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I have fallen and I did not realize it would hurt so much.

Sasuke opened his eyes to the inky sky above him that rippled with every twinkle of its stars. He spread his hands out over the dew covered grass beneath him. Each blade was soft to the touch, like a silk sheet that spread out around him. Turning onto his side, he stared out into the shadows between the thickets of trees. While the branches swayed and bowed with the wind, the shadows remained dense and static, an encompassing darkness that seemed familiar to him. It was the kind of black that swallowed everything around it. The kind of black that spread like a plague from house to house. It was the kind of black where the only visible light had been the pyre that was once his clan's village.

He pulled himself up slowly, letting his arms rest over the tops of his knees, the plating of his vambraces clinking softly against his greaves. The armor, that of the Emperor's army, was thick and heavy and he had not yet become accustomed to its burden. It presented a startling challenge in itself just to move around in it, but he would never have known its weight from the way his brother had carried it with such pride.

Sasuke swallowed thickly and squeezed his eyes tight. Itachi was there to greet him, a ghost emerging from the fog in his mind, dressed in armor so similar to what he himself wore. His brother smiled at him, the lines in his face no more pronounced than the day he had left for war. He was always better at smiling, Sasuke thought, better at being happy. The black had seeped into his mind, roiling and churning as he pondered bitterly.

This is what he had always wanted, what he had always dreamed of. So why did he feel so -

The crunch of approaching boots made Sasuke snap his eyes back open. Kakashi was ambling towards him, so Sasuke straightened his posture.

"Awake already?" Kakashi knelt to sit beside him.

"Hn."

"See anything interesting?"

"Nothing," Sasuke kept his gaze ahead, losing himself in the now rustling shadows.

"When I was a boy, my friends and I would play in a forest just like this outside the village."

"Did you grow up in Konoha?" Sasuke asked.

"I did," Kakashi smiled, his uncovered eye crinkling at the edges.

"Do you miss it?" Sasuke turned his head slightly to face him.

Kakashi seemed to hesitate, thinking on his response before he spoke. It was difficult to not see the pensive dip in his brow or the profoundly bittersweet grimace that affected his features. His obvious compunction was enough to incite curiosity in Sasuke, but the young soldier did not press him further.

"I miss my memory of it," Kakashi said finally, softly, "If I went back now, I doubt I would recognize any of it, not the people or the buildings. Not even the forest itself." Kakashi paused for a breath and looked up at the sky, "Much has changed since I left."

Sasuke studied the older man; they had only travelled a day, but they might as well have been sitting beneath the stars of some far off land the way he so overtly admired their radiance. He wondered if Kakashi saw the same things he did when he turned his eyes up; freedom, fear, possibility, captivity? Though he had been responsible for most of his training upon his arrival to the palace, Sasuke had scarcely spoken a word to him outside of the confines of basic etiquette. Over the years he had collected a number of questions that were now burning on his tongue. But the one he was most inquisitive about, was perhaps the least appropriate.

"Your eye," Sasuke began and Kakashi chuckled.

"You do not wish to see it, trust in that," he tapped the patch he kept over it lightly.

"Did it happen in battle?" Sasuke probed.

"No," Kakashi shook his head, "I am lucky to have remained unscathed for what I have seen of this war. This," his face fell, afflicted by the recollection of its memory, "Was a parting gift from a friend."

"And you still call him friend?"

Kakashi laughed at Sasuke's befuddlement, but he eventually sobered himself.

"He will always be my friend," he affirmed, a faraway gaze in his good eye as it fell from the stars. Kakashi was not looking at his fellow soldier now, but rather at the memories playing out before him, "He has hurt me terribly, as I have hurt him. We can not take our betrayals back, just as we can not take back the years of our companionship."

Sasuke bowed his head, a striking truth to Kakashi's words that pierced him deeper than he had anticipated. The pragmatic application of such a truth upon his life was too perfect for him to ignore.

"I would wager there are things your brother has done that you are ashamed of," Sasuke's breath hitched as Kakashi spoke. He could hear the mirth in his tone and, rationally, knew that he was speaking of Naruto's jocular nature. Nonetheless, it was becoming too much for him to contemplate, "But you love him still, despite those things."

Any other question he had for the man died with that final sentiment. Sasuke stood abruptly as dawn began to break.

"We should ready the caravan," he said and strode back towards the camp where some of the soldiers began to rouse.

I was yours the moment my name left your lips.

Sasuke mounted his horse and took his position at the front of the line of wagons, waiting for Kakashi to join him. The black steed he rode had come from the Sand, a portentous and virile beast that Gaara had gifted the Emperor. It was among a selection of war horses brought to the palace stables, but by far the most unruly.

Having not ridden since he was a boy, Sasuke found himself guessing his way through every command. He would have preferred to be with his other recruits in the back of a wagon, but Kakashi had insisted on it; generals did not ride with soldiers.

"Ready?" Kakashi pulled his mare up beside Sasuke.

He nodded and tightened his hold on the reins.

"Move out!" Kakashi called and the instruction was echoed down the line of wagons, passed between the other men on horseback that brought up the rear of the caravan.

They started back on the main trail, picking up a steady trot on the dirt road that stretched outward.

"There is a village about a day's ride from here," Kakashi called out over the clop of hooves, "With the caravan we will not make it there before nightfall. It is better we rest before we take the mountain pass and reach the village the next morning."

Sasuke nodded and felt the sweat gathering under his helm with the motion. The sun was barely up, but the heat of the day was already upon them. The thickness of the air provided no opportunity for even a moderate breeze to kindle. He spurred his horse into a loping stride, stirring up a strong wind around him. The trees beside him became nothing but a verdant blur as he galloped forward. Though his eyes stung, he kept them ahead, trained on the boundless road that extended before him.

With every step, every yard, every mile, he knew the palace disappeared further behind them. If he ran fast enough, far enough, it could almost be as though it never was. As though he could outrun it. Outrun her. Outrun everything. He dug in the heels of his boots, encouraging his horse faster.

