Part 2…

Shay turned away sharply and began striding purposefully towards her 'Stang. Everything in her demanded that she run to the car and drive until the last week was erased from her mind, but she couldn't leave Sam alone to face this mess. She just needed some breathing space to get her head on straight, that's all.

"Shay!"

The moment the huntress felt her brother's calloused hand on her forearm, tugging her back around to face him, she allowed her instincts to surge forth. Her right hand balled up into a fist and flew straight into Dean's face, colliding painfully with his left temple. The pain in her knuckles was nothing compared to the upsurge of agony she'd suffered when Dean revealed what he'd done to get Sammy back.

"No," the huntress spoke lowly, jabbing an angry finger into his chest, "no, no, no, no, NO!" She pierced Dean with baleful green eyes, "you don't get to drop a fucking bomb like that and expect me to just… what, grin and bear it? No! I just got my baby brother back from the dead at the cost of my twin brother's soul," hot tears began to course down her cheeks, "you're going to Hell in a fucking year. What am I supposed to do with that?"

"I need to be alone right now," she wiped furiously at her wet cheeks, "because I just… I can't… I can't look at you right now… and on Sam's birthday," she sobbed softly, "I can't, De, I fucking can't."

"What, you'd rather I'd just let him rot?" Dean shot back viciously, green eyes shining with unshed tears, "you know damn well I couldn't, you would've done the same damn thing if I hadn't beat you to the punch!"

"Are you honestly asking me which brother I'd rather be alive right now? Really?" Shay responded, misery evident in her voice, "you know damn well I want both you alive, but not like this! God, what's wrong with you?" she shook her head sadly, "I just… I can't understand how little you value yourself, De, it's… it's fucking sad. Dean, we need you here, not burning in Hell."

"You know I couldn't let him go, Shay," Dean responded quietly, beseeching her understanding, "you know that."

"I know," she responded, tears flowing once more, "I know…" she looked over her twin's shoulder to where their little brother remained next to the Impala, facial expression still contorted into one of utter disbelief and guilt.

"This is gonna eat him up inside, y'know," she uttered, turning her eyes back to Dean, "I know, you thought you were doing the right thing, but… we both know that figuring out Dad sold his soul for you screwed you up inside, and now... what do you think it's going to do to Sam?"

"Sammy's tough," Dean replied, "way stronger than me. He'll be alright."

'You're lying through your teeth and you know it,' Shay thought sadly, 'it's going to tear him apart and ruin him the same way it did you.'

The blonde huntress let her eyes flutter closed, "I wanna get in my car and drive until I can't remember any of this, but there's not nearly enough two-lane asphalt in the lower 48 for me to pull that off," she bit down on the inside of her bottom lip, "and I'm not about to let Sam face this shit alone. I'm not gonna leave him alone like you will in a year." That was a low blow, but she couldn't find it in herself to give a damn anymore.

Everything was fucked up and, being brutally honest with herself, Shay highly doubted it could ever be made right again. Maybe they could glue all the missing pieces back into the jagged puzzle that was their incredibly skewed family dynamic, but the cracks would always remain.