikki was right. She was Ladybug. She could do this.

If she could leap across buildings with nothing other than a yo-yo and take down akuma that sometimes grew over ten feet tall, then telling her crush that she liked him shouldn't be more than a simple task. Sure, Adrien was handsome, kind, sweet, smart, talented… And such a gentleman…but...

But…

...She'd had a point to that track of thought.

No matter. She could still confess, even if Adrien was one of the most amazing guys she'd ever met.

Letting out a final breath, Marinette adjusted her purse around her shoulder and walked off, following the sight of sunny blond hair and a white coat. She had to catch him, she had to- she- she…

She was scared.

She stopped for only a moment, thinking, calming herself, fallen leaves crunching under her feet as they moved again, because no- she wouldn't let fear hold her back—wouldn't let the dark shadow of the possibility of rejection hang over her head.

No rain clouds today, Marinette. Only sunshine.

And that sunshine just happened to be Adrien.

"Marinette?"

Marinette paused just before she collided into Adrien for the second time that day. Looking up, she froze in her spot, eyes wide in surprise. Had she really been so lost in thought that she hadn't even realized that she was mere inches from receiving a face-full of Adrien's chest?

Adrien chuckled, smiling down at her like a beacon of warmth. "You alright?"

Marinette swallowed. No, I'm not alright. I'm standing here wanting to just grab you and kiss you and tell you that I love you but I feel like I'm going to faint.

"...Yeah," she replied after a moment, not quite satisfied with her answer. "I think so. I just…have a lot on my mind."

"Like what?"

Silly Adrien, if only it was that easy. She couldn't just straight up tell him right then and there, right?

...Right?

Marinette shook her head in an attempt to clear her senses. Adrien smelled too nice and looked too cute for her to think properly at the moment. Instead of giving him an answer, she decided to change the subject. "Heading home?"

"Oh." Adrien glanced to the street, watching for a moment as a river of brown leaves rolled across the pavement. "Yeah. I was going to walk today, actually. It's cool out."

Well, that was certainly true. The end of October brought chills and dead leaves of all shades, and soon enough, if it was one of those rare winter seasons, might even bring snow, as well. Marinette never had liked the cold, and her dislike for it was only justified by her alter-ego. Ladybugs surely didn't care for winter, and Marinette was no exception to that.

"Kind of cold," Marinette replied. She wrapped her arms around herself just as a breeze blew in and chilled her right to the bone. "You like colder weather?"

Adrien offered a shrug in return, beginning to walk down the street and motioning with his head for her to follow. Marinette obliged, smiling all while he did. "I like being able to dress in warm clothes. They're comfortable."

"Like the beanie?" Marinette teased, earning a smirk from her friend in return.

"Yes," he laughed, ruffling her hair (much to her distress.) "Like the beanie."

"Hey!" Marinette shot him a playful frown as she fixed the mess that was her bangs. They walked down the street in silence for a few moments, Marinette fiddling with her fingers as they passed the bakery and began heading in the direction of Adrien's house. He was bound to notice she wasn't heading home just yet—she did have to speak to him, after all—but he had yet to mention it.

Maybe he'd forgotten about her text from early yesterday morning?

Maybe he wouldn't-

"You gonna walk home with me, Mari?"

Fuck.

Her cheeks reddened as she puffed out a breath of frost, giving her friend an innocent smile. "If you don't mind."

Adrien only smiled in return and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his coat. "I don't mind. It's better than walking alone."

Oh, Adrien, Marinette sighed in thought, you don't ever have to be alone.

It was a good thing his hands were in his pockets, or else she might have reached out and grabbed one.

A quiet stretched between them, neither uncomfortable nor awkward as they made a peaceful journey through the streets of Paris. The Agreste mansion wasn't far, and Marinette knew if she wanted to confess to Adrien that day she had to do it soon, lest she face the wrath of Alya later.

(Okay, maybe the wrath of regret instead.)

