Your toes curl in your socks and you hiss softly as Doctor Nacimara squeezes some of the ultrasound jelly onto your bare belly, the med-bay droid on the other side of the table gently pressing its examination tool to the lower part of the swell. No matter how many times it happens, that damn jelly is always so cold.

Moments later, a black and white image appears on the droid's monitor, the tool adjusting fractionally to get a better image through your fluids. And then it is coming into focus and you can see the shape of the baby; the small little face perfectly formed, tiny hands curled into fists, legs drawn up to a chest. There is the rapid bitter battering of a heart beat that sounds through the speakers on the droid and you can't help the soft laugh that escapes you.

"Well, would you look at that," the woman beams down at you, her hand touching your shoulder affectionately. "Looks like everything's normal. The little squirt seems to be doing well." She then looks back at the monitor, her pale eyes narrowing a moment as she reads the information. "Would you care to know the sex?"

"Mmm, no. I don't think so," you sigh and the droid retracts it's arm, the doctor taking a sterile cloth and wiping the jelly from your stomach. She then tosses it away into a nearby bin and helps you pull your shirt down. She offers you her hands a moment later so that you can take them and sit up, your legs swinging down over the side of the examination table to hang. "It doesn't really matter."

"Are you sure?" She asks as she crosses the room and plucks up a couple of things being printed from the droid. "It would help with picking out a name...?"

A... A name.

You hadn't even thought about that, hadn't even considered that you would need a name for the baby.

Of all things that could slip your mind.

"Um... Actually, I think I'll still pass. I want it to be a surprise, I suppose."

"Alright but if you change your mind, I'm only a message away," the doctor relents smiling as she now thumbs through the new information sent to her datapad before she reaches across the examination table, handing you a small, glossy black and white square. "That's for you to keep. If you want it, that is. Otherwise..." She offhandedly points at the bin in the room as she rapidly taps away on the screen in her palm.

You consider the sonogram a moment, your fingers tracing over the gently slope of the baby's nose, "No... No, I think I'll hold onto this."

"Very well," she continues tapping away, "Have you told the father yet?"

You swallow thickly, "Yeah. He knows. He definitely knows."

"And he didn't come with you?" Was that some form of disproval that you hear in her voice?

"He's... He's very busy."

"Mmm, aren't we all." She finally clicks something on her datapad and then locks the terminal before looking up at you, "You seem to be handling this all very well for a first time mother."

"It hasn't been easy," you admit.

"Yes but it's almost over, Lieutenant. Your baby will be here soon enough," she begins to walk towards the door, her hand gesturing for you to follow, "Which sort of brings me to my next point. You'll need to be taking your maternity leave here pretty soon. Three weeks before your due date because of the artificial gravity, so the week after this one, and then most women take six weeks after. If you'd like, I could send in a request to General Hux to save you the trouble?"

You frown softly and shake your head, "No, I'd... I think it would be more professional if I went in to do it."

"Very well. Hang in there, Momma," she beams at you, "And if you need anything else you know how to contact me. I'll be seeing you next week, same time, same place," she was turning to leave then with a final gentle touch to your arm.

"Thank you, Doctor," you call after her and she looks over her shoulder and waves.

You depart from the med-bay then, your steps slow and relaxed as you made your way across the ship, your hand braced on your lower back as you waddle down the long halls. Granted, you have to pause a few times to catch your breath against a wall or on a bench, very aware of the numerous eyes on your person as you take your time to gather your strength.

Typically, members of the Order who got pregnant are shipped planet-side for their duration of carrying but it seems as though you have been made an exception to that policy. No doubt Snoke wants to keep you close so that he could make sure that his knight's offspring is taken care of.

Still, the wandering eyes and the whispers are unsettling and now a bit annoying. And with your raging hormones, it doesn't help, either. You very much want to tell them all to FUCK OFF AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

But that is all very unprofessional. So you don't do that.

When you feel well enough to go once more, you trek on, the sonogram still clutched tightly in your hand. You try to walk as straight as you can, your hand finally scooping beneath the swell of your stomach so you don't have to waddle as much. And despite not being dressed for work and more for comfort in your state, you are wearing in a looser fitting t-shirt and a large graphite pull-over sweater that you found in the bottom of the closet. You suspect it is Kylo's because the sleeves are a bit too long and the shoulders too wide but you don't really care and instead chose to wear it to keep you and the baby warm as you saunter down the Finalizer halls in all your... elegance.

The exercise itself feels good despite your aching feet and a little voice in the back of your head warns you that you won't be doing much exercise later so it is best to get it in while you still have the freedom to do so.

