IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE. PLEASE READ.

So, it's been a very long time since I last updated. Lots of stuff happened IRL for me, and now that I got most of the pressing matters over and done with, this story can finally bump itself up on my priority/ to-do list. To anyone still reading this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really wasn't expecting to receive so many favorites and follows for this, and I'm quite flattered by the attention. Without them, I would never have had the motivation to keep this story going.

Now, to answer some reviews during the hiatus:

AUTHOR'S NOTES are there for a reason. In case anyone didn't bother to read the previous one, I already discussed the Ruby situation in my A/N for Chapter 2, and yes, I do plan on tackling her arc differently in future chapters.

Regarding Tsukune and Kaneki's defensive abilities- I always felt like the original manga didn't do a realistic job in terms of how Tsukune dealt with his injuries. Humans shouldn't be able to recover that quickly from being tossed and cut up from monsters, even if it was by accident. For this story, I'm taking a leaflet out of 'He Who Fights Monsters' from Hawker-748, who I believe has accurately described the power-levels and how a regular human would act in a monster school. I highly recommend it. It's a great read and it's also completed. No prior knowledge of R+V is needed to understand the plot. As for how I'm handling the power-levels of ghouls and monsters, please read the A/N of chapter 1. I'll admit that the power-leveling in this story is still fluctuating and can be up for debate, but hopefully, once I get around to the main plot, I'll get the hang of grounding this crossover world better.

Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter 11: Ghoul and Spiderwoman

Akashiya Moka had many expectations before coming to Yokai Academy.

When she first heard of a school made especially for monsters, Moka couldn't help but be skeptically curious. Such an attempt has never been done before, but she found herself warming to the idea regardless and enrolled the moment she was old enough to do so. After experiencing years of hardship and bullying in middle school from those horrible humans, Moka had been desperate to seize this newfound opportunity and start anew. She wanted to put that past behind her, make new friends, and experience that rose-tinted high school life she's told she would have.

More than anything, Moka wanted to be accepted by her peers. If she was to take her eldest sister's word for it, she would have no problem finding that due to her sweet personality, unparalleled beauty, and prestige as a vampire. After all, her peers were not those awful humans, who were completely ignorant of the true order of the world, but monsters who were also trying to fit in with everyone. They would be eager to make friends. Just like her.

At first, everything went as her sister predicted. Moka could sense numerous eyes on her wherever she went during orientation. She heard whispers of people commenting about her beauty and she met so many friendly upperclassmen that volunteered to guide her to her homeroom, only to result in a fight on who should do the task. Moka had discreetly left the scene with a sheepish smile, and eventually found her class on her own, albeit a few minutes late. Thankfully, her sensei was kind enough to let the tardiness pass, and Moka even found a desirable seat near the front.

Unfortunately, her good fortune ended abruptly when she unknowingly attracted Saizou's attention.

He had been rough with her, she recalled, her hand ghosting over the wrist the brutish monster had grabbed. The sudden force had caught the sealed vampire by surprise, and the motion had unintentionally triggered those dark memories she had desperately wanted to leave behind. She had yelled for help, pushed and shoved her attacker with all her might, but her efforts were futile. With her Rosario on, she might as well be a slight breeze pushing against a mountain. Her inner self had been just as alarmed, shouting out threats at deaf ears.

Worse, the same monsters who had been so welcoming and helpful became quiet and still, their faces turned away as they allowed the violence to unfold with passive stares. Moka almost burst into tears then, thinking that Yokai Academy was going to turn out just like her old school. Her expectations had been too high, and her dreams of being accepted were crushed to dust yet again.

Then, by some miracle, a loud voice intervened:

"Every one of you are cowards!"

Moka jolted, startled by the bold declaration, as she looked up and saw a white-haired boy with a distinct eyepatch look her way and pointed a finger at them, or more specifically, at Saizou.

"All of us like Akashiya Moka, right?" the albino continued. Moka thought his face looked familiar but couldn't remember why that was. "Isn't she our school's number one beauty? A beauty like that should be kept pure and shared with everyone!"

Oi, her inner self said, highly offended, does he think we are some piece of property to be divided up?! That low-life piece of trash should know his place-!

Moka yelped in pain as Saizou's grip on her tightened as he responded back, "You little shit, what do you-!"

"This man isn't worthy of monopolizing her affection!" the boy exclaimed, and his one visible eye narrowed and his tone dropped noticeably as his intentions were revealed. "Are you all going to stand around and let him do what he wants with our precious idol?! He's taking away our rights to her love! He may be strong, but even he can't handle all of us!"

Moka's eyes widened, her mouth agape as she finally understood what was going on. All the monsters, who had been content to be passive onlookers, were stirred into a frenzy by the albino's words. They were turning on her tormentor. She couldn't remember exactly what happened next, because once she felt Saizou's grip on her loosen, she broke free and bolted out of there as quick as her legs could carry her.

Once Moka entered the safe confines of her dorm room, she finally allowed herself to exhale. Her legs wobbled as she fell into a slump by the door. When she finally had time to recollect what just happened, she was in disbelief.

"He saved me," she said aloud, incredulous. "He chose to help me." Her inner self, on the other hand, had a different opinion.

You don't know that, her other self said skeptically. While it ended in our favor, his intentions are still unclear. He labeled us a piece of meat to be shared! He's likely some weakling who couldn't take down Saizou, and so he slyly roped the others into doing it for him. Someone that conniving can't be trusted.

Moka shook her head. "It doesn't matter if he had ulterior motives. He still helped me in the end, and I intend to find out who he is and thank him." Her other-self only sighed, for she knew that once Moka set her mind on something, she was going to commit to it no matter what. Akashiya Moka is a vampire, after all. It was in their nature to be driven and committed to their beliefs.

Well, if it's only to express our gratitude, then I suppose it should be fine, her other-self relented. We should always strive to clear all our debts.

Moka smiled, her mood lightening, "and after I thank him, I'll ask if he wants to be friends!"