If he ran fast enough nothing could catch him; not the war, not the nightmares, not his past.

He could be free.

A flash of silver caught his attention from the corner of his eye. He saw Kakashi racing to catch up to him, a bemused look on his face. Sasuke slowed his pace, pulling back on the reins, both to his horse's dismay and his.

"Scouting ahead?"

Shooting a look behind them, he saw that the caravan was almost a hundred yards back. Sasuke fumbled for a response; had he almost deserted them?

"Sorry, sir," he looked about, taking in the vastness of his surroundings. How many years had he spent behind palace walls? And now he was out in the wide expanse of the world. He could go anywhere, do anything. . .

"Jarring, isn't it?" Kakashi quipped. Except he couldn't. His duties remained, his obligations were clear. The war was still raging. Sasuke nodded, "Conserve your energy, and your horse's. I know you are eager, but we will make the journey in good time."

"Of course," he bowed his head. This is what he had always wanted, what he had always dreamed of. So why did he feel so -

Would that I could stay in this delusion forevermore.

The sun was beginning to set, still glaring down at them, but the air was becoming more dry the closer they traversed to the mountains. They were approaching the pass, so he knew they would rest soon, but if he were taking the journey alone, he knew he would push through without stopping. To prolong this venture was only causing him more discomfort and apprehension, giving him more time to dwell on his circumstances, more time to think about what he had left behind and what he was moving towards.

It wasn't long before Kakashi instructed them to pull over for the evening. They lined themselves along the side of the road and threw up thick sheets of canvas tarpaulin to be strung up in the trees, providing them with ample coverage. They made several fires in the area, breaking off into their regiments to chatter and pass around supplies for supper. When night fell, thin cotton blankets served as their only warmth, but with the thick summer air, they found they hardly needed it.

"You should try to sleep," Kakashi said as Sasuke began walking away from the shelter of the tarp, "You take the next watch."

Sasuke nodded, but kept forward, approaching the border of the forest that connected with the road. The iron sword sheathed in the scabbard at his hip swung as he walked between the towering trunks. He removed his helm, grasping it limply in his left hand. The slightest breeze passed over his hair matted with sweat, but it was not enough to ruffle it free from its placement against his forehead.

Despite the heat, he continued on until the din of the other soldiers had all but dissipated, until the only company he heard was the hooting of owls and the trickle of a stream somewhere nearby. He could get used to this, he thought, this kind of quiet. With its solitude came a consistency, a normalcy, a promise of permanence.

As the shadows of night surrounded him and the tops of the trees coveted him, even from the overhanging moon, he melted into the darkness. He sank to the ground, let the weight of the armor, the weight of responsibility and duty and honor, bring him to his knees.

Perhaps I am mad. . .

Sasuke laid back against the grass, his silk sheet spreading out around him. As he closed his eyes, he wondered if she was already asleep or if she was still reading by her window. Had she even realized he was gone yet? Or was she waiting up for him, expecting him to slither into her room any moment now? His heart ached as he thought of her waiting on her bed, candles lit since the light outside had long since died, with a journal in hand to pass the time until he arrived. Maybe she would have disrobed already, or perhaps she was aiming to leave that task to him. She always did find it amusing to see him struggle with her garments.

The echo of her recitations of medical studies and practices rang in his head. He could still hear her regaling him with the most dull texts, a sweet serenade that calmed his nerves and quieted his fears. What did he have now? Before he could think to do it, his hand came up to cover the space over his heart. He had that and it had to be enough.

Sasuke pulled back on the reins, slowing to a trot as they approached the mouth of the valley. He had spent so many mornings watching the sun rise over the mountains from the palace and now he stood at the base of them, these towering, imposing structures of nature that engulfed the caravan in their shadow.

"Stay alert," Kakashi said, speaking only to Sasuke, "We do not have the coverage of the forest any more. We will be exposed until we reach the village."

Sasuke nodded, staring down the pass as they proceeded forward. He could feel sweat gathering in every crease and crevice of his body as they left the shade of the trees. The steep mountainsides bordered them, subjecting them to the heat and leaving only one way through the narrow passage. There was no space to turn around, they could only push forward. He kept his head level as his eyes scanned the area in his peripheral. The little distance they had gone, he could see nooks and clefts in the jagged rock that no doubt provided an exceptional vantage point of the unfortunate traveler passing through.

Suddenly, the flare of a reflection caught Sasuke's attention.

"Wait," he hissed sharply, holding an arm out. Kakashi stalled his horse and the line of wagons behind them came to a rolling stop. Sasuke dismounted, a loud thud and chink of armor sounding when his feet hit the dirt. He lifted his helm off his head for a better look, searching the crags for that flash of light. He took a few steps forward, and then a few more.

But he saw nothing.

"We should go ahead," Kakashi sidled up beside him, "We can leave the wagons here with the soldiers, come back for them when we know it's clear."

Sasuke nodded and turned back. He reached for the saddle to hoist himself up when an arrow came sailing overhead, landing with a sharp thwack in the leather, inches from his hand.

He whipped around sharply, eyes scanning the tops of the beetling. The air stilled, no arid wind nor summer breeze, as a herd of archers entered his field of vision. One by one, Sasuke followed them, watching as they lined the length of the caravan. They arced their bows and Kakashi roared,

"Bandits!"

Dozens of arrows were shot off at once.

"Take cover!" Sasuke bellowed, racing alongside Kakashi to make it to the back of a wagon. They clamored inside as the broadheads pierced the canvas tops, tearing through it like a blade through parchment. Outside, the horses reared and bucked, the ones not hitched to the wagons taking to fleeing through the valley.

When the assailment stopped, Sasuke shot to his feet, jumping out into the pass.

