Chapter 3

Summary:

A hopeful Shizuo reunites with a hesitant Psyche, and a watchful Izaya.

Notes:

Hello to any readers! Honestly I wasn't going to post anything so early but I felt horribly guilty about the cliffhanger and was inspired by all of your reviews! Thank you so much!

This chapter contains part of Shizuo's reunion with Izaya and Psyche. Another should follow. For anyone who wants more baby Psyche, there's some of that in this chapter!

Please enjoy!

"You haven't aged a day."

Shizuo observed, at the same time as Izaya.

Shizuo looked exactly as he did four years ago, and a vain part of Izaya was happy to hear such a comment about himself as well. He checked in the mirror every morning for wrinkles. With all the stress he was under, you'd think he resembled a corpse. Alas, time had fortunately left him unchanged.

"Damn flea, you're skinny!"

Him as well?

Izaya crossed his thin arms defensively. "I've always been skinny."

"Doesn't that woman cook for you?"

"You're not dressed in the bartender getup." Izaya noted. Shizuo was dressed casually, but neatly, in a pair of jeans and a plain shirt. They seemed to be of good quality as well, which confirmed Izaya's suspicions that the brute had been earning more money.

"Thought I may as well look nice for my son." Shizuo gave an uncaring shrug, and Izaya was so tempted to put his slender hands on those broad shoulders. "So, where is he?"

"On the couch." Izaya responded, still softly. "But remember to be patient, okay?" Shizuo gave a small grunt which Izaya presumed meant 'yes', and he led Shizuo over to the couch, where Psyche was staring at the stilled screen resolutely. For a long moment, Shizuo merely gazed at their son with amazement, no doubt trying to identify the baby he had last seen with the child sitting before him. His staring, however, was making Psyche uncomfortable, and Izaya nudged Shizuo tellingly.

"He still looks like you." Shizuo murmured. "Beautiful."

Izaya willed his cheeks to remain cooled, and focused on the task at hand. Introduction. "Psyche-chan, this here is Shizuo Heiwajima."

Psyche narrowed his pink eyes at the man, scrutinising him unabashedly.

"Your father." Shizuo corrected, sending Izaya a grumpy look, and then grinning broadly at their son. "Wow. You got big."

"That tends to happen over years." Psyche remarked, high voice utterly disdainful. He sounded like Izaya when he was irritated, and the resemblance wasn't lost on either of them.

Shizuo momentarily appeared hurt, before narrowing his eyes back challengingly. "I'm sorry I missed them, Psyche. But Daddy would like to make that u-"

"You're not my daddy." Psyche rebutted strongly.

Shizuo looked questioningly to Izaya, but the informant didn't really know what to say to that. He knew Psyche wasn't in denial about his parentage, so this had to be some sort of attitude towards-

"Daddy's are supposed to hold hands, play, and look after their family, not make Mommy's cry and hurt their hearts." Psyche stated this matter-of-fact, as if he were the highest authority on family related relationships. "Therefore, you aren't my daddy."

Regular four year olds weren't that articulate, but Psyche was different.

Shizuo's face was filled with regret, eyes swimming with remorse, and Psyche was deliberately looking away from the man.

Izaya didn't want to scold Psyche for his words, because the boy was merely expressing himself. He didn't want Psyche to ever stifle his feelings or disregard an opinion, it would only cause things to fester and boil, until they'd finally explode.

Plus, it was unpleasant, and Izaya liked to hear how Psyche felt.

Izaya knew that Psyche had likely seen him cry once before (despite his attempts to hide ever being upset) but hearing him say the words aloud made him feel inadequate. He was supposed to be the strong one. And he loathed how Shizuo was suddenly looking at him, like he was some delicate flower who hadn't survived their breakup. Because he had. It may have been hard, but he had done so.

"Time may have passed Psyche," Shizuo's voice was firm and unyielding. "But that does not change the fact that you are my son. I'm sorry I wasn't there," He looked at Izaya then, expression sincere. "For both of you, but I'm not about to let that happen again. I'm going to be there for the two of you."

