Life in the Fast Lane
Summary: In which Butch is stuck in rush hour traffic with his girlfriend and her two sisters. Both of whom are in the back-seat, singing loudly to the radio. Meanwhile Butch struggles to keep his sanity intact, while Buttercup tries not to laugh at his distress.
Authors note: Based on my daily commute to college. What should be a ten-minute drive turns into an hour and a half commute thanks to all of the construction on the 401. These are my struggles.
The Powerpuff Girls do not belong to me, and as always they have human appendages, and are roughly in their early 20's.
Life in the Fast Lane song lyrics do not belong to me, and rightfully belong to The Eagles.
He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally pretty
She held him up, and he held her for ransom in the heart
of the cold, cold city
He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude
They said he was ruthless, they said he was crude
They had one thing in common, they were good in bed
She'd say, 'Faster, faster. The lights are turnin' red."
Life in the fast lane
Surely make you lose your mind, mm
Are you with me so far?
.
XxX
Butch grit his sharp canines in frustration as he slammed one hand on the car horn for the third time in under two minutes; letting the loud blaring of the Escalade's car horn cut through the air, voicing his displeasure, as the other hand raked through his thick mane of gelled black spikes before falling back into the plush leather driver's seat with an irritated groan.
Buttercup shot him a coy grin from the passenger's seat beside him, as she glanced over at the brutal male sitting on her left. "I don't think that honking the horn again is going to do anything. The poor guy in front of us is probably pissing his pants thanks to you."
"Well if the poor guy in front of us would move I wouldn't be laying on the horn in the first place." Butch growled out through clenched teeth, as his forest green eyes narrowed until they were slits. "We've been stuck here for two hours."
"An hour and forty-five." Buttercup corrected coolly as she glanced up at the clock on the dashboard. "But I get it, I'm getting pretty impatient myself." She admitted. "But seriously, the guy in the shitty Corolla can't move. I don't think anyone can."
She guested out of the car windshield to the sprawling high-way laid out before them. Miles and miles of cars were backed up for as far as the eye could see.
Townsville rush-hour traffic could be quite unforgiving if you had the misfortune of being stuck in it. Just like Butch was currently.
He stifled a groan the was barely heard over the screeching pop-song that was currently blasting out of the speakers in the Escalade's cabin. Butch closed his eyes for a moment before risking a look behind him.
There, sitting in the spacious interior of the Escalade, was Blossom and Bubbles, bouncing up and down in their respective seats as they sang along to the pop song that was on the radio.
It's not that their voices were bad. Oh no, quite the opposite actually, they had lovely voices (Though nowhere near as sexy as Buttercup's melodic feminine rasp in his opinion.) - It was just that he absolutely despised pop-music.
And combined with the fact that they were stuck in possibly the worst traffic backup in recent Townsville history - it was starting to make the dark haired man lose his grip on sanity.
It was odd enough that he had all three of the Utonium sisters in his car. Usually it was only Buttercup who would ride in the car with him – though he had driven Bubbles home a few times when she had stayed over late visiting his brother – and he was fairly certain that this was the first time that Blossom had ever been in his car.
He hadn't been expecting to pick all three of them up today. He had been going to grab Buttercup from her martial arts training; when he had gotten a call from Boomer asking if he could pick up Bubbles from cheer practice on his way back, as his own hockey practice was running late. Then not two minutes later, he had gotten a call from his slightly disgruntled sounding older brother, asking if he could also get Blossom from her figure-skating practice, though he hadn't offered an explanation as to why he couldn't come get her himself.
Reluctantly he had agreed, leading him into driving all over Townsville in order to collect all three of the super-powered woman. They had been on the way back to the girl's house (After taking a ten-minute detour to grab ice-cream, per Blossom's request) when they had gotten stuck in the town's infamous 5'oclock rush-hour traffic.
And they had been stuck in the same spot ever since.
Listening to pop music that was making his ears bleed, and possibly making his mental health slip.
