Title: My Emily (Different Epiloque)

Author: Mooncat99

Summary: Rory shows up at Logan's door, prepared for the fight of her life. Will he come to his senses finally? (Fictive Epilogue to Different. Logan POV. Post-Show)

Warnings: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or their wonderful characters.

Copyright: Sarah Diaz 2016

Author's Note: This is the Epilogue to Different I always envisioned. Actually, I sketched it out right after the show ended, figuring I'd wait with posting until I reach the end of my Different-version of the show. Now with the Revival looming, I decided to go ahead and start posting it anyway, even though I'm not yet finished with Different. First, because now this will be definitively fictive, not covering canon anymore, second, I want it out there un-influenced by what they decide to do in the Revival. Fingers crossed it will be something I can maybe use for Different one day.

Thanks: To all my loyal readers out there! I know I'm terrible with often keep you waiting for so long. Just know, I never forget you and am so grateful for each review. Thank you.

My Emily
(Different Epilogue)

I – My Emily

"You're still such a buttfaced miscreant, you know that? Worse than that, turns out you're a hypocrite! And boy, I'm not talking a mild case here."

Unbelieving, Logan stared at the woman in front of his door who had broken his heart five months ago. She hadn't just broken it. Oh no. She had torn it out of his chest, stomped on it and then had torn up what was left of it to bits and pieces. He hadn't seen or heard of her since then and now, suddenly, here she stood in front of his door and had the audacity to call him names?

No. Not with him. "Whatever," he replied tensely and attempted to throw the door shut into her face.

But she pushed against the door and then wormed her way past him into his house. He narrowed his eyes at her and threw the door close. "Oh please, come on in," he told her with venom dripping into his voice. She had no right to do this. He couldn't do this. "What? Haven't you done enough?"

Throwing her bag onto the couch, she rounded on him, her face furious. "Oh no, mister, don't you dare blaming all of this misery on me. I'm not the one who fucked up a perfectly well going relationship."

"I fucked it up?" he repeated, incredulous. "Well excuse me for thinking that proposing would be the logic next step in this oh so perfectly well going relationship. Whatever was I thinking?"

"Nothing at all, obviously, or you wouldn't have gone and done what you did. Otherwise you would barely have tried to blackmail me into doing what you wanted by proposing like you did."

Was she serious? "Blackmail you? The way I remember it I put my heart out there, in front of a bunch of people you love, declaring myself and expressing my deepest wish of spending the rest of my life with you only. You said no. You stomped all over my heart and threw our future together out the window as the previous three years hadn't happened."

"Exactly! How on Earth could you have thought only for one single second that I'd want you to propose like this, in front of God and the world! I never wanted it happen like this and you knew that! Fuck, had you used that brilliant mind of yours to think about it, only for one moment, you would have known this – farce of a proposal was all wrong," she hissed back. "Then again, that thing you did, that never was a proposal. At best, it was a damn LDB event!"

He was in front of her in a flash, glaring down at her. "How dare you? I meant every word I said!" He pointed away, to a past he was trying so hard to forget. To deal with. To survive. So far that hadn't worked out too well. Her showing up here out of the blue to come accuse him for sure didn't help. "That proposal was as real as the ring was!"

But Rory glared right back, shaking her head vehemently. "No. No, it wasn't! It never was! You panicked! That's what happened." Her blue eyes stared at him, angry, full of fire and spit, just like the very first time he met her for the second first time. Just like then he felt himself be drawn in by that spitfire. But he couldn't. Unlike then, he now knew to what unimaginable pain and lows it led. Highs too, but no Sir, he was cured once and for all. They weren't worth such devastation. He took a quick step away from her, and a second. The thing was, Rory simply followed him, honing in on him, aiming and firing. "You walked away from the life that was always your fate, your destination, and while it felt good at first, the true meaning of it all finally dawned on you, namely that you just gave up on the one thing you truly ever wanted to do with your life. No sane redactor will ever hire a Huntzberger, no matter how public his separation from the family and its business was. Leaving you with nothing but a worthless degree and no experience in anything else but the profession you just burned down all bridges to. You were scared. I get that. You panicked. I get that too." Some of the heat in her eyes and voice dimmed. "Your first job interviews didn't go so well. I know, you tried to keep them from me, but for heaven's sake, we lived together. We've been in a relationship off and on for three years straight. I love you. Did you really think you could keep such a scare and disappointment from me?"

She looked at him, as if she waited for an answer. But he said nothing. If he did, he'd engage with her. He'd been down that road already. Not again.

The heat turning up once more, her eyes narrowed. "Fine. Be immature. Just proves my point. Because that stunt you pulled at my graduation was pure infantile behavior. Finally, one interview works and you get this job here. Still in panic mode, you try to convince yourself how great this opportunity is, what a way better job you scored there. You accept it without thinking, without questioning. There's just one problem though, isn't there? It doesn't make you happy. And you know you'll have a tough time selling it to me, you moving to the west coast. To the desert, really. You figure you know I love you. So you think, why not rush ahead and propose? Surely I'll say yes, after all, I love you, don't I? Forcing me into that dreamworld you try to build in order to feel good about this stupid job. Maybe thinking being married to me would change how unhappy this life here is making you! As if!"

Okay, that was it, engaging with her or not, he couldn't listen to this any longer without defending himself. "You're crazy! Me proposing to you was never about this job here," he shouted. "The only reason for proposing was my love to you and me wanting to share the rest of my life with you, having a family with you one day. Nothing else. Hell, I don't even know what you're talking about. You never said a word against me taking this job out here before this," he pointed out. If maybe her words stirred up a tiny, uncomfortable feeling deep inside him, he ignored it. She was wrong. What did she know anyway, after five months of no contact? He was happy with his job here. Not with his life, true, because, duh, the woman he loved had mercilessly ripped apart his heart and hopes, but his job was just fine, damn it.

"Of course not, how could I? You were so relieved, still so fired up about it all. I thought, why not, give you time to figure it all out, to try it out so you could see how wrong this is for you. Unlike you, I was prepared to wait, to support you while you came to terms with what you want or don't want to do with your life, now that you were finally free from the obligations your family heaped up on you since the ultrasound told them you were the long awaited son and heir. I wanted you to fly," she replied so sarcastically and with such passion, he was surprised when seconds later, her face crumbled and there were suddenly tears in her eyes. "Damn it. You promised, Logan!"

He blinked, confused, not following her, his mind still busy with taking everything in she'd said, trying to sort out the feelings and reactions they evoked. Still mostly anger, because, God, she was so wrong about so many things there.

Rory though shook her head, her tears spilling over. "Don't pretend you don't know what I mean. You promised, Logan. At the maze, you promised." She sobbed, once only and stifled, but the sound of it tore its way straight into his heart. She wasn't a crier, so the few times she did, it had always almost hurt him physically, having him search frantically for anything to make her stop. Apparently, five months apart from her hadn't changed that. Her hands balled to fists. His too, to resist the urge to take her into his arms.

"We stood there in front of it, talking about the time after Yale and you promised that I can go for my dream, for whatever I want to do after graduation and you'll see to it that no matter what I decide, we'll be together." She stared at him, taking another step towards him, willing him to … He wasn't sure what exactly she expected from him. "Back then, right at that moment, we made a promise to each other, for our future together. We pledged each other together. Or do you want to deny that?"

He said nothing, still tense as a bow, right before the arrow was let loose. Judging from past experience, these arrows for sure were aimed to destroy the little that remained of his heart.

Something in her eyes dulled and again he had to fight the urge to do whatever it took to bring back the brightness from before. She continued, her tone flat. Accusing. "But then you panic and you go break that promise. Suddenly, it's marriage or nothing, Palo Alto or nothing, LA Chronicle or nothing. That's not what we promised to each other, Logan. Not what you promised me! It's not what either of us wanted or dreamed about and you know that! You always knew that! That's why you proposed in front of all these people, because you thought this way I'd say yes, no matter what. Not because you actually thought that this is what I want." Another sob wrecked her body, but at least despite that her eyes blazed with rage again. Good. Rage he could much better deal with. Of that he sure as hell had enough of his own. "But I wouldn't play along, would I? I refused to take the role designated to me in that illusion you tried to build up for yourself. And because you still weren't ready to face reality when we talked afterwards, you refused to listen to me, only insisting on me having to give up everything I worked my whole life for, hard. Every dream I ever had, Logan, you suddenly wanted me to throw away in order to follow you out here and pretend alongside you that everything's just fine. But I refused to do so and before I even had a chance to explain why I stand where I stand, you just got up and walked out on us, breaking every promise you ever made to me!"