"For sixth months." Psyche disregarded uncaringly.

Izaya couldn't hold back a smirk. "He beat me by one second."

"It's a start." Shizuo permitted grudgingly. "I'll take what I can get and pick my battles later."

"Just so you know," Psyche sniffed haughtily. "The only reason I'm being nice to you is because Mommy said he'd buy me a pair of headphones."

So, he can be acidic.

"Can I have a word, lou-Izaya?" Shizuo corrected himself quickly, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance.

Izaya matched his glare, but smiled at Psyche. "Mommy will just be a moment, baby. You can keep watching your movie." He picked up the abandoned remote, and resumed the film, turning up the volume just in case Shizuo decided it was time to yell.

Psyche refocused his attention on the movie, and Izaya led the way into the kitchen. "Help yourself to the fridge." He offered in a snap.

Shizuo yanked open the door so hard it almost came clean off the hinges, and snorted when he saw the assortment inside. "Milk? You still bottle feeding the kid? It wouldn't surprise me. You still seem to baby him."

"Psyche-chan happens to like milk." Izaya explained tartly, crossing his arms defensively. "Something he inherited from his imbecile of a father." He watched with thinly guised hostility as Shizuo gulped straight from one of the cartons. "Augh. You animal. Do you know how unhygienic that is? You could make Psyche-chan sick from your protozoan cooties!"

Shizuo wiped his mouth, crumpling the empty carton in a strong palm. "Whilst we're talking about Psyche, do you wanna tell me when bribery became a good parenting method?"

"Don't get so high and mighty. Your parenting contribution for the last four years has been non-existent, so you have no right to lecture me."

"And whose fault is that?" Shizuo shot back. "If you'd come back-"

"But I didn't." Izaya interrupted harshly. "I didn't come back and you reminding me isn't going to change anything. If you can't get past that fact, you can get the fuck out now. If you want to have a relationship with Psyche, you can show me that you still don't think he's a'bastard', and 'warped', and a 'miniature flea'."

"You reminding me about what I mistakenly said isn't going to help matters!" Shizuo got out from between clenched teeth. "I said I was sorry, you malicious louse!"

"You don't 'accidentally' say things of that nature, Shizuo." Izaya retorted.

"I don't want to argue with you over this-"

"Then don't." Izaya said bluntly. "Don't argue with me. You came for Psyche. If you care so much, demonstrate it by being patient with him."

"Fine." Shizuo agreed roughly. "But don't go breathing down my neck."

"You don't make the rules here, Shizu-chan." Izaya didn't await a reply, sweeping from the kitchen and back into the lounge, where Psyche was peering at the television with a vaguely anxious expression. "Psyche-chan, are you okay?"

The boy perked up at hearing his mother, and ran over to his side, hugging his midsection with all the strength his tiny arms could muster. "I don't want him to hurt you, Mommy! Please stay with me."

Izaya returned the unexpected (although, not really, as Psyche was an affectionate child) embrace, and ignored Shizuo's (who had followed behind him) wounded look. "Psyche-chan, Mommy has told you that Shizu-chan won't," His crimson orbs flashed fiercely here. "Hurt you."

Even if he wanted to, I would stop him. I'd cut his hands off if he ever tried to lay a finger on Psyche.

"I'll hurt you if you hurt Mom!" Psyche informed Shizuo strongly. "Namie-chan said you're a monster, but I'll use one of Mommy's knives and-"

"We don't play with knives, Psyche-chan." Izaya chided. "That's how people get hurt."

Shizuo suddenly bent down on his knees, looking Psyche in the face. It was kind of an awkward position, as Psyche was still clinging to Izaya. "Psyche, I would never hurt you or your mother."

Izaya held back a snort, not wanting to frighten Psyche. Sure, Shizuo may have had a rein on his temper when kids were involved, but him? Not so much.