"Sasuke!" Kakashi barked, but he was already gone, brandishing his sword as he ran ahead. Kakashi bolted after him, yelling commands to the other troops, "Get your shields! Secure the supplies!"

Troops leapt from the wagons, wielding their bucklers and blades, to form a circle around each one. Yards away, he could see Sasuke running after their horses, wrangling them back to the caravan. Kakashi sprinted forward as Sasuke leapt onto his steed, yanking out the arrow in his saddle. He sent the other horse towards Kakashi as the archers pulled back their bows for another attack.

"Up ahead!" Sasuke called to him, "It slopes! We can reach them from there!"

Kakashi mounted the saddle and steered the horse after Sasuke. They found a bend in the path that veered up onto a crag where a group of the bandits had made their post. Kakashi unsheathed his sword as they barreled towards them. The clop of hooves alerted the thieves and they dropped their bows knowing the arrowheads could not pierce the plating of the soldiers' armor. Drawing out their blades, they charged at Sasuke and Kakashi, a collective battlecry rising up through their ranks.

The soldiers dismounted and clashed with the bandits, their swords clanking together to create a thunderous echo that shook the valley. With a small horde against only the two of them, they stood back to back, defensive against the barrage of steel. While Kakashi parried, Sasuke attacked, driving his sword through the chest of the man in front of him.

This madness is the only satisfaction I have known in this life.

Blood gurgled from his mouth and spurted from the wound when Sasuke pulled his scarlet blade out. He swung it over, but had to duck when one of the bandits's swords came near his head. Then, he sliced his blade through another man's stomach. Suddenly, he was knocked forward, sword falling from his hand, as Kakashi was kicked back. They scrambled on the ground, rolling out of the way of a near fatal strike. Separated from Kakashi and his blade, Sasuke was backed onto the boundary of the crag that jutted into the valley. Three of the theives advanced on him, the iron in their hands glinting in the light.

He had only a second to think, bringing his vambraces up to cover his chest as the weight of the sword collided with them. The edge of the blade dug into the plate of his right arm while the other men flanked him, swords raised to cut him down. As the iron bit into his skin, he pushed against it, shoving the man back. He faltered and let go of the hilt, but the blade remained lodged in Sasuke's arm. Before he could pull it free, his good arm swung out, colliding with the other bandit's jaw. Then he twisted around, kicking up his leg to connect with the last man's chest, sending him flying back.

With a bloodthirsty cry, Sasuke ripped the sword out of his arm and felt the cool relief of his blood dripping down his skin beneath his armor. He gripped the hilt, adrenaline pulsing through his body, numbing his nerves. He stepped toward the nearest bandit and shoved the blade through his stomach. The man clamored feebly to grip the iron, but Sasuke had already torn it away. Like lightning, he spun around to face the remaining men that scrambled along the rock to get away. He grabbed the closest one, pulling back on his hair to expose his neck, where he cut the man's throat. The final bandit, who must have been no older than he, held his hands up in concession, but Sasuke stepped towards him. A trail of blood followed him, dripping down the metal of his armor onto the surface of the mountainside. He raised his arms, the blood-stained sword held above him.

"Wait, wait, please!" The man beneath him pleaded, "We were told you were coming."

Sasuke froze, his heart pounding in his ears so loud it almost drowned out the man's words.

"Who told you?" Sasuke questioned as Kakashi dragged himself over, leaving bodies in his wake.

"Sasuke, we have to get back," Kakashi was breathless, clutching his side with one hand, his sword in the other, "The caravan."

Sasuke's eyes snapped up and he looked over to the opposite ridge where there once had stood another row of archers. They were gone now. He turned his eyes back on the bandit, the swirling black of his orbs burning.

"Who told you?!" Sasuke bellowed.

"Akatsuki," his words were rushed, voice laced with terror, "It was the Akatsuki!"

"Fuck," Kakashi cursed and bowed his head, "They know we are bringing reinforcements."

"How do they know that?" Sasuke seemed to first ask Kakashi, then with a barely controlled fury, he asked the man, "How do they know that?"

"I - I do not know," the man pushed himself up, propping his back against the jagged wall of rock, "We were only told that the Emperor's caravan would be coming through this pass. They paid us and said we could keep whatever we found."

Sasuke tightened his fist around the hilt of the sword, the pain in his arm no longer a dull buzz. He was losing a lot of blood, he would need to dress it soon.

There are times when you come to me in a fury. . .

"Where are they?" A startling calm came over Sasuke as he stepped closer to the bandit.

"The Akatsuki?" The man shook, "I - I do not know. We met them in the village on the other side of these mountains about a month ago. I could not see their faces, they all wore masks - ,"

"The village is compromised," Kakashi sighed heavily, but he looked as though he wanted to punch his fist clear through the rock beside him.

"What do we do?" Sasuke asked Kakashi, but kept his eyes on the bandit.

"We have to keep going," Kakashi said, "There is no other way around now."

"I can take a team to scout the village," Sasuke suggested, "The others can guard the caravan until we return."

Kakashi nodded, then gestured towards the thief on the ground.

"Take him as well."

They regrouped with the other soldiers in the valley and surveyed the wreckage. An entire wagon of supplies was scorched beyond salvation and bodies, mostly those of the bandits, were splayed across the bloodied ground.

"We lost a couple of the horses," a soldier told Kakashi, "One of the bandits shot a lit arrow at the wagon, burned it up in seconds."

"And the men?" Kakashi asked.

"We lost some of them, only a few."

"Good," Kakashi nodded and looked over to where Sasuke sat on the ground. He had been divested of his armor, left only in his cotton tunic, trousers, and boots, while a medic bandaged his wound. It was a deep cut and he would need proper attention soon; they could not afford to be delayed for much longer.

"Bold of them," the soldier piped up, "Who attacks the Emperor's army?"

Kakashi turned to face the bandit who stood nearby, his arms bound behind his back.