F-friend-!? Did you not hear what I said?!

"I know you're worried," Moka placated, "but I told you – I want my time at Yokai Academy to be different. I want it to be special, and I don't want to go through it alone. Not like last time. If I don't reach out first, then nothing's going to change."

You could end up hurt, her other-self pointed out, I…I don't want to see you hurt again.

"I know," she said, "but this is my chance to make a new friend! I won't have that opportunity taken away because of what happened in the past. I won't let my fears stop me."

And that was what she did the next day. She had been pleasantly surprised that all the guys she encountered started to treat her with respect and displayed none of Saizou's rough and violent nature. Her inner self was equally taken aback by this newfound change, and Moka could tell she was wavering on her initial thoughts on her white-haired savior's intentions, especially when after she finally spotted him, the boy seemed to walk away even faster when she tried to get his attention.

That's odd, her other-self commented, right when her savior disappeared out of sight. For someone declaring us a 'precious idol', I thought he'd want to come talk to us like all these other admirers. Instead, it seems like he wants nothing to do with us.

"What? Why would he do that?" Moka said, genuinely confused.

I'm not sure, she admitted, but maybe…instead of us, his true target had been Saizou? A notorious thug like him must have enemies, and that boy could have been one of many. Now that he's dead, he has no reason to want to associate with us.

"T-that can't be…" Moka said, feeling crestfallen before she shook her head out of it. "No! I can't believe it! I'm sure he has other reasons for not wanting to see me. M-maybe he's embarrassed? Like he doesn't know how to face us after pulling that stunt?"

Maybe, she murmured.

Later, she was delighted to find out that the boy was in her homeroom. Her savior, Kaneki Ken, she found out from roll call, was seated in the back, which explained why he looked familiar, but she hadn't recognized him immediately since she hadn't paid any attention to any classmate other than those seated around her. She snuck glances at him, noting his unique features and the way he would absentmindedly stare out the window at times before focusing on jotting down notes.

He's very quiet, Moka thought, a complete contrast to how he acted yesterday. Her eyes also lingered a little longer on his eyepatch before turning away when Kaneki looked up. I wonder what happened to his eye, and I wonder what's his true form. Not many monsters I know of have white hair. Did he dye it?

When it was finally time for lunch, Moka sucked in a breath in anticipation. This was it, she thought. She was finally going to take that first step forward and it made her nervous. Her previous offers of friendship hadn't gone well, but she was hopeful it would be better this time.

When she finally approached him, it turned out Kaneki wasn't embarrassed of her, nor did he harbored any of those lustful intentions her other-self suspected him of.

He had hated her.

If you think you could fool me with your pretty looks like you've done with every other guy in this school, you've got another one coming, Moka recalled Kaneki snapping at her, questioning why she hadn't saved herself despite being the 'strong' vampire she was. His harsh rejection had broken down her fragile willpower to reach out and made her sob uncontrollably. Everything around her seemed to turn white, and she couldn't hear her other self's nor her other classmates' placating words or questions of why she was crying. In her grief, Moka had half a mind of giving up on Yokai Academy and going back home. If she couldn't make any friends- friends that truly cared for her wellbeing and not just for her looks – then she ought to try elsewhere. She was tired of being rejected, of being scorned of who she truly was. She didn't want to repeat her middle school experiences at Yokai Academy.

All that changed when Aono Tsukune came back.

"I came to apologize in Kaneki's stead," he said to her, causing her to look up at him with teary eyes. It was the nice boy Kaneki was talking with earlier. "It wasn't right of him to say such things to you…" He was interrupted by one of her adoring fans.

"What kind of half-assed apology is that?!" One of her male classmates said, sneering down at Tsukune with condescension.

"Kaneki Ken made our goddess cry? He needs to pay for that!" Another cried out. As others started to voice their complaints and opinions, something inside Moka snapped.

"Stop it!" she exclaimed in anger, her teary eyes flashing. "I-I'm not your goddess and it isn't Kaneki-san's fault! It's Saizou's, and if it weren't for Kaneki-san, none of you would have lifted a hand or bother to care about me!"

Her outburst had a noticeable impact on her fans, who suddenly grew quiet, and Moka took that chance to grab Tsukune's hand and walked the two of them out of the classroom before her supposed fans started to come up with their various excuses of why they didn't help her out. She didn't want to hear any of it, but she did, however, want to hear what Aono Tsukune has got to say.

She eventually got to know the whole story of why Kaneki Ken had stepped in to help her, and because of it, she would forever remember Tsukune's kindness and cherish his friendship. With his help, she was also able to clear any misunderstandings she had with Kaneki Ken shortly after the incident with Kurono Kurumu. She could tell right away that Kaneki didn't take her word for it, at least not at first, about her commitment to protect Aono Tsukune with her life. He had been wary of her, watching her every move whenever he thought she didn't notice, and despite how much she tried to put herself out there to have Kaneki trust her and treat her like he would Tsukune, his friend, he wouldn't let up.

She had brought up this concern with her other self, who only told her to continue and remain patient.

"You are sincere," her inner self said, "You have been trying hard to gain his trust, and even with only one eye open, that half-breed can at least see that much."

"Then why does he still treat me so coldly?" Moka pondered, "Even Yukari-san has managed to gain his affection shortly after meeting him." After all, whenever Tsukune was busy, Kaneki was always willing to indulge in the young witch's company, and she even caught them smiling and laughing together a few times. She's never seen Kaneki smile when it was just the two of them, however rare that situation was.

Don't worry so much, her inner self said. Whatever is holding Kaneki Ken back from accepting us may not have to do with us at all…in fact, I have a feeling it has to do with something else entirely."

"What makes you think that?" Moka said curiously.

I've been thinking back on the day you and Kaneki first spoke to each other, her inner self began, and some of the things he said…troubled me.

Moka smiled uneasily, "I'm sure Kaneki-san knows we're not like those vampires he accuses us of being anymore."