She had to do this today. She had to, she had to-

"Hey, Marinette?"

She swallowed, lifting her gaze from the leaves beneath her boots to the boy walking next to her. "Hm?"

"You, uh…" Adrien kicked a stray pebble across the sidewalk, green eyes meeting blue. "You said you had something to tell me today?"

"Ahh," Marinette said, nibbling at her bottom lip. So he did remember. "I did, didn't I?"

"Saturday night."

"Technically, Sunday morning."

Adrien rolled his eyes, stepping on a particularly crunchy leaf and grinning at the sound. "Yeah, Sunday morning. You seemed kind of nervous about it." His eyes softened as he met her own, and that familiar kind look Marinette had grown to love so much glowed within his gaze. "Everything alright?"

Marinette could only shrug. Was everything alright?

Yes, she was fine, but…

But would telling Adrien this information—her feelings—change their friendship?

Of course it will, her subconscious screamed at her. You're about to tell Adrien you're in love with him; there's no way it won't!

Her stomach churned uncomfortably in a way that made her feel sick with nerves. She fiddled with her fingers, trying to ignore the anxiety that bubbled within her chest, but it wasn't really working. Marinette was sure if she tried to get the words out, she would either throw up or cry- or maybe both?

A car whizzed past the pair, causing a breeze to tousle their hair and leaves to fly up into the air in a brown, crisp cloud. Marinette shivered, rubbing her gloved hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm herself, but Adrien...

Adrien was laughing, smiling like a child on Christmas day as the leaves scattered around the two of them. They landed in his hair, in her own, and danced in the sky before fluttering like birds to the ground, scattered along the sidewalk and street.

God, she loved that sound.

Adrien's laughter was like music to her ears. That boy needed to smile more, laugh often.

He needed to smile so much more.

Because of his contagious laughter, Marinette giggled in return, kicking up a puff of leaves with her boots. They rose up for a moment before falling onto Adrien's orange converse, and in turn he kicked them back, grinning as the leaves crunched under their shoes and whirled into the air around their legs.

Marinette felt like a kid stirring up leaves with Adrien along the sidewalk, but at the moment, she didn't care; not about the gust of dead leaves that flew around her feet, or the stares the two of them received as they played a childish game of chase down the streets. They laughed and laughed, and Adrien smiled so wide that Marinette couldn't help but feel a burst of love fill her entire body. This was her friend, one of her best friends, and he was so happy, so full of joy and laughter and light that she swore she could chase him forever. She would chase him forever if she could.

She would love him forever, if he allowed it.

Their game came to a stop as they skidded still in front of Adrien's mansion, having run out of leaves to crunch below their heels and, unfortunately, time. Adrien was home, now, and Marinette had completely forgotten for just a moment that she was supposed to be talking to him—supposed to be confessing her feelings.

But they were both so happy. She didn't want to ruin that.

Maybe...

Maybe it wouldn't ruin it…

Perhaps, if she let her heart hope for just a moment, telling Adrien that she'd been crushing on him since she was fourteen would only make his smile grow. Perhaps…he would be excited to hear that.

Marinette had waited all day to tell him. Why back out now?

There was no reason for her to. Alya was right; Adrien was too sweet to be rude to her, and he certainly appeared to be in a wonderful mood at the moment, albeit slightly out of breath.

She should do it, she should, she would-

"Well," Adrien said, taking a moment to catch his breath before shooting her that dazzling smile. "This is me. Thanks for walking me home, Mari."

"Oh," Marinette breathed, nodding. Right, yes, right- Adrien was home now, and he was probably going to go inside, most likely forgetting that she had something to tell him before it was too late. She could go home now if she wanted. She could pretend that she'd never had something to confess.

But that would make her a coward, wouldn't it?

She'd been planning this since Sunday morning. Alya had been so excited for her, so proud, and given Marinette such a wonderful feeling of friendship that, god, if she didn't tell Adrien now… she would feel awful, and- and probably never work up the guts to tell him ever again.

