Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. All rights go to Michael Patrick King and Whitney Cummings. In addition, I do not own Toot Braustein or Yakko.

For: Sour Waffles

2 Broke Girls And the Pop of Invasion (part two)

Everyone's eyes went wide in anticipation. There was a long drawn out pause before the next sentence.

"Max will you marry me?"

A wave of nausea suddenly bares a hit to Max. She leans on the table for support, but when Deke gets up to help her, she pukes all over the ring. The others' features become clouded with horrified and disgruntled reactions by the sight and feeling as if they are all about to hurl too. Caroline finally runs over to the help her.

"Where have you been?" Max asks, breathing heavy with each word.

Caroline coyly points in the direction of Oleg, Sophie, and Han. Max looks over at them waving awkwardly. She glances back over at her. "You knew about this?"

She lightly nods showing clear nervousness to which, in response, Max strides away before any of them could get a word in edgewise.

"Max, wait!" Deke calls, but she is already long up the path.

The two exhale, sitting down at the table. They glance over at where the rest of the group had been standing to encounter a puff of smoke, no doubt made by a hasty departure.

"That was a disaster," he breaths, then proceeding to retrieve wet wipes out of Caroline's purse. "Was it something I said?"

"That is a gorgeous ring, Deke. You did a great job," she sighs. "You know Max—" she pauses in action of trying to think of something quick – "she's always in a hurry to get to…where she's going." After she scowls, her head low, even displeased with her sad excuse herself.

"Great job? My girlfriend vomited—" he pauses to look down at the ring – "what looks like some type of salsa, all over it before she left!"

"Look, Max is not a fan of romance. She pukes on romance, literally."

Deke stands up. "I should probably go see if she's ok."

"Max, Max!"

Deke gazes around the perimeter before stealthily inching into the suite. Max is laying on their bed curled up in a mountain of blankets. Her head is barely peeking out and to one who did not know any better would say she looked like the abominable snowman, if he liked tropical climates.

"Max, are you ok?"

"It's not Max," she calls. "Max died with her dignity about ten minutes ago."

Deke slowly advances over and onto the bed beginning to gently brushing her hair. She closes her eyes for a beat; however once realization hits, they fly back open clearly trying to fight the tired feeling that lagged by, no thanks to the awful day.

"You still look amazing."

"No I don't. I feel like Toot Braunstein."

They chuckle for a moment then bring it back. Deke pulls out the, now sterilized, ring and hands it to Max.

"It's a beautiful ring, Deke, but I can't marry you."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm…"

Caroline walks in disrupting their conversation. She gives a relieved sigh. "Good, I found you guys. All of us are going to Bakaló. You two coming?"

"Actually, we were just in the middle –"

Max interrupts, "Yeah, we're going. Come on, Deke," she gets off the bed and hands him back the ring.

The two girls leave to join the gang while Deke puts the expensive item back into the sleek, handcrafted, red velvet home where it looks like it is not leaving anytime soon.

"Why do I get the feeling she doesn't want to marry me?"

Bakaló is located on a stunning patio type area with canopies all around to relax while you enjoy your wine. The waiter comes over right away decked out in a sleek black and white uniform.

"Their uniforms are better than ours," Caroline whispers to Max.

"I know," she nods. "Maybe we should quit the diner, move, and get jobs here."

"You're only saying that so you can drink the good liquor in the back all day."

"See this is why we're friends," Max smiles. "You just get me."

"Can I start you off with one of our fabulous starters?" the waitress, with a nametag that says "Hera", comes over and smiles so brightly one could have gotten blind.

"Yeah, may I go tinkle?" Sophie asks raising her hand. "I drank way too much of this complimentary tea."

"Oh, the tea is not complimentary," Hera gives a nervous laugh. "It is there to convenience you, but you still must pay for it."

"Uh-oh," Sophie whispers. "Could you just…?"

She points to the wall labeled restroom. "It is over there."

Sophie sprints down the hall.

"Just bring me some geranium," Max replies.

When the rest of them order and the server departs Caroline is the first one to open her mouth. The group notices and erupts in groans. "Don't forget, Max. Greek people drink moderately in a public setting."