Still, the other man looked up at him reproachfully.

"I don't trust you."

He's usually so sweet…

"I know." Shizuo said, unsurprised. "If you did, you wouldn't be your mother's son."

What is that supposed to mean?

"Why don't you go draw another picture?" Izaya suggested. "Mommy will stay and watch."

Psyche released Izaya reluctantly, and backed away from his parents wearily, eyes never straying from Shizuo. When he reached the table, he poked out his tongue at the man cheekily, before picking up a red crayon and beginning to scribble.

Shizuo looked at Izaya expectantly, and the man raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Aren't you gonna…" He gestured pointedly at Psyche, and then rolled his eyes when Izaya merely stared at him dully. "How do you discipline him?" It was a sudden question, and Izaya felt taken-aback.

"W-what?" He blinked confusedly.

"Discipline. You don't seem to be aquatinted with it."

He's been here less than an hour and already he's trying to assert some weird dad dominance over discipline. I really shouldn't be surprised. He was exactly the same when Psyche was a baby.

Izaya could still recall his voice with perfect clarity.

("Flea, he's doing that on purpose.")

("He's got you wrapped around his finger.")

("How do you expect us to have sex when you can't even put him down?")

"Psyche-chan is a good boy." Izaya replied. "I don't need to subscribe to any of that traditional nonsense."

"So if he poked his tongue out at a stranger on the street you wouldn't do anything?"

"He wouldn't. He only did that to you because he doesn't like you. Besides, even if he did, he'd just be playing."

"What if he did something you in all your informant glory deem as rude?"

"I'd ask him to refrain."

"You wouldn't say no."

"I don't like saying no."

"That is what I'm talking about." Shizuo said in an exasperated growl. "You're still too soft. If you don't give him consequences-"

"Pearls of wisdom from the pinnacle of parenting. You haven't even spent time with him. How do you know he's some unruly brat? I should have known how little faith you'd have in me."

"That's not it at all, you presumptuous louse."

"Ooh, Shizu-chan used a big word."

"I have a lot of faith in you." Shizuo said slowly. "I saw how good a mother you were to Psyche when he was a baby. But that's what you are, a mother. Psyche needs a father."

"There are plenty of-"

"I know there are parents and partners who parent without a father, but they're all different. We're different. Psyche needs a father. You need me."

The pair had been conversing in hushed tones, so as not to disturb the drawing child, but at this comment, Izaya let out a loud scoff that had the boy looking up suspiciously. "Are you thirsty?" He blurted to his son hurriedly. "Would you like something to drink, sweetheart?"

"Can I have some milk Mommy?"

"Of course you can, angel." Izaya said, and he felt self-conscious when Shizuo chortled.

Just what does he find so funny?

"I'll go get you your milk. Shizu-chan will-"

"We can be alone for a minute or so, can't we Psyche?" Shizuo was grinning again, and his voice was warm. "You can show me what you're drawing."

Izaya thinned his lips, unsure if he should allow such a thing. It would be kind of ridiculous to have Shizuo follow him into the kitchen for not even a minute…

"Okay." Psyche agreed, and Izaya started.

That was certainly unexpected.

Feeling as if he were in a surreal dream, he trudged into the kitchen, carefully listening for any ensuing trouble. He poured Psyche his drink slower than intended, mind drifting away as it always did, to when Psyche drank from a bottle, in his arms.

Four years ago

"Ssshhh." Izaya hushed softly, gently bobbing up and down to soothe the bundle in his arms. "It's okay Psyche-chan, Mommy is getting you your milk now." At times like this, he'd envied mothers who had the convenience of breast milk. He usually had them prepared, but Psyche had been particularly clingy that day.

"Do you want me to hold him?"

The sudden voice made him jump, and he scowled at Shizuo as he emerged from the darkness, clad only in a pair of boxers.

"Did I wake you?" The blond had been sleeping on his couch ever since he moved in. They'd recently progressed to the point where Izaya could speak with him cordially.

