Title: Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous
Summary: Just a random kinda shippy, song fic.
Flavor: Humor/Romance
Rating: PG
Timeline: V.I.P Season Four
Disclaimer: Pam, SPE,J.F Lawton own V.I.P Good Charlotte owns the song.
Special Thanks: Nicole you rock! Thanks for giving me the idea to write this. And helping me write this.
Always see it on T.V
Or read in the magazines
Celebrities who want sympathy
All they do piss and moan
Inside the Rolling Stone
Talking about how hard life can be
Tasha is ranting and raving about VIPs new client David Saradine. He's a actor in town for the academy awards and he wants VIP to be his entourage to the show.
Tasha(ranting): He's just another spoiled actor who wants attention and what better way to get then to show up with VIP...(her face filled with rage)
Kay(piping up): You know he is paying us a rather large fee(with a huge smirk on her face) and plus we get to ride in his limo and see all the stars like Dame Judy Denche(she says star stuck)
Val(agreeing): Now we can all by matching dresses to the Oscars...(thinking to herself) I wonder how J-Lo's dress at the golden globes would look on me...
Tasha(rolls her eyes): Whatever,(to Kay) I think we've found someone more shallow than Val(gives her a look)
And so began the ordeal that was David Saradine.
I'd like to see them spend a week
Living life on out the on streets
I don't think they would survive
If they could spend a day or two
Walking in someone else's shoes
I think they'd stumble and they'd fall
They would fall
David Saradine world famous actor. Well sort of. He'd starred in all of one movie, prior to this one. The movie
hadn't done very well, although he felt it was worth of at least a golden globe nomination. Lately he had
become obsessed with the Asian culture, and specifically the Chinese culture. He even started to learn all the
mannerisms of people from China, or his version of what they were. Also he learned the ancient Chinese art of
tai chi, and claimed to be a descendant of the Ming Dynasty, even though his parents were Irish Catholics.
Tears of the Dragon he hoped would finally catapult his struggling career into superstardom. When it was
nominated for best screenplay at the Oscars, he acted like his movie was nominated for the coveted best
picture award. To make his grand entrance at the Oscars, he decided to hire V.I.P to further bring the spotlight
on himself and his movie.
Lifestyles of the rich and famous
They're always complaining, always complaining
IF money is such a problem
Well they've got mansions think we should rob them
Tasha(briefing David on V.I.P protocol): Now Mr. Saradine I know you're a famous actor and you want have some privacy from the paparazzi and overzealous fans. We will try to accommodate you in any of your security needs, and we'll always be ready to take action if need be.
David(in a pseudo Chinese accent): I see you have many weapons of violence. I don't use violence. Confucius say violence is for the fool, wise men seek peace..(trying to sound all profound)
Tasha(trying reason): I appreciate your (cough) insight in this matter, but if your life is in danger, we will do whatever we can to protect you.
David(pseudo Chinese accent): My life is like cherry blossom I let nature decide whether its my time to go.
Johnny(reeling): Like now would be a good time(under his breath)
Kay(seeing how pissed Johnny looks): So David, what's your movie about exactly?
David(still in his pseudo Chinese accent): Its about a man. Who uses the power of his mind, and the sacred art of Tai Chi, to mentor a young monk, on his path to spiritual awareness.
Nikki(not impressed): That sounds boring.(rolling her eyes)
Did you know if you were famous and you killed your wife
And there's no such thing as twenty-five to life
As long as you got the cash to pay for Cochran
And did you know if you were caught and you were smoking crack
McDonald's wouldn't even want to take you back
You could always run for mayor of DC
David(in his 'chinese' accent): You see young one(to Nikki) violence bring bad karma, must be in touch with chi, to avoid use of violence. Power of mind stronger than power of gun.
Nikki(getting pissed): Want to test out that theory?(pulling out one of her guns)
David(still on his rant):You must use the power of the Chi, to calm your temper young one. Must rid self of violence.
Nikki(fuming): Well I must use power of gun to rid myself of you.
Johnny(thinking): I don't usually condone violence, but I think this guys the exception.(looks at Nikki approvingly)
I'd like to see them spend a week
Living life on out the on streets
I don't think they would survive
If they could spend a day or two
Waking in someone else's shoes
I think they'd stumble and they'd fall
They would fall
Nikki(ranting): I can't believe him! That guy is annoying!(as she's eating her blooming onion at Foam with Johnny)
Johnny(agreeing): I know. I mean I don't do the whole gun thing, but that guy was way out of line with the whole 'Confucius say violence for fool, wise man seek peace' (in a mock David voice) thing...
Nikki(still fuming): Tell me about it. He's just some wacked out guy that spends way too much worrying about what 'Confucius say'
Johnny(has an idea): You know what?
Nikki: What?
Johnny(has an evil gleam in his eye): You know what we should do?
Nikki(has no clue what he's talking about): Do? About what?
Johnny(smiling evilly): We shouldn't go the Oscars...
Nikki(confused): What? I mean that guy really got on my nerves but we shouldn't just drop him? What if something happens and they need back up or something?
Johnny(smirking): Put it this way, where would you rather be: at an awards show that lasts who knows how
long with the worlds most irritating actor or renting a good movie and having dinner with your close friend?
Lifestyles of the rich and the famous
They're always complaining, always complaining
IF money is such a problem
Well they've got mansions think we should rob them
They would fall
Fall
Nikki(smiling): I cant believe we're doing this.(while she's eating watching a movie and eating popcorn with johnny at his apartment)
Johnny(smiling): Well it was either this or the alternative.
Nikki: This is soo much better...But I feel kinda bad lying to Tasha.
Johnny(puts his arm around her): Yeah I know, but I guess they'll just have to deal with it.
Lifestyles of the rich and the famous
They're always complaining, always complaining
If money is such a problem
They've got so many problems
Think I could solve them
Quick(to Tasha): Why aren't they here again?(as they're walking down the red carpet with David)
Tasha(matter-of-factly): They said they weren't feeling too well..
Quick(confused): Not feeling well. How do you get sick in three hours?
Tasha(shrugs): I don't know maybe they suddenly just fell ill..
Kay(under her breath): I wish I weren't feeling well..
Lifestyles of the rich and the famous
We'll take clothes, cash, cars, and homes
Just stop complaining
Lifestyles of the rich and famous
Lifestyles of the rich and famous
Lifestyles of the rich and famous
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A/N:I hope you all liked it. It was kinda random, but I hope it made some kind of sense. :)