She had to. She had to now.

"Adrien," Marinette began, feeling her heart race in her chest. Wind chilled her cheeks as it blew past them, wisps of black hair kissing her skin. It was now or never, and Adrien was right there. "I, um, did have something to tell you, actually."

Loosening the scarf around his neck—the blue scarf she would always recognize—Adrien smiled, giving her a nod. "Yeah?"

Oh, god.

Could she really do this…?

Yes! Yes, I can!

Adrien was her friend. Even if he didn't feel the same, he wouldn't hurt her. He'd never hurt her. He would let her down gently and they would go about their day without a hindrance to their friendship.

Granted, Marinette might cry a little, but it was better to know the truth rather than to spend her life wondering, right?

"Adrien, I..." Marinette sighed, looking up at him through her lashes. This was something she was allowed to feel shy about, after all. "I'm sorry to spring this on you right now, b-but…it's been bugging me all day. And I need-" Her heart would not stop pounding. "-I need to tell you. I need to tell you because it's been two years and I…"

She didn't dare look up at his face.

"...I've been hiding something," she confessed.

Granted, that probably wasn't the best way to word it judging by the way Adrien's eyebrows practically shot up into his hairline, but…what else could she say?

"Hiding something?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice. He leaned in closer, as if she was about to share a dark secret he'd been privy to—as if she was about to admit she'd killed a man.

"It's not bad!" She was quick to correct herself, voice cracking as it increased in volume. "I've just been meaning to tell you something and I've been trying so hard all day but I'm scared and afraid you'll think I'm weird or not want to be friends anymore and oh, I've been keeping this a secret from you for too long, and now I'm rambling-"

A gentle hand on her shoulder ceased her babbling, calming her nerves from a crashing waterfall to an easy flowing river. "Hey," Adrien said in a voice that was too, too soft for her heart to handle. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her skin. "Slow down, Mari. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she answered, cupping her hands together, thumbs fidgeting nervously with each other. "I think I just need to spit it out."

"Spit what out?"

He sounded so caring…

Could she really tell him, while he was so worried about her wellbeing?

A small poke from inside her purse gave Marinette the last ounce of courage she needed. Closing her eyes, she held her breath for one, two, three seconds…then let it out.

"I probably could have done this at a better time," she sighed, knowing very well that he was most likely wanting to go inside and get out of the cold. "But, I-... Adrien, I… I-" Was it normal to feel like she was going to throw up? Was that the expected feeling when confessing to a person? "I- I…! Ihaveacrushonyou!"

Silence.

Her heart beat loudly in her ears, chest burning.

"Come again?" Adrien asked, cocking his head to the side. Did he have to smile so sweetly? "Sorry, Marinette, I didn't quite catch that. You said it so fast."

Oh, hell.

Well…there was no use shying away now. If she'd said it once, she could say it again, no matter how much it pained her to let the words slip from her lips a second time.

Why, why was this so hard?

Gripping the bottom of her jacket, Marinette let her eyes meet his summer greens, which filled her with a burst of pure affection for this wonderful, amazing boy. Adrien, the boy who made her heart race a million miles in her chest and the boy who she had fallen so, so hard for.

Adrien...the boy who she so badly wanted to have fallen for her in return.

There was only one way she'd know for sure.

"I said," Marinette whispered, voice growing quiet yet all the more determined. "I said I…I have a crush on you, Adrien. I've had one for such a long time now, and I…I needed to tell you. I needed to-" She swallowed, gaze downcast. This was so much harder than she'd ever imagined it would be. "-to know how you feel about me."

She heard an intake of breath and, as she struggled to find the courage to look up, she hoped, prayed that she would see the warm smile she had grown to love so, so much when she finally shifted her eyes from the floor.

But her shoulder which had been so blessed by his touch moments ago suddenly grew too cold, and somewhere deep inside the pit of her being a prickling of anxiety was telling her that something had gone very, very wrong.