"Give him to me." Shizuo ordered, ignoring the question.

Ah. So he had woken him.

"I'm fine." Izaya said curtly, struggling to open the milk. "Go back to sleep. You have work tomorrow." He heard Shizuo give a sigh, and lurched in surprise when Psyche was forcefully plucked from his grip. "What are you doing?" He hissed venomously. "Give him back!"

But Shizuo was already cradling Psyche. He had been horribly awkward at it, at first. Not a natural to fatherhood, but his perseverance had ultimately won out in the end. Still, Izaya retained a feeling of franticness, even though it was mostly dulled now. "What's got you so upset, little man?" Shizuo rumbled warmly at the sniffling baby.

"He's been fussy all day." Izaya huffed, reluctantly continuing with his bottle preparation.

"Is he sick?"

"I've checked his temperature, and he's not exhibiting any signs of illness. But, maybe-"

"It's one o'clock in the fucking morning." Shizuo grumbled. "You're not calling Shinra."

"One would think," Izaya sniffed disdainfully. His eyes felt like sandpaper, and his entire body was throbbing with a constant ache. "That you'd know by now that babies don't have sleeping schedules the same as us."

Shizuo forewent answering, instead attempting to calm Psyche, whose cries had increased in volume since he was separated from Izaya. He bobbed the baby up and down, rubbing Psyche's back and making gruff shushing noises.

Izaya reluctantly allowed this, if only so he could warm up the formula faster. He waited as the microwave ticked downwards, fisting his dry eyes and forlornly remembering a time when he could sleep for a whole two hours without a clingy baby clutching him. Once the formula was done, he screwed on the lid and tested the heat on his wrist.

His first time preparing a bottle, hands wobbling with nerves and tiredness, he had accidentally slopped the milk down his wrists, the scalding liquid inciting a hiss. He'd felt awful. And it wasn't because he was still hurting from that horrible cesarean (which had taken six damned weeks to properly heal), or because he hadn't had the chance to shower after Psyche had vomited on him earlier, nor was it because after the last few days he'd been at Celty and Shinra's, (relying on them whilst he was recovering) he finally realized how harddoing all of this alone was going to be. It was because if he hadn't split the formula, he would have burnt Psyche. His negligence would have resulted in his precious baby being hurt, all because he hadn't had the sense to check the temperature of a stupid bottle of formula. After that, he'd scoured through the parenting books Shinra had purchased for him, the ones he'd snobbishly ignored and discarded on the lower half of his bookshelf. He'd read when he could, doing research on the web as well. Most of it though, came from experience. Asides from the 'natural mother' instincts he'd always been skeptical about until he'd had Psyche.

Now, he was pedantic about checking the temperature of formula, often doing it again on the other wrist just to make sure he wasn't wrong. Shizuo knew how to prepare a bottle now as well (learning after insisting Izaya teach him) and it had perturbed Izaya immensely when the blond had taken to the task easier than him, not even having to be instructed about testing the temperature of the formula. He'd been snappish about the whole thing, and Shizuo had been left frustrated and confused.

A common emotional combination between the two these days.

Izaya held his arms out for Psyche, and Shizuo immediately handed him over. He understood that feeding was somewhat an intimate experience for the stalled informant, and honestly preferred to leave the process of feeding and burping to Izaya. Psyche had a tendency to vomit on him, and for the life of him Shizuo couldn't figure out why. Maybe he burped a little bit too hard…

Psyche suckled from the nipple of the bottle, quieting as his seemingly constant hunger was appeased.

Izaya couldn't hold back a weary smile, and he cooed at his son. "Is that better, baby?" Out of his peripherals, Izaya caught sight of Shizuo's shadowed form. The kitchen was illuminated dimly, and the finer features of his face were hidden. "He'll probably go back to sleep soon. You can leave. You need rest." Just to make sure he wasn't sounding concerned, he went on. "I know you have that pathetic excuse of a job to keep." He pointedly turned away, and gasped in surprise when strong arms wrapped around his body, Shizuo draping over his form, and carefully avoiding Psyche. His broad hands swept gently across the bare skin of Izaya's chest.

