Author Note: Hi guys! This is my continuation of Logan's mind. It follows my other stories, but this can probably be ready stand-alone if desired. This will start in 6.22 Partings and go through the separation in London. This chapter is a little frank with the sexual talk, so be warned. Logan's inner thoughts are in italics.
I do not own any characters from Gilmore Girls and title borrows from Friends.
"Tell me not to go." Logan looks away from Rory and down into his lap, embarrassed at his weakness.
"What?" she asks.
Still not looking up, he says, "Tell me not to get on that plane. Tell me to blow off my father, the paper, the whole Huntzberger destiny. Just tell me I can figure something else out. Just tell me not to go."
This afternoon's business meetings have shaken him more than he wants to let on, but he's had just enough beer to come clean to Rory. She is the one thing I am sure of.
Rory sighs. "Well, I can't do that."
What? You don't want me to stay?
He takes a couple of measured breaths and searches for answers in his lap.
Rory always wants what's best for me. She must have thought about this.
He reaches over and puts his hand on her knee. He looks up at her. Her big blue eyes are pleading with him to drop it.
She hesitates, and he teases, "What? You think the teacher's gonna see?"
He puts his arm around her and pulls her in close for a kiss. He doesn't want to stop, but he is suddenly very aware that there are still twenty or so people in his apartment.
He pulls an inch away from her and asks, "How quickly can we get all of these yahoos out of here?"
She laughs. "I'm on it."
As she jumps up and recruits Stephanie to help her clear the party, Logan takes a minute to regroup. I have to do this. I don't really have a choice. I have to make the best of it.
He stands to say goodbye to all his boys. He will miss them too.
They all head out except Robert, who is still chatting with Jenny. Logan walks over and whispers to him "She got back together with Paul this morning."
Robert looks at him, then back at Jenny. "Welp, gotta go. Logan- safe travels."
Finally, Logan closes the door behind the last of their guests. "Alone at last," he grins.
"I have one more little surprise for you." Her eyes are bright, and her cheeks blush. "Turn around, and close your eyes."
Logan's eyes widen, and then he does as he's told.
A few moments later, he feels Rory pulling fabric around his eyes.
"Blindfold. Kinky."
"Not quite," Rory giggles. "Turn around and open your eyes."
How can I see through a blindfold?
But as he opens his eyes, he realizes it is not actually a blindfold, but a Zorro-type mask.
Rory is standing in front of him. She has ditched the red dress and hat, and is now clad only in her bra, panties, and blond wig.
Good God.
"Farm boy," she says in a haughty tone. "I demand you take me to bed and have your way with me."
Logan grins. "As you wish," he says in a faux British accent, scooping her up and carrying her to bed as gracefully as his walking cast will allow.
The sex is hot and passionate. Loud and quick. He rolls off of her and hobbles to the bathroom to throw away the condom.
As he gets back in bed, he snuggles Rory to him and breathes against her back. "I'm sorry that was so short. It was too hot," he laughs.
"It's fine, Logan. We have all night."
A quick glance over her shoulder tells him it is already after two. It's not enough time…
He gently tugs at her wig. Rory rolls over to face him.
"You don't like it?" she asks him. "Because I know you tell everyone that Die Hard is your favorite movie, but I'm fairly positive it's actually The Princess Bride."
"Alright, you got me," Logan snorts. "And obviously, I liked it. I just fucked Buttercup senseless. But… it's our last night, and I wanna be with my girl."
Rory pulls off her wig and then the skull cap. She shakes out her chestnut hair.
"There she is," he says as he kisses her jawline.
"Can you even go again?" she asks, giggling.
He smirks, rolling on top of her. "I need ten, maybe fifteen minutes."
He begins kissing down her neck to the sweet spot on her collarbone. He puts time into each breast, trying to commit every detail of her body to memory.
I've got to make this last for months.
He continues moving down her body and traces her hip bone with his tongue. By the time he settles in between her legs, her body is already buzzing. He takes his time, doing all the things he knows she loves. He listens to her moan and feels the way her hips twitch against his face.
When he feels the goosebumps arise on her body, he knows she's close.
"Logan," she gasps. "I'm…I…" She reaches down and clutches his hair. He doesn't quit until he feels her legs go slack on either side of his head. She slips over onto her side, attempting to catch her breath.
He discreetly wipes his mouth on the sheets and crawls back up the bed to her kissing along her spine on his way. His erection pushes against her, and she laughs.
"I guess you're ready now," she says, as she reaches for another condom. He rolls it on, and spoons her again. She guides him into place as he enters her from behind.
"God, Ace…" he groans. How is it this good, every time? I am too close. I have to hold out longer.
"Get on top. I wanna see you," he whispers gruffly.
She rolls over and climbs on top of him. He grabs her hips tightly as she circles around and around. Her eyes are closed, and she's still in post-climax glow. She runs her hands through her hair, murmuring "Right there. Don't stop."
