For once, the Loud house was anything but loud. Most of the Loud children were out with their father to go out to get ice cream in celebration of Lola's first ever pageant 1st place trophy, all at the age of 3. Only Rita, Lori, Lynn, and baby Lisa were left. Like on every weekday afternoon, Lori was put in charge of making sure that Lynn was keeping up with her math homework, something that she frequently ditched in order to play sports.
Lynn was not coping well with the prison she felt she was locked into. Although she was promised her own cup of ice cream as soon as her father returned, she still felt that going out and doing something other than sitting at the living room table, with both math homework and Lori lording over her, was better than her current predicament. For the thirtieth time that hour, Lynn glanced over the math assignment under her nose and groaned in despair.
"Lynn, how many times do I have to tell you that groaning at your problems won't make them go away?" Lori responded condescendingly. She was more than fed up with Lynn's attitude, especially since she felt like she was being lazy. All she thought that Lynn needed was to try to genuinely attempt to figure out her assignment, rather than throwing her hands up in the air in frustration and ditching her homework for her beloved sports.
"And seriously, how dare you act like the victim here. You think I like being forced to spend all my free time making sure that you don't flunk out of school, all because you'd rather get sweaty and kick a dumb ball around for hours on end than solving simple mathematical equations?"
That remark was enough to get Lynn to fire back at her. No one would get away with equating sports to nonsense that could be called "dumb", not even Lori.
"Hey! Soccer is way more than kicking some dumb ball around! At least it's a lot more productive than texting your friends about boys that don't even know that you exist!" Lynn exclaimed with indignation. She felt her mission was accomplished when she noticed that vein on Lori's forehead swell up and her nostrils slightly flare up. Unfortunately for her, Lori retained a lock on her temper, denying her the opportunity to verbally spar with her in order to make Lori give up on her and leave her be.
"FYI, Derek Ferguson knows that I exist, thank you very much. The only reason I haven't gotten any further with him is because I have to deal with my lazy sister until she gets her act together," Lori calmly retorted. She would not let Lynn have her way. She was almost offended that Lynn thought she could get away with being so transparent. She flashed a smug grin when Lynn's anger only intensified.
"Well, maybe I'd get my act together if Algebra wasn't the most pointless, more difficult thing ever created! Seriously, who cares about simplifying square roots and exponents when you're playing in international soccer tournaments?" Lynn complained, slamming her pencil down and crossing her arms while glaring off into space. Despite her efforts to look peeved, Lori couldn't help but think that Lynn was way too cute to pull that off. She almost wanted to reach over and pat her head and coddle her like an infant loftily.
Speaking of infants, she noticed Lisa crawling around just a few feet away from them in her field of vision.
"Pssh, you think that stuff is hard? I'd trade you quadratic equations and trigonometry for that kiddie stuff if I could," Lori offered facetiously. She almost laughed when Lynn snapped out of her tantrum to stick her tongue out in disgust at the idea.
"Yech. Just the sound of those makes my skin crawl."
"Well then, you'd better master the stuff you have to learn now before you get to that point. Seriously, Lynn, it's not that hard. All you have to do is try," Lori warmly suggested. She honestly felt like Lynn wasn't trying and that was what irritated her the most.
Lynn seemed to get pick up the genuine concern and compassion in her voice and reluctantly returned to her math assignment, albeit reluctantly and with some protest still evident in her being.
"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Lynn grumbled lowly. With those words, Lori got herself up from her seat and headed towards the staircase, much to Lynn's surprise.
"Well, I hope you truly got it by the time I get back."
"Get back from where?" Lynn questioned. Lori would often take breaks to go get a snack or to the bathroom on the floor they were on but from where she was headed, it looked like she was going upstairs.
"In case you haven't realized, I have a social life to keep up with and a homecoming queen crown and sash to win. I've literally been planning to win it ever since I got into high school and I need to boost my reputation on social media any time I can," Lori explained.