"It was the Akatsuki. It will not take long for them to realize their mission has failed," Kakashi raised his voice, commanding the attention of the rest of his subordinates, "We will remain here until Uzumaki-san's return, but we must keep vigilant! The Akatsuki may be nearby and with greater numbers."

Sasuke pushed away the medic, crudely tying off the end of his wrappings and approached Kakashi.

"I am ready," he said firmly, "I only need a few men. We will raise less suspicions then."

"Very well," Kakashi's good eye narrowed on him. He said slowly, sternly, "Be careful, be discreet."

Sasuke nodded and addressed his men.

"You three," he pointed and beckoned them forward, "Come with me. No armor, no swords. We travel light."

It was nearing dusk by the time Sasuke and his troops came upon the village on the other side of the pass. Dressed plainly with unmarked cloaks to hide their smaller weaponry and coin, they rode in on horseback. The bandit, his hands still bound, shared the saddle with Sasuke. But as soon as they dismounted, hitching their horses at a stable behind a modest shack, Sasuke released the man.

"You will stay by me and you will not speak unless spoken to," he said gruffly. The man nodded fervently; Sasuke did not need to threaten him, the bandit knew what he was capable of, "What is your name?"

"Suigetsu," he answered.

"Suigetsu," Sasuke affirmed, "Where did you meet with the Akatsuki?"

"A tavern, just down the way," he pointed in the direction.

"Take us," Sasuke jerked his head and the other soldiers followed.

. . . nothing you have done, nothing you do, could have stopped this.

"You seem important," Suigetsu quipped, "You some kind of Lord?"

"What did I say?" Sasuke hissed, silencing Suigetsu as he led them on.

It was a short walk to the village tavern, a squalid hut with no doors and a tapered roof. There were only a handful of patrons inside, as could be seen through the glassless windows. The owner, a beefy armed man with a long beard, nodded to them and beckoned them inside, seeming to recognize Suigetsu.

"Two for me and one for each of my friends," he said to the barkeep.

"Upfront this time," despite his stern command, he flashed a genial smile at Suigetsu who dug into the pockets of his pants and pulled out a few coins.

"That's for me and, uh," he glanced back at Sasuke, "My friends will pay for themselves."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and reached into his cloak to draw out payment for the remainder of the drink. As he handed the money over, Sasuke gave Suigetsu a pointed look.

"Enji," he said to the barkeep, "My friends are looking for that group that came through here about a month ago."

Enji set six glasses of saké on the bar before them and Suigetsu waisted no time taking a seat to toss back his share. Sasuke nodded to his soldiers and they grabbed at theirs eagerly.

"You know, the ones in those weird masks," Suigetsu emphasized his next words with a raise of his brows, "The Aka - ,"

"Yeah, I remember them," Enji said stiffly, "What about it?"

"Are they still here?"

"Nah, they left that night," Enji stroked the end of his beard, "Nearly cleaned me out, but they payed well."

"Thanks, Enji," Suigetsu took up the glass that Sasuke hadn't touched and drank it down in a single gulp, "I'll see you around."

Suigetsu waved and stood from the bar, but Sasuke stopped him with a hand to his chest.

"Where did they go?" Sasuke asked bluntly, the command in his voice calling the attention of the other patrons. Enji narrowed his eyes, bristling at the bluntness of his attitude.

"They did not share that information with me," he said coldly.

"Are you sure?" Sasuke questioned.

"We should go," Suigetsu whispered harshly, "This is not a place you want to start a fight."

Glancing sideways at him, Sasuke clenched his fist and felt the prickle of pain shoot up his arm.

"He said they are not here," Suigetsu reasoned, "He would not lie to us."

"Would you?" Sasuke challenged, causing Suigetsu to grimace.

"I have no cause to," he shook his head, "You are the only reason I am still breathing."

"Hn," Sasuke gritted his teeth and turned on his heel, storming out of the tavern with his soldiers close behind. When they were out of earshot, a good distance into the center of the village, Sasuke spoke again, "It means nothing. They could still be here."

"This place isn't very big," Suigetsu argued, "He would know if they were still here."

"Where else did you go that night?" Sasuke interrogated him.

"To the inn," Suigetsu admitted, "But that was all!"

"Keep an eye on him," Sasuke spat to his soldiers and barged towards the inn. He threw the doors open.

"Can I help you?" The woman behind the desk narrowed her eyes at him.

"I am looking for a group of men in masks, are they here?"

"No," she said carefully, eyes flicking about him as though she were searching for something, "They left some time ago."

"Where were they going?" He persisted.

"I do not know," she stammered, "They did not say."

Sasuke let out a frustrated growl and left, ambling back up the road to his troops.

"They are not here," the pain in his arm was throbbing now, and he could feel the trickle of blood seeping through his bandages, "We should get back to the caravan."

"Does that mean I am free to go?" Suigetsu asked hopefully.

"No," Sasuke's voice was a deadly timbre, "You will remain with us, until I say otherwise."

Suigetsu's shoulders slumped as Sasuke led them back to the horses.

"They must have only been passing through," Sasuke said to Kakashi, peeling off the bloodied wrappings around his forearm. He jerked his head towards Suigetsu who was leaning against one of the wagons, his hands bound once more, "What do we do with him?"

"I always wanted a pet," Kakashi responded with snark. Sasuke smirked, but it faltered as he examined the deep laceration on the back of his arm below his wrist. In the dark of night, his blood appeared black, unceremoniously smeared along the length of the wound and around it. He winced as the air hit it. Kakashi pointed at it with a stern finger, "That will scar."

"You think so?"

Kakashi nodded.

"But it will be worse if we don't get you to a proper medic with the right supplies. We should keep moving; we can rest the next night. I will write my report tomorrow. No point staying here any longer," Kakashi stood from the ground, peering at Sasuke who had yet to look up from his wound. There was a peculiar gleam in his eye, "You afraid of a little scar?"