She picks up speed, and he feels the goosebumps rise up again. Her body tenses, and she sighs contentedly.
I will never tire of that sound.
"One more?" he asks her.
Rory whispers back, "Maybe… Don't stop what you're doing."
She leans forward, changing her angle until her breasts are right in his eye line.
"Fuck, Rory," he hisses as he pulls her nipple into his mouth. She moans, and he can feel her come again.
I can't hold this anymore.
"I'm gonna come if you don't slow down," he whispers to her. Rory responds by driving her hips down harder and faster, pushing him over the edge.
"I'm sorry, baby. I just couldn't…"
She laughs as she rolls off of him. He puts the condom on the bedside table to deal with later.
"Logan, you just gave me four orgasms. I can survive without a fifth."
They rest quietly for a moment, catching their breath.
Rory finally breaks the silence. "The things you can do with your tongue. I'm gonna miss getting that on the regular."
Logan smirks, and then upon reflecting, quietly asks "Can I tell you a secret?"
"Of course."
"I've never done that to anyone else," he admits.
"What?" Rory says, popping up on one elbow to look at him.
He repeats himself. "I've never done that to another girl."
Her eyes are incredulous. "How is that possible?"
"I don't know. I remember some guys at Exeter talking about seeing it in a porn or something. I must have been eleven, twelve-ish, and I thought it sounded so gross."
Rory snorts.
"I know, right? I mean when you think how much I love it now… Anyway, when I was older, old enough to actually be with girls, it just seemed so… intimate. I mean, you have to be really comfortable with someone to do that. And, before you, intimacy was just not my thing."
"Logan," she whispers. "You went down on me like the first or second time we were together."
"I know."
"And that first spring break! That's like all we did the whole week!" she exclaims.
"I know. You were always different for me."
She leans down and kisses his lips sweetly.
He looks deep in her eyes. Might as well keep confessing.
"There's something else." He pauses briefly. "After we slept together the first time, I wasn't with anyone else. Not until we broke up…" he trails off, not wanting to bring up Walker or Claudia.
Rory's eyes widen again. "Logan, I saw you on dates with other girls."
"Yeah, well what you saw was basically all that happened. I teased you about it being 'something' right away, and it was… for me too."
"Why have you never told me this before?" she asks.
"I was embarrassed," he replies honestly. "I had spent so much time and energy convincing everyone… and probably myself most of all… that you were one of many, when you were really just… the one."
Rory's face melts, and he can see her eyes welling up.
"Then, why are you telling me this now?"
Logan touches her face, wiping her tears and replies, "I know what happened over winter break is in the back of your mind somewhere. I want you to know –"
"Logan, I do know," she interrupts him. "Really. Let's talk about this later, okay?"
'Let's talk about this later' has been her mantra for the last month. Not that I can blame her- I don't want to face reality either, but we're running out of time.
"Rory, there is no later," he sighs.
"Not true. We have the whole ride to the airport. That's an hour and half of pure talking. I mean, if you can keep your hands off of me for that long. I just can't handle anymore emotions right now." Glancing over her shoulder at the clock, she continues. "Let's sleep for two hours, and then we'll wake up with enough time for one more go-round before Frank gets here," she says, grinning.
"Okay, I'll set the alarm," he replies. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. I'm sticky."
Rory giggles and blushes.
"I love you, Logan," she calls from behind him as he hops to the bathroom. He looks back and smiles.
After a quick shower, he heads back to bed. Rory has put on pajamas and is already asleep. He can tell from the rhythm and cadence of her breathing that she is in deep.
He pulls on pajama bottoms and climbs in bed next to her. He stares at the ceiling for a few minutes, fully knowing that Rory is right; he needs to sleep too, but his mind is racing. He cannot stop the barrage of insecurity, things he has never admitted to anyone.
What if I'm terrible at this job, and it becomes readily apparent I only have the job because of my last name?
What if I'm really good at this job, but no one will take me seriously because they think I only got the job because of my last name?
What if Rory decides "Out of sight, out of mind. Philadelphia is a lot closer than London."
Fucking emo punk.
What if she meets some new douchebag who's more charming than me?
Well, no one is more charming than me, but I'll be in fucking London. That douchebag will be here- working at the paper or going to class with her.
What if I don't make any friends there? What if they all hate me? What if I hate them? Colin and Finn are idiots, but they've been my boys since seventh grade.
What if Mitchum is literally controlling every aspect of my life for the next twelve months?
It becomes obvious that he won't be sleeping, so he gets up and decides to tie up all the final details, making a crucial decision along the way.
He sits down at the bar and begins writing a letter to Rory.
Dear Ace,
First of all, thank you for last night- the party and the after party. It was all perfect. Except your accent.
