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"... So," Wendy broke the horribly uncomfortable silence that had fallen over them all after driving back to the Shack where they all took shelter from the pounding rain in the gift shop. "That, uh... was a thing that just happened."

"I can indeed verify," Soos held up a hand as Wendy shook her head free from rain. "That was a thing that happened."

"I'm so sorry," Dipper repeated numbly for the twentieth time. "I'm so, so sorry-"

"Kid," Grunkle Stan put a hand atop his head. Dipper flinched and looked up to him, uncertain. "You did what you thought you had to. Just... sad things turned out the way that they did."

"I-I didn't mean-"

"Kid," he interrupted as he was turning to leave the room, one hand on the wooden support of the door frame. "Little lesson for ya. It doesn't matter what kind of weapon you hold, if you pull the trigger, you've gotta mean it. Try to remember that and... forget everything else. Get some sleep. Soos, Wendy..." Grunkle Stan looked to them for a moment. "... Go home already. You're not getting overtime."

"Understood, Mister Pines!" Soos answered cheerfully.

"Uh, hey, Soos, you... mind giving me a ride?" Wendy motioned out the window at the pouring rain. Mabel noticed an odd look on Wendy's face as she was motioning for him, but it was gone the next moment. Soos readily agreed and soon the two were gone into the afternoon, leaving only Mabel, Dipper and the still utterly silent Viola.

"... So," Viola coughed awkwardly into one hand, shifting from foot to foot as she tried to find a place to put her hands that wasn't her pockets. "Nobody else freaked out that this guy cloned himself?"

"It's Gravity Falls," Mabel shrugged. "We've seen weirder. Like, literal end of the world weird."

"R-right..." Viola edged away slowly, making for the stairs. "I'm... gonna turn in for the night."

Mabel watched her go, turning back to Dipper at last and finding him still standing in the same spot, staring between his feet. She carefully put a hand on his shoulder, lightly, but he didn't seem to notice.

"... Dip?"

"Yeah Mabel," he answered without looking up.

"You... gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. Fine."

"Because you didn't even try to stop Viola," Mabel pointed out.

"Why would I?" he asked quietly, his head still hanging.

"Because you had a ton of questions for her?" she blinked. "Because you're still, like, super suspicious of her? Because we want to find out exactly what Bill has been up to and why he hasn't destroyed the world yet?"

"I'm not sure I even care anymore, Mabel."

Mabel's hand dropped.

"Okay," she ran a hand through her hair. "Okay, wow. This clone thing has gotten you seriously upset if you don't care about solving mysteries-"

"I'm just gonna go to bed, Mabel."

He turned and sluggishly began climbing the stairs, hat low over his eyes. Mabel chewed her bottom lip, thinking furiously. He was never like this; to think that of all things a clone from a paper copier had upset him this badly was mind boggling. Of course, they were just clones. They didn't have things like feelings or anything like that.

… Right?

Mabel fought with this question throughout the night, and she slept about as well as Dipper did.

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Dipper tossed and turned in bed all night.

Rain pelted the roof, and the occasional rumble of thunder awoke him just as frequently as his thoughts did. His dreams came feverish and chaotic. He could hear the echoing sounds of maniacal, high pitched laughter just behind his ears, feel the burning heat in the summer air and the mugginess from the rain felt as though the weather itself were slowly smothering him in his sleep. He fought for decent rest throughout the entire night, but it never seemed to come.

Then, out of nowhere, he found himself lying flat on his back on a beach.

He took a long, deep breath in through his nostrils, the familiar scent of the salty ocean air easily recognizable. He grasped and let go of handfuls of sand as he sat up, staring about at the cloudy gray ocean.

"I've... had this dream before," he heard himself say, but it seemed to come from somewhere outside his body, a little too far away.

"You again, hmm?"

Dipper twisted on the spot, staring agape at a ragged old man in a tattered brown robe, leaning on a warped and gnarled staff. Even with his severely hunched back the wizened bearded man still stood tall, far too tall to be of normal height. His bright blue eyes were as sharp as cut glass, but the smile beneath his white beard was evident. His beard was so large that it seemed to be almost a separate entity altogether, so long that he could have easily tucked it into his belt, if he wore one.

"Uh... h-hi?" Dipper said meakly. "I'm sorry, have we met?"

The man only laughed. It was a rich, melodious laugh that rang in his ears, one that bounced with energy.

"No, I don't believe that we have, child," the old man shook his head. "I cannot fathom a more peculiar place for introductions, though."