Plus, you need to report to the General.

Ignoring the strange looks that are being sent your way as you stride across the bridge, passing by the small room that had only just become your personal office a few weeks prior at Commander Ren's orders. He evidently had sensed your distress when it came to the wandering eyes and the whispers when the bump began to grow so he had you placed separately into a room to help the feeling lessen.

Still, walking down the secluded hall and passed the secretarial desk—those bitches send you dirty looks, too—you arrive before Hux's office door and reach out to buzz the intercom, your hand subconsciously stroking the swell of your covered belly.

The door before you suddenly opens and you frown softly before you look up at the security camera in the corner of the corridor before entering inside; there is no doubt that the General had been watching you the entire time. Speaking of your commanding officer, he is sitting in his leather desk chair, his eyes focused on a holo terminal projected over the corner of his desk, his fingers rapidly tapping away on his desktop as he typed.

"You came to see me, Lieutenant?"

"Umm... yes, General Hux, sir. I don't mean to bother you if you're busy."

"I'm always busy, L/N," he glances your way, "But please, sit. You are exceptionally pregnant after all and I don't need amniotic fluid on my office floor."

"I think I'll be fine, sir. I don't mean for this to be a long discussion really. I actually came to... well, to come ask for maternity leave," you nod resolutely once you are finally able to get the words out. "Doctor Nacimara told me that I need to be turning it in before I take it. If you need to see the paperwork, she said she could forward it to you."

"That won't be necessary," he shakes his his head once, again, glancing at you, "How long are you going to be gone? And when are you leaving?"

"Uh, well, she said that since I'm approaching my due date, I need three weeks off before delivery because artificial gravity can sometimes tamper with the pregnancy. I would be already taking it next week, sir." Hux nods slowly but still doesn't look at you. You wince, though, before you say the next part, "And she said six weeks after birth."

The redheaded man suddenly stops typing and looks at you, "Six weeks?" You purse your lips and lower your eyes, your shoulders slumping with what you could only identify as guilt. Hux was the last person you wanted to disappoint. "You'll taken ten weeks and won't argue with me about it." He goes back to his work as if he hasn't just said what he's said.

Your mouth falls slack, "Uh... I... sir! I'm only requesting six off. What am I going to—?"

"Is that arguing I'm hearing, L/N?" He smirks softly as he continues to tap away. "You're going to stay at home and take care of your child like a proper mother would. That's what you're going to be doing for ten weeks, Lieutenant."

You are quiet a moment, glancing down at the sonogram in your hand before you nod softly, "Thank you, General Hux, sir."

"Do you require my attention for anything else, Lieutenant?"

"No, sir."

"Then you're dismissed," you nod resolutely and then turn on your heel as sharply as you can and make to move towards the door, waddling once more in your absurdity. However, just before you reach the door, the redhead is calling out to you once more, "Actually, L/N. What is that in your hand?"

You don't look back at him and speak softly, "A sonogram, sir."

"Well, let's have a look then, shall we?"

Hesitating a long moment, you breathe deeply but don't want to further disappoint your superior so you turn back to his desk and hand the small picture to him when he holds out his hand. He is careful as he takes hold of it, holding it around the edges, his nose lifting slightly as he looks down at the image.

"You are aware you can have three-dimensional sonograms or holograms printed, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir," you say softly, absentmindedly rubbing your belly once more, "I just didn't want to spend anymore credits on something that will be dropped into the trash compactor. And these... I feel as though these are simpler but still just as effective as the other techniques. I like the physicality of it."

The man narrows his blue eyes at you, "You're going to throw this away?"

You actually have a whole stock of them hidden beneath the mattress on your side of the bed back in Kylo's quarters. And you had never showed them to him. Were too afraid to show him.

"Does Ren throw them away?"

"No! No, General, sir. I promise that he doesn't. It's just... I haven't ever showed them to him because I don't think that he would... that he would even care if I did."

Oh, my girl. If you only knew.

"I just... I don't want to make him upset. Or distract him more than I already am."

"That's... well, fair enough, I suppose." He returns the picture to you after one long final glance, "At least the child has your beauty, so it would seem. It doesn't look like Ren's nose, anyway." You know he is teasing you so you smile softly and yet your cheeks grow warm with the compliment. "And the sex?"

"I told them I didn't need to know."

"Very well," Hux nods slowly yet doesn't question you further. "If you need anything more from me, you know how to contact me. I expect you to rest well, Lieutenant. It's almost over now, either way. Only a few weeks left."

You rest your hand on your swollen belly, your palm rubbing absentmindedly over the fabric of your sweater, "Yes, I suppose that it is." You laugh softly and look up at him, "I can't wait to see my feet again, sir."