That's not what I meant, her inner self said quietly.

"Then what…?"

How did Kaneki Ken know that we're a vampire?

Moka frowned, now realizing why her other self was suddenly so uneasy. How did Kaneki know of her true form? It was only her second day at Yokai Academy and students weren't allowed to tell each other what their true forms were. So then how did Kaneki Ken, who had only just met her the other day, quickly conclude that she is a vampire, and say so without a doubt in his claim?

"M-maybe he's met one of my kind before?" Moka suggested. "He's hinted that he's had bad experiences with my kind, and since there aren't that many of us, maybe the one he met knew of me or our family."

Maybe, her other self said, but I think we should be just as wary of Kaneki Ken as he is of us. I have a feeling that he's hiding something.

"Kaneki-san isn't a bad person," Moka said, insistent. "He may have his secrets, but I don't believe those secrets would cause us any harm."

Moka, you need to be reasonable-!

"No," she said adamantly, "you don't understand! He cares about us too much to be…to be plotting something horrible behind our backs! Did you forget what happened after you fought against Ishigami-sensei?"

Moka remembered seeing how devastated Kaneki was after she informed him of Tsukune's condition after their encounter against Ishigami Hitomi. She remembered the immense guilt that appeared on the half-ghoul's face when he finally saw Tsukune lying unconsciously on the hospital bed. He had stumbled back, his visible eye wide with shock, and his breathing became labored as he slowly slumped down to take a seat beside Tsukune.

"I'm sorry," Moka overheard Kaneki say quietly while she stood by the door to let Kaneki have his moment alone with their mutual friend. "I'm so sorry…"

Her inner self almost sound ashamed. I remember.

"You see," Moka said softly after that reflection, "there must be another reason why Kaneki-san can't tell us everything, and it's not the ones you're insinuating!"

And what do you suppose is the real reason?

"I think….it might have something to do with his nightmares," she replied. "Tsukune-kun didn't say what they were about, and I don't know if he knows what they are either. Whatever skeletons Kaneki has in his closet must also be plaguing his heart, and it could also explain why he's not letting us get too close to him."

I see, her inner self said, yes, I am willing to accept that reasoning. It certainly fits Kaneki's character as we know him, but this is only guesswork, Moka. As much as we would like to believe in Kaneki Ken, he hasn't given US the benefit of the doubt. He's still holding us at a knife's edge.

"You're right," she agreed, before an idea came to her mind, allowing her to find her resolve to fix the matter. She stood up from her bed, closing the history book she had been studying from, her face firm with determination. "The semester is about to end, and I don't want this…this tension to continue any longer! I'll confront him about it." Her other self was surprised.

When?

"Um, tomorrow, I think?" Moka said, thinking it over some more. "I think during break would be best. That's the only time when we're all together. Finals are coming up, and everyone has been studying very hard." She recalled Kaneki telling them that he needed to study on his own and has made himself scarce recently. The half-ghoul was so studious, that bags were starting to appear under his bloodshot eyes, making him look very haggard and more worn out than usual. Moka was worried, and she wasn't the only one.

She hoped that Kaneki, whatever troubles he was facing, would overcome them and persevere. She also hoped, if their conversation went well, that Kaneki Ken would choose to overcome them with their help.

-o-

Contrary to Moka's wishes, a certain half-ghoul was doing all he could to overcome his obstacles on his own.

Kaneki Ken clenched his jaw tightly, his grey eye scanning each article he came across briskly on his laptop. There was a stack of old newspapers beside him, which wasn't much, surprisingly, but they were the only ones he was able to procure from Nekonome-sensei. Apparently, after his exchange with the cat lady, Kaneki learned that the Public Safety Commission had some beef against the Newspaper Club, who had been too obvious of their distaste against the corrupt organization last year. The members had been accused of slander and 'hindering the order and peace of Yokai Academy', and many were imprisoned unjustly for stating the truth. In turn, many members decided to quit out of fear for their lives and reputation. When Kaneki asked her how the current club was doing, Nekonome-sensei had sighed detachedly and informed him how the Newspaper Club had only one member left, a 'Morioka-san', and if they didn't get any new members next semester, the club would be forced to shut down.

The half-ghoul couldn't help but sympathize with the club's dire situation, and after offering his condolences, Kaneki generalized his dilemma- while omitting sensitive details- against the Commission and how he would like her help in gathering information and potential witnesses. Even without knowing everything, Nekonome-sensei was more than willing to help him out, and went as far as giving him scanned copies of the original newspapers and promising to pass on his inquiry to Morioka.

From there, Kaneki spent the entire day chasing after possible witnesses from what he read from the newspapers, but the task proved troublesome. Unfortunately, since many of these witnesses were also victims of aggressive violence, Kaneki had to first reassure these monsters that he meant no harm, being the 'infamous ice prince' and all. He could barely get a sniffle out of the timid ones, and the ones who did talk, only parroted back what he wanted to hear, which made their testimony unreliable. He did manage to get one girl to speak up, however, but that was only because the girl was a fan of his, and he had to comply with shaking her hand and offering a hug (she had wanted a kiss, but the half-ghoul wasn't willing to go that far to get her agreement).

Kaneki shivered at the reminder, and reached for his thermos, hoping the fresh taste of black coffee would wash away unwanted thoughts while making sure he stayed awake and alert. He was currently in one of the library's study rooms, which he had booked for his own use. It has passed midnight, and starting yesterday, the library's after hours have extended due to upcoming finals. Through the glass outside his room, Kaneki noticed a couple students using the computers, and there was also a group studying together at a large round table.

If any of his friends asked why he was up so late studying in the library and not in his and Tsukune's dorm room, then Kaneki would simply say that he didn't want to disturb Tsukune's sleep. The human was always tired after his physical training, and thus, couldn't stay up as late these days, and he was sure Tsukune would agree. Thanks to the convenient timing, his friends would also assume that Kaneki was studying for finals instead of investigating the Commission. Although tonight would only be his second consecutive all-nighter, Kaneki could feel his weariness take a toll on him, making him gulp down another mouthful of coffee.

