Oh, What a Spectacle!

Chapter 1

Blurry (Prologue)

Lunch at Beacon Academy was proceeding as usual, with not a single thing amiss. Birds were singing, the sun was shining, students were socializing, and Jaune had just gotten his figurative emotional salad punched by Cardin for the umpteenth time. Despite many offers of breaking legs from Nora, a comforting hand on the shoulder (as well as surprisingly and disturbingly vivid fantasies of punching groins, pulling teeth, and breaking noses) from Pyrrha Nikos, and emotional support from Team RWBY and Ren, Jaune was content to shrug it off in the usual manner. Of course, this did not sit well with our adorably precocious young heroine, Ruby Rose, who was determined to steer the group towards happy thoughts, banishing such depressing (and downright vicious) thoughts from their minds.

The question remained... what would she do? She had exhausted most usual avenues of conversation before Jaune joined them at the table, from the recent Grimm Studies test which all of them, save for classic overachiever Weiss and ultra bookworm Blake, had utterly bombed. She was pretty sure they were all tired of hearing about her 'bodying skills' at Ultimate Brawl Four, and really, who wanted to hear about that time that she walked in on Weiss trying to sing in the mirror?

So, she had to come up with an unusual question that would stimulate thought. Something interesting...

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Goodwitch sitting at the far table, watching all of the students from behind her glasses.

'Light bulb!'

Ruby took a breath, and threw out her idea.

"Can you guys see me with glasses?"

Her friends all gave her an odd look, before studying her, trying to cop a visual of their favorite little rascal in a pair of bifocals.

"Nope!" Nora said, popping the 'p'. "Don't see it."

"I agree with Nora, it would be... unbecoming of you."

"What's that supposed to mean, Weiss?" Ruby asked, indignant.

"Glasses are... well... they're something you associate with sophistication, intellect, and class."

Jaune's mental gears were suddenly grinding at full speed, driving like mad attempting to come up with some scheme to look sophisticated, intellectual, and classy. And it now most definitely required some nice frames.

"And?" Ruby asked, leaning over, attempting to understand what she was getting at. Yang leaned over her sister, giving Weiss a glare that informed her that her next words would decide if she got to keep her hair in that nice and pristine condition.

"Uh... I just don't think it would look right on you."

"Oh..."

Yang's glare dissipated, replaced with a big, boisterous smile. "I, for one, think my sis would look adorable with glasses!"

"It kind of depends on what kind, really," Ren said, thinking. "Your hair color, your face shape, and your personality are all things you have to take into consideration when you purchase glasses."

"And Ren should know, he used to have some!" Nora added. "They were long and boxy and SUPER shiny and he looked like a nerd! But a really cool nerd!"

"I'm glad you liked them, but I'm afraid my farsightedness is far easier to correct with contact lenses. Plus, cleaning them was tedious..."

Ruby thought about it for a moment, and had one of her few good ideas. "Ooh! I have an idea!"

"Shoot," Pyrrha said, genuinely curious, although a bit worried about what might come out of the little ball of fire's mouth.

"I'll get some glasses and start wearing them. Then we'll see if I look cool!"

"Seems legit," Jaune said, poking at the food on his tray.

"Sounds fine by me," Blake said, face buried in a book (She silently thanked whatever gods existed that she had found a way to cut open pages in order to hide a smaller book on the internet, ensuring that she never had to put down a new edition of Ninjas of Love due to heading out in public. She would not rest until she found out which of his harem the main character was going to choose).

"Alright! I'll have new glasses by tomorrow!" Ruby said, smiling.

That evening, after he and Pyrrha finished their daily spar, Jaune Arc was a man on a mother fucking mission. He was going to find a bomb set of specs, so help him Oum, and nothing would be able to stop him from doing it. Only an act of the almighties themselves would stop his righteous crusade.

Okay, that was a little grandiose...

Really, it was just another case of his glaring lack of self confidence. Weiss had said she associated glasses with 'sophistication, intellect, and class.' He liked to think he had at least a few of those things, and Oum knows he wanted nothing more than for her to at least think somewhat positively of him.

