Caution: this fic is currently trash. Like, really smelly garbage trash. Like tire fire smelly type of trash. I'm currently in the process of rewriting literally all of it so that it is no longer trash. If you haven't read this fic yet I will not stop you but be warned, it's going to be a hell of a lot better soon.

Viewer discretion is advised.

Edit progress: chapters 1-8

Table of Contents:

"Reality AU": Chapters 1-26

"Neighbor/Blind!Star AU": Chapters 27-?

Chapter 1

Rampage

"I swear, if she keeps this up, she'll need more than St. O's to get her back in line."

The Queen stood at the window of her chambers, looking out at the horrors that laid before her. She lamented on history. Mewni was a strong dimension, one with plenty of patriotic citizens willing to fight and die for their King and Queen. They'd overturned entire civilizations for the land their kingdom stands on today. Even as their military expanded ever upwards in technology and raw strength, nothing could have defended their capitol city from the horror that was ravaging their streets. The Queen, however, knew exactly what was going on and had even come to expect it. Star got into the warnicorns again.

"River? Do you know who left the stables unlocked?"

A voice from the adjoining room offered its denial. The Queen let out a long, drawn out sigh and headed for the door of her chambers. By the time she made it down to the cobblestone path leading to the castle's entrance, there was already a mob forming outside the gates. An indiscernible ravel reached the Queen's ears as she made her way to the mob.

"WE WANT HER OUT OF THIS CITY"

"SCREW THE LINEAGE, GIVE US OUR LIVES BACK"

"ALL MY WINDOWS ARE SMASHED"

"MY CABBAGES"

The Queen raised her hands not to silence, unfortunately, but to at least diminish the sound a bit. A few castle guards stood by her side to make sure no one tried to reach through the bars or climb over the top.

"People, please! We are doing the best to keep her under control. Please, just give it some time!"

A few villagers expressed their distaste with a multitude of curses. "How much time is it supposed to take!? At least keep her in the damn castle!"

"We're trying, but she's still a child. We're doing our best to keep out eyes on her but she'll do anything to get out here. Let me bring her back to the castle and we'll-"

"What? Keep an eye on her again?" The people weren't going to let her out that easy. "Every time you just bring her back, she just gets out again! We want results!"

"And I'll find a way to produce them, but I can't do anything arguing with you all."

"And what about the damages?" The crowd seemed to share this sentiment. "Are you gonna do anything about all the destroyed homes and shops!?"

"Yes! We're trying to find a way to fix this but it's hard to spend money you don't have! We'll figure something out, I promise! We'll have it dealt with tonight, you have my word as Queen."

With a murmured agreement form a majority of the townsfolk the gate opened. The Queen, now on a direct course for the destruction that had made its way to the village square, hustled down the path with mob and guards in tow. Soon, the area in question began coming into view: the extravagantly beautiful public square that's marked border between the residential and the business districts. A large stone square laid underfoot, dotted with trees and with one of the most spectacular fountains a royal city could ask for. The statue was the home of a rather lovely statue of one of the more influential queens of years past, Queen Nova, and was currently smashed in several places and spilling water between the feet of the masses.

The Queen clicked her tongue at the sight of this and scowled. Repairs on this alone would take a huge chunk out of the city's reserves which, as she so delicately explained to her people not moments before, was money they didn't really have. She still had no idea how such a small child managed to ruin such a beautiful square. Surrounding buildings had chunks missing. Entire chunks! There were scorch marks all over the place! What were they even from?

As she contemplated the causes of the child's destruction, she noticed the little devil herself, mounted on one of the largest warnicorns the castle had and currently bounding back into the square from one of the side alleys. The Queen's face turned a shade of red not many of the towns folk there had ever seen before.

"STAR BUTTERFLY! DISMOUNT AT ONCE!"

Not having seen her mother yet, Star reared the horse to a scraping halt at the sound of her. She looked back with the show of fear plastered on her face and jumped off the horse, which padded the ground with its hoof.

"Star Butterfly, what on Mewni do you think you're doing? I leave you alone for 20 minutes to study and here you are, destroying the city as if we had coin growing from the trees! I swear, it's as if you don't even care!"

"But mom! Studying's boring! You can't expect me to-"

"I can and I do expect you to sit quietly for as long as I deem necessary for you! Look around you. Is this really the kind of pain you want to put your future subjects through?"