Izaya closed his eyes at the sensation. Shizuo's hands were warm. His mind was screaming at him to distance himself, but he was tired and his muscles were tense and Shizuo's ministrations felt amazing.

"You need to relax more." Shizuo rumbled gently. "Rely on me. I'm his father." His hands lingered lower, down his chest and past his abdomen. "I'm your lover."

Izaya opened his mouth to argue, but gasped when Shizuo's hands swept lower and clutched at a scar. "Don't." He protested weakly. "Don't. It's-"

"Beautiful." Shizuo lowered his head to kiss softly at the skin of Izaya's neck. His hot breath made Izaya shudder as he spoke. "It's beautiful."

"It's ugly." Izaya said stubbornly. "And permanent." The colour had faded somewhat, but the scar would remain marring his skin forever. "It's disfiguring me." He felt self-conscious about the scar, and never displayed his bare skin anymore, always wearing a shirt to conceal it. In his haste to feed Psyche, he had forgotten. Shizuo had glimpsed it before, of course. The brute had no comprehension of privacy and boundaries, often entering Izaya's room when he was changing and waltzing into the bathroom with Psyche when Izaya was showering. Not to mention urinating when Izaya was bathing Psyche. It was like the brute thought they were married or something. Izaya shuddered at the mere thought, and Shizuo crushed him to his chest, mistaking the movement as Izaya being cold.

"It's a reminder of the baby you carried." He said. "Consider it a proud scar."

Izaya had never thought about it before, and adjusted Psyche to one arm to ghost his other hand over the scar. Saying it that way, made him feel content. Even proud…

For all their insults, Shizuo certainly knew how to make Izaya feel good, and not just in the bedroom. Or on the couch. Or on the desk. Or on any surface sturdy enough to handle his weight. Thinking about that side of their relationship was enough to get his dick stirring, even in his exhausted state. Thankfully, it was too dark for Shizuo to notice. Or the brute was being kind enough not to mention it. Either way, he was grateful. Shizuo was toeing a firm line, and crossing it completely would only end up being disastrous. The consequences would be momentous…right?

Izaya returned his other arm to support Psyche, and he focused on the baby's adorable features. Even in his infancy, the baby resembled him heavily. He wondered if that frustrated Shizuo. But perhaps the brute wasn't vain enough to care about something so superficial. Izaya would, if he were in Shizuo's position. Nursing a baby that looked like the brute would illicit conflicting feelings of love and dislike. The baby wouldn't be Shizuo, but it would be a constant reminder of him. Oh god, he hoped Shizuo didn't feel that way about Psyche…

Izaya allowed the man to clutch at him until Psyche had drained his bottle, and then firmly pushed him away to burp the baby, discarding the bottle near the sink. Shizuo allowed the movement, even though Izaya's most extreme force wouldn't be capable of making him budge an inch. "Go back to bed." Izaya instructed once more, patting Psyche on the back in an upright position. "You'll be grumpy tomorrow otherwise, and you're already a disagreeable beast on the best of days."

"Look who's talking." Shizuo muttered, but didn't call Izaya out on being somewhat of a hypocrite. Izaya was plenty snarky these days. It must have come with being a sleep-deprived mother who had no time alone. Shizuo admired him for his patience. He himself would have snapped long ago. "You should get some rest too. Although I guess that's a little hard for you, am I right?"

"Yes, you are." Izaya replied caustically. "You are perfectly right in your obvious assumption. A clingy baby correlates to little rest."

"If you want, I could call Tom and ask him for the day off. He'd probably say yes."

"Don't be stupid." Izaya snapped. "Do you really think he'll believe you can't come work because you knocked me up, I delivered a baby, and that you want to take care of said baby whilst I rest and recuperate?"

"He doesn't have to know all of the details."