That was the last time that he decided to be nice and let Bubbles pick the radio station.
Stupid brothers. He blamed them. This was their fault. If he lost his mind he knew who was at fault.
Butch felt a full body spasm run though him as his right eye twitched. A dangerous sign, signaling that the powerful meta-human was nearing his breaking point.
The music really wasn't helping the situation. Nor was the guy in the beat-up Corolla in front of them. Fucking rush-hour traffic…
The signs didn't go unnoticed by his ever watchful girlfriend, as Buttercup reached over to place her hand on his knee, squeezing it gently as she looked up to meet his gaze, having a wordless conversation with him.
You want me to tell them to stop?
Fuck yes. At least convince them to let me change the radio station. I'm about to lose my shit.
Can do babe.
Buttercup sent him a wink as she turned around to address her sisters. "Hey girls, you mind if I change the radio station? Butch is about to have an aneurysm." She cackled as Butch shot her an irritated glare, his hands tightening on the steering wheel as he struggled to keep what little remained of his self-control in check.
Blossom paused mid-tune as she shot him an apologetic look. "Oh I'm sorry Butch. I didn't realize that you didn't like pop-music."
"I fucking hate it." Butch muttered as Buttercup lightly shoved him, stifling a laugh as she reached over to change the radio station. Bubbles let out a sigh as she crossed her arms and glanced out the window. "Have we moved at all?"
"Nope. Still in the same spot as before." Butch informed her. "Get comfortable, because it looks like we're going to be here for a while."
"Are we in the fast-lane?" Blossom inquired gently. A quick look out the window confirmed Butch's suspicions.
"We're in the fast-lane." He confirmed, almost ready to laugh at the irony of the situation – Instead deciding to smash his head into the steering wheel, casing the horn to shriek loudly in response to his actions. He stayed like that for a moment before Buttercup pulled the disgruntled man off the horn.
"Stop it. The guy in the Corella is provably on the brink of a heart attack." She chided him as she continued to fiddle with the radio dial. "Can I just fly the car out of here?" Butch whined. "I can lift it easily. I've done it befor-"
"NO." Blossom scolded. "Buttercup did that before too, and she got into some trouble with the city council. Apparently flying overhead carrying an automotive vehicle is against some sort of bylaw that I was unaware of."
"It was worth it." Buttercup muttered as she flicked though the stations, filling the car with static momentarily. "They shortened the road down to one lane. No one was moving. I had to pee. I wasn't leaving the Escape behind. I improvised."
Butch let out a frustrated groan as he sat back, clasping his hands behind his head. Glancing at the clock on the Escalade's dash, he let a sarcastic chuckle escape his lips.
"Jesus Christ it's 6:30. We've been sitting in this spot for 2 and a half hours. We must have broken some sort of lame-ass record." He snorted. "Hey Sunshine, how's channel surfing going?"
"Yeah, yeah, give me a minute damn it. I'm trying to find a decent station."
Buttercup turned the dial quickly, searching for a classic rock and roll station, as her bright green eyes narrowed in concentration. Suddenly, a familiar tune reached her ears, and a triumphant smile broke out across her features as she sat back, humming along to the song.
Butch'sown forest green eyes narrowed as he listened to the song for a moment, before he locked eyes with the smirking Buttercup – the faintest hint of a grin spreading across his handsome features.
"No." He paused, "This isn't what I think it is, is it?"
Buttercup just grinned.
"He was a hard headed man. He was brutally handsome," She winked flirtatiously at him as she sang along to the words in her ever so sexy rasp, causing Butch's face to break out into a wicked grin.
"-and she was terminally pretty." He finished lowly, not breaking eye contact with her, as Blossom and Bubbles watched the exchange from the backseat in bewilderment.
"She held him up, and he held her for ransom in the heart of the cold, cold city." Butch continued as he began to tap out the beat on his knee.