Honestly, he felt stressed, and his growing list of uncertainties didn't help matters. The witnesses he managed to get may still back out last minute, and after going over Kuyou's student profile, the half-ghoul wondered if his strength would be enough against a legendary spirit fox, an S-Class monster capable of creating fox-fire from their many tails. Kaneki recalled staring at the screen in disbelief, briefly contemplated if unicorns and fairies were real too, before snapping back into a work frenzy. So far, he has yet to go over a third of the Commission's profiles with only a day left to compile enough evidence and prepare to win a fight against them on his own if it came down to it. His friends getting involved was not an option, and Kaneki didn't want to rely on the Chairman any more than he already had. He already owed him for telling him about Hide, and that was enough of a debt.

He had to do this alone. It was better that way. For him…and for everyone else.

Kaneki was so engrossed with his mental thoughts that when the door to his study room opened abruptly, the half-ghoul flinched—

"Fancy seeing you here so late, Kaneki Ken," the unwelcomed guest said, and without invitation, she boldly seated herself in one of the chairs facing him, crossing her legs and folding her arms in front of her. Her dark eyes narrowed at the scattered newspapers Kaneki had spread all over the table, before they looked up at the glowering albino, who was less than pleased by her intrusion. "I see you're in the middle of…research."

"Keito," Kaneki hissed, his body tensing at the sight of Kuyou's lieutenant, the Commission's second in command. "What do you want?"

Keito smirked, brushing back loose strands of her violet hair before she spoke. "Let's just say I decided to come check on you after I was informed of your wild goose chase yesterday."

Mentally, Kaneki cursed at himself for not being discreet in tracking down those witnesses. He should have realized that the Commission might have eyes among the student body, or how some of them might have wandered by off duty while he pried for answers. He was careless, and that mistake was going to cost him unless he figured out what Keito intended to do and how he could counter it before the news reached Kuyou, who could easily cut the deadline short.

Kaneki swallowed uncomfortably, and he fought the urge to gather up the newspapers and keep them out of Keito's sight, despite it being too late. He forced himself to take a deep breath, exhaling before he was calm enough to see reason. "Can you blame me for looking? I like to know what I'm getting into before I commit."

Instead of answering, Keito reached over and took one of the newspapers. She barely glanced at it before she ripped the article to pieces, littering them on the floor. Her piercing violet eyes never strayed from Kaneki's, like they were daring him to stop her.

"It appears I showed up at the right time," Keito began, a smile emerging once more. "I am more than willing to answer any questions a potential recruit would have about the Public Safety Commission. I'm sure asking an officer like myself beats scurrying around for facts from unreliable sources, particularly if its from that Newspaper Club," she said with malice, before reaching over and shutting his laptop closed. "So instead of wasting time on your pointless investigation, Kaneki Ken, how about you make things easier for yourself, and… just ask?"

Kaneki bristled at her audacity. "You barge in here, at a time way past work hours, just to answer questions from a possible recruit?"

"We take our jobs seriously," Keito replied. "The Commission represents Yokai Academy after all. If we were not dedicated in ensuring peace and order, this Academy would not have held itself together for so long."

"Peace and order," Kaneki echoed, "and what do those words mean to you, Keito? How do you envision them?"

"Are they not self-explanatory?"

"I thought so once," Kaneki admitted, propping an arm up so his chin rested against his palm, "but now…I'm not so sure."

He hasn't been sure since the first time he met Touka, when he was ignorant of ghouls and the hardships they faced under the 'peace' that was exclusive to humans. And just when Kaneki thought he had a grasp of what they meant, his encounter with Amon shattered that certainty. How could he ignore what that investigator said about ghouls? He knew ghouls couldn't help what they eat, but he couldn't deny how some ghouls, like Rize, killed for pleasure. On the other hand, he could not forget the way Ryouko died so brutally for the sake of her daughter, Hinami. No matter which race he spoke to, their idea of what 'peace' and 'order' meant felt skewed by their narrowed perspectives.

"You are a single person who has two worlds in which to belong," Yoshimura had said to him.

Two worlds to belong, Kaneki thought, but how could I belong to them when I'm still struggling to understand either of them? What if they were right? What if the worlds are better off divided?

It was hard enough thinking of a way to bring order and peace between humans and ghouls, and now that Kaneki has seen Yokai Academy and its diverse inhabitants…was unity even possible? The Chairman thought it was, but his method of doing so was questionable at best.

Keito folded her arms, and answered, "You see this Academy for what it is, don't you? That's the only reason I could think of that earned you Kuyou's attention." Kaneki frowned, not expecting this reveal, but he also didn't deny it. "Sure, some of us come here with the intent to learn, to blend in with those weak humans, but in the grand scheme of things? It's teaching us how to stay in line. You don't follow the rules, then you get killed. It's a rehabilitation center, and only those with power are put in charge."

She lifted another newspaper and held it up to his face. "Then, there are these idealistic fools who try to challenge the rules. They spend hours upon hours trying to fight this natural system for the sake of equality, not once realizing that equality has its own consequences. What happens if you suddenly give a weakling too much authority, Kaneki Ken?"

The question made Kaneki pause for a moment, thinking it over. The inevitable answer that appeared in his head made his jaw clench. "They would be overwhelmed."

"Exactly," Keito said, pleased, "and because they are weak, and they have spent their lives serving others, how could they suddenly have the means to hold command? Whether it's a physical or mental deficiency it doesn't matter- the point is, expecting a weakling to hold the same amount of influence as the strong is preposterous. They would not earn respect, only scorn, and in the end, their incapability would reveal itself and they would be forced to either forsake their duties or try to push them onto someone who could handle it in a frivolous attempt to maintain their 'authority'."