She looked up at the ceiling and shook her fist animatedly as she loudly proclaimed, "You hear that, Carol Pingrey?! You're going down!"
"Uhhh, you know she can't hear you, right?" Lynn responded in amusement. That got Lori's attention in a hurry, who tried her best to quickly retain her composure.
"Shut it, twerp. Just get back to your homework and like I said, I better see some of it done by the time I come back," Lori commanded and continued her short trek up the stairs, not looking back to scold Lynn for groaning loudly in agony.
With no one around left to talk to, Lynn began spelling out her problems out loud, chewing at the eraser on her pencil as her eyes danced over the equations that seemed to mock her and her inability to figure them out.
"Man, this bites. The square root of 32? How is that even possible? No two whole numbers multiply together to get 32 so how can you even…"
Her train of through was derailed when she felt something tug against her shorts. She looked down and noticed that it was none other than, Lisa, seemingly trying to get her attention. Lynn didn't mind. She always appreciated having her adorable baby sister around to keep her company when she wasn't roughhousing with Lincoln or improving herself in athletic endeavors.
"Oh, hi, Lisa!" Lynn chirped, lightly poking Lisa in the nose and giggling at the cute cooing sounds she made in response. As she did so, Lisa also stretched her arms up over her head and curled her fingers inward. That was the universal sign that she wanted to be picked up.
"You wanna see what I'm doing? 'Kay but you're probably gonna be as bored as me once you see what it is," Lynn warned, knowing full well that Lisa wouldn't truly care. She placed the pencil down next to her homework and reached down to pick her up and placed her on her lap, adjusting until Lisa could peer over the edge of the table and look at the paper that had been tormenting Lynn for nearly two hours.
"See all this stuff, Lisa? Pretty soon, you're gonna have to start doing it, too. It's called homework and it's the most pointless thing that kids like me have to go through. Like, who needs to know about…" Lynn paused when she heard the sound of scribbling, as if paper had been greeted by the point of pencil. Since she hadn't even touched her homework to do anything except write her name at the top of it, Lynn deduced that while she wasn't paying attention, Lisa had taken the pencil and appeared to be doodling all over it.
Lynn gasped in panic and quickly snatched the pencil out of Lisa's hand. Thankfully, this didn't get Lisa to start a crying fit. If anything, Lisa almost looked as if she were proud of herself. Lynn placed the pencil down away from Lisa and picked up her homework to look over the damage that Lisa had evidently done. It wouldn't be a problem since Lynn could just erase it but she'd rather not have to deal with it at all.
"Lisa!" Lynn lightly reprimanded, "You can't just draw on my homework like that! Just because I wasn't gonna get the answer soon doesn't mean you get to…"
For the second time that minute, Lynn paused in mid-sentence and gawked at what Lisa had just left behind on her paper. Not only had Lisa not drawn random squiggles and lines all over her paper like she expected, she had written out what appeared to be the steps needed to solve the answer to the simplification of the square root of 32! The fact that Lynn couldn't know for sure wasn't the point of this…amazing discovery! Lisa Loud, age 1 year and 7 months, was able to read a fifth grade level math equation, figure out the steps to solve it, and write it out in concise terms that left Lynn's usual handwriting to shame.
"Did you just…did you…" Lynn had to be dreaming. This couldn't be real. It just couldn't. Lynn reached over to her arm and pinched herself, yelping a bit at the self-induced pain. So that was it…it wasn't a dream. It wasn't a figment of her imagination. It wasn't something that she could just keep to herself. She had to tell everyone that was still in the house. She just had to.
Scooping up Lisa in her arms, Lynn made a beeline for the stairs but only stopped when she got to the bottom step so she could shout and get her family's attention.
"MOM! LORI! YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT LISA JUST DID!"
A/N: And remember boys and girls, anyone can do math if they put their mind to it. It's so easy, a baby can do it! :D