"You said no for Heaven's sake!" It finally broke out of him. He was tempted to grab and shake her. Instead, he rammed his hands into the pockets of his pants, letting his eyes shoot all the fire he felt. "I proposed and you said no. I wanted us to marry, you wanted to remain where we were in our relationship. Hell no, actually, you suggested to go back to a long distance relationship." He shook his head, disgusted. "You can think whatever you want to make yourself feel better, Rory, but in the end, the only reason why I walked away was because I wanted more and you didn't."

"That's not true!" she protested at once, her tears at last drying up, thank God, replaced by rightful indignation. "I told you how much I love you. I told you that I want to stay together with you. By God, I would even have said yes to you if that proposal would have had anything to do with us. Of course I would have said yes. But then you had to go and ruin it by proposing like you did. That farce had nothing to do with us and our love! It had been solely about you, it only being a part of an illusion you desperately wanted to cling to."

"Bullshit," he told her quietly, his jaw clenching. "You really think that's why I proposed? That I only got the idea of marrying you when I got that job out here?" He laughed, as bitter as the coffee beans she loved so much when grinded and blended. "Well, sorry to destroy your delusions there, but that decision was made long before then. Hell, even long before everything went downhill at the Group." Her eyes widened, those news apparently shutting her up finally. He nodded, with biting sarcasm. "Actually, I got the ring before I left for London. And before you go and doubt that as well, ask Colin and Finn. They've seen it. Listened to me figuring out how and when to do it for almost a year. So don't you dare go claiming I did it out of the spur of a moment or some fabricated reasons that were all about me and not about you or us."

The wind knocked out of her sails, she gaped at him. "You did?"

Glaring, he nodded again, daring her to challenge him again on this. Of course, after a moment, she did just that. "So why not ask me before that party? Or after, for that matter? Why waste all this time and energy in planning the perfect proposal to then rush ahead like you did? Or are you telling me you really knew me so little that before all this happened and you got that job, you ever entertained for real the possibility to do it like you did? Thinking I'd want it done like that, in front of a bunch of people who are mostly my grandparents' friends? Actually, in front of anyone else, really? Or something this public at all? When have I ever been a fan of public displays? Especially when it's about something as private as you asking me to marry you?"

He didn't answer on the spot. Then again, he couldn't not answer either, not this time. "Yeah, silly me, thinking that you love and want me enough to not care about anything but saying yes when I put myself along with my heart out there in the hope of you wanting to declare to the world and everyone that we belong together by accepting me and my ring."

She lifted her arms, as if to touch him. But then, to his relief, she let them fall again. He wasn't sure what he'd do if she touched him. "Maybe, if that had been your true reasons, I still would have said, overseeing the little regard you showed me by the way you did it. Probably actually. Yet, here we are back with the true reasons you chose that way, that moment: You didn't propose because you wanted more. You didn't propose because this was about sharing your life with me or wanting to start a family with me one day. That proposal you did was about nothing else than securing yourself a fucking trophy wife so you wouldn't be all alone out here, having a distraction from that ridiculous job you accepted out of your panic."

His rage flaring up again, his hands flew out of his pockets, up into the air. "Hell, I never wanted a trophy wife, you know that. Not that that is even a possibility with you. Even if I still had my money and hadn't left high society and the Group, you never in your life would ever be a trophy wife. I never said you can't work. Fuck, I told you I can set you up with the Chronicle!"

"Yeah, exactly!" She made a face. "When have you ever heard me speak of the Chronicle, huh? Who dreams her whole life to once work for the LA Chronicle? That's right never and for sure not this girl here. Me going to work for the Chronicle is the equivalent of me becoming a trophy wife, only now without your precious trust fund or your family's money, I can't be occupied with the DAR and other of these organizations so hey, I get to work a little for some random paper. That is until Mr Caveman here thinks it's time to get his little wifey pregnant. I bet then you would have started to nag about me quitting altogether, at least for a the first couple years."

"Don't be ridiculous, I never said I'd expect anything like that. And sure, the LA Chronicle is such an unknown, unimportant paper. Barely anyone reads it. Your Stars Hollow Gazette probably has more subscriptions than this joke of a paper," he said, his voice drifting with sarcasm.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please. You know this business better than me. Would you have wanted to go work for the Chronicle, having the same dreams and options I have?"

"Never been an option for me, Sweetheart," he reminded her flat out.

"Right, and that's the real problem, isn't it?" Rory replied, sharply. "But let's talk about that later. First answer my question: If you had the choice, the same ambitions as me, would you then want to settle for the Chronicle? Choose to work for that paper?"

He said nothing, just pressing his lips together.

"Yeah, that's what I've thought." She crossed her arms. "So tell me again why I therefore should settle like that?"

"Because you love me and want to be with me," he answered, softly, before he had even decided if he wanted to give her an answer at all. Looked as if he did.

She stared at him. "Okay, fair enough. Now, let's forget for a moment all the other reasons why this is such a bad fit for me. But what happens afterwards? If you get transferred, perhaps? Or if I you decide this job isn't for you after all or you simply want something new that's maybe in Hawai or back home or I don't know, Timbuktu perhaps - what then? Or what happens when I get a job at the Times or somewhere else in a few years that's more fitting? You'd ask me to decline? To quit and leave everything I've worked for behind again too, expecting me to follow you wherever you want to go while with you it's never going to be an option for you to quit and follow me? Will it then be either follow my dreams or divorce?" She shook her head. "Who would always have to make the concessions in this relationship, Logan? Because from where I stand, it doesn't look promising as if it's ever going to be you."

"Oh come on, don't be so over-dramatic! We'd have seen what's best for us whenever a big decision like this would have knocked on the door," he replied, exasperated, waving her arguments away. "No, this has nothing to do with all that crap. Bottom line here is you're either not ready or simply don't want to settle down. Or at least not with me. Fine. But I'm not going to be the guy who bids his time until you are, waiting at home, hoping that you're in the mood for some domestic time sometimes while you're chasing stories all over the world – or find some other idiot who gives you what I obviously can't. Or whom you love enough to realize that maybe, you can 'settle' with what options you have that allow you to be close to him."

"Damn it, Logan, I just got out of college. I've done nothing else in my life yet than studying. Well, apart from my work at the Gazette, but that hardly counts. Yes, I do think I deserve the chance to go out and find my way in this world, experience life outside of a classroom, discover the demands of everyday life and how I fare in this grown-up world. Get out of my bubble, just like you yourself told me to do so three years ago for Heaven's sake. But just because I need time to build myself a new life after school or want to travel the world a bit doesn't mean I don't want you either. Or that I don't love you. Or that you're not the only one I want to experience all these new things together with, be it in person with you at my side or by simply calling you to tell you about it." Her chest heaved, her eyes shining brightly. "You, you've been everywhere already. You've lived. During my freshmen year you took off with Finn and Colin to sail around the world. Last year you left for London, starting your own life, finding your own place and yeah, so maybe not everything turned out right, but still, you dealt with it, more or less, and you - lived. And during that year, I was always there for you, wasn't I? Despite the distance, I was always with you. I listened, I cheered for you and I ranted whenever I thought your father or anyone else did you wrong. Just like I told you when I thought you were wrong or acted like an ass. When you burned your bridges down, I was there to hold you together. I helped as much as you let me. Which wasn't much, by the way, just like you sure took your time to come clean with me about that deal from hell. Something else we need to talk about, later though. Here, right now, we're talking about you denying me all of what you had by springing that proposal on me. You know how little I lived so far in that aspect of life. I didn't have the money to jet around the world, so I studied. I studied my ass off so one day, after school would be over, I could finally go out there and see the world. Something you always encouraged." She snorted, laughing, though all he heard was sadness and pain. Disappointment. "Suddenly though, the moment that time finally arrives, when it's time for me to spread my wings, you change your mind and instead of further encouraging me to follow my dreams, you come and want to chain me down, clip my wings, throw me into a cage."

He started to shake his head. True, he couldn't deny he got where she came from, still, she should know him better than that. "That's not true, Rory. I never asked you to not go fly. I just asked you to go fly out at the west coast. And to take me with you. But if you think a marriage with me equals a cage, then I guess I truly never knew or understood you correctly, for sure misjudging everything you ever said to me – or made me believe about the possibility of having you in my life for good."

Sighing, she shook her head. "And once again, you just aren't listening to me, like back in May when I tried to explain to you how I feel, why I can't say yes, at least not with the conditions you put on that proposal. You shut down and left, your pride hurt and all high and mighty." Again, her eyes narrowed. "You ran, just like back when we had our first big fight and you just threw me away. Or like when we almost broke up because of the bridesmaids you did during said time and you ran to Costa Rica to go jump out of a plane with a defect parachute for a stupid stunt instead of staying home and talk about it, almost throwing away your life. Only this time, it's my dreams you throw away without a second thought. My happiness. My freedom."

