I'll keep saying this until everyone gets it: I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or GI Joe characters! Got it? Well this fic takes up not long after 'Blast from the Past' ends! That fic gave me another idea that I had to play with! If you think the Misfits' main goal in life is to drive the X-men crazy, well then this is for you!
The Trouble with Teleportation
Chapter 1. Long Distance Lunacy
"Kitty will you get off the stupid phone!" Rogue groaned. "You've been talking to Lance for about four hours now!!!!!"
"I have not!" Kitty snapped.
"You have too!" Rogue snapped.
"What are you timing me?" Kitty snapped. "I'll be off in a minute!"
"That's what you said an hour ago!"
"Well who do you have to call that's so important?" Kitty snapped. "Just leave us alone. Sorry Lance, you know how crazy it can get around here."
"Tell me about it," Lance sighed.
"AVALANCHE!" Shipwreck shouted. "How long have you been talking on the phone?"
"But…" Lance started to say.
"Don't you know how expensive these calls can be? Do ya?" Shipwreck snapped.
"But it's collect, Xavier's paying for it," Lance told him.
"Oh," Shipwreck said. "Never mind then. Talk all ya want." He left the room.
"As I was saying Kitty," Lance sighed. "I know how crazy it can get around here when you wanna talk to somebody!"
"Tell me about it," Kitty sighed.
"Kitty are you still on the phone?" Scott asked. He was on the other end.
"Yeah she's been talking to Lance all afternoon!" Rogue shouted into the phone over Kitty's shoulder.
"Rogue! Scott like get off the phone!" Kitty snapped.
"Yeah why don't you two take a hike?" Lance snapped.
"Why don't you take a hike Alvers?" Scott snapped.
"Actually for once I gotta agree with Summers," Fred said as he spoke on another phone in the Misfit house. "Other people need to use the phone too ya know? I wanna order a pizza!"
"Will you guys just butt out!" Lance snapped.
"Why don't you just hang up?" Scott snapped.
"Why don't you just shut up and get off the phone?" Kitty snapped.
"Why don't you all shut up and get off the phone so I can call and order a pizza?" Fred shouted. "I'm hungry!"
"There's a shock," Scott groaned.
"Fred just use a cell phone to call it in why don't ya?" Lance snapped.
"Now why didn't I think of that?" Fred scratched his head. "Good idea Lance. Hey do you wanna slice? I'm gonna get a couple of pepperoni and a Hawaiian. You want any?"
"Maybe later Blob," Lance groaned.
"Kitty just get off the phone!" Scott snapped.
"Let me help you!" Rogue grabbed the phone.
"Give it back Rogue!" Kitty yanked on it. Soon they were both in a tug of war.
"Hang up!" Rogue snapped.
"Let go!" Kitty snapped.
"You let go!" Rogue shouted.
"Alvers this is all your fault!" Scott snapped.
"My fault?" Lance snapped.
"Give it back!" Kitty shouted.
"No!" Rogue snapped.
"Why don't you just butt out and mind your own business?" Lance shouted.
"Watching out for my friends from losers like you is my business!" Scott snapped.
"Look who's calling who a loser!" Lance shouted.
"MINE!" Kitty screeched.
"NO!" Rogue snapped.
"Hey Lance it's me again," Fred was on the phone. "Do you want any hot wings with that?"
"AGGGHHH!" Kitty shouted and phased the phone out of Rogue's grasp. "HA!"
"KITTY GET OFF THE PHONE!" Scott snapped.
"YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF HER!" Lance shouted.
"Well technically he is Lance," Fred told him. "He is the leader of the X-Geeks."
"Blob will you butt out?" Scott snapped.
"Don't tell him to butt out!" Lance snapped. "He's my team mate and I'll tell him to butt out! Blob butt out!"
"Fine but don't come crying to me if you want any hot wings and there aren't enough to go around!" Fred snapped as he slammed the phone down.
"KITTY IF YOU DON'T HANG UP RIGHT NOW THE GLOVES ARE COMING OFF!" Rogue shouted.