Adrien was too quiet.

He wasn't-

He wasn't supposed to be quiet, but-

But he was.

And that—that was what began to tear Marinette apart.

"...Marinette," Adrien said after a moment, tone soft, delicate; as if he was afraid of breaking an already cracking surface. "Mari..."

Oh, no- no, his voice…

Don't sound like that, her mind begged, don't sound so full of regret, please.

But he did, and it hurt. It hurt.

Knowing exactly where this was going, Marinette hung her head in defeat, eyes burning with the threat of tears. But she wouldn't cry in front of him. She couldn't do that, couldn't show that this was already slowly killing her. She was stronger than that. Stronger than crying in front of her crush.

"Mari, I…I'm flattered, really," continued Adrien, "but…"

And there it was.

"But."

It was like acid to her heart, a poison that tasted bitter on her tongue.

"But I- I'm not sure I-" A sigh blew from his lips as he placed both of his hands on her shoulders, his touch light, apologetic. Marinette could only let him hold her at the moment—there was no way she could brave the pain that would come with looking at his face. "...I'm sorry, Marinette. There's…I have feelings for someone-"

"It's okay," she breathed, voice cracked. She didn't want him to finish that sentence, couldn't let him, lest jealousy take over her already trembling body. "Don't be sorry, Adrien, it's…it's alright."

Swallowing around the lump in her throat that made the waver in her voice all the more prominent, Marinette fought against the tears that begged to spill from her burning eyes. She knew Adrien was watching her. She could feel his warm gaze upon her, gentle and caring—yet she couldn't find the strength within herself to even spare him a glance. It would tear open the already bleeding wound that had shredded her heart.

"Can we still be friends?" Adrien asked, sounding so far away.

Was he afraid that she'd hate him for this? Blame him for not feeling the same?

It wasn't his fault that he didn't return her feelings. It wouldn't be right for her to be upset with him because of that. Adrien had his affections elsewhere, for some other girl she hadn't met—or, at least, she assumed she hadn't—and that was okay. Nobody can help who they fall in love with.

Not Adrien. Not even herself.

An icy wind blew right through her.

"Of course I still want to be friends with you," she said after a moment, voice surprisingly calm even as she was crumbling inside. Forcing a smile to her face, she placed a hand over one of his, which cupped her shoulder in a touch so soft that it let her know how truly sorry he was. "I wouldn't throw away our friendship over a silly crush, Adrien…"

Their eyes met then, a look shared between them. Green eyes full of regret burned back at her own, heavy and full of a thousand apologies Marinette wanted to wash away.

Adrien should not have been feeling sorry for her.

It almost made her angry, the way he was looking at her as if she was some injured puppy that had been left to die in the streets of Paris.

Marinette was not incapable of surviving without his love. She would hurt, yes, and there would be buckets of tears, but she would move on. She was Ladybug, after all, amazing on her own—and being without a boy's love wouldn't change that.

"Please don't look at me like that," Marinette whispered, settling her sad blues back on the concrete below her feet. Leaves blew past her boots, and the sight of them was much less fun than it had been a few minutes prior. "I'm not mad at you, Adrien."

He was silent for a moment, frozen and hesitant, his hand releasing his grip on her shoulder a second later. Marinette feared he might walk away, might leave her to shatter into pieces along the sidewalk. It was irrational for her to even think such a thing, because deep down inside she knew he wouldn't—but the fear still nagged at her, bubbled at the pit of her stomach and made her feel sick.

Maybe it would be for the best: Adrien shrugging her off and walking through the gates of his mansion without a second thought. He didn't need to see her at her worst.

Adrien should have just left right then and let her go home to cry. It would spare her the embarrassment of breaking down in front of him, anyways. He did not need to see her cry. Not after he already felt bad enough for simply telling her the truth.

Go, Marinette's mind said what her lips wouldn't. Please, just go. Go home.