Max simply rolls her eyes, however, Caroline chooses not to dwell. "I love this charming, upscale vibe. Look at all the art pieces, how pristine. We studied that specific piece in art appreciation class over in Italy way back when. They came out with all these fine works of art and we would comment on them. For instance, their brush strokes, mood, censorship. In addition, it was captivating; it shed light on the fact that galleries can much more than boring walk-around rooms. It is all not just for snotty people and tourists, you know?"

Caroline looks up and sees that none of them had been paying attention. They were all preoccupied by their menus. She sighs with a hint of offense, "Hello, I was talking."

"Maybe I shouldn't order the stuffed squid," Han says. "What is it tastes me back?"

"Oh, we're done with me," Caroline observes.

"Why not? You might finally get some action," Max quips not bothering to cover up her obvious emit to Caroline.

The others think the statement was quite hilarious except for the buzzkill who puts on a somber face. She opens her mouth open wide in shock and says, "I am not being embarrassed again. We are in a nice place. The people you surround yourself with reflects back on you."

"If that's the case we have got to stop hanging out. I don't want people thinking my pants are always in my crack."

Her face burns red while the group, once again, laughs at her expense.

"No more vulgar talk at the table."

"Then what are we supposed to talk about?" Oleg questions.

Just then, Sophie slides back into her seat next to Oleg with a content sigh. "I feel twenty pounds lighter! And my poop resembled Abraham Lincoln!"

"Absolutely not," the blonde whispers. "Sophie just go get more tea."

"Fine, I will!" she shouts, getting up. "Anything to get away from Yakko over there."

"Caroline, you need to relax," Max commands. "We're on vacation."

"I am relaxed!"

"You can't stop telling us what do for ten minutes," Oleg agrees with bellicose nods. "I am a grown man!"

"I may act like one, but I don't look like one," he wiggles his eyebrows.

The polish woman sits back down gracing them with her presence, tea in hand. "It's true and I should know because I see it every day. Sometimes twice."

"That's it!" Caroline shouts.

She forcefully gets up right at the same time the server comes with their food. The force of Caroline pushing her sends food flying into Max and Dekes' lap. The squid lands on the crotch of Hans' khakis and the sight of it causes him to release puke all over Dekes' pocket containing the ring.

"Oh no. I pulled a Max," Han sighs. "How will I ever live with the shame?"

"I mean, it's not a big deal," Sophie shrugs sitting down on the couch with the phone. "If the stripper has a leg cramp just tell her to, you know, put some ice on it. Ok, bye-bye now."

"I just don't get it," Max exhales from the bed.

"Well, you see," she starts, moving to sit next to her. "The stripper is for –"

Max cringes, "No, not that. Why would Deke want to marry me?"

"I can give you three good reasons. Yeah, you're hot, good in bed, and have gigantic nockers."

"What about my personality?"

"Yeah, there's the unimportant stuff too."

Max groans at Sophie and the latter speaks up again. "You can't help who you want to marry. I mean, look at Oleg and I. Me with my hot bod and Oleg with his…well, with his…"

"Yeah?"

"The point is love is love. You can't help it."

"That's actually super helpful Sophie, thanks."

"Yeah, well, I'm more than my hot bod."

Caroline salters in the room with an abnormally giant smile. "Hey, if Sophie's giving advice, I could really…"

"I'm sorry Caroline. Even I can't fix your pathetic self."

"Noted," she nods indignantly. "I have a date with Jayce anyway."

Max wags her eyebrows. "Is that the hot guy from the juice shop?"

"Yes," Caroline grins. "And he owns over half of Athens."

"Glamorous," Sophie adds.

"My mom was chased by police over half of Athens once. She also passed on the "evil eye".

"Why don't you want to marry Deke?" Caroline asks, suddenly. "I mean, he may be a giant goof, but he seems pretty serious about you. He even threatened that guard."

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just because I'm…"

Before Max could finish her though Oleg bursts into the door like a bat out of hell and slams, the door shut, dramatically, in a hurry.

"Has anyone seen my anaptíras?"

Max and Caroline are hanging outside on the two hammocks while Han and Deke are sitting beside them fanning them.

"A little more to the left," Caroline motions to Han. He shakes his head in annoyance, but still obliges. "That's it."