The General's lip curls up ever so slightly for a moment, "To think that the smallest things have become so important to you."

"Well, when you're carrying, you have to take what little pleasures that you can." You stroke your belly once more, the sonogram still held carefully in the fingers of your other hand.

"I suppose so. Are you... ready for this, Lieutenant?"

You shrug, "I've been reading a lot lately, about stuff mothers should know before delivery and what to do afterwards. I... I want to say that I am ready but truly, I don't know if I ever really will be."

"I'm sure you'll do fine, L/N," when you look up, it seems as though the typical iciness in Hux's eyes has softened slightly. "You have all my confidence, Lieutenant."

You swallow thickly and nod, "Thank you, sir."

"Do you have everything that you need for what the time arrives?"

Pursing your lips, you shrug your shoulders softly once more, "I have some supplies ready. Clothes and diapers mostly, some bath supplies as well."

"Do you have a crib?"

"A... crib, sir?"

The redhead frowns softly over at you, "Where the baby is supposed to sleep?"

Oh... Oh fuck. Where was the baby going to sleep?

"Well, uh, I guess I haven't thought about it much. I'm keeping most of the supplies in my old quarters just to keep them out of the Commander's way. And I haven't—"

You haven't talked to Kylo at all about arrangements. About where you were going to live after all this happens.

You already know without a doubt that taking care of a baby is going to be difficult; was already so difficult and it isn't even born yet. You know having a baby meant long nights awake, feeding, changing diapers, dealing with restlessness. It is and will be a taxing job, an exhausting one to be purely honest, one with seemingly very little reward.

And every part of you is suddenly screaming to move back to your old room so that you don't disturb Kylo and keep him awake during those trying nights.

"I haven't spoken with him about sleeping arrangements," you say softly, "It may just be easier to stay in my old quarters for a few months until the baby sleeps sounder at night."

For a moment, Hux regards you with his icy eyes, one neat brow rising, "Ren's quarters are larger than your own."

"That... Well, that is true but I really... I don't want to keep him up at night." You lower your eyes to the swell, "I don't want the baby's crying to disturb him. He needs his rest."

The General clasps his arms behind his back and straightens his spine, "Perhaps it will teach him some degree of responsibility. He is the father, after all. He needs to learn how to accept and maintain his obligations to both you and the child. His devotion should not be conditional. Now..." He walks around the side of the desk and takes a step passed you, his arm gesturing towards the door as he escorts you the rest of the short distance. "Go home and rest. Enjoy what's left of your day. If you're looking for work to keep you busy, if you prefer, I can have some messages forwarded to your datapad so that you may look them over. Should you accept, I will be waiting for your feedback regarding them at the end of the day."

The door hisses open, "Uhm, y-yes, sir. I would be glad for the distraction in the coming days while I am on leave."

He nods at this, "Very good. I know how much your work means to you. However, for now, Lieutenant, you're dismissed."

You turn back to look at him and nod, your lips curling ever so slightly as you step out into the hall and turn back to face him, "Thank you for your time, sir."

"Anytime, L/N." He smirks softly before the door to his office slides shut, leaving you in seclusion once more.

Two days later, a large box appears just inside the door to Kylo's quarters in the early hours of the morning, its shape enveloped in matte black wrapping paper, a silky red ribbon tied up and around the sides. At first, you are a bit wary as to how it got there but when Kylo emerges from the bedroom, eyes blinking bleary in the direction your eyes are trained, he is oddly quiet.

When you step forward and carefully begin to unwrap the bow and paper, the lid of the box lifting, your hand lifts to cover your mouth and you can't help it when your eyes welled up slightly.

Hux, you fool, how could you?

You don't get to see the slow smirk pull across the Commander's sleepy face as he leans against the doorway to his bedroom, his arms crossed over his bare chest as he watches you reach into the box to gently touch the pieces of the beautiful black crib inside.

He can hear your thoughts of awe and can nearly feel your heart melt as you continue to examine the contents of the gift, your thoughts of affection swirling and tumbling around General Hux.

Perfect.

The smirk remains on his face.

That's how it is meant to be. You are left entirely unawares that Kylo Ren himself has bought your child the crib, for it has long been backordered and delayed in shipping. It just so coincidently has arrived at the opportune moment.

Though it irks him because of your want to nearly worship Hux, Kylo knows that this would still keep you safe. For that's all he has ever truly wanted.

You jolt awake, your eyes snapping open when you feel a dampness in your pants. One that you haven't felt since you were very young. Frowning, you lift the comforter half draped over you and touch at the dampness. Immediately, you are swearing softly though in your head you are screaming.