Second, I have a lot of boring housekeeping that you have not let me talk to you about. Now is the 'later' you are avoiding.
1. I've paid for the apartment and HOA for next year. I would feel so much better if you lived here, and it is where I can come home to you. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you move back in with Paris. I would never sleep.
2. Frank is paid through the end of the month. Please take advantage of him. He'll be bored without us.
3. There are movers coming Tuesday to pack and ship the rest of my stuff, including the computer. I've ordered you a new one, but it won't be here for another week or so. Hopefully, you can get by with your laptop until then.
4. Colin and Finn will come by at some point this week to take the Porsche to my parents' house. I would leave her for you, but I've seen you drive a stick, and I care too much about my girl. Obviously, I'm talking about the car.
5. I've added you as an authorized user to my AmEx. I know you won't use it, but I want you to have it in case of emergencies. And the bill will come to me in London, so you don't have to worry about Shira finding out.
And finally, I'm sorry for the way I'm going to leave this morning. I don't want to go; I don't want to be apart from you. I know I have to though, and I hope this will be easiest way for both of us.
You have changed my life in so many ways, and if I had the time, I would regale you with every detail of when, why, and how you've changed me. But I don't have the time, so I will simply say that I love you more than I knew it was possible to love another person. You are the best part of me, and I am grateful every day that you chose me to love.
I'll call you when I land.
Love, Logan
He rereads his words, satisfied that he has said the things he needs to say. He places the letter next to the coffee pot where she is sure to find it amidst the mess from the party.
He dresses and packs his toiletries. After a final check to make sure his passport, visa, and boarding pass are in his carry-on, he places his bags outside the door and texts Frank that he is ready.
Logan turns off the alarm four minutes before it is set to go off and spends these precious moments watching her sleep.
I am really going to miss waking up to her. Have I conveyed this well enough? After all this time, she knows, right? Hopefully, the rocket will… Shit the rocket.
His closet door squeaks as he opens it. Checking behind him to see that Rory is still asleep, he pulls the long thin package out of its hiding space. He searches the apartment for a clean spot to place it, but the effort is futile. It was a good party.
He is stalling, trying to delay the inevitable. Finally, sunlight begins to stream in, and Logan knows it is time to say goodbye.
He gently nudges her. "Rory."
She rolls over and looks at him. "Logan?"
"Don't get up," he tells her earnestly.
"You're dressed. Why are you dressed?" she asks, panicking.
Truthfully, I didn't trust myself to be naked with you again.
"My bags are already in the car."
"The car?"
"It's downstairs. I just wanted to tell you-"
"I'll be five minutes," she interrupts, sitting up. "I just have to find the closet."
"Relax."
"I'll just grab shoes and a coat," she says.
"No."
"No shoes, just a coat."
"You don't have to come." You can't come.
"You're leaving. I have to go with you to the airport," she begs.
"No."
"I have to go to say goodbye."
"Rory, no." Please don't make this harder.
"Yes. I have to wave to you at the gate," she argues.
"They won't let you come to the gate. They'll stop you at security."
"Okay, well I'll wave to you at the metal detectors."
"Rory…"
"I have to go with you."
"No!" he says, more forcefully. Please stop now.
"Yes," she comes back, just as forceful. "You are leaving for London. Who knows when we'll see each other again?"
"I thought that was all set."
"What was all set?" Rory asks.
"Christmas, Thanksgiving, Guy Fawkes Day," he quips.
"That's so far away. I-"
"Rory. If you come with me, I won't get on the plane," he finally admits.
She frowns, and he takes a deep breath. Just get through this.
"I've paid for the apartment for the next year, so you don't have to worry about that. There's still a few weeks left on the car service, so use it whenever you want." Rory starts crying, but he pushes through. "I know that you won't, but just in case you need to. I'll call you when I get in, okay?"
He puts his hand on the back of her head and pulls her in for a kiss. She touches his face, crying and sniffling.
"What?" he asks her.
"I just keep trying to think of fabulous things to say, but all I can think of is 'Say hi to William and Harry for me.'"
He touches his forehead to hers and smiles. I've put Rory Gilmore at a loss for words.
"I love you, Ace."
Rory laughs. "That's so much better than 'Say his to William and Harry for me.'"
He kisses her again. I can't start this. I have to get out of here.
"I have to go," he states abruptly. He turns from her and gets his cane and bags. Don't look back. Leave the apartment. Don't look back. Get on the elevator.
He pushes the button for the ground floor. Turning around, he sees Rory in the doorway crying. He starts to smile to blink away the wetness, but the tears are coming fast. Mercifully, the doors close just before the flood.
He gives himself one good sob before he wipes his eyes. Get it together, Logan. New life starts today. Get used to it.
Please let me know what you think in the comments. I may need to switch this to M as we all know the sexting that is coming up. What do you guys think?