"You're wrong. Completely wrong," he told her, his emotions playing too much into his voice for his liking. Disgusted, he shook his head. "I just can't do the whole long distance shit again. It's been hard enough when I was in London. With how closer we grew after I came back, I can't go back to that again. I won't settle for that."

She looked as if she'd start to cry again any moment, that dull shine back in her eyes. "Then why promise me to go for whatever I want to do and you'll be right there with me?"

His hands fell down, fisting. "Things have been different then," he said after a moment through his teeth. Damn it, why had she come? Didn't this hurt her as much as it hurt him? Then again, she'd said no, so yeah, probably she wasn't nursing as broken a heart as his was.

"You've already walked out on your dad by then." She still stared at him with those fucking big, wide eyes. "By your words, you already had the ring back then, having decided you want me to be your wife. So either you knew exactly what you promised me – or you lied, just telling me what you knew I wanted to hear, figuring I'd come around once you came to me with your real plans."

"I never lied to you, Rory. Not while we were together, not now," Logan flared up, glaring at her. "The problem is back then reality hadn't yet caught up with me. I didn't know yet how hard it would be to find a job at all, let alone one close to where my girlfriend would be – who, may I add, still hadn't any idea where that actually might be."

Rory though was unimpressed, judging by her snort. "Sorry to say, Buster, but that's how real life is: it's hard. Even I knew as much already. The secret is to find out how to deal with it and find a way that works for you anyway. In a relationship though it's also got to be one where you're not the only one who gets what he wants, without having to make any concessions at all."

"Right back at you, Honey," he sneered.

"No. No! If we did it your way, tell me, what concessions would you have made? Huh?" She waited maybe ten seconds before continuing. "That's right. None. You'd get to live far away from your family and Hartford and the life you hated and left behind. You'd have had the job you wanted - though that job of yours is an altogether different story, but let's leave that for later - you'd have had the girl you wanted and in the end I guess a pretty good life. I however, I'd have had to give up my dreams, move far away from my family and friends that I actually like to be around to go dry up in the desert, me, who gets a sunburn practically the minute a ray of sunshine falls onto my poor, unprotected skin, get a job I don't really want and a husband who obviously can't bother to care about what my needs are. Does this sound fair to you?"

No. Not really, not put like that. Then again - "It's not always about fairness. I needed a job, Rory. Fast. This is the one I got. Is it really too much asked if I wanted to have the woman I love with me?"

But she took him by surprise with her next reply. "No. Not at all. I want to be with you, how many times more do I have to say that? But not when I'm the only one who has to give and with only your conditions that count and mine not at all." She moved forward again, now standing so close he felt her breath on his face. Forcing him to feel the warmth of her close proximity, reminding him of the effect she still had on him. A big part of him wanted to step back again - but then, he figured she probably would just close the won distance again, so he stood his ground. "Okay, so you need this job here. Fine. I can accept that. I'm willing to adjust my life to you living here. But only if you accept that I follow my dream, even if that means that we can't always see each other."

Gritting his teeth, he shook his head, making himself to stare firmly into her eyes. "I told you ..."

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard you. I've listened to all your fabricated reasons and excuses for you going back on your word. Now you listen. You can't have everything. You've got to give and take, not just take. So boo hoo, you don't want a long distance relationship. I'm not a big fan either, but unlike you, I'm not so childish about it either. You know, neither did I want one when you moved to London, but I loved you, I knew you had no choice and most importantly, I wanted to be with you no matter what, so you and I, we made it work." She rose her head, her lips now so close, he just had to dip his head to reclaim them as his. There was nothing he wanted to do more than just that. Too bad he hadn't that right anymore. She had taken it away from him the second she had told him no. Her next words though made him question everything again. "I've never changed my mind, Logan. I never went back on the promises I made you before we went into the maze. I still love you. I still think of you as my lobster. You're my Stansfield, my long Morrow." Taking a deep, shaking breath, she slowly reached out to touch his chest, lay her hand over where the ruins of his heart beat half-heartedly ever since she'd crushed it. "So basically, it comes down to you, Logan. If you really love me and actually want, as you continue to say, spend the rest of your life with me. Well, what is it?"

He stared down into her eyes, feeling his heart cringe. Her hand on his chest sent tingles throughout his whole being. He wanted to lie so badly, hurt her as much as she had hurt him. But he couldn't. It wasn't in him to lie to her or worse, deliberately hurt her. Besides, he was so tired of battling. "Yeah I do. I want it," he whispered, dejected. "That's the problem. I want it. You don't."

"Oh no, I want it," Rory contradicted him, her eyes flaring up with light and brightness. "I want to be with you, always. I want to be your wife, your partner, for the rest of our lives. I want to have your children and have grandkids with you. I want to grow old with you and be able to look back onto a long and happy life. I just want you."

Her words nearly brought him down to his knees. But he wouldn't let her humiliate him again, wouldn't let her hurt him like that again. "Could have fooled me five months ago."

She leaned against him. "Because that's not what you asked me those five months ago. Then you asked me to be nothing more than a slightly better situated trophy wife. You didn't ask for a real partnership, a real marriage. You just asked me to make you feel better without ever thinking about what I want or need." And suddenly, the tears that had dried up were there again, brimming at the edge of her eyes, tearing at his heart at once. "You ask me, you really ask me out of the right reasons, showing me all you want is for me to be your lobster, your Sandra Horn, I'll say yes, in a heartbeat, always. Hell, I already have. Back then, in front of the maze, I already said yes. Yes to always be with you. Yes to always consider you in my every decisions. Yes to always stay with you, for better and worse. Yes, to be your soulmate, the one person you can always count on to be there for you." She stood on her toes, tentatively brushing her lips against his. His body exploded in need, wanting to reclaim her lips, all of her, making her his for once and for all. Still, he didn't move, frozen in his fear of her destroying him again. "Back then, you made the same promises, remember? Don't deny it. You made every single promise I just re-pledged to you. I never betrayed them. It's you who has gone back on those promises. You, who suddenly changed the rules and made this all about you and you alone. Not about me, not about us, you."

He was shaking his head - but he wasn't sure anymore if it was rather out of confusion because her words were getting to him than a refusal to accept her words as truth.

"But I'm not ready to give up on you. On us. I need you, Logan. You stole my heart and my soul a long while ago, to never give them back again I believe. Certainly not now. Without them, without you, I can't live anymore though." He felt a tremble shaking her body, it taking everything he had to not reach out to put his arms around her. "And I don't want to. I want you back, Logan. No, I still don't want to work for the Chronicle. While I do want to live with you again, if I can't because of the job, well hell, then we do the most with the time we find together. It won't be like London. This time, there will be no Mitchum watching your every move and find ways to punish or deride you for every trip home you make. No Yale and merciless class schedules and deadlines to meet. Well, I still have deadlines, but not ones that won't allow me to come home regularly either. It may be not every day, but it won't be months and months either, that I promise you." She pressed herself closer against him. "I told you, I want to fly a little before I settle down. But when I settle down, I don't want to do it with anyone else than you. Until then, I will spend as much time here with you as I can, you will be part of every aspect of my life, know everything about me and what's going on wherever I will be. When you need me, I'll be here. When you want to tell me something, I'm just a phone call away. If we really want us, we can have us. We'll find a way to make it work that we both can be happy with. But you have to give a little for that, just a little, Logan."

Her words as well as her closeness were getting to him, no doubt. God, he wanted her so much. His body made no secret of that, which she for sure felt herself, as pressed against him as she stood. His mind though still hesitated. Yeah, he wanted her. Always had, from the moment he laid eyes on her. Well, consciously and not barely registering anything because of the hangover he'd nursed when he'd met her for the very first time. But after everything they've been through since then, after all she'd showed him about love and relationships, he wanted more than just sex. He wanted all of her. And not only for a little time here and there. That just wasn't enough anymore.

Or was it?