Glancing over at Kylo, the man still seems to be asleep but when you roll over onto your back to inspect yourself, he shifts at your side, the man breathing in deeply as he slowly comes out of slumber.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

You start to scramble out of bed, wincing as you try to sit up, failing miserably. Your hands scoop almost desperately beneath your stomach yet when you go to lunge out of your bed, a hand is wrapping around your wrist, effectively keeping you on the bed.

"Wha's wrong?" He slurs quietly. You don't answer a moment, your chest heaving as you struggle to breath. And before you know it, your eyes are pricking with tears and you are allowing your face to fall into your hand, your lips trembling. "Y/N." His voice is more insistent now and the bed shifts behind you. He clears his throat, his tone still low and gravelly, "What's wrong?"

You just frantically shake your head, a knot forming in your throat. Your face has to be so red, your cheeks are no doubt ablaze and as red as the kyber crystal in his lightsaber.

The grip on your wrist tightens, "Tell me."

It's not a mind trick or a Force-command but it might as well be, "I..." you sob, "I... wet the bed."

At that, the grip around your wrist loosens to the degree that it's near nonexistent and you stand, ripping your hand free as you shoot to your feet and stride quickly from the room, your shoulders shaking and your ears burning hotly as you leave the man in the bed.

You retreat into the bathroom, the door hissing shut behind you as you plant yourself on the toilet seat and sit there and you cry. And you cry and cry.

Your underwear and sleep pants are still wet and yet your humiliation wins over and keeps you seated, your head hanging in your hands as you wallow in your embarrassment.

You hadn't even realized that you had to go. You had went before you headed to bed because the baby presses down so hard on your bladder and every other time, it's been fine or your body keeps away the sensations to keep you asleep but evidently, it had failed you this time.

Unknowing how much time has passed, you tense when the door eventually hisses open and you can hear the quiet slap of bare feet on the floor. And then it is quiet for a moment, the man no doubt pausing in the doorway before he slowly approaches. And then you hear the telltale clicks of the joints in his knees as he squats down before you.

A strong and heavy hand is brushing through your hair, pushing it back from your face. His other carefully takes hold of your wrist and pulls gently so that he can see at least one of your eyes through your defenses, "Hey... It's alright. It was just an accident." He says softly, his voice deep and rough from disuse even now. He brushes his fingers back through your messy hair once more. "Rinse off. It'll make you feel better."

He rises then up to his full height and looks down at you, his hand slipping around and cupping your palm as he pulls gently, his fingers curling around your hand.

Your cheeks burn hotly again as he pulls you to your feet, your eyes low and head ducked the entire time. You wince, your other hand cradling your heavy stomach. He moves away from you a moment, the rushing sound of the water in the shower coming to life. Then, wordlessly, Kylo silently undresses you. He pulls your soiled underwear and shorts down your legs, discarding them in the nearby laundry to be collected by a service droid later. Your sports bra follows shortly after and despite it being clean, Kylo chucks it into the hamper as well.

You don't need to be prompted to get beneath the spray and yet one of his large palms stays splayed across your lower back as you step inside the shower, the warmth of the stream immediately pouring over you as Kylo shuts the door.

His form disappears a moment out of the corner of your eye, the fabric of his black joggers swishing softly against itself as he exits the room, a hand carding back through his hair.

Again, you aren't exactly sure how much time had elapsed but all you know is that you are clean once more, your hair thoroughly saturated and skin clean of urine. Your limbs have been warmed through and you now lean against the wall, your temple pressed to the cold tile, your hands idly stroking your belly and the faint stretch marks littering the skin around your belly button.

When the door to the bathroom hisses open once more, Kylo steps back in, a set of clean clothes in his hands. His dark, sleepy-heavy eyes meet yours through the glass and watch as he sets the clothes down on the counter. He silently pulls a towel from where it was hung on the wall and spreads it wide open, silently beckoning you out of the warm and hazy confines of the shower.

Just as quiet as he is, you shut the water off and then step into his embrace, his long arms encircling you entirely as he cocoons you in the towel, palms rubbing over your back and arms to dry you as best as he can. And you just let him work, your own eyes heavy with the want to sleep as he moves further, the fluffy terrycloth gently pressing down your body, innocently over your rear and between your legs, down each of your thighs and calves, your hand bracing itself on his shoulder as be bends down to work.

When he rises, he regards you for a moment before he gently takes a section of the large towel and presses over the swell of your belly, touches featherlight as if he is afraid that he will hurt you or the baby. He holds his breath the entire time he works, cloth covered hands carefully stroking over the bump, his eyes entirely intent on his motions.