As if Adrien had read her thoughts, he shifted, and for a split second Marinette was sure he was about to open the gate, but-

But then he did something unexpected, something Marinette had only imagined would happen if he'd been happy about her confession; something that made her nerves spark and heart jump wildly in her chest simply because she could feel him.

Adrien had wrapped her in a hug.

And not just any hug—a hug that was so warm and so needed that it took all of Marinette's self control (and then some) not to just burst into tears right then and there. His arms were tight around her, squeezing her in a hold that made her want to bury her face into the crook of his neck and cry for hours. He smelled sweet, welcoming, like some expensive fruity shampoo she imagined cost more than the clothes she was wearing. The only word her mind could compare his hug to was heartfelt and god, she didn't ever want him to pull away.

It only took her a brief moment for her to realize that she should have been hugging back.

Her arms weaved around his torso, face buried within his chest. He was so warm…

It was too much. It was all just too much.

The tears she had fought back with such vigor broke free, beading down her cheeks and dampening her skin. No noises accompanied her sorrow, however; not a whimper or a sniffle. Just tears. Salty, shameful tears.

As Adrien's head rested atop her own, she could feel wisps of blond hair tickling her forehead, sunny and soft just like the boy the strands were attached to. Marinette was sure he couldn't tell she was crying—at least, not yet—and she intended to keep it that way. He didn't need to know how badly this was really hurting her. It'd only hurt him in return.

Adrien was a person of good heart. Marinette knew he couldn't stand the thought of hurting another's feelings, especially one of his friend's, so if he found out that he had succeeded in making her cry? Well…

She might not have been the only one shedding tears that afternoon.

Taking a deep breath, Marinette broke away from the hug no matter how it pained her to do so. Holding on to something that wasn't hers would only cause her to grow more attached, and all she needed right then was to get away, to stop loving him and to stop craving his touch.

But he made it so hard.

Quickly wiping her tears with her sleeve, she sniffled, fighting the urge to whimper and run home. She was stronger than this. She could deal with the pain of rejection.

After a moment of silence she lifted her eyes from the pavement and met those of her crush, only to find that he wasn't looking at her at all. Hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat, he shuffled his feet, gaze lowered to his shoes as if he was finding it difficult to conjure up the right words to say.

"Mari," he breathed, flicking his eyes to her own. His voice sounded so…so sad, like he couldn't stand the fact that he was breaking her heart—like he wished he could feel the same about her just so he wouldn't hurt her. "I'm sorry."

Great, I've gone and made him sad, Marinette thought, mentally kicking herself. She'd stupidly made Adrien feel bad about not liking her just because she couldn't control her own emotions. What kind of asshole makes Adrien Agreste, actual sweet kitten, feel bad?

"Don't apologize," she said, voice cracked with sorrow. "You have nothing to apologize for, Adrien."

"But I-"

"Don't, Adrien. It's okay. I'm…I'm okay." A lie, but one that would be true within time. Forcing a smile to her face, Marinette placed a hand atop Adrien's shoulder and gave it a squeeze, one that was light yet firm in a silent promise that she would be alright.

Eventually…she would be alright.

"You don't…" he paused to swallow, green eyes falling to the floor. His voice wavered as he spoke. "You don't hate me now, do you?"

Hate-

Hate him?

How on Earth could she possibly feel hatred for him? Why would he even think such a thing?

Not having her crush reciprocated wouldn't destroy their friendship, and certainly not her respect for him!

"Adrien, no!" Marinette gasped, shaking her head with such insistence that it almost made her dizzy. "No, no, of course I don't- I don't hate you! Don't think that!"

But by the look on his face—a look so scared and weary—Marinette knew that was all he feared: being hated by one of his best friends simply because he didn't share her feelings.

"Adrien," continued Marinette, placing both of her hands on his shoulders and staring up at him with warmth in her gaze. "It's okay. I promise. I don't hate you, I could never h-hate- I- I love-"

...you.