"You know Rogue that line would be more effective if you didn't like, say it every other time you want your way," Kitty snapped. "Can I call you back Lance?"
"NO!" Rogue and Scott shouted.
"How about we go chat online?" Lance snapped. "Maybe we'll have some privacy for a change?"
"Good idea! I'm on my way," She hung up.
"Finally," Scott sighed.
"Oh yeah and Summers…" Lance blew a raspberry and hung up.
"ALVERS! AGGGHGHHH!" Scott pounded the phone against the wall.
Hank walked around the corner and saw Scott pounding the phone shouting. "I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!"
"I don't wanna know," Hank did an about face and walked in the other direction.
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"Kitty will you get off the computer!" Bobby shouted. "What is so important that you have to spend five hours on the computer?"
"I am not spending five hours!" Kitty snapped. "I haven't even been on ten minutes and already people are bugging me! Go use one of the other computers in the house. In fact don't you have one in your room or something?"
"Yeah but Jamie's playing some kind of war game on it. At least I hope it's a war game, with him you never know," He looked over her shoulder. "You're talking to Lance again? I thought you went back to Peter?"
"None of your business!" Kitty snapped. "I can't get a minute of privacy around here! I'm gonna go get my laptop!" She signed off and stormed away.
Bobby then noticed Peter in the corner. "So what's going on with you guys anyway?"
"Well, it's not like we've really broken up or anything," Peter played with his fingers. "It's that we've decided to also see other people."
"Oh for crying out loud!" Bobby snapped. "What is the matter with you? Look we gotta do something or else the two of you will never get back together!"
"But what?" Peter asked.
"Leave it to me," Bobby looked at the computer and rubbed his hands together in glee.
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"Jamie I like can't believe you were using all the computers to try and hack into other computers!" Kitty shouted. She was taking her laptop away from him. Forge and Scott were there as well.
"Not just any computers!" Jamie shouted. "Terrorist's bank accounts! What better way to combat the forces of evil than by taking away their cash?"
"You have to admit he has a point," Forge said.
"It's still wrong," Scott said. He then noticed a beeping on one of the hallway monitors. "Hey someone's trying to call us using the video phone. I wonder who it is?" He turned it on to see a very angry Lance glare at him. "Oh why am I not surprised? What do you want now Alvers?"
"Where's Kitty?" Lance shouted. "I need to talk to her!"
"You just talked to her five minutes ago!" Scott snapped.
"Get out of the way, Scott," Kitty shoved him aside. "What's wrong Lance?"
"Kitty what the heck is this you wrote me?" Lance asked, clearly angry.
"What did I write?" She asked.
"This e-mail!" Lance shouted. "Lance I think we should see other people. Last night Peter and I had the best date. You would not believe what a great kisser he is! He also has a much better body than you do…"
"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?" Kitty shouted. "I DIDN'T WRITE THAT!"
"Well if you didn't who did?" Lance asked.
Kitty whirled around and saw Peter and Bobby try to sneak off down the hallway. "PETER YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Kitty snapped.
"It wasn't me!" Peter shouted. "Bobby did it!"
"WHAT?" Kitty snapped.
"Thanks a lot!" Bobby snapped. "Last time I help out a friend!"
"Bobby!" Kitty growled.
"Well somebody has to come between you and the Rock Head over there!" Bobby shouted.
"If I were you I'd be more concerned about something coming between my fist and your face!" Kitty snarled. "DIE!" She tackled him and soon they were fighting on the floor.
"Oh thanks a lot Alvers, you started another fight around here!" Scott snapped.
"Did not!" Lance snapped.
"Did too!" Scott snapped back.
"Did not!" Lance shouted.
"Did too!" Scott shouted, ignoring both Forge and Peter's efforts to stop the fight, only to get drawn into it themselves.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"What is going on here?" Jean ran up.
"Oh man this is such a great fight!" Jamie was videotaping the whole thing with his camera. "Man Kitty is wailing on those guys!"
"DID NOT!" Lance shouted.
"DID TOO INFINITY!" Scott screamed.