So, here he was, after class, looking up glasses frames on his Scroll. When he should be studying for his Geography test. Which he would probably forget to do. As usual. His team were all sitting around him, none of them seeming to question what exactly he was doing.

"So, Pyrrha, I can understand why I failed that exam, but how did you? You're like, a study GOD!" Nora inquired, throwing her arms out to emphasize 'God'.

"She would be a 'Goddess', Nora," Ren gently corrected her.

"To-may-to, To-mah-to!" Nora jibed, blowing a raspberry at her partner, before booping him on the nose. "Boop!"

Pyrrha rolled her eyes. "I was up all night," she admitted. "I didn't get to sleep until early this morning, and I didn't wake up until thirty minutes after class started..."

"What kept you up, Pyr?" Jaune asked, looking up from his Scroll.

"The munchies? Questioning the meaning of life? WONDERING WHAT THE SLOTH SOUNDS LIKE?" Nora guessed.

"I think you're the only person on Remnant that asks that question, Nora," Ren says, although a smile was tugging at his lips. Nora made some kind of odd sound halfway between a monkey and an Ursa, with a weird chirp for good measure, causing Pyrrha to flinch at the one woman audio cataclysm. "But seriously, what kept you up, Pyrrha?"

"I wa-" Pyrrha stopped, looking off to the side. "... Nothing. I just wasn't tired." She threw a look at Ren, who nodded, with a small frown. Nora attempted to figure out what was being said, but the little amount of energy her brain was not spending on imagining jumping Ren and taking his card right then and there, forcing Pyrrha to do likewise with everyone's favorite noodle, questioning the subtle nuances of the human psyche, or wondering exactly WHAT THE FUCK A SLOTH SOUNDS LIKE was far too little to comprehend such a loaded and well-hidden non-verbal message. Jaune remained in his usual, oblivious state, he couldn't possibly understand what in the one, two, red or blue hells what was going on. He had finally found what kind of glasses he was looking for, and he tapped the screen.

'TWO HUNDRED LIEN!?' He inwardly screamed, staring at the figure underneath the glasses. It counted sales tax already, but still! Such a steep price for a chance at a date that may or may not even work out. Unfortunately for Jaune's savings fund, hormones won the day, and it was now 200 lien the poorer. The glasses would be ready tomorrow, and he would go and pick them up at the store.

"Jaune, is something wrong?" Pyrrha asked, tilting her head at her team leader. He seemed awful engrossed in his scroll.

"No, I'm good. Just shopping."

Somewhere, deep in her heart, Pyrrha hoped against hope that he was buying something for her, unlikely as that may be. "Anything in particular?"

"No, just browsing around."

"Oh... okay."

"Yaaaaaaaaang..."

Ruby was curled up in a tiny ball on her bed, groaning in agony at having made a decision she just now started to regret. She never realized that glasses were the territory of nerds until after ruminating on the matter for a while. Not even necessarily cute nerds, like Weiss! Just nerds in general! Ruby wouldn't make a cute nerd!

Yang sat down next to her sister, sighing. "Rubes, you don't have to go through with this if you don't want to. It's just a thing you said among friends, no one's gonna hold you to it like you made a blood oath!"

Ruby sat up, somehow still holding her ball form.

"I'm scared I'm gonna look stupid."

Yang scoffed, indignant at the sheer audacity of such a statement. Her little Ruby? Look stupid? Like fucking HELL!

"Honey, you will look many things, but you will NOT look stupid. Leave it to your big sis to ensure that!"

"But, still, what if the others think it looks nerdy?"

Yang sighed, exasperated at her sister's lack of confidence when it came to her peers. Sure, she was a bubbly bundle of sugar and fire in public, but she always worried about what her friends thought of her behind closed doors. Luckily, she had Qrow and Taiyang to keep her from falling in with a crowd that could pressure her into actions she would regret, but it was still sort of upsetting to the blonde. After giving it a moment of thought, Yang decided that, just this one time, she would sacrifice her sex appeal on the altar of familial love.