She cringed at her own slip of the tongue.

Adrien seemed to have noticed it as well, judging by the way his expression fell, fear turned to utter distress. He was already feeling bad enough about rejecting her, but with Marinette almost letting those three intimate words free, she could only imagine how much worse it had made the situation. How much worse it must have made him feel.

It was as if he was taking this harder than she was.

"I'm sorry, Marinette," he whispered, stepping away from her touch. "I think- I think maybe…we should both go home."

Words which stung deeper than his rejection.

"Right," Marinette breathed, nodding as she took a step back. "Right, okay. I'll see you tomorrow, Adrien."

Adrien frowned, squeezing a part of his scarf that hung in front of his chest. He gave her a smile—not a real smile, of course; the smile he only used when he needed to. His model smile.

A fake smile.

"Yeah," he replied, nodding once before turning to the keypad at the gate. "I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, and Mari?"

Marinette met his eyes one last time.

Voice soft and eyes gentle, Adrien smiled, a real smile for just a moment as he said, "I…I think you're really amazing, and really brave and sweet, and you're one of my best friends. I hope…I hope we can continue to be as close as we are."

Swallowing around the lump in her throat, Marinette nodded. "Me too."

At least their friendship wouldn't falter.

Hopefully.

After a painful bout of silence, Marinette watched Adrien give her a final wave before walking through the gate and, as she wiped away a final tear, begin his ascent up the stairs.

Welp.

It was time to go home.

The walk wasn't pleasant. The chill of autumn air nipped at her skin in an uncomfortable prickle and the breeze blew right through her clothes, leaving her shivering and cold. Leaves crunched under her boots, which was anything but satisfying, crumbling to tiny dry pieces that danced away in the breeze.

Memories from mere minutes ago when they'd chased each other along the very street she currently walked on played in her head, and they were nothing but painful. They stung, much like the cold, and squeezed at her heart.

The leaves were no longer fun to run through.

Above, an overcast had crawled in, blotting out the sky in a mass of gray clouds. It was probably going to rain, Marinette figured, turning a corner and ignoring the way her eyes burned with the desire to leak.

No tears. No tears just yet.

No crying.

No…no-

"Stop it," she hissed at herself as a tear snuck free, quickly wiping it before it could slide down her cheek. "You're stronger than this. No crying."

It was too hard. Her heart felt too small.

For the walk home, Marinette allowed herself to be weak.

"Are you sure you don't want something to eat?"

Marinette shook her head at Alya's offering. Although her mother had made dinner, she couldn't bring herself to feel very hungry. Her stomach felt sick and her head pounded from the aftermath of her tears. She'd been crying since she came home, and now her eyes felt as if they were deserts, burning and red and so, so heavy.

"I'm okay," Marinette whispered, voice cracked and stuffy. "Thanks though."

Alya sighed besides her, rubbing her back up and down with a gentle hand and adjusting the blanket so that it covered her friend up to her shoulders. Reaching to the end of the bed, she grabbed a handful of tissues and held them out to Marinette with a frown. "Here, girl."

"Thanks." Sniffling, Marinette blew her nose into the tissues and sighed, feeling incredibly exhausted after the day she'd had. The first thing she had done when she'd walked through the back door of the bakery (so her parents wouldn't see her crying) was run up to her room and shut and lock the door before bursting into a fit of tears and calling Alya a moment later.

Alya…

Marinette couldn't understand how she'd been blessed with such an amazing friend.; a friend who listened to her blubber over the phone and rushed over with tissues, blankets and all of her favorite movies and snacks. She had rubbed her back, held her when she sobbed, and let her cry and cry without ever asking for anything in return.

The thought managed to sneak a tiny smile upon Marinette's face.

"Alya?" She yawned, rubbing at her damp eyes. "You're going to be my best friend forever."

A chuckle rose from beside her and Marinette's smile only grew when she was enveloped in a tight hug. "Aw, Marinette," Alya said, "I love you too, girl."

