Summery: Itachi ponders within himself and the girl who loved him.
Rating: K+
Itachi was never good at showing his feelings.
As a man who showed no emotion to the entire world, save for the few whom he was closest to, feelings were not often a part of himself that he dwelled into. They saw him as cold and unfeeling, socially awkward, and scary as the seven pits of hell with merely a hardened look.
He put all of his focus in his ninja career, leaving no room for compassion or hesitation toward the victims he takes down.
He was a manipulator and a torturer.
He was a true weapon of Konoha, feared by all the villages in the five nations. There was nothing more impressive and utterly terrifying as a ninja like Itachi Uchiha to the whole world. And he wouldn't have it any other way.
Not in public.
There were very few people whom were truly precious to him.
And even fewer whom he opened up to.
For a long time, ever since he had gone to war as a child, he hadn't known how to express his emotions like a normal human being, let alone live like one.
He didn't even care to be like one.
But with Izumi, he did not have to be any of those things. He could just simply be Itachi.
He would feel all the tension in his body relax whenever feeling her arms wrap around him in a warm, loving embrace, to remind him that he was not alone. That she was there for him. From the time when she first defended him from bullies, he had become open to a side of her that had become a major influence on his entire life.
He didn't know why she would stick her neck out for someone like him. After all, he had ignored and brushed her off as no one important in his own inner-circle the previous times.
It turned out that she too believed in a world of peace. And she liked him.
The more Itachi got to know her, the more he realized that their methods of obtaining peace were not quite the same. Putting herself between him and those older kids had proved that. He had been prepared to fight out of necessity, not desire...but she acted as a shield and scared them off with her eyes.
He wondered what they could have done if her Sharingan hadn't activated…or rather, what she could have done.
When the question was brought up to her, Izumi later confessed that she had absolutely no idea. She had feared for Itachi's well-being and her body just moved on its own, reacting to his defense. She had won his respect that day.
Since then, they had become friends. Itachi had been extremely curious about Izumi Uchiha, a girl who hated violence and yet chose to become a kunoichi. She could be as expressive as an open book, as bright as the morning sun, and as pure as clear water…and yet somehow, to Itachi, she still remained a mystery.
As time would pass, the more he got to know her, the more he would look forward to seeing her. There was just unique about her cheerful demeanor that lessened the weight in his heart whenever he was around her. She made him feel strange things that he couldn't place, not with thoughts that she wouldn't understand.
A ninja felt no emotions. A ninja was a tool to be used whenever necessary. A ninja's life was dark and bloody, filled with nothing but tragedy and war.
There was so much Itachi dreamed of changing, yet time again and again had proven that it was nearly impossible to be capable of discarding the original rules of a ninja embedded in his mind. He feared that, even with Shisui's help, even he would be helpless to accomplish such a dream. No matter how much power he obtained.
All he had to do was look at Izumi, the girl who loved him, and then he would realize…that she was his peace.
She gave it to him in the dark world he struggled to conquer. Her faith and loyalty gave him the strength to endure. Her smile would remind him that there was more to him than a prodigy with the mind of a calculator.
If nothing else, he would do it for her. Because she, more than anyone else, more than even his little brother, was the one person whom he did not want to ever hurt.
.
Then it had been realized that the real problem between them was that while she gave him her trust entirely in the beginning, it had wavered when at a time of conflict between them, he didn't trust her back.
There had been a vicious ache in his chest when she argued with him, that he wouldn't tell her anything, that he always kept his distance and remained indifferent toward anything she had to say to him. Even though he wanted more than anything to tell her. Tell her everything that was happening. Believe so badly that she would be able to handle it, even be a big help...
.
…But in the end, he couldn't do it.
It was perhaps one of two choices that would forever haunt him.
.
He couldn't pull her this far into his world.
His dark, dark world.
She was day and he was night.
Revolving one another. Touching, mingling, reuniting at the crack of dawn or the fall of twilight, before pulling just out of reach. Waiting...
Until the sun darkened from the passing shadow of the moon and clouds, or the night brightened from the colors of the aurora to the glittering company of the cosmos.
.
From the moment he saw the light leave her eyes.
From the moment he felt her body go limp in his arms.
From the moment he glimpsed her tears escaping like glimmering rivers, mingled with all joy and sorrow they could have shared, in a future that would never be.
From the moment he heard her whisper "Thank you," with her final breath.
He had died that night with her.
Everything good that he had become because of her had reverted in an instant.
The rest became an eternal, crimson blur. A world of endless darkness, tainted with blood. A hollow shell wandering with the echo of a purpose.
His duty and love as an older brother was all that kept him going.
All while reminded that he was the man who killed the woman he loved.
.
Itachi was never good at showing his feelings.
But Izumi brought them to light. She brought him to life.
In another world, he would have given her all of his trust, just as she had in him.
In another world, he would shown her just how much he returned her love, and more.
In another world, he would have asked her to marry him.
In another world, he would have given her children.
In another world, he would have been more than willing to spent the rest of his life with her, as her friend, as her lover, and as her husband.
He would have given her everything.
.
Because with her, he was more than he ever dreamed he could be.
And if the world were merciful, if destiny would grant him just one more wish after everything he has done...
…even if he deserved damnation for all the horror he committed, all the mistakes he had made, all the wrongs he had chosen...
.
He would do anything to see her smile one more time.
Meh. It's not ideal, but I hope you feel the angst. Not exactly Valentine material, but the love is there. Oh, well...(This is me trying not to cry *sniff*)
Itachi and Izumi do have a tragic romance, after all. To be honest, this file is more than two years old, but remained unfinished because I was torn between a happy ending or a tragic ending. As you can see, I picked the latter, because I haven't done tragedy yet. Plus, I was desperate to update something.
Anyway, I know you're all impatient for an update on FMH, but I can assure you that the chapter is on its way. I won't make it another six months if I can help it. Thank you for the reviews and all your patience!
Reviews are also welcome for this one:) Let me know if there are any drabble requests to fuel this collection!