"Remind me why we're doing this again?" Han asks. "Because my arms are getting tired!"

"Well, we're tired."

"And stressed," Max adds with a flick.

"Why?" Han questions, irritably. "We had to carry all of those damn bags!"

He stops fanning to point over at the pile of bags, mostly Caroline's, which the two of them had to carry from shop to shop.

"Hey, I only have one out of the sixty seven," Max justifies.

"What? I couldn't decide," she explains.

"So, you just had to buy the whole damn store?"

"Don't over exaggerate, Max. It was more like one third of the store."

"Where is Oleg and Sophie?"

As if on cue Sophie struts in wearing her new shades with Oleg is behind her struggling to get the door open from the lack of hands carrying all of Sophies' baggage. He finally manages to get in the door and once in her drops all of the bags near the mountain of other ones.

"I can't feel my arms," Oleg complains.

"Why are you complaining?" Sophie asks. "I'm the one who had to do all the hard work."

"What hard work?"

"Choosing," she says with an obvious tone. "That's why I brought one in every color."

"We also had to stop forty different times for a photo op."

"What can I say? I look good everywhere," the polish woman brags.

"I'm getting a neck cramp," Han grimaces as he puts the fan down to grab his shoulder.

"What is this? National complain day?" Caroline asks with a hint of cynicism.

"Not to mention the child labor laws you just violated making Han do that," Max laughs.

"I don't need it!"

Han walks off, offended, while Deke puts down the fan as well. Max stops smiling to look at him wondering why he stopped. He starts, "I just have to know. Does it have anything to do with my penis? Because, in my defense, I've only been using the enargenexx for three days."

Max sighs as she gets up from the hammock. Everyone's eyes bore into her making the situation more uncomfortable than it already was.

"I can't marry you…"

"Yes?"

"I can't marry you because…"

"Yes?"

"I can't marry you because I'm…"

"Cut to the chase!" Caroline yells.

"I'm not good enough for you," she says all in one hurried breath before quickly running to the door and slamming it behind her to add effect.

"Awkward," Sophie whispers.

"Do I look good in this pose?" Sophie asks demonstrating. "Or this pose. Or maybe this one."

They all groan "yes" at the table with Max trying her best to fan away her nausea. Caroline gives her a comforting mother-like look, which Max replies with a weak smile clearly trying not to show her obvious disgust.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" the blonde asks, yet again. "Because you were out of there faster than Chris Cristie finding out someone ate the last of his purple bread."

"No."

"Well, I'm here for you."

"Why do you have to be such a girl?" Max contortions. "I told you I'm fine."

"Hey Max!" Sophie calls. "Where's your man toy? He sure is good with the camera!"

"He's back in the room packing."

"Oh yeah, we forgot," Oleg jumps up. "We have to pack up the rest of our butt beads."

"I don't even want to know," Caroline chokes over a gag from Max. "Just hurry back, ok? We need to stay on schedule!"

Han saunters over holding a taller woman's hand, wearing a smirk. "Hello. I just wanted to come over with my non-imaginary girlfriend."

Max chuckles. "How much is he paying you?"

"What?" Han yells with clear offense wrapped around his voice. "For your information; none!"

Han looks to Caroline for a brief moment, which gives the woman time to glance over at Max and whisper, "Fifty."

"Well, we best be going," Han smiles taking her hand. "Later lonely shrews!"

"I am shook."

"Me too. Where did that baby get fifty dollars?"

Caroline catches sight of Deke walking down with his suitcase and almost jumps out of her skin.

"Where's the fire?"

"Why don't you go get the waiter?" she suggests looking around the table in desperation before making a miraculous decision to pick up her fork. "My fork is dirty."

"You just got it," Max points out swiftly.

She hesitates then drops the fork on the ground as if it is hot. She picks it back up and hands it to Max. "See, dirty."

"Ok," Max says with uncertainty, rising. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Caroline bites. "I just wish I didn't have this dirty fork!"

She waits until Max is out of earshot to wave over Deke.

"Hey, I got my suitcase," he pauses. "Why are there butt beads all over the room?"

"Oleg and Sophie," Caroline explains. "Sit, take a load off. We can talk about anything. Your troubles, worries, concerns, the ring."