"I don't need your help." Izaya refuted. "So thanks, but no thanks."

"Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?" Shizuo growled, and Izaya glared at him when Psyche made a frightened squall. "You never accept help-"

"I accepted Shinra and Celty's. And Namie." Although the woman had been absent lately, as he had ordered her to stay away for a bit whilst he adjusted to being a parent. He didn't want her to morph into an unwilling mother. He was Psyche's mother, and he felt rather territorial over the position.

"Only when you absolutely need to. Otherwise you just act like a self-absorbed asshole who can't swallow his pride and admit he needs assistance. Do you think it's good for Psyche when you let yourself get this run down?"

It was probably a rhetorical question, but Izaya answered anyhow. It was the principle that mattered. "You don't know anything that's good for Psyche." He hissed. "You have no right to lecture me."

"Actually, I do." Shizuo drawled matter-of-factly. "I'm his father, and that gives me the right. I may not be the perfect dad, with the great job and the suburban house, but I still love Psyche just as much as you. That gives me a right to offer opinions on your parenting." He finished resolutely. "And I say if you keep pushing yourself unnecessarily your health is going to decline and either you or Psyche is going to end up hurt."

"I say you're wrong." Izaya rebutted icily. "And that you only care about Psyche out of some beastly, obligatory need." Izaya knew that wasn't true. He'd seen the pure adoration in Shizuo's eyes when he'd first met Psyche, and knew the brute wasn't doing all of this out of some need or obligation. But he had been angry and flustered, and knew that the man was right. At least on a couple of levels. If help was readily available, why not take it and save himself the agony? It would certainly make raising the child easier. Although he'd never felt that looking after Psyche was unpleasant. In fact it was the opposite. A tender, enlightening experience that strengthened their bond and emphasised their love.

"I know you don't believe that." Shizuo said unaffectedly. "You're a shitty liar when you're tired, louse."

Just another reason to get some more sleep.

There was a silence as Psyche was burped, and once the baby was finished Izaya swept past Shizuo for the bedroom, where he'd cuddle Psyche until he fell asleep, and try to follow his lead. Albeit without the cuddles. He'd changed Psyche before he came downstairs, so he didn't have to worry about that for now.

"That bed must feel lonely." Shizuo commented, and Izaya rolled his eyes with a snort.

"A bed is never lonely with a baby in it." It was almost smothering at times.

"Why don't you put him in the crib?"

Ah. The crib. One of the many pieces of baby furniture Shinra and Celty (mostly Celty) had assembled for him. Izaya wasn't very good at putting items together, although he managed well enough with pieces of technology like computers and televisions. He had to replace televisions frequently, as they tended to 'malfunction' when he was out. Izaya hadn't bothered to confront Namie about her pouring water over them yet. He had enough money to keep replacing them and the ensuing argument would be tedious. She hadn't done it since he had become a loner in his apartment for the duration of the pregnancy. Which was good because a moody, strawberry craving informant was not the best candidate for unpacking and assembling large televisions.

"He cries for me." Izaya explained, for the countless time.

"Isn't that kind of dangerous? Like not recommended?"

Izaya felt a barrage of guilt. It wasn't recommended. Co-sleeping was not the recommended method for sleeping infants, but he was always extra careful and always had Psyche in his arms or on his chest. He never had him in the bed beside him, and there were no hazards. "It depends on who you ask." Izaya answered honestly, for once. "Some people think it's perfectly fine, others believe it poses a higher risk for SIDS." He felt nauseous at the mention of the word. His baby dying terrified him immensely, and he was always waking up to check on him out of paranoia and worry.

"What's-"

"Look it up." Izaya stalked away from the hapless man. "I'm not going to educate you on something you should already know as a parent." That, and speaking about it made him nervous. He didn't want to discuss it unless he absolutely had to. He'd read about SIDS in one of his parenting books, a couple of weeks after he'd been sleeping with Psyche in his arms on the bed. It had made him feel inadequate. Like an idiot. There were so many things about being a parent he didn't know, and it seemed like there was always an influx of new information to read and memorize.