"I mean it." Turning, Marinette wrapped her arms around her friend and gave her a squeeze, burying her head within the crook of her shoulder. "You've let me whine all day long and have been so patient with me. What did I do to deserve you?"

Her question only made Alya hug her tighter before pulling back to gaze at her tear-stained face. "You're you. And that's enough for me. Now, come on," she said, flipping over the pillow spotted with damp mascara and patting it. "If you're not going to eat, at least get some sleep. You're exhausted."

Truthfully, Marinette was far more than exhausted, but she didn't know if it was possible for her to even sleep at all. With all of the thoughts racing in her head, memories of Adrien's gentle rejection, her heart and head hurt too much for her to do much of anything. She couldn't just lay awake in the dark. She'd cry all night long.

But…Alya would be there with her. And if she cried, that would be okay. Crying was all she really needed right now. Alya wouldn't judge her for that.

Sighing for the hundredth time that day, Marinette nodded and went to wipe her eyes, but frowned as a streak of black smudged across her knuckles. "Oh, great," she grumbled, "I probably look like a raccoon."

"Hold on."

Alya climbed down from the loft and left the room for just a moment before returning, motioning with her finger for Marinette to scoot forward once she'd sat back on the bed. Marinette obeyed, sitting directly in front of her friend and managing a small smile as she began to wipe her face clean of makeup. The wipes were cool against her skin, and her face felt lighter after the blotches of mascara and eyeliner were removed.

"Thanks," whispered Marinette once Alya had finished. Completely fatigued, she laid down and curled up underneath the warmth of her covers, burying her face within the clean side of her pillow. It was soft, comforting; a welcoming cloud that made her feel about a thousand times more tired. Before she let herself sleep, though, she peeked open an eye at her best friend and asked, "Are you going to stay?"

"Of course I am," Alya replied, having already turned out the light and slipping underneath the covers. "I wouldn't leave you alone when you're feeling like this."

Marinette wanted to smile, but she simply had no energy left within her body. "Thank you."

"It's no problem, Marinette. Try to sleep, okay?"

Nodding, Marinette closed her drooping eyes. "Okay… Goodnight, Alya."

"Goodnight."

She thought she could fall asleep. She figured it would be easy with how tired she was.

But, much like eating was impossible when upset, sleeping just happened to be even more so.

And when Marinette closed her eyes, she-

"...I'm sorry, Marinette. There's…I have feelings for someone-"

...Someone else.

-she wanted to cry, but there were no tears left to let loose.

Marinette wasn't sure how long she lay awake with anxieties dancing in her thoughts. Her stomach twisted, her head throbbed and her nostrils felt completely caked, body protesting consciousness after her fit of hopeless sobs. She wanted to sleep, she wanted to, needed to, but no matter how hard she tried…

She just couldn't.

Had it been minutes? Hours? Or perhaps only seconds?

Marinette didn't know.

Judging by Alya's slow breathing next to her, it had probably been quite some time.

I can't sleep, she said to herself, I won't sleep. I can't.

She had to, but- but- but she couldn't-

"Ugh," she hissed, slipping out from underneath her covers and sitting up with a quiet groan. Her room was too stuffy; she needed some fresh air to clear her head.

Climbing up to her terrace, Marinette heaved a heavy sigh and dragged her feet to the railing, where she leaned her arms on the cool metal surface. It was damp with dew and cold, but she couldn't find it in herself to care.

She couldn't find herself caring about anything at the moment.

Wiping a final tear that strayed down her cheek, Marinette looked to her side, only to jump, startled—because a pair of delicate green eyes were watching her, sad and full of regret as the boy who owned them realized he was caught and slunk away.

Our poor Mari...

The first chapter got quite lengthy I admit lmao

The next chapters wont be quite as long. I don't have a set update schedule, but I do hope to update about twice a month.

As always, my tumblr is frostedpuffs, so if you want to shoot me a message or give me a follow, feel free!