Sasuke glowered at him, lowering his hand and using it to push himself to his feet. He swallowed the sharp pain that shot through him.

"Let's go."

Sasuke did not bother to redress in his armor, he could not bear it while the affliction of his wound radiated throughout his body. His head was throbbing, he was parched and hungry, and though his mind raced, his body needed sleep, but instead, he went about helping the other soldiers ready the caravan for departure. They would push through night, through the pass, onward to the front. He would be able to rest there. But until then, he would keep going.

Sasuke spared himself a moment to look up at the clear sky, at the blazing stars that shined down on him.

This is what he had always wanted, what he had always dreamed of. So why did he feel so -

"May I keep one?"

"What?" He asked incredulously. She frowned at his reaction and clutched the dagger to her chest, the steel puckering the fabric of her kimono.

"You have plenty," she tried to attempt at humor, smiling wryly, "Surely you won't miss one."

"No," he said curtly and held his hand out. She stepped back and hit the rough bark of a tree.

"I won't use it, I will only keep it under my pillow," she bargained, "For protection."

"Give me the knife, Sakura," he stepped imposingly toward her, but she straightened herself defiantly.

"No," she narrowed her eyes at him, "I need it more than you do."

Sasuke sighed, shoulders slumping. Her knuckles were white from how tightly she gripped the hilt of the blade.

"You are safe."

"For now," she bit out.

"Yes," he agreed, "But you will have no need for that."

"But, I - ,"

"Not while I am here."

Sakura looked up into the dark pools of his eyes, the black of them bleeding into the night around her, swallowing the light of the moon as he closed the distance between them.

"I can protect myself," she protested.

"I know you can," he said with a subtle smirk, "But I would be more concerned with you stabbing me in the middle of the night."

Beneath the humor in his tone and behind the mirth in his eyes, there was something else. An uncertainty, maybe, a hesitation. He said he trusted her, but why would he not give her this one little thing? Why would he not let her have this peace of mind? She could not rely on his strength forever. She wanted to rely on hers. She needed to know her own worth. She needed to know that she was more than an heir to a throne, more than an Emperor's daughter, more than the love she had for this man. She did not doubt that he knew more about her than she herself did, but maybe that is why he hesitated. Maybe he knew something about her that she did not.

Sakura twirled the hilt in her hand until the point of the blade kissed the peek of skin visible through the neckline of her kimono. He took the knife from her slackened fingers and pocketed it with the others strapped to his waist.

"Only if you provoke me," her lips quirked into a smile and he felt relief flood through him. She was a quick learner and a spirited fighter, but he did not wish to perpetuate fantasies of a life she could not have. Not that she should want it, he thought. He knew the notion was irrational, but he often believed that if she had the opportunity now that she would be the one to rush into danger. If there was another attack on the palace, she would take her place beside the other guards to defend her home.

Well, not if he could help it. He would not see her with a blade to her throat again. He would not lose another person he cared about.

He was staring up at the same sky, but it was a different forest, a different part of this land, a different night spent on his silk sheet of grass.

"See something up there?"

Sasuke's eyes shot open to see Suigetsu bent over him, a sardonic grin on his face. With a grimace, Sasuke pulled himself up and Suigetsu took it as an invitation to sit beside him, bound hands dangling between his knees.

"Why is it you do not sleep with the rest of them?"

Sasuke did not spare him a sideways glance and instead stared out into the cluster of trees in front of him.

"Are you lonely?"

His eyes snapped up to Suigetsu's where he glared sharply at the man.

I am only now reminded of the fragility of it all. . .

What kind of question was that?

"Do not be ashamed," Suigetsu laughed boisterously, "I am, too."

"You were part of a band of thieves," Sasuke said patently.

"It kept me wealthy enough," Suigetsu agreed, lips quirked upward, "And I enjoy cutting people with sharp things."

Sasuke grimaced and looked away from him, his gaze back on the trees once more. He noticed that the shadows seemed a little bit darker that night, the moon a little less brilliant, the forest a little too big.

"Do you ever think about making a run for it?" Suigetsu asked suddenly, the humor fading from his tone, "Just leaving it all behind? Going out on your own?"

Sasuke bowed his head, unable to keep himself from pondering the question.

"Desertion," he said, fisting his hands together, "It is a crime punishable by death."

"If they catch you," Suigetsu bargained, "Otherwise you are a free man."

"A dishonorable one," Sasuke corrected him.

"But free," Suigetsu amended.

Sasuke struggled to quell the memory that lurked just beyond those words, the memory of Itachi returning from war, from killing the Harunos' sole male heir, from deserting the Emperor.

"Did you hear that?" Suigetsu sucked in a sharp breath and Sasuke's eyes shot up.

"What?"

"Listen," Suigetsu pointed with his bound hands to the edge of the trees. They sat still, but nothing rose above the leaves that rustled with the wind.

"More bandits?" Sasuke quipped humorlessly, shaking his head as he got to his feet.

"No, I swear, I heard something," Suigetsu scrambled up, a feat given his captive state. Sasuke narrowed his eyes; he refused to be played for a fool.

"Go back to the camp," he instructed him, "You have had enough freedom for one night."

"We are only a couple days out now," Kakashi said as they rode ahead of the caravan. They once more had found the coverage of trees along their path to the battlefield. But even with the lack of armor, Sasuke found it did little to assuage his discomfort, "How is your arm?"

"Fine," Sasuke said stiffly, tightening his grip as he held the reins.

"Let me see," Kakashi prodded. Sasuke spared him a glance before returning his gaze to the road ahead. With his good arm, he lifted the loose sleeve of his tunic to expose the wound. He waited for Kakashi to say something, but was met with only silence.

"Well?" Sasuke urged him.

"Take this," Kakashi reached for a small gourd strapped to his horse, "Pour it on."

Sasuke took the gourd begrudgingly and heard the slosh of liquid inside. His horse on a steady course, he released the reins and held his arm out. Clamping his teeth over the cork, he yanked it free and raised the mouth of the gourd over the laceration, then tipped it over.

