Chapter 21 – Reality

As Loki awoke, he noted the pain and exhaustion had vanished. The sleep he'd been placed under seemed to have done its job, and for that he was thankful, as sleep was the last thing he wished to be wasting his time with right now.

His current reality seemed too good to be true, and with the absence of the agonizing pain he had been feeling for weeks, he really wondered if he might be dreaming.

Only one way to find out…

He sat up in bed and immediately detected her presence. She was in the castle, though where, he was unsure. He stood, heading in the direction of her quarters with haste, but stopped dead in his tracks as he passed Thor's cambers.

His eyes locked on the doors.

She was in there…

A flare of fury lit within him. What was she doing in Thor's chambers?

He stalked up to the double-doors, stopping and gritting his teeth as he placed his hand on the door handle, before finally swallowing and turning it. The massive door swung open, and he found her sleeping soundly in Thor's four-poster bed.

Livid, Loki nearly slammed the door and left, but a strong possessiveness rose inside him to counter the burn of rejection. She was his. In every way. She had never been Thor's.

And he wasn't going to leave her in his brother's bed.

He strode forward, plucking her up from the covers effortlessly, careful not to wake her, and strode from the room, Jane still sleeping soundly in his arms.

As Jane stirred awake, she noticed she was unable to move. Having experienced sleep paralysis before, she wondered if her marathon sprint the previous day had anything to do with it, since her previous experiences were usually brought on only when she pushed herself too far.

But when her eyes opened on her first try, she knew this wasn't what she'd experienced before.

Her eyes adjusted slowly and even though it was dark, she noticed a shadow above her, darker than the rest of the room.

Fear seized her before she recognized the tendrils of hair hanging down in her face, and then her heart constricted for a different reason.

"Lo-" her voice cut off as a hand pressed against the base of her throat, not restricting her breathing but warning her to be silent.

"So, you didn't forget me." Jane's skin prickled at the ice in his voice. "I would have thought differently, given how quickly you jumped into my brother's bed."

Jane's body tensed as her mind raced. She remembered Thor finding her at the rainbow bridge and carrying her back here, but she didn't remember anything after that. She didn't even remember falling asleep.

She started to speak but was cut off again.

"Or have I simply misunderstood?" he asked tersely, his voice trembling as he spoke again. "Was I only considered when my brother wasn't an option?"

Jane's heart clenched, and she shook her head in fierce denial, but still he didn't let her answer.

Tears collected in his eyes as his skin shifted from porcelain to steel-blue. His eyes blazed crimson red in the darkness, searching desperately for acceptance in her own. "Am I only a monster, unworthy of love in anyone's eyes?" A tear broke free and dropped onto her cheek, and Jane felt her heart break in reply.

She gazed up at him tenderly and reaching up slowly, gently grasped the hand resting against her throat, and dragged it down to rest over her heart instead. Loki didn't fight her. Jane closed her eyes and felt a tear slip free from one of her own, as she realized how much she would miss the feeling of him touching her. How much she would miss him.

When she opened her eyes again she noticed how his glimmered like dark emerald jewels in the low light again. He never did stay in his true form for long. Had they been able to stay together, she would have made it her mission to make him understand how beautiful she found him. The real him. She would have made him realize he didn't need to hide himself from her. That she loved him just as he was.

She regretted more than anything that she would never have that chance.

"I love you, Loki. I want to be with you. But that just isn't possible anymore. You're going to be King. How can I be with you?" Jane's voice became more despairing with every word as reality asserted itself painfully. "I'm not royalty. I'm not even Asgardian. They will never accept me. Us. I can't stay here with you, only to be a detriment to you. I want you…"

Her words died away as he pressed a cool finger to her lips, silencing her again. Worried that he didn't believe her, she opened her mouth to speak again, but a strange light in his eyes kept her silent.

Loki sat back, pulling her to sit as well. Unable to resist him, she went willingly as he pulled her onto his lap. A feeling of déjà-vu filled her as he placed them in the same position they'd been in the night of their first kiss – albeit more fully dressed. Heat flooded her cheeks as she remembered that night and how easily he'd had her nearly begging for him.

Loki smirked then, seeming to know her thoughts' divergence, and she looked away from him in an attempt to shield herself from him.

"Jane, look at me." He whispered the words gently and they echoed in her mind, overlapping with the same ones he'd spoken that night.