Kaneki, who once had been a 'weakling' himself, argued, "These 'weaklings' you speak of are incompetent because they were not given their share of resources. They cannot earn experience and the means if the ones in charge strip away the opportunities and crush their attempts to change their situation."

"Then their attempts were not strong enough," Keito said simply, "if they really want to change their situation, then they need to try harder. They can't achieve their rags-to-riches by sitting around and waiting for an opportunity to come to them. They need to seek it out. While I do appreciate hard-workers, being hardworking won't get anyone anywhere if they're naturally born weak. It might improve their circumstances, but that is as far as they can go.

"You asked me what my vision of peace and order was, Kaneki Ken, and I'll tell you," Keito said, while tossing the newspaper over her shoulder, "I believe in the current hierarchy, where the strong and powerful dominates over the weak. It's the natural order of things, and it should stay that way. If everyone followed this order, then there would be no disputes, and thus, there would be peace."

"So, if those in power are holding the weak accountable," Kaneki started, "then who's keeping the strong in check?" He decided to stop humoring her and go for the throat. "Who's keeping your Commission accountable, Keito? Because the peace and order I envision does not excuse bribes and imprisonment without trial, and I'm sure the Chairman agrees with me." Keito narrowed her eyes at his blatant accusation.

"I see you've been poisoned by that slanderous club," she hissed. "Whatever the Commission decides to do is approved by the Chairman, and whatever claims you've heard of us is baseless and formed by those weaklings, who, as I've said, are likely supporters of equality who hasn't done a damn thing to change their situations-!"

"It's not baseless if there's proof," Kaneki countered, standing up. Keito remained seated, but he noticed her eye twitch. "You keep on saying that the Chairman approves of your actions, but from what I heard, the Public Safety Commission has fallen very far from its core mission since its founding-!"

"Our mission is to maintain the safety of Yokai Academy!" Keito exclaimed angrily, standing up to face him. "We might have had to make some examples from time to time to enforce our authority! Fear is a powerful tool to use, as I'm sure you're aware when you decided to make an example out of that succubus-!"

"I am not like you!" Kaneki retorted, his eye prickling under his eyepatch. He was furious; angry that Keito had decided to come bother him, to remind him of the cruel world they lived in, of how he was like right after he escaped Aogiri. The Chairman had already pointed out that comparison to him and he didn't need to hear that shrivel again from a monster like her. Keito looked just as riled up, and was about to break into her monster form, a spider woman he recalled, for something was moving under her dark uniform, and her face was starting to show cracks…

Kaneki almost wanted Keito to attack him, to make the first move- it would certainly explain away her disappearance better- until the tension was broken when a timid (but stern) voice said, "I-I need you two to quiet down. You are disturbing the other students."

Kaneki turned his gaze and noticed the flustered librarian at the door. Outside, the students who had been studying were gathered around to see what the commotion was about, and one of them stepped back and hid when he caught their stare. Keito glared at him, but her stance relaxed when she answered.

"My business here is done," she said, her stern look never left his face, "I assume you've made your decision then? About the invite?" He nodded firmly. "What a pity. You would have made a fine officer, Kaneki Ken."

"If you and the rest of the Commission did exactly what it advertised, then I would have accepted," he admitted. "Your mission is difficult to achieve and it's deserving of admiration, but I can't accept your methods. The Commission needs to be reformed to how it was back then, and I'll make sure that happens." Keito widened her eyes, taken aback by his boldness, before she shook her head.

"So, you're another idealistic fool," she said sardonically, "who would have thought."

With another sway of her hair, Keito turned her back at the half-ghoul, whose face was partially covered in shadow, and continued walking. He heard the front doors of the library open and close abruptly, and the atmosphere slowly returned to normal. Kaneki sat down in his chair, releasing an exasperated sigh. He lifted a hand to wipe away the cold sweat on his face before looking down at his laptop.

"An idealistic fool, huh?" Kaneki murmured, the phrase bringing back memories he wished he could leave behind. He shook his head out of those troubling thoughts, and absentmindedly reached for his thermos to take another gulp, only to realize it was empty.

"I need more coffee…"

-o-

The next day, Kaneki was approached by Moka at the beginning of break.

"There's something I want to talk to you about, Kaneki-san," the vampire said quietly, "preferably just the two of us." Her request made Kaneki frown, wondering if Moka was facing some difficulty he was unaware of, and he quickly agreed to her request.

Tsukune, who was with them, had a look of concern. "Moka-san?"

Moka only smiled, "Don't worry, Tsukune-kun! Kaneki-san and I just have some um, matters we need to clarify with each other. We'll be right back."

Matters? Kaneki thought. What is she talking about…?

Tsukune nodded, understanding. "Okay."

When the two of the them were finally alone, sitting across each other in one of the empty classrooms, Moka started, "How are you, Kaneki-san?" Noticing his confusion, she specified, "after the match with my other self? I remember she had injured you very badly."

Kaneki seemed to understand her earlier hesitation. "I'm alright, Moka-san. After I had enough to eat, my wounds healed very quickly."

"Oh," Moka said, looking surprised, "so you're just like us – vampires, I mean. Our healing also depends on how much blood we ingest. We don't necessarily need blood to heal, but it does help us recover more quickly."

"You're right," Kaneki confirmed, "I'm fine now. I hardly feel any different than before our match, so don't let that worry you." Moka smiled lightly, but Kaneki could tell she still looked uneasy. "Is that all you want to talk to me about, Moka-san?" he prodded.

"No…" Moka replied, shifting in her seat awkwardly. She glanced down, staring down at her folded hands on her lap, her skin feeling clammy. "That's not it."

"Moka-san." She looked up and she was surprised to see Kaneki give her a look of worry, just like the ones he gave to Tsukune and Yukari. She also couldn't help but notice how bloodshot his visible eye was, and the tell-tale sign of a restless bag forming underneath. "Is something troubling you? Is that why you want to speak to me alone? Do you need my help?"