"Please, Logan. Please," she begged as if sensing his stumbling resolve, the desperation and longing in her voice hammering relentlessly and forcefully against his remaining reservations. "I don't want to be without you even for a second longer. I don't want to do all these new experiences that await me without you there to share them. Because that just sucks. I'm working my first job, I see places I've never seen before, and it's all shallow because at the end of the day, I can't tell you about it, can't take you with me for this or that, can't laugh with you about the joke my co-worker told me, rant to you about what stupid thing my boss did or said this time or cry onto your shoulder about my latest fight with Mom or Lane or whoever." She was trembling again against him and this time his arms automatically reached out to steady her, calm her, no longer able to withstand this all-consuming need to comfort her he'd discovered within himself shortly after meeting her. Feeling his embrace, she herself slipped her arms around his torso, holding on tight to him. "I sleep miserably because you're not there beside me, like you always were this past year, even when we hadn't been on the same continent. Watching a movie or a show is boring because I can't mock it with you. Reading the paper is uninteresting because we don't fight about who reads which part first or you constantly nagging me to read faster when you want my pages. The food is tasteless because you're not there to feed it to me - or cook it for me on my lucky days. Coffee! I barely can drink coffee anymore because you're not there to tease me about it or watch me mesmerized when I inhale a much needed cup of coffee." A tear rolled over her cheek, followed by a second, and a third and more. Quietly this time, though, as unbearable as he found her sobbing, her silent tears had always been his final undoing, sending him on a quest to right whatever wrong was done to her, heal whatever was broken. Everything, just to see her smile again. "I want you back. I need you back. So please, please remember what we both promised each other back then. Please remember that all we ever wanted was each other, in a partnership. And not in a one-sided marriage that's bound to fail because either I'll hate you for giving up my dreams to marry you or you'll hate me for becoming that kind of wife you always hated and never wanted for yourself. Please, please, Logan, listen to me. Truly listen to me. To my heart. And yours."

He almost snorted at that. There never had been a single doubt what his heart wanted. Ever since she first kissed him – well, there too it technically was actually rather their second kiss - his heart and body knew only too well what they wanted and that was a very simple answer: Rory. No matter what, it just wanted Rory, any way possible. No strings or strings, commitment, faithfulness - love. Everything else was secondary. No, it was his survival instinct that warned him to fall for her again because he felt it in every fiber of his body that he wasn't going to survive another rejection by her.

"Please, just say yes, Logan. Give our hearts a chance to heal again. Allow us another shot at that eternal happiness we feel with each other and want more than we ever wanted anything else in the world for the rest our lives," she whispered, her words singing to him like the siren once did to Odysseus. Or was it her heart's pleas desperately calling out to his? He just didn't know anymore.

"Take me back. Come home to me again," she begged with even more desperateness, her hands burying into the flesh on his back. "So we can be whole again."

His arms cradled her closer, instinctively. Oh, how much he wanted to give in. It wasn't as if he had done any better than her these past five months. There was no joy in his life, even on his best days. He hated waking up every day to realize the woman sleeping in his arms had only been a dream, a memory of better days, and all he had ahead of him was another long day separated from her. Even more he hated coming home though, to this empty house he had rented in the hope to bring Rory home to as his wife, knowing she wasn't waiting on him, never would and he was doomed to spend yet another restless night, filled with longing, torturous dreams and sad hand jobs to relieve at least some of the need his dreams and memories left him behind with. It was a fucking lonely life. He'd tried dating a few times after three months of going crazier every day with missing her, never making it even through dinner. No matter how nice the women were, they weren't as beautiful, as witty and God, they were slow. A couple of times, when the need had grown too strong, he'd gone to get himself some professional help. Nothing he was particular proud of, but it kept him halfway sane. And from jumping onto the next plane to go get himself his woman back, no matter what. Which was exactly what Finn and Colin had been hounding him to do pretty much since the day he had walked away from her. Resulting in him barely having spoken to his best friends in weeks, not having seen them since summer. Same with Honor.

Her hold on him tightened. "Logan?" He stared down into those sparkling pools he loved letting himself fall into, filled with hope, but the same devastating pain and desperate anxiety he felt was whirling big time in them as well. His throat closed off. "Please, Logan, say something."

Swallowing, he complied, his voice raw with all the emotions and doubts and wars he was fighting inside his soul. "I want to believe you. Trust me, everything in me screams to forget everything and take you here and now, to never let go again. But you said no, Rory. I told you what I wanted. Maybe I did it wrong, maybe I didn't think enough about how to do it, maybe I should have waited some more – but nothing I said had been anything but the truth, Rory. My intentions hadn't been anything else but born out of the pure love I feel for you and my deepest wish to spend the rest of my life together with you. With you, Rory. Every day, every night. Not a day here or a night there, seeing your picture more often than you yourself, only able to talk to you over the phone instead of touching you." Shaking his head, he forced his arms to release her, stepping away from her, needing the distance. Otherwise he could never bring himself to say what he needed to say.

"I told you …"

"Yeah, I heard you," he interrupted her quietly. "Okay, all cards on the table Rory. The thing is, you said I'm ahead of you where life experience is concerned. It's true and not particular because I got two years on you. I've spread my wings, I've flown, I've crashed, physically and metaphorically. I know what I want, what I need by now. It's you. But all of you, not part-time you. And I do think ahead, Rory. I only lived in the moment during the time you knew me, I guess, but don't think I never thought ahead, five years, ten years, longer. It's how I was raised from the moment I could grasp the concept of time. And it's not something I can shake or get rid of as it's become a part of me. One I don't even mind that much. The future was and always is close to me. And I listened to you, to everything you had to say, I really did, Rory." He took a deep breath and it hurt. Damn it, it actually hurt. He didn't want to do this. But he couldn't not do it either. She needed to understand. And if she couldn't or refused to show any sign of being ready to think ahead with him and agree on promising to be there for the long haul, really there, then it was better they never tried again, no matter how much it would hurt already to send her away, out of his life forever. "Unfortunately, I barely heard a word about the future from you, only the present. Say I'm willing to agree to do it your way for now, going back to long distance – what about in a year or two or five, Rory? What will happen if down the road you get those dream jobs you want to go after?"

She frowned. "What about then? We make it work, like we always do."

Disappointment crashing through his heart, he sighed, tired. "You make it too easy, Rory. Fact is, I need this job. You're the daughter of a former maid with little credentials and no experience, you probably know better than me that I can't allow myself to quit anytime soon. With my background and my practically non-existent cv I was lucky enough to score this one. If I want a chance to get a better one I need to prove that I can stick around and work good and hard so my current boss will gladly recommend me when the time comes for me to move on. Truth is, I can't just go anywhere I want anymore. I wish it were different, but it isn't. It's the only reason why sometimes I even think about crawling back to Dad and beg him to take me back so I'm able to offer you what I once could. Because even if I could find a job close to where you want to go or you can find a job you'll be happy with close to mine – another fact is you still want to travel a lot, be an overseas correspondent, right? I always figured, as me being me, that's no problem, I can make it work, see to it that we can do at least some of those travels together. Oh, I so much wanted to show you some of the places I've seen, discover new ones with you, introduce you to the more interesting people I've been forced to socialize with most of my life, make new friends and contacts with you." He kept her eyes, watching her closely as he said his next part. "To be able to keep an eye on you. This job you want, it's not without risks, Rory. And you know how crazy with worry I get where you are concerned. If I were still with the Group, I could have made sure that if you got sent somewhere too risky for my taste, I could have simply gone with you to do my own story for our papers. Or have the necessary money to pay any ransom if you'd get captured and held captive anyway. It happens, Rory, more often than you're aware off I think. Often enough that we have a budget and insurance just for such cases at the Group. And pay even more to prevent it to happen in the first place."

She stared at him, flabbergasted. "Are you for real?"

He laughed, humorlessly. Just as he had thought. Jeez, sometimes he really had his doubts in which world she had lived so far. How could she not be aware of that many little harsh facts of the life she so desperately wanted, more apparently than she wanted him? "So real it certainly isn't funny. We are talking about the very life of the woman I love and hope will be my wife and the mother of my children one day. That's not something I kid about, Rory. Or that I take lightly. Or haven't thought long and hard about. And as everything I thought was given has changed by now, and I simply are neither able to go with you nor have the security of having the contacts and money to make sure you'll be as safe as you can be anymore, yeah, maybe me suggesting the gig at the Chronicle to you had a lot to do with those very real worries. Because, I'm sorry, Rory, but I honestly am not sure how I can deal with having to always stay back, going crazy with fear for you, having to always ask myself if you're going to come home from your latest trip." Even thinking about it had his stomach in knots. "Losing you because we want different things from life is one thing. It's hell, but I think, at least right now, it's a hell we may both still survive. Having you die on me, though, especially if we decide now to give us another shot, that's an altogether different story. Or having to live with this constant fear."

"So what exactly are you saying? That no, there won't be one concession you're able or willing to make to accommodate my dreams and my needs? That it's still either your way or no way?" she asked, frowning, the fear in her eyes rapidly taking over, dulling the light in them once again.