"I was thinking about…"

"Nonsense!" she laughs moving closer. "That ring was expensive. You can't just take it back."

Deke frowns, "I was thinking about of maybe asking again?"

He warily looks at Caroline for approval, but when she scoffs, he goes on. "Bad idea."

"Look, Max isn't like other girls," she reasons. "Wait for her to ask you."

"Are you sure?"

"No I'm not sure!" she yells. "But that's the thing about her. She's unpredictable."

"You're right!"

After Caroline gets Deke all hyped up, Max comes back with the waiter. "It is not easy flagging down a waiter in Greece if you don't speak Greek."

Caroline looks at him as a signal to speak words. On cue, he drops down to one knee once more holding the ring he suddenly produced from his right pocket. Max stares blankly when Deke starts to stall.

"Max we've been dating for a while now and I can't imagine farting in the subway and blaming it on other people with anyone else but you. Marry me."

Caroline starts to wale causing a pool of her tears to drip down her shirt. Still crying she grabs a napkin and starts to blow her nose to which they give no notice. Instead, they turn their focus back to the ring.

"If anything you're too good for me," Deke laughs. "Marry me."

"Of course I'll marry you, Smurf."

They all relax in the nice comfortable chairs of Dekes' private jet back to Williamsburg, Brooklyn somewhat reluctantly. The only reason Max was on that plane was that Deke was able to score her some bottles of geranium for her way home.

"I'm going to miss Greece," Caroline exhales while lustfully glancing out the window. "And Jayce."

"Am I the only one frightened that we're on a jet that is being flown by an infant?" Max asks, holding on tightly onto her bottles.

"He was super sweet and he gave me free juice," she continues. "I never got to say thank you."

"Didn't you two have sex?" Deke questions.

"Well, yeah."

"Then you already said thank you," Max grins.

"I am in love with tea!" Sophie suddenly exclaims pulling handfuls tea bags out of her purse. "I love it so much, I'm going to go home, put them in my bathtub, and bathe in it."

"Never thought I'd be jealous of tea," Oleg states. "And yet, here I am."

"I would have never worked out though," Caroline smiles as if she is stuck in an on-going time warp.

"Why?" Max asks. "Because you talk way too much?"

"No, because I'm just getting back on my feet with my super successful cupcake business now turned dessert bar and that's alright. There are plenty other fish in the sea."

"Yeah, but your mouth is like a spear gun."

"I know there's someone out there for me," she goes on.

"What about Andy?" Sophie suggests. "He was kind of hot. Yeah, but I'm not sure how he dealt with your big mouth flapping all the time."

"Candy Andy? He's married."

"So? My mom has been married seven times," Max interjects.

"That's true."

"You know, in Poland you can have up to three wives," Sophie nods. "Don't be so American."

"This is all very helpful, however, I am not from Poland and I am not a home wrecker. I'll find a guy."

"Better make sure he's deaf," Olegs' wife quips.

"It's good to be back!" Caroline exclaims walking into the diner the following day accompanied by Max.

"I agree," the brown haired woman smiles. "I've almost missed the spirits of the people who died here haunting this place."

"How was Mykonos?" Earl asks looking from his bills. "Is it as magical as I remember?"

"Look, Earl," Max beams holding up her hand. "Deke proposed."

"I'm taking that as a no," he shakes his head. "Nothing ruins your life more than marriage. I should know. My third wife took everything I had including the clothes off my back. The only she didn't take is something that's all mine; my good looks."

The girls give a warm smile to Earl before taking off their coats and crossing over to the kitchen. They put the coats on the counter prior to stepping in.

"Aw, Max. This is the first time you've been in the diner since you got engaged."

"You said that on the train," Max laughs. "And then six minutes later also on the train."

"I just thought I would be the first one of us to get married."

"I know. It is weird, but it's unexpected and I like that."

"Now I'm thinking that fortune teller was right. Romance is not in the cards for me, I'm going to die a horrible, no good, loveless life and be stuck with you, your husband, four kids, and Chestnut to grovel."

Max pats her friend in comfort. "You seem really tense," she takes out her go-to out of her pocket. "Would you like to borrow my travel flask?"

Total: $0