Who We Are

Visitors

This idea just sort of came to me after watching the premiere. Daryl has a lot of guilt and self-loathing already and this whole thing with Glenn is only going to make it worse. I was listening to Apologize by OneRepublic and The Show Must Go On by Queen while writing this. I hope you like it.

The images were still flashing through his mind as he laid in the back of the van Negan's men had thrown him into. His hands were tied behind his back and a gag had been placed in his mouth, but he was still able to kick his legs around wildly, slamming them into the walls in anger. He half expected them to pull the van over, take him out, and beat him, but a simple "Negan's going to love you" was all he got, whatever that meant.

Abraham's death had been brutal enough, but it had also been expected. Daryl had already steeled himself for the fact that someone was going to die in that moment and if he could have volunteered he would have gladly taken Abraham's place. Glenn on the other hand was his fault, he held no illusions about that, and that was what was tearing him apart inside right now. Glenn had been there since the beginning, a shining light of hope and optimism among the discontented masses that composed most of the rest of the group. Glenn had been like a brother to him and he had gotten him killed with an act of childish defiance. Thinking on it now he supposed that childish defiance was sort of his calling card in more ways than one.

"Well, well, well," a voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Look at baby brother now."

"You're dead," Daryl said. "You're not really here."

"No I'm not," Merle said with his trademark grin. "And thank shit for that."

"You look like you're in a bit of predicament here baby brother," he continued after a pause. "You guys just can't keep yourselves out of trouble can you."

"What are you doing here," Daryl said.

"Seems to me like you're feeling some self-loathing," Merle said. "And anytime that happens I apparently am the first person your subconscious turns to for answers."

"So what answers are you looking for baby brother," he continued.

"Not sure," Was his only response.

"You're such a pussy aren't you," his brother spat at him. "Someone died because of you and you're too afraid to even say you feel bad about it."

"I don't need your shit," Daryl spat back. "I know what happened."

"Clearly you do need me," his brother said. "Otherwise I wouldn't be here."

"Let's get it over with then," Merle continued and Daryl suddenly found himself pushed up against the wall of the van.

"He died because of your stupidity," his brother started. "His pregnant wife is never going to see him again because you just couldn't hold your shit together."

"Another minute and he would have been done," he continued. "And the ginger would have been the only one dead."

"But you just had to play the tough guy, the hero," Merle laughed at his own words. "And now a good man is dead and you're right here."

"You're such an idiot baby brother," his brother was relentless. "How many more people have to die before you realize that you aren't capable of protecting anyone?"

After another moment Merle was gone and Daryl was left a semi-sobbing mess huddled against the wall of the van.

"Is he crying already," one of Negan's men said to the other.

"He's going to be easy to break," the other replied.

He must have drifted off after that because the next thing he knew they were pulling him out of the van and throwing him into some kind of pen surrounded by chain link fence.

"This is your new home," one of the men said. "Don't get too comfortable though."

He went to the back of the enclosure and huddled with his knees drawn up to his chest. His mind began to wander again before another voice pulled him back again.

"I don't blame you," it was Glenn's voice.

"Of course you don't," Daryl said. "That's who you are."

"He's a bloodthirsty psychopath who was looking for any reason to kill someone else," Glenn said. "You just proved to be as good enough of an excuse as anything else."

"It's still my fault," Daryl said. "It was my fist, it should have been me."

"Listen," Glenn said. "My blood isn't on your hands, it's on Negan's; don't forget that."

"You guys will be fine without me," he continued.

"Not Maggie," Daryl said.

"Maggie is strong," Glenn said. "She'll pull herself together in the end."

"Besides," he continued. "I'll always be with her, watching."

"I should have done more," Daryl said. "Put up more of a fight."

"It would have only resulted in more death," Glenn said putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I failed again," Daryl said.

Suddenly another voice tore through the now, night air and when he looked up Glenn was already gone.

"Clearly he's not getting through that thick skull of yours Daryl Dixon," it was Beth.

He brought his eyes back down to the ground, unable to even look at her. "You shouldn't be here."

"Why not," she said and he imagined she had her hands on her hips. "You didn't expect me to just sit around while you had your little pity party."

"I definitely don't deserve anyone's pity," he said. "Especially not from your family."

"This is the third time someone your sister loves has died because of me," he continued. "She should hate me and so should you."

"I could never hate you Daryl Dixon," she said. "Your much too good of a man for that."

"Now look at me," she said and he couldn't refuse her. "You're a good man."

"Glenn doesn't blame you for anything," she continued. "Maggie doesn't blame you for anything."

"I don't blame you for anything either, stuff just happens sometimes," she finished.

"I should have done more," he said. "To protect you, all of you."

"You're just one man Daryl, not a superhero," she said motioning him to stand. "They could have never gotten this far without you."

She pulled him into a hug. He found himself reveling in the contact, forgetting for a moment that it was all just part of his subconscious.

"Now I don't want to hear any more of that blaming yourself that you've been doing," she whispered into his ear.

"You're a better man than you give yourself credit for," she continued. "One of the reasons I love you."

A gunshot sounded nearby and he was briefly pulled from his mind.

"The bad men are coming back," she said. "You can't let them break you, you have to fight, for all of us."

With that she was gone and soon enough Negan's men were unlocking the gate at the front of his enclosure. He tried his best to steel himself for whatever was about to happen next.

"Negan just got back," one of the men said with a sick smile. "Does he ever have plans for you boy."

He didn't know what was coming next, but he had to get through it, for Glenn, for Beth, for everyone he failed. Whatever it was it was a small penance that he had to pay compared to what they did.

I'm not sure what kind of one shots I'll do in the future, but I guess we'll see what kind of inspiration the show gives me. I still think that the second half of season 4 and the first half of season 5 are the pinnacle of the show so I may go back there at some point.