His hands ran through his hair while he tried to figure out what his torn emotions were trying to tell him. Finally, he shook his head. "No. Not exactly. All I'm saying is that even if I'm willing to do it your way for now, I can already promise you that in a few years, it won't be enough for me anymore. Yes, I do want you to follow your dreams. I know how it is to be denied to dream, I never wanted to do that to you. You've got to believe me on that. But I have dreams to, Rory. And most of them evolve around you. At some point in the future, I need you to be ready to respect them as well, even if it means you've got to maybe make some changes to adjust to my needs. Which are needing you to live with me, permanently, and for real, not where your home address may be the same as mine but in reality, you're more on the road than home. To know that whatever you do during the day out there in this scary world, at night, you come home to me. Well, as sure as anyone can be about things like that, but you know what I mean. And that you are aware that I do want to have a family with you, so once we have children, I want to actually raise them together with you. We both had the absentee parent in our childhood. Your dad was barely involved in your life and mine, while over-controlling my life constantly, never was really there for me either. I'm not willing to put my children through something similar like that. I always thought you aren't either, but honestly, seeing how little you seem to think ahead or willing to cut back for the sake of those who love you, I'm not so sure anymore." He stared at her, willing her to at least show her willingness to consider his reservations, his needs. Praying really. Because despite what he'd said, the longer she was standing in front of him, filling his house with her presence and the warmth radiating from inside of her, the lesser he was sure if he actually could let her leave out of the door ever again.

She held his eyes, slowly nodding. "Okay, Logan. I hear you. And you're wrong if you think I don't think about the future. My whole life I always worked only for the future really. To be able to get into a good prep school, to then focus to get into Harvard or another Ivy league college to then graduate with excellent grades, securing me at least the basic requirements to score myself a good job. Allowing me to fulfill the things I've always dreamed about since being a little girl, watching people come and go as they pleased in the Independence Inn, traveling, seeing the world, meeting interesting people, witness history being made. Every year we had at least one or two seminars for journalists held in the Inn, you know? I listened to their stories and knew, someday I wanted to be one of them. That's how my passion for this profession started, from where it progressed to the dreams I have today. I owe it to that little girl to fulfill them, Logan. I just have to." Not sure what to make of her words, he watched with hungry eyes as she shrugged out of her coat, not having realized she was still wearing one at all, but feeling his heart clench as he now saw her folding it close and putting it over the back of his couch. It felt a damn lot like her making herself at home in his house.

And God, how very much he liked that thought.

"It is also true however that I too have my five, ten, twenty years plans for the future. And since the Valentine's Day we spent with Mom and Luke on the Vineyard last year, you started to future more and more in them. By the time we made those promises to each other in Stars Hollow earlier this year I knew without a doubt that I wanted you at my side for all of those plans and beyond that. You, Logan, are the man I chose. Though it hardly had been a choice anymore. You've made me fall in love with you so much it's not a question of want anymore, it's a need. And yes, I'm sure of that because unlike you and your vague fears, I got the call already that nearly destroyed my life." Her hands fisted but he could see right away it was out of emotional distress rather than anger. "I waited for endless hours sitting in an ugly hallway or waiting room to hear if the man that stole my heart was going to live or die. I stood by your bedside, seeing your broken and battered body, hooked up to machines, infusions and God knows what else, holding your hand and begging your unconscious self and whatever deity might listen for you to fight, to live, to come back to me, to not sentence me to a life doomed to be spent alone, because in my heart and in my soul, and after that in my mind too, I knew for me, it's you. Only you. If it's alive or dead, if you want me or not, you're it for me."

"Rory …" He moved, the need to hug her overwhelming everything else, unable to bear seeing her struggling so much with those memories, while at the same time his soul started to hum with every word she said.

But this time it was her who stopped him with a hand on his chest. "No. Let me finish. You want it all open on the table, so let's do this. All cards down. You showed me your hand, now let me show you mine. I've never been so scared in my life than I've been during that horrible first day, until Paris could find out for me if you were going to live or die. That was, up until my graduation day, when I had to watch you walk out of my life. Nice way to ruin a day I've been working towards and looking forward to for so long by the way." Shaking her head, she rubbed over her face, before looking back to him. "Sorry. We've done the blaming part. But it hurt too, Logan, just so you know, seeing how little regard you once again paid me and my special moments. And it hadn't been the first time. Rather, it's been continuing a trend of several times where you put your needs and your feelings ahead of mine. I think it's part of the reason why when you went and fucked up your proposal, there just was no way I could say yes, not before you proved to me that this won't be how our future together looks like."

He frowned. "Like when, exactly?"

Rory rose an eyebrow. "Let's see: Like when you pulled that prank in Professor Bell's class, not thinking once about the consequences it may have for me – or how I feel about something like that. Like when you tried to steal from my Grandmother out of some other stupid LDB tradition the night you came to have a first dinner with my family as my boyfriend instead of wasting one thought about how important this may have been for me and maybe for just once, you could be on your best behavior instead of acting like an ass, especially once Grandma noticed your little stunt, letting my mom prevent her from firing the maid instead of owning up to what you did. Or like when your reluctance to face the consequences of your doing during our break-up led you to keep me in the dark about the bridesmaids, letting me walk straight into the knife of having to listen to them going on and on about how they did the dirty deed with my boyfriend. Again a good example for some other times where you kept me rather in the dark than just talk with me, even though it may be a hard, unpleasant talk. London, that deal from hell, your perfect assistant Bobby, you quitting the family business, you accepting this job and moving to Palo Alto, and of course, your proposal and then following ultimatum. But it's also been other things, smaller ones, like when your hate of this world that was actually always rather yours than mine made you bale out of the first and only DAR event I organized. You've seen how important it had been to me to get this done, and yes, you helped, but in the end, rather than to swallow the bitter pill and face spending a night with those folks for your girlfriend's sake, if only for a couple of hours, you got hammered with your friends in the pool house I lived in."

"Now wait a minute …" he started to protest.

But now she apparently was on a rant, despite her earlier words. "That's actually another good point: your friends. While we hang around with them pretty much all the time, just how long took it for you to bother start getting to know my friends, huh? How often did we spend a night out with my friends for a change, instead of yours? How often did you agree to do something I wanted to do even though it wasn't exactly your cup of a tea? How many times did you let me go alone to this or that rather than accompany me versus just how many times you expected me to go out with you, do what you wanted, watch you three get drunk and let me drive you guys home and make sure none of you died of alcohol poisoning? You think I had much fun on those nights, Logan? Well, I didn't. But I loved you, so I was making an effort to be there for you, because I knew you needed me there. Still, would it have hurt you so much to try a little harder to be more involved in my life? It was one thing it took you over a year to meet my best and oldest friend, but letting me go to her wedding alone? Or taking two years to come home with me, meet all the people that are important to me back home and see all the places that are close to my heart?"

He couldn't deny that there was more truth in her words than he liked. Still … "Then why not say anything before now, Rory? In fact, I remember you telling me several times it was okay if I didn't come with you to this or that. If you had such a problem with this, you should have just said something."

She rolled her eyes. "Except the point in all of this here is that I shouldn't have had to tell you anything in the first place. You should have thought yourself of what's so important to me that you had no choice than to make an effort to be there for me, maybe even do what you could to make sure I could enjoy something I've been looking forward to."

Scratching his head, he sighed, exasperated. "I swear, you women … Just say what you want for Heaven's sake. How was I supposed to know all this if you never once until now said anything even remotely close to tip me off? Worse than that, actually more often than not saying the complete opposite of what you meant? I told you after we decided to commit that this whole relationship stuff was new to me and I'd need your help in figuring out how it all worked. Well, newsflash, Babe, this? This is definitely part of the things you should have just clued me in." Okay, some of the things she had mentioned he did know he'd seriously pissed her off with. Either it had become clear right afterwards by the resulting fight like with the pranks and the bridesmaids or he had figured out himself already that maybe he was lacking in one or another department, like him taking his sweet time to get to know her friends. The other stuff though he had had no idea that it had bothered her. "I'm sorry if I didn't pay your needs enough attention, but again, if you say nothing, it's hard to know just what exactly you expect from me. Still – I didn't do it on purpose, you know?"