And then something is oddly enough fluttering inside of you and both you and Kylo startle, your eyes going wide as you look down at your belly. Sure enough, when you pull away the cloth of the towel, you carefully rub a hand over your belly and feel that same strange fluttering motion before there is a quick little pressure against your palm.

You smile ever so slowly and lift your head to look at Kylo, "They're... They're kicking. All of this commotion must have woken them up." You look back at your stomach and wait, very much aware of the set of brown eyes also watching you... both your face and your belly.

You jump slightly again when another kick or punch comes on the other side of your stomach and you can't help the amazed little breathy laugh that comes from your lips. You hadn't before felt your baby kick or maybe you just hadn't realized what was happening before but now you're paying attention and feeling your baby kick makes you giddy.

You look up at the man, "Would you like to feel it?"

For a moment, he just gazes at your stomach before he slowly lifts his eyes, their dark depths searching your face before he nods slowly, brow furrowing softly. You feel your lips twitch slightly at this small victory and then you reach out, carefully taking hold of his hand. You step closer to him, the towel still draped around your shoulders as you splay his palm across the swell, silently amazed how far his fingers stretch over your skin.

And both of you wait then with baited breath, your hand curling over his own and then it happens; the barely noticeable fluttering and then the gentle little pat against your skin.

You swear then that when you look at Kylo, his lips twitch and something in his eyes shifts. Yet, he still stares down at the bump as if entranced where his hand lays, another gentle kick taping against his palm.

"There's really a baby in there..." He breaths, swallowing thickly a moment later.

You can only nod, a soft, slightly watery laugh escaping you as you watch his face as it contorts ever so slightly in awe, "No, I just got fat, Kylo." You laugh softly as you tease him and reach up to stroke his hair and then the side of his face.

The man's lips twitch once more and for a moment, his eyes gleam as he lifted them to look at you. And then he is kissing you softly, the act a simple, gentle press of his lips over your own before he is drawing away, his hand sliding from beneath your own as he lifts the towel from your shoulders and begins to ruffle your hair.

He then helps you to dress, your hands bracing themselves on his shoulders as he helps you first into your underwear and then your shorts. You can handle the bra well enough on your own, pulling it over your head to support your heavy bosom.

Taking you by the hand, he leads you back out into the hall and into the bedroom. You want to cringe, your brow furrowing softly as the events of the night came back to you. However, you are amazed to find that the bed is made up, the sheets entirely replaced with another identical black set, the fluffy black duvet lying over that.

He changed the sheets and cleaned up the mess.

Kylo lightly touches your arm as he appears behind you, "C'mon. You need your rest." His fingertips trail up your arm and he rests his forehead against the back of your head. "I know that you are... embarrassed about what happened. But you shouldn't be. It's only a side affect of a greater outcome." His lips press gently into your scalp before he is brushing by you and slipping into bed on his own side.

And with his form stretching out beneath the covers, strong chest and arms pale against the dark fabric, warm, sleepy eyes trailing over your form where you stand near the entrance to the room, you don't see why you are resisting such a compelling invitation, especially when your own eyes are already so heavy.

It was almost like he could sense that it was going to happen.

You are sitting in bed, covers thrown over your legs, datapad in hand as you read through the few reports that Hux has been sending you to handle to help ward off your boredom.

Millicent is at your side, the little orange ball of fur purring happily as she sits curled up in the fabric of the black duvet as she leans against your thigh. Hux, to again, help ward off your boredom, had dropped her off early in the morning, figuring that you can use the company and knows that her presence alone does wonders for your mind as it has been proven so in the past.

However, Millicent can not help you when you feel something pop inside of you. And then you feel trickling down your legs.

It is at that moment that Kylo strides into your shared rooms, covered head to toe in his typical shadowy attire. Your eyes are wide as he is followed in by a number of people dressed in the gray uniforms of the medical staff, a stretcher hovering between two of them.

And that is when the contractions started.

You gasp sharply in pain, your hands going to your belly as your eyes screw up tightly, your jaw falling slack to release a soft yelp of pain as there is a tightening between your legs. However, it ebbs just as quickly as it comes and you can already feel yourself starting to sweat as you lift your eyes up towards the man at the side of your bed.

He only gives you one small nod, his hand extending out towards you, "Come. It's time." You know what he means and you grit your teeth as you take hold of his offered hand.