"He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude. They said he was ruthless, they said he was crude." Buttercup continued as a mischievous glint entered her eye.
Butch only ginned as the line left Buttercup's lips. She was talking about him. Of course she was – he was the baddest boy of them all. Besides, that line rang true to him on so many different levels.
Blossom and Bubbles watched in fascination as the green counterparts bounced the song lyrics off of each other, both ginning at the other as they did so – a vast transition from earlier.
"Life in the fast lane Surely make you lose your mind. Life in the fast lane."
Butch pretended to play a rift on an air guitar as the song ended, causing Blossom and Bubbles clap and whistle good naturally in the backseat - more or less surprised by the fact that Butch could actually carry a tune, and actually sounded good. The raven haired adult turned to give a mock bow to the pink and blue clad sisters respectively, as he sunk back into his seat with a content sigh, feeling slightly more relaxed than before. Buttercup grinned at him, "Feeling better?" she asked.
Butch nodded, his shoulders relaxing slightly. "Yeah, a bit. That song's a classic. The Eagles knew how to make good shit."
He sighed before shifting to look back in front of him. "and traffic should have started to mov-" Only to pause mid-sentence as he stared out the windshield in shock.
Traffic hadn't moved.
They were still in the same spot as before.
The guy in the shitty Corolla was still in front of them.
But most importantly…
THEY HADN'T FUCKING MOVED.
Casting a frantic glance toward the clock on the dashboard, Butch felt his right eye start to spasm as the time read: 6:58pm.
"What. The fuck." Butch ground out as he gnashed his teeth together, seeing red. Three hours. They had been stuck there in the same spot for three hours. Unbelievable.
Bubbles peered out her window and gave Butch a timid smile. "Uh, maybe there's an accident…?"
"That's it." Butch snarled as he undid his seat-belt, before throwing open the driver's door and slamming it shut behind him.
"Butch, what are you doing?" Buttercup yelled as she went to undo her seat-beat as well. "Just stay in the car!" Butch yelled back, as he knocked on Bubbles's passenger window. "Blondie, Red – you both got your seat-belts on?"
"…Yes…?" Bubbles confirmed, "Butch I don't understand, what are you doing…?
"Just keep 'em on, and make sure that your gym bags are fastened down. I don't want Pinky's skates going through my windows."
Blossom's eye's widened as she pieced together what Butch was about to do. "No Butch don't! You'll get into trouble!" She cried frantically, as she reached into the back to find her skates. "Buttercup stop him!" She turned to her raven haired sister who simply shrugged in return.
"Eh, just let him. I don't want to be here anymore anyways. Besides – he's a RowdyRuff. He's never given a shit about the rules anyways."
"Fuck the rules." Came Butch's muffled response from outside the massive SUV, as he ducked down behind the back bumper. There was a moment of silence from outside, before the Escalade suddenly lurched off of the ground, tilting forward towards the front; causing Bubbles and Blossom to shriek in surprise as Buttercup laughed at their shocked expressions.
The front end of the car rose up off of the ground carefully, and seemingly hovered in the air for a brief moment before raising up farther off the ground and into the air - the clogged high-way below the car becoming smaller and smaller as the SUV moved farther away from the ground.
"Nobody move." Butch's muffled voice came from underneath the car, though the semi-open windows. "I don't want to lose my grip on my baby."
"He's crazy." Blossom muttered, shaking her head. "He's going to get into so much trouble with city council. He's lost his mind."
"Maybe." Buttercup agreed. "But you know Butch: he has no patience. He lives in the fast lane. And to be fair – so do I."
XxX
.
Life in the fast lane Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the fast lane.
Life in the fast lane everything all the time
Life in the fast lane.
Authors note: passive aggressive Butch is basically my life.
Good news: The worst of my mid-terms and exams are over for now so I have some down time until December hits. If you have an idea for a story PM me, I'll be happy to give my mind a break and write for a bit.
Thank you so much for reading and have yourselves a great day!
Mrs. RoseGold