Her sigh was deep. "I know. Only reason why I haven't made an issue out of it so far. Besides, it's not as if you're completely thoughtless. It just shows in different ways. Like when you gave me that edition of 'My Lai' you had Hersh sign even with an inscription for me. In general your generosity, always bringing something home for me almost every time you've been on a trip with your dad or your friends. Sustaining me with food and coffee when I was pulling an all-nighter. Yeah, foremost, you just looking out for me, always. That I don't overdo it, that my car's in top shape, that my phone's charged or even if it drove me crazy most of the times, your constant insisting on not letting me walk anywhere alone, not if you could help it. For that you even could suddenly interrupt a party in order to come fetch me and bring me home. You let me name your coffee maker and Henry without blinking an eye. Also that time you lent me Frank so I could get home fast to check on Mom – you have no idea how much that little thought made me fall even harder for you than I already was." She smiled, softly, the brightness returning to her eyes. "Or the big things, like you stealing a boat with me just to cheer me up. Probably not the smartest idea of either of us, but despite everything, I can't help but love you for that. You invited Mom and Luke to spend Valentine's Day with us, certainly not exactly how you imagined to spend your first Valentines with your girlfriend, but you did it because you knew how important their relationship was for me, even gave Luke one of the gifts you got for me so Mom wouldn't have to think he hadn't bothered to get her one. When Paris threw me out, you opened your home for me, just like when I told you I was no longer comfortable living in your apartment on your expenses, you accepted me moving back in with her despite hating the dump we lived in without putting up much of a fight. My rocket and everything it symbolized – oh Logan, if you knew how much it meant to me, you giving me this just when I was going out of my mind with missing you but also fear of losing you. The biggest winner though is probably when after Grandpa had another heart attack, you didn't think even twice before coming, just being there for me, doing what you could to keep me calm while we waited. I've never loved you more than on that day, Logan."

"How is he?" he asked quietly. Honor and the guys would have told him probably if Richard had another health crisis or worse, despite the strict no-talk-about-Rory-rule he had issued on them, but still … He'd thought several times about the old man, wondering how he was doing.

A shadow flew over her face. "As well as can be expected. Which isn't all that well. It took a terrible strain on him, Logan. I don't know, he's always been so strong, so imposing, even after his first heart attack. But now? He's weak. And he suddenly seems so old …" She swallowed, her eyes casting down. "We're worried. Especially Grandma. But I think, like me, we all are realizing and trying to come to terms with the fact that we probably won't have him in our lives for as long as we'd like."

"I'm sorry." It wasn't much, but it was the truth.

"Thank you," she whispered. Raising her head, she sought out his eyes again. "You know, it's because of him I'm here now. I thought so often about coming here, but I always baled at the last second. Also, a big part of me waited for you to come back to me. Because you walked out on us, you broke us, so I figured it was also up to you to fix us again. But the days and weeks and months passed and you didn't come. I thought with time you'd realize that we simply don't work apart anymore. That we need each other. Guess that was too much hoped for."

He didn't like the sadness in her voice. But there wasn't really anything he could offer her there. "I couldn't. Don't think I didn't want to. I too was so close to get onto the next plane and come get you so many times. But you said no. It doesn't matter what else you may have said, I asked you to marry me and you said no. There was no going back to that."

"Yeah, Grandpa mentioned something like that. We had a long talk on my birthday yesterday. Before he gave me a plane ticket to LA, the bus schedule to Palo Alto and your address, actually. Along with the advice that men couldn't easily forget a woman saying no to them, as no one knew better than him because apparently, he too had to ask Grandma twice before she said yes. He also said that if after all these months I still couldn't think about anything but you and if thirty, forty years from now all I could picture was for us to still be together, then I was stupid to rather nurse the pain you left me in than come after you and let you heal it again." She let that sink in for a moment, before she continued. "The last thing he told me before handing me my passport and calling me a taxi to the airport was that life's too short to not spend it with my Emily." She did a double take, before chuckling, nervously. "Which sounds stupid now that I'm repeating it, but you've seen them yourself at their wedding renewal. No matter the faults they have or the traditional way they lived their lives, ruled by the unforgiving rules of high society, they do love each other. They've loved each other since the day they met and he is crazier about her today than he was back then. Which is eeeww, I know, but it's also incredibly sweet and amazing really. They are living proof that true love exists even in that world and that it can last 'til the end of their days. I want that, Logan. I always hoped I'd have what they have one day and after I've fallen in love with you, since I've realized after your accident that you're it for me and I can't live without you anymore, I want you to be my Emily." She came over to him, looking up at him. "So I took the passport and ticket, I kissed him goodbye, I got onto the plane and here I am, fighting for you, to have the same happiness with you that my grandparents share for forty years now. And I'm telling you now I'm not leaving again. Never, not metaphorically. I'm here to stay, to be with you, forever."

Yeah, she was. As much he could see by now. More importantly, he realized with a soaring heart, it just was no use fighting this anymore. Because the simple truth was, since the moment he'd opened the door to see her standing in front of him, his heart had already made his choice for him. She may be here to stay, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let her go again. "I want you to be my Emily too," he told her softly.

She smiled, her whole being radiating with relief. "Good. So, back to your expectations. Most points I think I've answered already. Regarding kids, I see it exactly like you. The moment I get pregnant, I'll make the necessary changes to guarantee that I'm there for her or him or who knows, them. And you of course. So no excessive traveling, no long hours every day, at least not until they are big enough to go to school. Which is why I need you to be patient for a while longer. Before I have to turn my whole life around in order to adapt to bear and raise our children, I want to discover life as a non-parent first. Be free to travel, to fill our free times with whatever we want it to fill it with, not having to worry about baby-sitters, pre-schools or children-friendliness. Not forever. I liked having a young mom, well, young dad too, not that I got to have much of him growing up, so you don't have to worry about me wanting to wait until my ovaries are almost out of service before we start trying. I'm thinking waiting five, seven years perhaps, but no longer than me getting thirty. That sound reasonable to you?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Wait what? I get a say in this?" he asked sarcastically.

"Don't be an ass. Of course you have a say in such a big decision. Now, it's not quite fifty-fifty perhaps. It's still me who has to bear the children we want after all and my biological clock that got a time limit chained to it thanks to Mother Nature whereas you can still father children with anyone you want 'til the day you die. So I'd say sixty-forty in my favor is more than fair," she told him and it was crystal clear that he better have no argument to raise there. For once, he complied. It was true enough. She nodded, pleased. "Once they're born though, it's back to fifty-fifty. Actually, I definitely expect you to be very involved and do your part in us raising them. While I absolutely want to be home enough so I can see them grow up, after my maternity leave is up, I want to return to work. Part time only and certainly not overseas or constantly on the road, so I'm able to come home within a short time in case I'm needed. Which means you too will have to cut back from work, ideally do part time as well."

Jeez, she hadn't been kidding when she'd claimed she too had thought about their future after all. While that was a big relief, it also was kind of mind-blowing. Usually a couple took their time to decide on that many big things. Then again, when had they ever done anything the usual way? "I'm not saying I disagree, Rory, but I can't give you any promises there. I'm not my own boss anymore and I honestly have no idea how my boss thinks about things like that. So far, while there are dads on the payroll, none of them do part-time. I can certainly try, or consider this when I eventually look for a new job one day, but there are simply no guarantees that I can give you here and now."

Luckily, she didn't seem to mind his answer as she simply nodded. "Right. That brings us to the job situation, I believe, yours and mine. And I have a deal for you that should be just the right solution to those problems and uncertainties, I believe."

Caught off guard, he frowned. "A deal?"

She nodded. "I haven't figured it all out yet, which is why I wanted to wait a bit until I proposed it to you, so keep that in mind if you have questions about it I don't have an answer to yet. Though, I did kind of hope that most of the details we can work out together anyway."

He wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. "What deal?" he asked, skeptically.

Taking a deep breath, she crossed her arms as if reading herself for another battle. "Do you like your job here?"

He blinked. "What?"

"Your job. Do you like it?"

"I don't see how that has anything to do with us," he said instead of answering.

She smiled humorlessly. "Oh, everything. And by seeing how much you don't want to answer my question I guess you don't."

"It's going great, just for your information," he told her, indignantly.

"I didn't ask you if it's going well. I asked you if you like it. Big difference," Rory insisted though.

His back rigid, he glared at her. "It's fine."

Shaking her head, she narrowed her eyes. "Meaning, you really don't. Maybe you don't hate it, yet, but you definitely don't like it. Not that I am surprised. And neither are you."

"Am I not?" he asked, smiling deridingly.

"No. I know you, Logan. I've seen you last year. And you've told me yourself years ago. Deep down, you know that you're not cut out to do anything else than the news business. Not if you seek happiness and satisfaction in your professional life as well. You know that you love it, as much as me, if not even more. You love writing, you love investigating, you love publishing - and you even like the whole business side of it all. Because you were born for it, simple as that. Not because you're a Huntzberger. But because your soul is that of a reporter, a writer. It's in your blood, in your fingers, in your genes. And you're good at it. Better than good even. You rock." Her eyes bored into his. "And you know that exactly. That's why you don't like your job, why it's simply not enough for you, fulfilling you, satisfying you. You're just not ready yet to admit what a big mistake you made by moving out here for this wrong job for you."

