AN: Helloooo everybody. So this thing just popped in my head, and I thought why not. On another note here is the news for when my next fics will be published. I'm going to be very busy with my Petroleum Geology masters so publish dates might change. You can follow any fic news on my profile or you can follow me on instagram vala411.
October 10th until Halloween: Halloween fic - A Supernatural comedy like no other.
November: Secrets of the Wilderwest
December: Mayhem in the theater or Phantasm sequel
Now on with the show!
Episode 1: Spanish style chicken Galantine
"Hello everybody and welcome to our show cooking with Astrid and Hiccup. I'm Hiccup and this is my co-host Astrid." Hiccup introduces while standing behind a counter.
"Hello everybody. Today we will be showing you how to make Spanish style chicken Galantine." Astrid said bringing out Chicken.
"NOOOOO!" Was suddenly yelled as Tuffnut their director came running on set. "Not Chicken!" He yelled and grabbed Chicken from Astrid. "Get your own chicken!"
Ruffnut then came out with a dead and plucked chicken. "Sorry wrong chicken she whispers to the audience and then hands it to Astrid."
"You did that on purpose." Tuffnut hissed at his sister only to get laugher in return.
"Oh yes now where were we." Hiccup said.
"Well Hiccup. To make this dish we'll first need to debone the chicken." Astrid stated and then proceeded to grab a very sharp knife. "Now I will show you how to debone a chicken."
Astrid then proceeded to use the knife to cut the meat from the ribcage. "Let me remind you that this can be a messy process and that you should never wear your best clothes when doing it."
"Astrid…" Hiccup remarked when Astrid was explaining but it was too late. Astrid mistimed her cut and the small wishbone flew out of the chicken and hit Snotlout, the camera man straight in the eye.
"Ouch!" Snotlout yelled and clutched his eye. The camera began to wobble but Fishlegs quickly managed to stabilize it.
"SORRY!" Astrid yelled and then tried to resume her deboning but Hiccup stopped her.
"If deboning a chicken is too difficult for you than simply have your butcher do the hard work." Hiccup quickly said. "Now we will return after this short break."
There is a short commercial break and soon the show is back.
"Welcome back everybody. As you can see this is what a deboned chicken looks like." Hiccup stated quickly while trying to avoid a fuming Astrid. "Now as for the ingredients. We will need:
"1 large chicken deboned (size 18)" Hiccup stated and gestured once again to the chicken. "300g pork mince, 4 cloves garlic, peeled & finely chopped, 100g chorizo sausage, sliced, 100g grated Spanish Manchego cheese, 1 handful of Italian flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped, half a teaspoon of paprika, Flaky sea salt & freshly ground black pepper for seasoning, and Olive oil."
"We'll also need" Astrid began while gesturing to the equipment. " A Long metal or bamboo skewer, Butchers twine/string, Roasting tray with a rack, and a Preheated oven to 160 °C (fan bake)."
"Start by making the stuffing." Hiccup began explaining while Astrid showed them how it was done. "Add the pork mince, garlic, chorizo, Manchego cheese, parsley and paprika to a large bowl. Season with a pinch of flaky sea salt and ground pepper, then mix well until combined."
Astrid had put all the ingredients in the bowl and then grabbed a mixer.
"ASTRID NOOOO!" Hiccup screamed but the mixer was already turned on and made contact with the ingredients. The contents of the bowl flew in all directions and covered the front row of the audience.
"Astrid I didn't say use the mixer." Hiccup stated while wiping his face clean.
"You said mix well." Astrid retorted. "Nothing mixes better than a mixer."
Hiccup let out a groan and then said. "We'll return after these words from our sponsors."
When the show came back on after the commercial break we see that the set had been cleaned and Hiccup was busy 'manually mixing a bowl of ingredients."
"Now ladies and gentleman. This is what the stuffing will look like." Hiccup stated while Astrid placed the de-boned chicken on the counter.
"Next lay the deboned chicken out on a board skin side down. Season the inside generously with flaky salt & ground pepper." Hiccup explained and this time kept an eye on Astrid as she sometimes gets a little too happy with the ground pepper.
"Take the stuffing and shape it into a big sausage and place lengthways in the centre of the chicken between the two breasts, making sure the stuffing is evenly shaped and is no longer than the chicken." Hiccup explained and watched as Astrid began shaping the stuffing.
"Astrid. Why is the stuffing shaped like an axe?" Hiccup asked incredulously as he had watched her work.
"I like an axe shape way better than a sausage shape." Astrid stated and then proceeded to cramp the stuffing into the chicken.
"Okay… Moving on." Hiccup cautiously said.
"Bring each side of the chicken up and over the stuffing so they meet in the centre and the stuffing is completely encased in the chicken. Where the ends meet, thread a metal (or long bamboo) skewer through the chicken, as if you were sewing it up, to hold each end in place." At this point Astrid began 'sewing' up the chicken. It looked more like she was trying to strangle it.
"Astrid do you know how to sow?" Hiccup asked carefully.
"Of course I do." Astrid stated while getting a bit frustrated with the chicken. Hiccup had to stop Astrid at this point because they still needed the chicken whole. Astrid huffed but let Hiccup finish the sewing.
"Then with 4 pieces of string tie up the chicken at each end and twice in the centre to help keep its shape." Hiccup then stated while handing Astrid the string.
"Astrid…The chicken isn't a hostage…" Hiccup groaned. "There is no need for such elaborate knot work."
"Fine, then let me try this." Astrid stated and then proceeded to make four Celtic knots.
"I'm not even going to comment on why you made a Celtic knot." Hiccup said and then went back to explaining.
"Now place the chicken (skewer side down) in a roasting tray with a rack, drizzle with olive oil, season well and roast in an oven at 160 °C for 1 hour." Hiccup explained quickly while Astrid loaded the chicken in the oven.
After a short break they were back.
"We're back and it's time to check on our chicken." Hiccup stated. "We'll remove the chicken from the oven and let it rest for 20 minutes covered, before slicing. It can be served with a fresh green salad, a big bowl of creamy mash or your favorite sides." Hiccup explained and then went to collect the chicken.
Astrid cut off a piece to taste and then gave it to Hiccup who cringed and gagged.
"Hiccup what's wrong?" Astrid said while patting him on the back.
"The chicken is undercooked." Hiccup mumbled.
"How can that be. I put it at a 160." Astrid stated and folded her arms.
"A 160 Celsius or Fahrenheit?" Hiccup asked Astrid.
"There was only one knob. So I set it to a 160." Astrid stated and Hiccup then banged his head on the table.
"That is in Fahrenheit. You were supposed to convert it first." Hiccup mentioned.
"Eh…OOPS…" Astrid stated bashfully.
"Well that's all for today. We hope to see you next time on cooking with Astrid and Hiccup." She quickly said and motioned for a commercial break.
Producers note: It is unsure if this cooking show will continue. It will be up to the audience to decide.