The sting was instant, a scorching pain that flared from the site of the wound and sent tingling aftershocks through his body. His teeth dug into the cork as he hissed. But even after he stopped the flow of alcohol, it continued to burn.

"Now it is less likely to be infected," Kakashi snatched the gourd back from Sasuke, emptying the remaining contents down his gullet, "You should thank me. I will not be able to get more of this until I return to the palace."

"Hn," Sasuke grunted through his set jaw, his mind was too dizzied from the pain to comprehend humor, "Thank you."

"How is our prisoner?"

"I have had complaints," Sasuke took up his reins again, glancing down at the somewhat cleaned cut that traveled through his forearm. The blood that had dried around it had been re-wetted by the alcohol, leaving a scaly painting on his skin.

"From the soldiers?"

"Yes," Sasuke looked up to the horizon, "They say he talks too much."

Kakashi chuckled heartily.

"He does," Sasuke affirmed, "When can we be rid of him?"

"He might be useful," Kakashi shrugged.

"He is a thief," Sasuke protested, "He has no loyalty."

"That could change," Kakashi mused, "You would be surprised, I was somewhat of a rebel myself when I was younger."

I know you, in all of your honest altruism. . .

"Hn."

He ran his fingers along the edge of the gash on his forearm, tracing the winding line where his skin had been split open all the way to where it rejoined. He had suffered injuries before, in training, in the attack on the palace, but never anything like this. Never something in the heat of a battle.

Never something so severe.

Out here, there was no infirmary to go to for treatment, to recover in.

But, she was also not here to visit him, to tend to him, to sit by his side with worry in her eyes and love on her lips.

Sasuke let his arm fall to his side and looked out into the trees. Behind him, the noise from his troops crescendoed as they laughed at something that was said. He supposed he should be with them, reveling in their merriment, but all he could think about was what awaited him at the end of this journey. They would arrive at the battlefield, and then what?

Glory? Riches and a hero's welcome home? Where would home be after the war was over? Would he go back to the palace? Go back to her? Sasuke pulled himself up slowly and meandered forward, away from his fellow troops.

If she was not already married, she would not take him back. She would not welcome him with open arms into her heart, into her bed. Not after what he did.

So what would he do? What else did he have, if not for this war?

He slipped into the shadows of the forest and let the darkness engulf him.

. . . I know we are doomed. . .

Thwack!

Sasuke whipped around at the sound of a blade slicing through the air, right past his ear. He could see it lodged in the tree behind him. He turned back rapidly and looked up to the trees that ruffled in the summer wind, scanning them as best he could in the dim light. As he took a step forward, the call of a thrush disrupted the silence.

His hand went to curl around the hilt of his sword, ready to unsheathe it, when he realized he didn't have it. Suddenly, a loud snap sounded from behind him. He rotated sharply and saw Suigetsu sauntering towards him.

"Why are you out here all al - ,"

Sasuke held a finger to his lips and Suigetsu clamped up. Slowly, Sasuke turned back around, eyes cast to the ground as he passed over every silhouette cast by every limb from every tree that surrounded them.

And then he saw it.

He only let his gaze rest for a moment, careful not to give away his knowledge of the man kneeling on a high branch above them, the shape of which was visible in the grass at his feet. He turned on his foot, as if to retreat from the figure.

"We should go back to the camp," Sasuke raised his voice just enough that it would be carried to the man hiding in the trees. Suigetsu nodded, understanding his meaning, and made to retreat from the forest. Sasuke approached the blade stuck in the tree, reaching a hand up to examine it; a kunai. With lightning speed, he ripped it from the tree and flung himself around, unleashing the blade in the direction of the figure.

A sharp clink echoed through the trees and the kunai came flying back at them. Sasuke rolled out of the way, then shot to his feet and took off after the assailant. He could see him now, moving through the trees like an acrobat, jumping from branch to branch.

"Sasuke!" he heard Suigetsu calling after him, but he kept running, eyes turned up, glued to the man. His heart raced and his arm throbbed from the force of the throw. Faintly, he could feel the dribble of blood winding down his wrist, dripping off his fingers. His breathing became shallow and the edges of his vision blurred. But he could not stop, he had to catch him.

The zing of another kunai sailing towards him caused him to stumble out of the way, faltering in his footing, but he was quick to recover, storming through the trees. Behind him, Suigetsu was peeling after him, bound hands held outward.

"Sasuke!"

The rush of his blood pounding in his ears washed out every other sound as his vision shrunk to the size of a pinhole. Then, he felt the ground before he realized he'd fallen. His head had the weight of a brick as he tried to lift it in time to see the figure dashing away from him.

"Sasuke!" Suigetsu slid to his knees and grabbed the hem of Sasuke's tunic. He took it in his teeth and pulled with his shackled hands to rip the material. His knee pressed into Sasuke's palm as he held him in place and tried to slide the material under his wrist, "I need your help! Grab the other end of this!"

His vision all but black, Sasuke's good arm flailed in the air until he felt Suigetsu shove the cloth into his hand.

"Good," Suigetsu commended him and Sasuke felt a sharp tug followed by a sudden pressure like someone was squeezing the area of his wound, "We need to get you back to camp. You need a doctor."

He needed her, he thought dimly. She would know what to do. All those medical journals -

Sasuke blinked his eyes open to see an odd look of relief on Suigetsu's face.

"You blacked out," he said, "Only for a minute or two."

"Why are you here?" Sasuke's voice cracked from exhaustion.

"I just helped you, you ungrateful ass," he snapped.

"Why did they let you wander off alone?" Sasuke sat up too quickly and touched a hand to his head as his vision swam.

"I told them I needed to relieve myself. Don't think anybody wanted to watch that," he grinned, "I saw you go off on your own, thought you could use some company."

"Hn."