"You first," Dipper said suspiciously as he stood, dusting the sand off onto his pants. "I don't even know you, and I've learned not to trust dreams anymore."

"My word, are all children these days as disrespectful as you?" the old man scoffed.

"I'm not a child!" Dipper said heatedly. "I'm thirteen!"

"Of course you are," the wizened man said flippantly, his grin growing. "You'd better dawdle off back to where you came from. It's time to wake up."

"What?"
"I said,-"

"-It's time to wake up," Mabel shook his shoulders, and Dipper fumbled to push her away. He blinked rapidly and fell out of his bed into a patch of sunlight pouring in through the open window.

"Mabel?" he asked in confusion, the bizarre dream already slipping away into the unknown. "Why are you up so early?"

"You slept through the alarm!" Mabel helped him to his feet, as she was already dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt with a comically positioned opossum holding up a sign that read Roadkill Cafe. "I tried to wake you up, like, three times already!"

"Sorry, sorry," he rubbed his eyes, reaching for his clothes so that he wasn't simply standing about in boxers and his tee shirt. "It-it's just... I had this really important dream."

"What was it about?" she paused at the door.

"... I don't remember," Dipper blinked. His cheeks flushed and he immediately felt stupid for even saying it aloud, and quickly motioned for her to continue along her way.

"Let me know if it comes back to you," Mabel shrugged, whipping her favorite device out and pointing it down the stairs. "Yay, faster mode of travel! Go go gadget grappling hook!"

He dressed rapidly and headed quietly down the stairs after the sound of something expensive breaking. He could hear Viola chatting amicably with Grunkle Stan in the kitchen, and the sound of Mabel greeting them as she entered before him. For a few brief minutes, he really thought today might be an uneventful, non-stressful day.

Then one of the windows exploded.

Viola shrieked and ducked underneath the table as a whizzing blue light whirred around the kitchen with the size and speed of a launched golf ball, bouncing and ricotcheting from wall to wall as pots, pans and a calendar were blasted from the wall. It tore a hole directly through the newspaper that Grunkle Stan had been reading and landed with a slightly damp fwump! on the table.

"Is that what I think it is?" Dipper asked in mild shock, pulling out the journal from within his jacket.

"Unless it's a butterfly hopped up on Christmas lights and Pit Cola..." Mabel was practically dancing from foot to foot.

"Oh, great," Grunkle Stan groaned. "Can't go one day without something breaking."

"It's a pixie!" Mabel leaned over the table excitedly. Viola carefully peeked her head up over the edge, staring back and forth between the creature on the table and the others.

"A-a pixie," she stood shakily, warily watching of were she stepped to avoid the shattered glass.

"Need... help..."

Every head in the room turned downward to the lightly blue skinned (and slightly glowing) creature, who upon closer inspection wore a slim brazier and loincloth. Her face was pointed and angular and she had tiny, pointy wings sticking up from beneath her blue hair. One of her multihued wings was bent horribly, and she had one arm pulled behind her back.

"Yech, dump it in the trash can," Grunkle Stan turned up his nose at the miniature woman.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel hid the pixie behind her hands defensively. "Don't worry, pretty pixie person! I know CPR!"

"I think you have to clap to heal them," Viola said uncertainly.

"I'm pretty sure that's just fairies," Mabel frowned.

"And you wouldn't wanna save a fairy anyway," Grunkle Stan snorted. "Fairies are just tiny jerks."

"Guys," Dipper partially closed the book, carefully inspecting the fallen pixie. "Can we focus for just a second?"

"My kingdom..." the pixie gave an uncomfortably watery cough, earning their attention. "Is besieged... by a terrible beast-"

"In dire need of questing heroes of all stripes," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, heard this crap before."

"A beast..." the pixie let out a high pitched wheeze, trembling. "With just... one... eye..."

An extremely tense silence fell over them.

"... Gonna need more clarification on that last part," Dipper said, his face pale.

"Can't hear you," the pixie held up one arm, her eyes closed. "Dying."

"Attempting pixie CPR!" Mabel screamed and immediately began attempting to pump the pixie's chest with one finger.

"Cut-that-out-!" the pixie wriggled free of Mabel between breaths. "Give a dying pixie some space!"

"But-but you can't die...!" Mabel held a hand over her mouth, her eyes beginning to water. "We practically just met!"

"Well, there is one way to extend a pixie's lifespan..." the tiny blue haired woman rubbed her chin thoughtfully with the arm that was supposedly injured, straightening out her wing with her other hand.

"Clapping?"

"Nah, pretty sure that's just fairies," the pixie said. "But if you've got anything with lots of sugar in it, that'll do."