The other medical staff steps forward to help, numerous hands on you now as they help you to stand, Kylo's arms on your biceps, his chest against your back as he guides you toward the stretcher. You are almost to the stretcher when another contraction surges through you. Another cry leaves your throat, as does a rather loud and long string of swears. Your legs shake and threaten to give out but luckily the knight is behind you and holds up your weight, his arm carefully scooping beneath you even as you cry out. He carefully lays you down on the stretcher, helping you to maneuver onto your side so as to help you breathe easier.

And the next thing you know, you are moving even though you could barely feel it, your hands clutching tightly at your stomach. The pain lasts a bit longer than the last but fades just like the one before, leaving you a bit breathless but nonetheless okay.

"They're going to get longer, sir." Someone speaks above you, though, you don't care to lift your head to see who is speaking.

The lights overhead pass by quickly, the footsteps around you also quick and fact-paced, no doubt they are rushing you towards the medical wing though you are still a few days out from your proper due date.

After that, you don't really remember that much.

Just being moved into a proper bed, the contractions getting longer and more painful, the tightening getting worse and worse each time. You remember someone striping you of your clothes and then new fabric was being thrown over your head. You remember the screaming and the sweat and just how fucking tired you were.

You... You can't do this.

You turn your head weakly, searching the room for the only person who matters, disregarding the others who are down between your spread legs, monitoring the situation.

Kylo stands across the room, leaning against the wall. His helmet has been removed and his dark eyes show no emotion but they are intent upon your prone form. You are pretty sure you are crying and no doubt a mess of hair and sweat and yet you look to the shadow of the knight in the corner.

P-Please...

You close your eyes, another strangled groan leaving your lips as you squeeze helplessly at the sheets and mattress beneath you, really just gripping onto anything to ground yourself. And then there is suddenly a hand brushing the sweaty hair back from your face, a soft, human hand. Warm and familiar.

And when you open your eyes and look up, those warm brown irises are looking down at you, the faintest hint of worry in those depths as he cradles your head in his hands, trying his best to silently soothe you. His hair is draped down slightly to shield you away from the rest of the room a bit and you feel a warm, hazy feeling in your mind, some unspoken strength flooding your nerves and aching muscles.

Hush.

You can hear his voice in your head through the warm haze, his fingers still stroking back through your hair.

Breathe, Y/N.

And then comes the pushing. You swear as though someone is stabbing you down there as you fought hard through the pain. You try your best to ignore it, comparing it to wounds you have received during battles you had fought in during the past and the conditioning you had been through in the Academy.

Push. You can do it.

"I-I can't! Ah! It hurts, Kylo!" You sob, gritting your teeth as you breathe hard, your head lolling in his hands. Still, you look up into those brown eyes, searching them for strength.

"It's almost over. Just one more push, Y/N..." He soothes his thumbs over your brows, his fingers brushing over the wrinkles in your forehead.

You nod weakly, your eyes puffy from all the tears you have spilt and you lick your lips to ready yourself for this one final effort. And then you take a deep breath in and start pushing, uncaring for the fact that you are screaming in Kylo's face, the man above you seemingly in pain himself as he watches you writhe in agony. And suddenly, there is a lightening, a release, and a shrill cry fills the air.

You immediately collapse back into the pillow and mattress, breathing heavily as the sounds of a babe's wail fill the room. You've done it.

You weakly raise your head from the small cushion behind you, your limbs feeling heavy like lead. However, you feel something inside of you soften even more when you actually focus in on the scene at the end of the bed.

For despite the carnage and other miscellaneous bits that covers the baby, the sight is breathtaking. A tired, amazed smile immediately curls at your lips. You keep your head tilted but lay back against the pillow. You very briefly glance up at Kylo when his fingers stroke back your hair one final time before he is gone, moving across the room. Instead, he just sits down in the chair to wait, his helmet on the discarded supplies tray beside it.

Your eyes slide closed as relief washes over you. You were okay. The baby was okay. Everything was okay.

"Congratulations, Lieutenant," Doctor Nacimara is suddenly standing from her squatted position from where she had been between your legs, making the delivery. She smiles up at you, her hand resting gently on your knee a moment, "It's a healthy baby girl."

You look to Kylo who is still watching the baby who continues to wail as they clean her up and dry her off, the man frozen still now that he was in his place, his eyes never leaving the newborn.

"Hush, now, little girl," Doctor Nacimara approaches the station where they were cleaning her off, the woman simply staring down at the infant, her hand gently touching the baby's head a moment.

By the time the baby is cleaned and wrapped up and the medical staff was walking over to you, you are nearly nodding off but perk up slightly as they approach, the baby in their arms and then suddenly... she is in your own.