"Now do you believe me? I told you I saw something the other night."

Sasuke nodded limply.

"Here," Suigetsu fished in the pocket of his pants and pulled out a kunai, "Picked it up when you ran off."

Sasuke took it from him with his good hand and held it up. It was difficult to see in only the moonlight, but he could almost make out the swirling cloud engraved on the face of the blade. He pocketed the kunai and hoisted himself up on one arm. Suigetsu followed him, hands reaching out as Sasuke wobbled.

"Let's get back to camp. I need to tell Kakashi-san."

"Take it easy, go slow," Suigetsu instructed him, "Put your arm around me."

Sasuke glared at him.

"Well it is my fault," he pointed out, "It's the least I can do."

Ignoring him, Sasuke walked forward, taking careful steps to even his pace. The tie around his wound had at least staunched the bleeding, but the pain of its constriction was difficult to ignore. Suigetsu stayed closed behind until they reached the caravan. He and Sasuke approached Kakashi where he sat with a few other soldiers before a small fire, talking idly. Sasuke reached into his pocket and gripped the blade.

"We're being followed," he dropped the kunai on the ground in front of Kakashi. The chatter around them stopped and Kakashi scooped up the kunai, holding it to the fire.

"You encountered one of them?"

"He ran off before I could catch him," the disappointment and frustration in Sasuke's voice was evident.

"But they have not attacked us yet," Kakashi mused curiously.

"Scouts maybe," Sasuke suggested.

"You should sit down," Suigetsu hissed quietly and Sasuke shot him a warning glare.

"Konoha steel," Kakashi murmured, running his fingers over the Akatsuki symbol, "You can see where the emblem used to be. They probably heated it until it was malleable enough to carve the cloud in."

The other soldiers watched aptly as Kakashi examined it further.

"They have infiltrated Konoha then?" Sasuke asked.

"Maybe," Kakashi thought carefully for a moment, "Or they stole it off the dead."

"I thought the Hokage was protected," Sasuke's brows furrowed.

"His army is formidable, but not invincible," Kakashi said, "They have not been without their casualties. But, this blade looks old, passed down perhaps - generational even."

Kakashi froze when he said that, as though he'd just remembered something. He stood quickly, pocketing the blade.

"I must write my report for the day. Get some sleep, I will have somebody else take your watch," Kakashi called over his shoulder as he walked away, "If they have not attacked us yet, they are not going to tonight."

Sasuke squeezed his arm as he watched Kakashi retreat; the pain was becoming too much of a nuisance to ignore now.

"They know we could not stop you at the pass," Suigetsu whispered as the other troops began talking amongst themselves once more. Sasuke nodded.

"They know we are coming," he affirmed, "And they are prepared."

In the time it takes those words to reach my lips, I have fallen again.

Sasuke had believed that the farther they traveled from the palace, the freer he would find himself to be. Instead, he felt the manacles upon him growing heavier the closer they came to the battlefield. And now, miles from the front, all he could think of was what he had left behind and the line that he had crossed in doing so.

He could no longer feel the marks on his back, the evidence of her pleasure that she had imparted on him. A week ago they were scars, today, only memories. He peered down at the bandage over his arm. Every inch of him that had belonged to her touch would be reclaimed through swords and blood and battle, until he was nothing more than a slave to this war. Less than a man, less than a person, less to be loved.

When he saw the wooden structures and canvas tents come into view, his heart stopped. A group of soldiers manning the border caught sight of them and waved them excitedly forward. Their arrival was a blur of gratitude and spouted commands and instructions, troops being pulled this way and that, but Sasuke stood in the middle of it all, dismounted beside his horse. An ostler came up to him to take the reins and lead the steed to the stables. Sasuke reluctantly let go, listless as he waited to be told where to go or what to do.

"Get to the infirmary."

Sasuke stiffened, he had not heard Kakashi come up behind him.

"There will be plenty of time to look around later," he assured him, "But right now you need to be stitched up."

Vaguely, Sasuke nodded, but even when Kakashi walked away, called over by some soldier, he remained rooted to the spot. He wasn't sure what it was he was waiting for, but then he heard it.

That familiar voice caught his ear and he turned about faster than should have been possible for his level of fatigue. He watched for a long moment as the blonde-haired general barked orders at different soldiers in his regiment. It had been years, years, but it looked as though he'd hardly changed a bit. The war had undoubtedly taken its toll, Sasuke was certain of that, but somehow, he had managed to maintain that same stupid grin on his face.

"Hey, dobe!" Sasuke yelled out, scarcely able to contain his own smirk when Naruto looked up startled and saw him. In a second, they were running for each other.

"Teme!" Naruto brought him into a crushing hug and held on long enough for Sasuke to have to shove him off. Even still, Naruto was clutching onto him, his head, his shoulders, any tangible piece that let him know his brother was actually there, standing in front of him. And despite himself, despite the setting, Naruto rested his forehead against Sasuke's and started crying.

The moment did not last long; it was only for the length of a single inhale, maybe even less than that, but it was the sweetest moment he had ever known. It was a moment that he would hold onto for as long as his lungs could draw breath. No matter how many times he blinked, she did not disappear from his grasp. She was still curled intimately against him. She was still naked in his arms. She was still there.

He wished he could pepper her with kisses, paving a path down her spine until she stirred into consciousness. He supposed she might laugh at the action or grumble at being woken from such a deep slumber. She would forgive him though, reciting something sweet about how content she was or how she liked waking up to him. Or perhaps she would simply tell him that she loved him. And he, sharing in her bliss, would be compelled to repeat those words. The weight of their truth, and thus their existence, was not lost on him. In fact, while their inception had caused enough of a disturbance within him, he could never have accounted for the emphatic and utterly untamed chaos that speaking them aloud had created within him.