"Goodnight." Shizuo called after him quietly. "I'll see you in the morning."

Yeah,

Izaya had thought irritably.

After you wake up from a restful sleep, whilst I'm occupied with Psyche.

How restful was it really, sleeping on the couch whilst the mother of your child was mulishly disregarding help? Izaya could have at least shared the bed.

Surfacing from the vivid memory with a sharp shake of his head, Izaya returned the milk to its rightful place in the fridge, and carried the cup back into the lounge/toy area, where Psyche was beaming cutely up at Shizuo, but the entire scene was off. Psyche's beam wasn't genuine. His eyes were glinting, and the sweet smile wasn't sincere. That, and Shizuo's temple was throbbing and his jaw was clenched.

Seriously? I leave for under five minutes and already Psyche has gotten mischievous. I should have known there was something suspicious about him willingly spending time with Shizu-chan. Just one of his silly little tactics. I'm so proud.

His son was clever, and knew how to play the people around him when he wanted. It would have hurt Izaya, if he didn't understand that trait so well.

"Here you go, Psyche-chan." Izaya said, striding over to the little table and placing down the cup of milk carefully. In the centre of the table, so Psyche didn't accidentally bump it down onto the fresh carpet Namie had had cleaned before their arrival. He took the opportunity to look down at the piece of paper Psyche had been drawing on, and raised his eyebrows. "Oh?" He voiced curiously. "What's this?"

Psyche angled a much more genuine smile at him, and held up the picture for Izaya to examine more closely. "It's me and you again." He chirped, jabbing a finger at the two crudely drawn figures.

"What's this?" Izaya questioned, indicating to a circular red scribble that dominated the bottom half of the page. He had an idea, but he wanted to hear it directly from Psyche. He'd never known the boy to be so morbid. Usually he stuck to drawing simple things, which ended up near unrecognisable, such as flowers, butterflies, clouds, and the sun. He was also trying to replicate characters, which Izaya always praised him for.

"That's Shizuo." Psyche predictably said, confirming Izaya's expectation. "He's all bloody and hacked up because I used one of your knives to cut him." Audaciously, he stuck his pink tongue out at Shizuo again, causing the man to grind his teeth audibly.

He really shouldn't laugh. He shouldn't. It would encourage other similar incidents.

But…

My son is hilarious.

So he let out a high-pitched, airy laugh, which invoked a giggle from Psyche and more teeth grinding from Shizuo. "I couldn't resist it." He got out when he had finished. "Psyche-chan has quite the imagination, ne? Although," He sobered here, sending his son a sharp look. "You will not be playing with my knives, or any knives for that matter, anytime soon."

Psyche pouted, moping.

Like mother like son, he wants to slice up Shizuo Heiwajima.

It was drastically unusual for Psyche, who wouldn't dream of expressing such violent desires towards anyone else.

Not liking to see Psyche sulk, Izaya offered something that would cheer the boy up. "Why don't you give your father a demonstration of your singing skills? I'm sure he'd love to hear your beautiful singing voice."

Psyche silently shook his head, taking a long sip of milk.

That's strange. He's not usually shy.

"How about you show him your instruments? And play them as well."

Another wordless shake of the head.

Izaya wanted this visit to go as quickly and painlessly for Psyche as possible, but it seemed Psyche wasn't taking the same approach.

"I just want to watch my movie, Mommy." He said.

"Okay." Izaya agreed easily.

He can do whatever will cause him the least amount of stress. He's clearly not ready to interact with Shizu-chan yet. Well, outside of plans to insult him.

Psyche picked up his cup of milk, returning to the couch to resume watching the movie.

Izaya could feel Shizuo's burning glare, and rolled his eyes when the blond entered his space to speak to him. "Ever heard of a thing called personal space, Shizu-chan?"

"He called me a 'mean asshole.'" Shizuo informed angrily. "Where has he been learning that kind of language from?"