You feel your breath leave you as you carefully cradle the child in your arms, your shaking fingers drawing back some of the cozy fabric so that you could see her face better. Your eyes carefully trace over her delicate features and as you sit up slightly and hold her close, you shush her softly, cooing gently and she soon quiets, snuggling deeper into the fleece blanket. And it is then that you realize that you have fallen in love for the second time in you life.

Kylo being the first.

"Our daughter." You whisper softly, the faintest of smiles pulling at your lips. "She's so wonderful." Your fingers reach up to gently touch her little hand before they brush over the dusting of dark hair atop her head.

"Alright, kids. Let's leave them be for a bit." Doctor Nacimara shoos her workers out the door, each one of the staff slowly filling out the door until Nacimara was the only one left, "You might wanna settle on a name soon, Lieutenant. Or at least start thinking."

And then she is gone, leaving the three of you entirely alone.

You look over at the man across the room, a soft furrow in your brow, "Kylo...?"

He leans forward then, his elbows bracing themselves on his knees, his hands clasped before him a moment. His head is bowed low, hanging between his shoulders, his dark hair falling into his face to obstruct your view of his features. And of the twist of pain currently on his face.

"Do you want to...?" You adjust your grip on her as if to extend the bundle to him.

"No." He shakes his head still where it hangs, not bothering to even look up at you. You swallow thickly as he persists, "No."

You sigh, your heart heavy, "Kylo—"

"You name her."

Your eyes widen suddenly and your mouth falls open a fraction, "This is supposed to be something we do together."

"I can't."

"And why the fuck not?" You snap suddenly, your tiredness and frustration getting the better of you in that moment.

"Because, Y/N. I can't. I can't. I just fucking CAN'T."

He looks up at you finally, his brows furrowed deeply, his lips pulled back in a snarl. And then... all of a sudden, he is weakening, his shoulders slowly slumping, his hands falling back into his lap. Yet he doesn't look away from you. Something just shifts in his eyes and his face is void of emotion, save what could only be a low burning ache of regret.

"I just... can't."

And you know then. Just like you had known before. This wasn't Kylo's fault, no, it was beyond that. This had to be Snoke.

"Okay," you nod your head slowly in understanding, "It's okay, Kylo. I get it. I'll stop pushing."

It is quiet for a long moment after that, the knight lifting his hand to run it sloppily through his hair.

"I know you've been thinking about names lately. I hear you sometimes when you think I'm not paying attention. You think about it very loudly when you get excited when you find one you like." He says quietly, his voice low, eyes still on the floor, his posture full of defeat, "You already have one picked out, I know you do. For both a boy and a girl."

You adjust your grip on the baby, pulling her close, running your fingertip down the gentle slope of her nose, "Cressida?" Kylo only nods once, his hands clasped before him. "Little Cressida..." You hum softly, smiling at the sound of it. And then, "My last name or yours?"

He is quiet a moment, "'Ren' is a title, not a name. It is earned, not given. Yours."

"Alright," you huff, "Cressida L/N... That sounds... Satisfying enough. Perhaps a powerful name one day."

Kylo grunts as if in agreement.

After that, there is only silence, Kylo sitting still across the room, his head still bowed. Your own attention is focused once more back on the baby swaddled in your arms when she lets out a soft squeak.

Your lips curl up ever so slightly once more, your fingers carefully pulling back the fabric of the soft gray fabric to expose her little fingers, your own digits lightly tracing over her own. She was so beautiful... so perfect. This tiny little person in your arms, the dark hair atop their head wispy and soft beneath your touch.

Simply looking down at her, you can't believe that you had... had made this. You made a person and it had been inside of you this whole time! And now it isn't—now she isn't.

"She's perfect, Kylo," you admit to him softly, your eyes never once straying from her. You trace down her nose once more and it wrinkles cutely beneath your soft ministrations. A soft squeak sounds from her mouth and you shush her quietly, pressing the swaddling closer to her tiny person to keep her warm.

For awhile, you simply rest, content to hold your baby in your arms for the time being, still very much aware of the man across the room who was not so discreetly trying to watch you.

And when she begins to cry an hour or so later, you reach up and undo the snaps at your shoulders on your borrowed hospital gown. You lift Cressida to your now free and bared right breast, your hand cradling her neck as you bring her lips up to your areola. And as if natural instinct took over, she begins to squirm and squeak, her tiny mouth opening to first gum at your nipple and you gasp in pain, the skin still surprisingly tender.

However, once you take it into your hand and help to guide the rosy little peak to her lips, she lazily latches on and your mouth falls open at the strange sensation as she begins to gently pull at the liquid inside the ducts of your breast. You watch as her mouth and jaw gently bobbed up and down as she draws the liquid into her mouth, sometimes humming softly.