He did not regret those words, he never would, because she deserved to hear them every day for the rest of her life and it caused a physical ache in his heart that he had not said them sooner. But, they had set in motion an irreparable change between them. Of course, this evolution had begun the moment she had invited him inside her quarters. He was fooling himself by trying to shift the blame onto those three little words he had uttered the previous night. He had expressed them with every kiss upon her lips, with every moment spent between her quivering thighs, and with every night they had sparred in the forest. He had expressed them every evening before the one they had just shared.

And slowly, piece by agonizing piece, she had collected every last fragment of his fractured being until she owned him completely. He belonged to her, this lithe woman that lay in his arms, unconsciously oblivious to his plight. As if she could hear his thoughts, her hand twitched against his chest. He reached his free arm up to clasp her fingers in his. She stilled, making a soft, placid sound against his skin.

It was in that fleeting, but whole, moment that he saw, he felt, he knew peace for the first time in all his years. It was in that moment that he was able to glimpse the life he might have had; the life spent at her side and in her bed. A life of love and fulfillment. A life made up of nights like the one they had just shared, but also of nights that they had yet to experience. A life where he might walk beside her and hold her hand or kiss her in the illuminated exposure of the day. A life where he could love her without shame or fear or remorse.

It was a life of fortune, freedom, and hope. It was a life of belonging.

And it terrified him.

The light began to seep through the fabric of her curtains and, though he had not succumbed to sleep as she had in the wee hours before dawn, it woke him from his idyllic trance. It crept slowly across the slats of her floors, pouring onto her sheets, bleeding into his world until it muddled his bliss and, finally, it kissed the length of her hair that covered her bare back.

And that was the moment he knew it was time for him to leave. He had overstayed his welcome, in the palace and in her heart. He had nothing to offer her but the empty promises and splintered aspirations of a disgraced man. So he slipped quietly out of her bed and dressed himself in his uniform. Sasuke did not look back as he lifted her window, angling it to avoid the loud squeak, and snuck out of her rooms.

When he walked around the back of her quarters he looked up, out towards the gardens. The sky was too clear, the world was too bright, the day was too perfect. But what was most disparaging was that he knew he would never see a sight so beautiful again. The palace grounds he had called his home for so many years would soon be replaced with a forest of trees, a ramshackle tent, and a bloody battleground. The years of adolescence with his brother, the months spent training his recruits, the days sparring in the forest at night, the hours escorting her through the gardens, those precious minutes spent hidden beneath the branches of the willow tree, and the sparse seconds of pure elation exchanged through three words; like the threads of the tapestry that made him, or the paint on a canvas that depicted him, or the footsteps in the ground that paved his path, they would all be undone with time. They would loosen and evanesce and erode, until he was left only with a murky recollection of what once had been.

He looked out over the still lake, everything appearing serene as the sun rose to bathe the world in its golden luminance. Not even a modest breeze disturbed the pendulous leaves of the willow tree. It was almost as if time had frozen for him. Much like that one quiet morning in winter when she had enthralled him with curious sentiments and puzzling questions, the vast absence that surrounded him seemed to watch on in devoted veneration and rapt anticipation for what he might do. Now, he found himself at another crossroad and the world around him bore witness to his strife.

A hawk soared overhead, screeching as it came to perch on a paneled roof nearby, disturbing the pensive calm.

His face fell, his time was up. This, too, would become just a memory, a series of incoherent emotions and scenes that wove into some distorted mosaic that lived on solely in his mind, existing no longer as a piece of history, but as a cruel memento of what could have been.

He turned towards the barracks.

This is what he had always wanted, what he had always dreamed of.

So why did he feel so empty?

Sasuke,

I have fallen and I did not realize it would hurt so much. Of the countless letters I have received, I have never felt so compelled to write one.

Never before have I been so haunted by such feelings, but to utter them aloud is to do them a disservice. No poet nor author of prose could conjure words worthy to express my love for you. You may think me silly, foolish, ignorant - well, in truth, I do not know your thoughts for me. There are times when you come to me in a fury, claiming my heart with your passion as you do my body with your touch. But there are also times when you have been more cold and harsh than the winter outside these walls.

My love, I address you as such, because to call you anything else simply will not do. Though I know we are doomed, you fill me with such passion and hope that I laugh at the very notion we might one day be parted. Perhaps I am mad to do so, but alas, this madness is the only satisfaction I have known in this life. Would that I could stay in this delusion forevermore.

I am only now reminded of the fragility of it all as you lay on a bed in the infirmary. Certainly, this should deter me, frighten me, yet it imbues me with a motivation to seize what I want while I still can. I know you, in all of your honest altruism, will hope to discourage such feelings from me. But I wish you to know, nothing you have done, nothing you do, could have stopped this.

I was yours the moment my name left your lips.

And I continue to be, for now, and for as long as you will have me.

In the time it takes those words to reach my lips, I have fallen again.

So I remain by your side, endlessly yours,

Sakura

Sasuke's hands shook the longer he stared at the dainty scrawl of her handwriting. The thickness in his throat made it difficult for him to swallow the sentiments her words had inspired in him. He ran his thumb over the edges of the parchment that were tattered from the many times he had folded and unfolded it over the course of his journey to the front.

He sat up in the gurney, reaching over the side with his left arm to grab for his pack. His right, having been stitched up, bandaged, and numbed by some cream they had given him, was practically useless, so he struggled to dig inside the pockets with one hand. Finally, his fingers got hold of what he was searching for and he pulled out the little metal key to her rooms.

Placing it in the center of her letter, he folded the parchment at each crease, until the key was carefully secured inside of it. He stroked the indention of it thoughtfully, before slipping it into the left breast pocket of his tunic. The weight of it sat heavy on his heart as he leaned back on the pillows of the gurney.

But as he lay there, he began to marvel at the prospect of sleep. He could rest now, at least until tomorrow. He did not know what awaited him then, but for once, for now, it did not matter. So he let himself fall back into the darkness, grateful for it that night, as it swallowed him completely.