Izaya regarded him blankly. "I don't know the correct source and honestly I don't mind too much. As long as he doesn't go cussing at random people on the street." At Shizuo's exasperated look, he went on. "They're just words, Shizu-chan. He's merely expressing himself."

"Of all the…" Shizuo trailed off, grumbling something to himself unhappily. "He also said I should 'watch myself' as his gramps and grandpa where in a big gang and could have me killed if I did something to hurt you or him."

Intimidation tactics. Wow. Shizu-chan brings out a new side of Psyche. I'd be more concerned if I knew he actually had hardness in his heart.

But Psyche was softer and sweet. There was no risk of him morphing into Izaya the second, even if they resembled one another physically and shared similar traits.

"Have you been introducing our son to the Yakuza?"

"We've been traveling with Shiki and Akabayashi for four years. It's only natural he knows that they're part of an organisation. He doesn't know what it entails though. They never spoke business around him."

What happened to having faith in me?

"He also said he hated me and wished I'd disappear forever." Shizuo murmured dejectedly, shoulders hunching downwards in disappointment.

If he was expecting sympathy, he would be disappointed.

"I can't help you with that." Izaya said bluntly. "That's how Psyche feels."

"For some reason I expected him to be excited to see me…"

I'm feeling a sense of Dejavu.

Four years ago

"Try again."

Izaya huffed in annoyance. "Shizu-chan, he doesn't want-"

"Try. Again."

Huffing once more, Izaya carefully handed over his precious bundle, and was left unsurprised when Psyche immediately began crying, big fat droplets leaking from his eyes.

Shizuo was left standing awkwardly, arms extended and holding the baby away from his body. "I just don't get it!" He growled exasperatedly. "He doesn't do this for Shinra and Celty!"

"That's because they've known him since he was born." Izaya explained for the countless time, his patience wearing thin. They'd been playing this ridiculous game for about an hour now. Him handing over Psyche, the baby howling for his mother, and then taking him back when Shizuo's efforts to console him failed dismally. Psyche had been doing this ever since Shizuo had first tried to hold him. Almost as if Shizuo's presence was repelling somehow. "Shinra delivered him, and Celty helped me take care of him after the C-Section. They pick him up when they visit as well. You're an unfamiliar oddity."

"I'm his father." Shizuo corrected tightly. "Shouldn't he have some baby instincts that make him recognize me?"

"He has to know you." Izaya said.

"How can he know me when he cries every time I hold him?"

Izaya rolled his eyes once more. He did it so often he was surprised they didn't get stuck. "You have no concept of patience, do you?" Not being able to stand the squalling anymore, Izaya tugged him away. Psyche quieted down immediately, and Izaya kissed the baby on his button nose. Unable to resist, he kissed him again, this time on the forehead. Then the cheek, then the other cheek, then the nose again…

"I never pictured you as an affectionate mother." Shizuo's voice was amused.

No. He never pictured Izaya as loving anything. Izaya was just the cold, heartless bastard, who would rather throw a baby on the streets than raise it himself, let alone with so much love. No. He was a bothersome pest to Shizuo. Even now.

"I don't care." Izaya said flatly.

"You're perfect."

This makes Izaya start.

"The perfect mother, and a perfect son. I want to be a good father."

The sincerity was sickening.

"You can't force this." Izaya said, voice tight. "You can't just expect Psyche to suddenly form a connection with you. It doesn't work that way."

"Then I'll keep trying." Shizuo said determinedly.

You formed that connection with him. And then you tarnished it.

"He's not ready." Izaya said truthfully. "I don't know if he ever will be, Shizu-chan."

"I'll never stop trying."

Still with that sickening sincerity.

Only this time Izaya wasn't going to fall for it again.

Fall for him again.

Notes:

The next chapter contains the rest of the meeting with Shizuo. I hope you enjoyed reading. (Please) Review if you would like, as the reviews encourage me to keep going. No pressure though.

See ya.