"DID NOT INFINITY TIMES FORTY SEVEN!"
"Kitty will you please stop fighting and get Lance off the video phone before Scott has a heart attack or something?" Jean moaned as she used her telekinesis to pull her away.
"That alone seems like a perfect reason to stay on!" Lance snapped.
"Well this is me signing off and don't call back!" Peter snapped shutting off the phone.
"PETER!" Kitty shouted shoving him. Soon everyone was shouting at everyone else.
Hank walked in. "Oh great…now what's going on?" He looked at Jamie. "On second thought, don't tell me. I'll just catch the film at eleven."
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"AGGGGHHHH!" Lance screamed.
"Trouble in paradise?" Todd raised an eyebrow.
"That Jerk Colossus and his X-Geek buddies are trying to split me and Kitty up!" Lance snapped.
"What a shock," Todd said dryly as he left the room.
"I'm serious Toad," Lance followed him into the living room where some of the other Misfits were relaxing. "Whenever I think Kitty and I are finally connecting they pull some stupid routine!"
"I don't know why you're surprised," Althea said. "Those guys have been fighting your relationship tooth and nail ever since you first got together!"
"What really surprises me is why she always goes back to Lance," Wanda said.
"There's no accounting for some girls' taste," Althea shrugged. "Some girls are attracted to the weirdest guys. Hey Cuddly-kins come over here!" She pulled Todd close to her. "I need my recommended amount of smooches today!"
"Well why not let Doctor Toad fix you right up!" Todd grinned as he kissed her.
"If anyone should know about that it's you," Wanda grimaced.
Lance was pacing back and forth. "It's not fair! It's not fair!" He snapped. "Those jerks have been messing with my relationship with Kitty since day one! Well no more! I can't take it any more! I have got to do something!"
"Like what?" Todd said as he cuddled with Althea. "She's hours away yo."
"Yeah, face it Lance," Wanda said. "Long distance relationships aren't easy. Especially with Colossus there. I mean he's got the home advantage!"
"That's right!" Lance growled. "He's with her night and day! Day and night! Even though they're in separate rooms he's living under the same roof with her, plotting ways to steal Kitty away from me again! I have got to do something!"
"Like what?" Althea asked.
"I don't know!" Lance snapped. "But I just know if I just stand around and do nothing I'll lose Kitty again! Maybe this time forever!"
"Oh that would be such a tragedy," Todd quipped.
"Oh forget it!" Lance threw up his hands and left the room. "I should have known to ask for sympathy from you guys!"
He stormed into his room muttering under his breath various things he wanted to do to certain teammates. He looked around and saw the Triplets cleaning his room. "WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOING?" He shouted.
"Cleaning your room, duh," Daria said. "My your underwear drawer was so untidy." She held up his boxers.
"Give me that!" Lance snapped as he grabbed them from her. "Now leave me alone!" He flopped on his bed face down.
"What's wrong Lance," Brittany patted him on the head. "You can tell us."
"I'll bet he's moping about Kitty again," Quinn said.
"Well you know how long distance relationships are," Daria said.
"Too bad he doesn't have his own teleporter like we do," Quinn said. "Then he could see her whenever he liked."
"Wait a minute!" Lance shouted. "That's it! You three really are geniuses!"
"Oh no!" Daria said. "We are not letting you use our teleporter!"
"I'll pay you!" Lance said.
"You're broke!" Quinn said.
"I'll do your chores!" Lance said.
"Forget it! You're worse at cleaning than Toad is," Daria said.
"I'll…I'll…" Lance was searching for the right bribe. "I'll steal Pietro's underwear for you!"
"Let me get the instruction manual!" Brittany ran off.
Ten minutes and an exchange of items later the Triplets were showing Lance how to work the device. "Now you got it?" Brittany asked.
"Yeah I got it! Thanks girls!" Lance smiled happily.
"No thank you," Quinn grinned as she looked at Pietro's boxers.
"Kitty here I come!" Lance cried out joyfully as he pushed the button.
And so the madness begins….