Moka's green eyes widened, momentarily stunned. She had thought Kaneki didn't care about her, treated her more coldly and more distant than the others. Yet here he was, offering his help without having to know the details of the situation. Not even some of her family was willing to go that far. She swallowed heavily, now feeling ashamed of doubting one of her true friends.

Even so, she still needed to go through with this. "I'm sorry, Kaneki-san."

"What?"

"I came to speak to you about your intentions towards me," Moka answered, struggling to hold his gaze. "I always knew you were wary around me – around us – ever since I found out about Tsukune-kun. It seemed like no matter what I did, I couldn't reach that standard you were looking for in order to gain your trust. I doubted your sincerity, Kaneki-san, and that's why I apologize."

"You thought I didn't care about you," he reiterated, and seeing Moka nod back made Kaneki feel guilty. While it was true that he was wary around her in the beginning, her actions to protect Tsukune against Hitomi Ishigami had helped Kaneki see Moka in a better light.

Since the moment he saw her, Kaneki had been unfair to Akashiya Moka. His horrific experiences with Rize had clouded his judgment, and he had spoken harshly to her when they first met each other. It took a long time for him to accept Moka for who she is, and not what she reminded him of. Moka wasn't wrong when she thought she couldn't reach his standard.

That thought made him ashamed. Who was he to set up standards? The authority he received from the Chairman did not involve him judging which monsters were better or worse in his eyes. It did not involve him demeaning other living beings to make him feel superior. That would make him no different from Yamori and the Public Safety Commission.

"Kaneki-san," Moka's soft voice unknowingly released the half-ghouls from his troubling thoughts. "I know you care about us. I can see that now, should have seen it a while ago. But please, know that we also care about you too, Kaneki-san."

She lifted a hand to wrap around his, her touch warm against his cold skin. The comforting gesture almost made him flinch, and he suddenly couldn't meet her eyes.

"I know about your nightmares," she confessed. "Tsukune-kun told me about them during our date. He didn't want to betray your trust – I pushed him to tell me, because I noticed how distracted he was during the whole time we were together. But I easily forgave him because he did it out of worry for you, Kaneki-san."

"I know," he said quietly, still not meeting her gaze. His white bangs obscured his expression as he leaned back. "Tsukune-kun told me about it." He had proceeded to snap at Tsukune to mind his own damn business, and forcibly put an end to that discussion.

Now, Moka was trying to bring up that sensitive topic again, and Kaneki didn't know if he had the gall to snap at her too, not after realizing how unfairly he treated her.

You don't give me the chance to help you! Tsukune had accused, and he was right, unfortunately.

"How much did Tsukune-kun tell you?" he inquired carefully, already planning what he was going to say next. He finally looked up and seeing Moka's eyes furrow with genuine concern pained him.

I don't deserve your kindness.

Moka hesitated, "Not much, only that it has happened twice, and that during the second time, he had heard you crying in your sleep."

Kaneki sighed, wasn't that everything Tsukune knew about his trauma? "I see."

"Please, Kaneki-san," Moka pleaded, squeezing his hand a bit more, "don't shut us out. Let us help you."

Help me, huh? He thought. He seriously doubted their capability to help him. Sure, they could offer him a shoulder to cry on, and other similar therapeutic solutions, and that may be enough for some people. Kaneki couldn't deny that having a support system could help him heal. He had experienced that healing from Hide, and he didn't doubt that both Tsukune and Moka's ability to fulfill that role, except….

They don't realize I'm already a broken man, Kaneki thought ruefully. They underestimated the depth of his trauma, the tragedy that was his life. Having a support system was about as good as someone putting a band-aid and disinfectant on a bruise or scrape, and given time, those injuries would eventually vanish. Providing a support system to a broken man like him, however, was like someone trying to stitch back a human's amputated arm. Futile and meaningless.

Even so…

"Kaneki-san," Moka said, her hand still not letting go of his, and the earnest plea he heard in her voice made the half-ghoul waver.

I'm so tired of all this, Kaneki thought, feeling that familiar wariness weigh on him. He placed a palm against his forehead and briefly closed his eyes as he tried to keep his breathing steady. I…I want to feel some RELIEF. Is that so much to ask? I also owe Moka-san an explanation at least.

"Moka-san, do you know why I was so harsh with you that day?" he finally uttered. "It wasn't because you were a vampire. It was because you reminded me of someone I wish I could forget.

"There was a woman…a very beautiful woman I saw often at a coffee shop I frequented in the human world," he said wistfully. "She was the kind of woman that always drew eyes, the kind that you can't help but notice whenever she is in the room. Like so many others, I was enamored by her. By her beauty, and then by our shared interests. I'm a bookworm. I love to read, and this…woman I fell for also loved to read the same books I did. It turned out that she also noticed me, and we started to get to know each other through our literary discussions. Eventually, when I finally had the courage to ask her out, she said yes.

"I was so excited," he said, giving a shaky laugh while Moka listened, not daring to interrupt. "I spent all night preparing, reading up on everything I can to make the best impression, to give her the best date she could ever ask for. I even rehearsed what I was going to say, like how to deliver some corny jokes I got online.

"For the most part, the date went well," Kaneki recalled, "We listened to each other talk, and we had a good time. Then, it was time to part ways. I was going to leave first and call her back later to discuss our plans for the next date, but then she suggested that I walk her back home. It was already dark, and it was dangerous for a young girl to travel by herself in Tokyo, she said. I agreed, and like a lovesick fool, I followed her into a dark and unfamiliar alley. It was just the two of us, and we were walking past a construction site when she turned to me and…"

He stumbled back, gasping in pain as blood continuously flowed out of his bitten shoulder. His mind was in a panic, trying to make sense of this horrific situation spiraling out of his control as the woman he fell for revealed her bloody kagune and approached him with a pair of predatory eyes.

"Kaneki-san~," Rize said his name playfully, a sadistic smile emerging, "do you know there's something I like even more than reading? Know what that is?"

