Things to Know For This Chapter:

POV

"Talking"

"Thinking"

Writing

Plot twist and third short chapter. Healthy reminder that this is fiction and that basically this whole story is impossible.

THIRD POV

Celia was a morbid child- always thinking of death. Once when she was younger, she asked her mom if her dad would die before them since he is the oldest. Her mother was pretty mortified, usually kids think about all the wonders of life not what comes after. She yelled at Celia for thinking such a thing. Therefore, someone can say that death has been on her mind for a long time. She is not fascinated by it and does not fear it. She doesn't know why it's been in her thoughts for as long as it has.

"What is my childhood trauma?" That's a question she doesn't have the answer to. She can't remember what happened to her or what she may have witnessed that struck the black cord in her head. If it even exists. It bothers her that she doesn't know. Sometimes she fears that she's just naturally messed up in the head.

Celia wants to talk to Louie about these thoughts but can't bring him back into her problems. He seems happy and she doesn't want to ruin it. Talking to Jorge helps her but it doesn't really help. It makes her sad because she can't talk to Louie about it and feel guilty because her first choice would be to talk to Louie.

She could talk to Alex but talking about emotions with her is hard. Celia can never tell what Alex thinks and it makes her thoughts turn more paranoid. Talking to her brother isn't really an option. They haven't been close in years. She wonders what happened. Sometimes she feels like he doesn't like her. She has tried to talk to her sister but she rolls her eyes when Celia says that she has social anxiety. Her sister doesn't believe she does. She thinks Celia is just being ridiculous. That Celia is a coward. Celia knows that she is a coward and being ridiculous but can't stop herself. She just wants to be normal.

Celia will never talk to her parents about it. Her mother is always calling the girls who cut themselves and commit suicide on TV stupid or pathetic. She is well adept at using those words towards Celia too. Her dad, well, he lost all her trust a long time ago. Celia's parents have gotten much better since they've moved but that doesn't cure her. For peaceful living, she hides the side of her that hates them. Sometimes it shows.

Celia wishes that could she could write about it. She wishes that she was able able to put it into words that would make people feel what she is feeling. That would make people understand. No matter how she writes it something is wrong.

I want to die and I don't know why.

I want to die and I don't know why.

I want to die and I don't know why.

I want to talk to him again.

I want to see what tomorrow will bring.

I want to go on adventures with them.

I want to eat my mother's food.

I want to see the end of my red string.

I want to do some good.

But I am resentful.

But I am impatient.

But I am tired.

I apologize but I am going to die.

I apologize but I am going to die.

I apologize but I am going to die.

And even as I write this I cannot cry.

Celia finishes typing up the document on her google docs. Nobody knows the password to her laptop or her google account so it's not meant to be read. She hopes no one finds it. Celia closes her laptop and takes a deep breathe. The doors of her car are already opened. She turns on the ignition of her car and keeps it in park. She pulls the lever of her seat to lay back.

Celia sleeps.

Setsuka wakes up slowly from her dream, reliving her actions and thoughts of that day isn't exactly pleasing. There is warm energy entering her. From behind her eyelids she can see soft green light. She has to blink a few times to get the full picture of what is in front of her. There's a medic-nin with honey skin, black hair, and brown eyes healing Setsuka's face.

"M-Mommy?"

The medic-nin stops healing and gently cups her face. "S-Setsuka?" She says. Setsuka looks around to see that the other two aren't there and nods. The medic takes in the burns, the missing skin of Setsuka's right leg, the wetness of her hair and the finger-shaped bruises on the back of her neck.

It should have been obvious. Nevertheless, when she sees her mother's Iwa headband her state of mind breaks just a little more. "This is just- I don't know why I'm surprised at all," she chuckles. "I should have figured. I'm way too good at this spying thing for it not to be inherited talent...Apparently not good enough."

"M-My snow flower...I'm so sorry…" Tears start forming in her mother's eyes.

"Oh shut up," Setsuka snaps. "I'm surprised that I've survived this long and I don't fault you at all. I think I can see what happened. A spy who's chance of escaping narrows as the war progresses goes to a bar to drink away her problems. One thing leads to another and oh shit you're pregnant with Sakumo Hatake's child. Bingo! I'm your ticket out of the village! Just a little tug at the heartstrings of the Hokage and mission complete!" She can feel herself going off the deep end while losing all of her energy. "Talk about...turning something in your favor...I'm impressed really...really...impressed."

The intelligence of Hana's daughter leaves her surprised. She supposes she should have expected it considering who her father is Hana didn't want to leave, she wanted to stay. Not for Sakumo but for Setsuka. Except Hana feared that discovery of her true allegiance would get both her and Setsuka killed, so she left. Seeing her daughter in such a state at the age of eight fills Hana with regret. She heals Setsuka while crying. "Konoha will come for you, right?" Of course she knows that most likely isn't the case. Hana gently lays her forehead against Setsuka's, "I will save you."