And yet, all it takes is a couple handful of sucks before she is evidently satisfied.

Weakly releasing your nipple, she seems to fall asleep after this against your skin, her tiny cheek resting against the soft skin of your breast. Carefully maneuvering her, you smile softly as you tuck her back into the swaddling cloth and you take a moment to right your hospital gown over your chest, leaving it unsnapped so it won't be a bother later when you need to feed again.

You don't realize that you yourself have begun to doze, Cressida asleep on your chest, your cheek just barely pressing atop her head.

And then Kylo is suddenly lifting his head, unbeknownst to you. He is still sitting in the padded arm chair in the opposing corner of the room, his head having hung low as he too dozed and meditated, taking moment to find peace and center himself in the chaos.

He feels a tremor in the Force, the barest hint of a disturbance yet it still calls for him to pause. For the longest time, he is holding his breath and listening, both physically and through his connection with the Force. Something is wrong... and yet the wrongness is too far away to entirely sense. To shadowed. To concealed.

For a moment, thinking very little of it, he sits, brow furrowing softly as he looks first toward the door and back over to you and the slumbering baby. It is unsettling how peaceful you look, how at ease and content you seem so soon.

You may be asleep and yet he can still feel the sudden and strong affection you feel for the tiny infant cradled to your breast and beneath your cheek.

And then, the wrongness is suddenly much closer and it causes his heart to pound hard in his chest, the line in his mind tightening to a razor thin wire as fear and anger spikes through his system when he realizes what he feels.

The door opens a moment later.

In steps three of his own knights, all clad from head to tow in their armor and helmets, shadows among the pale walls of the private med-bay room. Their entrance wakes you up, your eyes blearily blinking open and your hands immediately shift and makes sure the baby is secure where she is. You lift your head slightly and look over to Kylo and then back to the knights.

"What are you doing here?" Kylo growls, the frown deepening on his face as he tenses in his chair, his fingers curling into the cushioned arms

The lead knight turns and looks at him, "The Supreme Leader will take the child now, my lord."

It is your turn to frown, the tiredness leaking quickly from your system and you glance down at the baby quickly before looking back at them. "What?"

"We have orders of confiscate it," the same knight says and the three of them step forward.

You sit up quickly, the action jostling the infant slightly. She starts to cry, her shrieks shrill and near deafening as you hold her against your shoulder. You gently begin to rock and bounce her in hopes of quieting her down but still, she persists. "What? No. You can't have her. She was just born."

"You will hand over the child or it will be taken by force."

Kylo rises from his seat, "You heard what the Lieutenant said. A newborn needs its mother after birth. It's important."

"We have the means to otherwise support the child. Lieutenant L/N is not needed. The Supreme Leader demands it."

You can almost feel the air crackle around you as the knights step forward as one unit, moving closer to you to rip Cressida from your arms. And yet suddenly, Kylo is appearing before you, stepping between his own men and yourself... and the baby, who is still wailing in your arms, crying as loud as she can at the top of her lungs, her beautiful little face so distorted and red as if she herself could feel the trouble ahead.

For a moment, you lift your eyes and meet Kylo's dark eyes, your own blown wide with fear. For a moment, there is turmoil in his eyes and yet when he sees the tears on your cheeks and the distress in your body, he only turns away from you.

"KYLO, PLEASE, NO!" You beg him, not able to read his features or his thoughts.

A scream rips itself from your throat as the air suddenly crackles around you and the room is going completely dark, not a lick of natural light this deep in the bowels of the ship.

But then there is a crackling hiss and a deep scarlet color casts itself across every surface in the med-bay room as a familiar three bladed saber lights up the enclosing shadows, illuminating the man who stands before you, his shoulders tense and ready to attack, his tattered cowl swinging slightly as he shifts more into a fighting stance only a few feet from your bed.

You can just barely see the the red light reflecting back in his dark eyes and you've never seen him look so utterly serious. And dangerous.

This is the first and last time you will ever be afraid of Kylo Ren.

Hello, all.

Sorry I've been away.

College life and my fandom life has been pretty busy as of late. I have a heavy workload than I did last semester and I know that I should have updated this a long, looooong time ago but a lot of things got in the way of that.

I hope you all are well. I missed you.

If you enjoyed this chapter, go ahead and leave a comment/kudo/review. If not, then I'm sorry. I tried.

Again, I thank you guys for how much love this story gets. I don't deserve your kindness and appreciation and yet you leave it for me. And it does very much make my day. And encourages me to write.

I have a tumblr, you can bother me on there. It's basically my username on here. Thanks for reading, guys.

Love,

Blue