But Ruby was gonna owe her for this if it backfired.

"... would it make you feel better if I wore a pair, too?"

"Yang, you don't have to-"

Yang stopped her with a palm to the face, assuming an almost saintly pose as she proceeded to outline the basic premise of her selfless plan of action, which was certainly not motivated by the fact that, should all else fail, she would at least get paid back.

"Ah, of course! I would LOVE to buy us some glasses in order to help you boost your self confidence and make you look better in comparison, since I'm such a GREAT and LOVING elder sibling!"

"Yang, I never-"

Yang put her smaller sister in a headlock, grinning ear to ear. "Shush, Ruby! You don't need to thank me, its what I do! Uncle Qrow can live with slightly less alcohol, anyway!"

"Yang you need to- Wait... You're going to use THAT money?"

"Did you really think I was gonna waste my allowance on this, Rubes? Or my credit card? Have you lost your mind? Come on, we're going shopping!"

Oh, Ruby knew DAMN well what they meant by shopping. She doubted they'd be home by nightfall.

The eyeglasses store, 'Four Seasons Vision and Care', was relatively empty, save for a woman in a white coat, and a guy at the register. They had a slow shift so far, considering that it was a Wednesday. The doorbell rang as someone walked in, and the guy put on his best 'buy some really expensive shit because I'm really fucking nice to you' smile, and looked up at the incoming customer. "Good evening, anything you-"

The blonde flipped her hair as she walked through the doors, swaying her hips in time to the elevator music he had assumed couldn't possibly have any possible effect on anyone.

God. DAYUM.

While he tried to keep his composure somewhere between 'oh my god please don't leave I'm lonely and I have no life' and 'Please buy nice things so I can indirectly complement you and possibly passive-aggressively ask you for your phone number,' he did have to assist the customer. He retried. "Anything in particular you're looking for today?"

The blonde turned to face him, lilac eyes meeting his as the little, pale girl beside her looked around at all the frames. "Yeah, actually. I'm looking for glasses for me and my sister."

"Corrective or Cosmetic?"

"Cosmetic," she replied.

"Alright, can you give me a ballpark of what you're looking for?"

"I'm looking for something smart-looking. You know, big, thick, cute?"

"Okay, follow me."

He led them to a display, running his hand past the display, pointing at the individual frames and running through ideas in his head. "How about these?" He takes off a large, thick rimmed and round pair, which Yang took a hold of, and haphazardly slung over the bridge of her nose. "Rubes, what do you think?"

Ruby looked up at her older sister, humming in thought. "Um... Yeah, I like it!"

The glasses guy respectfully held his peace to avoid opening his mouth, and possibly drooling on the floor. He looked over at the smaller girl. "W-what about you?"

"She wants something HAWT!" Yang says, throwing her arm around the Ruby. "Ain't that right?"

The girl looks at him as if she expects me to help her. He suddenly had a feeling that this was going to be very, very, painful...

This story is a prompt from GlassedGamer, who is officially a certified G for giving me a shot in the arm writing wise. This is probably the only prompt I'll do for him, but any writers who look at this should take a look at his profile and pick up a prompt!

Also, I'm staring at the RWBY TvTropes character page to make absolutely, positively sure that I'm characterizing everyone 100 percent accurately. And trust me, I know glasses. I work at a spec store in the mall.

All the women's glasses in this story are based on a real life line called Fetch Eyewear, a women's (despite what the website tells you) line which is extremely popular in my neck of the woods. The two boys are both going to rock designer frames, because that's the thing for guys now (Ralph Lauren, PLR, Armani, etc. Expensive, but nice.) I'll be posting exactly what they are for anyone who wants a visual.

Ruby: Alex Noir- can't go wrong with the classics.
Yang: Tracy Onyx- big frames are adorable and dorky. Adorkable?

Jaune: Armani Exchange AX1017 Tan- the current rich kid fashion.