When Jane looked at him, he was closer than he'd been before. He locked eyes with her as he closed the remainder of the distance between them. Even knowing that submitting to him now would only make it hurt that much more to leave him later, Jane couldn't refuse him. She closed her eyes as his lips finally met hers, a shiver shooting through her at the soft caress. The last of her will shattered completely, as she gave herself over to a moment she prayed would never end.

Jane whimpered as he deepened the kiss, tightening her legs around his waist reflexively. Loki pushed her back onto the bed without ceasing his kiss, but suddenly drew back to look down at her.

Jane was flushed and panting, her eyes swimming as she gazed up at him. Why had he stopped? Were they not even allowed this as a goodbye?

"You're mine," he stated and asked. A lance of pain shot through her and though she was tempted, Jane knew she couldn't deny it.

"Always." A tear broke free and ran into the hair below her temple. The agony of always being his and never being his tore against one another within her, tearing her apart.

"As I am yours," he replied firmly, his voice lowering as he added, "if you'll have me."

Jane stared up at him as if not understanding the punchline of a joke he'd told her, stunned stupid as she blinked vacantly.

Loki smiled at her shocked expression and brought her hand up to his lips, kissing each of her fingertips tantalizingly. A ring appeared on her ring finger as he paused there: a large emerald marquis supported by two golden serpents, one on either side of the giant gem.

Jane stared at it in wonder, unable to release a sound.

Loki chuckled quietly. "So silent, my queen? Even after I went to the special effort of abiding by your Midgardian rituals?"

Seeing she was still catatonic, Loki leaned down and kissed along her neck sensually. Jane erupted with a shiver as he broke through her daze at last. "Queen?" she whispered, voice disbelieving yet heartbreakingly hopeful.

His smile broadened as he pulled back to look at her. "Not right away, but in time, yes. Your answer?"

Still beyond belief, Jane felt herself stutter in a moment that, had she dared believe possible, she imagined she would have shown no hesitation.

"Is this real?" she found herself asking instead of answering.

"Oh, yes. Odin made you like us so that you could remain by my side. Where he approves no other will dare challenge," he assured, seeing the doubt still in her eyes. When Jane only continued to stare up at him in bewilderment, he leaned back down, kissing along her neck until he reached her ear. "Your answer?" he repeated huskily, tugging lightly on her earlobe before moving back down to her neck to bite down gently.

That seemed to snap her out of it and a moan escaped her as she arched up against him. "Yes."

Loki groaned and ground against her in response, then growled as a loud knock sounded on the door.

Jane nearly giggled at the murderous look in his eyes, a pang of disappointment piercing her as well as he stood to answer the door.

Loki jerked the door open, looking ready to murder whoever stood on the other side, only to find Frigga standing there. Jane noticed him deflate at the sight of his mother, while she shot up in the bed and did her best to appear less ravished then she imagined she looked to be at that moment.

"Your father wants to hold a feast tonight to commemorate your succession," Frigga informed him with a slight apologetic tone. "I thought you'd appreciate some warning to prepare."

"Yes, of course. Thank you, mother," Loki replied patiently, yet Jane still heard the edge in his voice.

He was about to close the door when Frigga spoke again. "I have something for Jane as well, if you can spare her." The apologetic tone had faded from her voice as a bit of mirth replaced it instead.

Jane couldn't help but smile as she saw the tension in Loki's frame ratchet up another notch, yet he remained calm despite it. She loved seeing how considerate he was towards his mother, even when he didn't want to be.

Loki nodded reluctantly for Jane to follow his mother, and Jane happily complied, thankful for a bit of a respite to allow her unbelievable reality to sink in a little. Loki gripped her wrist as she passed him, and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Consider this a brief reprieve." Jane nearly gulped at the heated promise in his eyes, and nodded mutely before hastening after Frigga.

Author's note: Sorry this chapter was a little short as well. As I've approached the end of this story, it's been giving me more and more trouble (as I'm sure you can tell by my lengthy absences). I think I may be finally conquering my writer's block though, and I expect to have the next chapter out soon. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to all of you that have stayed with me throughout this journey so far. This is the first long fanfiction I've written, so it's been a new experience for me to run into writer's block (like a brick wall), so I appreciate your patience as I grapple to climb over that wall. And THANK YOU for over 200 follows! I love you all!

Oh! And I hope I caught some of you off-guard with the development in this chapter. I nearly named it "Queen" before I realized I didn't want to give it away. I think the new title worked even better, as both Loki and Jane fight to believe that all of this could be real. :)