"You're out of your mind," he protested, heated. "First of all, I'm still very happy to have walked out on my father. Best decision ever."

"I agree," she interrupted him before he could move on to his second point. "You desperately needed to break free from your father. That part was really a great idea. Because simply taking over daddy's firm isn't enough for you. You need more of a challenge, you need to make it on your own. That's why you rushed so foolishly ahead with that deal from hell where you lost so much. Leaving the Group was definitely the right thing for you." She gave him a meaningful look. "Not turning your back onto the whole news business though. That one was one of the most stupid ideas you ever had. And boy, you had a few really bad ones."

He laughed bitterly. "Babe, Dad is the business. It's either him and the Group or something else altogether."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before. No one would hire a Huntzberger and you couldn't even blame them. And I give it to you: you're probably right there."

He snorted. "You admit I've been right with something? We better check for the apocalypse."

She ignored his biting remark and looked at him expectantly. "But that doesn't mean you can't still be in the news business. There is something you can still do: Build your own paper, your own business."

He laughed out loud. "Dang, why didn't I think about that! Any you tell me I need a reality check." He grew serious. "First of all, Dad would never allow it. Second, we've seen how well that has worked out when I last tried it. I didn't lose just much, Rory. I lost all of my own money plus a great deal of the Group's. So I simply don't have the money for even thinking about building my own business."

"But not because you couldn't do it. You lost it because your need to be your own master was so great that you didn't think it through, didn't work it out enough, until every last detail was clear to you. Now that you've made your mistakes though, you won't do it again. And you don't need Mitchum's permission. You have the right contacts. You know what it needs and what it takes. And for this, for your own business, you'd work yourself to death and move Heaven and Earth to make it thriving and pulsing and successful." She stopped, giving her words time to seep in. And boy, seep in they did, more than he wanted. He couldn't afford to even think about such a possibility. To allow himself to hope. "I have absolutely no doubt that if you take your time and carefully prepare and build it up, you will not fail again. On the contrary, you'll probably revolutionize the whole business and in ten, twenty years, Mitchum will have to crawl to you for help so the great Huntzberger Media Group survives, suggesting a merger."

Okay, now she really had lost it. And even if she was right... "You didn't listen. I have no money anymore. Even if I really want to try it like you suggested here, I'd still need a whole lot of money to get it started, let alone to make any profit. And no bank will give me money after what happened with the Group. And none of the contacts I may have had will risk daddy's wrath - or trust me after I fucked up that bad at the Group. So no investors either."

She leaned against the couch. "You have me."

He did a double take. "What?"

"You have me. I'll have the money in two years when I gain the access to my trust funds. Did you know that I had three? Dad says, all in all, it will be around six billion dollars. More than I'll ever need. He also said, if I want to, I can probably get to a big chunk of it pretty much anytime, seeing as I never used any of it so far. Money I don't even want particularly, certainly not more than what will ensure me a good life. Anything above that I want to earn for myself." Rory looked at him, expectantly. "So that leaves much money for which I don't have any use. It should be more than enough to get a business started though. If not, I'm sure the banks won't frown upon me co-signing any loan you'd need additionally to get it up and running. And I am neither afraid of Mitchum, nor have I lost my trust into your abilities. Quite the contrary. I firmly belief that you will be better than ever before and considering how good you already were, that will be quite something."

He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. She couldn't be serious.

But she nodded, serious. "That's the deal I propose: We stay together, move in as soon as we have enough clarity about where our life together is best based upon. Until then, I'll be as often here with you as work allows. You let me have my dream and don't force me to choose between you and everything I've ever worked for. And I give you your dream back. To go back to the news business. To have your own news company, be your own master. Share our passion for this business we chose and love, to work alongside each other. As partners, in every aspect of our lives."

"With your money?" he made sure, baffled. It was a concept he'd never thought about, hadn't even entered his mind as a possibility. Why should it, until recently he never had to think about needing money from anyone else, let alone the woman he loved. And he wasn't sure how he liked it now. Slowly, he shook his head. "I don't know if that is such a good idea. It's your money. I don't want to risk losing it. Nor does it feel exactly right to me to live on your expenses. Because that's what it would come down to as I'd need to quit so I can dedicate all my time to build it up. I can't to that part-time. And it certainly would take some time until we could even think about profit, bleeding a lot of money until then."

She shrugged. "So what? Mine, yours, what does it matter when we're together? I've lived more than a year on your expenses, not to mention the billion times you paid for me while we were together and even before that, actually. Look at it as me paying all of that money back if you have such a problem with accepting money from me. Though, really, you know, you never had a problem back then, laughing it off when it made me feel uncomfortable, so don't go all man-stuck-in-the-fifties on me now and develop an attitude because your girl owns and earns more money than you. As for me investing in you? If not in the man I love and trust more than anyone else in life but my mom perhaps, then in who else? I'm sure you'll prove me right in no time. Besides, the way I see it, this money will be used for us anyway. To ensure we can both work in the profession we chose, be together no matter what, without either of us having to cut back on our professional dreams. Also it's an investment into our future, because as said, once we decide to start that family we both want and you get me pregnant, I'm not sure how willing my boss will be to meet my new conditions. It will be a luxury to know that I can always just quit and come work for our own paper. Not straight away though. I first want to prove myself at an established paper, get my name out there. And I think you need to start it on your own, without me meddling around as well. Think about it, Logan. You can do whatever you want. Cover whatever story you want." She gave him another look. "Choose wherever you need to travel to in order to get a story. Fair warning though: if that happens to be the same destination I'm heading to or even worse the same story I'm after, don't expect me to go soft on you. I'll give you a run for every story we're both after, not letting you have anything if I can help it. And I expect you to show the same mercilessness towards me. This will be business. At home, there it will be about our life together, us."

"As simple as that?" He rubbed his temples, his mind racing through her proposition. "I don't think it will be as easy as you make this out to be, Ace." She smiled, no, she beamed. He frowned, puzzled, not seeing any reason yet for her to beam like that. "What?"

"Ace. You used quite some names for me since I've arrived, but not once Ace. I just like hearing it again." Pushing away from the couch, she came to him. "You have no idea how much I've missed hearing it at least half a dozen time each day."

"Not as much as I missed having the opportunity to use it. But I couldn't. You weren't mine anymore," he told her quietly.

She shook her head. "I beg to differ. Since the day you claimed me, I never stopped being yours. I'll always be yours, if you want me or not." She gazed at him, her voice going very soft. "But what about now? Am I yours again? Do you accept my deal? Let us be whole and happy again?"

He was still trying to wrap his mind around this bombshell. The possibilities that sprung to mind ... He was tempted, he couldn't deny that. He didn't like to admit it but she was dead on with the news business. He did love it. If there really was a chance to go back to it without having to submit himself again to his father's dictation, then he wanted it. But she was still wrong if she believed that that was all he wanted. "Depends. How is your position now on us marrying?"

She held his eyes. "I told you before: If we agree a marriage between us is an equal partnership rather than anything else, if it's about us and not about your job or mine or the families or whatever else, if we do this solely because we both agree that we belong together and want the world to recognize that, then I'll say yes from the deepest of my heart when you ask me again. Even if you do it all wrong again." She stepped into the circle of his arms, laying her hand back onto his chest. "All I care about is being with you, sharing our lives until death claims one of us. Maybe beyond that. Married or not, for me it's no big difference. Neither a ring on our fingers nor a license mean as much to me as the promises and pledges we make to each other, your heart to my heart, my soul to yours."

He pondered that answer. It was something. It was a lot. But not quite enough. "Good. But my condition is still a marriage, Rory. Call me traditional or practical, but I want us to be married. You say you don't care if we're married or not. Fine. I do though. So if it's indifferent to you then that means that we can marry. Now. Not in a year, or three, or five even."

He waited, unconsciously holding his breath. If she said no again, then this would be it. For good. God. She couldn't say no again.

She was silent for longer than he liked, slowly squishing the hope that had flared up like New York on Sylvester since finding her standing in front of him again. Just when he was about to turn and go open the door to kick her out of his life once and for all, she spoke. "Can I trust you to keep your word this time around and not go back on it again, no matter what? You won't ask impossible things of me the minute we make our vows? Things you know perfectly well I simply can't agree on, not without losing myself? Will you listen next time I don't do what you want, try to work it out with me, instead of walking out on me, on us?"

