Arizona looked around her bedroom. This house was too big, she thought, too big for just one person. She could feel the emptiness pressing against her as she sat on the bed trying to muster up the energy to move.

They'd kept her the day at the hospital but none of her injuries required further intensive care so they'd had to discharge her. She could feel her ribs, her wrist and her forearm with acute pain, but to be honest her whole body felt like it had been thrown around in a particularly violent football game. She looked around and set her eyes on the bag on her bedside table.

Alex helped sneak her out of the hospital, although she couldn't imagine they would manage to keep this a secret for long, she appreciated the effort. He'd helped her upstairs and explained the contents of the bag he gingerly set down on the table before awkwardly making his exit.

A cream for her forearm and other lacerations and a collection of painkillers that would surely knock her right out. She sighed and reached for the crutches leaning against the bed, grabbing the bag in the process, she hobbled over to the bathroom and turned the knobs for the shower scalding hot. Leaving the bag on the counter, she peeled off her clothes. She tried desperately not to look at herself. She felt dirty, used almost. Although she couldn't make everything out, she did have a sense that his hands had left a lasting impression on her skin; she ran her palm over distinct nail scratches along her left thigh, where he would have had to pull to rid her of her prosthetic. She maneuvered herself into the shower, trying to situate herself on the shower bench in such a way that the wrap on her wrist wouldn't get wet, she didn't think she could rewrap it herself. Holding on to the bar on the wall on one side and the shower door on the other, she scooted backward until the water was cascading down her head and body. It burned, made her skin feel like it was on fire, but she didn't know what else to do, how else to get him off her.

That's when she let go. She'd cried the day before, but had stopped herself short when the embarrassment of Meredith being present settled in. Here, with the rush of water covering up the sound and the walls shielding her from the world's stare she lost it. Cried until she was gasping for air, clung to the wall like it was the only thing keeping her alive, screamed like she'd wanted to for years now. She couldn't understand the hand dealt to her. In just over five years, she'd been involved in a shooting, a car crash, a plane crash and now an assault. She'd lost her leg, She'd gotten married just to lose all hope for love, lost her childhood best friend, had a child only to lose her father, and at this point she didn't even have Sofia there. Everything seemed to have gone wrong and it didn't seem there was any air left, any space to exist.

She opened her eyes and gasped in a deep breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. The water had gone cold. She looked at the tiles in front of her as the water continued to pound at her back. She noticed the bag left on the counter. Breathing shallowly she reminded herself of what she still had. She had Alex. She had April, someone who'd become an unexpected ally, something good that had happened in the last five years. She had friends, and supporters, people who genuinely cared for her no matter the shit the world threw at her. In that moment, that was enough for her take a breath a keep going. It was going to take so much more, but she couldn't sink into total despair yet, she had people.

She sat on the bed, in pyjamas that she'd spent a considerable time trying to put on, staring at the cream and pills in front of her. She moved her hand to the clasp for the gauze wrapped around her forearm, shaking at the thought of confronting the word on her arm. She couldn't do it. She collapsed back onto the mountain of pillows behind her, tears fighting to escape. She turned her head to the phone on the nightstand and grabbed it instead.

She dialled and held the phone up to her ear, half praying they wouldn't answer. She nervously picked at hem of her top, biting her lip as the phone rang for the fourth time. She made the move to hang up when she heard a groggy voice come through.

"Hello? Arizona? It's eleven and I work mornings on Thursdays you know that"

Shit, she hadn't thought of the time difference, Arizona seriously considered just hanging up right then and there, but she couldn't do it.

"…Callie…" her voice wavered as she tried to keep it together.

"Arizona?" Callie's tone had gone from irritated to concerned, "is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"Ummm… I wanted … I wanted you to hear it from me and I don't know how long we can keep it quiet and I was about to take one of the pills and I realised I don't know how long I'll be out for and Sofia…" Arizona had completely lost her train of thought as tears fell freely down her face. On the other side of the call, Callie was thoroughly confused,

"What are talking about Arizona, what pills, what secret? What happened?" Arizona could hear her moving around, clearly not sleepy anymore. Arizona took a deep breath, trying to scramble together how to announce to her ex wife that she'd been attacked. She hadn't thought this through and once again she considered hanging up,

"Arizona please," Callie's soft tone pleaded with her through the phone, Arizona broke,

"Last night," Arizona stared at the blanket, picking lint off of it, "I was walking back to my car from Joe's and ummm…" she brought a hand up to her face, leaning into it, "a man attacked me." her voice cracked and from the other end, she heard Callie draw in a breath. She picked up at super speed,

"I'm fine really, just a few cracked ribs, a sprained wrist, bruises and lacerations. He took my prosthetic, the police think I was targeted for it, but I'm fine honestly. I'm just calling because I don't know how much time I'll be able to make for Sofia and I don't exactly look um, presentable right now and I was hoping to talk to her but I guess it's late, I'll call back um…"

"Arizona," Callie's soft voice interrupted her, "Ya" Arizona's voice cracked as she answered through tears.

"Did you shower?" Arizona took a breath, her body visibly calming from its tense position, "Ya".

"And you have your other prosthetic in the closet?", "Ya".

"And you're safe, in bed?" Callie continued, the softness of her voice carrying over to Arizona,

"Ya I am."

"Everything is ok. I'll tell Sofia that you won't be able to talk for a little while and you can tell her when you're ready." Arizona sighed and closed her eyes briefly before replying,

"Thank you, Callie." Callie smiled and sat down on her couch,

"Thank you, Arizona. For calling me, it means a lot. I … I know how hard this has to be." she took a breath, "boy aren't you the unluckiest person alive?"

Arizona actually laughed, and Callie smiled again, an awkward silence filled the air as they tried to feel out the conversation, figuring out what they were to each other in this moment. Callie was the person who knew most what Arizona was going through right at that moment, but they barely had a relationship of any kind right now. The sad tension surrounded them both,

"You really are doing ok though?" Arizona considered the question, looking down at her bandaged forearm,

"I have people." She breathed deeply, "Alex, April, Bailey, even Meredith. I've got people, if I've learned anything from last time, it's that I can't stay stuck in one place. I've gotta do something… I think I'm gonna umm… I'm gonna find a therapist… to" she gulped at the thought, "to deal with my shit, as Alex put it."

Callie couldn't believe what she was hearing. It filled her with a certain pride to hear that Arizona was finally willingly seeking help. She'd watched this incredible woman go through hell and she knew her better than anyone and Arizona was a very proud person. Which is why there was also a bit of sadness, that this had finally broken her, that she'd realised to what extent the world had beaten her up. Callie shook her head,

"I know how much is going into that decision Arizona, and I'm not gonna tell you I'm proud because I can just feel you pulling away at what you think is me being patronizing" Arizona rolled her eyes but smiled a little, "but I do understand just what this decision means and I think it's incredible, you're incredible. And you've been through so much, you deserve better and this absolutely the first step."