Star looked around her and let her eyes settle on all the people gathered around moon, the general noise emanating from them felt like white noise to her. She could feel weight of her actions start to weigh down her chest. Her eyes began to well up a bit, but she didn't shed any tears. The Queen sighed again and her tone dialed down to a more apologetic kind.

"Star, listen. I know you're still a child and messing around is what you do, even I did it when I was your age, but you have to calm down. You're part of the royal family and that means there's genuine, long lasting consequences to your actions here. I mean, for heaven's sake, Star, you're already 14. You're a real princess now. You need to learn to control yourself and I don't think you're going to get that kind of education here."

The crowd began growing louder. They didn't want this emotional talk, they wanted her to be chastised and punished! They started to cry out in protest but were inevitably shot down by a stern look from their queen.

"Now come on, we'll head back to the castle and discuss what's going to happen to you there."

The Queen took Star by the wrist and led her away from the square, using her wand to transport the warnicorn back to the stables. The guards that accompanied Moon had to physically part the considerably peeved crowd but a path was eventually opened for the two.

"She did what!?"

The King brought the tips of his fingers to the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"First the Molonach Bridge and now the town square, not to mention all the private property. That'll take at least 2 years to work off the expenses!"

"River, I know this is a matter of absolute importance but let's just settle on Star's situation for a minute. If we don't do something she's never going to stop."

The Queen sat in their bedroom while the King paced back and forth on the floor. With the subject changed to Star's new accommodations, they both seemed to have the same conclusion in mind, though it was Moon who made it verbal.

"I really do think Earth is the best place for her to go. They'll make sure she stays in line, you know how they are over there. And maybe she'll learn to respect the life she had back here, learn that not everyone has the freedom she takes for granted."

"No, I believe you're right. We can stick her in one of those education facilities they have there. Should keep her busy."

"They're called schools, dear, and I don't think they teach regal etiquette."

"So we'll send Glossaryck along. Give her the wand early, she's almost 15 anyway. Glossaryck can teach her magic and how to be a princess."

"I don't know, they're not very keen on magic on Earth."

"Glossaryck knows how to deal with that. Everything will be fine. It's like killing two birds with one stone."

"Yes, you're right. He's good at what he does. I trust him."

"So, who's gonna break the news to Star?"

"I've done enough with her for one day. This one's yours."

River grumbled in defiance as he trudged out of the room. It wasn't a long walk to his daughter's room, just down the hall really, but it didn't make his thoughts any easier to sort through. He was never very good at this side of the parenting game. He was always either the king or the fun dad. It always hurt him so much to see even an ounce of pain in his daughter's eyes. But it had to be done and he knew it.

Star sat in her own room, thinking over what was about to happen to her. She'd really done it this time, her mom's yelled at her before but this... something about the softer tone in her mother's voice is what really got her thinking. She couldn't get the education she needed here? She knew for sure what that meant. Her mother had tossed around the idea of sending her to St. Olga's Reform School before but she always thought that was just a way to get her to eat her dinner. She wasn't really considering it, though, was she? Of course, she was, where else was Star supposed to go? Star was so deep in thought she didn't even notice when the door creaked open, not until her father had actually sat down next to her.

"Star? Can we talk?"

"Sure dad."

She slid to her side a bit, making room for her father.

"I know you're probably fearing for your life on where me and your mother might send you," he let out a light chuckle, trying desperately to make the situation a little less heavily, "but really, there's no need to worry. We're gonna send you to live with some old friend of ours."

Star shot up when she heard that. "You mean... you mean I'm not going to St. Olga's?"

Her father smiled to see her so hopeful. "No, Star, we're sending you to Earth instead. You're going to be living with our friends, the Diaz's. Your mother and I have been there plenty of times, and I promise it's perfectly safe. We're sending Glossaryck with you to help with your education. Maybe you'll make some friends there."

"But this is still a punishment, isn't it?" Her eyes turned downwards as the small realization dawned on her.

"Yes, it is. But I'm sure you'll figure out how to have fun. You always do. Now get some sleep, you leave in the morning."

He kissed his daughter's head and left the room. Star rolled over onto her side.

"Wait, the morning?"

If you're reading this that means the new rewrite of the first story has finally dropped. It's been a long time since I started rewriting this and an even longer time since I first posted it. It may never regain that level of popularity it once had but at least I can rest easy knowing it doesn't look like genuine trash anymore.