He couldn't move, the pain only seemed to intensify as each second past.

"It's pulling all the organs out of someone who isn't trying to run away from me!" she cried ecstatically while Kaneki could only watch in horror as her body shook in excitement, the sound of her laughter still haunting his ears…

"…I didn't understand what was happening," Kaneki said, his eyes glazed over as he continued to narrate his past with vivid imagery. "I was too afraid at the time to really take it all in. I was hurt, and there was so much blood, but more than that, I felt betrayed. I was finally happy," he felt his voice crack as he said it, "for once in my life, everything was going the way I wanted it to, only to find out my 'happy ending' is only the prelude to a tragedy."

He paused when Moka reached over and grasped his hand more tightly, as if to comfort him. Kaneki glanced at her face, noticing how her green eyes were glistening, like she was on the verge of tears, and the realization unsettled him. The half-ghoul looked away, swallowing uncomfortably before he continued.

"I later found out that she was known as the 'Binge Eater', a notorious ghoul who targeted boys like me, young, naïve, and foolish," Kaneki reprimanded himself, his voice stern with anger and regret. "I should have died that night, would have died if I…I didn't receive certain treatment," he said vaguely, not ready to disclose that information yet. "The life I had before that night is gone, and even now I still haven't gotten over it. I experience night terrors, I always make sure to have my guard up whenever I'm alone, and whenever I'm reminded of that incident, I can't help but lash out.

"And that's where you come in, Moka-san," he whispered as she let go of him and faced him properly, "you're a very beautiful girl," his compliment made the vampire blush, "I was curious about you after Tsukune-kun insisted on helping you out, but when I found out you were a vampire," Kaneki looked away from Moka in shame, "I couldn't help but think…"

"You thought I was like her," Moka finally spoke up, understanding his plight, "that I would use my beauty and pretend to be weak like this…'Binge Eater' so I could trick others to get my blood."

"Yes," Kaneki confirmed, and slowly he got up from his chair and bowed his head. He heard Moka gasp in surprise. "I want to apologize for my behavior towards you that day. I was cruel and unfair to you, and I even made you cry. I'm…sorry, that I made you feel inadequate or make you feel like you had to prove yourself to me. It was wrong of me to expect it out of you."

Kaneki didn't expect anything from Moka. He knew his actions towards her in the beginning was uncalled for, and Moka may need time to process everything he told her just now before she was ready, if she ever would. In the past, back when he was still human, it was common for Kaneki to quickly apologize for slights so small even Hide had got fed up with him about it. After he accepted his ghoul nature, however, Kaneki couldn't recall ever sacrificing his so-called superior beliefs, much less apologize, for what he knew was wrong. He was the 'strong', after all. Why should the strong care about what the weak thought? Since he was strong, he must be in the right, and the moment he doubted himself, he would become weak, like he used to be.

This philosophy only started to show its cracks after he attacked Banjou. No matter if he was human or ghoul, Kaneki always valued the well-being of those he cared about. They were all he had, and he'd be damned if he ever tried to justify hurting his friends just to soothe his arrogance. Banjou was weaker than him, and according to his new ideals, wouldn't that mean it was his fault for getting hurt by him? The glaring contradiction made Kaneki hesitate and start searching within himself of how he should live and what he believed. After he broke up his group, Kaneki spent a lot of time alone to contemplate this inner crisis and has yet to reach a satisfying solution.

Now, with his head bowed towards the young vampire, Kaneki realized this highly submissive act did not make him feel weak, strangely, but it did make him afraid. He suddenly recalled the hurtful words (warnings) from the Rize in his nightmares. The ones that told him that no one would be able to accept him, not without getting hurt. It would be easier for them to reject him, a cowardly weakling that couldn't hold on to anything, and the reminder made Kaneki ashamed of asking for forgiveness.

However, those ill feelings and doubts soon vanished when he heard what Moka said next:

"I forgive you," Moka said softly, causing the half-ghoul to look up in shock, not expecting her to answer him so quickly and with such resolution. He couldn't help but stiffen as the vampire got up and wrapped her arms around his neck, her body warm against his.

Kaneki started, "Moka-san…"

"Why do you look so surprised, Kaneki-san?" she said quietly, and Kaneki couldn't help but notice how sad she sounded. "Did you really believe I wouldn't forgive you?"

Kaneki flinched at her sharp observation, and while he struggled to find the right words, Moka continued, her hold not loosening around him.

"I don't know what your life was like before we met at Yokai Academy, Kaneki-san," Moka murmured against his ear, "I don't know anything about your family, your friends, or any acquaintances you may have. I don't know what experiences you made out there, moments of happiness and sadness you endured that has shaped you into who you are now. I don't know anything about what you may or may not believe, and what goals you may have we graduate from Yokai Academy. I don't know how and why any of these aspects I mentioned made you think," he heard Moka's voice shake, "that you are somehow not deserving of forgiveness."

Kaneki was silent, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't uncomfortable with Moka forgiving him. Did Moka not understand the gravity of his offense towards her? Moka is a pureblood vampire. He was certain vampires had their own similar outlook of how the strong perceived the weak, if his research was anything to go by. Perhaps it was due of her naivety – Moka was still a young girl who spent most her life sheltered in her home. Or maybe Moka didn't follow what her kind believed. Either way, she and Tsukune were both too kind and sympathetic for their own good. Just like he was.

His jaw clenched at the thought.

"I don't know any of that, and I'm not forcing you to share it all. We all have our regrets and coping mechanisms, but even so, I know that I will stand by you, Kaneki-san," Moka said with determination, finally letting go of him to face him properly. She gave him a bright smile, so warm and sincere that it left Kaneki shaking. "Whether you need someone to talk to, someone to provide a helping hand, or if you would just like to train and eat together – just know that you can rely on me."

After hearing her offer, Kaneki couldn't keep silent any longer. "Moka-san, I appreciate what you are offering. I'm…grateful, to hear you say that."