"Uh..." Mabel blinked. "Well, I've got Count Choco-chocolate cereal-" she said as she reached up and pulled a box from the cabinets.

"Nope."

"Super Boo-io Berry Brothers Crunch?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Sugar-o's?"

"Nah."

"Uhm..." Mabel frowned, reaching all the way into the back of the cabinet. "... Expired Smile Dip?"

"That'll work," the pixie rubbed her hands together. Mabel opened the package for her and set it down on the table, and the pixie promptly licked her lips and stuck her whole head into the bag, copious amounts of crunching noises emanating from within.

"... Fascinating," Dipper continued writing in the bound journal, entranced.

"I think you mean 'disgusting'," Grunkle Stan grunted, rolling up the newspaper and prodding the pixie with it. "Never could stand those little monsters."

"There's a pixie," Viola stated numbly, staring at the small blue haired winged woman. "An actual, real, live pixie just broke through the window."

"A window I hope she knows that she's paying for..." Grunkle Stan poked the pixie again. The pixie only pulled her head out from the bag for a brief moment, completely coated in the colored sugar and hissed at him before sticking her head back in.

"Where would a pixie even get money?" Mabel asked incredulously.

"You heard her saying junk about 'my kingdom' and all," Grunkle Stan slowly grinned. "Implying royalty."

"... And?"

"And," he balked at her. "Implying money! You've got money, right?"

The pixie smacked her lips loudly, licking the last of the sugary treat from her fingers before staring up at Grunkle Stan.

"If I say 'no'..."

"Then I'll crush you like a bug," Grunkle Stan deadpanned, holding up the rolled up newspaper.

"Then yes," she answered without even blinking. "I'm totally loaded."

"I knew it!" he cheered.

"You mentioned something about a beast with one eye?" Dipper pried, curious.

"What, not even going to ask my name?" the pixie put her hands on her hips, belching. "Wow, you weren't kidding, that really was expired. But, uh, no 'why did you break into my house' or 'hey, how's that wing of yours doing'? Man, humans."

"Please forgive my brother, your majesty," Mabel said with a huge grin, pushing Dipper to the side by his face. "I'm Mabel! I'm adorable and super qualified to assist royalty; I'm even an official congresswoman!"

"Please ignore her," Dipper said feverishly, straightening his hat. "My sister is also legally insane."

"That wasn't proven in court!"

"And I'm Dipper," he continued, pretending to ignore her. "The person who wanted to squish you is our Grunkle Stan-"

"What about it?" Grunkle Stan grumbled.

"And that's Viola," Dipper finished, nodding to the tattooed girl. "Still not entirely sure if she's even on our team or not."

"Yeah, real nice, just say it straight to my face," Viola crossed her arms.

"And I'm Mabel!"

"You already introduced yourself, Mabel," Dipper deadpanned.

"I know, but I'm cute enough to warrant double introductions."

The pixie looked between them all as if gauging them, one hand on her chin.

"Very well," she said at last. "You may call me Princess Poinsettia."

"Oh," Mabel's grin slowly enlargened. "Oh my god. You're a petite pretty pixie Princess Poinsettia."

"Do me a favor."

"Yeah?"

"Never call me that again."

"... 'kay."

"And like I was saying, word in the forest is that you're a few humans who have some... experience in solving problems."

"Oh yeah?" Grunkle Stan asked suspiciously. "Says who?"

"Gnomes, mostly," Poinsettia shrugged. "Why?"

Dipper and Mabel groaned simultaneously.

"This doesn't involve peanut butter in any way, does it?" Dipper shuddered.

"I wish my problems were that simple," Princess Poinsettia scoffed. "No, I need your help with something much more dangerous than that. A monstrous, one eyed beast has been devouring pixies, and we need a way to halt it-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Grunkle Stan shook his head. "Nobody's doing anything even remotely dangerous around my grand niece and nephew-"

"We're ready to pay you in solid gold."

"Without me tagging along!" Grunkle Stan jumped to his feet and slapped his knee. "Hot diggedy! Let's get this show on the road already!"

"Dipper," Mabel pulled him to the side, a slow grin beginning to grow on her face. "Do you know what this means?"

"That somehow Bill is wrapped up in this?"

"Not what I was thinking at all," she pulled his hat down over his eyes, and he grumbled. "I mean, we've got a mystery on our hands! Mystery twins, at it again!"

"Don't call us that."

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A/N

Hey all! Thanks for reading, hope you're enjoying the story thus far. Let me know how I'm doing in the comments! :D