He took his time to think about his answer as well, before he covered her hand on his chest, nodding once. "You have my word. I won't ask you to give up your dreams, I never wanted to in the first place. And I promise I'll listen next time. Maybe I first need to cool down – but I'll always come back to you once I did in order to listen." He looked into her eyes, seeing the love in them. Feeling his soul reaching out to hers. "This goes both ways though. You're not exactly always the cool and calm one either." She nodded without hesitation, silently. His hand tightened around hers. "As for your deal: I accept it. With two stipulations: One, I won't touch your money before we're actually married. By the way, I also insist on a prenup. While it's laughable what I can still bring into this marriage and I don't envision we'll actually need it, I want it black on white what's yours or mine and what's ours. Second, if we're both going to be reporters, often on the road, then I think we need to include a veto right. It goes both ways and if it's spoken, it's negotiable – but if one of us wants to go somewhere or do something that we think is too dangerous, the other one gets a veto right."

She frowned as she mulled this over. "About the money and prenup, okay. I think it's unnecessary to wait and kind of hair splitting, but hey, you're the business guy between the two of us. As for the veto right: It truly goes both ways? Then okay. But if we already have one, then I want it to go beyond what may come up in work. You want to go do some other stupid, risky stunts or sports like during college, I have veto right as well."

His soul reached hers, entwining back with hers. At last, he could breathe without it hurting anymore. He smiled. "Fair enough. I believe we have ourselves a deal. Only thing missing is you giving me a straight answer about your willingness to marry me. Soon."

Rory studied him for a long moment that felt like eternity before she too slowly nodded. "Willing sure. I can hardly say yes though to a question you haven't asked yet. Or rather, again."

He raised an eyebrow, his smile deepening.

After a few moments, she mirrored him. "Well?"

"What, you don't expect me to sink to my knee here and now, do you?" he smirked, especially when he could see that apparently, she had indeed expected just that. "Now, I can't do that. A little bird told me that I did it all wrong last time around. Wouldn't want to fuck it up twice, now do I?"

Maybe he really had done it wrong the first time around. He already had a few ideas, from back before he'd done it and had still been trying to figure out the best way how to ask the most important question of his life. Now at least he knew how she definitely didn't want it. Most of all though it needed to happen when she wasn't expecting it. And that was certainly not now.

"Oh…" Damn, she was still so cute when she was flustered. "Well, just for your information: If you really want to get married so soon you should get in gears, 'cause I want a big wedding. Preparations will therefore take up five, six months at least. Maybe four if we decide quickly on everything and get real lucky, but it's going to be a stretch."

This was news to him. "You want a big wedding?"

She blushed. "It may be stupid and old fashioned but yeah, if I marry, I want the whole package, all inclusive: the gown, the aisle, the mile long wedding guests list, the big wedding cake, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the swans..."

"Swans?" he repeated, blinking.

She gave him the eye. "Yeah swans. You got something against swans?"

"No, no. You want swans, you get swans," he quickly complied, so not getting into that discussion.

"That's right. Anyway, I just want you to know now so you won't say afterwards I'm only using this as an excuse to postpone and buy myself more time. Because I don't. I don't intend to get married more than once though so this will have to do. Meaning it will have to be big, wonderful and include everything we always dreamed our wedding to be like. This takes some time though so the longer you wait to propose again, the longer you won't get your marriage." Her hands slid up his chest to fast behind his neck. "But for what it's worth: absolutely non-negotiable and top requirement is it being you and only you who'll stand at the end of the long aisle, looking dashingly handsome and downright smoking hot in your tux, waiting for me to come take your hand, of course looking so beautiful in my wedding gown it takes your breath away."

His shattered heart seemed to suddenly kit back together in record time, beating with joy again for the first time in five months. "That's worth much," he replied, his arms closing around her for one final time. He was never letting her go again, always holding tight on her from now on.

She raised her head. "So… do we have a deal?" she whispered against his lips.

He gave her his life turning answer without any further hesitation "We have a deal."

Her eyes shone impossible bright as he felt her relax in his arms. "So then I believe it's time we move on to close our deal."

Logan grinned, gathering her closer, his lips hovering over hers. "What do you suggest? Shake our hands? Draft a contract and sign it?"

She shrugged, her eyes dancing though. "I rather thought along the lines of wild, animalistic, mindblowing monkey sex. Repeatedly. But sure, fine, if you absolutely want it your way ..."

Speechless, he stared at her, hard as a stone on the spot. "No, no, your way sounds perfect."

"Of course it is. Once you're married to me for a while, you'll hopefully come to realize how my way is always the perfect one. Now, back to business, Mr Huntzberger. I'm off until Monday, so I think you not letting me leave the vicinity of your house, dedicating your time to thoroughly ravish me until then, is a good way to seal this deal. After all, we can't forget here that you owe me five months of abstinence and I expect this unforgivably debt to be paid back with interest that will make you cry out loud." She narrowed her eyes. "It were five months of abstinence, weren't it?"

Blinking, he thought hard about how to answer this potentially explosive question. "In the sense you mean it, yeah. There hadn't been any other women I took to my bed. The only woman in my bed is you. It will always be only you."

She wasn't liking that answer, as much was for sure. "Do I need or want to know what that means exactly?"

"No. We can talk about it later though, if you decide otherwise. For now, all you need to know is no, no sleeping around, and yes, I'm still clean so you have to worry about nothing." His head dipped to the side. "Anything I need to know about?"

He doubted it, but his Ace was always good for a surprise. As she proved on the spot. "Actually yeah. His name's Tonio. Well, Antonio really, but in the heat of the moment that just doesn't work," she replied without blinking an eye. "I'm sure you'll hate him, but you better get used to him. Need someone after all who keeps me from being hot and bothered while you dry up here in the desert. He's done an excellent job so far. Paris thought he was the perfect gift to cheer me up after some stupid idiot broke my heart, so she introduced me to him. No danger there with Tonio, that's for sure. He'll always be my loyal, loving, ever-serving bringer of multiple orgasms." Probably feeling his vein start pulsing, she grinned, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "I admit, I needed some time until I allowed him to do his magic, but hey, a girl who only ever slept with two guys in her life needs some time to bring herself to try out a dildo."

Flabbergasted, he listened to her going on and on about Tonio, trying to gauge how serious she was here. His incredulity wasn't the only thing growing however, he noted, shifting, wishing he'd put on wider pants this morning. With a surge of happiness he realized he'd actually need to rethink his garderobe choices with his Ace back in his life, starting with definitely having to go back to his more generously cut pants. First mission though, he needed to show her Tonio had nothing on him. He did a double take. Was he actually really considering how to beat a fucking dildo? Laughing out loud, he shook his head. "Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, whatever will I ever do with you?"

"Love me until the end of our days?" she answered without blinking.

"As much is a given," he told her softly, allowing his head to sink down so his lips could capture hers. He kissed her, lightly, savoring the feel of her lips against his, her irresistible taste. Whole and home, at last. Closing his eyes, he held her tight, resting his forehead against hers. For a long moment they remained still, just reveling in the feeling of being in each other arms again. His body though had no qualms to remind them of more pressing matters, making itself very noticeable. When Rory pushed herself slightly against this unmistakable reminder, he groaned, reclaiming her lips, this kiss anything but soft or light or sweet. "Now, what were you saying about wild, animalistic, mindblowing monkey sex?"

Author's note: So, at last. I waited only 6, 8 years for finishing and posting this. As already said in the introduction, no matter what they'll fix or further ruin in the new short season, this is how I always planned to finish my story Different. Ironically, I always thought this Epilogue will have 4 parts. So this is the first part and I sure will post the second sometime until the new episodes come out. If I actually will do the other two as well, I'm not sure, but like here, I'll make sure that each part could work as the last one. So no cliffhangers here, promise!

I know it's strange to get an Epilogue out when the original story isn't finished yet. And before you ask, yeah, I'm working on it – but as I don't exactly go for short chapters (cough, cough), I simply don't see it happening before Season 8 is aired. So it was more important to me, to get this baby out, untainted by what will happen in canon there. I do sincerely hope it's something I will maybe be able to make a Different-version out of it. If yeah, well, then Different will have two epilogues, one with how they fixed my favorite coupling, and this fictional one with how I think it should have been fixed right away. My version of how they did not fuck it up at all is Together While Apart. So I think, after this I truly covered all bases there.

As always the reminder that English is not my first language. That's German. And it's not beta-ed either, only my eyes that read through it a couple times. So any faults are definitely mine and I'm sorry for them. Hope there aren't too many.

Most of all, I hope you liked this take on how they got back together, sighing a few times with relief and joy over them getting their happy-ever-after finally.