I am a terrible writer! I am so sorry I went AWOL with this story. I didn't mean to at all, but life got CRAZY as I worked towards my graduation (a BA I've been working on since 2006... long story). I know this chapter isn't long, but it's meant to start dropping seeds for the meat of the story.

All comments and suggestions are loved and appreciated!

Return to duty did not mean a return to normality for Kathryn. As much as she would have liked to fall head first into command and forgot the astronomical changes heading her way, the bulge of her once flat stomach made that impossible. She thanked whatever forces ruled the universe for the leniency her uniform gave her, keeping the most visible sign of her pregnancy hidden from all those who didn't know, which was quite a long list.

Four nights after her scan where she'd seen her daughter for the first time, she'd confided in Tuvok. He was her oldest friend aboard and the person she, as captain, could count on to be the most objective in this situation. His analysis had been fair and expected. A contingency plan for when she was on maternity leave and any reduction in duty the Doctor might prescribe over the next six months would be needed, in addition to further plans for how to handle her new, uniquely split focus. Of course, she'd argued against his appraisal, declaring with certainty that once the baby was born that things would be just as they were, but Vulcan logic was too great a force for even her stubbornness to overcome.

"A good leader understands that change is necessary when circumstances dictate." She'd let out a small laugh, wanting to say something about how she was only having a child but realized the enormity of it all again and instead just nodded.

Tuvok had asked about Tom and how she planned to handle that situation. Kathryn hadn't been able to provide him with an answer, besides saying the younger man had every intention of being an involved father. He'd wanted to talk about regulation, how Starfleet would want the situation handled, but she had found no answers in its directives that would be applicable in this land without another Federation ship to cart Tom off to.

"Do you intend to pursue a romantic relationship with Mr. Paris?"

"Oh, please Tuvok, I can hardly believe you'd ask me that question." Her scoff was so absolute and definite.

"I would remind you, Captain, that human emotions are often unpredictable, and that the entanglement of a child will inevitably make your relationship more complicated."

"You don't have to tell me twice, but Mr. Paris is hardly looking to saddle himself to one woman, and even if he were I am by no means available to anyone on this crew." He saw a number of flaws with her logic but held back his critiques.

"Whatever is the case, I would urge you to remember that emotions, left unchecked, can be a significant impediment on judgment and that the more conflicted you become, the more likely it is that your ability to command will be impacted." His words had an immediate effect. Gone was the open to discussion Kathryn Janeway seeking counsel from an old friend and in her place, was the defensive Captain Janeway who guarded the line between herself and the crew like a hawk.

"I believe you've said enough Lieutenant." An arched eyebrow showed he knew he hit the mark.

"If I might-"

"No Tuvok, I don't think you 'might'" Janeway moved to rise quickly, but had to sit back down, the apparent quickness of her motion not agreeing with her pregnancy, or perhaps it was the below suggested amount of food she'd eaten today. Tuvok started from his position on the other chair to help her, but a hand thrown up stopped him. A Captain annoyed was not one for help.

"Captain, all I meant to say was that it is better, in your case, to act on your emotions instead of allowing them to become a larger issue at a later date." It was both that her loyal friend and exemplary officer spoke out of turn and what he said that caught Kathryn off guard. She had been preparing to attempt to rise and leave his quarters once more, but instead, she found herself staring at him with a look akin to disbelief.

"I cannot even begin to entertain the thought of what you are suggesting right now." It was the start of a greater lecture on propriety, but Tuvok, perhaps knowing that she was in no state to be worked up, quickly cleared up his statement.

"Captain, you will soon be a mother in addition to already being the commanding officer of a crew of 147. The many decisions and responsibilities you already make will be compounded by those necessary in raising a child. You should strive to make the sexual and romantic parts of your life as easy and uncomplicated as possible to avoid further stress."

"Well, I find the best way of doing that is not having any and it's working pretty well for me so far, so I think I'll stick with." She gave him a wry smile and wink, a clear sign that this time she meant it with the conversation being over. Now feeling levelheaded, she stood up and headed towards his door. "Thank you for the conversation Tuvok." She called over her shoulder, courtesy coming as an afterthought in her quest to get out of there.

"You are most welcome Captain." As the Vulcan watched his captain walk away, he knew that his words would most likely have little impact at the moment. A stubborn adherence to what Kathryn Janeway believed Starfleet principles would have her do was the thread that held her together in this quadrant, but Tuvok was well aware that all too soon she would be faced with a daily reality that required her to expand herself beyond those teaching. He knew his friend was capable, but it required meditation for him to see how to help her become ready.

Tuvok telling her to go with her urges had not been the counsel she'd been expecting, and frankly, she found herself remarkably put off by it. That, coupled with a hunger headache that was fast making her irritable and dizzy, meant she wanted nothing more than the comfort of her quarters. She walked with a hand on her head, trying to rub away the tension that was rapidly forming behind her forehead. Gone, she realized, were the days when her health decisions caused no short-term consequences.

"Alright kid, we need to set up some ground rules. I'll keep you fed if you let me do my job, ok?" The words came out as soon as her door shut behind her, the sight of her couch calling to her. She slipped a hand down to cover her stomach as she walked towards the replicator, her tactile nature coming out as she spoke to the child growing inside her. "Now what are we going to have for dinner, hmm?" She knew that the baby had yet to gain the ability to hear what she was saying, that wouldn't be for close to another two months, but Voyager wasn't exactly hearing-capable either and Kathryn carried on plenty of conversations with it. By the time this baby was born, it would have no problem recognizing the voice of her mother.

But what about her father's? Kathryn ordered the replicator to give her a serving of Welsh rarebit, a far cry from the glory of her grandmother's version, but enough of a fix to provide her with the comfort she was longing for. The situation with Paris was delicate, it would have to be handled probably now or else by the time the baby was born there would be no hope. She was under no illusions that her life would be an easy one once her child joined them. Taking care of a newborn and a starship all at the same time would make it impossible to have the time to also try to figure out boundaries and relationships lines with Tom. No, their situation needed to be worked out before then.

But not tonight, though. Tonight, Kathryn was going to enjoy her dinner and then a bath.

"I better enjoy being alone while it lasts, shouldn't I?" She asked aloud as she sat down her meal, pulling out her chair as she did so. "Something tells me you're going to cause me nothing but trouble when you get here." Janeway looked down at her stomach and smiled before shaking her head and grabbing a fork. "But I don't think I'm going to mind that much."