But I CAN'T let you and the others get dragged into my problems, he thought, thinking back to his own group. Tsukiyama, Banjou, and Hinami had all trusted him as their leader, to know what to do, and now? Here he was, hiding away like a selfish coward while their whereabouts remained unknown to him. Oh, Kaneki knew he could always ask the Chairman to find out, just like he had done with Hide, but he was too afraid of the inevitable responsibility and guilt that would come from learning that information.

"You look exhausted," Moka suddenly said, her lips tightening into a thin line, looking very concerned. "Tsukune-kun told us you've been gone for the past two nights, studying in the library."

Kaneki tensed, immediately noticing the suspicious undertone belying her casual inquiry. "Finals are coming up." He struggled to keep his hands away from his chin. He was telling the truth, he reassured himself, and he forced a convincing smile, his tone deceptively light, "I can't let Yukari-san get first place all by herself. I'm sure she would like some company on that pedestal."

Thankfully, Moka didn't notice anything off, when she replied with a giggle, "That's so kind of you, Kaneki-san, but don't leave me out! I'm also going to aim for first place, and I expect to see you and Yukari-san there with me!"

"It's a promise then," Kaneki said, drawing away from the vampire. His heart seemed to twist in pain as he turned his back to her and towards the door, his mind clear on what needed to be done. "There's someone I need to meet before we return to homeroom, Moka-san, so I'll be leaving first. Please don't hesitate to rely on me when you need to, Moka-san."

Moka nodded with a smile, "I know. I'll see you later, Kaneki-san."

Without further ado, the white-haired ghoul excused himself and left the classroom. Moka still lingered a bit, thinking back what Kaneki had shared with her, and her smile quickly slipped away and the light in her eyes turned downcast. She had confronted Kaneki hoping to clear up any distrust and misunderstandings they had, only to come out with even more worries.

Oh Kaneki, she thought sadly. She's never felt this…this helpless before. She's never met someone who was betrayed and hurt so deeply out of love before, and this new obstacle left her stumped. This wasn't a situation that she could fight head-on with her fists and abilities after all. Something that could be defeated by physical strength alone.

Was this what Tsukune felt when he found out? Did he even know what happened in Kaneki's past? Seeing Kaneki hesitate so much and not look her in the eyes suggested that he likely did not share his traumatic past with not just Tsukune, but anyone else before. Moka pondered as she absentmindedly paced around the empty classroom. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she couldn't help but flinch when a voice disrupted the serene atmosphere.

"So, the infamous Ice Prince of Yokai Academy isn't as strong as he appears." A flashy dark-haired senior walked in the classroom as Moka whipped around to face him, her eyes narrowing at his intrusion. "Who knew that the reason behind his cold exterior is being spurned by an old flame? I expected many things, but not for Kaneki Ken to be walking classic cliché."

Moka gritted her teeth at the eavesdropper. "Who are you?"

"Oh my, where are my manners?" The upperclassman said, walking a few steps closer to where she stood, "The name's Ginei Morioka, president of the one and only Newspaper Club, but feel free to call me Gin, Akashiya Moka."

"What do you want, Morioka-san?" Moka said tightly, trying to keep her nerves at bay as the senior continued to step into her comfort zone, intentionally backing her to the wall.

The older student noticed her unease, and casually grinned, "No need to be so defensive, Moka-chan. I would never try something so untoward with such a beautiful lady." Moka didn't relax, her hands now clenched into fists. "What I want, is for you to obtain something of mine that your boyfriend had snatched from me." *

Moka blushed despite the situation, "K-Kaneki-san isn't-!"

"Save it," Gin interrupted, who didn't want to hear her excuses, "I know he has it, and you, being as close as you are to him, probably know exactly where he hid it. I want you to bring that piece back to me. It's got my name on it, so you won't miss it. It's gotta be inside his room somewhere," he muttered that last bit to himself, before facing the bewildered Moka.

"You will meet with me here, same time tomorrow, and give me back what I want," Gin decided, backing off slightly as Moka continued to look at him in confusion. "You are not to tell anyone else, especially Kaneki Ken, about our agreement."

Moka bristled at his unreasonable demand. "I'm not agreeing to your conditions. I don't even know what Kaneki-san took from you, if he even did at all!" She was not about to betray one of her close friends, who had enough trust in her to confide his troubles.

Gin smirked, "I thought you might say that." He reached into his shirt pocket, pulling out what looked like a black recorder, and pressed a couple buttons:

"…I forgive you." Moka heard her voice echo back to her, leaving her mouth agape as the tape continued, "…Moka-san…why do you look so surprised-!"

Gin cut off the tape, and smiled at the stunned vampire, "I can rewind it back a bit further if you want?" She didn't answer. "I'm glad you understand. Remember, same time and place tomorrow, and if you speak a word of it to anyone, I won't hesitate to have this recording broadcasted all over the coms and have Kaneki Ken's tragic backstory make the front page of our next issue.

"If you give me back what is mine, then I'll erase this recording before your very eyes," Gin said, "So, Moka-chan, are we now in agreement?"

-o-

*Gin, in this story, is more of a 'gentleman pervert'. He has his perverse hobbies, but he will control and even refine himself in front of a lady. He's depicted as less 'rapey' than he is in the source material, which I'm assuming no one would be against that change. Much like what I decided to do with the Public Safety Commission members, Gin's character will be developed more in this fic.

A/N: Due to IRL issues with COVID-19 and quarantines, I found myself with more free time than expected and decided to revisit this story. I haven't updated this story in a long time, so I'm sure I've gotten rusty. Even so, I hope you enjoyed this long-delayed chapter, even if some parts are a recap. I wanted to really delve into Moka's perspective, her thoughts on Kaneki, and how she has grown since her introduction. I have future chapters outlined- a ton of stuff going down in the next chapter- and I will try my best to update them when I can. Stay safe everyone, and to my old and new readers, thank you for your support.