To the Lucky Water Vase that met its demise as a victim of an experiment on transmutation. We barely knew thee.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legends of Tomorrow. Hubert and Priscilla are mine, however.

WORD COUNT: 1144

The First Time

Sunday, May 18th, 1958

"Ray, be careful with that!" Kendra gasped.

Her boyfriend gave her a breathless smile while peeking out from behind the ottoman he was carrying into the apartment. "I've got it," he assured her brightly.

"The delivery man did volunteer to carry it up for you."

"No, he offered to carry it up for me," Sara corrected from behind Ray with an eye-roll, "But as soon as Ray showed up, the pig realized I didn't need him to be the 'big, strong man' and shoved it at him before hopping back into his truck and driving away." She scowled. "If you'd been about five seconds slower, I think he would've gone far enough for me to have an excuse to punch him."

Kendra sighed. Men in this era could be such sexist assholes. "What did this one do?"

"Practically sat on the damn thing every time I tried to take it myself, flexing his muscles while staring at my chest. He didn't even try to pretend he wasn't doing it! I told him 'My eyes are up here' so many times I felt like a goddamn parrot!"

Ray scowled as well. "Sorry I ruined your chance to deck him. Guys like that never learn their lesson unti- Ah!" His left foot suddenly shot out from under him as he accidentally stepped on a wet patch of floor, and he came crashing down on his rear end, ottoman and all, knocking over a nearby table with a vase of flowers and causing the ceramic to shatter.

"Ray!" Kendra cried. She and Sara both ran over and lifted the semi-heavy piece of furniture off of him.

"Ow…" Ray wheezed, trying to get his breath back.

"So much for that vase," Sara commented.

"Aw," Kendra sighed, "I liked that one."

"Yeah, but I told you it was leaking."

The Second Time

Tuesday, February 10th, 1959

"Welcome to the neighborhood!" Ray enthusiastically shook the hand of his new neighbour. "I'm Ray Palmer; my wife Kendra and I live across the hall in Apartment 520."

"I'm Hubert Murphy," the thin, blond man replied with just as much enthusiasm, "And this is my wife, Priscilla."

Priscilla was a short woman, even shorter than Sara, with a kind, round face and dimples that showed when she smiled brightly up at Ray. "It's very nice to meet you. We just moved here from Indianapolis. Hubert just got a new accounting job here."

"Nice! My wife and I are actually both working at the university; I'm a physics professor, and she's a librarian." He turned when he heard Kendra coming out behind him. "Oh, and here she is; Kendra, this is Hubert and Priscilla Murphy, our new neighbors."

He didn't miss the by-now-standard double takes when he introduced Kendra as his wife, and not as his maid or something. It was getting… okay, it'd gotten past 'annoying' a long time ago.

Still, the couple was very polite when Ray invited them in and Kendra offered up some pie. In the back of their minds, Ray and Kendra imagined some of their teammates' commentary: Stein would probably enjoy holding a friendly conversation, Jax the horror movie buff would think Priscilla smiled like one of the Stepford Wives, Sara would quickly get bored of all the pleasantries, Snart (and Rory, though they tried not to think of him) would alleviate his boredom by lifting Hubert's wallet, and Rip… well, they weren't sure how their captain would react.

As they got to know their new neighbours, Ray got the brilliant idea of showing them one of his demonstrations for an upcoming class. Kendra wasn't sure how the thing worked, but at least she knew better than to touch it. Hubert, on the other hand, curiously poked at the contraption, causing something to go wrong and sending a metal component hurtling through the air, nearly missing Priscilla's left ear, and smashing into the vase they'd bought to replace the old one.

For several seconds, the only sound that could be heard was the whirring of Ray's malfunctioning device, Priscilla's panicked gasps, and the steady dripping of water. Then Hubert nervously laughed. "Um… Whoops. Sorry about that."

The Third Time

Thursday, September 17th, 1959

Despite having lived a peaceful life in this era for over a year, Ray and Kendra were still far more conscious of their home security than most people in this time. So when they woke up to a clattering noise outside their bedroom, both were instantly alert, grabbing a pair of baseball bats they'd bought specifically for that purpose. Ray crept out first, Kendra right behind him, and spotted a man hunched over the safe they kept their 21st-century stuff in, trying to crack it. The door to the hallway was still wide open behind him.

Both time-travelers exchanged a bemused look. Future tech aside, they didn't have much in terms of valuables. Ray stepped forward quietly. "Hey!"

The thief whipped around, obviously startled at being caught.

"Now, we can do this one of two ways. The easy way is the one where you just walk out and leave us alone, and the hard way is-"

He never got to explain what the hard way was, however, as the thief swung his bag of loot and hit him in the face with it. Ray wasn't really hurt, but he stumbled backwards and nearly knocked Kendra over. The burglar made a run for it, dodging as Kendra swung her own bat at his ribcage, but suddenly slipped and fell on the hardwood floor. He didn't move afterwards.

The door across the hall opened as Hubert Murphy stumbled out in his pajamas, not even wielding one of his golf clubs as an improvised weapon. "What on Earth happened here?!" he cried upon seeing the man lying on the floor.

Kendra stepped forward to check on him. Thankfully, while he was unconscious, he still had a pulse. "Some thief who tried to break in."

"I think Snart would say that's an insult to thieves everywhere," Ray commented, "He made a noise coming in, left the door open behind him, didn't bother with a mask or gloves, and managed to knock himself out by tripping over his own feet."

"Actually," Kendra added, looking at the patch of floor where the would-be thief had lost his footing, "I think he slipped on some water after he knocked the vase over."

"Lucky for you guys," Hubert commented.

From then on, that third vase, which had actually survived acting as their alarm system and single-handedly taking down a burglar, became known as their Lucky Water Vase.

THE END